21 Clues You're in a Dead-End Relationship (part 1) - Deborrah Cooper
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.พ. 2018
- Many women are terrified of being single and would rather settle for a man they aren't happy with, in a dead-end relationship than "be alone." Advice columnist Deborrah Cooper goes over the many reasons such a belief is self-defeating and hurtful in the long run. A dead-end relationship does nothing but waste a woman's youth, beauty, time and possibly her money as well on a situation that is headed to a crash and burn.
CONNECT WITH DEBORRAH COOPER
Twitter: @ / msheartbeat
Facebook: / deborrahxcooper
Relationships Blog: www.survivingdating.com
Black Vegan Blog: www.blacksgoingvegan.com
Natural Hair Blog: www.yournaturalhair.com
Amazon Author Page: www.amazon.com/Deborrah-Cooper...
RECOMMEND A MALE GUEST for HE SAID/SHE SAID
Complete form at goo.gl/forms/V2d3D5nDuxFr7Vdx2
HELP SUPPORT THIS CHANNEL
A one-time flat amount donation, or a monthly pledge of anywhere between $5-50 will help show your belief in the hard work Deborrah does for single women worldwide. Support the growth of the channel by doing your part to get new equipment and production assistance to make better videos for you!
Monthly Pledge: / deborrahcooper
One-Time Donation: www.paypal.me/deborrahcooper
~-~~-~~~-~~-~
Please watch: "Codependent Mother and Son Relationship Forces Husband to Say "It's Your Sorry Son or Me!"
• Codependent Mother and...
~-~~-~~~-~~-~
I'd rather be all by myself, ALL BY MYSELF.
Same here I feel so much more empowered about being by myself since I started watching debs videos. Shoot you cant get me to go out on a date these days not even if he paid for the dates....
1. Actor Boris Kodjoe (not sure of the spelling) has been married to his actor wife for a long time. Due to the success of their marriage, he was asked why he thought so many relationships didn't last. He stated that it was because women tend to marry men with "potential" instead of men who are READY. I can totally get behind that!! You see it all the time. I can understand college students in their twenties choosing men like that, because everyone, is just getting started. But you have women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s who choose men like that. By 30, men should at least be self sufficient. Instead of looking at the 35 year old that has "potential", why not look at the 35 year old man who has his s**t together? Once you are an adult, you should be looking for another adult, unless you don't want a serious relationship, or are immature yourself. 2. One thing you asked that REALLY got my attention was, "Why do women settle?" It brought to mind the video you did on insecure men. I think insecure women settle. I know all about Black culture and the "helping a brother out" mentality, but low self esteem people tend to have low standards (or no standards). I don't think it's always a willingness to "hold a brother down", either. Some women, no matter what their status is in life, don't believe they deserve better. I've listened to women talk, and some actually feel more comfortable with 'less than' when it comes to men. I just don't see confident women marrying men of lower status, or men who are mentally/physically abusive. If they do encounter them, they don't stay with them. This has nothing to do with what a woman has accomplished, her status in life, or the persona she presents to the world. It has to do with her sense of self. View of self can hinder positive choices in a mate. If a woman is not comfortable with choosing a man on her level, or higher, there could be tons of other reasons, but I'd question her sense of self worth. I think this is the point Ciara was trying to make when she said it wasn't until she leveled up and stop settling, that things got better for her. She was talking about how she saw herself.
Yes I talked about that nonsense a few vids back and last year in the Manipulative series. Nogs at 30 don't have potential. At 18 yes.
Sheri Townsend I agree wholehearedly
I agree and also like to add that majority of the single men over 30 who has their life together don't want to get married. Women settle by sharing these men and never getting a ring from them, which is just as sad. Self esteem does play a major part in both situations but society make it extremely hard for women to develop that IMO. A lot of women fear being "the single woman" that everyone act as if it's worst thing that can happen to a woman. As someone who absolutely refuse to settle or share and would proudly rather stay single, I have to admit it does take a lot of strength dealing with the judgment and criticism. I think another key issue with relationships not lasting is the "men will be men" mentality and the fact it's never addressed as an issue. Everyone tells women to choose better from a pool of men who has no integrity and who isn't held accountable for any of their actions. It seems nowadays the choice is settle or be single. But of course I'm not allowed an opinion because I'm just a miserable, bitter, lonely SINGLE woman according to most :)
Women settle due to the cognitive dissonance perpetuated by the Patriarchal system....
Preach, young lady!
What movie did that come from?
Ms. Debra. How come our mothers didn’t teach this
Well, there are many answers to that question.
#1 Moms can only teach what they know. If she doesn't know this info herself, it would be impossible for her to teach you. As noted, many women who are in their 40s come to my channel and learn, so I would guess that is the top reason.
#2 They are pick me types. Those type of women think that for their daughter to have a man is more important than her having a man who is great for her. They are the quantity not quality type of women. They would rather die than teach their daughter to be choosy with who she aligns herself with. These are the types of mothers who worry about their daughter having a boyfriend at 14, and giving her makeup, and telling her about what boys like and why she shouldn't do or say certain things because boys don't like it, or why she must do or be a certain way because that turns males on.
#3 She doesn't care enough to protect her daughter.
I know EXACTLY what she's talking about. That's why I took the trash out.🚮BYE!
Been there, done that and now I am finished...
Wow you are so right all this stuff has happen to me from this man I BEEN dating 11 months now I finally left him alone 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯✔
Thanks, I needed this. Just needed a kick to affirm that I am in a good place....😊
Great vid Ms. Deb. I enjoy watching you because you remind me of my late Granny SO much! Thank you for speaking the things that so many women need to know in order to be successful in relationships and in general.
About to crash and burn, shitz hilarious.
Love this
Sounds like narcissistic men control and manipulation tactics
I was reading part 2 looking for part 1
You are #1 truth speaker. Thanks for that. You give me insight I add l already felt but you reminded me what the hell an I still here?
He moved a sidechix in. I'm totally betrayed.
Aunty this wise thank u
Tell it thank you
What made me stay??
I say this with all love and I know it’s not gonna come off right at all. So I apologize in advance. Here goes… If you were to remove the intro to your videos, I’d be far more apt to listen and watch your videos. That introduction sent me running in the other direction because of the length of it and the sound of it. I think these days, people on TH-cam are just wanting the host of the TH-cam channel to get right into it with no intro. Again, I’m sorry if I’m not saying this as nicely as I could. I want you to succeed.
The Debruary programming is earmarked by not only a different thumbnail design theme every year, but a customized introduction. Most of my viewers are sad that I cannot, due to health reasons, do the video a day programming anymore... just don't have the stamina. You are the first person out of hundreds of thousands to complain about an intro that you can easily fast forward though. So I'm not understanding the point of your post.