IFS has helped me more than any other therapy I've tried. Talk therapy does not work for me. I am so grateful to have found a therapist in my area who is certified in this type of therapy.
I had never heard of it before I met my current therapist. It has been transformational and I highly recommend it. Although, it is intense! Which is not a bad thing ;-)
I'm right there with you on that. I'm finally getting help for my ptsd and just listening to this makes me cry. It makes so much sense. Good luck to you. ❤😊
Thanks Teresa again! 👏 I feel IFS can help enormously, perhaps even more so than Polyvagal theory, which also resonates, due to the spiritual dimension of the core self. ✌
This was a very informative video and very easy to understand. I have been doing IFS for a few years now and it is life changing. I wish everyone would make the time to get to know their parts. IFS should be taught in school.
Closed my eyes. I felt bitchy and cynical. I also felt tension in certain parts of my body. I offered gratitude to the bitchy, cynical feelings and they responded with a feeling of validation. Like, they felt valid in their bitchy/cynicism.
I paused the video and noticed so many thoughts. "I really need to do my homework", "Am I really heartless? (based on a family interaction)", thoughts about my partner, things people have said for them and against them, "I'm so tired of worrying so much what people think of me", "I wish I could just focus on my stuff", and so on. When I came back to the video, and I told my parts thank you, I immediately started tearing up. I realized how all the different parts are just trying to help me keep going, to look out for myself, but to also be a good person, and I heard them tell me "thank you. I am trying". It feels like such a weight off. Like the parts are working so hard, and they are so often rejected, ignored, or misunderstood. But they all have a job they're trying so hard to do, and they never get thanked for it. I will definitely be doing this again.
I recently started IFS and after my first session i felt really blocked, felt like my managers built an armor, so now I am curious in how did you learn to talk to your parts.. is it a feeling? An imagination?
@@ernestteys5986 I consider every thought that comes through my head as it comes from a certain part, and giving the part attention and appreciation is really kind of like giving myself the gratitude for the thought instead of having another thought shoot it down. I guess it's a way to tell all my parts to stop fighting and they are all good and valid. It's all kinda in my feelings and imagination
@@ernestteys5986 for you I would say to talk to your managers directly and ask them questions like "what are you guarding from?" "Can you trust me a little bit so I can try to help?" Like they are doing their job too and maybe they actually want permission to take a break!
I did the exercise and it made me realise something. I felt anxiousness and vulnerability in my body. But when you said to send that part gratitude, I found that very hard. I found myself very resistant to give those uncomfortable feelings any gratitude. I just gave those feelings the cold shoulder.
Whats works for me is to think those feelings or emotions are protectors and in a way indicators that something is not right and I have to pay attention to it. If i decided in the past to ignore them I just made my issue bigger. Just trying to help but I do understand why you( and myself in the past) do that
Try sitting with the resistance and thank it for protecting you. Allow it to be there. It’s normal to feel resistance. Eventually you will soften it by acknowledging it, and then try sending all the love to it.
If one does anything practical in his work, 'firefighter' can't be avoided, it is just a question in which form it is. Problems are fixed and handled as they appear, on the fly.
Interesting exercise. I’ve only done this just the once, just now, but I noticed that it felt sort of good to ever-so-slightly 'see'/feel/sense (…?) that ‘part of me’ that was/is presently feeling worried, miserable and lacking a clear enough focus on things to do the things I need to do, work wise. My sense of it is like an imagined physical presence, movement, shape and so on (one part 'me-me' and another part also 'me'), rather than anything I could accurately put words to or names to. Maybe I’m not doing this exercise right, but for me it seems to be almost a physical thing - sort of like the act of drawing, ‘seeing’ musical forms/patterns/etc, touch or physically making something. This might not make any sense to anyone else out there but I thought it might be worthwhile adding my experience of this exercise to the general mix of comments. I’ll try this exercise again when I get time. My feeling is that there is something useful to be got from it. A bit dream-like in some ways. Anyway, cuppa tea and back to work.
Thank you so much for sharing your insights Roy. Yes, parts can feel like a shape, a colour, texture, movement, presence and so forth. I can see that you are an artist so next time you do this exercise your might want to draw a part or parts. I'd love to know how you get on. Thank you again for sharing your valuable insights. Best wishes, Teresa.
Thank you! ❤ I'd also recommend the book Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy by Susan McConnell. Really highlights the somatic/body aspect of this method!
