Ayanime Edem and Anna Bey both have great channels for women that discuss elegance and femininity. Love seeing the desire for both men and women to return to a more elevated way of being.
I am a 73-year-old disabled widower. There are many things I can no longer do. I watch your videos to remind myself of what used to be. I could use a true “gentleman’s gentleman” such as you in my life, my friend..
Where does your will to live come from? Since it's rather anonymus over the internet I dare ask this question that may be deemed unkind, but it comes from a place of curiosity as I can personally not come up with a good enough answer. I very much understand everyone's body will deteriorate to a degree, but you have said you're disabled, that seems rather serious. You're a widow, also absolutely awful to go through and I'm sorry for your loss. So you went from high highs in life, and I don't want to put words in your mouth but you can saw low lows now. Also don't want to assume things won't get better, but I will. Since I'm currently in the hospital myself with a lot of elderly people around in states I'd never want to be in, I also wonder what keeps them going, but on the internet it's a bit easier. This man I share the hospital room with has sailed multiple seas, lived in the Caribbean for 10 years etc. and now he is here in a Dutch hospital soiling his diaper. The human ability to adapt is astounding and something I don't understand yet. Apologies if I offend you and feel free to ignore this, but I would be very interested in your answer. I'd have to say 73 is not that old yet, the gentleman in my room is certainly older.
Not sure why your video popped up, but I found it so interesting. As a a woman these little gentlemanly gestures are very appreciated by women. It denotes caring for others and then he might care for me. Helping with a seatbelt makes one feel protected, and help with heavy things is so appreciated, and I have never had a man say "no" if I asked. But the trick is to notice and not wait to be asked. Years ago every man carried a handkerchief, and it was such a nice and protective measure for a man to offer one if you were crying or spilled something. It's all about taking care of others.
My father taught me all of these skills many years ago and I continue to do them. Once in a while some people will say "stop being so kind". But I have no intention of ever doing that. I'm very happy that you're passing this on as well because I do not see it with a lot of people these days. I was at a major annual event and there were some new people who didn't know anyone so I made it a point to introduce them around and also I've always been doing the handwritten letters of thank you as well as writing something unique to each person on a Christmas card. Yes I do send Christmas cards. Thank you so much I think your channel is wonderful and may you have continued success.
I must complement you on your channel. We live in a society that is too often crude, rude and uncaring; your advice is much needed by young men these day. Well done sir, well done.
I am a woman, but never miss your videos. Many of those little things can apply also to women when we are in certain situations, for example with elderly. Thank you !
I have to remember that Aristotle quote, 'We are what we do'. Act like a Gentleman, You are a Gentleman no matter what life has, is and will throw at you.
45-year-old guy here. Only recently discovered your channel and I just want you to know that I find your insights genuinely valuable and refreshing. I see a lot of comments on here from other older folks praising you for talking about this stuff despite your young age, but I want you to know that’s not where I’m coming from. I just think you’re brilliant and thoughtful, regardless of age. Cheers and keep up the good work
I was happy to see you mentioned offering a drink to guests in your home including tradesmen. When I was a boy in the early 70s you ALWAYS offered tradesmen a drink. Unlike today, back then, with the rare exception of the few 7-11 stores there was no where for working men to use the restroom or grab a cold drink. There were gas stations, but if you’ve ever seen movies or television where they talk about how disgusting gas station bathrooms were, it was no joke. Too filthy to even piss on the floor.
I love your videos. They do make me feel sad these things need to be mentioned. I'm a 73 year old man and it makes me feel good to help someone - male or female - young or old when I'm out and about. It only takes a minute or two.
Haven't seen a woman burst into tears in a looong time. Guess it happens more in some universes than in others. Kind gestures. Yes. Always. Love your gentlemanly videos. Blessings.🙏
I appreciate getting a handwritten note from my son. The joy of recognizing his handwriting is sweet. When most communication is through other means, it is especially nice to receive a personally written note that reflects unique personality.
I'm glad you did this video. I grew up being taught to be a gentleman. Today's young people have no idea of what a gentleman is or how they should act. 90% of being a gentleman has to do with being kind and respectful to other people. I hold doors open for ladies and enter last. That simple gesture often gives a man an opportunity to engage in pleasant conversation. Recently, I had an opportunity to help a total stranger. I don't know if I was just being kind to someone less fortunately than me or I was being gentlemanly. I was standing behind a man who had quite a bit of items to pay for and he didn't have enough money to cover all the items, and he was asking the cashier to put some items back. The items were things that I was sure he needed so I handed him $50 and then he had enough to cover all the items. All I said to the man was, "I've been there and I know how it feels". He thanked me and I told him that one day he might be in a position to do the same for someone else. I turned a very depressed man into a man who felt blessed.
As an aspiring lady, always looking to refine my manners, I love your content and think so much of it applies to women as well. There is much to be said for being aware of the others around you and showing them kindness, compassion and respect.
When you're 30 you will think you are grown. When you hit 40 you will think how innocent you were. When you hit 50 you will understand at 40 you were still a kid. At 60 you will know you knew nothing. At 70 you will decide to do something when you grow up.
