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Say there ..., Mind if I ask you a few questions if you don't mind but..., 1) In your opinion, What Percentage of people use profanity, And , What percentage dont, and why, 2) Also, dose it bother you to the point that you would get tired of it, And , 3) Now if it were up to you, would you do something about it, to change it ?
That's because toxic people are normalized, and professionalism is not taken seriously by the majority of people. Inevitably they get promoted, and then you deal with this once power dynamics have been introduced.
They're usually subtle... passive aggression that can infect the workplace - frankly they're weak on self management, always leveraging off others for energy...it's pathetic.
Not just weak on self-management, but also totally fake, empty and shallow deep inside. Moreover, they not just leverage off others for energy only, but at the same time for ideations, contributions, etc., knowing very well that they themselves are not creative, skilled or talented enough.
My current manager is very subtle. The first two months I started she wouldn’t even look me in the eyes when we had a conversation. she makes me so uncomfortable that I’m so anxious when I’m at work.
Toxic! In one of the meeting with my boss she literally told me after 18 years “you’re not here because you deserve to be . You’re here because I have allowed you to be here”. The many years of abuse have literally made me question the universe. I’m 50 years old. Starting over does not feel like an option. Praying for all of you with the same fate
I'm in the same boat as I am over 50 years old and have been with the company for 20 years. I don't want to start over, and who would even hire me due to my age? I feel I'm just screwed.
Don’t lose hope. Last year I interviewed a man in his mid 60s for an analyst role I was filling. He brought lots of experience and great energy to the interview. I gave the green light to be interviewed by my VP before drafting an offer and he was picked up by another company before we could even schedule the next round. While ageism definitely exists, if you bring experience and good energy you’re way ahead of the competition. Seasoned candidates are a gift to the right hiring manager.
That is crap! I’m in my late 60s and I will be moving away from my toxic boss/workplace as soon as possible. You can do it! Get the book “Ask the Headhunter” and move on! What a horrible woman.
@tracya8007 You don't have to start over, just be patient and start a side hustle in other words try another source of income while you still in your job anything that you are good at and you do it with little effort is a talent or a gift, use it to earn extra income so if push come to shove you will be still earning money in the meantime do a course outside your job description example online earnings, weekends or something extra in the evenings, think about it I'm doing it right now
I was in a double bind with my toxic boss because the better my performance was the more jealous she got of the praise I was getting from others. She would take it out on me by restricting who I was allowed to talk to in the company and would belittle me in meetings to show her power. I got out. Couldn’t win. I was damned if I did well and damned if I failed. I literally had to ask my coworkers to stop complimenting me ☹️
I'm dealing with this. It's being set up to fail the catch 22 do a good job no acknowledgement then nitpicking over the most minute mistake. I started feeling like the place is setting people up to fail & recently was told by a coworker that's worked there for yrs they started getting that feeling too that they are deliberately setting up employees to fail. That has helped me to put things in proper perspective because I never told anyone I feel like the company is setting employees up to fail I kept that completely to myself. Here I'm thinking we're basically on the same team it's about being as productive & as efficient as we can be & they are deliberately putting obstacles in employees way a lot of gaslighting is in this environment gobs of it. Turnover rate is extremely high & it's the voluntary termination. A lot of manipulation going on.
I believe this is a thing in large organizations with a lot of established hierarchy. When there is a team member who can get things done in a more cost effective, efficient, and innovative way there are OG’s there bogging everything down because you have to pay homage to all of their seniority by maintaining the status quo or letting 900 people weigh on everything… Someone always feels threatened and finds a way to undermine an up and comer. It’s the epitome of group think and it squashes passion and any intrinsic rewards for being creative and competent for folks who bring fresh perspectives. My antidote to this is to go the self employed route. It sucks when you are a fast learner but are told to stay in your box and grow slower than you’re capable of.
My current situation. The more competent you are the more work you get on your plate. It’s such BS because the dumb dumbs still get the favoritism and rewards.
I'm going through this hell right now. I don't want to quit and my only way to deal with the whole situation (favoritism, gaslighting) is to be patient, stay under radar and wait for my boss to be transferred to another store one day. Minimizing contacts with his favorites is a big help to surviving too.
@@tinamallin2570Truth! This favouriting certain coworkers is alive and well in my workplace. I’m secretly hoping one of them decides to leave. Divine timing!! 😅
So same! Ugh! I went from being unfairly fired by a horrid Narcissistic boss to 3 months later getting hired at my new job and now my new boss is showing HER true colors and has begun micromanaging me. I KNOW its not me, I've been in healthcare since 2005 and have always been fortunate to have kind managers and at the very least tolerable coworkers. But it seems things took a turn after 2020 cause it's been toxic workplace after toxic workplace. Its a friggin nightmare and I wonder if now I'm just a magnet for these types? Idk I can't reflect too much cause apparently I'm off to job hop YET AGAIN sigh
I am being micro managed then asked how will I show the other staff I’m a leader. I have been there 2 weeks and I am expected to be a leader…..this is a 18 month contract
I don't know why we don't have laws to protect the common worker from this nonsense. Yeah, we have commissions and unions, but they only apply to certain states and commissions hardly help at all.
I agree. I have a supervisor that is always verbally attacking me and one other person. The crazy thing is majority of my coworkers are black or mixed race. Only two of us are white. And the supervisor is white. But she will only attack the white people.., it’s crazy. All my coworkers have noticed. We have just chocked it down to her being insane..
If your boss is toxic don’t be excellent and go above and beyond - they will never be satisfied and will just press you more and more. Do what you need to stay under the radar and use your time and energy to look for another job asap!
I stayed for months cos I love my job. He said I had to learn his way and mind you only his way no way but only him. Ridiculous as it May seems, but I’m willing to learn and be open mind to learn his skills and unlearned mine to adapt his version and I succeeded months later and did well according to him. Mind you it wasn’t easy to change nor easy transition and daily criticism and scolded publicly every single day. But Im glad I made it and was looking forward for better days and soon to be one of their permanent employee. Never expected one day, i was called by HR and I was informed its time to confirm my permanent spot and yet to be given any feedback from my boss so I need to follow up. Little did I know drama awaits me thereafter. I was called in more frequent than usual. It wasn’t a good sight to others. It felt like I’m back to school days. The job wasn’t difficult but is the person that’s making it difficult. Hence, they concluded I will be laid off or I can choose to resign voluntarily to avoid bad review on my paper. I wasn’t given reasonable explanation I was adamant and it got ugly after that, I was convinced I done a great job privately behind the scene, but was severely verbally bashed gaslighted publicly and during HR session i was severely traumatised and mentally emotionally drained succumbed to gaslighted drama and documenting everything to proof my actions and presented to HR but to no avail. They rejected my appeal and I had no choice but to leave.😢
I made the choice to leave that environment and it was 100% worth it. I am me again. Happy bubbly wanting to be around people. Vs just going to work and home and not wanting to do anything
Double whammy for me, I’m being bullied by my immediate supervisor and his boss. I chose leaving, life too short and they’re not worth my mental health.
My boss bullies by proxy. She’s toxic because she listens to gossip then brings it to you. She’s insecure and the more you shine, the more insecure she gets. She constantly lies and is inconsistent. Anytime you have a good day, you can’t get comfortable because she will soon put you down with awful “false feedback.”
Exactly. And most of the time you’re (meaning people in general) are not TRYING to outshine e anyone. The BEST efforts are being put forward and insecure people can’t handle it. Or they may think that you want their job. It’s crazy.
I had written proof of all events with my toxic boss when I was questioned. Still I lost. Nobody cared what I had documented. They didn't even care to look when I presented them. They just shook their heads. The decision was already made.