I've been trying so hard to understand what IFS is, by watching vids and reading things online about it, but I guess my mental processes really don't work this way. Lucky me, I guess? It seems like a very real struggle to be at odds with yourself. Thanks for the explanation
The work of Robert Falconer combines SRT (spirit releasement therapy) with IFS and it's made an enormous difference in folks' lives, tho it's heterodox in all the ways. Here's to merging of these modalities. Great video.
This method is helping me so much!! I wish everyone knew about it. Especially for complex trauma and triggers. I have a question though, how does this therapy healing modality relate to Dissociative Identity Disorder?
Thanks for your comment. IFS says that people who suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) only differ from the average person in terms of how separated their parts are. In other words, we’re all multiple.The average person is significantly more integrated in terms of how their inner parts or aspects function in comparison to someone with DID, but the basic structure is the same: we have an internal ‘family’ of parts that has its own interpersonal dynamics and tensions. There are many psychological models that recognise we are made up of many different parts. You may find my videos on Transactional Analysis (TA) of interest. Best wishes, Teresa.
@@LewisPsychology As a live-long victim of narcissistic abuse from childhood your video raised a question about the Self in a narcissistic personality. I say it because I have the notion they don't have a real identity (if I am not mistaken) due to their need to wear a mask or many masks. What is the difference between the Self of a narcissist from someone who is not? Hoping my question makes any sense and I have explained myself well enough (English is my second language). Thanks for your videos. I do enjoy them 😊
IFS and Polyvagal are two very different theories. If I were to link them I would say the Self links to the ventral vagal state, the protectors link to the sympathetic and dorsal vagal states. Best wishes. Teresa.
It is weird that I have the conviction before that somehow we need integration even when we dont have multiple personalities disorder. It has been in my mind for so long. Just mentioned it to my therapist and she agreed and send me this.
We all have managers and they can take many different forms. If your firefighters dominate then you can get the sense that you are not functional. Ideally you want your Self to be in charge. I hope this helps. Best wishes, Teresa.
@@LewisPsychology This helps me! I heard about IFS from a friend years ago. Your video sums up the basics in a way I can more easily understand. Thank you!
So... what if we've been subtly doing this for years now to cope and manage ourselves but those parts of us have been given full identities and swap out who is in lead with our core? And we don't mean DID, but something like this still... 'cause I'm one of those parts.
Great to hear your IFS therapist is an experienced trauma therapist. I think some theoretical approaches will personally resonate more than others. Also, you will find you ‘click’ with some therapists and not others. Therapy is a process of finding what works for you. Best wishes, Teresa.
Thanks for your comment. IFS says that people who suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) only differ from the average person in terms of how separated their parts are. In other words, we’re all multiple.The average person is significantly more integrated in terms of how their inner parts or aspects function in comparison to someone with DID, but the basic structure is the same: we have an internal ‘family’ of parts that has its own interpersonal dynamics and tensions. There are many psychological models that recognise we are made up of many different parts. You may find my videos on Transactional Analysis (TA) of interest. Best wishes, Teresa.
Is it normal for these parts to have names and different pronouns? I suffer from extreme depersonalization and I really don’t know what thoughts are mine. I don’t fit the criteria for DID so I’m wondering if my brain just automatically started using this therapy.
There are many models of therapy that use parts for example, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Transactional Analysis (TA). IFS and TA name the parts differently. For example in TA the parts are labelled Parent, Adult and Child and in IFS the parts are labelled Managers, Firefighters and Exiles. I have IFS and TA playlists that you may find helpful. Best wishes, Teresa.
This is the first time I’ve heard of this therapy. It’s reminding me of when I’ve heard people talk about DID. I don’t think I experience myself as”parts”, so it’s hard to relate to what you’re saying. I experience different sides to my personality, but they aren’t compartmentalised and don’t exist as parts sitting along side one another, so I don’t understand how to talk to parts of myself like you’re suggesting. Is the idea that I should try and turn different sides to my personality into separate parts and imagine them talking to one another? If so, how do I do that?
You you are interested in internal family systems (IFS) watch this video next: th-cam.com/video/YyJg6-Aq7Gw/w-d-xo.html. Best wishes, Teresa.
IFS has helped me more than any other therapy I've tried. Talk therapy does not work for me. I am so grateful to have found a therapist in my area who is certified in this type of therapy.
I’m so pleased to hear IFS works for you. It certainly is an amazing model. Best wishes, Teresa.
