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No ... I mean if the bosses are ignorant none of this nonsense would help, you're either for them or against them and you know, I didn't find this video AT ALL helpful.
@@keplermission4947 How could you pick sides? Honestly bosses always have bosses.... your either the type that speaks up or the type that gets rolled over..... I'm not the roll over type GRRR
Recurring issue for me is being bullied in the workplace. I just stay true to myself, allow my values to guide me, demonstrate integrity and remind myself that no one can rob me of my authenticity... which only seems to infuriate the bullies more. Why can't we all just leverage each other's strengths and work together?
Absolutely Aimee. All communication begins with remaining strong and true to yourself. In families, in cities, in schools in geo-politics--in EVERYTHING we should be appreciating one another's strengths and virtues rather than being frightened of differences. Being number one is not nearly so important as being one.
@Ange Lom I think we may have a few things in common... previous two partners were extremely narcissistic. But apparently highly sensitive, empathic people attract them so I put the responsibility on my own shoulders to educate myself. Then I can work on the things I do that send the message to these people that I'm an easy target. Each experience teaches me something. Only thing is, I find that it is like playing a video game... when you level up, the boss you need to defeat at the end is smarter, quicker and stronger than the last!
Going through the same thing. Boss is so jealous that now she cant use, "She doesnt have a degree". I just got my Bachelor's last May and God Willing will graduate with my Master's this May. To rub it in instead of just being happy for me, she says, "Maybe I will go for my PHd". She doesnr want me to be equal ro her education wise because she always used it against me and now she is doing it to other co-workers. She is not a nice person
@@chilloften James 1:19-20 ESV “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
My boss said something derogratory to me once. My back was to him at my desk. I paused a moment, stood up. turned to face him looking in his eyes. I said Don't you ever speak to me that way again. He got all red and apologized.
This channel is a ray of HOPE and SUNSHINE after 3 years of covert bullying from 2 people at an otherwise great workplace. In public these 2 women are all smiles b/c they know I have allies and support. In private they call me incompetent, give brutal critiques, and the latest was a poison pen letter (private of course) accusing me of massive improprieties ahead of being publicly acknowledged for my success on a project. I've cried my eyes out for the last time. IT STOPS NOW. I'm SO DONE. I'm practicing the techniques daily and am "locked and loaded" for the next bullying attack. Thank you again for making the world a better place one conversation at a time. Much love and blessings to you.
“You don’t exist to me…let’s stay on track.” 😂😂😂😂😂! That is so powerful! I will however engage you if you are being constructive and respectful. Soooooo GOOD!
Excellent tactics! Having dealt with narcissist people they will try anything to put you on the defensive and that is a losing position! PLUS,I like your humor :)
In a lifetime I could not find clear examples on specifically how to defend oneself or a group from aggressive behaviours. Why? Virtually all mentors advise us to tell the aggressor how the attack makes us feel. I have tried that approach and not only does it not work on real bullies, but it reassures them their attacks are working. It is like telling a physical attacker that you don’t appreciate being knocked down. Sure, that works great. (Sarcasm.) Unchecked bullies can destroy a defenceless person’s self-esteem, damage their reputations, interfere with their career advancement, and make working a miserable affair. You provide doable behaviour options that some of us have desperately needed. Your teachings could on some levels save a person’s life. I admire and appreciate what you bring to all of us.
Wow, thank you for your story and your kind words, Prairie Dog. I'm doing my best, as most of us are and trying to make a positive difference--as most people do. We just need a little help from one another along the way.
I like how you deflected the negativity and simultaneously didn’t validate/take the bait of the asshole at the same time. Very brilliant. You are demonstrating how to be human Teflon!!
Media jobs are home to "The Impossible People". When mixed with a public sector environment such as a university setting, you have situations that defy any of the categories you talk about.
I have learn the hard way; when you control and manage yourself the rest of the world go to hell! For me it works to remain silent, don’t react , give them a quick confident look and focus back on your work; it cracks them!
My boss has been practicing bully for years. You can use these wonderful counterattacks against her but then suddenly, bam! she comes out with a whole new bully tactic. I am going to have to do a lot of research so I am properly armed for any aggressive/passive aggressive behaviors she tries to throw at me.
My former boss was a bully. Add to that the fact that he was 6' 9" tall and the intimidation factor was huge. (No pun intended) It finally drove me to early retirement because nobody in the corporation would help me. Finally, after so much turn over of good people at that location he was fired.