1:53 Right now I work construction, one of the clients where we go the most right now they live next to a ruin of a house that we are renovating. It’s summer and here in Bulgaria temperatures are well above 30-35 in the shade, needless to say we often don’t get to work in the shade especially roofing gets VERY hot up there. Luckily these are kind people and most days they bring out a can with some water with taste and ice in. As tradesmen it isn’t often that this happenes but it’s very nice and I’ll tell you people like that make our day. If you ever have someone doing work at your house, be it: gardening, construction, renovation, cleaning… if you wanna make their day, a refreshing drink is the way to go. (Not in winter though lol)
@@D.B.Cooper13 we always bring our own thermos flask of coffee, I recently got my coworker a 1 litre flask. We like it when we get cold drinks in summer because we can’t really keep our drinks cold for long so if the clients bring out a cold drink that’s nice. In winter it doesn’t matter, we take our water and coffee but it’s always nice if the client is so thoughtful. In winter our job is okay, you can dress for the cold and i often work in a shirt when we’re doing hard work because anything more and I’m sweating. It’s summer that is the problem. I’m the sun it can go upwards of 40-45 degrees and especially doing very heavy work or roofing is nearly unbearable.
Once again, great advice - really enjoying these videos and wish you had been around 50 years ago when watching them would have helped me for the last 50.
Your notions on a gentleman behavior reminded me of my grandfather. He always had a assortment of alcohols and tobacco to offer guests despite not using either. Nor did my grandmother. They always dressed up when they had guests or went visiting friends or neighbors. They were a farming couple on the west coast of Finland.
It really hit Home when you were talking about not being a slob even when you’re home alone all day, as I often am as a remote employee. I must admit, I often times roll out of bed, make some coffee and open up my laptop, waiting until lunchtime to take a shower and actually get dressed. The times that I do get up early enough to do those things before work, I admit I feel more put together, more focused and more professional. I’m going to commit to doing that more often
Thanks James! You are helping people to become better men! I was brought up with good manners, you have helped me remember it all, I still let ladies go first and open doors for them, you forgot to offer your seat to a lady or elderly people, good luck to you, looking forward to more!!
Thanks for doing this - I show this to young entrepreneurs and business guys on important tips for men. Wish I was in London for your meet in Sept - but maybe in the future. Have fun!
His manner of speaking has become noticeably more refined and eloquent if you compare his earliest videos to his most recent. It’s really cool to watch somebody evolve so significantly
Great video. I love writing notes. I have cranes stationery to, its really nice. And I always keep a handkerchief, usually two, when I am dressed up. I do everything you mentioned in this video. I really enjoyed this video, Jeff
I'm seventy-six and still practice these things. American society has changed so much in the last few decades, that it can be difficult to seek out like minded individuals. However they do exist and they provide me with companionship. They simply live on a higher plane and by that I do not mean they are snobs in any way. In fact just the opposite. Nothing beats unpretentious good manners casually expressed . Thanks for the video. I always enjoy them.
I work from home but yet still make sure I get properly dressed every day. Even if it’s just a pair of slacks and a Henley or a pullover, I never “go to work” in sweats or gym shorts. I call that the “mental commute.” Get up, brush my teeth, have a quick shave/beard trim, shower, get dressed.
I also work at home and I admit I’ve gotten a bit lazy as of late. Sometimes I wait until my lunch break to take a shower and get properly dressed. I need to get back into those good habits again
Why did your video suddenly, and for no apparent reason, appear on my suggested watch list? I'm glad it did. I watched it and enjoyed it. Thank you. Excellent values and food for thought. You have another subscriber. Regards AF
I saw other videos talking about carrying a handkerchief and I started. I have used it to clean myself up, clean my glasses, and offered one to a woman who was in tears during a funeral. I am surprised how much I actually use it. I miss hand written letters. It made me look forward to when the mail came instead of bills, adverts, and political ads.
Never heard of you till about five minutes ago. Hit subscribe just because of your intro dialog, and then continued listening. Keep it up, and I'll look forward to seeing what else you have to share!
I think there is an important difference between anglosaxon or nordic countries and mediterranean countries in terms of hospitality. I am from Spain and here, at least in the senior generation, is way common to give any visit at least not only a drink (coffee, tea, beer, wine, soda, juice, milk or water) but also some food to accompany the drink, like fried potatoes, ham, cheese, peanuts or olives in case of alcoholic beverages and sodas or biscuits, chocolate or cake in case of coffee and tea. We do this particullary with people who came to work at home, like plumbers or woodcrafters, and is very important in a hot day. Also is quite common to invite any person at home to dinner if it's time to do it. Younger generation don't observe this practices so much though. Also, there is not a proper time to start drunking, so is perfectly fine to give your plumber or your gardener a beer at 11:00 am, but we don't offer commonly heavy liquor, except in the night to friends. I lived in the UK and it was very different. They asked me to leave the house of a friend when dinner time was near or they even make me wait in a room while they take dinner in the kitchen. Of course, some of them invited to dinner, but is not like in my home country where is assumed that you will take dinner if you are on a friend's house. For me that was extremely unpolite, but I can understand is another mentality due to cultural and religious reasons. Sorry for my bad English.
