I'm doing internal family systems because I have complex PTSD and it's amazing. I thought most my trauma happened as a teen because that's what I remembered. I started doing parts works and it turns out I have all these inner child that hold tremendous trauma to protect me. And then I have a dissociative part that depersonalizes when my little ones have taken on more than they can handle. I found that I have trauma all the way back to 2 years old. When I first started parts work, it was unbelievable to me. These parts had their own separate feelings from me. I could talk to then and they could answer me. If I didn't go through it, I wouldn't understand or probably even believe it.
Wow that's amazing! I've just learned about this work but I haven't done any sessions of IFS yet. It's neat to hear people's stories of doing this work. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for saying this Nadine! I'm just starting out and have found that I might have pre-verbal trauma (was plucked from womb early). I would often play videogames or rationalize my emotions away as a kid, and looks like theres a lot of trauma being held from way back. Hopefully my parts will tell me whats up but they've been exiled so long its going to take some time I think. Seeing how you've noticed your progress is really exciting for me! Thanks!
@@ZaZen___ good luck! I'm also just at the start of my journey with IFS, and I'm both nervous and excited! It will be interesting to see what I discover from my parts. Hope it goes well for you!
MY THERAPIST SUGGESTED I LISTEN TO IFS INFO. I'VE SUFFERED MY WHOLE LIFE FROM ABUSE, BRUTALITY AND SEXUAL ASSAULT. THIS IS TRULY A REAL ANSWER FOR ME... TO BAD I'M SO OLD.. THIS COULD HAVE SAVED ME A LOT OF SUFFERING AND CONFUSION IN MY LONG LIFE... I AM GOOD, I KNOW THAT. JUST DIDN'T HAVE HELP
I remember a dear friend explaining to me what it’s like to have multiple personalities and me thinking that that it’s not too far from how my mind works on a daily basis, just not separate people inside me, hiding and protecting me. I don’t know why I could recognize this. I do have a rather troubled and abused past. Not sure if that’s why or what. But I do find this fascinating.
I have been doing IFS now for about four months with a therapist trained in it and it’s been amazing. I have been in and out of therapy for over a decade and never really made progress. I have made more progress in healing in three months with this form of therapy than I ever had in the last decade. I go twice per month. It’s been absolutely incredible.
IFS sounds very close to Roberto Assagioli's Psychosynthesis, founded around 1910. I'm sorry to hear that this is still regarded as "Woo woo" when it makes perfect sense. In Psychosynthesis, there is the analogy of an orchestra made up of subpersonalities, with the conductor at the centre being the 'I' (equivalent to 'Self' in IFS). The goal of therapy is to develop harmony by healing the individual parts in the orchestra - and this is done through dialogue in a very caring, compassionate way. Each subpersonality is recognised as having at its core a valuable role to play, but trauma has skewed its development and potential. It's very good to see the same approach being put into action by IFS. Thank you.
I haven't heard of Psychosynthesis before, but It seems very interesting considering that back in 1910 even psychoanalysis was in its first steps. Thanks for sharing!
This is fascinating and I want to try it sometime soon. I know a lot of people who have studied IFS and swear by how effective it is. What's interesting is that I experienced my Essential Self and that sense of peace that Dr. Schwartz described as "nirvana" --- an embodied sense of being totally okay with myself --- when I had MDMA-Assisted Therapy. I think MDMA, which quiets the amygdala (fight/flight/freeze) part of the brain, must facilitate or expedite accessing the IFS parts. Totally fascinating!!
What's really interesting about this is it reminds me of one of the little breakthroughs I had in my healing from childhood abuse. As an adult, I struggle with a lot of self hate and self harm because of this feeling of worthlessness instilled in me by my abusive mother. Well, I've been looking into inner child healing and doing meditations where I visualize myself meeting with my inner child and going through the events and letting the child now it's okay now. And even in my day to day life, I have started to address my inner child more and I use it to help me not hurt myself. If I wouldn't hurt a physical child, why would I hurt the child inside me who survived all this trauma. This has helped me be more kind to myself and do little things like make sure I eat or make sure I take care of myself. Really interested to look more into this, especially since right now I'm going through Exposure Therapy treatment and I just had to revisit one of my most traumatic child hood memories and I didn't even know that memory still existed inside me.
That's so interesting, I was raised by an abusive mother too yet I have never struggled with self hate or self harm or feeling worthless, quite the opposite - I have trust issues and have super high standards as a woman and person in order to protect myself.
Me too, raised by two narcissists. Had to find my inner child (baby too) and learn to hold him, I've also needed to embody my rage, grief, anger etc...without hurting anyone, because it's still there and stuck in my body. Found that embodiment work has been far more valuable than anything else.
Am very grateful for the huge efforts made to develop this understanding, articulate it and share it. An incredible legacy to leave humanity. Utmost respect and appreciation.
This is exactly what I needed. I recently discovered a part of me that had always been there but never made itself known until directly addressed. It's this kinda emotionless childlike thing likely born of childhood trauma. It considers itself as having absolutely no worth aside from being abused, which... yeah, isn't great. Trying to get this part to value itself, or even feel emotions is hard but once it heals, it's going to be great. Now that I've found IFS i think that this healing, and the healing of my other parts can truly begin. Gonna take a while, but I've been in pain for so long and I feel like I'm finally seeing more clearly all of these parts and who they really are. Even a demon I have is less of a demon from hell and more this corrupted part that thinks peace can only be achieved through death, but now with finding this hidden part of me I can understand more where a lot of the pain comes from. One wants peace through dying, and one sees peace as having no emotions and renouncing any self worth. It's... a lot, but hey, I can finally start healing by talking to them
My parts are very diverse. From about 6 to at least 17, likely closer to 25. So they don't agree much. At least that's the age where my traumas occurred. Working on it. "what age are you when you have felt xx..." has helped me so much. It helps me even think about it in all interactions. Some of them are a small child in a closet cowering and crying. I tell my therapist it's like I'm sitting as a child with the animated child big eyes looking up at the big person cartoon image. Other parts are watching, others are trying so very hard to be accepted that they made me a workaholic so I could feel the rest of them.