True ppl are work see it as weak…. Sucks but that’s corporate life. Now one should be ur therapist at work but ppls feeling so matter so let’s say “it’s troubling”
I work with the public and it helps to remember a lot of people have personality disorders. I go into robot mode and explain things like a script I'm reading. I never respond to their excuses or reasons they're exceptions to the rule. Just repeat the script. "Sure, I'll get the manager." Luckily, management has my back.
High respect for the stunning response: pause, sip of drink...raised hand (no eye contact)...now what was I doing?..Lets stay focused. This content is GOLD. Thank you! Thank you!...Especially with the holidays coming....
I am freaking out. I am transitioning into a management position at my job. I will be managing the most lackadaisical people to ever walk the earth. I've been working with them for 2.5 years and rather than improving, they remain stagnant. They have so much potential, but I am not really sure how to get them to find value in their work and understand how impactful their contributions are to the team. I've subscribed to your channel because I think you can help me be an effective manager. Thank you for sharing your tricks of the trade. 👍🏻👏👍🏻👏
This is so very helpful to me. I have had a very difficult time as i am autistic and i just found out at 53. My work relationships have always been extremely problematic as my bosses have used my "hyper-skills" and then my coworkers seem to hate me for it. All the while i have kept thinking it would help further me socially 😢 I am finally learning ❤
When you say "hyper-skills" do you mean? Do you overachieve in the workplace due to getting more done than your co-workers and that's why they hate you for it? Do you do more work because the boss noticed you're ahead of the team and then the boss abused the situation and has given you additional work to get done? Then turns around and uses your spurt of work "energy" against the co-workers because you have a strength the others do not? I had this happen to me in the workplace. One girl had so much energy for one night drawing labs, that she expected and put pressure on the rest of us, why couldn't we get 9 lab draws an hour? Needless to say, I never once hated the girl that was able to achieve 9 draws an hour in just that one night. I was impressed. I was sourly disappointed in the manager for holding such an extreme standard for the rest of us to achieve. That was terrible.
"Never defend anything." My boss often gets fixated on giving negative criticism about me during performance appraisal. As the boss relates past situations to point out those negatives, my boss gets lost in commenting about my other co-worker's negatives. I end up analyzing the situation with my boss and giving ideas how to understand others and even suggest possible solutions. My initial anxiety turned to a sense of relief! I wasn't really the problem. It's my boss who needs someone to help solve problems.
I'm nice all the time mostly and let myself get treated poorly because I'm not confident etc. I had one outburst due to someone being awful (long story in a comment above lol). She kept going so I let slip Mum had died (pathetic anyway as not the point). and she still wouldn't stop. I called her a name (remarkably restrained I thought) and banged a door. Well the scheming bully must have realised I may have a case together (don't know if she's been pulled up but she does it to others..this is a nurse who works with people smdh). Despite being upset and wanting to take her to HR I wouldn't have done it. I expected us to sort it ourselves. Long story shortish, evil genius involved the CEO and is sending me to HR with backup from 2 others, one a surgeon. She said I hit her but it's bullshit (not the point as point blank would never happen, I haven't heard of bruises etc ..touch wood she didn't already have). Put aside all the reason it is so ludicrous I'm still reeling, I'm clumsy with health problems so I'm dizzy and weak. I'm in by cleaners and kitchen staff, patients, families etc for being friendly and we (staff) agree we are invisible to some nurses and doctors so they know. Shit thing is, my outburst will be judged and a lying bully will get sympathy and even the cleaners etc may be turned. So many come to work cranky and get away with it. I have a stupid but human response once and I'm screwed Sorry for rant...seems to be nice people here that get it.
Excellent advice when dealing with people who are narcissistic. Keep in mind some have Autism spectrum conditions and they might appear rude, they just are honest ( most part) and are transparent. This video shall teach people how to deal with difficult persons
I had a boss that would come off condescending... It was only my 2nd or 3rd week there, but in general she was a rude one. She told me "If employees work the way you do none of us would have jobs." I told her "You're Site Coordinator... so how about you start coordinating your site?" She replied "How about you dont tell me how to do my job!" I replied "I'm doing a shit job but at least I'm doing it." She gave the nastiest look. I didnt see it but I sure as hell felt it 😂😂😂😂
I mean it’s also in her name description.Some people think they are more than that and end up not doing their own job title. I’m glad you stood up for yourself and taught her a lesson.😊
I want him to follow me around and speak for me for a day! I can learn 'during' the issue, not prior to. He is amazing and fun to listen to. I would hate to be on the other end of his 'disappointment' though!