I’m in a situation at my work place. I’ve decided to stay working for a toxic boss for 4 yrs now. I knew who she is for a while now and there have been sooooo many time when I wanted nothing more than to walk out. So many other people have while I’ve been there! But I couldn’t afford to just quit so I stayed, I tried to reframe, I tried to look at and focus on the positives and while it helps me cope I can only hold it for so long. A recent incident brought me to my breaking point. I can’t allow myself to keep going through this! I’m DONE! She’s out of town this week so I have a little peace and figure out a new job so when she’s back, I can finally put in my notice. Wish me luck 🍀
Your mental health is all that matters. Maybe start your own business, it can boost your cv. I truly wish you all the luck should you put in your notice.
@@sigmawolf7898 Going through that right now. Sorry that you had the same. I'm nervous, but getting pumped about the next chapter in my life. Rooting for you! 💪 🙌
Doing everything right and I know I do one hell of a job cause my dad taught that in me never half ass anything do it right the first time and I’ll never have to go back . Boss favors a guy who should of been written up way befor me she took all my supervisor status away meaning I have no say so everything goes through boss and still except me to improve told her I took everything that I was comfortable with and made it uncomfortable if it’s about ur job I went to the hire ups reigional on. My case more then just one also have witnesses who say they micro managing
I wish I could do that,Had the Main boss on my back the other week over another issie,She called me through again the 2nd time,Dale can I have a word please,I went through,I telling her what been going on,She back lipping me and talking to me at the same time,Also had the same problem of the other Manager,Back lipping,Means when two people talking both at once,How that gets problems solved,Also found all that rather RUDE as well
What's even worse about toxic managers are their insecurities. They just can't stand the fact that people who are junior to them in rank, or who simply report to them, can be more skilled and/or talented than them. Such constant insecurities displayed by some managers are what makes the working relationship all the more "toxic".
A toxic boss will not be appeased so going above and beyond will just get the most insecure of that boss type targeting you to keep you in your lane. You should want to do a good job to win allies and gain influence to go around them. The best defense is to not let them get you out of character.
Had one Toxic boss in the past. "He micromanaged every day and almost just get my hand to do the work how he want it to be. Worst thing, he yell at you when things is not on his expected way.".
Excellent advice Mike. Number one goal must be to find a way for YOU to survive. The toxic boss and HR departments are not concerned with your health or well being. I have been so wrapped up in thinking about my career, about the company, and about my boss that I forgot I was tearing my body and brain apart trying to be everything to everyone. Thank you.
I found out secrets, being homeless. I think. But me thinking big is ummm. If I ever start a business on anything I don't feel like I know that much about anything and I'm prob already making up excuses for myself but entering that kind of territory is like I can't even conjure up that many thoughts on how to. How to hopefully be successful (enough..) w/ out losing my head 🤔. I just wanna live like bobs burgers 😋. I'd never hafta walk outside. Or barelt
It doesnt help when your new job require your boss as a reference. I was offered a job, but they had to talk to my boss first, even though I had good references. Im gonna be jobless the rest of my life.
Most bosses need to be held accountable for their actions and send to a therapist. Idk why they think they can just project their misery onto others and think it's ok to abuse others
I'm 70. I work PART-TIME. The amount of poison directed at me on a daily basis feels like a tsunami. The company I work for is awful, but they were the ONLY employer that would hire me. In my eight months, 7 young workers quit with zero notice. Others acted insulted when paid $16 hr with NO experience. America is over with and I am saddened more each day.
I'm a nurse and I have a good eye for detail. I notice little cues that indicate the patient is in danger, and so far, I have been right 100% of the time. Whenever I tell the nurse manager about the danger, she will turn it around on me and say I'm trying to get the team in trouble. I absolutely do not care about the gossip culture. I do not care about the drama. My SOLE RESPONSIBILITY is preventing the patient from harm and suffering. Often times the danger comes from things being missed. Just yesterday, a patient began to bleed into their abdomen because of a surgical error, and because the wound was not monitored or documented-on by the previous shift. If someone gets in trouble, I don't even think about that part. All I care about is the half gallon of blood pooling in the patient's abdomen. Yet I'm the bad guy for having found it and having prevented further complication and even death.
I’m sorry they hurt you. This is the opportunity for you to take your power back. Do multiple things to improve your own self-esteem never put it in the hands of anyone other than God, and the very healthy people he will put in your pathway.
No feeling is final ,feelings are not facts, this happened FOR you NOT to you. I hope you can reframe re see and rethink this situation you benefit !!!!
I was going to quit the other week,I thought If I quit my Job to early,Don't really want to regret it,Wont regret it no more,Enough is enough now,Be cracking up next
The people at your former job helped you in some regard: they showed you how sh!tty they were, and, that they didn't deserve your time and effort. It's like that at my current workplace, and I'm looking for something better.
I change jobs maybe once every two years, so i have mastered the exit strategy. Most often, I leave because the environment is too harsh ( lots of cussing, gossip, bullying, heated exchanges), and the government tends to have the most toxic work environments, in my opinion. My recent position as a federal employee is making me seriously reevaluate this work thing, and i have been seriously considering self employment.
Document, keep your cool, and the grey rock method works like a charm. Don't respond to anything unreasonable and document. This way you will protect your peace, and they will eventually sabotage themselves. Remember, your boss is being watched more so than you!
I started a new job it’s been 5 weeks. He doesn’t like me talking to the head of our department acting very insecure he reports to him. He is very rude and has anger issues. But I like the job. Shall I leave ?
@@gurugamer8632 I would say weigh out the pro and cons. If the job is for the betterment of your career and lifestyle, then I would not let some fool stop me from my purpose or position. You may have his job sooner than later anyway. Protect your peace!
Dealing with it now! It’s sucking the life out of me. As soon as one of us leave the room he is talking g about us. He brought up a medical problem of mine to several co workers of mine and they told me. I have had perfect attendance for almost 2 years, do a good job and keep to myself. Anytime I ask a question or to use time off I get bitched at. I’m about at my boiling point. I do not want to leave.
@@HisExcellencyx Managers never say what they mean... except when they yell at you in the office with your supervisor present. The Supervisor quit the next day... never saw her again. I knew the manager wanted me to quit, that's why he was quiet firing me, but I resisted him at every step. Pissed him off good. He was transferred to another store because a PhD therapist reported that I shouldn't be returned to the same environment. I got fired by his successor. The story is much much longer. But I've bored everyone enough. lolz Thanks for replying.
@@HisExcellencyx You said it. I hold no hope in getting hired. Employers see me and my size and instantly think I can be the heavy lifter they've been looking for. My c5-c6 disk is gone and I'm 57... doesn't seem to matter. Now, I am trying to deal in rare stones. Wish me luck. lol
Put a friendly coworker (preferably senior in rank- ie., supervisor or manager in another section) as your contact and brief them about the possibility that they’ll get a reference call about you. Because a bad boss will give you a poor reference and will try to destroy your future opportunities. Also, HR is NOT on your side - they only care about the company’s image and in protecting management and the structure. Junior staff can be replaced and simply aren’t valued.
Absolutely fucking true. They make u feel like they’re ur buddy and then try to turn the other against you then say they’re “just joking” when u stand up for yourself
About that point "excel at your work", because it makes my toxic boss look good and me less of a target. Bad advice. Terrible advice in my case. My schizophrenic, narcistic boss doesn't even understand that context how my work makes her look good. She has an utter misperception of reality. No matter how hard I work, I remain the target.
I'm in the same place but my advantage is that I have a lot of visibility with the great work I'm doing with other top architects... He wants to shut me out of meetings with the powerful people but I don't let him... and they keep directing all their questions to me because they know I'm the guy who has the answers and does all the work... He absolutely hates me. He'll probably try to fire me soon because he sees me as a threat but I won't make it easy.
