Change your Life in 3 Steps | Re-Write your Story through Narrative Identity - Shadé Zahrai

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 มิ.ย. 2024
  • What differentiates those who bounce back from hardship versus those who get stuck in a pit of despair? It often comes down to the story that they tell themselves about the situation.
    We construct our reality based on the stories we tell ourselves and others about our lives - it’s called ‘Narrative Identity’ (McAdams, 2018).
    People who believe their lives are meaningful tend to tell stories defined by growth, communion & hope - these are called ‘redemptive stories’. But those who aren’t able to move on and have ‘become’ their experiences tend to tell what’s called ‘contamination stories’, focussed on how difficult and tragic their lives are.
    Even making small story edits to our personal narratives has been found to have a huge impact on our lives.
    NOTE: This is not about trying to Ctrl + Z parts of your life. We’re not denying what’s happened to us, or trying to change the past - although sometimes that does seem far easier…
    What we ARE doing is changing the meaning we apply to events to change the story we tell. We’re redefining challenges as growth opportunities and finding hope in the despair.
    Because when you re-write your story, you upgrade your identity.
    When you upgrade your identity, you change your future.
    --------
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ความคิดเห็น • 392

  • @tovidominic3154
    @tovidominic3154 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    My take: The story we tell/narrate about ourselves of the past define our perspective on life itself. Choose to remember and narrate positive incidents of yourself and others connected with you . Thank you lady

  • @masiursenglish9130
    @masiursenglish9130 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    I am happy 100% with my life, though I don't have enough success to tell about, still I feel I didn’t do anything wrong to anybody in this world and could love everybody and could stublish myself at the same time as a singer and a teacher thus a youtuber.

  • @beckye8799
    @beckye8799 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    I needed this today! Exactly what my husband and I were discussing. I complain, compare, negative, beat myself up, play victim, no purpose. I want to stop. I want to just be happy!

  • @khalidben9940
    @khalidben9940 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    It is been an absolute pleasure having people like you with all this value.Thank you for the immense effort you put into this work.
    You are absolutely killing it and in top of that you give what really we want as individuals to understand and reshape our thinking.

    • @ShadeZahrai
      @ShadeZahrai  ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Thank you Khalid, we're so glad that the content is of value!

  • @kasondaleigh
    @kasondaleigh 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Whenever I feel like my life is punishing me, I just try to think of myself in comparison to other victims and I see how lucky I really am. I haven’t watched my children starve to death, I don’t have to walk a mile for clean water and I haven’t been forced into a refugee camp. Things could always be MUCH worse and somehow reminding myself that other people have much more challenging issues everyday helps me remain grateful.

  • @Men_After_Gods_Heart
    @Men_After_Gods_Heart 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Every person darkside ot trauma is the most strong n creative n untapped resource part of his emotions, if channeled in the right positive course...its very effective

  • @DrPatrickKingsep
    @DrPatrickKingsep ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Narrative Identity is a powerful resource for making life changes. We can all reflect on our self-talk and make changes if needed. Negative self talk can become a habit and we firstly need awareness to change it...

  • @Dryoussefaa
    @Dryoussefaa ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Wow so many new notions and technical words.
    I used to think I am a word warrior, but after listening to this, I have to start learning my vocabulary from scratch.
    I will take this lesson and spread it around me.
    Lady you are proving again that we never stop learning.
    Thank you.

    • @haroldpooler8452
      @haroldpooler8452 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yeah,I am the same way.I have a lot of pain in my left hip.

  • @AvecBella
    @AvecBella ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Going through a transition right now. This comes at a right time…♥️❤️♥️

  • @savedbyhisGrace7752
    @savedbyhisGrace7752 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I was very toxic, till I began to listen to helpful individuals like you.
    It's funny, we like to place ourselves as a victim,some times we do it to self or led ourselves into that very predicament and begin the stories.
    We all have had, failure, trauma, set backs. Instead of stepping back look from another set of eyes and beautiful mind.