I have written a close friend a thank you know using fine stationery and fountain pen. The only response was that it wasn't necessary. Don't let that attitude prevent you from doing it, though. It is still and excellent way to show your gratitude for a favor or gift.
I always offer a drink, and it's the first thing I do. It's surprising how many people don't do this. Spot on with the written notes. Always dress well it's a sign of a quality person. Good manners cost nothing but are of the highest value. The offer to help others can be received with differences depending on opinion, but ask politely in a calm voice and most people except an offer to help.
I went into a petrol station last week and as I approached the till there were two guys paying, then one woman quite far back looking at something on the shelf. As I was walking up I was thinking to myself, “nah she must be doing some shopping, I’ll just go in front”. So I went in front of her and waited, then as the guys were finishing up I noticed in my periphery that the lady turned from the shelf she was looking at and got in behind me. So immediately I said, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure if you were queuing, please go in front.” Well her and the cashier (female) were most taken back like this. Both exclaiming, “well I guess there are a few gentlemen left in this world!” I couldn’t believe they deemed that gentlemanly, it was just unequivocally the right thing to do. And one of the codes I live my life by is “do the right thing.”
That’s great. Understandably, women these days don’t want to be patronized, and some don’t subscribe to those old-fashioned gender stereotypes. At the same time, though, they almost always seem to appreciate a little bit of that good old chivalry when it’s offered sincerely
Ive just entered my 60s and since a child have always carried a white cotton hankerchief with me. I drive my wife crazy by using it for everything from rubbing a mark off the car paintwork to mopping up red wine drips. The key is to keep replacing them on a regular basis...always fresh..always smart. Oh yes..and i do occasionally blow my nose on mine!! 😊
Things a Gentleman does. 1) Help a woman with her seatbelt. 2) Send handwritten notes and letters. 3) Offer everyone who comes to your home a drink. 4) Purchase them a thoughtful gift that appeals to a “Niche Interest” they told you about. 5) Dress well and maintain a high standard of grooming everyday. 6) Carry a handkerchief. Never use it to blow your nose, use a tissue for that. 7) Pick up things and elderly person or a woman drops. 8) Carry something heavy for someone. 9) Pause before you reply to someone. Especially on digital media. 10) Bring people together. Especially new people.
The amount of times my handkerchief has come in handy, not just for myself, but also for others, is countless. I generally carry 2 with me just for good measure, which has come in handy on many occasions as well, especially in the summer.
Good sir, could you please give some advices dedicated to gentleman farmers? How can you stay distinguished when working hard in the garden, the yard or on a piece of mechanic?
Handkerchief. I helped a fellow passenger on the train last month, that had an coffee related accident. The burden of carry one is light but the impact are great.
I like this channel. Nothing new to me. So far, nothing really surprised me. If I may add one thing. Gentleman is usually clean shaved. I know, I know, I can hear many disagreeing with me already. I applaud you. I am already one step ahead of you, and I love being ahead of competition.
All good suggestions. I enjoy composing and writing with my twenty dollar fountain pen. Letters are 'drawn' not just written. It is a little gift to those I appreciate. And it is uncommon.
When I was a very young man, I had an aunt who preached manners to me as I was growing up. One thing I remembered was that " gentleman" always carries a handkerchief. Thx for reminding me because I still do carry one even if I'm just wearing jeans!
I’d love to do one in LA soon. Unfortunately I lose quite a bit of money doing events away from Chicago but I hope that won’t be an issue in the near future
i remember doing small things on bus rides to school like keeping my foot on a mothers stroller so it wouldnt roll away and she could remain seated or telling the driver to have a good weekend, stuff like that made me feel really good
I was caring for my grandmother for years and she always had difficulty with the seatbelt, I learned to always help her into the vehicle and buckle her seatbelt and to open and close the door for her.
I like most of these. I have to protest to an extent on fastening others seatbelts and picking up items. Fastening another persons seatbelt can be taken as infantalizing. Very similarly, picking up another's dropped item can be seen as infantalizing depending on context. What the item is, age of person, etc. I also don't think gender/sex of person should matter. Just be kind and pick up an item as long as it helps the other person without getting in their way.
Thanks. May I suggest 2 more possibilities: Learn CPR and first aid- your clean handkerchief may need to be used as a bandage. The second - always avoid making women you don’t know uncomfortable by never walking directly behind them on an otherwise deserted street and not getting into an elevator together when it’s just the two of you. Wait for the next one.
When at home I dress comfortably but in a manner that would not see me embarrassed to receive a guest or guests at my home. I tend to favour a mode of attire that some would consider "eccentric" for a western person. Fortunately it seems that such a style agrees with me. My sense of aesthetics and so, my style is largely Japanese and this is due to my long-time involvement in their arts, lifestyle and occupation. I do have some western clothing for certain formal occasions such weddings, funerals and business meetings but most of the time depending on the occasion I will be found in a Kimono, to suit the season, a Samue or a Gi. It may seem inconsistent or even lazy to some but I focus more on my daily personal conduct whether in my interactions with others or in my own more private routines... I have a different take on being a Gentleman
@@mosytube fair enough. It certainly falls into a gray area and depends on local culture. Where I’m from it could considered rude to not accept a gift for any reason. Denying it once might be fine but any more and it’s rude.
