I think your channel with its mix of men's issues, mental health concerns and woodworking as therapy is one of the oddest channels on youtube. I don't remember exactly how i stumbled across your channel, but I just wanted to say that combined... I like it. And I find it helpful in a way that I can't exactly articulate. But it helps, much more than other woodworking channels where the guy seems to effortlessly build every project and then wants to sell me a T-Shirt or some tool from a company that sponsors the channel. Keep doing what you're doing.
From a carpenter, a father, a husband, a son, and a brother. Who in the past has been suicidal/ attempted suicide. I have been diagnosed and misdiagnosed. Struggled professionally and personally. This is a really great talk. Thank you
Thanks so much for your comment, Ethan. I'm sorry that you've struggled with your mental wellbeing, and I really hope things have improved or are improving for you.
Thank you for the video. I've been to multiple therapists and counselors over the years and at best, it always seemed unhelpful and a waste of money. At worst, it just made me feel worse and worse each time because all I was doing was talking about and putting in the forefront of my mind the things that are causing me pain. While I'm not completely alone and I do have people who love and care for me, I don't really know where to turn for effective help. I can't handle my issues on my own, so I need to find something or someone. As for the people who express those kinds of hateful attitudes towards men, I've simply stopped associating with them or paying attention to their stuff. Getting off of Twitter and other social media sites as well as unfriending hundreds of people on Facebook really helped.
Thanks for commenting, Kyle, I appreciate it. And I'm sorry you've had such a frustrating time with therapists. It sounds like you would probably appreciate what Abigail Shrier's recent book, "Bad Therapy." I haven't read it, but I have listened to her discussing its themes in a couple of podcasts (like "Conversations with Coleman." She talks about the issue you raised, namely that in many cases by encouraging clients to go back and focus on their problems, therapists make clients end up just feeling worse. I do hope you manage to connect with someone more helpful - whether they are a therapist or not. And you're absolutely right about simply cutting off people who perpetuate the hate and harm. It's freeing.
@@PeoplesCarpenter Thank you. I have heard about the book. I've heard some good things, though I also read Matthew Loftus's criticism of the book on Mere Orthodoxy. I may read it.
I’ve got few things to add. Any time I had a comment in mind you addressed it later. I do think that also contributing to men’s mental health problems is that while women have been elevated in society, and new norms for the role of women have been added, men have continued to be looked upon to provide the same things. That’s just not realistic. Sone women are even out there saying men are no longer needed. Whether one considers this patriarchal or traditional standards, it’s going to cause problems if you change the role of women and don’t liberate men from some of the traditional expectations. There is no longer a place for many men to feel they have value.
Sadly the reality is that men are raised from birth to pander to wmn's needs with zero regard for their own. 99% of men gleefully live this way. Hell, most will attack other men for even thinking men's issues are equal to wmn in any way. If you ever bring up men's issues around other men they will look at your like your wacko.
I tried but I found talking worked for half an hour or so, reason being is the problem is still there causing the stress. A lot of the time men need the situation actioned not talking about it. If he's struggling because of current issues and snowed under, perhaps he's got a funeral, been asked to move out and another problem. Perhaps he's better off at saying C.A.B. (UK) than a therapist office. If he's working for nothing and the courts ordered a ton of his money go to a hostile ex who he has a kid with and is close to deletion because he's doing say 60 hours and not seeing bugger all, he finds out she's leaving the kid with her mother and wasting the money he's giving her in the club then again, that needs to be actioned. E.g. reassessment as she shouldn't be using the child support for the club or bars. These are just examples but for men, talking only helps short term, long term men need action done about problems not nattering about it.
Thats ridiculous.. to suggest men couldnt benefit from being listened to or talked to long term about their problems. We arent robots. Solving the problem is obviously the way to go.. but after years of mental abuse from a hostile ex and the court system.. there is mental damage that needs to be addressed that can take years to un-do. 80% of people who take their own lives are men. They need help.
@@Jojo-o6o6w That certainly is one such deomgraphic with a prominent predisposition for narcissistic behavior/disorder, though certainly not the only one. Proof; It's in the language they use. Go to any comment section on YT for videos about 'narcissist', and it'll be full to the brim with closeted narcissistics, almost all of them wmn, proclaiming their ex's were 'narcissists', rather than taking accountability in their own lives, or aknowledging (through language), that the people they are dehumanizing by reffering to them, as nothing more than 'ists', do in fact posess all of the other 'pathy's', and 'ism's' attributable to the human psyche/contition. [empathy, sociopathy, apathy, etc] The truly narcissistic, reffer to others, as 'ists', not 'ics'. Empathy is the ability and willingness to accept that people are more than just what you think you have seen/would like to believe. #CodependenceIsAChoice
@@jrddoubleu514 I believe more wmn are this way because the way society treats them and the way they are raised. They are born into privilege simply because of their genitals and are treated and raised like they are angels sent by god himself. Never held accountable for brat behavior, never scolded or corrected.. men are 100% guilty of allowing this as well... probably more so. Daddy's little princess. What blows me away the most is that wmn literally believe they can belt a man across the face and then stand there inches from them with a look on their face of "how'd you like that?" with ZERO concern or fear of getting hit back. If one ever does the right thing and belt them back the wmn goes into complete shock. That alone tells you how wmn are raised differently and continue to be treated like children into old age. How many men go around saying "there is no excuse to ever hit a wmn" ? its ridiculous how brain dead and brain washed men are. The really disgusting part is if a man hits back there are always simp men around that will tackle him and beat him for it. it literally makes me ill.