The short, simple book Your Many Faces- The First Step to Being Loved (1978) by Virginia Satir is another way for others to get a feel for this concept. I like the 1978 (first edition) because of the simple drawings. The updated edition has accurate facts but no drawings. This was a great interview!
I had my doubts until I started working with clients using Brainspotting. These parts would naturally emerge. I am already operating with some using the IFS principles combined with BSP and now I really want to train in IFS. Incredibly useful and empowering for the client and very beautiful!!
I'm so happy to have found this. So much of what you are saying are things that my ex partner and I were feeling during our years together trying to heal our own complex trauma. I had found the most powerful thing was self-compassion and that all our 'soul parts' as we called them needed 'compassionate witnessing' and the opportunity to tell their story. I look forward into looking in to what else you found. Thank you :) It is so nice to hear of a healing/therapy model that not only makes sense to me but what is my own understanding and frame of reference for my own healing experience. 💜
What a gift of a therapy. Thanks Doc! Im a combat veteran and a therapist for combat veterans. IFS is such a strong and effective therapy for Vets. If you are a veteran reading this i encourage you to go to your local Vet Center and ask for IFS.
This is new to me, and it all intuitively sounds so right. The one part of this video I didn't understand is what is meant by the self. It sounds like the claim was that in the end, there really is a core Self that can interact with all the other parts? That is the part that is less intuitive to me, rather than that all of the parts together compose the Self. EDITED TO ADD: I take back my question! This video answers it really well: th-cam.com/video/3bNHkg4ZPpA/w-d-xo.html
A really weird and cool thing that happened when I started trauma therapy - not even knowing anything about IFS nor doing IFS - is that I described an experience I had post-session as being my “Self” - I used the term Self when talking with friends and then my therapist without ever having known that this was an actual psychological term/like, Thing!!! I think it happened because of how my therapist does a form of hypnotherapy with internal family systems used in it, aka asking my managers to find and tell the story of a trauma it felt was most important at the time, which was a very interesting and cool feeling because I was aware of what was my own observing self, like the very core part of me that was just seeing and hearing, and I could sense that sub-part of my psyche “move”/react and actually do it. Its been so fascinating to me, and makes me see that this really is true!!
Thankyou so much for explaining this so well. I've heard so many people mess this up. I struggled needing help for decades and i got a good doctor helping me with my anxiety , we then discovered there was trauma (flashbacks happened) and he took a year off to learn IFS becuase myself and another client have DID . I had 2 friends that also have DID and their experiences with therapy were mostly not helpful -and in some cases harmful. I felt progress with this immediately and when that started happening then things kept opening up for me (us) My doctor passed away , but i got the texts and we talked about that for the last year and I am able to access those many parts. It would be nice to have the support of a doctor -but there is no one here, and it's very empowering to be able to help yourself. This is how living is. What we realized also right away that after the 'un-burdening 'happens , then the others have fabulous skills that can be available for healing.
I could spend all day talking about how much IFS and Dr. Schwartz's work in this has impacted my life for the better (and would be happy to!) but right now, I'm wondering: Is there a transcript of this conversation available anywhere? This is pure gold and I would love to be able to point people who would prefer to read it to your site somewhere that has the same conversation typed out.
This may sound silly if you're not into anime, but Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood evokes a LOT of these ideas. Especially Greed and anger (Wrath), etc.
Wow, so happy I stumbled upon this. I read about this while reading the body keeps the score, which I’ve found fascinating so far. Are there any books you recommend that dive deeper into ifs?
I heard richard speaks about trauma resistance in a recent video and he mentioned that it is because the patients don’t see the hope and it isn’t resistance but lack of hope. I wonder if you can ask him to elaborate on that? It was very insightful and I see less understanding around that. many thanks
This part about not being able to just do it so to speak... this is the case for me. There is something to do with me doing all the work on myself but then just stopping and not wanting/being able to go through. I don't feel this is laziness or avoidance... it is like hitting a wall over and over. It is exhausting. The very closest I came to loving myself... I had created this internal visualization of my family and partner loving me, supporting me, literally laying out a golden carpet of love for me to walk on and begin to be safe in feeling love. I gave myself the things I felt I lacked. Support, love, connection, family support. I went through all the memories of where I felt unloved and enveloped them with love. It felt really good. Well I just couldn't do it! I couldn't actually let myself experience love for myself. And what swung from that was 'I can't do it because there is something wrong with me.' This is the crux of my very existence. It's really difficult to operate from this so deeply. Everything comes back to it. I have no idea where it started and I don't know if it even matters. But it affects my identity, decision-making, serious self-doubt. Sometimes I just feel as though I am made of nothing and I just sort of collapse. It's as though nothing really exists or has any meaning to it... I feel like Mr Burns when he blows away in the wind... My memories are non-existent from childhood. I feel guilty about everything... things I like, friends, family, my partner. Everything feels wrong. I don't have contact with friends and unconsciously seem to isolate myself from everyone. It's like I am overwhelmed with the shadow. As though there is a demon just tainting every aspect of my existence. It's a chronic 'I am a burden to be alive' condition.
I wonder if you talk to the block what would happen. There's an example in Dick Schwartz's book about this very thing where a client has no feel for things except a blank wall. Its page 130 of Integral Family Systems.
Jamal, you have obviously put in a lot of work into yourself and are very brave to post all of this here so I applaud you! I hope you have found EMDR helpful. I have used that tool and there seems to be quite of bit of overlap. I think everyone has to find out what works for them personally and also be able to work with someone they feel comfortable with. I’m just a regular person so none of this is advice! Just reading what you experienced though.... it didn’t come across as failure to me at all... it came across as possibly fear or inability to trust. Both of those things are okay to feel also and are there to protect us in some situations. It felt like you have a tiny voice that maybe says “you don’t deserve” OR “if you trust this, then you will get hurt”. Maybe you have already explored this in the past year but it’s just other emotions to explore as a suggestion. You seem strong so just keep trying! Most of us are banging our heads against “brick walls” that are actually just our own selves! 🤗
Sounds Interesting and similar to some of John Bradshaws Books. I'm curious to know whether or not this theory views most of us who have experienced trauma, have adopted a dissociative disorder to some degree?