  • @ak-kx5jl
    @ak-kx5jl ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Your videos are becoming so addictive. I listen to them everyday before going to bed and every morning once I wake up. This is more than something motivational. Your contents are awesome. You are a guiding stars for women like us out there. Thank you so much Shade 💓

  • @ashitshow1431
    @ashitshow1431 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This is exactly what i was needed this time ... I was feeling so low .. thinking I'm the most toxic person and i hurt everyone and want to relive everything to make things right ... but that's not how things work ... i can't relive but surely can rewrite my story in my head.... and use that for my growth ... I've learned alot and should feel take that as a win ... can't relate more to this ... Thank you for making my mind simpler an thoughtful

  • @kandarpjoshi2961
    @kandarpjoshi2961 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Beautifully conceptualized.... Ultimately it is "interpretation" That matters..... This video could be life changing for many... Big thanks to you for helping contaminated lives .... 👍

  • @friarpesel5646
    @friarpesel5646 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    A potentially painful concept, beautifully and gently delivered. Thank you 🙏

  • @rollandjoeseph
    @rollandjoeseph 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It really is about looking outside yourself, seeing it from a different angle and learning from it. It really can be an awakening imho

  • @rupachemudupathi9569
    @rupachemudupathi9569 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    We need to have our inner voice always active ! ! And self evaluation

  • @balraambalraam905
    @balraambalraam905 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I carry the attitude of gratitude with me every day the past is just a story we tell ourselves rarely do we think of the power we hold for ourselves as authors and narrator ❤

  • @kristinj6298
    @kristinj6298 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear. What was holding me back from believing I was worth more...everything. Re-write, re-frame and the future is renewed!

  • @adeebnasir6796
    @adeebnasir6796 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you Shade! Your assistance to the mental health of this world is truly the work of a light being!

  • @AWAYSOMEINDIAN
    @AWAYSOMEINDIAN ปีที่แล้ว +1

    WHEN YOUR BODY, MIND, SOUL SINK WITH ONE ANOTHER AND SPEAK ONE LANGUAGE. MAGIC STARTS.

  • @azerila89m
    @azerila89m 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    dear shade, thanks for your super useful contents. I don't know if you have a persian background or not since I see a persian name. but if you know about adversities we Iranians are dealing with in a dictatorship society, you definetely find it they leaded us to become a sad fighter in the road to growth.

  • @shoshininsights4592
    @shoshininsights4592 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Your contribution to our lives is really great.Hope you will meet Sadguru and grow even higher🙏

  • @dennydannyjosephdanny6628
    @dennydannyjosephdanny6628 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have post traumatic growth, It's craze how I am attracted to pain. this video helped me understand , Thank You

  • @popoduck8309
    @popoduck8309 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I am grateful for these nine minutes that I spend on this video. Ty Shade

  • @robat1725
    @robat1725 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I had experienced trauma, therapy, with my family, like 4 years, it's hard for me now, how i can trust to new people 😩. For me is like: i can't run away it you can't accept it.
    Can we talk privately with an email 🥺✉️ i would appreciate it, and be thankful.😍 your speech is very helpful for me

  • @michaelyeary828
    @michaelyeary828 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hmmm this is a hard one because typically I come out of the fire stronger but this recent time I feel different something dramatically changed I used to see the world through rosed colored glasses but now those glasses have been taken off and in away I’m grieving even though I still have hope
    (in my own weird way)I’m now seeing a more complex world then before and I’m realizing there’s just something’s that are out of my control.
    Thank you this was a great video, it got me thinking on how I tell myself who I am

  • @sathiarajkrishnamoorthy4888
    @sathiarajkrishnamoorthy4888 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for this! I will rewrite my story. The story of Captain Steve Rogers

  • @SR-um7kd
    @SR-um7kd ปีที่แล้ว

    Absolutely loved your theory and explanation

  • @minae1423
    @minae1423 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Shadé, a concept wonderfully delivered and broken down to it's core parts. 🙏

  • @priyaranjan1970
    @priyaranjan1970 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I coped with my severe trauma the same way as you explained. And it transformed my thinking.

