Yes! You are absolutely right. The standards for manhood in the Black community are notoriously low...so much so that I no longer consider Black men in my dating pool. I have no desire to search for a needle in a haystack.
On dating sites I see a lot of men post as their summary ,"single/no kids/ never married". I am immediately turned off by that because that tells me some things about this man. 1) I only meet men in their mid 30s to late 40s. If he has not been married by then, he has a problem with commitment considering the many women looking for marriage. It is not the same for women at that age. He is more than likely the type of man who has women in rotation or he spent his younger years in jail. 2) He is a man who believes all he has to be to be qualified as a good man is single/no kids/never married. He most likely feel that is every reason for women to fall at his feet and honesty, faithfulness, and genuine love does not matter. He feels he is the cream of the crop for that and wants women to prove their worthiness. He wants a woman who will chase after him, join the 10 other women and have sex with him without commitment, maybe give him money to buy him, and never complain about anything he does and just go with the flow. 3) Because of 1 and 2, he is the type that sleeps with many women on the regular basis. More than likely he really does have kids but he just does not claim or support them. He views having a child as something that would hold him back from getting women, so he most likely is the type that would say "it ain't mine" and disappear as soon as a woman tells him she is pregnant by him. A man who does not claim and support his own kids is a huge turnoff.
Yassss! Especially at # 2, Some of these men think they should get a trophy just for being a responsible adult. I'm like Negro sit down, aint no awards for that. Lol! Shows you just how low the standards are set for Black men especially.
Hmm... I remember one time my (now) ex asked me to pay his light bill because it got shut off...nooooope....then was bragging about a $300 jacket. BOY BYE
Even worse, Judge Judy goes off big time on women who come to court to be reimbursed after paying their boyfriend's child support, sometimes even covering their bail and court costs for non-payment of child support. Of course, Prince Charming always promises to pay her back, just before he does the fade. smh.
This needs to be shared with all black girls, teen girls, young women, all of us!!! Yessss Auntie!!! Yesss! I Thank God for letting me see these exact things you are talking about before I walked down the aisle. My parents, sad to say, kinda taught me that a “basic man” should do. No! No! No! I enjoy my own company enough. If you want to be in my life, you need to bring your own table and something to put on both our tables. Sooo many things you said in this video reflect my last relationship/engagement. I didn’t know what to call it, but he was so basic and content. I almost feel like he just wanted another Moma and I was playing the husband role. I feel like this is a topic that needs to be shared in our community immediately!!! I think too many of us look for basic and too many people are raising basic. Maybe that has something to do with the rise in single motherhood?? Seems like black men, gay or straight, are looking for Moma’s and/or husbands like their Moma was. Ijs... Thanks for this video.
I used to be friends with this guy who I was involved with in college. He claims this same story about women want thugs. He’s 40 has had several girlfriends, longest relationship 3, years and never married, no kids. But he blames women still for everything that goes wrong. He’s never did a woman wrong according to him. In addition, he still accusing me of cheating on him in college because this random guy looked at me and I looked back supposedly giving the guy “bedroom eyes”. I’m told him I didn’t know that guy and never was with him. He still says I was wrong. This was 20 years ago! I don’t even remember what he’s talking about! I’ve been married and had kids since then and he brings up this foolishness? I deleted his number and have not spoke to him since.
The bw before us were the main ones that taught their daughters to be "flattered" that these basic bm want to even "breathe" in our direction. I'm so glad the tide is now turning and these young black girls now have options because of videos like yours and some of the other bw here on yt.
OMG, you nailed it. That's what frustrates me about the BC's mentality when it comes to BM. The standards we set for them are too low. We keep making excuses for them, then wonder why we get what we get. It reminds me of that Chris Rock joke of a man bragging that he takes care of his kids, and Chris Rock explaining to him that that's what he' suppose to do.That's why I'm not impressed with men who say how good they are, or A\O who brags about how good\great they are. Really good people never have to toot their own horn. Others will be out there tooting it for them. Contrary to what most of these men say, I have found that most women know a REALLY good man when they see one They gravitate towards them. These are the first men to get married, because they believe in commitment. These men who are saying that BW don't like good men, like the kind of women who likes thugs. Now, what kind of woman is that?Hopefully the BC will teach its daughters\sons what you're teaching.
You know it's so bad! I started dating last year and noticed that a lot of BM have no shame! They expect BW to accept them in any old kind of position. I met two and when talking on the phone they both practically told me their whole life story which I realized was really nothing more than an overture of what was to come...you know it would explain why at 50+ they don't have sh!t and I'm supposed to feel sorry for this "good black man" done wrong by his ex wife and the mean world and let him move in with me so we can build together 😐 sorry dudes but building together is for couples in their twenties not no mature man and woman. If you get married then divorced rebuild yourself, stop trying to get women to be with you on a dream and a promise. No thank you! Those fools were telling me all their business and all I was doing was making a mental note to conclude whether or not he was a winner or looser. No QUALITY woman is interested in helping build up no grown azz mature man! I think not! Delete and block!
All FHAB oh I met a guy at the gym who was in his early forties, living in someone's couch and no car and told me that he was looking for a friend and wanted me to pick him up to go to lunch. It was a few years ago in Mlk day, and I wanted to say to him, " I can think of three things that you need to look for before looking for a "friend" , but it was MLK day and I know that Dr. king wouldn't want me to break a brother down. I just walked to my Mercedes , drove away and didn't give him a second thought.
They can't give you the emotional connection you need to have a RELATIONship. They can't relate and put themselves on a throne. Anything short of worship and they whine
Good info. I've been saying lately that the standard for men is very low. I was told to lower my standards and not expect too much from a guy by men who admit that I am an atypical and desirable woman. Crazy!
exactly! Not to mention bad hygiene & only wants to live a very basic life & live on a shoestring budget while they cheat & confused about their sexuality.
PrincessAmandaTV Dudes fail to even drop any HUMOR. They should ... considering they’re so meh. Basically they lack communication and social skills and their LACK of effort is evident.
@@davidcadogandc I can pay my own quite easily, but why should I? If a man is using my body for his pleasure, best believe he will be financially providing for me. No 50/50 crap either.
That’s what’s so tricky about these “good/nice men”…..they could be basic but abusive…paying bills, going to church but an undercover liar and cheater…he could be in your face with all the “good” crap but be a toxic boyfriend/husband/father to the kids. It’s just not it.
Instead of going to church, I listen to Deb. Real life guidance for real. I was on my way home from visiting my fiance and ran into this guy. He appeared to at least be late 40s. He said I can't find a good looking single woman. He said that he is decent looking, has a job and is a good man. All I could think of is nigga you are BASIC. Smh. One other trait that I've come to appreciate is someone that isn't judgemental. I have had mental health issues my entire life and I have had treatment and meds for them. If i have a panic attack I can't be with a man that will tell me something stupid like get over it. My fiance just gets it. He soothes me and makes the pain easier to bare.