I had never heard of it before I met my current therapist. It has been transformational and I highly recommend it. Although, it is intense! Which is not a bad thing ;-)
Me too❤❤❤
Feeling called out as I’m trying to lose weight while sabotaging and getting burger king
All my years of therapy and never heard of this yet makes so much sense! Thank you.
Just listening to this makes me emotional.
I guess I have an exile who is very young. And sometimes I deeply miss it, to the point of crying.
I'm right there with you on that. I'm finally getting help for my ptsd and just listening to this makes me cry. It makes so much sense. Good luck to you. ❤😊
@@JJbIrd0608 i guess it is true you will feel the pain again first before healing happens? That's what I feel whenever I try
Sounds like your inner child
This was a great illustration. I've been doing IFS for four months now and it has been so incredibly healing.
Thanks Diane. IFS is certainly very healing. Wishing you all the best on your IFS journey. Best wishes, Teresa.
I identify very much with the way I have been experiencing life , and the way that model works . It is a great way to introduce integration
Thanks Teresa again! 👏
I feel IFS can help enormously, perhaps even more so than Polyvagal theory, which also resonates, due to the spiritual dimension of the core self. ✌
Thank you for your kind monetary support. Yes, IFS is certainly a very powerful therapy. Best wishes, Teresa.
This was a very informative video and very easy to understand. I have been doing IFS for a few years now and it is life changing. I wish everyone would make the time to get to know their parts. IFS should be taught in school.
It really is such a powerful therapy. Best wishes, Teresa.
What video(s)/book etc. Would you recommend for someone who has just stumbled on IFS and would like to start doing it?
@@macaroon147”No Bad Parts” by Richard Schwartz ( he started IFS)
Closed my eyes. I felt bitchy and cynical. I also felt tension in certain parts of my body. I offered gratitude to the bitchy, cynical feelings and they responded with a feeling of validation. Like, they felt valid in their bitchy/cynicism.
I paused the video and noticed so many thoughts. "I really need to do my homework", "Am I really heartless? (based on a family interaction)", thoughts about my partner, things people have said for them and against them, "I'm so tired of worrying so much what people think of me", "I wish I could just focus on my stuff", and so on. When I came back to the video, and I told my parts thank you, I immediately started tearing up. I realized how all the different parts are just trying to help me keep going, to look out for myself, but to also be a good person, and I heard them tell me "thank you. I am trying". It feels like such a weight off. Like the parts are working so hard, and they are so often rejected, ignored, or misunderstood. But they all have a job they're trying so hard to do, and they never get thanked for it. I will definitely be doing this again.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Warmest wishes, Teresa 🌸
I recently started IFS and after my first session i felt really blocked, felt like my managers built an armor, so now I am curious in how did you learn to talk to your parts.. is it a feeling? An imagination?
@@ernestteys5986 I consider every thought that comes through my head as it comes from a certain part, and giving the part attention and appreciation is really kind of like giving myself the gratitude for the thought instead of having another thought shoot it down. I guess it's a way to tell all my parts to stop fighting and they are all good and valid. It's all kinda in my feelings and imagination
@@ernestteys5986 for you I would say to talk to your managers directly and ask them questions like "what are you guarding from?" "Can you trust me a little bit so I can try to help?" Like they are doing their job too and maybe they actually want permission to take a break!
You've outdone yourself once again. I will keep this gem for my nightly troubles.
Thanks for your kind words Chris. Best wishes, Teresa.
I did the exercise and it made me realise something. I felt anxiousness and vulnerability in my body. But when you said to send that part gratitude, I found that very hard. I found myself very resistant to give those uncomfortable feelings any gratitude. I just gave those feelings the cold shoulder.
Whats works for me is to think those feelings or emotions are protectors and in a way indicators that something is not right and I have to pay attention to it. If i decided in the past to ignore them I just made my issue bigger. Just trying to help but I do understand why you( and myself in the past) do that
Try sitting with the resistance and thank it for protecting you. Allow it to be there. It’s normal to feel resistance. Eventually you will soften it by acknowledging it, and then try sending all the love to it.
Loved the video! So helpful! Thank you!
Thank you 🙏
Thanks
Thank you so much for your kind monetary support, it’s greatly appreciated. Best wishes, Teresa.
I am in IFS training right now. Love it!
That's awesome! Best wishes, Teresa.
Wow ! What a brilliant video. Thank you for making IFS so much more understandable to me. Loved the exercise at the end.
Thanks for your support Andrea. I’m pleased to hear my video made IFS more understandable. Best wishes, Teresa.
Thanks for the clear explanation Teresa. I found it very easy to follow and understand.