I'm from Bangladesh where it's always scorching hot so carrying a handkerchief is always a life saver Pro Tip: Try to have 2 handkerchiefs One for your personal use and one for your lady friend Also make sure the fabric is Linen not Cotton Cotton becomes stinky and don't last very long after heavy use
My father always carried a white handkerchief of finely woven cotton. Bought a dozen at a time. After use, mother would soak them in light bleach solution, then wash & iron. Rotation helped their longevity. Linen is a great suggestion, too.
Thank you for the tips. Might I enquire about which fountain pen you personally use?I’m looking to collect the pens of people that I take inspiration from. Thanks in advance
How exactly have I to imagine the „helping a woman with her seatbelt?“ Do I wait at the door until she sits down and then lean over her like a parent with their child or do I help her while I already sit on my seat?
Probably you should watch some kind of "tutorial" but i'd guess that it'll be better when you lean over her and buckle her seatbelt. You should help her get safety in the vehicle before you get into vehicle.
There needs to be a channel like this for ladies, femininity is also severely lacking in society today.
Ayanime Edem and Anna Bey both have great channels for women that discuss elegance and femininity. Love seeing the desire for both men and women to return to a more elevated way of being.
@@TruthatudebyLindseyServin Thank you! I will look into those!
@@TruthatudebyLindseyServinAnna Bey, Jennifer L Scott, Lucrative Elegance are just a few of the many channels that address etiquette for women
There are many
RIGHT ON!
I am a 73-year-old disabled widower. There are many things I can no longer do. I watch your videos to remind myself of what used to be. I could use a true “gentleman’s gentleman” such as you in my life, my friend..
Wish you a good health and all the best, sir.
Where does your will to live come from?
Since it's rather anonymus over the internet I dare ask this question that may be deemed unkind, but it comes from a place of curiosity as I can personally not come up with a good enough answer.
I very much understand everyone's body will deteriorate to a degree, but you have said you're disabled, that seems rather serious. You're a widow, also absolutely awful to go through and I'm sorry for your loss.
So you went from high highs in life, and I don't want to put words in your mouth but you can saw low lows now.
Also don't want to assume things won't get better, but I will.
Since I'm currently in the hospital myself with a lot of elderly people around in states I'd never want to be in, I also wonder what keeps them going, but on the internet it's a bit easier.
This man I share the hospital room with has sailed multiple seas, lived in the Caribbean for 10 years etc. and now he is here in a Dutch hospital soiling his diaper. The human ability to adapt is astounding and something I don't understand yet.
Apologies if I offend you and feel free to ignore this, but I would be very interested in your answer.
I'd have to say 73 is not that old yet, the gentleman in my room is certainly older.
Dear Sir, please stay well and may more good people be in your life ❤
Thanks for sharing your experience sir, hope you get your health back ❤️🩹
wish you good health ❤
I love the fact that you are teaching young men about these things. Lots of young men have no one to guide them these days.
THESE LESSONS SHOULD BE COMING FROM THIER OWN PARENTS AND FAMILIES BUT.......................................................
Not sure why your video popped up, but I found it so interesting. As a a woman these little gentlemanly gestures are very appreciated by women. It denotes caring for others and then he might care for me. Helping with a seatbelt makes one feel protected, and help with heavy things is so appreciated, and I have never had a man say "no" if I asked. But the trick is to notice and not wait to be asked. Years ago every man carried a handkerchief, and it was such a nice and protective measure for a man to offer one if you were crying or spilled something. It's all about taking care of others.
Love the content, I am 63 and appreciate your channel educating young men and some older gents.
Thank you, that's fantastic to hear.
My father taught me all of these skills many years ago and I continue to do them. Once in a while some people will say "stop being so kind". But I have no intention of ever doing that. I'm very happy that you're passing this on as well because I do not see it with a lot of people these days. I was at a major annual event and there were some new people who didn't know anyone so I made it a point to introduce them around and also I've always been doing the handwritten letters of thank you as well as writing something unique to each person on a Christmas card. Yes I do send Christmas cards. Thank you so much I think your channel is wonderful and may you have continued success.
Oh Alexander, you sound like prince, and please don't stop being kind. Can you imagine what joy this world would be if everyone was kinder?
For a man, being too kind and ' elegant' can be presumptuous and pompous.
@@alexanderpatrick4866 kindness is the most beautiful nurturing thing. Thank you for spreading your kindness.
I must complement you on your channel. We live in a society that is too often crude, rude and uncaring; your advice is much needed by young men these day. Well done sir, well done.
I love writing hand written letters, such a fun and classy activity. Getting into stationary and fountain pens is also fun.
I use a Parker Pen, with my own name engraved on it.