At a job i was at, this one guy got promoted to management after it was known he got two employees pregnant at the same time. We were speechless. Everyone's mouth drop when it was announced at our meeting.
This is great advice. I’m without knowing doing all this. I keep my head down, deliver the best quality work. Try to stay ahead of the drama my boss brings up. I also don’t tell anything negative about my boss to my coworkers. It’s extremely hard but it is what it is. I love this advice. Taking it one day and a time is my approach right now!!
My last Mgr was toxic. She destroyed my reputation thru lies and gossip. She also had a coworker harass and bully me in front of all my coworkers. Thankfully I’m no longer in this job 🙌
Evrybody just so toxic nowdays,I can't keep count, how many jobs I walked away from in the year of 2023,I just quit one,as I'm typing, not letting nobody stealing my joy.any sign of toxicity I'm out of the door.im a nurse it's easy for me to find work.
This is hands down the best advice I have watched. You nailed it. I work in this circus every day. A total Freak show! In order to keep a mental balance, I wear one pod in my left ear playing scriptures ( God reminds me what not to do, the flesh is weak) , so that the right ear taking in the garbage does not send the wrong message to my brain. My motto every day is head down, mouth shut until they deliberately drag you into their drama and you have no choice but to defend yourself. The sad thing is that when normal people join the company and then realize the freak show they are in, they begin to normalize the environment and take part in the behavior because they have bills to pay. I am the rumor on the gossip mill, (which the owners/management love, as they rule by favoritism not performance) because I do not engage unless I am asking for information to do my job, or saying "good morning, good evening, or good night".
Very wise to listen to the gospel. I have to pray on the way to work that I don’t lose my cool and say things I will regret. Jesus is always looking out for His children. I always keep in mind that one day we will be in glory with Him and this will all just fade away. God bless you
Just did a search so I could help my fiance deal with his terrible supervisor, and stumbled across this video. Very clear cut and sound advice. Thank you very much🎉❤
I think that only works if you're on the boss's is good side. If you're not on the bus is good side then you're damned if you do and damned if you don't and you're going to be chased out eventually
yep, had to deal with a toxic boss in my last company. the biggest give away was that i often felt uncomfortable around that person, i had to watch every word i said, and it felt like i was walking on egg shells. i didn't feel that way about other managers i had worked with at that company, nor do i feel this way about people at my current company.
A toxic boss will destroy your life. Sleep deprive you. Micromanage you. Berate you. Instruct othets to mob you. And bc of the power imbalance, they destroy you
Toxic - when I figured it out, I started writing everything she told me to do on one of those school notebooks. When she denied telling me to do something, I brought it out and she never did it again.
Toxic is toxic. Even if we can prove it and that person is reprimanded, they become vengeful and even more passive, and the environment becomes even more hostile than it was before you said something. Best just to leave.
I put in my resignation yesterday. It's one week but I had to do it. I'm going on vacation the following week, which will become a little bit of a work vacation. This is why you always keep a 2nd and maybe even 3rd income. I have been working a part-time weekend job since the holiday season of 2023. I'm also able to sub if need be to pick up more slack. If you don't see a real future, then let it go to keep your mental health. It's just not worth it. I realize that I will never have peace until I have my own business. My vacation will be utilized to plan. You're always going to have haters in the workplace. Some people are just miserable and will do anything to bring others down, if you let them
Great advice! The stressful thing is you can't really let your guard down even when certain co-workers seem kind and talkative they may talk to the boss behind your back and try to sabotage you when you haven't said a single thing about the boss. It could be an innocuous comment about something to do with the job and all of a sudden you can sense things have shifted. Will never be open with co-workers again, helpful and friendly that´s it nothing remotely deeper than that.
6:32 You do want to document everything so that if HR comes after the toxic boss, you can help the company get rid of him. But that will only happen if someone above the toxic boss complains first. If you volunteer the documentation, then HR will ignore the evidence and YOU will become the target.
Sadly, this happened to me. I brought documentation to HR to report my toxic boss & in the meeting (with my boss present) they flipped the entire meeting on me & it became about my performance as an employee. They completely dismissed everything.
After a toxic session, I go back to my office and email my wonderfully toxic little man, stating, "Thank you for meeting with me today. Just to be clear with your expectations, you wanted me to do a, b, c, d, etc." Now you have a record email for your file. If they answer, they may just fix what they were saying, or they may not answer, which means you just clipped his wings. There is always a way to protect yourself - well, almost always.
Do yourself a favor and don’t go to HR. HR is NOT there for the employee. HR is for the company. They will always protect the company. If your toxic boss in the position they are, it is because they know how to sell themselves better than you. They will sell to HR how it is not them.
Thanks for your video. It has given me the clarity of how to take things into our control. I am going to make this trauma in office as a spring board for my future. At the moment I am not sure what it would be but I would not let the toxic situation in my office spoil my life. As a first step I have decided to quit smoking and look forward for a healthier life. Thanks once again.
Filing a report to the state labor board, filing a lawsuit, quitting, baiting them into firing you without breaking the law or making yourself ineligible for unemployment (when possible). Works for me.
Thank you for the advice, my boss hates me, his calling HR on me for a second time in a row. I’m so sick of this, it’s never ending. I can’t leave since I don’t have any job lined up and need this job to pay my bills. 😢
Toxic: all the points mentioned in this video matches exactly to what I am facing with that person right now. It's mental stress and nightmare. I figured this out and was left shocked and frozen. I suffered a lot. now I am going to watch other videos to get clarity if the whole workplace is toxic or is it only one person. It's close to a year now with this guy and in my career this is first time I experienced this.
I have a toxic boss and didn't even realize it for a long time. You mentioned like 5 things that fit the description, and he has little man syndrome. Thanks for helping me realize what i must now do.
I’m in hell working for a toxic boss and she’s the company owner. The only thing keeping me from quitting is that my salary is extremely high for what I do and I need the money to support my family. I have an exit strategy and that’s to start my own company. I’ve already registered it and now just need to do the legwork of getting clients. I pray every day that I can leave this job and never work for another narc for the rest of my days.
My boss called me a liar and manipulator for no apparent reason, says I’m setting him up when I ask a question, nitpicks , belittles, blames his mistakes on me, he has scrambled my brain with gaslighting. And now I’m expected to supervise my own employee. I have no self worth and no confidence left.
I wished I came across your video one year before. I did the mistake of trusting the toxic boss I was working for and luckily my work was above par and I had documentations for things. I fought the battle all the way to the CEO and HR. Although my original role was taken away and I was given a lesser role, I did my best during that period. My toxic boss was promoted and I had a new boss. My new boss realised that I was framed n I was given my job back.
Toxic - had a boss who disliked honesty. I made the mistake of being honest. She targeted me so hard - I’ve that place now. She was manipulative, a liar, gaslighter, would get colleagues to report back to her everything and anything I said. It was hell. Constantly giving me her work which would remove me from my own work and destroy my stats. She was sick alright.
Reading the comments, now I know why I have no energy and just want to go home to do nothing! It’s amazing how stress at work can affect your health! My current boss is toxic, sadly have had toxic bosses in the past and none of them are as toxic as this one! Have worked with him now for 6 years, 3 of them him being my boss and dreaming of the day he gets the boot! Getting tired hoping this and wondering if I should leave
I’m working for one right now and my life is miserable… it’s a catch 22 all around . It’s a family business and the son is just out of control and no matter what I say or tell the owner he does no wrong .
My boss likes to yell out peoples names at random to get a rise out of them resulting in people starring. Feels demoralizing says he just likes yelling out my name sometimes it’s confusing if he’s yelling for me if he needs to ask me a question.