Yes I understand. When I was raped 20 years ago some things traumatized me during sex. My ex used to say get over with that's old. My new guy he gets me and understands. He says it's ok I don't have to do things I'm not comfortable with. Not well u gotta get over it. U gotta please your man etc. So sad. Glad that loser is gone! Happy u met a great guy!
Because my first marriage was such a mess. All I wanted was a basic man. Forgetting that everything I look for in my mate I should still be looking for. Thank you for reminding me not to settle for average. It's great if your man has all the basic necessities of life but if he treats you like something on the bottom of his shoe you still got the game twisted. The same men complaining don't know how to treat nobody, don't know how to talk to nobody and still can't figure out why they are by themselves!
+Shannon Teamer I been around since the early 1990s (I was on AOL's NetNoir channel). Not sure how old u are, but I do know TH-cam hadn't been invented yet! LOLOL
the loyalty issue is rampant among blacks. people hardly ever stand up to their family, you're expected to put up with it in order to prove how "good" you are. I believe some of them enjoy watching you be harrassed by family members. They'll always expect you to "understand because that's my (mom, aunt, etc.)." It's sad but it's true, it's almost a silent ridiculous requirement that you put up with familial abuse. And don't tell the family you're getting married, they really pile it on then.
+Iroc314072 I went off on an ex fiancee momma one time. And his cousin another time. He sided with the cousin so I threw them both out. After that I told him to fuck off forever and gave him back that Zales ring. FOH
I saw the title for this video and said to myself, "Ms. Deborrah's about to GO IN!" Lol. I think, sadly, the pool of decent men seems soooo small that sometimes even the basic stuff seems like a blessing. But you have opened my eyes to a lot. It's not enough to just be a functioning adult...I hope the fellas are listening to this one so they can stop bragging about being a big boy lol
Because it's easier. They want to feel good about themselves with as little effort as possible. I mean, think about how they would feel comparing themselves to Robert Johnson or Barack Obama or Jerry Rice or somebody. They would come up so short they would be knee high to a roach!
A lot of us don't have to much We can take solace in the fact that we don't live on the streets and eat stuff from the garbage can We strive to be better But we can't do that without self esteem
Great video! so poignant I want to share this with my teens (with a maturity disclaimer of course, LOL!) And not just my daughter. my sons also need to hear this. They don't understand why I want to put my boot in their rear when I hear the word thot. It's so damn disrespectful. Thank you for this.
I am a new listener to your videos and I must say you are a very intelligent person. I see that some men get caught up with the words (basic) and miss the message. Keep doing this work for it is sorely needed in our community. Sometimes our behavior needs to be confronted.
Great analysis, Deborah! I wish more women would see relationships and marriage from this perspective. It would significantly cut down on our 70% women-led divorce filings.
No, it's not comical. It means she is formulating her list of desirable traits and qualities in her mate. The true problem is when women date without any firm idea of the type of guy that would meet their needs - morals, values, educationally, intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, physically, sexually. All of those are important things if you are talking about being with someone for 20+ years and being happy with the growth and direction of your relationship! The foolish are the ones who go out without a plan and just accept any dustmite that rolls into their life. If you don't plan to succeed by eliminating those who are not on your level and won't meet your needs, then a woman is just wasting her time and energy. So I don't know why you think that is "funny" because it's not. Reframe your thinking.
A good workout program is 3 days per week, 1 hour per day. Men can take walks with their wives, or run with the dog, or bike with the kids for exercise on the other days for cardio and do both. There is no reason for a man to "stay in the gym" to have a great body. I can tell you never worked out in your life because you have no clue about weight training. lolol
@@ojivey8273 What's the matter Boo? Mad 😠 because you don't measure up? I often find that men who are angry about women's standards are always the ones that can't meet them.
I think it's "entertaining" that black men want a woman who is physically in shape and looks like a 10, when 90% of American black men are no more than a 5, obese, sloppy, ugly as fuck in the face, abusive, have a bad attitude, no job, no house of their own, no future, a criminal record, use drugs, drunkards, multiple baby mommas, can't screw, play video games or troll women online all day, and spend so much time gobbling Popeye's chicken and greasy burgers, like it is worth a drink on the house. Then he wonders why he is 45 and still living with his grandmom, had ED, high blood pressure, kidney failure, and is swollen and puffy from heart disease fluid retention. No money, ugly AF, lazy, stupid, f'd up attitude, and bad health. AND thinks someone should want him.
My uncle was a womanizer and I though that was what I was suppose to do, but I couldn't even do that, to this day, I don't know how he get all them women in bed.
PLEASE MAKE A PODCAST!!! Upload these videos to your podcast. You don’t even need to make new content. I wanna listen to this as I’m driving and cleaning without using TH-cam!!!
@@Debsterism of course they do obviously but the more perfect a man is and his options the more likely he is to cheat is what I am saying, men who are in the top percent cheat by far more than average men and bums.
The basics, I actually think that is a great foundation to build to the advanced in anything. How can you even be a good catch if you don't at least have that in order first? Excel beyond the basics sure but have the things all of us can agree upon before we go further. I may be great at some things that just are not important to you but someone else may be dying to meet. Keep it moving and happy hunting.
Exactly. The guys I'm talking about are at basic or below, but want to act like they are stellar humans worthy of rounds and rounds of applause and a parade.
Lol, you are so funny about it all 😁 It's so cringe when a women compliments you on being basic, like making contact with someone from a different planet.
I understand in your mind that the man is supposed to be a financial benefit…supportive a cheerleader helpful…patient kind good penis dependable outgoing humble hardworking a protector physically fit educated constantly reminding you how special you are through words and actions…romance you understandings his purpose…respect all women… honest cares about your interests …confident selfless…have a sense of humor faithful family oriented loyal…Great list!! But I’m curious what exactly is expected from a woman in the relationship other than sex? And I ask that question with sincerity
You got a loooooong list of stuff. Glad you introduced it. I call it a refresher course of some stuff that dudes will inadvertently put on the back burner.
but that is just it...a certain segment of our women are choosing the people on "the bottom" in other words, BELOW basic brothers so the basic dude is looking like, "well damn, you chose that do nothing dude but at least I have a job, no kids, and no drama...meanwhile homegirl is giving the neighborhood nobody n!&&@$ play...it just don't make any sense...I see it all the time... but everything else I was listening to sounds on point...as the end of the day like you said, the women ultimately is the one who chooses...
You didn't, that knucklehead clownass fool you were engaged with did. I suggest if you want to try to pretend to have a conversation with someone that you brought here that you run a tighter game. All comments here are held for review by either me or my cousin. Nothing goes live until we see it. So all your little stupid antics were for naught. They went into the garbage disposal. The comments you made that didn't cross the line were allowed to go live. That's how this channel rolls. Commenting here is a privilege, not a right.