@@haydenglatemorecouldn’t help reading this comment in Patrick Bateman’s voice
😂😂😂
Gonna do this. “Dear Luke, suck my balls” 😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@ГеоргийКириченко-т1э I'm flattered.
I am a woman, but never miss your videos. Many of those little things can apply also to women when we are in certain situations, for example with elderly. Thank you !
SAME HERE!
I have to remember that Aristotle quote, 'We are what we do'. Act like a Gentleman, You are a Gentleman no matter what life has, is and will throw at you.
*Corollary Quote:*
"Stop worrying if you're good enough. KNOW you are! -- AND start acting like it!"
😂😂😂
45-year-old guy here. Only recently discovered your channel and I just want you to know that I find your insights genuinely valuable and refreshing. I see a lot of comments on here from other older folks praising you for talking about this stuff despite your young age, but I want you to know that’s not where I’m coming from. I just think you’re brilliant and thoughtful, regardless of age. Cheers and keep up the good work
excellent advice all around-- as for #9 Emily Post said "words written in anger are like a fire solidified"
I recently spoke with a viewer on the phone who joked, ‘Handwritten letters make great hate mail.’
I consider myself a gentleman who looks for the little things in life- you just put some more nice gestures on my radar. Thank you
If you have to say that you are something, you aren't.
@@rogue-4789 who?
I was happy to see you mentioned offering a drink to guests in your home including tradesmen. When I was a boy in the early 70s you ALWAYS offered tradesmen a drink. Unlike today, back then, with the rare exception of the few 7-11 stores there was no where for working men to use the restroom or grab a cold drink. There were gas stations, but if you’ve ever seen movies or television where they talk about how disgusting gas station bathrooms were, it was no joke. Too filthy to even piss on the floor.
I love your videos. They do make me feel sad these things need to be mentioned. I'm a 73 year old man and it makes me feel good to help someone - male or female - young or old when I'm out and about. It only takes a minute or two.
Haven't seen a woman burst into tears in a looong time. Guess it happens more in some universes than in others. Kind gestures. Yes. Always. Love your gentlemanly videos. Blessings.🙏
I appreciate getting a handwritten note from my son. The joy of recognizing his handwriting is sweet. When most communication is through other means, it is especially nice to receive a personally written note that reflects unique personality.
I'm glad you did this video. I grew up being taught to be a gentleman. Today's young people have no idea of what a gentleman is or how they should act. 90% of being a gentleman has to do with being kind and respectful to other people. I hold doors open for ladies and enter last. That simple gesture often gives a man an opportunity to engage in pleasant conversation. Recently, I had an opportunity to help a total stranger. I don't know if I was just being kind to someone less fortunately than me or I was being gentlemanly. I was standing behind a man who had quite a bit of items to pay for and he didn't have enough money to cover all the items, and he was asking the cashier to put some items back. The items were things that I was sure he needed so I handed him $50 and then he had enough to cover all the items. All I said to the man was, "I've been there and I know how it feels". He thanked me and I told him that one day he might be in a position to do the same for someone else. I turned a very depressed man into a man who felt blessed.
As an aspiring lady, always looking to refine my manners, I love your content and think so much of it applies to women as well. There is much to be said for being aware of the others around you and showing them kindness, compassion and respect.
Thank you. Indeed, much of my content could apply equally to women. I'm glad you're enjoying the videos.
Absolutely. It’s all about being a kind, considerate and classy person
I always felt I had no role models, this changed when I found this channel!
Grateful young gent from Denmark
I held all door for many peers during my education, greeted every teacher, and offered to help after or before class.
I’m so happy I’ve discovered this channel. Anyone who aspires to become a truly gentleman should watch your videos . Amazing !
i am 19 and since i was just a kid i used to do all of these things, im really proud to be grown up like this
When you're 30 you will think you are grown. When you hit 40 you will think how innocent you were. When you hit 50 you will understand at 40 you were still a kid. At 60 you will know you knew nothing. At 70 you will decide to do something when you grow up.
@@Brianboru-k8y 🤣🤣🤣
i decided quite soon to keep a kid's side in me and tried to cultivate this to my kids 🙂
1:53
Right now I work construction, one of the clients where we go the most right now they live next to a ruin of a house that we are renovating. It’s summer and here in Bulgaria temperatures are well above 30-35 in the shade, needless to say we often don’t get to work in the shade especially roofing gets VERY hot up there. Luckily these are kind people and most days they bring out a can with some water with taste and ice in.
As tradesmen it isn’t often that this happenes but it’s very nice and I’ll tell you people like that make our day.
If you ever have someone doing work at your house, be it: gardening, construction, renovation, cleaning… if you wanna make their day, a refreshing drink is the way to go. (Not in winter though lol)
Indeed!
Nice! But maybe for the winter occasion you could make them tea if someone was to come over like a plumber or something.