I love 💕 this! I’m soft spoken and want to learn more about how I can express my feelings without being emotional and be more professional. I’m setting my bell 🔔 on! Hehe Thank You 🙏🏼
This is beautiful! I've had the luxury of being my own boss all of my life, thank goodness! These are still good things to remember in general. There's always going to be someone, somewhere who displays behavior that needs to be called out or put in their place. Thank you!
Oh my gosh, you are my hero! I had horrible role models throughout my childhood, who used violence to communicate. As soon as I learned that others don’t behave that way, I KNEW I didn’t want to do what I learned. The sad thing is that I never learned the right way to replace my old patterns. You actually have the precise lessons I’ve needed forever!
I wish I had this in my tool belt a few weeks ago. The sales manager implied that one of my coworkers was problematic because he's gay. I was taken aback by his comment to me and didn't know how to respond. My coworker does have many problems, but it's certainly not because he's gay. I wish I could go back and say something like this to him to make him very aware that what he said was not okay. I know for the future at least!! Thank you!
Sometimes, that powerful pause doesn't work when you are speaking to someone who talks non-stop, cuts you off incessantly, and won't even allow for a pause...
Yes, rude comments are always the problem of the speaker. However, people who are on the receiving end need tools to deal with these comments, if they cannot just walk away--and many times they can't.
I love this channel because when your going to college online. It can be amazing how rude younger people can be so it's nice to have an appropriate come back.
I'm a non-native English speaker, and I'm loving your videos because the advice is so good but also because you speak in a clear and eloquent manner. I want to learn from that. 💕💕💕Thank you
Stunning! I always get upset when coworkers are rude. I should always always be careful of how I address these situations, because some people talk in a way of wanting to physically attack another. I believe this information will help me. Thank you.
I like this style! The best part about doing things the way that as described here is that you don't stoop to the level of the rude person. Other people will notice that also. Remain calm, keep your wits... and win with self control. That's the biggest insult to someone who is trying to bring you down. Your response is their power. Don't let them have it.
You are a phenomenal speaker and have a clear, organized, intelligent and personable way of delivering valuable, empowering, confidence building communication skills that I didn't know I lacked until I stumbled onto your channel through a person who requested to be friends on FB whom I don't even know. Unexpected but beneficial outcome and I subscribed to your channel. Thank you. You're very wise
I do not have a Rudy but a two cents. It’s troubling. I have to practice. I am a recruiter with an assistant who has a know it all attitude. I did address it but I am going to shift my response and stay focused.
The fact that TH-cam knew I had an interaction at work yesterday by recommending this today is sending me 😂 I love everything you brought. The woman brought up my perfume, which I wear everyday and was never brought up. Not ever. Before she mentioned it, she was giving me dirty looks throughout the day and I just acted very neutral. After she came to me I was was pleasant and just walked away.
Another great example of this is an interview with Russell Brand, where he demonstrates the manners he wishes to also be shown. He transforms a moment of controversy into a proactive flip of the script. Brilliant!
I am practicing this I took great notes now I’m not angry I have powerful tools under my belt this difficult person was sent to me as a blessing.I can now have more grace and mercy on other people because I’m sure to someone I have also been difficult
This helped me so much this older guy who is literally over 30 years older than me just disrespected me today and I have really bad anger issues I’m trying to control them better I said nothing but I wanted to know how to handle the situation better and defend myself but professionally.....great video
I love the phrases & words Dan uses to describe certain things like "Duct Tape Phrases" and the names like Rudy for rude people - so fitting & appropriate. Plus, it truly makes these techniques easier to remember, and also helps to identify & discern situations.
Thank you! I am a mental heath addiction therapist and I work with a staff member who is very difficult and inappropriate on a number of levels. This helped!!! Thank you so much Mr. O’Connor.
I love ❤️love ❤️ your style, your delivery, your art, and most importantly the vital information you present!! I stumbled across you two days ago and I am now in the middle of a Dan O'Connor TH-cam binge! I imagine the next comment I will leave will be constructed much better😘! Thank you!
I just had a very nasty nurse lash out at me at work today, and tomorrow I am sure I will have to deal with the consequences of this with my manager. This really helped.
@ghanalifecherembo2130 yes it certainly is and msnagers don't do much about it so they get away with acting like divas. The only reason I am able to survive working in health care is because I am casual so I am not there to deal with this stress all the time.