I think your channel with its mix of men's issues, mental health concerns and woodworking as therapy is one of the oddest channels on youtube. I don't remember exactly how i stumbled across your channel, but I just wanted to say that combined... I like it. And I find it helpful in a way that I can't exactly articulate. But it helps, much more than other woodworking channels where the guy seems to effortlessly build every project and then wants to sell me a T-Shirt or some tool from a company that sponsors the channel. Keep doing what you're doing.
Thank you, and I'm glad to have you along for the ride.
From a carpenter, a father, a husband, a son, and a brother. Who in the past has been suicidal/ attempted suicide. I have been diagnosed and misdiagnosed. Struggled professionally and personally. This is a really great talk. Thank you
Thanks so much for your comment, Ethan. I'm sorry that you've struggled with your mental wellbeing, and I really hope things have improved or are improving for you.
Thank you for the video. I've been to multiple therapists and counselors over the years and at best, it always seemed unhelpful and a waste of money. At worst, it just made me feel worse and worse each time because all I was doing was talking about and putting in the forefront of my mind the things that are causing me pain. While I'm not completely alone and I do have people who love and care for me, I don't really know where to turn for effective help. I can't handle my issues on my own, so I need to find something or someone.
As for the people who express those kinds of hateful attitudes towards men, I've simply stopped associating with them or paying attention to their stuff. Getting off of Twitter and other social media sites as well as unfriending hundreds of people on Facebook really helped.
Thanks for commenting, Kyle, I appreciate it. And I'm sorry you've had such a frustrating time with therapists. It sounds like you would probably appreciate what Abigail Shrier's recent book, "Bad Therapy." I haven't read it, but I have listened to her discussing its themes in a couple of podcasts (like "Conversations with Coleman." She talks about the issue you raised, namely that in many cases by encouraging clients to go back and focus on their problems, therapists make clients end up just feeling worse. I do hope you manage to connect with someone more helpful - whether they are a therapist or not.
And you're absolutely right about simply cutting off people who perpetuate the hate and harm. It's freeing.
@@PeoplesCarpenter Thank you. I have heard about the book. I've heard some good things, though I also read Matthew Loftus's criticism of the book on Mere Orthodoxy. I may read it.
I’ve got few things to add. Any time I had a comment in mind you addressed it later.
I do think that also contributing to men’s mental health problems is that while women have been elevated in society, and new norms for the role of women have been added, men have continued to be looked upon to provide the same things.
That’s just not realistic.
Sone women are even out there saying men are no longer needed. Whether one considers this patriarchal or traditional standards, it’s going to cause problems if you change the role of women and don’t liberate men from some of the traditional expectations.
There is no longer a place for many men to feel they have value.
Mens health is important for men. Lets look after each other
Sadly the reality is that men are raised from birth to pander to wmn's needs with zero regard for their own. 99% of men gleefully live this way. Hell, most will attack other men for even thinking men's issues are equal to wmn in any way. If you ever bring up men's issues around other men they will look at your like your wacko.
I tried but I found talking worked for half an hour or so, reason being is the problem is still there causing the stress. A lot of the time men need the situation actioned not talking about it.
If he's struggling because of current issues and snowed under, perhaps he's got a funeral, been asked to move out and another problem. Perhaps he's better off at saying C.A.B. (UK) than a therapist office.
If he's working for nothing and the courts ordered a ton of his money go to a hostile ex who he has a kid with and is close to deletion because he's doing say 60 hours and not seeing bugger all, he finds out she's leaving the kid with her mother and wasting the money he's giving her in the club then again, that needs to be actioned. E.g. reassessment as she shouldn't be using the child support for the club or bars.
These are just examples but for men, talking only helps short term, long term men need action done about problems not nattering about it.
Thats ridiculous.. to suggest men couldnt benefit from being listened to or talked to long term about their problems. We arent robots. Solving the problem is obviously the way to go.. but after years of mental abuse from a hostile ex and the court system.. there is mental damage that needs to be addressed that can take years to un-do. 80% of people who take their own lives are men. They need help.
Not according to the narcissistic.
@@Jojo-o6o6w That certainly is one such deomgraphic with a prominent predisposition for narcissistic behavior/disorder, though certainly not the only one.
Proof; It's in the language they use.
Go to any comment section on YT for videos about 'narcissist', and it'll be full to the brim with closeted narcissistics, almost all of them wmn, proclaiming their ex's were 'narcissists', rather than taking accountability in their own lives, or aknowledging (through language), that the people they are dehumanizing by reffering to them, as nothing more than 'ists', do in fact posess all of the other 'pathy's', and 'ism's' attributable to the human psyche/contition.
[empathy, sociopathy, apathy, etc]
The truly narcissistic, reffer to others, as 'ists', not 'ics'.
Empathy is the ability and willingness to accept that people are more than just what you think you have seen/would like to believe.
#CodependenceIsAChoice
@@jrddoubleu514 I believe more wmn are this way because the way society treats them and the way they are raised. They are born into privilege simply because of their genitals and are treated and raised like they are angels sent by god himself. Never held accountable for brat behavior, never scolded or corrected.. men are 100% guilty of allowing this as well... probably more so. Daddy's little princess. What blows me away the most is that wmn literally believe they can belt a man across the face and then stand there inches from them with a look on their face of "how'd you like that?" with ZERO concern or fear of getting hit back. If one ever does the right thing and belt them back the wmn goes into complete shock. That alone tells you how wmn are raised differently and continue to be treated like children into old age. How many men go around saying "there is no excuse to ever hit a wmn" ? its ridiculous how brain dead and brain washed men are. The really disgusting part is if a man hits back there are always simp men around that will tackle him and beat him for it. it literally makes me ill.
@@Jojo-o6o6w YT shadowdeleting comments again.
@@Jojo-o6o6w You said it. 😅
Because therapy is nonsense. For men. What we actually need is to be allowed to talk truth. Eg pay gap is a lie.