@@D.B.Cooper13 we always bring our own thermos flask of coffee, I recently got my coworker a 1 litre flask. We like it when we get cold drinks in summer because we can’t really keep our drinks cold for long so if the clients bring out a cold drink that’s nice. In winter it doesn’t matter, we take our water and coffee but it’s always nice if the client is so thoughtful. In winter our job is okay, you can dress for the cold and i often work in a shirt when we’re doing hard work because anything more and I’m sweating. It’s summer that is the problem. I’m the sun it can go upwards of 40-45 degrees and especially doing very heavy work or roofing is nearly unbearable.
Carry a handkerchief. Brings back memories of my dad. It’s a habit I just didn’t pick up. However, it’s a good one to have.
Once again, great advice - really enjoying these videos and wish you had been around 50 years ago when watching them would have helped me for the last 50.
Your notions on a gentleman behavior reminded me of my grandfather. He always had a assortment of alcohols and tobacco
to offer guests despite not using either. Nor did my grandmother. They always dressed up when they had guests or went visiting friends or neighbors. They were a farming couple on the west coast of Finland.
It really hit Home when you were talking about not being a slob even when you’re home alone all day, as I often am as a remote employee. I must admit, I often times roll out of bed, make some coffee and open up my laptop, waiting until lunchtime to take a shower and actually get dressed. The times that I do get up early enough to do those things before work, I admit I feel more put together, more focused and more professional. I’m going to commit to doing that more often
I love Ash. Glad you guys will be doing something together.
It’s going to be fantastic. We recorded a podcast together but have not yet met in person
Great video. My nephew just sent me a hand written thank you card for a Xmas gift. It's endearing.
Thanks James! You are helping people to become better men! I was brought up with good manners, you have helped me remember it all, I still let ladies go first and open doors for them, you forgot to offer your seat to a lady or elderly people, good luck to you, looking forward to more!!
Thanks for doing this - I show this to young entrepreneurs and business guys on important tips for men. Wish I was in London for your meet in Sept - but maybe in the future. Have fun!
I noticed you have somewhat changed in a good way in the process of making these videos too, there is something magical going on with you I can tell.
Thank you. I have certainly changed a lot in my short time making these videos and I present my journey rather than 'the finished product.'
His manner of speaking has become noticeably more refined and eloquent if you compare his earliest videos to his most recent. It’s really cool to watch somebody evolve so significantly
I really like this. The common concept seems to be thoughtfulness and being helpful.
Great video. I love writing notes. I have cranes stationery to, its really nice.
And I always keep a handkerchief, usually two, when I am dressed up.
I do everything you mentioned in this video.
I really enjoyed this video,
Jeff
I'm seventy-six and still practice these things. American society has changed so much in the last few decades, that it can be difficult to seek out like minded individuals. However they do exist and they provide me with companionship. They simply live on a higher plane and by that I do not mean they are snobs in any way. In fact just the opposite. Nothing beats unpretentious good manners casually expressed . Thanks for the video. I always enjoy them.
Thank you, Thank you, Sir! what a great channel. I'm a old money gentleman.
I work from home but yet still make sure I get properly dressed every day. Even if it’s just a pair of slacks and a Henley or a pullover, I never “go to work” in sweats or gym shorts.
I call that the “mental commute.” Get up, brush my teeth, have a quick shave/beard trim, shower, get dressed.
I also work at home and I admit I’ve gotten a bit lazy as of late. Sometimes I wait until my lunch break to take a shower and get properly dressed. I need to get back into those good habits again
Your videos are like old money. Real OG.
Why did your video suddenly, and for no apparent reason, appear on my suggested watch list? I'm glad it did. I watched it and enjoyed it.
Thank you. Excellent values and food for thought.
You have another subscriber.
Regards
AF
Gent, offering a drink to anyone in your house is the done thing. I've died of thirst standing in ceremony
I saw other videos talking about carrying a handkerchief and I started. I have used it to clean myself up, clean my glasses, and offered one to a woman who was in tears during a funeral. I am surprised how much I actually use it.
I miss hand written letters. It made me look forward to when the mail came instead of bills, adverts, and political ads.
I love my handkerchief. Also great for wiping sweat and having a prop on the dance floor
Never heard of you till about five minutes ago.
Hit subscribe just because of your intro dialog, and then continued listening.
Keep it up, and I'll look forward to seeing what else you have to share!
My friend, the way you look totally pushes me off, but what you say is absolutely gold for this generation. Thanks brother
My friend, the way you comment totally pushes me off.
Passive aggressiveness and backhanded compliments are not becoming of a gentleman.
Good Luck on the Meet-Up (across the pond) with Ash, Raphael and Jack.
London based here, If I am in town on the meet-up day, I’ll definitely attend, thanks.
These videos are very constructive for me. You're doing a great job!
How about a Guide to Gym etiquettes?
I think you’re asking the wrong bloke!
I think there is an important difference between anglosaxon or nordic countries and mediterranean countries in terms of hospitality.