Tiki Thompson I hear ya. It is just sad because I feel the black family can't exist w/o the black man and black women...things are not looking too good...
everything you just named are basic characteristics of what you look for in a man! a lot women simply moved away from looking for those things that man is suppose to have. this attitude that most women have when it comes down to what they're looking for in a man they don't possess themselves relationships are not one-sided it takes two and if you're both or not in it to build together then it is pointless. what ever happened to take care of each other some of us seem to have missed that. it shouldn't be about what I could do for you or what you can do for me it should be about what can we do for each other! just tired our people fighting each other for the entertainment of others
Yawn. Women are not supposed to offer the same things that men do. WHere they do that at? What is all this excuse making you all are doing to try to get men off the hook talking about what WOMEN should be doing instead of sticking to the subject matter of this video which is about MEN and their failures. Stick to the subject. Luckily this comment is old. The new me would have deleted it for being off topic.
Wow 3 years to reply to a comment? And still you think that men are the only problem sad! I was just voicing my opinion on what I see. But I don't expect people who are not married to understand
She is right but the the problem is people need to be compatible. There more basic women and men out there then the exceptional. So she is correct you strive for more. But take a go look at yourself first. In dont lie to yourself ask what bad habits you have and how can you change. What men you like and there characteristics and do they match up to what you want. As for income we live in a two income society. If you making a 100k as a cop or something in government. You paying dues and insurance you may only take home 5000. So you got pay for a mortgage 1200, utilities 1000, cars 1000, food 650, gas 800 ( got drive kids to practice / school) to work from work, family trips atleast twice a year???, extras gifts just because, hair and nails done, tutors for the kids and you may want a private school to better there education and network $$??. This is the upperclass lifestyle with a women not working right? Even if you go 60 thousand as a government worker. I say government worker because most black ppl who have some type of money work in some form of government job ie welfare clerk, cop, fireman, teacher and etc. SO 60k is 1400 every two weeks after union dues, benefits and retirement money are taken out. So you get a modest house for 150k thats about 900 a month, utilities you trying save no cable tv and turning lights no AC putting the heat on 65 so you paying 300 or with comfortable heat and cable 650, gas doesnt change 800, she cooking all the meals 400, you got all cars no benz so no car note, and no family trip. Yea you making it but who want live off one salary like this ?? I mean you can make it in the hood but why you want work that hard to not enjoy anything. I be miserable not having any money working while my college educated women is staying at home asking me to make her laught , keep in shape and wash a dish thats crazy. Whos going sign up for that? After world war 2 and white women joined thw workforce we became a two income nation and women rights was addressed. Black women has always worked. Black men has always been cheered on for being socially deviant. Because we had to be to survive . If you read the phila negro be W.E.B Dubious he described how we couldnt get jobs because of the labor unions wouldnt hire black men. Now we are able to getr jobs they just make alot harder and most men are still be applauded for being social deviants. In being social deviant hurts your chances of getting a job. But we applaud that and look at the square dude as a sucker til we get older. But by then the social deviant swag is imprinted on us. Listening to trap music. So if you want a basic dude or chick and be somewhat happy go forward that maybe for you! Work yall 40 hr jobs go home and sex each other like crazy and love each other. Let that perfect fantasy of women with perfect edges big butt and c cup breast who smart sexy and respectful go everybody cant get she only for exceptional brothers. You can get the same chick minus knowing how to cook and being respectful lol. In women pick your battles
Me Smdh. Who said the educated woman wasn’t going to work and that she would wait for you to get home just to “entertain” her? Choose a woman with the characteristics Deb says we should look for in a man and you won’t have that problem. Providing the basics isn’t enough anymore. Choose an equal.
I'm a black man. I came upon this channel when I was researching something for my daughter who is in college. I don't know where these messed up men are that you're referring to. My grandparents were married for 63 years. My parents are still married, going on 57 years. I've been married for 26 years. I think my wife is still hot today as when I met her in college. I've never cheated on her. I never felt the need. I don't think my conscience would let me. I respect and value her too much. We raised 2 beautiful and responsible kids, 1 son attending law school and 1 daughter in college. Growing up, I never saw my father raise his voice at my mom--same for my grandfather with my grandmother. Neither my father nor my grandfather had any kids outside. They respected and valued one another. If what you say is what young black people have to deal with nowadays, I feel so sorry for them (men and women). If they're out there, and I believe you when you say they are, I do hope they stay the hell away from my daughter. On the other hand, I also know for a fact, there are many decent young black men who were raised right, who would make wonderful boyfriends, husbands, and life partners. Maybe you haven't meant them yet. They're out there (I know plenty of them from decent, hard working families). Many of them who grew up with my kids.
Spoken like a true narcissist who cannot see the world beyond himself. THis is a big world with BILLIONS of people on it sir. Obviously you haven't noticed that. Not everyone is YOU. Not everyone is related to YOU. Not everyone is married to YOU. That's great that your parents and grandparents are still married - seeing the divorce rate in the world obviously that isn't the case with millions of couples. You think your wife is still hot - obviously lots of men do not judging by how their wives leave them and are verbally and emotionally abused by them before they go with a broken heart. You have never cheated on your wife and that's fabulous - obviously you are not amongst the men online looking to cheat, advertising on Craigslist for booty, visiting prostitutes, and trolling for extracurricular booty on social media. I am glad that you respect and value her and that is the type of husband a woman wants. I am happy for her. Unfortunately that isn't the case for far too many women around the world, not just in the United States. So for you to flatly say "I don't know where these messed up men that you are referring to are" implies that you have your head up your ass, never read a book or magazine or newspaper or news website or rsearch studies, never watch the news of violence of women and girls raped and murdered. You don't "know" anything with all those sources of knowledge and information right in your face??? I think you are being willfully obtuse and intentionally argumentative. You have come to the wrong channel for that. I deal with facts here, not people's imaginations and magical thinking. Reality is right on Google. Use it. Educate yourself. ANd never again attempt to dismiss women's reality with some bullshit ass statement such as the one you made above.
Technically both men and women are from dust and return to dust we came into the world naked and we leave naked. As the say at funerals ashes to ashes to so we all are animated dusties.
@@Debsterism Ma'am when the body decomposes it eventually turns to dust. If you don't believe in God then look at the scientific evidence we all return to therefore even the best of us is animated or .
Maybe. Depends. Some of these guys perceive themselves to be "good" and they aren't even at basic level! Still living with their momma and sponging off her.. Bus pass no car, sponging rides off friends and family members. Etc.
Deborrah Cooper I dated this one guy bout five years ago who was 15 year's older than me, but if he won't the most basic ass nigga I EVER met! Every month he would make it a point to tell me he paid his rent. This was a downgrade for me because I had just dated a homeowner before him. Yeah I dumped him because he was just to stupid.
Hmm, supportive, protective, treats others well, intelligent... these actually are basic things to demand from a person in any relationship, not just romantic. You described a good person who isn't an idiot, a narcissist, selfish, pretentious, or in essence, a schmuck. I suppose it depends on what and with whom one surrounds themselves and knowing one's self worth as to what one deems acceptable.
@@amiller9628 so true! These dudes are okay as friends but bad as partners. Like my best male friend is sweet but he sucks as a boy friend. My ex is nice as a friend and my ex for very good reason.