  • @nazeemamuscat8479
    @nazeemamuscat8479 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I feel so previliged to find you. The precision in your presentation is awesome. Stay blessed for everything you do for unlifting us. Love you!❣️"The way we communicate with ourselves and others determine the quality of our life" Tony Robins, Unlimited Power

  • @issakhadra750
    @issakhadra750 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I strongly agree with your analysis thanks!

  • @PawanSharma-oi1vw
    @PawanSharma-oi1vw ปีที่แล้ว

    You nailed it. Thank you for sharing. Indebted to you for your clarity.

  • @ChallHatt
    @ChallHatt ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This video is like a treasure for every person who is on the path of self improvement. Changing the narrative can really redefine our whole life and how we perceive it. Shadè you are amazing.

  • @anitajulaniya1959
    @anitajulaniya1959 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Fantastic perspective. Thanks

  • @juliahna4988
    @juliahna4988 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you so much for this video. I feel like this is God’s touch for me to rewrite my story for the better. Thank you so much!!! ❤❤❤

  • @srishtikannaujiya2050
    @srishtikannaujiya2050 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Good one ma'am 👍🏻
    I came across this concept for the first time.

  • @jikandlela181
    @jikandlela181 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks Shade' - much appreciation from South Africa and Zimbabwe

    • @ShadeZahrai
      @ShadeZahrai  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You're welcome Jika. Beautiful part of the world!

  • @Connectingthedots.
    @Connectingthedots. ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love your channel. Thank you 😊
    The way you speak and put together videos is amazing ❤️

  • @lucky4armin
    @lucky4armin ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Aaaah, ummm. Hmm 🤔. Well, without seeming too dramatic or grandiose, I feel that this video gave me what I needed the most and at just the right time; 🙏🏽…

  • @pcadec980
    @pcadec980 ปีที่แล้ว

    Shade, your sayings are great and penetrate to the heart and mind. Really give lights

  • @priyaramdoo4762
    @priyaramdoo4762 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I had to watch this video again to rewrite my purpose again and keep working on my growth mindset

  • @vizzurd1
    @vizzurd1 ปีที่แล้ว

    Truly amazing .thank you

  • @alisonnorth7907
    @alisonnorth7907 ปีที่แล้ว

    I voted the most important person in TH-cam right now is this iron young lady kudos my mentor and all the very best

  • @sarahalishah5827
    @sarahalishah5827 ปีที่แล้ว

    Jazak Allah Shade’ for all kind words and precious advice to decontaminate one’s story ….every one will benefit from your knowledge ….stay blessed…❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @shashankemani1609
    @shashankemani1609 ปีที่แล้ว

    Accept you and accept reality coz accepting yourself is being real! Thanks for such a great information. 🙏🏻

  • @dr.jacobjesurunr.s.5783
    @dr.jacobjesurunr.s.5783 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you dear Shade for this amazing session! Lots to learn from this short yet highly impactful session! Thanks again.

  • @ariefmperkasa6815
    @ariefmperkasa6815 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    spot on, and more importantly it's timely for me! this differs constructive thinking, that allows further growth, from positive thinking, that tends to ignore what happens. many thanks Shadé

  • @brainnervespsychology41
    @brainnervespsychology41 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank You 💗Loved Your Very Informative Video.

  • @RishiMalviya10
    @RishiMalviya10 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thankyou !! This video is a voice of hope.

  • @rashidabaakza8554
    @rashidabaakza8554 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    💯 Agree 👍 to the re-write or re-author stories without contaminating and taking whole responsibility. But do not share with anyone cause most of the time people just interested in gossips or mess and hardly you find someone who really cares for you or your story. It’s bitter but true. 🫰
    So Just be positive, stay true to yourself, do good for others if you can and whatever you can. 🤞✌️

  • @priyaramdoo4762
    @priyaramdoo4762 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I really needed to listen to this again and again to remember to be postive and attract positivity..thank you 🙏

  • @tmkaber
    @tmkaber ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for the wonderful message

  • @donaflordeliez5584
    @donaflordeliez5584 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this video, so timely for me. More blessings!