I am from Spain and here, at least in the senior generation, is way common to give any visit at least not only a drink (coffee, tea, beer, wine, soda, juice, milk or water) but also some food to accompany the drink, like fried potatoes, ham, cheese, peanuts or olives in case of alcoholic beverages and sodas or biscuits, chocolate or cake in case of coffee and tea. We do this particullary with people who came to work at home, like plumbers or woodcrafters, and is very important in a hot day. Also is quite common to invite any person at home to dinner if it's time to do it. Younger generation don't observe this practices so much though. Also, there is not a proper time to start drunking, so is perfectly fine to give your plumber or your gardener a beer at 11:00 am, but we don't offer commonly heavy liquor, except in the night to friends.
I lived in the UK and it was very different. They asked me to leave the house of a friend when dinner time was near or they even make me wait in a room while they take dinner in the kitchen. Of course, some of them invited to dinner, but is not like in my home country where is assumed that you will take dinner if you are on a friend's house. For me that was extremely unpolite, but I can understand is another mentality due to cultural and religious reasons.
Sorry for my bad English.
Love your videos man, keep up the great work!
I have written a close friend a thank you know using fine stationery and fountain pen. The only response was that it wasn't necessary. Don't let that attitude prevent you from doing it, though. It is still and excellent way to show your gratitude for a favor or gift.
Sadly, not every gesture of kindness is graciously received.
I always offer a drink, and it's the first thing I do. It's surprising how many people don't do this. Spot on with the written notes. Always dress well it's a sign of a quality person. Good manners cost nothing but are of the highest value. The offer to help others can be received with differences depending on opinion, but ask politely in a calm voice and most people except an offer to help.
🎯
I went into a petrol station last week and as I approached the till there were two guys paying, then one woman quite far back looking at something on the shelf. As I was walking up I was thinking to myself, “nah she must be doing some shopping, I’ll just go in front”. So I went in front of her and waited, then as the guys were finishing up I noticed in my periphery that the lady turned from the shelf she was looking at and got in behind me. So immediately I said, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure if you were queuing, please go in front.” Well her and the cashier (female) were most taken back like this. Both exclaiming, “well I guess there are a few gentlemen left in this world!” I couldn’t believe they deemed that gentlemanly, it was just unequivocally the right thing to do. And one of the codes I live my life by is “do the right thing.”
Doing the right thing is indeed a hallmark of the gentleman.
That’s great. Understandably, women these days don’t want to be patronized, and some don’t subscribe to those old-fashioned gender stereotypes. At the same time, though, they almost always seem to appreciate a little bit of that good old chivalry when it’s offered sincerely
"Don't do unto others what you don't want done unto you."
Confucius
Follow this simple rule you can't do wrong with your life.
These are wonderful ideas. Thank you!
Ive just entered my 60s and since a child have always carried a white cotton hankerchief with me. I drive my wife crazy by using it for everything from rubbing a mark off the car paintwork to mopping up red wine drips. The key is to keep replacing them on a regular basis...always fresh..always smart. Oh yes..and i do occasionally blow my nose on mine!! 😊
This channel embraces a viewpoint that is a relic of the past, but go for it.
Chap's guide gentz and the gentleman's gazette, man I'd like to attend, lucky for anyone that gets to go
Things a Gentleman does.
1) Help a woman with her seatbelt.
2) Send handwritten notes and letters.
3) Offer everyone who comes to your home a drink.
4) Purchase them a thoughtful gift that appeals to a “Niche Interest” they told you about.
5) Dress well and maintain a high standard of grooming everyday.
6) Carry a handkerchief. Never use it to blow your nose, use a tissue for that.
7) Pick up things and elderly person or a woman drops.
8) Carry something heavy for someone.
9) Pause before you reply to someone. Especially on digital media.
10) Bring people together. Especially new people.
I feel so privileged my parents taught me most of these acts.
doth gentleman's chatter is authentic! thy trustworthy and reliable, aye!
The amount of times my handkerchief has come in handy, not just for myself, but also for others, is countless. I generally carry 2 with me just for good measure, which has come in handy on many occasions as well, especially in the summer.
How does someone so young acrue such wisdom? Remarkable young man.
I always leave handwritten notes using VINTAGE STATIONERY! AND MATCHING ENVELOPE, IF POSSIBLE?
I did submit my form, and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Gianluca
Wait there is a gent z meetup!!! I will be there
Where's the tie?
I always look forward to your shirt-tie combo.
Cheers.
Excellent 😊!!! Thanks for the advice 😃!!!
happy to see something else that "dressing" in the gentleman code ! 🙂
Good sir, could you please give some advices dedicated to gentleman farmers? How can you stay distinguished when working hard in the garden, the yard or on a piece of mechanic?
E educated and respectful, that shouldn’t be something remarkable but now a days it is.
Handkerchief. I helped a fellow passenger on the train last month, that had an coffee related accident. The burden of carry one is light but the impact are great.
I like this channel. Nothing new to me. So far, nothing really surprised me. If I may add one thing. Gentleman is usually clean shaved. I know, I know, I can hear many disagreeing with me already. I applaud you. I am already one step ahead of you, and I love being ahead of competition.
All good suggestions. I enjoy composing and writing with my twenty dollar fountain pen. Letters are 'drawn' not just written. It is a little gift to those I appreciate. And it is uncommon.