So are the ones who claim to be God fearing. They are ALL shitty because they all think they are superior to women. The God ones are the worst, because they throw the bible at you for justification of their narcissism and sociopathy. Men don't really believe in anything but themselves - they just play that God and Jesus game to (a) get women or (b) get money. Don't ever believe a man who says he believes in God. He is lying.
Deborrah Cooper I respect that answer but could it be that those men are carnal, "religious practicing" men...God knows the heart of man...they can fool no one and God handles them accordingly but a man that is walking in the righteous word of God is a good man and doesn't have to do anything to demean or make a woman feel any way but loved and respected. It's the self righteous woman that feels conviction when dealing with a true God-fearing man.
Aki Scott those are the absolute worse. I want a man that can think for his damn self and has respect for me as his equal. A man that doesn't need fairytales to govern himself.
I'm sorry Miss Cooper but I must say I somewhat disagree here. This is a classic case of a distorted view of what's considered a "good catch" or looking at a "basic" man as a bad thing. It's not where he's at its where he might end up. But lets break this down. Are we talking about young women?Let's face it. You're not gonna meet very many young men of any race making 6 figures or more. Older women? I'd agree. A middle aged man should be in a situation where he owns a home, has a good job etc. But what about her situation? Look at this from a man's standpoint Does she have kids? Could she stand to loose a few pounds? What's her credit like? This goes both ways. And let's face it, At 35, even if your are pretty, in good shape with no kids, you are now competing with younger women for the men that you deem better than basic. And be honest, you have a successful man making above 6 figures and meets all the criteria you laid out, who's he going for? The mid 30s woman with no kids? Or the early to mid 20s woman with no kids. I'm not totally disagreeing with you Miss Cooper, but I think you're taking a shallow view on this topic.
You advocate that a woman bank on "potential" which I never do. By the time an adult male has reached the age of 25, he is already demonstrating where he is going in life. EIther he is on the fast track to making his dreams a reality (like in school, finishing his doctorate, getting promotion after promotion in corporate America, has his business plan ready and is getting his funds together, etc.). There should be tangible confirmable evidence that he is working his program. But you got some clown sitting on the couch bumping his gums and hasn't DONE anything? Hell naw, no basic fuckers should be given the time of day. Especially if a woman is on her grind and doing her best, she deserves a partner putting forth at least the same amount of effort towards greatness.
"I'm not totally disagreeing with you Miss Cooper, but I think you're taking a shallow view on this topic." What a total hypocrite. You say Miss Cooper is shallow, yet you name shallow reasons that a black women should be dismissed for being a potential mate. Age, weight, kids, .. Plenty men marry women in their 30's with kids and not model slime all of the time. It seems you are the one with your head stuck in fantasy land and could be missing a potential good woman because you are shallow. Yall knuckleheads have no idea for what makes a successful relationship/marriage. Y'all all want the video girls thinking you got a prize based on superficial reasons.
It’s unfortunate that some don’t even possess vital life skills. But expect women to do and know everything.
OMG if have to hear another man telling me how good he is imma scream LOL!
GIRLLLLLLLLLLL!!!! You ain't NEVA lied. Usually when they say that I walk the fuck off. Mid sentence.
sugarBaby they say that mess because they need convincing, they know they ain't $hit!
LMAO, Ms. Deborah!!! Mid sentence. My SHEro!
Yes! You are absolutely right. The standards for manhood in the Black community are notoriously low...so much so that I no longer consider Black men in my dating pool. I have no desire to search for a needle in a haystack.
On dating sites I see a lot of men post as their summary ,"single/no kids/ never married". I am immediately turned off by that because that tells me some things about this man.
1) I only meet men in their mid 30s to late 40s. If he has not been married by then, he has a problem with commitment considering the many women looking for marriage. It is not the same for women at that age. He is more than likely the type of man who has women in rotation or he spent his younger years in jail.
2) He is a man who believes all he has to be to be qualified as a good man is single/no kids/never married. He most likely feel that is every reason for women to fall at his feet and honesty, faithfulness, and genuine love does not matter. He feels he is the cream of the crop for that and wants women to prove their worthiness. He wants a woman who will chase after him, join the 10 other women and have sex with him without commitment, maybe give him money to buy him, and never complain about anything he does and just go with the flow.
3) Because of 1 and 2, he is the type that sleeps with many women on the regular basis. More than likely he really does have kids but he just does not claim or support them. He views having a child as something that would hold him back from getting women, so he most likely is the type that would say "it ain't mine" and disappear as soon as a woman tells him she is pregnant by him. A man who does not claim and support his own kids is a huge turnoff.
Yassss! Especially at # 2, Some of these men think they should get a trophy just for being a responsible adult. I'm like Negro sit down, aint no awards for that. Lol! Shows you just how low the standards are set for Black men especially.
Love Lee 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Grading men on a curve...stop it!!!!
Yes...women have the right to CHOOSE....
They really resent that Black women dare to have standards....
Hmm... I remember one time my (now) ex asked me to pay his light bill because it got shut off...nooooope....then was bragging about a $300 jacket. BOY BYE
Even worse, Judge Judy goes off big time on women who come to court to be reimbursed after paying their boyfriend's child support, sometimes even covering their bail and court costs for non-payment of child support. Of course, Prince Charming always promises to pay her back, just before he does the fade. smh.
Jackie M oh hell no!
This needs to be shared with all black girls, teen girls, young women, all of us!!!
Yessss Auntie!!! Yesss!
I Thank God for letting me see these exact things you are talking about before I walked down the aisle. My parents, sad to say, kinda taught me that a “basic man” should do.
No! No! No! I enjoy my own company enough. If you want to be in my life, you need to bring your own table and something to put on both our tables. Sooo many things you said in this video reflect my last relationship/engagement. I didn’t know what to call it, but he was so basic and content. I almost feel like he just wanted another Moma and I was playing the husband role.
I feel like this is a topic that needs to be shared in our community immediately!!! I think too many of us look for basic and too many people are raising basic. Maybe that has something to do with the rise in single motherhood?? Seems like black men, gay or straight, are looking for Moma’s and/or husbands like their Moma was. Ijs...
Thanks for this video.
when I hear some man say " I'm a good man..." I run. if you a good man you don't have to tell me I will know and SEE it. gtfohwtbs...😒😒
Shunya' C. Exactly! All of the guys I've met who said that, were the worst in quality.
Gaslighting...
I hear this silly mess so much. Wanting credit for doing required tasks.
" Hey I am a good guy, I am not living under a bridge and I work at McDonald's...that should be enough for you right?" Yeah no.... 😆
I used to be friends with this guy who I was involved with in college. He claims this same story about women want thugs. He’s 40 has had several girlfriends, longest relationship 3, years and never married, no kids. But he blames women still for everything that goes wrong. He’s never did a woman wrong according to him. In addition, he still accusing me of cheating on him in college because this random guy looked at me and I looked back supposedly giving the guy “bedroom eyes”. I’m told him I didn’t know that guy and never was with him. He still says I was wrong. This was 20 years ago! I don’t even remember what he’s talking about! I’ve been married and had kids since then and he brings up this foolishness? I deleted his number and have not spoke to him since.