This is the first time hearing about this system. Sounds interesting. I found it because I designed a process that may be somewhat similar. I'm looking forward to learning more. Thanks for sharing!
I am interested to know more about your system also - I have done the same and have been testing it for the last 3 years. Please reach out if you would like to connect
I am discovering IFS for the first time as I read the book The body keeps the score. I cant help but see similarities between talking to parts in IFS and the Jungian technique of active imagination.
I would love to hear if anyone who has used IFS has given eutaptics or faster EFT a try. It seems like Faster EFT bypasses getting permission from protectors and goes straight to trying to unburden and release the exiles wounds. Wondering if that can be helpful or dangerous. As someone with lots of references and strong protectors (stubborn) I have found IFS’s ways of getting permission and allowing for choices very helpful in getting the protectors to relax more. Most of them are just looking for recognition. It is still confusing to me at times, all the parts. Sometimes I can’t tell if the protectors are the wounds. I definitely have resistance so I do find the bypassing necessary at times, because otherwise I can get stuck with the protectors. They’re very rigid and long lived. So they need some shakeup it seems. But I don’t want it to be thru destructive means in my external life.
How about fragments? I feel like a puzzle I am putting together for the whole picture. They are pieces of a Whole Self that was torn into fragments and we are picking Us up and putting us back together again. I have been blessed with 2 beautiful grand children and my daughter is the best mom I could ever ask for. We are absolutely born whole or Self would not exist. I am learning to love like no one. Thank you for your energy And I like learning pains better than trauma
It's just a different terminology. They would be called parts in ifs, but you can do ifs an call them fragments or subpersonalities or whatever you want I think. In this method the unique thing is the focus om being in Self (or true Self, which never really changes, and are always really good) amongst other things.
You may have a part that is becoming tired from the work and needs to be talked to. The part of you that is eager to heal for reasons x, y, z. Wanting to stay in a shifting space is sort of a form of impatience that you may be imposing on yourself. You like dont want to go back to an earlier state, but if you are patient, and learn to accept the regression, you may permanently change your shift over time:)
I have tried IFS with 2 different therapists. One of them is supposed to be the best in my region. I understand the concept, but it does not work for me in practice. First of all, I am not able to locate anger in my body. I don't feel anything different in my stomach or head. I don't see images or hear anything. There are no physical signs. Also, I can't have a conversation with a part. It has not happened once. I have gotten to the point where I make something up just to satisfy the therapist (and end the session), but it does not work for me.
Hey Jeff, as far as I understood from reading your comment, you are having a resistance. And it is alright. Your body is dissociating. It has a valid reason behind this. I am not telling you what kind of reasons that can be because it will be interpretations from my part and interpretations doesn't help that much with deep level therapies. You will have to find it yourself,experientially. Ask what is the worst thing that could happen if you get in touch with your bodily sensations or images. Dissociation happens when our unconscious mind believes if we get in touch with our traumatic feelings we will die or stuck there eternally. Have someone with you while doing this. A calm presence of someone gives the courage to face our emotions head on. You can try EMDR flash technique. You can research about Coherence Therapy. It is very effective dealing with resistances. Dissociation is difficult to deal with but not impossible. Don't get discouraged my friend. Have my best wishes for your healing journey. Suvajit
@@subhojit3165 Thank you so much for this nice reply. It is great to know there are some thoughtful, compassionate people out there. I've decided to try talking to my inner child ( parts? ) through journaling. So far if feels good when I do. Thanks again.
@@jcepri Which means he was trying to make you cry. Yea. Good call. Maybe crying isn't what you need from therapy. Sometimes all people need is clarity, or something else. That's not up to the therapist tho.
All my parts are absolutely everywhere and just constantly fight with each other. I'm having a hard time getting them to cooperate when they very clearly don't want to. Seems like none of them do which is making my life very difficult. Not sure how to fix this.
I think I'm a family system in my head and it's so confusing. sometimes very soothing. I need more experienced doctors or therapists. The last year and a half when I'm seeking help it's just making everything worse. Hopefully this can help maybe, sounds very interesting.
I am wondering, Dr Schwartz is talking about taking the parts out of the scene they're in and take them to a safe place. Does anybody know what that looks like or can look like?
In a session it's up the parts to choose what that looks like... but to give you an example, I had two parts go and sit on a bench by a beach together. Less with Self but with each other. Similar idea though
WHat do you do if it doesn't work? I've done 7/8 different therapies and they've all made me worse I admit i haven't done ifs but i'm cautious of trying something else
When I feel angry and feel pain in my chest I have come out to state that is disappointment on the authority figures that I have relied upon and have let me down and mistreated me for their own benefit, amusement or just for fun.
I don't understand how this is different from many other approaches that honor various parts as used in psychosynthesis, transactional analysis, family systems as internalized and explored experientially? What am I missing?
Pretty much exactly the same in Psychosynthesis which has been around since mid-20th century... gestalt and other forms have these ideas too- of more than one part - but its folded in as one 'tool' rather than being a separate and only way of working it looks like.
He states a few times, having these parts is not multiplicity. That all humans with strong emotions / events in their lives have learned to have these parts to care for themselves.
I've been reading the transcript alongside the video (which is fantastic of course! thank you so much for sharing these insights, which have already helped me a lot!) since I didn't get the piranha reference and there are some six or ten errors. Can I help you to correct them? That might be useful for listeners who are hearing impaired. I don't think I can do anything directly as the video is under your control. I can compile a list with corrections and post here if that would be useful. Thanks!
I want to locate an IFS therapist in Texas or online I suppose will work for now. I’ve had several therapists quit or change jobs in the middle of my sessions all during the last 2 years and won’t go through that again, not so many. I have Medicare mad was in the e IFS site but if was so easy for me. I’d like some help please. Thank you.
I wonder if Dr Schwartz new Dr Daniel Brown the Harvard Attachment Theory Psychotherapists? This has some similarities with the concepts revealed in Dzogchen and Buddhism it seems to me.