@@EmbraceYourJoy Ugh. I learned this too late. I worked at a hospital for a time and it's a shame you can't tell upper management that if you have had temporary ear damage from a patient yelling into your ear, trying to get blood draws. Somehow word got out and nurses would follow suit in every patient room I had to get labs in and would slam doors and slam cabinets in the room, trying to cause more damage. Needless to say, I ended up falling out of the hospital, because I believe I ended up getting an ear infection because someone who has a copy of the key to the property I'm renting has come in and sabotaged my eardrops with rubbing alcohol. No matter who I went to within the hospital network (that could take the insurance) to get help, nobody would absolutely give me the amoxicillin antibiotic eardrops I needed. The doctors would always prescribe me the antibiotics in pill form and I ended up breaking 2 fevers, which meant my eardrop ruptured twice and I fell out of work and had to put a 2 week notice in. They find ways to get rid of you indirectly if they want to. Especially if they don't like you.
This was perfect timing! I had a row with a co-worker who constantly treats me as his PA and finding your video's is incredible. I spoke to my boss about it and he agreed with my co-worker who had already spoken to him about it! Boss was almost verbatim agreeing with co-worker, said I was agressive/ stroppy (but co-worker, he is 'to the point') and that some work I had done back in March was in-correct yet no-one had said anything to me about it! Boss now wants a sit-down me and Rudy Ruderston, so I am going to be listening to this and practicing for the next week. My aim, is to refuse to let either of them try to bully/ patronise me - get something in place going forward and ensure they can't try to pass me off as some 'agressive/ over-emotional female'. Thank you again! New sub 😁
There is a huge difference between the guidance of your boss and the interference of a co-worker, Dee Cee--as you have pointed out. And thanks for subbing; please be sure to share.
I’m so grateful I found you 🙏🏼 I’m empathetic and kind, and tend to end up in situations where an overbearing narc is questioning my work or trying to put me in a situation where I am unnecessarily expected to apologize to him. I now know an appropriate response to his aggressive words, thank you so very much.
Thanks a lot, you did help. It looks like I must learn a trick or 2 to play with these jokers at my place. I got myself into very toxic place and until I’ll find something at least on the same level I must survive here and let me tell you, I have never been tested like this before 🥵
I love all of your videos, Dan.I totally appreciate you.I really have to learn these techniques because I'm working in a ridiculously un employee friendly workplace at the moment, and dealing with rude, uneducated, nasty people.I don't want to lose my temper, but its not easy.So thank you vert much for sharing your insights and skill!
How is it going so far? I have to deal with team mates that are horrible and all they seem to want to do is get people in trouble. So it would be awesome to hear your feedback.
@@karentladi7498 I'm so fed up at this point that I'm planning to find another job where I can use my talents and be appreciated and hopefully get paid more.Its very discouraging to know that its probably not going to improve unless a miracle happens.How about you?
It feels like my eyes have been opened for the very first time in how to properly communicate with others. These are vital, life skills that should be taught to everyone. Growing up in school, I was always taught to make “I” statements instead of “you” statements when speaking to someone. It doesn’t work in real life as this video has brilliantly pointed out…. These kind of skills need to be taught at every grade and level in life so people don’t forget them.
We can all learn something new as we go along. I know I learn new things every day, and I don't mean the things my mother keeps presenting to me. (Just kidding Mom, in case you're reading.)
Let’s stay on track (stop & block). Never defend again anything. Display waiting breath / sip, choosing to stay focused. Adjective Consequence Behavior Use “It’s” rather than “I’m” “That someone who so values their __________ by using /bringing __________ into the workplace…
😞 Good evening BRO, I LOVE your pieces of advice, i'm a simple businessman and having problems with my employee, he has attitude problem and thw the way he act, it really annoys me, yup, i have really a bad temper for sure. It helped me to breath, drink water and the deflect method, the ABC rule and etc. You are my mentor bro, you help me a lot through this video. If i did not watch this video, i really FIRED him yesterday! Thanks bro, THANK YOU 💖💖💖🤗
You're welcome Nido. And just for fun--why don't you join our Tuesday and Thursday live (2:00 central) shows on TH-cam. After all, you're the boss, so you can set your own hours And maybe you can suggest that your difficult employee sit down and watch with you! :) Dan
I absolutely love your approach to teaching how to deal with situations involving bullies and other toxic people. You make it less difficult to seek and receive your advice given that messed up human interactions are so do perplexing and painful for the recipient. Thank you for your clarity, wisdom, expressivness (your facial queues and body language are awesome!) and gentle humor. Despite my sad 7 year long frustrating situation with "my" bully, you make me belly laugh in the process of gaining valuable, excellent advice through your tutelage.