You fuck me up with laughter. Lolololol, I have a car. You said, I do too, see? LOLOLOLOL
Dee Dee, you are killing me!!!! lololol
That part got me too
Exactly, even some of the good guys are lazy, effortless, and the best way I’ve heard it: clowns smh lol.
Aariyan096 yes exactly
Precisely alot of BM don't know how to court or persue a woman.
What would you consider an effortless man? I'm very curious about your view on this.
The bw before us were the main ones that taught their daughters to be "flattered" that these basic bm want to even "breathe" in our direction.
I'm so glad the tide is now turning and these young black girls now have options because of videos like yours and some of the other bw here on yt.
OMG, you nailed it. That's what frustrates me about the BC's mentality when it comes to BM. The standards we set for them are too low. We keep making excuses for them, then wonder why we get what we get. It reminds me of that Chris Rock joke of a man bragging that he takes care of his kids, and Chris Rock explaining to him that that's what he' suppose to do.That's why I'm not impressed with men who say how good they are, or A\O who brags about how good\great they are. Really good people never have to toot their own horn. Others will be out there tooting it for them. Contrary to what most of these men say, I have found that most women know a REALLY good man when they see one They gravitate towards them. These are the first men to get married, because they believe in commitment. These men who are saying that BW don't like good men, like the kind of women who likes thugs. Now, what kind of woman is that?Hopefully the BC will teach its daughters\sons what you're teaching.
An old school man ince said
"If you settle for a piece of a man, that's all you’ll get".
I never forgot that!
You know it's so bad! I started dating last year and noticed that a lot of BM have no shame! They expect BW to accept them in any old kind of position. I met two and when talking on the phone they both practically told me their whole life story which I realized was really nothing more than an overture of what was to come...you know it would explain why at 50+ they don't have sh!t and I'm supposed to feel sorry for this "good black man" done wrong by his ex wife and the mean world and let him move in with me so we can build together 😐 sorry dudes but building together is for couples in their twenties not no mature man and woman. If you get married then divorced rebuild yourself, stop trying to get women to be with you on a dream and a promise. No thank you! Those fools were telling me all their business and all I was doing was making a mental note to conclude whether or not he was a winner or looser. No QUALITY woman is interested in helping build up no grown azz mature man! I think not! Delete and block!
Agreed
All FHAB oh I met a guy at the gym who was in his early forties, living in someone's couch and no car and told me that he was looking for a friend and wanted me to pick him up to go to lunch. It was a few years ago in Mlk day, and I wanted to say to him, " I can think of three things that you need to look for before looking for a "friend" , but it was MLK day and I know that Dr. king wouldn't want me to break a brother down. I just walked to my Mercedes , drove away and didn't give him a second thought.
They can't give you the emotional connection you need to have a RELATIONship. They can't relate and put themselves on a throne. Anything short of worship and they whine
Good info. I've been saying lately that the standard for men is very low. I was told to lower my standards and not expect too much from a guy by men who admit that I am an atypical and desirable woman. Crazy!
Basic, bland, and boring...ugly or average looking on top of it.
exactly! Not to mention bad hygiene & only wants to live a very basic life & live on a shoestring budget while they cheat & confused about their sexuality.
Dont forget to add stank breath
@@JC-gq2lo men be walking around with the nastiest breath ever.
Some don't even brush their teeth.
PrincessAmandaTV Dudes fail to even drop any HUMOR. They should ... considering they’re so meh. Basically they lack communication and social skills and their LACK of effort is evident.
Thank you! I _hate_ this psychotic and entitled attitude amongst men. Ugh! 😡
better than average men can pay all women's bills with no complaints.
And we want women who can pay their own! 🤷🏿♂️
@@davidcadogandc I can pay my own quite easily, but why should I? If a man is using my body for his pleasure, best believe he will be financially providing for me. No 50/50 crap either.
"I have a job" 😂😂😂
That’s what’s so tricky about these “good/nice men”…..they could be basic but abusive…paying bills, going to church but an undercover liar and cheater…he could be in your face with all the “good” crap but be a toxic boyfriend/husband/father to the kids. It’s just not it.
Instead of going to church, I listen to Deb. Real life guidance for real. I was on my way home from visiting my fiance and ran into this guy. He appeared to at least be late 40s. He said I can't find a good looking single woman. He said that he is decent looking, has a job and is a good man. All I could think of is nigga you are BASIC. Smh. One other trait that I've come to appreciate is someone that isn't judgemental. I have had mental health issues my entire life and I have had treatment and meds for them. If i have a panic attack I can't be with a man that will tell me something stupid like get over it. My fiance just gets it. He soothes me and makes the pain easier to bare.
Yes I understand. When I was raped 20 years ago some things traumatized me during sex. My ex used to say get over with that's old. My new guy he gets me and understands. He says it's ok I don't have to do things I'm not comfortable with. Not well u gotta get over it. U gotta please your man etc. So sad. Glad that loser is gone! Happy u met a great guy!
Will play this around my 11 year old daughter❤
I would be interested to know what she has to say...
@@Debsterism 😁❤
Because my first marriage was such a mess. All I wanted was a basic man. Forgetting that everything I look for in my mate I should still be looking for. Thank you for reminding me not to settle for average. It's great if your man has all the basic necessities of life but if he treats you like something on the bottom of his shoe you still got the game twisted. The same men complaining don't know how to treat nobody, don't know how to talk to nobody and still can't figure out why they are by themselves!
Where were you in my early 20s Ms. Deborrah? LOL! Thank you for all that you provide!
+Shannon Teamer I been around since the early 1990s (I was on AOL's NetNoir channel). Not sure how old u are, but I do know TH-cam hadn't been invented yet! LOLOL
Shannon Teamer I say the same thing! Shoot if I'd known about her when I was 20 I wouldn't have married a fool! 😄
the loyalty issue is rampant among blacks. people hardly ever stand up to their family, you're expected to put up with it in order to prove how "good" you are. I believe some of them enjoy watching you be harrassed by family members. They'll always expect you to "understand because that's my (mom, aunt, etc.)." It's sad but it's true, it's almost a silent ridiculous requirement that you put up with familial abuse. And don't tell the family you're getting married, they really pile it on then.
+Iroc314072 I went off on an ex fiancee momma one time. And his cousin another time. He sided with the cousin so I threw them both out. After that I told him to fuck off forever and gave him back that Zales ring. FOH
Iroc314072 I got the hell out. of there. Abuse is abuse
You are truly a blessing. I’m learning sooo much
Good to hear. Please PLEASE don't be a dusty. :-)
That part when you were discussing your friend whose husband takes his black a$$ to work, that’s basic ish. The whole office heard me rolling.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
HAHAHAHA!!
I wish I understood this before I made the wrong choice in marriage. Thank you Deborrah Cooper for this wisdom.
Everything you've said was on point. I wish my dad would have told me this as a youngster.