Just keep trying. You’ve got to try not to think about the answer but to let the answer come up. It’s soemthing that you got to keep doing to get better and better at it.
That's actually quite common, and it's known as dissociation - when people feel "blocked" from accessing various parts of themselves. It's a protective mechanism of the subconscious that does not want you to go there. Thanks okay. Respect it. The subconscious/parts will never show you anything you're not ready to see. But keep developing a relationship with your parts by continuing to talk to them (even if they don't seem to want to talk to you) - a good way of doing this is instead of expecting them to "talk" back, shift your attention to bodily sensations, perhaps you might see colours or pictures or memories of your past - parts communicate in all kinds of forms. Also asking questions like: "what are you protecting me from?" or "what are you afraid of happening if you start talking to me?" can be helpful. Slow, deep breathing and relaxation during this process will help your subconscious/selves feel safer to come out and open up. Good luck!
Alex Cameron One answer I’ve heard from Dick Schwartz is that DID or those kind of labels that come from the DSM sees parts as a product of trauma, and somewhat pathologizes them. IFS says that everyone has parts. For someone who has trauma, it makes the parts take on extreme roles eg dissociation. If you dissociate during session, the therapist does grounding, whereas in IFS if you dissociate, the therapist will try talking to that part, gaining its trust and releasing it from taking on that role for you, finding another role to do for you. Rather than getting rid of it.
if you know about the modern theory of evolution, complex systems, and/or the problems of philosophy, the idea that the self is not unitary is so obvious (once you hear it!). Our own cells' parts, even our own genes come from different sources and are in sometimes-uneasy alliances with each other. Our brain is not unitary or centralized, why would our mind be? Evolution seems very unlikely to ever build a complex system that is centrally focused or controlled
Has anyone considered that tight knit groups of cells themselves may have a consciousness and that we are a team internally that functions as one? Lol reminds me of the Borg
This helps explain the rise of non trauma people turning up in all the (DiD) Dissociative Identity Disorder FaceBook groups. As someone who is diagnosed with DiD, and has huge amounts of trauma, this idea of multiplicity and plurality without trauma is horrible and deeply discounting for people like us. I think your way is over simplified and not okay for trauma survivors and indeed your work is very dangerous. I do not believe people with DiD should listen to you at all.
from this point of view, DID is an extreme case of fragmentation due to trauma, while 'normal' trauma results in less fractured system. so it's a spectrum. on the one end, someone fully integrated, on the other someone deeply fragmented (DID). it's not like one excludes the other.
Multiplicity happens to everyone. Its a mechanism of survival and everyone has traumas of some kind. Peter Levine's work is fantastic around this subject.
It a good point and anyone trained properly in any mode that works with parts (which has been around along time before this 'new' system') would not work in this way with DiD as it is likely to be unhelpful.
That's called closed-mindedness. This type of therapy only works for those open-minded and willing enough to work through past trauma. It has benefited me greatly in just a couple of sessions already.
I'm doing internal family systems because I have complex PTSD and it's amazing. I thought most my trauma happened as a teen because that's what I remembered. I started doing parts works and it turns out I have all these inner child that hold tremendous trauma to protect me. And then I have a dissociative part that depersonalizes when my little ones have taken on more than they can handle. I found that I have trauma all the way back to 2 years old. When I first started parts work, it was unbelievable to me. These parts had their own separate feelings from me. I could talk to then and they could answer me. If I didn't go through it, I wouldn't understand or probably even believe it.
Wow that's amazing! I've just learned about this work but I haven't done any sessions of IFS yet. It's neat to hear people's stories of doing this work. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for saying this Nadine! I'm just starting out and have found that I might have pre-verbal trauma (was plucked from womb early). I would often play videogames or rationalize my emotions away as a kid, and looks like theres a lot of trauma being held from way back. Hopefully my parts will tell me whats up but they've been exiled so long its going to take some time I think. Seeing how you've noticed your progress is really exciting for me! Thanks!
@@ZaZen___ good luck! I'm also just at the start of my journey with IFS, and I'm both nervous and excited! It will be interesting to see what I discover from my parts. Hope it goes well for you!
I can find myself in your words; I feel my trauma goes back to early childhood; im so scared to go there. Thank you for sharing your experience ❤
How is this so easy for you for me it doesn't feel so easy to connect that deeply, or even feel like im not just making up my own answers
MY THERAPIST SUGGESTED I LISTEN TO IFS INFO. I'VE SUFFERED MY WHOLE LIFE FROM ABUSE, BRUTALITY AND SEXUAL ASSAULT. THIS IS TRULY A REAL ANSWER FOR ME... TO BAD I'M SO OLD.. THIS COULD HAVE SAVED ME A LOT OF SUFFERING AND CONFUSION IN MY LONG LIFE... I AM GOOD, I KNOW THAT. JUST DIDN'T HAVE HELP
I remember a dear friend explaining to me what it’s like to have multiple personalities and me thinking that that it’s not too far from how my mind works on a daily basis, just not separate people inside me, hiding and protecting me. I don’t know why I could recognize this. I do have a rather troubled and abused past. Not sure if that’s why or what. But I do find this fascinating.
I have been doing IFS now for about four months with a therapist trained in it and it’s been amazing. I have been in and out of therapy for over a decade and never really made progress. I have made more progress in healing in three months with this form of therapy than I ever had in the last decade.
I go twice per month. It’s been absolutely incredible.
IFS sounds very close to Roberto Assagioli's Psychosynthesis, founded around 1910. I'm sorry to hear that this is still regarded as "Woo woo" when it makes perfect sense. In Psychosynthesis, there is the analogy of an orchestra made up of subpersonalities, with the conductor at the centre being the 'I' (equivalent to 'Self' in IFS). The goal of therapy is to develop harmony by healing the individual parts in the orchestra - and this is done through dialogue in a very caring, compassionate way. Each subpersonality is recognised as having at its core a valuable role to play, but trauma has skewed its development and potential. It's very good to see the same approach being put into action by IFS. Thank you.
I haven't heard of Psychosynthesis before, but It seems very interesting considering that back in 1910 even psychoanalysis was in its first steps. Thanks for sharing!