Your reinforcing words made my day, Kathryn, and my deepest wish is that in addition to providing a bit of amusement for you, I've helped you cope with that bully. :) :)
I wish you could just jump into my brain everytime I needed to speak lol Also the defending part...could you explain more about that one day if you haven't already? I'm going to binge on your videos. Thanks for your help!
You have an excellent sense of humor from going through all of these personal attacks on you. You've managed to rise above it and use your super power to help others recognize NO MEANS NO!!
This was GREAT information. I’m retired now, but I’ll be forwarding this to my friends that are still working. I’m looking forward to watching the one on how to deal with rude family.
This has been much needed insight for me! The words and phrases are so insightful for a current situation in the work place. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Dan, you’re a true inspiration. I have no doubt your skills could straighten out our environment at work in no time. One of our superiors is very vulgar, grandiose and is not discreet when providing constructive criticism. Almost daily this person takes any and all perceived missteps as an opportunity to ask a rhetorical question and make a diatribe about an employee “simply deciding not to do the job as explained.” Micromanaging to the extent that every employee feels gun-shy about their next task. Convoluted communication when one day do this and the next day only do that, but always reminding us that there’s a simply process we just aren’t getting right. It can sometimes be enough to make one feel like they’re completely unable to do anything correctly. Also the superiors mood changes in a second yet we’re encouraged to have fun at work, but no talking! Eyes on our work, keep our head down and mow through faster, faster but don’t make one mistake! With your insight I’m seeing light through the tunnel 👍
OMIGOD, the description of your work environment sounds like my mother's convent experience, and I don't exaggerate. Her immediate nun superior created situations in which no answer would be correct. E.g. "You have a visitor" was announced over the PA and she was at her "duty." If she didn't go to the visitor's station, she was perceived as rude. If she left her "duty" station, she was perceived as negligent. Eventually everyone had that deer in the headlight look. And of course they were supposed to be "joyful" but 23 hours of the day there was no talking, and each moment was planned out for them with no input from them. ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT IN SOME SEMINARY, ANDREW? Andrew, I am guessing you are paid a fortune to put up with that. And if you're not, I hope you're learning how to clarify this person's instructions, so the odds of not doing it right are minimized. Bless you my son :) :) :)
@@TheWizardOfWords I can confidently say I do not work in a seminary, although the superior, I’m sure, regards themselves as holier than us mere mortals. We are influenced to observe and behold this person’s obvious greatness in all aspects and dare not question their all knowing abilities. Thank you for sharing your mothers story. My experiences so far in this job lead me to conclude that I’m working with a person who isn’t a great leader although they maybe a great producer of deliverables. Their communication comes across as belittling, condescending etc. I have dealt with many people like this in my life and find it a challenge and a life lesson of what not to be. I’ve learned to journal my days with emphasis on progress to have actual written proof because remembering specific details are not my strong suit with conversations. I’ve switched career paths to a completely different sector, (Home renovation 17 years to automotive service 5 years) with positive experiences outnumbering negative. The pay hasn’t caught up to my ambitions but I still have skills to master. Thank you for taking the time to respond and thank you for providing such valuable knowledge on how to approach these complex relationships we all experience.
Happy to help, Andrew :). I only wish I could have helped my mother, but on the other hand, she helped herself--right out of there--with a little help from those who actually KICKED her out, thankfully. Without that kick there would be no Marty and no me :)
You are so Good,if only I could remember these things when situations arise,I get so mad,that I cant think,its only after when I calm down that I think I should have this or that.But Iam going to keep listening to you until I get it,because the things you say and your expressions saying it make me laugh so hard.A person would have no choice but to respect you when you leave them speechless like that.
I grew up surrounded by critical confrontational people. My strongest coping skill was to be completely indifferent to what they said because otherwise I was out matched by their ability to be loud and ugly. My lack of response just left them spinning their wheels. Unfortunately, apathy is not a great way to live your life. I still use it at times and I'm not one to escalate a stoopid comment with more attention than it deserves, but it would be fun to shut things down with a slam instead of a cold silence... Bring on the scripts!