I saw the title for this video and said to myself, "Ms. Deborrah's about to GO IN!" Lol. I think, sadly, the pool of decent men seems soooo small that sometimes even the basic stuff seems like a blessing. But you have opened my eyes to a lot. It's not enough to just be a functioning adult...I hope the fellas are listening to this one so they can stop bragging about being a big boy lol
+R S Gurllllll!! Testify!
Like T.I. say in his song "I don't want no mediocre" ..we don't want no mediocre either!
Good advice. Many young Black women in particular need to hear this. I will be sharing.
Appreciate it, and they will too!
Yes! Why do they compare themselves to bottom of the barrel men? Makes no sense at all. 🙄
Because it's easier. They want to feel good about themselves with as little effort as possible. I mean, think about how they would feel comparing themselves to Robert Johnson or Barack Obama or Jerry Rice or somebody. They would come up so short they would be knee high to a roach!
Deborrah Cooper knee high to a roach 😄😄😄
A lot of us don't have to much
We can take solace in the fact that we don't live on the streets and eat stuff from the garbage can
We strive to be better
But we can't do that without self esteem
I love this saying....."I can do bad by myself"...........
Great video! so poignant I want to share this with my teens (with a maturity disclaimer of course, LOL!) And not just my daughter. my sons also need to hear this. They don't understand why I want to put my boot in their rear when I hear the word thot. It's so damn disrespectful. Thank you for this.
+Lotus Blossom Get in their heads, and if that's not enough, place foot in ass and wear them brats like shoes. That's my motto!
I am a new listener to your videos and I must say you are a very intelligent person. I see that some men get caught up with the words (basic) and miss the message. Keep doing this work for it is sorely needed in our community. Sometimes our behavior needs to be confronted.
Wow this needed to be said. You are 100% correct and I laughed so hard at "troglodyte" 😉.
I love this list. There are a lot of men out there that's going to be crossed of someone's list.
Deservedly so. Bottom feeding ass cretins!
Great analysis, Deborah! I wish more women would see relationships and marriage from this perspective. It would significantly cut down on our 70% women-led divorce filings.
Older women aren't telling them these facts. Please share to young women you know so they can get the message before they get caught up.
Deborrah Cooper I already gave them a heads up! They should have subscribed to your channel.
Omg heard these lines all the time lol blocked lol 🤣🤣🤣 love you Deborah ❤️
Deb i love your confidence. You rock. I'm taking it all in. I'm glad I found your page.❤
I'm glad too. Please share a couple of links. 😃
Sent this to my daughter. Thank you.
You are so welcome. Hope it helps wake her up.
When they think
They’re good because they don’t have kids lol so
Just supported you as a patron! You're my girl!
+nancydrew5 yay!!!
Damn, you are on point with this one. With the exception of "affectionate" and "god fearing", I am in pretty good shape based on your criteria. lol
OMG so happy to meet you. LOL.
She said Troglodyte! Hilarious.
GIRL!!! Do you remember that song? LOLOL!
a person with an adventurous/sophisticated palette...not everyone wants soul food or cares to eat it all the time.
A man that's good looking, stays in the gym, and helps around the house and woth the kids!, where do I find one of those? Lol.
No, it's not comical. It means she is formulating her list of desirable traits and qualities in her mate. The true problem is when women date without any firm idea of the type of guy that would meet their needs - morals, values, educationally, intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, physically, sexually. All of those are important things if you are talking about being with someone for 20+ years and being happy with the growth and direction of your relationship!
The foolish are the ones who go out without a plan and just accept any dustmite that rolls into their life. If you don't plan to succeed by eliminating those who are not on your level and won't meet your needs, then a woman is just wasting her time and energy.
So I don't know why you think that is "funny" because it's not. Reframe your thinking.
A good workout program is 3 days per week, 1 hour per day. Men can take walks with their wives, or run with the dog, or bike with the kids for exercise on the other days for cardio and do both. There is no reason for a man to "stay in the gym" to have a great body. I can tell you never worked out in your life because you have no clue about weight training. lolol
@@Debsterism A lot of these men work, But they also have the weekends off. So I don’t know what This dude is trying to get at?
@@ojivey8273 What's the matter Boo? Mad 😠 because you don't measure up? I often find that men who are angry about women's standards are always the ones that can't meet them.
I think it's "entertaining" that black men want a woman who is physically in shape and looks like a 10, when 90% of American black men are no more than a 5, obese, sloppy, ugly as fuck in the face, abusive, have a bad attitude, no job, no house of their own, no future, a criminal record, use drugs, drunkards, multiple baby mommas, can't screw, play video games or troll women online all day, and spend so much time gobbling Popeye's chicken and greasy burgers, like it is worth a drink on the house. Then he wonders why he is 45 and still living with his grandmom, had ED, high blood pressure, kidney failure, and is swollen and puffy from heart disease fluid retention. No money, ugly AF, lazy, stupid, f'd up attitude, and bad health. AND thinks someone should want him.
Set us skraight!!! Thank you Deborrah!!
Love you Deb!!!
+Angela Graves Awwww thanks for the live Angela
I'm happy that I found this channel
Why?
Deborrah Cooper because you give great advice and life lessons
thumbs up!
I feel like a lot of men weren't taught, and I didn't have good male role models
:(
My uncle was a womanizer and I though that was what I was suppose to do, but I couldn't even do that, to this day, I don't know how he get all them women in bed.
Marc Andengwisye wimen aint taught either..but we still do basic adult shit
I'm SO glad you spoke on this topic. will share.
Great video 🥰
Thank you! 🤗
Thumbs up...lol "basic" smh too funny!
He helped provide for the kids that were made for him. He helps take care of a women's Springs child who's related to him
PLEASE MAKE A PODCAST!!! Upload these videos to your podcast. You don’t even need to make new content. I wanna listen to this as I’m driving and cleaning without using TH-cam!!!
You do realize that would cost me money, right?
You can make a playlist so it continuously plays
I love this!!! It's soooooo TRUE!!!
I love this I hope I meet him one day 😊
These men are the men that you have to share even though their near perfect.
Even dusty bums cheat. A man's character and integrity is not tied to income.
@@Debsterism of course they do obviously but the more perfect a man is and his options the more likely he is to cheat is what I am saying, men who are in the top percent cheat by far more than average men and bums.
@@manigaultdeante those aren’t top tier then. A top tier man is psychologically more like a woman.
This is so true but these guys are rare!
The basics, I actually think that is a great foundation to build to the advanced in anything. How can you even be a good catch if you don't at least have that in order first? Excel beyond the basics sure but have the things all of us can agree upon before we go further. I may be great at some things that just are not important to you but someone else may be dying to meet. Keep it moving and happy hunting.
Exactly. The guys I'm talking about are at basic or below, but want to act like they are stellar humans worthy of rounds and rounds of applause and a parade.
THIS IS SOOO ON POINT
Lol, you are so funny about it all 😁 It's so cringe when a women compliments you on being basic, like making contact with someone from a different planet.
Is maturity an umbrella term?
and.. a protector - what does he do that makes him a protector?
and, having a personality - how does that work?
+chaddcarver Those are all great questions.