When I was a very young man, I had an aunt who preached manners to me as I was growing up. One thing I remembered was that " gentleman" always carries a handkerchief. Thx for reminding me because I still do carry one even if I'm just wearing jeans!
I really enjoyed this video. 👍🏻😎
That London meetup sounds like a blast. I wish I could make it but I’ll be stuck here in sunny California.
I’d love to do one in LA soon. Unfortunately I lose quite a bit of money doing events away from Chicago but I hope that won’t be an issue in the near future
@@Gent.Zwhen are you looking to come to London?
This is true.
I receive handwritten thank you notes. Appreciation letters. And it is much more meaningful than a text or email.
Great content!
i remember doing small things on bus rides to school like keeping my foot on a mothers stroller so it wouldnt roll away and she could remain seated or telling the driver to have a good weekend, stuff like that made me feel really good
It's those tiny acts of kindness that fill the heart with joy. We can all do more of them!
@@jellyroll2102 yeah man i gotta start doing it again
I was caring for my grandmother for years and she always had difficulty with the seatbelt, I learned to always help her into the vehicle and buckle her seatbelt and to open and close the door for her.
I like most of these. I have to protest to an extent on fastening others seatbelts and picking up items.
Fastening another persons seatbelt can be taken as infantalizing.
Very similarly, picking up another's dropped item can be seen as infantalizing depending on context. What the item is, age of person, etc. I also don't think gender/sex of person should matter. Just be kind and pick up an item as long as it helps the other person without getting in their way.
Thanks. May I suggest 2 more possibilities: Learn CPR and first aid- your clean handkerchief may need to be used as a bandage. The second - always avoid making women you don’t know uncomfortable by never walking directly behind them on an otherwise deserted street and not getting into an elevator together when it’s just the two of you. Wait for the next one.
I get the not walking directly behind them. That‘s not necessary to do. But the not getting into an elevator with a girl is completely ridiculous.
Or ask the lady if she minds you joining her in the lift (or elevator).
That tip about the elevator is something I could easily overlook. It makes so much sense now though. I’m going to remember that
Wow , This is all very interesting, I ve always thought of myself, being a "Gentleman, " but now see I've missed some areas, the hankerchief!
When at home I dress comfortably but in a manner that would not see me embarrassed to receive a guest or guests at my home. I tend to favour a mode of attire that some would consider "eccentric" for a western person. Fortunately it seems that such a style agrees with me. My sense of aesthetics and so, my style is largely Japanese and this is due to my long-time involvement in their arts, lifestyle and occupation. I do have some western clothing for certain formal occasions such weddings, funerals and business meetings but most of the time depending on the occasion I will be found in a Kimono, to suit the season, a Samue or a Gi. It may seem inconsistent or even lazy to some but I focus more on my daily personal conduct whether in my interactions with others or in my own more private routines... I have a different take on being a Gentleman
Great content. Serious question: Is it gentlemanly to accept gifts for doing a gentlemanly favor (like helping someone carry in their groceries)?
Yes, you’re giving them the gift of giving. Also some people feel indebted and so accepting would be a form of relief for them.
@@username5352 I’d have to disagree, unless they insist. I think a gentleman would wave them off politely.
@@mosytube fair enough. It certainly falls into a gray area and depends on local culture. Where I’m from it could considered rude to not accept a gift for any reason. Denying it once might be fine but any more and it’s rude.
Some very good tips there James. Thank you for the vdeo.
Fantastic video
You have a good deep voice .... you'll do a good narrator.
Man not making nuff Ps fam 😂 Liqquel mummy’s boy neva had dumplings 😂😂😂
I vibe with this guy heavy
When you said, something heavy… I immediately thought 🤔 Beretta 9mm and two spair mags!!! What does that make me?
American... 😄
I'm from Bangladesh where it's always scorching hot so carrying a handkerchief is always a life saver
Pro Tip: Try to have 2 handkerchiefs One for your personal use and one for your lady friend
Also make sure the fabric is Linen not Cotton
Cotton becomes stinky and don't last very long after heavy use
My father always carried a white handkerchief of finely woven cotton. Bought a dozen at a time. After use, mother would soak them in light bleach solution, then wash & iron. Rotation helped their longevity. Linen is a great suggestion, too.
You should do more on interior design
Im glad that i do most of these things but the handkerchief is a good tip im gonna try this one
Thanks for you content. 👏🏿
Good gesture to follow if someone does something for you always send thank you card and small gift like desert in mail
Thank you for the tips. Might I enquire about which fountain pen you personally use?I’m looking to collect the pens of people that I take inspiration from. Thanks in advance
✅ Great video 😀 Great advice - Thank you !
Offer to help someone with a stroller up/down stairs or through a heavy door.
How exactly have I to imagine the „helping a woman with her seatbelt?“ Do I wait at the door until she sits down and then lean over her like a parent with their child or do I help her while I already sit on my seat?
Probably you should watch some kind of "tutorial" but i'd guess that it'll be better when you lean over her and buckle her seatbelt. You should help her get safety in the vehicle before you get into vehicle.
I'm 27 and i need this Lesson
I love that beige sport jacket in this video