I recently discovered that my boss hired me intending to help him forget the woman he almost left his wife for... After putting in hours of my own personal time researching more about my job and getting heavily invested in it, this is what I get revealed to. I no longer have the care or pride in the job. I never stay at a job just for the money and this is a prime example. I've been in leadership positions before and it takes a certain mentality and personality to be a genuine boss that helps employees feel comfortable working for. The job-hopping train is getting old, but I'd rather go back to that than work for someone who projects their personal problems onto others. My time is too precious to spend in the shadows of another person's unresolved struggles.
It sucks when your manager turns everyone against you. She tells them to not talk to me or ice me out. They do it. I'm singled out and not sure why. I quit once to go back to my old job but they were no better so i got hired back at my first job and they all acted super nice so i would not leave. Then they went back to treating me bad. They all lied to me ugh
I have had a toxic boss. I tell you textbook Toxic. I also documented everything and reported it all to Professional Standards and then had to report again because of retaliation.
Thank you for this had 15 minutes of no self worth after a gaslighting at work before realsing and getting my head clear. Went searching for help and advice and has validated everything. Along with the support of my coworkers really really helped me get out of a terrible head space. Thank you so much. I will be sharing this video. ❣
I told my boss that I will be looking for a new job if the situation carries on the same in our department. Short staffed and orders not going out of the door. We've since had two more people set on. Wouldn't worry me one bit if I had to leave as like you say, I'm in control.
Man it would have been nice if this could have been my reality at my last job. My toxic boss had created an environment where it was an authoritarian system under his control and approval, so much so that before the time I was there he fired/got rid of the HR team because he felt it was an annoyance. It’s a long story, but it appears that was worse than a toxic work environment. May I learn the skills to serve my future no matter than space, and have healthy boundaries went interacting with the toxic ones!
I’m dealing with someone who has been told they are going to be my boss, but they are not yet my boss. But have been making my life hell and I’m ready to leave the company I’ve been with for 7+ years.
Mike you must know my boss. LOL In my case I am female on an all male team. I was hired 5 years ago due to a "diversity push". I am not wanted there. I am either ignored or they check up on everything I do. Fine for year 1, but 5 years in I am over it. It is not other teams I work with - it is my boss and his boss and my team. This past week was kind of the last straw. I am in my 50s and had hoped to not switch jobs again, but this is ruining my health. I have some prospects and an interview and I get what you say about taking back my power. I do feel like I control something now that I am looking. For a while for some reason I felt at their mercy and stuck. It is very freeing shaking that behavior. I am going to watch all your videos. Thanks!
You can set boundaries in a polite manner, I am sure you can say "no" in a polite manner, I am sure you can say "don't" in a polite manner and I am absolutely sure you can ask your boss to send his requests in an email, yes, "black and white" instead of writing stuff down that can be easily thrown out. This is not fighting at all. To be honest this doesn't do much if nothing at all in a situation like that. Especially if lines are being crossed and lines will be crossed with a toxic boss. Based on experience and I have done what you said 10 years ago, you'll set yourself up to be taken advantage of. With anyone who is toxic the objective is to "put your foot down" In a polite manner I'm sure. That's how you realize you have power you thought you never had. Because living with anxiety has taught me that the only way to through is to stand up.
I wish I heard this before I quit. I had 3 of them absolutely toxic and evil - team leader/ line manager and operation manager- all of them playing together. Absolute disgust honestly, I had to look for a mental health and still I am working on myself . What was more disturbing is that HR and company policies are not there for you, they protect the bullies. In my case I had to run from a job that I really enjoyed doing only because of them. Oh yes, forget to tell that there is no law to act agains bullying too…. So no help from nowhere whatsoever….
I'm in my first ever assistant manager position. I'm fully convinced that my boss is a sociopath. She loves to gossip and force employees into quitting to avoid unemployment payouts. She is the epitome of "do as I say not as I do. "
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Say there ..., Mind if I ask you a few questions if you don't mind but..., 1) In your opinion, What Percentage of people use profanity, And , What percentage dont, and why, 2) Also, dose it bother you to the point that you would get tired of it, And , 3) Now if it were up to you, would you do something about it, to change it ?
It’s insane how common this has become. Having a toxic manager has a huge impact on our mental health as well
And the mental effects your physical
That's because toxic people are normalized, and professionalism is not taken seriously by the majority of people. Inevitably they get promoted, and then you deal with this once power dynamics have been introduced.
Crazy how it’s legal unless it’s discrimination. It’s no joke people end up suicidal over toxic work places they are stuck in to collect a check
Yeah you telling me...
( They make you freaked in the head , because thier freaked in the head themselves🤪🤪🤪🤪 )
@@ryanbarker3978 Big facts💯%
They're usually subtle... passive aggression that can infect the workplace - frankly they're weak on self management, always leveraging off others for energy...it's pathetic.
This is exactly it. The subtle passive aggression then favorable treatment of a few others makes me feel incredibly gaslit at times
they pretend they care for you, but they just enjoy hot and cold treatments, they view you as a toy
Not just weak on self-management, but also totally fake, empty and shallow deep inside. Moreover, they not just leverage off others for energy only, but at the same time for ideations, contributions, etc., knowing very well that they themselves are not creative, skilled or talented enough.
My current manager is very subtle. The first two months I started she wouldn’t even look me in the eyes when we had a conversation. she makes me so uncomfortable that I’m so anxious when I’m at work.
@@elexuswhitaker9401 Believe me I would get the same subtle / silent treatment , from my supervisor as well ( that jeckle and hyde persona... )
Toxic! In one of the meeting with my boss she literally told me after 18 years “you’re not here because you deserve to be . You’re here because I have allowed you to be here”. The many years of abuse have literally made me question the universe. I’m 50 years old. Starting over does not feel like an option. Praying for all of you with the same fate
I'm in the same boat as I am over 50 years old and have been with the company for 20 years. I don't want to start over, and who would even hire me due to my age? I feel I'm just screwed.
Don’t lose hope. Last year I interviewed a man in his mid 60s for an analyst role I was filling. He brought lots of experience and great energy to the interview. I gave the green light to be interviewed by my VP before drafting an offer and he was picked up by another company before we could even schedule the next round. While ageism definitely exists, if you bring experience and good energy you’re way ahead of the competition. Seasoned candidates are a gift to the right hiring manager.
That is crap! I’m in my late 60s and I will be moving away from my toxic boss/workplace as soon as possible. You can do it! Get the book “Ask the Headhunter” and move on! What a horrible woman.
Find a male boss/supervisor instead. You don't know until you try. So much for girl power :(
@tracya8007 You don't have to start over, just be patient and start a side hustle in other words try another source of income while you still in your job anything that you are good at and you do it with little effort is a talent or a gift, use it to earn extra income so if push come to shove you will be still earning money in the meantime do a course outside your job description example online earnings, weekends or something extra in the evenings, think about it I'm doing it right now
I was in a double bind with my toxic boss because the better my performance was the more jealous she got of the praise I was getting from others. She would take it out on me by restricting who I was allowed to talk to in the company and would belittle me in meetings to show her power. I got out. Couldn’t win. I was damned if I did well and damned if I failed. I literally had to ask my coworkers to stop complimenting me ☹️
Common
I'm dealing with this now. It's an awful situation to be in.
I'm dealing with this. It's being set up to fail the catch 22 do a good job no acknowledgement then nitpicking over the most minute mistake. I started feeling like the place is setting people up to fail & recently was told by a coworker that's worked there for yrs they started getting that feeling too that they are deliberately setting up employees to fail.