  • @k.k3260
    @k.k3260 ปีที่แล้ว

    Perfect timeing of this video.... Thank you so many for such a nice learnings.

  • @RatishStha
    @RatishStha 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Your tone of narrating story is so powerful and so touching that anyone once watch your videos will for it. ..thank you for being so kind for making such a wonderful videos and helping people enriching the experience to live their life

  • @henrychang340
    @henrychang340 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    A VERY well thought-out and structured episode on changing the stories we tell ourselves to change our lives. I deeply believe in this for quite some time.
    This is incredibly valuable for people. Thank you for sharing and helping people change their lives for the better, Shadé Zahrai!

  • @rahulchauhan1597
    @rahulchauhan1597 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks for this. I am writing these question on my notebook and trying to evaluate and re-author my narrative.

  • @Vishalroksc
    @Vishalroksc ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I really appreciate your content Shade, you really did a great job by not only motivating people like me but, you also counsel and telling the meaning of live a happy life.
    Living Krishna you are❤️🙏

  • @user-uv7db9bx3h
    @user-uv7db9bx3h 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I was having trouble rewriting my story and your video helped me a lot. You helped to focus on how to do it correctly. Thank you❤

  • @chetankothmire6309
    @chetankothmire6309 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Shade you are truly changing Lives,No Words...
    Thank you from the Core of My Heart
    Your All Videos are Commendable & Thoughtful!
    Lots of Love & Keep up the Good Work!!!

  • @sushilsingh9264
    @sushilsingh9264 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It's been a pleasure listening to all that you have to teach us ... You make us learn from our own experience, a whole new perspective... Thanks a ton

  • @FIDA312
    @FIDA312 ปีที่แล้ว

    Excellent addition of lots of great advices

  • @sandrasaba8229
    @sandrasaba8229 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Shade 🌹

  • @mohammadajmal8734
    @mohammadajmal8734 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks Shade for life lesson you are my best motivational speaker

  • @gauravsinghbedi6536
    @gauravsinghbedi6536 ปีที่แล้ว

    Brilliant Insight Shade Zahari...God Bles You... Thank You Shade...

  • @sihembouaoud1813
    @sihembouaoud1813 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is beautifully crafted that you for these precious advices.

  • @parthahazarika4299
    @parthahazarika4299 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for this amazing experience you brought it and how any situation can bring about a positive life approach in dealing with bigger challenges and struggles

  • @ahmedjamalhumakani
    @ahmedjamalhumakani ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks a lot Shadé!
    This really makes sense.

  • @nikhilkumarsingh3637
    @nikhilkumarsingh3637 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks for the lovely advice! You explain like a life teacher. It's not how challenging our situations are, it's how we learn from it even if something one feels it's not upto the mark. I tend to perceive everything as negative because I try everything to do as perfect as possible, when that does not happen, I feel that others are better, I am not suitable for this. I should perceive it as a learning experience.

  • @pokerlovers3529
    @pokerlovers3529 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love and admire your thoughts, ma'am.

  • @meetshethable
    @meetshethable ปีที่แล้ว

    Such a wonderful video. We need more people like you on this earth seriously. Please keep posting more. God bless.

  • @monicakalil
    @monicakalil 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Excellent, Shadé! I love your contents.

  • @mpundee2442
    @mpundee2442 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm so grateful that I found your channel Shade. What you shared is so helpful as I'm practicing in my life now whatever is useful to me when I need it the most.
    Thank You 🙇

  • @shivakalaivs2989
    @shivakalaivs2989 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wonderful explanation and picture perfect ❤ thanks for sharing

  • @meeragangurde814
    @meeragangurde814 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this valuable information
    Thank you so much

  • @ShainaBajaj
    @ShainaBajaj 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks dear.....actually needed guidance on this topic...God bless you!!!!