I love this message especially when you mentioned don't ever defend yourself . I too was in a situation where somebody accused me of something. However it worked out in my favor because I chose to remain silent. If I chose to Defend myself I think I would have Somehow looked guilty of Something I had not even done.
☺️☺️One of my favor advice guru's when it comes to dealing with rude people and toxic situations. He's a breath of fresh air on this and so many other topics. Thank you! For your helpful videos.👏👏
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HEY MY FRIENDS: If these videos are having a positive impact on you, please show your support by becoming a CHANNEL MEMBER and/or clicking the THANKS BUTTON above and leaving a little love. A little love will allow me to continue delivering these videos directly to you!
No ... I mean if the bosses are ignorant none of this nonsense would help, you're either for them or against them and you know, I didn't find this video AT ALL helpful.
I love this channel & find it super helpful and effective in my life!
@@keplermission4947 he maid a point to not make it personal!!
@@keplermission4947 How could you pick sides? Honestly bosses always have bosses.... your either the type that speaks up or the type that gets rolled over..... I'm not the roll over type GRRR
Darn right!
Recurring issue for me is being bullied in the workplace. I just stay true to myself, allow my values to guide me, demonstrate integrity and remind myself that no one can rob me of my authenticity... which only seems to infuriate the bullies more. Why can't we all just leverage each other's strengths and work together?
Absolutely Aimee. All communication begins with remaining strong and true to yourself. In families, in cities, in schools in geo-politics--in EVERYTHING we should be appreciating one another's strengths and virtues rather than being frightened of differences. Being number one is not nearly so important as being one.
@Ange Lom I think we may have a few things in common... previous two partners were extremely narcissistic. But apparently highly sensitive, empathic people attract them so I put the responsibility on my own shoulders to educate myself. Then I can work on the things I do that send the message to these people that I'm an easy target. Each experience teaches me something. Only thing is, I find that it is like playing a video game... when you level up, the boss you need to defeat at the end is smarter, quicker and stronger than the last!
Media & TV & movies teach that hate, minute by minute. It's a very sick world.
Going through the same thing. Boss is so jealous that now she cant use, "She doesnt have a degree". I just got my Bachelor's last May and God Willing will graduate with my Master's this May. To rub it in instead of just being happy for me, she says, "Maybe I will go for my PHd". She doesnr want me to be equal ro her education wise because she always used it against me and now she is doing it to other co-workers. She is not a nice person
@@chilloften
James 1:19-20 ESV
“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
My boss said something derogratory to me once. My back was to him at my desk. I paused a moment, stood up. turned to face him looking in his eyes. I said Don't you ever speak to me that way again. He got all red and apologized.
Excellent--desire to maintain boundaries and appropriate office comments outweighed fear of retaliation. Indicative of a very strong person. Kudos.
Finally someone that gives real useful tools to help. I work with very toxic people.
This channel is a ray of HOPE and SUNSHINE after 3 years of covert bullying from 2 people at an otherwise great workplace. In public these 2 women are all smiles b/c they know I have allies and support. In private they call me incompetent, give brutal critiques, and the latest was a poison pen letter (private of course) accusing me of massive improprieties ahead of being publicly acknowledged for my success on a project. I've cried my eyes out for the last time. IT STOPS NOW. I'm SO DONE. I'm practicing the techniques daily and am "locked and loaded" for the next bullying attack. Thank you again for making the world a better place one conversation at a time. Much love and blessings to you.
Many thanks for your taking the time to write, Queen. I hope these words help you going forward.
I need to get some glasses so I can take them on and off for dramatic effect. This is awesome
Omg exactly!!!
Wow...so perfect for the moment!
“You don’t exist to me…let’s stay on track.” 😂😂😂😂😂! That is so powerful! I will however engage you if you are being constructive and respectful. Soooooo GOOD!
When Tony Stark gives life advice.
Lol!
😂😂😂😂 I can't get over this....
Love it!
Yes, and still doing it. Since Iron Man is taken, could I be Tin Man??
@@TheWizardOfWords HA HA HA HA!
Excellent tactics! Having dealt with narcissist people they will try anything to put you on the defensive and that is a losing position! PLUS,I like your humor :)
Finally, a crash course on Office Politics, Haters and Difficult People. Thank You !