That has helped me to put things in proper perspective because I never told anyone I feel like the company is setting employees up to fail I kept that completely to myself.
Here I'm thinking we're basically on the same team it's about being as productive & as efficient as we can be & they are deliberately putting obstacles in employees way a lot of gaslighting is in this environment gobs of it. Turnover rate is extremely high & it's the voluntary termination. A lot of manipulation going on.
I believe this is a thing in large organizations with a lot of established hierarchy. When there is a team member who can get things done in a more cost effective, efficient, and innovative way there are OG’s there bogging everything down because you have to pay homage to all of their seniority by maintaining the status quo or letting 900 people weigh on everything… Someone always feels threatened and finds a way to undermine an up and comer. It’s the epitome of group think and it squashes passion and any intrinsic rewards for being creative and competent for folks who bring fresh perspectives.
My antidote to this is to go the self employed route. It sucks when you are a fast learner but are told to stay in your box and grow slower than you’re capable of.
I was in an identical situation
I have actually found that the harder I work, the more they bother me and the more work ends up on me
Can relate
Same here😢😢😢
This summarizes my last job.
Experiencing this for the past 6 months
My current situation. The more competent you are the more work you get on your plate. It’s such BS because the dumb dumbs still get the favoritism and rewards.
I'm going through this hell right now. I don't want to quit and my only way to deal with the whole situation (favoritism, gaslighting) is to be patient, stay under radar and wait for my boss to be transferred to another store one day. Minimizing contacts with his favorites is a big help to surviving too.
I feel this. I understand your struggle
Favoritism stinks it’s not fair for the other coworkers it’s really not
@@tinamallin2570Truth! This favouriting certain coworkers is alive and well in my workplace. I’m secretly hoping one of them decides to leave. Divine timing!! 😅
Retail is a breeding ground for toxicity…modern day slavery and abuse
I hate job hopping, but here I go again. Awful people everywhere.
So true. The corporate world is full of them. I’ve had the same experience.
So same! Ugh! I went from being unfairly fired by a horrid Narcissistic boss to 3 months later getting hired at my new job and now my new boss is showing HER true colors and has begun micromanaging me.
I KNOW its not me, I've been in healthcare since 2005 and have always been fortunate to have kind managers and at the very least tolerable coworkers. But it seems things took a turn after 2020 cause it's been toxic workplace after toxic workplace. Its a friggin nightmare and I wonder if now I'm just a magnet for these types? Idk I can't reflect too much cause apparently I'm off to job hop YET AGAIN sigh
I am being micro managed then asked how will I show the other staff I’m a leader. I have been there 2 weeks and I am expected to be a leader…..this is a 18 month contract
You will find something better Pal.
Just quit a toxic place where my ex boss was mad even what I throw on the garbage lol and how many bolts I used 😅
I don't know why we don't have laws to protect the common worker from this nonsense. Yeah, we have commissions and unions, but they only apply to certain states and commissions hardly help at all.
Dont let a Toxic Boss devalue you!☝
I agree. I have a supervisor that is always verbally attacking me and one other person. The crazy thing is majority of my coworkers are black or mixed race. Only two of us are white. And the supervisor is white. But she will only attack the white people.., it’s crazy. All my coworkers have noticed. We have just chocked it down to her being insane..
They are devalued , because there devalued , weather if it's by thier own boss ( es ) , or at home , its a domino effect...
Mine nearly did but I am rising up in the Name of Jesus
If your boss is toxic don’t be excellent and go above and beyond - they will never be satisfied and will just press you more and more.
Do what you need to stay under the radar and use your time and energy to look for another job asap!
Play the idiot and leave
Staying under the radar is important with a toxic boss
So true
I stayed for months cos I love my job. He said I had to learn his way and mind you only his way no way but only him. Ridiculous as it May seems, but I’m willing to learn and be open mind to learn his skills and unlearned mine to adapt his version and I succeeded months later and did well according to him. Mind you it wasn’t easy to change nor easy transition and daily criticism and scolded publicly every single day. But Im glad I made it and was looking forward for better days and soon to be one of their permanent employee. Never expected one day, i was called by HR and I was informed its time to confirm my permanent spot and yet to be given any feedback from my boss so I need to follow up. Little did I know drama awaits me thereafter. I was called in more frequent than usual. It wasn’t a good sight to others. It felt like I’m back to school days. The job wasn’t difficult but is the person that’s making it difficult. Hence, they concluded I will be laid off or I can choose to resign voluntarily to avoid bad review on my paper. I wasn’t given reasonable explanation I was adamant and it got ugly after that, I was convinced I done a great job privately behind the scene, but was severely verbally bashed gaslighted publicly and during HR session i was severely traumatised and mentally emotionally drained succumbed to gaslighted drama and documenting everything to proof my actions and presented to HR but to no avail. They rejected my appeal and I had no choice but to leave.😢
Yes! Or they're threatened because you're better than them
I made the choice to leave that environment and it was 100% worth it. I am me again. Happy bubbly wanting to be around people. Vs just going to work and home and not wanting to do anything
Love it.
My goal right now 😁
I'm at this place.
I stayed for 15 month extra at my job I found a exit strategy Yes I made my decision and felt my control coming back
@hygienistcindy6107 love this response!!!!
Double whammy for me, I’m being bullied by my immediate supervisor and his boss. I chose leaving, life too short and they’re not worth my mental health.
My boss bullies by proxy. She’s toxic because she listens to gossip then brings it to you. She’s insecure and the more you shine, the more insecure she gets. She constantly lies and is inconsistent. Anytime you have a good day, you can’t get comfortable because she will soon put you down with awful “false feedback.”
Try to find a male boss in your organisation. if you don't try, you won't know.
Exactly. And most of the time you’re (meaning people in general) are not TRYING to outshine e anyone. The BEST efforts are being put forward and insecure people can’t handle it. Or they may think that you want their job. It’s crazy.
Is it my imagination or are the toxic bosses usually a SHE? The comments are replete with evidence of this.
I had written proof of all events with my toxic boss when I was questioned. Still I lost. Nobody cared what I had documented. They didn't even care to look when I presented them. They just shook their heads. The decision was already made.
That is definitely 💯 my work place‼️
mine too!
I’m in a situation at my work place. I’ve decided to stay working for a toxic boss for 4 yrs now. I knew who she is for a while now and there have been sooooo many time when I wanted nothing more than to walk out. So many other people have while I’ve been there! But I couldn’t afford to just quit so I stayed, I tried to reframe, I tried to look at and focus on the positives and while it helps me cope I can only hold it for so long. A recent incident brought me to my breaking point. I can’t allow myself to keep going through this! I’m DONE! She’s out of town this week so I have a little peace and figure out a new job so when she’s back, I can finally put in my notice. Wish me luck 🍀
Your mental health is all that matters. Maybe start your own business, it can boost your cv. I truly wish you all the luck should you put in your notice.
Do they try to trigger you on purpose? My worst mistake was confiding in them with personal life situations.
@@sigmawolf7898 Going through that right now. Sorry that you had the same. I'm nervous, but getting pumped about the next chapter in my life. Rooting for you! 💪 🙌
@MetallicBluegreenFlame I'm still going through it. Other people at work see it too. Hope you get through this and grow, my brother!
Doing everything right and I know I do one hell of a job cause my dad taught that in me never half ass anything do it right the first time and I’ll never have to go back . Boss favors a guy who should of been written up way befor me she took all my supervisor status away meaning I have no say so everything goes through boss and still except me to improve told her I took everything that I was comfortable with and made it uncomfortable if it’s about ur job I went to the hire ups reigional on. My case more then just one also have witnesses who say they micro managing
My toxic manager just got fired today ! Me and my workmates reported him to operation manager and to the senior managers .