  • @tanjimsaad7772
    @tanjimsaad7772 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow beautifully explained.

  • @Swift1756
    @Swift1756 ปีที่แล้ว

    Superb....Well defined...thanks

  • @blueberrycake2027
    @blueberrycake2027 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Shadé, what a great sharing you gave to us. Yes, it's right, what we narrate ourselves is important, it shapes our minds, being more positive, happy or depressed. Thanks for ur sharing.

  • @gaganupreti
    @gaganupreti ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks mam, to make all of us author of our life.

  • @garvsabbarwal3000
    @garvsabbarwal3000 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Shadé

  • @ericli2936
    @ericli2936 ปีที่แล้ว

    Im working on it. Thank you for doing these Videos. You are god send

  • @amadouourydiallo4830
    @amadouourydiallo4830 ปีที่แล้ว

    I live TH-cam and your channel!
    Thank you for the tips.

  • @niddhimotwani2963
    @niddhimotwani2963 ปีที่แล้ว

    The right content at the right time helps you work harder for a better you. Wonderful video.

  • @andrestherock1
    @andrestherock1 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for this video. This information is invaluable.

  • @fatmaramadan7992
    @fatmaramadan7992 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you from my deep heart , you enlighten the collective mind with great positivity ❤

  • @nileshshah2644
    @nileshshah2644 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very beautifully explained. I have heard this so many times from others. Haven't understood so deeply earlier. Grateful to you.

  • @dgsgsgsfh525
    @dgsgsgsfh525 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are unbelievably superb pack of knowlegde. What you deliver is awesome. Trust me, I needed to hear this video today Shade. Keep up with the work and I promise that I will pass this knowledge to the next required person. Keep up with this work plz. The world needs more of this or at least people like me need such videos a lot. In a world where there are almost never ending content, it is really good to see people like you making a geniune effort for mankind. I am very emotional and falling short of words to describe the gratitude towards you. Thanks again Shade!!!!!!!

  • @premakurale147
    @premakurale147 ปีที่แล้ว

    Loved the technique. This was important to get over setback.
    Will be revisit this video

  • @derejehamonagebremariamoff2612
    @derejehamonagebremariamoff2612 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love your message ❤️.

  • @mariam-de4nv
    @mariam-de4nv ปีที่แล้ว

    You are full of wisdom in your trade. I enjoy listening watching ur channel. Keep them
    Coming. Thanks you so much. More power to you. We need people like you to help people be better in facing life challenges and accomplishments. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @siddu9698
    @siddu9698 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Concept is crafted in another level... It's opportunity to re write our story and to have spark to our perspective... Simply superb

  • @shekhargupta6718
    @shekhargupta6718 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Your videos really work as booster dose to recycle my negative vibes into positive ones. You are blessed with immense knowledge and you keep sharing your thoughts so beautifully with us that one just keep longing for more to come .

  • @azmat3015
    @azmat3015 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Really This woman is inspiring to me and never forget seeing her video

  • @alic7277
    @alic7277 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Absolutely loved this ❤️

  • @dept.ofveterinaryphysiolog7585
    @dept.ofveterinaryphysiolog7585 ปีที่แล้ว

    you always doing fantastic video to watch.

  • @yasirali8158
    @yasirali8158 ปีที่แล้ว

    Miss you are outstanding. Thanks for this work. Please! Pray for Us.

  • @aguacatecreativo
    @aguacatecreativo 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Amazing! Thank you!!

  • @syednadirkazmi9778
    @syednadirkazmi9778 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Shade Zahrai, I was totally stucked before I start listening you. I was thinking why these things are happening with me? Why I have been through this? But, when I started to listen you now I am feeling more confident, back to track and progressing alhmdulilah. More power to you