Great comment thanks
IFS is definitely one of the most important innovations in clinical psychology of the 21st century
"...negotiating permission to go to what they protect" . That is so key. Thank you.
Instead of self with a capital "S" I thought of self with a "Spiritual S". This is all really speaking to me! Thank you!
Yeah in a way it kind of sounds like your Higher Self... the part that is calmer, wiser and has broader perspective than all the other parts
in others words that is the SOUL, who we really are
This work has absolutely transformed me. Indebted forever to Dick Schwartz and this work.
This is fascinating and I want to try it sometime soon. I know a lot of people who have studied IFS and swear by how effective it is. What's interesting is that I experienced my Essential Self and that sense of peace that Dr. Schwartz described as "nirvana" --- an embodied sense of being totally okay with myself --- when I had MDMA-Assisted Therapy. I think MDMA, which quiets the amygdala (fight/flight/freeze) part of the brain, must facilitate or expedite accessing the IFS parts. Totally fascinating!!
What's really interesting about this is it reminds me of one of the little breakthroughs I had in my healing from childhood abuse. As an adult, I struggle with a lot of self hate and self harm because of this feeling of worthlessness instilled in me by my abusive mother. Well, I've been looking into inner child healing and doing meditations where I visualize myself meeting with my inner child and going through the events and letting the child now it's okay now. And even in my day to day life, I have started to address my inner child more and I use it to help me not hurt myself. If I wouldn't hurt a physical child, why would I hurt the child inside me who survived all this trauma. This has helped me be more kind to myself and do little things like make sure I eat or make sure I take care of myself. Really interested to look more into this, especially since right now I'm going through Exposure Therapy treatment and I just had to revisit one of my most traumatic child hood memories and I didn't even know that memory still existed inside me.
That's so interesting, I was raised by an abusive mother too yet I have never struggled with self hate or self harm or feeling worthless, quite the opposite - I have trust issues and have super high standards as a woman and person in order to protect myself.
Me too, raised by two narcissists. Had to find my inner child (baby too) and learn to hold him, I've also needed to embody my rage, grief, anger etc...without hurting anyone, because it's still there and stuck in my body. Found that embodiment work has been far more valuable than anything else.
Beautiful response, so happy for you.
Am very grateful for the huge efforts made to develop this understanding, articulate it and share it. An incredible legacy to leave humanity. Utmost respect and appreciation.
I'm grateful for Dr. Schwartz's work. It works. If you stay with it, you'll release energy you didn't know you had.
Absolutely. This model has changed my life! I've got a few videos around this topic as well. God bless!
This is exactly what I needed. I recently discovered a part of me that had always been there but never made itself known until directly addressed. It's this kinda emotionless childlike thing likely born of childhood trauma. It considers itself as having absolutely no worth aside from being abused, which... yeah, isn't great. Trying to get this part to value itself, or even feel emotions is hard but once it heals, it's going to be great. Now that I've found IFS i think that this healing, and the healing of my other parts can truly begin. Gonna take a while, but I've been in pain for so long and I feel like I'm finally seeing more clearly all of these parts and who they really are. Even a demon I have is less of a demon from hell and more this corrupted part that thinks peace can only be achieved through death, but now with finding this hidden part of me I can understand more where a lot of the pain comes from. One wants peace through dying, and one sees peace as having no emotions and renouncing any self worth. It's... a lot, but hey, I can finally start healing by talking to them
My parts are very diverse. From about 6 to at least 17, likely closer to 25. So they don't agree much.
At least that's the age where my traumas occurred. Working on it.
"what age are you when you have felt xx..." has helped me so much. It helps me even think about it in all interactions. Some of them are a small child in a closet cowering and crying. I tell my therapist it's like I'm sitting as a child with the animated child big eyes looking up at the big person cartoon image. Other parts are watching, others are trying so very hard to be accepted that they made me a workaholic so I could feel the rest of them.
You must have a vivid imagination. I don't see or hear parts.
@@jcepri when you do the work, they're obvious
The short, simple book Your Many Faces- The First Step to Being Loved (1978) by Virginia Satir is another way for others to get a feel for this concept. I like the 1978 (first edition) because of the simple drawings. The updated edition has accurate facts but no drawings. This was a great interview!
thank you for that
I know this took Dr. Swartz years to perfect. I sure do appreciate his efforts to date. Thank you Sir.
I had my doubts until I started working with clients using Brainspotting. These parts would naturally emerge. I am already operating with some using the IFS principles combined with BSP and now I really want to train in IFS. Incredibly useful and empowering for the client and very beautiful!!
This is a powerful and trans-formative model that has helped me in my recovery from addiction and recovering from Brain Injury
I'm so happy to have found this. So much of what you are saying are things that my ex partner and I were feeling during our years together trying to heal our own complex trauma. I had found the most powerful thing was self-compassion and that all our 'soul parts' as we called them needed 'compassionate witnessing' and the opportunity to tell their story. I look forward into looking in to what else you found. Thank you :) It is so nice to hear of a healing/therapy model that not only makes sense to me but what is my own understanding and frame of reference for my own healing experience. 💜
Yaaayy, making peace with our inner self!
What a gift of a therapy. Thanks Doc! Im a combat veteran and a therapist for combat veterans. IFS is such a strong and effective therapy for Vets. If you are a veteran reading this i encourage you to go to your local Vet Center and ask for IFS.
This is new to me, and it all intuitively sounds so right. The one part of this video I didn't understand is what is meant by the self. It sounds like the claim was that in the end, there really is a core Self that can interact with all the other parts? That is the part that is less intuitive to me, rather than that all of the parts together compose the Self. EDITED TO ADD: I take back my question! This video answers it really well: th-cam.com/video/3bNHkg4ZPpA/w-d-xo.html
He has written a book "No Bad Parts," which goes over the entire IFS.