In my case, all the managers will listen to my toxic boss. So it won't work for me as I am a contract employee.
Praise Jesus Hallelujah get behind thee Satan
I wish I could do that,Had the Main boss on my back the other week over another issie,She called me through again the 2nd time,Dale can I have a word please,I went through,I telling her what been going on,She back lipping me and talking to me at the same time,Also had the same problem of the other Manager,Back lipping,Means when two people talking both at once,How that gets problems solved,Also found all that rather RUDE as well
What's even worse about toxic managers are their insecurities. They just can't stand the fact that people who are junior to them in rank, or who simply report to them, can be more skilled and/or talented than them.
Such constant insecurities displayed by some managers are what makes the working relationship all the more "toxic".
A toxic boss will not be appeased so going above and beyond will just get the most insecure of that boss type targeting you to keep you in your lane. You should want to do a good job to win allies and gain influence to go around them. The best defense is to not let them get you out of character.
Toxic bosses target non neurotypical people in particular. It's awful. Like having an alcoholic parent. I hope my next company is better.
Or a school bully smh...
Had one Toxic boss in the past. "He micromanaged every day and almost just get my hand to do the work how he want it to be. Worst thing, he yell at you when things is not on his expected way.".
Excellent advice Mike. Number one goal must be to find a way for YOU to survive. The toxic boss and HR departments are not concerned with your health or well being.
I have been so wrapped up in thinking about my career, about the company, and about my boss that I forgot I was tearing my body and brain apart trying to be everything to everyone.
Thank you.
Quit. Start working for yourself. That is what I had to do. Left the world of laboratories behind and became a contractor. Best thing I did.
Challenging, but the payoff is soooo good
I found out secrets, being homeless. I think. But me thinking big is ummm. If I ever start a business on anything I don't feel like I know that much about anything and I'm prob already making up excuses for myself but entering that kind of territory is like I can't even conjure up that many thoughts on how to. How to hopefully be successful (enough..) w/ out losing my head 🤔. I just wanna live like bobs burgers 😋. I'd never hafta walk outside. Or barelt
Never gossip with your co-workers about your boss.
I have a jealous boss and nearly left.
I decided to stay and fight
No more running
I’ve confided my frustration with one coworker (and over text 😅) I trust him but I do regret it. Tempted to ask him if he would delete those texts
Best option: get your CV, apply for jobs, and prepare for interviews! You got it!
It doesnt help when your new job require your boss as a reference. I was offered a job, but they had to talk to my boss first, even though I had good references. Im gonna be jobless the rest of my life.
CV??
@@paubloblanco2828currículum vitae. Basically a resume. The term is more common in academic and research fields.
@@RosemarieFit ook coo thanks! Lol
Most bosses need to be held accountable for their actions and send to a therapist.
Idk why they think they can just project their misery onto others and think it's ok to abuse others
I'm 70. I work PART-TIME. The amount of poison directed at me on a daily basis feels like a tsunami. The company I work for is awful, but they were the ONLY employer that would hire me. In my eight months, 7 young workers quit with zero notice. Others acted insulted when paid $16 hr with NO experience. America is over with and I am saddened more each day.
I'm a nurse and I have a good eye for detail. I notice little cues that indicate the patient is in danger, and so far, I have been right 100% of the time.
Whenever I tell the nurse manager about the danger, she will turn it around on me and say I'm trying to get the team in trouble.
I absolutely do not care about the gossip culture. I do not care about the drama. My SOLE RESPONSIBILITY is preventing the patient from harm and suffering. Often times the danger comes from things being missed. Just yesterday, a patient began to bleed into their abdomen because of a surgical error, and because the wound was not monitored or documented-on by the previous shift. If someone gets in trouble, I don't even think about that part. All I care about is the half gallon of blood pooling in the patient's abdomen. Yet I'm the bad guy for having found it and having prevented further complication and even death.
It was so released at the moment when my toxic boss fired me. I am so happy now
I should’ve quit earlier. I waited too long and it weakened my confidence level.
I’m sorry they hurt you. This is the opportunity for you to take your power back. Do multiple things to improve your own self-esteem never put it in the hands of anyone other than God, and the very healthy people he will put in your pathway.
No feeling is final ,feelings are not facts, this happened FOR you NOT to you.
I hope you can reframe re see and rethink this situation you benefit !!!!
How do you get a new job then. They always require your boss as a reference. I should never had quit. Now im gonna be jobless the rest of my life.
I was going to quit the other week,I thought If I quit my Job to early,Don't really want to regret it,Wont regret it no more,Enough is enough now,Be cracking up next
The people at your former job helped you in some regard: they showed you how sh!tty they were, and, that they didn't deserve your time and effort.
It's like that at my current workplace, and I'm looking for something better.
I change jobs maybe once every two years, so i have mastered the exit strategy. Most often, I leave because the environment is too harsh ( lots of cussing, gossip, bullying, heated exchanges), and the government tends to have the most toxic work environments, in my opinion. My recent position as a federal employee is making me seriously reevaluate this work thing, and i have been seriously considering self employment.
OMG so true!!! 😢
Healthcare is rife with toxic individuals too. 😢
Education and restaurants have been the most toxic for me. But I really do think it is very widespread.
The government is where all the demons reside.
@@SongofaBeach2012 healthcare is pretty much government
Document, keep your cool, and the grey rock method works like a charm. Don't respond to anything unreasonable and document. This way you will protect your peace, and they will eventually sabotage themselves. Remember, your boss is being watched more so than you!
I started a new job it’s been 5 weeks. He doesn’t like me talking to the head of our department acting very insecure he reports to him. He is very rude and has anger issues. But I like the job. Shall I leave ?
@@gurugamer8632 I would say weigh out the pro and cons. If the job is for the betterment of your career and lifestyle, then I would not let some fool stop me from my purpose or position. You may have his job sooner than later anyway. Protect your peace!
@@gurugamer8632how are you doing? I hope all worked out for you
Just do the absolute minimum and disengage never to engage again.
Dealing with it now! It’s sucking the life out of me. As soon as one of us leave the room he is talking g about us. He brought up a medical problem of mine to several co workers of mine and they told me. I have had perfect attendance for almost 2 years, do a good job and keep to myself. Anytime I ask a question or to use time off I get bitched at. I’m about at my boiling point. I do not want to leave.
I don't have a boss, I have a 'manager'. I resent having to share oxygen with that demon.
😂❤
He literally calls himself a demon as a joke lol well I don’t think he’s funny he really might be a demon 😞
😂
😂😂😂😂😂
HAHAHAH true
It was my first week at the company. My boss told me that I won't give you any freedom until you prove yourself to me.
He didn't ruined my life. He ruined my ability to get another job. Guaranteed that if I ever get the actual evidence there will be charges laid.
@@HisExcellencyx Managers never say what they mean... except when they yell at you in the office with your supervisor present. The Supervisor quit the next day... never saw her again.
I knew the manager wanted me to quit, that's why he was quiet firing me, but I resisted him at every step. Pissed him off good. He was transferred to another store because a PhD therapist reported that I shouldn't be returned to the same environment. I got fired by his successor.
The story is much much longer. But I've bored everyone enough. lolz
Thanks for replying.
@@HisExcellencyx You said it. I hold no hope in getting hired. Employers see me and my size and instantly think I can be the heavy lifter they've been looking for. My c5-c6 disk is gone and I'm 57... doesn't seem to matter.
Now, I am trying to deal in rare stones. Wish me luck. lol
Put a friendly coworker (preferably senior in rank- ie., supervisor or manager in another section) as your contact and brief them about the possibility that they’ll get a reference call about you. Because a bad boss will give you a poor reference and will try to destroy your future opportunities. Also, HR is NOT on your side - they only care about the company’s image and in protecting management and the structure. Junior staff can be replaced and simply aren’t valued.