Glad it was helpful! Best wishes, Teresa.
If one does anything practical in his work, 'firefighter' can't be avoided, it is just a question in which form it is. Problems are fixed and handled as they appear, on the fly.
It’s not so much about avoiding these parts as it is making sure they’re operating at a healthy and manageable level for your psyche and circumstances
Was a manager, then a firefighter then exile. Now I'm all. But breaking free InshAllah
Interesting exercise. I’ve only done this just the once, just now, but I noticed that it felt sort of good to ever-so-slightly 'see'/feel/sense (…?) that ‘part of me’ that was/is presently feeling worried, miserable and lacking a clear enough focus on things to do the things I need to do, work wise. My sense of it is like an imagined physical presence, movement, shape and so on (one part 'me-me' and another part also 'me'), rather than anything I could accurately put words to or names to. Maybe I’m not doing this exercise right, but for me it seems to be almost a physical thing - sort of like the act of drawing, ‘seeing’ musical forms/patterns/etc, touch or physically making something. This might not make any sense to anyone else out there but I thought it might be worthwhile adding my experience of this exercise to the general mix of comments. I’ll try this exercise again when I get time. My feeling is that there is something useful to be got from it. A bit dream-like in some ways. Anyway, cuppa tea and back to work.
Thank you so much for sharing your insights Roy. Yes, parts can feel like a shape, a colour, texture, movement, presence and so forth. I can see that you are an artist so next time you do this exercise your might want to draw a part or parts. I'd love to know how you get on. Thank you again for sharing your valuable insights. Best wishes, Teresa.
Thank you! ❤ I'd also recommend the book Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy by Susan McConnell. Really highlights the somatic/body aspect of this method!
I agree, it really is an excellent book, thanks for recommending. Best wishes, Teresa.
I've been trying so hard to understand what IFS is, by watching vids and reading things online about it, but I guess my mental processes really don't work this way. Lucky me, I guess? It seems like a very real struggle to be at odds with yourself. Thanks for the explanation
I've just found it. Does seem to make DID seem more understandable.
that was really good - thankyou!
Glad you liked it! Best wishes, Teresa.
I just heard of IFS today. This reminds me a lot of Transactional Analysis!
Yes, both TA and IFS work with parts. Best wishes, Teresa.
Excellent!! Simply presented, good graphics, had an exercise for subjective meditation.
Wow, amazing video, incredibly clear, thankyou....
That’s great to hear, thank you. Best wishes, Teresa.
Your videos are excellent, very helpful! Thank You!
Thank you Dan, that’s great to hear. Best wishes, Teresa
The work of Robert Falconer combines SRT (spirit releasement therapy) with IFS and it's made an enormous difference in folks' lives, tho it's heterodox in all the ways.
Here's to merging of these modalities. Great video.
That sounds interesting. Glad you enjoyed the video. Best wishes, Teresa.
Oh subscribing right away. My manager is telling me I need to know more: it must be tired of showing me the same thing and me not listening😂😂😂
😂😂😂
THANK YOU! This is one of the clearest explanations of IFS I've seen so far!
Great to hear! Thanks for your support. Best wishes, Teresa.
SO helpful! Thank you so much!
Glad it was helpful! Best wishes, Teresa.
Gracias!
great explanation, thank you
You’ve done a great job there, thank you ❤️ IFS has been so helpful and workable. Very clever of Richard Schwartz to come up with it.
Thank you kindly! Best wishes, Teresa.
This method is helping me so much!! I wish everyone knew about it. Especially for complex trauma and triggers. I have a question though, how does this therapy healing modality relate to Dissociative Identity Disorder?
Thanks for your comment. IFS says that people who suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) only differ from the average person in terms of how separated their parts are. In other words, we’re all multiple.The average person is significantly more integrated in terms of how their inner parts or aspects function in comparison to someone with DID, but the basic structure is the same: we have an internal ‘family’ of parts that has its own interpersonal dynamics and tensions. There are many psychological models that recognise we are made up of many different parts. You may find my videos on Transactional Analysis (TA) of interest. Best wishes, Teresa.
@@LewisPsychology
As a live-long victim of narcissistic abuse from childhood your video raised a question about the Self in a narcissistic personality.
I say it because I have the notion they don't have a real identity (if I am not mistaken) due to their need to wear a mask or many masks.
What is the difference between the Self of a narcissist from someone who is not?
Hoping my question makes any sense and I have explained myself well enough (English is my second language).