A really weird and cool thing that happened when I started trauma therapy - not even knowing anything about IFS nor doing IFS - is that I described an experience I had post-session as being my “Self” - I used the term Self when talking with friends and then my therapist without ever having known that this was an actual psychological term/like, Thing!!! I think it happened because of how my therapist does a form of hypnotherapy with internal family systems used in it, aka asking my managers to find and tell the story of a trauma it felt was most important at the time, which was a very interesting and cool feeling because I was aware of what was my own observing self, like the very core part of me that was just seeing and hearing, and I could sense that sub-part of my psyche “move”/react and actually do it. Its been so fascinating to me, and makes me see that this really is true!!
This is similar to my work in holistic healing, using self-directed compassion, inner child work, and harmonizing the 5 aspects of consciousness.
This man is a saint.
💯💯💯💯
Thankyou so much for explaining this so well. I've heard so many people mess this up. I struggled needing help for decades and i got a good doctor helping me with my anxiety , we then discovered there was trauma (flashbacks happened) and he took a year off to learn IFS becuase myself and another client have DID . I had 2 friends that also have DID and their experiences with therapy were mostly not helpful -and in some cases harmful. I felt progress with this immediately and when that started happening then things kept opening up for me (us) My doctor passed away , but i got the texts and we talked about that for the last year and I am able to access those many parts. It would be nice to have the support of a doctor -but there is no one here, and it's very empowering to be able to help yourself. This is how living is. What we realized also right away that after the 'un-burdening 'happens , then the others have fabulous skills that can be available for healing.
I just started IFS with my therapist and it feels kind of alien to me, but I am hopeful about the results 😊
I thought I had multiple for so many years, my Therapist has been doing IFS with me..and this is the first time I've seen the video, thank you!
I could spend all day talking about how much IFS and Dr. Schwartz's work in this has impacted my life for the better (and would be happy to!) but right now, I'm wondering: Is there a transcript of this conversation available anywhere? This is pure gold and I would love to be able to point people who would prefer to read it to your site somewhere that has the same conversation typed out.
You can click the "..." button under the video to the right to find an automatic transcription - it lacks any punctuation, but could be edited
@tme5
The time stamps can be also toggled to off
This may sound silly if you're not into anime, but Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood evokes a LOT of these ideas. Especially Greed and anger (Wrath), etc.
Please start a podcast!
Wow, so happy I stumbled upon this. I read about this while reading the body keeps the score, which I’ve found fascinating so far. Are there any books you recommend that dive deeper into ifs?
Inner Harmony by Beth Rogerson
Thank you. Really very valuable. Brings together many things beautifully
I heard richard speaks about trauma resistance in a recent video and he mentioned that it is because the patients don’t see the hope and it isn’t resistance but lack of hope. I wonder if you can ask him to elaborate on that? It was very insightful and I see less understanding around that. many thanks
I have been trying to put these ideas into words for years!! Thank you so much for this
This part about not being able to just do it so to speak... this is the case for me. There is something to do with me doing all the work on myself but then just stopping and not wanting/being able to go through. I don't feel this is laziness or avoidance... it is like hitting a wall over and over. It is exhausting. The very closest I came to loving myself... I had created this internal visualization of my family and partner loving me, supporting me, literally laying out a golden carpet of love for me to walk on and begin to be safe in feeling love. I gave myself the things I felt I lacked. Support, love, connection, family support. I went through all the memories of where I felt unloved and enveloped them with love. It felt really good.
Well I just couldn't do it! I couldn't actually let myself experience love for myself. And what swung from that was 'I can't do it because there is something wrong with me.' This is the crux of my very existence.
It's really difficult to operate from this so deeply. Everything comes back to it. I have no idea where it started and I don't know if it even matters. But it affects my identity, decision-making, serious self-doubt. Sometimes I just feel as though I am made of nothing and I just sort of collapse. It's as though nothing really exists or has any meaning to it... I feel like Mr Burns when he blows away in the wind... My memories are non-existent from childhood. I feel guilty about everything... things I like, friends, family, my partner. Everything feels wrong. I don't have contact with friends and unconsciously seem to isolate myself from everyone. It's like I am overwhelmed with the shadow. As though there is a demon just tainting every aspect of my existence. It's a chronic 'I am a burden to be alive' condition.
I wonder if you talk to the block what would happen. There's an example in Dick Schwartz's book about this very thing where a client has no feel for things except a blank wall. Its page 130 of Integral Family Systems.
@@sharayahsunshine11 thanks. I'm yet to check it out. I just got. Therapist but not IFS... EMDR
@@jamclow I'm very curious how your journey has been...emdr
Jamal, you have obviously put in a lot of work into yourself and are very brave to post all of this here so I applaud you! I hope you have found EMDR helpful. I have used that tool and there seems to be quite of bit of overlap. I think everyone has to find out what works for them personally and also be able to work with someone they feel comfortable with. I’m just a regular person so none of this is advice! Just reading what you experienced though.... it didn’t come across as failure to me at all... it came across as possibly fear or inability to trust. Both of those things are okay to feel also and are there to protect us in some situations. It felt like you have a tiny voice that maybe says “you don’t deserve” OR “if you trust this, then you will get hurt”. Maybe you have already explored this in the past year but it’s just other emotions to explore as a suggestion. You seem strong so just keep trying! Most of us are banging our heads against “brick walls” that are actually just our own selves! 🤗
@@LaurieLeeAnnie I responded to a year old thread... Curious how he is now... I'm not offended, just thought I'd let you know this is an old thread
Sounds Interesting and similar to some of John Bradshaws Books. I'm curious to know whether or not this theory views most of us who have experienced trauma, have adopted a dissociative disorder to some degree?
This is the first time hearing about this system. Sounds interesting. I found it because I designed a process that may be somewhat similar. I'm looking forward to learning more. Thanks for sharing!
I am interested to know more about your system also - I have done the same and have been testing it for the last 3 years. Please reach out if you would like to connect
Awesome. Yes, it's a super intuitive process, but revolutionary still! I've got a few videos on this and other topics like it.
Sr. Richard, me gustaría ver sus valiosos videos en español o bien con subtítulos en español. Gracias ❤
I am discovering IFS for the first time as I read the book The body keeps the score. I cant help but see similarities between talking to parts in IFS and the Jungian technique of active imagination.
Just getting started on this
Spot on Spot on Spot on!! Excellent
Wonderful video. Thank you so much.