Absolutely fucking true. They make u feel like they’re ur buddy and then try to turn the other against you then say they’re “just joking” when u stand up for yourself
About that point "excel at your work", because it makes my toxic boss look good and me less of a target. Bad advice. Terrible advice in my case. My schizophrenic, narcistic boss doesn't even understand that context how my work makes her look good. She has an utter misperception of reality. No matter how hard I work, I remain the target.
I'm in the same place but my advantage is that I have a lot of visibility with the great work I'm doing with other top architects... He wants to shut me out of meetings with the powerful people but I don't let him... and they keep directing all their questions to me because they know I'm the guy who has the answers and does all the work... He absolutely hates me. He'll probably try to fire me soon because he sees me as a threat but I won't make it easy.
At a job i was at, this one guy got promoted to management after it was known he got two employees pregnant at the same time. We were speechless. Everyone's mouth drop when it was announced at our meeting.
Well...sounds like he could use the extra money
This is great advice. I’m without knowing doing all this. I keep my head down, deliver the best quality work. Try to stay ahead of the drama my boss brings up. I also don’t tell anything negative about my boss to my coworkers. It’s extremely hard but it is what it is. I love this advice. Taking it one day and a time is my approach right now!!
I’m about to go in tomorrow. I needed to hear this. Thanks for the strength while waiting for a new offer.
My last Mgr was toxic. She destroyed my reputation thru lies and gossip. She also had a coworker harass and bully me in front of all my coworkers. Thankfully I’m no longer in this job 🙌
With such a red flag boss she has another thing coming
@@christianbenn316 yes she does.
Damn. This made my eyes water from hope. Thank you.
There’s always hope. If nothing else.
Evrybody just so toxic nowdays,I can't keep count, how many jobs I walked away from in the year of 2023,I just quit one,as I'm typing, not letting nobody stealing my joy.any sign of toxicity I'm out of the door.im a nurse it's easy for me to find work.
This is hands down the best advice I have watched. You nailed it. I work in this circus every day. A total Freak show! In order to keep a mental balance, I wear one pod in my left ear playing scriptures ( God reminds me what not to do, the flesh is weak) , so that the right ear taking in the garbage does not send the wrong message to my brain. My motto every day is head down, mouth shut until they deliberately drag you into their drama and you have no choice but to defend yourself. The sad thing is that when normal people join the company and then realize the freak show they are in, they begin to normalize the environment and take part in the behavior because they have bills to pay. I am the rumor on the gossip mill, (which the owners/management love, as they rule by favoritism not performance) because I do not engage unless I am asking for information to do my job, or saying "good morning, good evening, or good night".
Very wise to listen to the gospel. I have to pray on the way to work that I don’t lose my cool and say things I will regret. Jesus is always looking out for His children. I always keep in mind that one day we will be in glory with Him and this will all just fade away. God bless you
Just did a search so I could help my fiance deal with his terrible supervisor, and stumbled across this video. Very clear cut and sound advice. Thank you very much🎉❤
I think most toxic bosses are threatened by good workers. Once i become a crappy worker they leave me alone lol
My work is rife with surprisingly bad employees. Once I found out and got to know the boss I now understand why.
I think that only works if you're on the boss's is good side. If you're not on the bus is good side then you're damned if you do and damned if you don't and you're going to be chased out eventually
@@yodaleiheehu3280 just need to lower the bar and play stupid
yep, had to deal with a toxic boss in my last company. the biggest give away was that i often felt uncomfortable around that person, i had to watch every word i said, and it felt like i was walking on egg shells. i didn't feel that way about other managers i had worked with at that company, nor do i feel this way about people at my current company.
I like the way this question gets at the core: reclaiming your agency over the situation.
A toxic boss will destroy your life. Sleep deprive you. Micromanage you. Berate you. Instruct othets to mob you. And bc of the power imbalance, they destroy you
The problm with my boss she is jealous with, she is not profesional at all. She never value or compliment my job. But others yes. So i resign better.
@@emaria7244 8 years from retirement and financially well off. There are ways to turn it back on them and make it a game.
Yes this is happening to me now
@@MichelleBradley-zd5fv Michelle I’m so sorry to know you’re experiencing this. How are you holding up ?
I’m going into work this morning. I feel empowered now after listening to your video!!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Go get’em
Toxic - when I figured it out, I started writing everything she told me to do on one of those school notebooks. When she denied telling me to do something, I brought it out and she never did it again.
Toxic...sociopath...no empathy...evil...
Toxic is toxic. Even if we can prove it and that person is reprimanded, they become vengeful and even more passive, and the environment becomes even more hostile than it was before you said something. Best just to leave.
I went through this twice in my life, Never again, Great words and points
I put in my resignation yesterday. It's one week but I had to do it. I'm going on vacation the following week, which will become a little bit of a work vacation. This is why you always keep a 2nd and maybe even 3rd income. I have been working a part-time weekend job since the holiday season of 2023. I'm also able to sub if need be to pick up more slack. If you don't see a real future, then let it go to keep your mental health. It's just not worth it. I realize that I will never have peace until I have my own business. My vacation will be utilized to plan. You're always going to have haters in the workplace. Some people are just miserable and will do anything to bring others down, if you let them
Another disappointment when you love your job and you know there’s no growth and that you’re not valued😢
That’s tough!
Getting it rough now.
Great advice! The stressful thing is you can't really let your guard down even when certain co-workers seem kind and talkative they may talk to the boss behind your back and try to sabotage you when you haven't said a single thing about the boss. It could be an innocuous comment about something to do with the job and all of a sudden you can sense things have shifted. Will never be open with co-workers again, helpful and friendly that´s it nothing remotely deeper than that.
i screenshot everything and cc my personal email when it’s shady
I have a pair of toxic bosses and Im pregnant 😢 Just trying to get to maternity leave. 6 weeks to go and never thought 6 weeks could feel so long 💔
I’m in the same situation as you… I have 3 months left before I go on leave and I’m trying so hard to not quit on the spot everyday
Toxic, in my case a lot gaslighting, disrespect, favouritism etc
6:32 You do want to document everything so that if HR comes after the toxic boss, you can help the company get rid of him. But that will only happen if someone above the toxic boss complains first. If you volunteer the documentation, then HR will ignore the evidence and YOU will become the target.
Sadly that is very true
Or, if a group of you complain is works to remove the person.
Sadly, this happened to me. I brought documentation to HR to report my toxic boss & in the meeting (with my boss present) they flipped the entire meeting on me & it became about my performance as an employee. They completely dismissed everything.
After a toxic session, I go back to my office and email my wonderfully toxic little man, stating, "Thank you for meeting with me today. Just to be clear with your expectations, you wanted me to do a, b, c, d, etc." Now you have a record email for your file. If they answer, they may just fix what they were saying, or they may not answer, which means you just clipped his wings. There is always a way to protect yourself - well, almost always.
Do yourself a favor and don’t go to HR. HR is NOT there for the employee. HR is for the company. They will always protect the company. If your toxic boss in the position they are, it is because they know how to sell themselves better than you. They will sell to HR how it is not them.
Thanks for your video. It has given me the clarity of how to take things into our control. I am going to make this trauma in office as a spring board for my future. At the moment I am not sure what it would be but I would not let the toxic situation in my office spoil my life. As a first step I have decided to quit smoking and look forward for a healthier life. Thanks once again.
I dont really view my boss as my boss. Just someone i have to deal with for the time being.