Facts!
Men's Stellar Quality 8:11
thank you so much! i just might have a chance to meet someone wortthy after all.you really cleared my head :-)
I understand in your mind that the man is supposed to be a financial benefit…supportive a cheerleader helpful…patient kind good penis dependable outgoing humble hardworking a protector physically fit educated constantly reminding you how special you are through words and actions…romance you understandings his purpose…respect all women… honest cares about your interests …confident selfless…have a sense of humor faithful family oriented loyal…Great list!! But I’m curious what exactly is expected from a woman in the relationship other than sex? And I ask that question with sincerity
Rabbit We should do the same! At least do and be most of those things
Women are suppose to be the same
Another loaded question. If a man has to ask, he’s either trying to be funny or facetious.
Rabbit Skipper most women have a lot of those qualities already and women are always willing to improve
Rabbit Skipper We already do it all; so what are you belly aching about. Loser.....
I’m so glad I hear this cuz I use to be dumb like that!! Not no more, a man can’t even talk to me cuz they all bums looking for help
You got a loooooong list of stuff. Glad you introduced it. I call it a refresher course of some stuff that dudes will inadvertently put on the back burner.
I know. Then they wonder why their woman puts THEM on the back burner.
Touche' lol
I can do that...i do and did that I haven't done everything but I carried those traits...
Honesty is refreshing
but that is just it...a certain segment of our women are choosing the people on "the bottom" in other words, BELOW basic brothers so the basic dude is looking like, "well damn, you chose that do nothing dude but at least I have a job, no kids, and no drama...meanwhile homegirl is giving the neighborhood nobody n!&&@$ play...it just don't make any sense...I see it all the time...
but everything else I was listening to sounds on point...as the end of the day like you said, the women ultimately is the one who chooses...
Big Bearman understood.
I think we got blocked...wow...
You didn't, that knucklehead clownass fool you were engaged with did. I suggest if you want to try to pretend to have a conversation with someone that you brought here that you run a tighter game. All comments here are held for review by either me or my cousin. Nothing goes live until we see it. So all your little stupid antics were for naught. They went into the garbage disposal. The comments you made that didn't cross the line were allowed to go live. That's how this channel rolls.
Commenting here is a privilege, not a right.
Tiki Thompson I hear ya. It is just sad because I feel the black family can't exist w/o the black man and black women...things are not looking too good...
Good info and the Basic Woman video was good too.
everything you just named are basic characteristics of what you look for in a man! a lot women simply moved away from looking for those things that man is suppose to have. this attitude that most women have when it comes down to what they're looking for in a man they don't possess themselves relationships are not one-sided it takes two and if you're both or not in it to build together then it is pointless. what ever happened to take care of each other some of us seem to have missed that. it shouldn't be about what I could do for you or what you can do for me it should be about what can we do for each other! just tired our people fighting each other for the entertainment of others
Yawn. Women are not supposed to offer the same things that men do. WHere they do that at? What is all this excuse making you all are doing to try to get men off the hook talking about what WOMEN should be doing instead of sticking to the subject matter of this video which is about MEN and their failures. Stick to the subject. Luckily this comment is old. The new me would have deleted it for being off topic.
Wow 3 years to reply to a comment? And still you think that men are the only problem sad! I was just voicing my opinion on what I see. But I don't expect people who are not married to understand
@@deuntadennard9804 What does being married have to do with the subject matter at hand?
4:38 facts👏👏👏
Yes!!!!!
love these videos
The guys facial expression in the thumbnail 😂
Wow I love it!!
ALL OF THIS!
She is right but the the problem is people need to be compatible. There more basic women and men out there then the exceptional. So she is correct you strive for more. But take a go look at yourself first. In dont lie to yourself ask what bad habits you have and how can you change. What men you like and there characteristics and do they match up to what you want. As for income we live in a two income society. If you making a 100k as a cop or something in government. You paying dues and insurance you may only take home 5000. So you got pay for a mortgage 1200, utilities 1000, cars 1000, food 650, gas 800 ( got drive kids to practice / school) to work from work, family trips atleast twice a year???, extras gifts just because, hair and nails done, tutors for the kids and you may want a private school to better there education and network $$??. This is the upperclass lifestyle with a women not working right? Even if you go 60 thousand as a government worker. I say government worker because most black ppl who have some type of money work in some form of government job ie welfare clerk, cop, fireman, teacher and etc. SO 60k is 1400 every two weeks after union dues, benefits and retirement money are taken out. So you get a modest house for 150k thats about 900 a month, utilities you trying save no cable tv and turning lights no AC putting the heat on 65 so you paying 300 or with comfortable heat and cable 650, gas doesnt change 800, she cooking all the meals 400, you got all cars no benz so no car note, and no family trip. Yea you making it but who want live off one salary like this ?? I mean you can make it in the hood but why you want work that hard to not enjoy anything. I be miserable not having any money working while my college educated women is staying at home asking me to make her laught , keep in shape and wash a dish thats crazy. Whos going sign up for that? After world war 2 and white women joined thw workforce we became a two income nation and women rights was addressed. Black women has always worked. Black men has always been cheered on for being socially deviant. Because we had to be to survive . If you read the phila negro be W.E.B Dubious he described how we couldnt get jobs because of the labor unions wouldnt hire black men. Now we are able to getr jobs they just make alot harder and most men are still be applauded for being social deviants. In being social deviant hurts your chances of getting a job. But we applaud that and look at the square dude as a sucker til we get older. But by then the social deviant swag is imprinted on us. Listening to trap music. So if you want a basic dude or chick and be somewhat happy go forward that maybe for you! Work yall 40 hr jobs go home and sex each other like crazy and love each other. Let that perfect fantasy of women with perfect edges big butt and c cup breast who smart sexy and respectful go everybody cant get she only for exceptional brothers. You can get the same chick minus knowing how to cook and being respectful lol. In women pick your battles
Me
Smdh. Who said the educated woman wasn’t going to work and that she would wait for you to get home just to “entertain” her? Choose a woman with the characteristics Deb says we should look for in a man and you won’t have that problem. Providing the basics isn’t enough anymore. Choose an equal.
THIS VIDEO 💎 💎 💎 💎
That is very important infusing basic with good. It's actually applies to a lot of things and people have to get Beyond their socialization
I'm a black man. I came upon this channel when I was researching something for my daughter who is in college. I don't know where these messed up men are that you're referring to. My grandparents were married for 63 years. My parents are still married, going on 57 years. I've been married for 26 years. I think my wife is still hot today as when I met her in college. I've never cheated on her. I never felt the need. I don't think my conscience would let me. I respect and value her too much.
We raised 2 beautiful and responsible kids, 1 son attending law school and 1 daughter in college. Growing up, I never saw my father raise his voice at my mom--same for my grandfather with my grandmother. Neither my father nor my grandfather had any kids outside. They respected and valued one another. If what you say is what young black people have to deal with nowadays, I feel so sorry for them (men and women). If they're out there, and I believe you when you say they are, I do hope they stay the hell away from my daughter.