Oh wow I can resonate with this through this 1 video alone I am looking forward to researching more about IFS. Healing is power!
I would love to hear if anyone who has used IFS has given eutaptics or faster EFT a try. It seems like Faster EFT bypasses getting permission from protectors and goes straight to trying to unburden and release the exiles wounds. Wondering if that can be helpful or dangerous. As someone with lots of references and strong protectors (stubborn) I have found IFS’s ways of getting permission and allowing for choices very helpful in getting the protectors to relax more. Most of them are just looking for recognition. It is still confusing to me at times, all the parts. Sometimes I can’t tell if the protectors are the wounds. I definitely have resistance so I do find the bypassing necessary at times, because otherwise I can get stuck with the protectors. They’re very rigid and long lived. So they need some shakeup it seems. But I don’t want it to be thru destructive means in my external life.
Genius. Quite influenced by the Focusing healing method and it's techniques.
How about fragments? I feel like a puzzle I am putting together for the whole picture. They are pieces of a Whole Self that was torn into fragments and we are picking Us up and putting us back together again. I have been blessed with 2 beautiful grand children and my daughter is the best mom I could ever ask for. We are absolutely born whole or Self would not exist. I am learning to love like no one. Thank you for your energy
And I like learning pains better than trauma
It's just a different terminology. They would be called parts in ifs, but you can do ifs an call them fragments or subpersonalities or whatever you want I think. In this method the unique thing is the focus om being in Self (or true Self, which never really changes, and are always really good) amongst other things.
When we shift, how do we stay that way? The work of it literally burns me out.
You may have a part that is becoming tired from the work and needs to be talked to. The part of you that is eager to heal for reasons x, y, z. Wanting to stay in a shifting space is sort of a form of impatience that you may be imposing on yourself. You like dont want to go back to an earlier state, but if you are patient, and learn to accept the regression, you may permanently change your shift over time:)
Really helpful video. Thanks a lot!
yay, I'm back after 2 years *just finished my 2nd year in uni)
Thank you, very good work and approach.
this is amazing! yes!! this is exactly what it is. thank god for u.
I have tried IFS with 2 different therapists. One of them is supposed to be the best in my region. I understand the concept, but it does not work for me in practice. First of all, I am not able to locate anger in my body. I don't feel anything different in my stomach or head. I don't see images or hear anything. There are no physical signs. Also, I can't have a conversation with a part. It has not happened once. I have gotten to the point where I make something up just to satisfy the therapist (and end the session), but it does not work for me.
Hey Jeff, as far as I understood from reading your comment, you are having a resistance. And it is alright. Your body is dissociating. It has a valid reason behind this. I am not telling you what kind of reasons that can be because it will be interpretations from my part and interpretations doesn't help that much with deep level therapies. You will have to find it yourself,experientially. Ask what is the worst thing that could happen if you get in touch with your bodily sensations or images. Dissociation happens when our unconscious mind believes if we get in touch with our traumatic feelings we will die or stuck there eternally. Have someone with you while doing this. A calm presence of someone gives the courage to face our emotions head on. You can try EMDR flash technique. You can research about Coherence Therapy. It is very effective dealing with resistances. Dissociation is difficult to deal with but not impossible. Don't get discouraged my friend. Have my best wishes for your healing journey.
Suvajit
Sounds like you had a bad therapist if you felt the need to satisfy them with responses. Not ur job to do that.
@@subhojit3165 Thank you so much for this nice reply. It is great to know there are some thoughtful, compassionate people out there. I've decided to try talking to my inner child ( parts? ) through journaling. So far if feels good when I do. Thanks again.
@@pod9363 I once had a therapist tell me that he felt he wasn't doing his job because I never cried. Kid you not. That was my last visit.
@@jcepri Which means he was trying to make you cry. Yea. Good call. Maybe crying isn't what you need from therapy. Sometimes all people need is clarity, or something else. That's not up to the therapist tho.
Oooohhhh I cant wait to get stuck in and study this !!!!! X
What are the similarities and differences between IFS and shadow work?
Dick would likely view the shadow as exile parts.
Ok teal swan. Shadows are our history our implicit un explained pain. It’s not really a shadow, it’s trauma.
All my parts are absolutely everywhere and just constantly fight with each other. I'm having a hard time getting them to cooperate when they very clearly don't want to. Seems like none of them do which is making my life very difficult. Not sure how to fix this.
wow. really good, simple, to the point talk. had a few "a-ha" moments...
I think I'm a family system in my head and it's so confusing. sometimes very soothing. I need more experienced doctors or therapists. The last year and a half when I'm seeking help it's just making everything worse. Hopefully this can help maybe, sounds very interesting.
I am wondering, Dr Schwartz is talking about taking the parts out of the scene they're in and take them to a safe place. Does anybody know what that looks like or can look like?
In a session it's up the parts to choose what that looks like... but to give you an example, I had two parts go and sit on a bench by a beach together. Less with Self but with each other. Similar idea though
WHat do you do if it doesn't work?
I've done 7/8 different therapies and they've all made me worse
I admit i haven't done ifs but i'm cautious of trying something else
When I feel angry and feel pain in my chest I have come out to state that is disappointment on the authority figures that I have relied upon and have let me down and mistreated me for their own benefit, amusement or just for fun.
Ty for explaining this.
❤ great video
I don't understand how this is different from many other approaches that honor various parts as used in psychosynthesis, transactional analysis, family systems as internalized and explored experientially? What am I missing?
Not different. Just one model of them.
The center of his work is helping clients form an alliance with their higher Selves to bring compassionate understanding to the rest of their systems.
Pretty much exactly the same in Psychosynthesis which has been around since mid-20th century... gestalt and other forms have these ideas too- of more than one part - but its folded in as one 'tool' rather than being a separate and only way of working it looks like.
In my view and experience it goes deeper and further than any of the predecessor models.
@@therapyoutsidethebox5466 that’s my take on it as well.
Does IFS therapy only apply to DID? Or other conditions such as PTSD?
I have complex ptsd. It's very useful for developmental trauma
He states a few times, having these parts is not multiplicity. That all humans with strong emotions / events in their lives have learned to have these parts to care for themselves.