Thanks for your videos. I do enjoy them 😊
Thank you 🙏🏾
You are so welcome. Best wishes, Teresa.
Intresting, what you explained about IFS makes totally sense to me, my question is how does it co-exist with the Polyvagel theory.
IFS and Polyvagal are two very different theories. If I were to link them I would say the Self links to the ventral vagal state, the protectors link to the sympathetic and dorsal vagal states. Best wishes. Teresa.
I closed my eyes and felt a heaviness in my heart, before I started sobbing. Exile in me is dying to release her pain
Thank you for sharing your experience. Best wishes, Teresa.
Super helpful
That’s great to hear. Best wishes, Teresa.
It is weird that I have the conviction before that somehow we need integration even when we dont have multiple personalities disorder. It has been in my mind for so long. Just mentioned it to my therapist and she agreed and send me this.
Is it possible to be missing a part? I'm not functional in the slightest and I'm not sure I have a manager :/
We all have managers and they can take many different forms. If your firefighters dominate then you can get the sense that you are not functional. Ideally you want your Self to be in charge. I hope this helps. Best wishes, Teresa.
@@LewisPsychology This helps me! I heard about IFS from a friend years ago. Your video sums up the basics in a way I can more easily understand. Thank you!
I love how others' questions can open up spaces and awareness in me! Thank you Amanda!
@@sassycindy2746 yeah I was kinda misunderstanding how the whole parts system works 👍
So... what if we've been subtly doing this for years now to cope and manage ourselves but those parts of us have been given full identities and swap out who is in lead with our core?
And we don't mean DID, but something like this still... 'cause I'm one of those parts.
How can I get an appointment with you? I want to try this ifs therapy?
Yes, the link to my website is in the description of this video. My private practice is called Lewis Psychology. Best wishes, Teresa.
I'm really trying w my therapist but I feel like I'm getting no where 😢
👍
Is IFS good for trauma work, I've done a few sessions but not noticed any difference or useful about it
Is your therapist a trained and experienced trauma therapist? Best wishes, Teresa.
Yes@@LewisPsychology
Great to hear your IFS therapist is an experienced trauma therapist. I think some theoretical approaches will personally resonate more than others. Also, you will find you ‘click’ with some therapists and not others. Therapy is a process of finding what works for you. Best wishes, Teresa.
I met two parts the firefighter and the exile. In that order. No manager at all. Why is that ?
Try the exercise a few times and you may eventually meet a manager part. Let me know how you get on. Best wishes, Teresa.
I've tried a lot of therapy in the past, is there any chance this won't work for me?
I always think it depends on the therapist rather than the therapeutic modality. Best wishes, Teresa.
I find this enlightening but the theory itself seems like multiple personality disorder in which the self in fractured into numerous mini selves
Thanks for your comment. IFS says that people who suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) only differ from the average person in terms of how separated their parts are. In other words, we’re all multiple.The average person is significantly more integrated in terms of how their inner parts or aspects function in comparison to someone with DID, but the basic structure is the same: we have an internal ‘family’ of parts that has its own interpersonal dynamics and tensions. There are many psychological models that recognise we are made up of many different parts. You may find my videos on Transactional Analysis (TA) of interest. Best wishes, Teresa.
Is IFS based on Freudian psychology?
No.
Is it normal for these parts to have names and different pronouns? I suffer from extreme depersonalization and I really don’t know what thoughts are mine. I don’t fit the criteria for DID so I’m wondering if my brain just automatically started using this therapy.
There are many models of therapy that use parts for example, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Transactional Analysis (TA). IFS and TA name the parts differently. For example in TA the parts are labelled Parent, Adult and Child and in IFS the parts are labelled Managers, Firefighters and Exiles. I have IFS and TA playlists that you may find helpful. Best wishes, Teresa.
@@LewisPsychologyohhh i see
Wow
This is the first time I’ve heard of this therapy. It’s reminding me of when I’ve heard people talk about DID. I don’t think I experience myself as”parts”, so it’s hard to relate to what you’re saying. I experience different sides to my personality, but they aren’t compartmentalised and don’t exist as parts sitting along side one another, so I don’t understand how to talk to parts of myself like you’re suggesting.
Is the idea that I should try and turn different sides to my personality into separate parts and imagine them talking to one another? If so, how do I do that?
The different sides to your personality are the different parts. We all experience them differently. Best wishes, Teresa.
🙏
✅
Makes sense, it's a pity that the model is expensive and it is considered witchcraft here.
Where?