In a lifetime I could not find clear examples on specifically how to defend oneself or a group from aggressive behaviours. Why? Virtually all mentors advise us to tell the aggressor how the attack makes us feel. I have tried that approach and not only does it not work on real bullies, but it reassures them their attacks are working. It is like telling a physical attacker that you don’t appreciate being knocked down. Sure, that works great. (Sarcasm.) Unchecked bullies can destroy a defenceless person’s self-esteem, damage their reputations, interfere with their career advancement, and make working a miserable affair. You provide doable behaviour options that some of us have desperately needed. Your teachings could on some levels save a person’s life. I admire and appreciate what you bring to all of us.
Wow, thank you for your story and your kind words, Prairie Dog. I'm doing my best, as most of us are and trying to make a positive difference--as most people do. We just need a little help from one another along the way.
I'm glad I found this guy he's really going to make me an alpha coworker
Same !
Very g9od and h3lpful Thanks
Silence is golden just walk away regardless there's no one there to argue or listen it leaves them irritated and usually speechless 😶.
However sometimes you want to address the comment head-on.
I like how you deflected the negativity and simultaneously didn’t validate/take the bait of the asshole at the same time. Very brilliant. You are demonstrating how to be human Teflon!!
This guy is legit funny. Advice was good but the humor made it great.
There are some toxic workers out there that will literally take what you say and twist it around through shady gossip
Media jobs are home to "The Impossible People". When mixed with a public sector environment such as a university setting, you have situations that defy any of the categories you talk about.
I have learn the hard way; when you control and manage yourself the rest of the world go to hell! For me it works to remain silent, don’t react , give them a quick confident look and focus back on your work; it cracks them!
Tried that but then was called passive aggressive!😂
My boss has been practicing bully for years. You can use these wonderful counterattacks against her but then suddenly, bam! she comes out with a whole new bully tactic. I am going to have to do a lot of research so I am properly armed for any aggressive/passive aggressive behaviors she tries to throw at me.
My former boss was a bully. Add to that the fact that he was 6' 9" tall and the intimidation factor was huge. (No pun intended)
It finally drove me to early retirement because nobody in the corporation would help me.
Finally, after so much turn over of good people at that location he was fired.
Wow. Great video. I have made the mistake of talking about how hurt I felt, making myself vulnerable. Huge mistake. Trying to come back from that now.
Thanks, Esmerelda; I hope this video helps.
True ppl are work see it as weak…. Sucks but that’s corporate life. Now one should be ur therapist at work but ppls feeling so matter so let’s say “it’s troubling”
Thank you so much! I’m a sensitive person. Finding the right words can be hard in the moment. This helps me find my power.
Happy to help JRav.
I work with the public and it helps to remember a lot of people have personality disorders. I go into robot mode and explain things like a script I'm reading. I never respond to their excuses or reasons they're exceptions to the rule. Just repeat the script. "Sure, I'll get the manager." Luckily, management has my back.
Ouch.. the eye went up and “let’s stay on track”. I love it
High respect for the stunning response: pause, sip of drink...raised hand (no eye contact)...now what was I doing?..Lets stay focused. This content is GOLD. Thank you! Thank you!...Especially with the holidays coming....
Keep an eye out for holiday videos; they're coming.
I am freaking out. I am transitioning into a management position at my job. I will be managing the most lackadaisical people to ever walk the earth. I've been working with them for 2.5 years and rather than improving, they remain stagnant. They have so much potential, but I am not really sure how to get them to find value in their work and understand how impactful their contributions are to the team. I've subscribed to your channel because I think you can help me be an effective manager. Thank you for sharing your tricks of the trade. 👍🏻👏👍🏻👏
Francesca Charles try to read John C Maxwell leadership books
@@shonazef7351 Thank you. I will pick up a copy this week. 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
Work on them. Individually,,, find each person button
This is so very helpful to me. I have had a very difficult time as i am autistic and i just found out at 53. My work relationships have always been extremely problematic as my bosses have used my "hyper-skills" and then my coworkers seem to hate me for it. All the while i have kept thinking it would help further me socially 😢
I am finally learning ❤
Very happy to help, Angela :)
When you say "hyper-skills" do you mean? Do you overachieve in the workplace due to getting more done than your co-workers and that's why they hate you for it?
Do you do more work because the boss noticed you're ahead of the team and then the boss abused the situation and has given you additional work to get done? Then turns around and uses your spurt of work "energy" against the co-workers because you have a strength the others do not?
I had this happen to me in the workplace. One girl had so much energy for one night drawing labs, that she expected and put pressure on the rest of us, why couldn't we get 9 lab draws an hour?