@@britleblanc6000 sort of. He actually states that we’re all born with parts.
Thank you
So my bipolar tendencies are just different parts trying to protect me?
Crazy to think about
There is an undamaged me inside!! Who knew?
Ah....we're all broken and whole. God will make us more whole when we stop resisting and allow. Trust Him.
Anyone know the best way to find an IFS practitioner?
I've been reading the transcript alongside the video (which is fantastic of course! thank you so much for sharing these insights, which have already helped me a lot!) since I didn't get the piranha reference and there are some six or ten errors. Can I help you to correct them? That might be useful for listeners who are hearing impaired. I don't think I can do anything directly as the video is under your control. I can compile a list with corrections and post here if that would be useful. Thanks!
actually rather more than 10 of them!
Those are auto-generated, I believe, but it is possible to upload an entire set of subtitles.
I want to locate an IFS therapist in Texas or online I suppose will work for now. I’ve had several therapists quit or change jobs in the middle of my sessions all during the last 2 years and won’t go through that again, not so many. I have Medicare mad was in the e IFS site but if was so easy for me. I’d like some help please. Thank you.
didn't Jung have a multiples model with Complexes?
Yes. Jung believed that everybody had at least two personalities and that this is what internal conflicts come from.
Excellent interview, thanks. I wonder if Richard saw the Dali Lama French kissing a little boy on camera? I wonder what he thinks of that man now?
Genius❤
What do you do with parts that hurt your heart?
I wonder if Dr Schwartz new Dr Daniel Brown the Harvard Attachment Theory Psychotherapists? This has some similarities with the concepts revealed in Dzogchen and Buddhism it seems to me.
THANK YOU!
What if my parts don't talk to me, what should I do?
Pedro Silva what if you accepted the part of you that doesn’t want to talk. Acknowledged how busy they’ve been taking care of anyone saying too much.
@Pedro what would you be willing to do in order to earn the trust of that part?
Just keep trying. You’ve got to try not to think about the answer but to let the answer come up. It’s soemthing that you got to keep doing to get better and better at it.
That's actually quite common, and it's known as dissociation - when people feel "blocked" from accessing various parts of themselves. It's a protective mechanism of the subconscious that does not want you to go there. Thanks okay. Respect it. The subconscious/parts will never show you anything you're not ready to see. But keep developing a relationship with your parts by continuing to talk to them (even if they don't seem to want to talk to you) - a good way of doing this is instead of expecting them to "talk" back, shift your attention to bodily sensations, perhaps you might see colours or pictures or memories of your past - parts communicate in all kinds of forms. Also asking questions like: "what are you protecting me from?" or "what are you afraid of happening if you start talking to me?" can be helpful. Slow, deep breathing and relaxation during this process will help your subconscious/selves feel safer to come out and open up. Good luck!
My parts are giving your parts the silent treatment. :-) seriously, the same happens with me
I suspect that a kid until 4-5 years old and maybe later would have no issue relating with this model.
how is this different to DID, or OSDD??
Alex Cameron One answer I’ve heard from Dick Schwartz is that DID or those kind of labels that come from the DSM sees parts as a product of trauma, and somewhat pathologizes them. IFS says that everyone has parts. For someone who has trauma, it makes the parts take on extreme roles eg dissociation.
If you dissociate during session, the therapist does grounding, whereas in IFS if you dissociate, the therapist will try talking to that part, gaining its trust and releasing it from taking on that role for you, finding another role to do for you. Rather than getting rid of it.
if you know about the modern theory of evolution, complex systems, and/or the problems of philosophy, the idea that the self is not unitary is so obvious (once you hear it!). Our own cells' parts, even our own genes come from different sources and are in sometimes-uneasy alliances with each other. Our brain is not unitary or centralized, why would our mind be? Evolution seems very unlikely to ever build a complex system that is centrally focused or controlled
I'm curious, what are the ages of those watching this video?
24
35
18
28
31
Has anyone considered that tight knit groups of cells themselves may have a consciousness and that we are a team internally that functions as one? Lol reminds me of the Borg
I just have one part that says "this sounds like BS". I don't get how people "discover" these parts.
The Buddha statue hints at what all this comes from.
My OCD can’t get past the missing rivet on the chair to actually listen to what he’s saying 🤦♀️
Listen with eyes closed
Clark Jose Moore Eric Harris Kimberly
Sounds like a new take of Freud and Jung's ideas, repackaged.
Schwartz's work is their philosophy in practice.
uwu
Really guys, only God can solve our internal issues. Ask Him to help you. He surely wants to ❤️
So true. This is why I gave up psychology and becoming a family counselor.
Therapy can be a gift from God. Don’t just accept him, accepts his gifts too.
.
The tangible surgeon mechanistically stay because space tribally whisper off a marked wing. undesirable, chivalrous brick
This helps explain the rise of non trauma people turning up in all the (DiD) Dissociative Identity Disorder FaceBook groups. As someone who is diagnosed with DiD, and has huge amounts of trauma, this idea of multiplicity and plurality without trauma is horrible and deeply discounting for people like us. I think your way is over simplified and not okay for trauma survivors and indeed your work is very dangerous. I do not believe people with DiD should listen to you at all.
from this point of view, DID is an extreme case of fragmentation due to trauma, while 'normal' trauma results in less fractured system. so it's a spectrum. on the one end, someone fully integrated, on the other someone deeply fragmented (DID). it's not like one excludes the other.
@@n0e83 No you are completely wrong, that is not how DiD works at all.
Multiplicity happens to everyone. Its a mechanism of survival and everyone has traumas of some kind. Peter Levine's work is fantastic around this subject.
@Ach Of Stone I disagree. He's helping them meet themselves head on through the ability of accessing our Higher Self.
It a good point and anyone trained properly in any mode that works with parts (which has been around along time before this 'new' system') would not work in this way with DiD as it is likely to be unhelpful.
Sounds a bit airy fairy hippy
I know it makes since
That's called closed-mindedness. This type of therapy only works for those open-minded and willing enough to work through past trauma. It has benefited me greatly in just a couple of sessions already.