On the other hand, I also know for a fact, there are many decent young black men who were raised right, who would make wonderful boyfriends, husbands, and life partners. Maybe you haven't meant them yet. They're out there (I know plenty of them from decent, hard working families). Many of them who grew up with my kids.
Spoken like a true narcissist who cannot see the world beyond himself.
THis is a big world with BILLIONS of people on it sir. Obviously you haven't noticed that. Not everyone is YOU. Not everyone is related to YOU. Not everyone is married to YOU. That's great that your parents and grandparents are still married - seeing the divorce rate in the world obviously that isn't the case with millions of couples. You think your wife is still hot - obviously lots of men do not judging by how their wives leave them and are verbally and emotionally abused by them before they go with a broken heart. You have never cheated on your wife and that's fabulous - obviously you are not amongst the men online looking to cheat, advertising on Craigslist for booty, visiting prostitutes, and trolling for extracurricular booty on social media.
I am glad that you respect and value her and that is the type of husband a woman wants. I am happy for her.
Unfortunately that isn't the case for far too many women around the world, not just in the United States. So for you to flatly say "I don't know where these messed up men that you are referring to are" implies that you have your head up your ass, never read a book or magazine or newspaper or news website or rsearch studies, never watch the news of violence of women and girls raped and murdered. You don't "know" anything with all those sources of knowledge and information right in your face???
I think you are being willfully obtuse and intentionally argumentative. You have come to the wrong channel for that. I deal with facts here, not people's imaginations and magical thinking. Reality is right on Google. Use it. Educate yourself. ANd never again attempt to dismiss women's reality with some bullshit ass statement such as the one you made above.
@@Debsterism that part!
A handful of men isnt enough for billions of women
A handful of BLACK men. The world is a big place and men come in all colors.
Amen brother
We try to be our best each day
2:58 I cant stop laughing....😂😂😂
That's right "No MF it doesn't!"
Is this list for men or unicorns ? :)
+Miki Marble try to get as many of these traits as you can. These are ideas to refocus women's thinking
Who cares if he is black? I've never not once advocated that black women limit themselves and their options in any way.
Technically both men and women are from dust and return to dust we came into the world naked and we leave naked. As the say at funerals ashes to ashes to so we all are animated dusties.
Only if you believe in imaginary Sky Daddies.
@@Debsterism Ma'am when the body decomposes it eventually turns to dust. If you don't believe in God then look at the scientific evidence we all return to therefore even the best of us is animated or .
It is not dust, it is decomposes into liquid and absorb into the dirt. Not dust. Dust blows away. Rotten bodies liquify
Does "good" not equal "basic"?!
Maybe. Depends. Some of these guys perceive themselves to be "good" and they aren't even at basic level! Still living with their momma and sponging off her.. Bus pass no car, sponging rides off friends and family members. Etc.
Deborrah Cooper I dated this one guy bout five years ago who was 15 year's older than me, but if he won't the most basic ass nigga I EVER met! Every month he would make it a point to tell me he paid his rent. This was a downgrade for me because I had just dated a homeowner before him. Yeah I dumped him because he was just to stupid.
Everything she asked for, you can find in a "Basic" guy
No you cannot. Otherwise they wouldn't be basic. Big dummy.
@@Debsterism I guess your definition of a basic guy and my definition of a basic guy is different.
Hmm, supportive, protective, treats others well, intelligent... these actually are basic things to demand from a person in any relationship, not just romantic. You described a good person who isn't an idiot, a narcissist, selfish, pretentious, or in essence, a schmuck. I suppose it depends on what and with whom one surrounds themselves and knowing one's self worth as to what one deems acceptable.
95% of men do NOT have the qualities she listed. Deal w it.
@@amiller9628 so true! These dudes are okay as friends but bad as partners. Like my best male friend is sweet but he sucks as a boy friend. My ex is nice as a friend and my ex for very good reason.
Wonderful and helpful video. Thank you
A Feminist???
You're slow
Why wouldn't you want a God-fearing man...A man that doesn't revere God first is self righteous and will mean you no good.
So are the ones who claim to be God fearing. They are ALL shitty because they all think they are superior to women. The God ones are the worst, because they throw the bible at you for justification of their narcissism and sociopathy. Men don't really believe in anything but themselves - they just play that God and Jesus game to (a) get women or (b) get money. Don't ever believe a man who says he believes in God. He is lying.
Deborrah Cooper
I respect that answer but could it be that those men are carnal, "religious practicing" men...God knows the heart of man...they can fool no one and God handles them accordingly but a man that is walking in the righteous word of God is a good man and doesn't have to do anything to demean or make a woman feel any way but loved and respected. It's the self righteous woman that feels conviction when dealing with a true God-fearing man.
+Aki Scott Whatever. I'm not the least but interested. I don't belive in sky daddies.
Aki Scott those are the absolute worse. I want a man that can think for his damn self and has respect for me as his equal. A man that doesn't need fairytales to govern himself.
BabeOfBlasphemy because our relationships are built on tangible and respect.
I'm sorry Miss Cooper but I must say I somewhat disagree here. This is a classic case of a distorted view of what's considered a "good catch" or looking at a "basic" man as a bad thing. It's not where he's at its where he might end up. But lets break this down. Are we talking about young women?Let's face it. You're not gonna meet very many young men of any race making 6 figures or more. Older women? I'd agree. A middle aged man should be in a situation where he owns a home, has a good job etc. But what about her situation? Look at this from a man's standpoint Does she have kids? Could she stand to loose a few pounds? What's her credit like? This goes both ways. And let's face it, At 35, even if your are pretty, in good shape with no kids, you are now competing with younger women for the men that you deem better than basic. And be honest, you have a successful man making above 6 figures and meets all the criteria you laid out, who's he going for? The mid 30s woman with no kids? Or the early to mid 20s woman with no kids. I'm not totally disagreeing with you Miss Cooper, but I think you're taking a shallow view on this topic.
You advocate that a woman bank on "potential" which I never do. By the time an adult male has reached the age of 25, he is already demonstrating where he is going in life. EIther he is on the fast track to making his dreams a reality (like in school, finishing his doctorate, getting promotion after promotion in corporate America, has his business plan ready and is getting his funds together, etc.). There should be tangible confirmable evidence that he is working his program.
But you got some clown sitting on the couch bumping his gums and hasn't DONE anything? Hell naw, no basic fuckers should be given the time of day. Especially if a woman is on her grind and doing her best, she deserves a partner putting forth at least the same amount of effort towards greatness.
"I'm not totally disagreeing with you Miss Cooper, but I think you're taking a shallow view on this topic."
What a total hypocrite. You say Miss Cooper is shallow, yet you name shallow reasons that a black women should be dismissed for being a potential mate. Age, weight, kids, .. Plenty men marry women in their 30's with kids and not model slime all of the time. It seems you are the one with your head stuck in fantasy land and could be missing a potential good woman because you are shallow. Yall knuckleheads have no idea for what makes a successful relationship/marriage. Y'all all want the video girls thinking you got a prize based on superficial reasons.