Filing a report to the state labor board, filing a lawsuit, quitting, baiting them into firing you without breaking the law or making yourself ineligible for unemployment (when possible). Works for me.
It’s a lot of energy to experience all the bs document all the bs and do a spectacular job
Thank you for the advice, my boss hates me, his calling HR on me for a second time in a row. I’m so sick of this, it’s never ending. I can’t leave since I don’t have any job lined up and need this job to pay my bills. 😢
Iam crying and my heart is aching of what he did infront of everyone.
At this point (25 years into the work force) I think an easier question whould be "Have you ever had a 'good' or 'healthy' boss?"
Toxic: all the points mentioned in this video matches exactly to what I am facing with that person right now. It's mental stress and nightmare. I figured this out and was left shocked and frozen. I suffered a lot. now I am going to watch other videos to get clarity if the whole workplace is toxic or is it only one person. It's close to a year now with this guy and in my career this is first time I experienced this.
Toxic
I have been the scapegoat for many toxic bosses. I am a woman in a non traditionally line of work.
I’m in maintenance.
I have a toxic boss and didn't even realize it for a long time. You mentioned like 5 things that fit the description, and he has little man syndrome. Thanks for helping me realize what i must now do.
I’m in hell working for a toxic boss and she’s the company owner. The only thing keeping me from quitting is that my salary is extremely high for what I do and I need the money to support my family. I have an exit strategy and that’s to start my own company. I’ve already registered it and now just need to do the legwork of getting clients. I pray every day that I can leave this job and never work for another narc for the rest of my days.
Take her clients mate...
My boss called me a liar and manipulator for no apparent reason, says I’m setting him up when I ask a question, nitpicks , belittles, blames his mistakes on me, he has scrambled my brain with gaslighting. And now I’m expected to supervise my own employee. I have no self worth and no confidence left.
Thank you for making this video! This is happening to me RIGHT NOW!!! I'm LEAVING!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!
You’re very welcome
I wished I came across your video one year before. I did the mistake of trusting the toxic boss I was working for and luckily my work was above par and I had documentations for things. I fought the battle all the way to the CEO and HR. Although my original role was taken away and I was given a lesser role, I did my best during that period. My toxic boss was promoted and I had a new boss. My new boss realised that I was framed n I was given my job back.
Toxic - had a boss who disliked honesty. I made the mistake of being honest. She targeted me so hard - I’ve that place now. She was manipulative, a liar, gaslighter, would get colleagues to report back to her everything and anything I said. It was hell. Constantly giving me her work which would remove me from my own work and destroy my stats. She was sick alright.
Dropping gems. I think the part about having control is the most important.
Appreciate you.
Needed this cause I was lost with there dumb Fs thank you
Reading the comments, now I know why I have no energy and just want to go home to do nothing! It’s amazing how stress at work can affect your health!
My current boss is toxic, sadly have had toxic bosses in the past and none of them are as toxic as this one! Have worked with him now for 6 years, 3 of them him being my boss and dreaming of the day he gets the boot!
Getting tired hoping this and wondering if I should leave
Thank You for revealing these truths... That's Them... Family Dollar management.
I’m working for one right now and my life is miserable… it’s a catch 22 all around . It’s a family business and the son is just out of control and no matter what I say or tell the owner he does no wrong .
My boss likes to yell out peoples names at random to get a rise out of them resulting in people starring. Feels demoralizing says he just likes yelling out my name sometimes it’s confusing if he’s yelling for me if he needs to ask me a question.
I recently discovered that my boss hired me intending to help him forget the woman he almost left his wife for...
After putting in hours of my own personal time researching more about my job and getting heavily invested in it, this is what I get revealed to. I no longer have the care or pride in the job. I never stay at a job just for the money and this is a prime example. I've been in leadership positions before and it takes a certain mentality and personality to be a genuine boss that helps employees feel comfortable working for. The job-hopping train is getting old, but I'd rather go back to that than work for someone who projects their personal problems onto others.
My time is too precious to spend in the shadows of another person's unresolved struggles.
It sucks when your manager turns everyone against you. She tells them to not talk to me or ice me out. They do it. I'm singled out and not sure why. I quit once to go back to my old job but they were no better so i got hired back at my first job and they all acted super nice so i would not leave. Then they went back to treating me bad. They all lied to me ugh
I have had a toxic boss. I tell you textbook Toxic. I also documented everything and reported it all to Professional Standards and then had to report again because of retaliation.
Thank you for this had 15 minutes of no self worth after a gaslighting at work before realsing and getting my head clear. Went searching for help and advice and has validated everything. Along with the support of my coworkers really really helped me get out of a terrible head space. Thank you so much. I will be sharing this video. ❣
Glad to help.
I told my boss that I will be looking for a new job if the situation carries on the same in our department. Short staffed and orders not going out of the door. We've since had two more people set on. Wouldn't worry me one bit if I had to leave as like you say, I'm in control.
Man it would have been nice if this could have been my reality at my last job. My toxic boss had created an environment where it was an authoritarian system under his control and approval, so much so that before the time I was there he fired/got rid of the HR team because he felt it was an annoyance.
It’s a long story, but it appears that was worse than a toxic work environment. May I learn the skills to serve my future no matter than space, and have healthy boundaries went interacting with the toxic ones!
I’m dealing with someone who has been told they are going to be my boss, but they are not yet my boss. But have been making my life hell and I’m ready to leave the company I’ve been with for 7+ years.
This is what I am experiencing right now. My mental health is now broken and my self-worth has declined.
True. GOD you are my Tru vindicator.
Mike you must know my boss. LOL In my case I am female on an all male team. I was hired 5 years ago due to a "diversity push". I am not wanted there. I am either ignored or they check up on everything I do. Fine for year 1, but 5 years in I am over it. It is not other teams I work with - it is my boss and his boss and my team. This past week was kind of the last straw. I am in my 50s and had hoped to not switch jobs again, but this is ruining my health. I have some prospects and an interview and I get what you say about taking back my power. I do feel like I control something now that I am looking. For a while for some reason I felt at their mercy and stuck. It is very freeing shaking that behavior. I am going to watch all your videos. Thanks!
You can set boundaries in a polite manner, I am sure you can say "no" in a polite manner, I am sure you can say "don't" in a polite manner and I am absolutely sure you can ask your boss to send his requests in an email, yes, "black and white" instead of writing stuff down that can be easily thrown out. This is not fighting at all. To be honest this doesn't do much if nothing at all in a situation like that. Especially if lines are being crossed and lines will be crossed with a toxic boss. Based on experience and I have done what you said 10 years ago, you'll set yourself up to be taken advantage of. With anyone who is toxic the objective is to "put your foot down" In a polite manner I'm sure. That's how you realize you have power you thought you never had. Because living with anxiety has taught me that the only way to through is to stand up.
I wish I heard this before I quit. I had 3 of them absolutely toxic and evil - team leader/ line manager and operation manager- all of them playing together. Absolute disgust honestly, I had to look for a mental health and still I am working on myself . What was more disturbing is that HR and company policies are not there for you, they protect the bullies. In my case I had to run from a job that I really enjoyed doing only because of them. Oh yes, forget to tell that there is no law to act agains bullying too…. So no help from nowhere whatsoever….
My last two bosses to a tea. Don't forget the dictator boss as well. One that rules with fear. I had that type in my last work place.
I'm in my first ever assistant manager position. I'm fully convinced that my boss is a sociopath. She loves to gossip and force employees into quitting to avoid unemployment payouts. She is the epitome of "do as I say not as I do. "
Mike! Thank you for what you do here. Your tips and advice is helping. Thank you!
Glad if it helps :)
Already have the toxic boss, our company acquired by a huge one, really want to stay. Needed to hear all of this working on my documentation now.