Needless to say, I never once hated the girl that was able to achieve 9 draws an hour in just that one night. I was impressed. I was sourly disappointed in the manager for holding such an extreme standard for the rest of us to achieve. That was terrible.
"Never defend anything." My boss often gets fixated on giving negative criticism about me during performance appraisal. As the boss relates past situations to point out those negatives, my boss gets lost in commenting about my other co-worker's negatives. I end up analyzing the situation with my boss and giving ideas how to understand others and even suggest possible solutions.
My initial anxiety turned to a sense of relief! I wasn't really the problem. It's my boss who needs someone to help solve problems.
Happy you discovered that the problem is not you, grandjette.
Some coworkers are just disgusting, I guess controlling one's temper is just the key,
Banks Euros !!! I guess that's one of the keys, yes. I appreciate you taking the time to comment, and I hope to see more of you.
@@TheWizardOfWords It's Ironic you said in your video never say d word I appreciate to anyone, and yourself not following
I'm nice all the time mostly and let myself get treated poorly because I'm not confident etc.
I had one outburst due to someone being awful (long story in a comment above lol).
She kept going so I let slip Mum had died (pathetic anyway as not the point). and she still wouldn't stop. I called her a name (remarkably restrained I thought) and banged a door.
Well the scheming bully must have realised I may have a case together (don't know if she's been pulled up but she does it to others..this is a nurse who works with people smdh). Despite being upset and wanting to take her to HR I wouldn't have done it. I expected us to sort it ourselves.
Long story shortish, evil genius involved the CEO and is sending me to HR with backup from 2 others, one a surgeon. She said I hit her but it's bullshit (not the point as point blank would never happen, I haven't heard of bruises etc ..touch wood she didn't already have). Put aside all the reason it is so ludicrous I'm still reeling, I'm clumsy with health problems so I'm dizzy and weak. I'm in by cleaners and kitchen staff, patients, families etc for being friendly and we (staff) agree we are invisible to some nurses and doctors so they know. Shit thing is, my outburst will be judged and a lying bully will get sympathy and even the cleaners etc may be turned.
So many come to work cranky and get away with it. I have a stupid but human response once and I'm screwed
Sorry for rant...seems to be nice people here that get it.
I need a videos like this for dealing with a narcissistic BF.. ASAP... THIS is SOOO GOOD!
You may have a narcissist or you may just have unhealthy boundaries. One clue is how often you seem to run into narcissists.
Excellent advice when dealing with people who are narcissistic. Keep in mind some have Autism spectrum conditions and they might appear rude, they just are honest ( most part) and are transparent.
This video shall teach people how to deal with difficult persons
That’s one of O’Connor’s best tip bc it can be applied anytime i encounter toxic people ;)
Thank you Jay. Maybe I should call these "O'Connor's Tips." Yes, I think I will.
I had a boss that would come off condescending... It was only my 2nd or 3rd week there, but in general she was a rude one. She told me "If employees work the way you do none of us would have jobs."
I told her "You're Site Coordinator... so how about you start coordinating your site?"
She replied "How about you dont tell me how to do my job!"
I replied "I'm doing a shit job but at least I'm doing it."
She gave the nastiest look. I didnt see it but I sure as hell felt it 😂😂😂😂
I mean it’s also in her name description.Some people think they are more than that and end up not doing their own job title. I’m glad you stood up for yourself and taught her a lesson.😊
I want him to follow me around and speak for me for a day! I can learn 'during' the issue, not prior to. He is amazing and fun to listen to. I would hate to be on the other end of his 'disappointment' though!
I'll go with you if you pick up the check :) :)
I love 💕 this! I’m soft spoken and want to learn more about how I can express my feelings without being emotional and be more professional. I’m setting my bell 🔔 on! Hehe Thank You 🙏🏼
Me too! Xoxo
Me too
The Wizard of Words is simply on ANOTHER level. Certainly among my TOP recent discoveries!
Happy to hear that, Cleonemusician!
This is beautiful! I've had the luxury of being my own boss all of my life, thank goodness! These are still good things to remember in general. There's always going to be someone, somewhere who displays behavior that needs to be called out or put in their place. Thank you!
Oh my gosh, you are my hero! I had horrible role models throughout my childhood, who used violence to communicate. As soon as I learned that others don’t behave that way, I KNEW I didn’t want to do what I learned. The sad thing is that I never learned the right way to replace my old patterns. You actually have the precise lessons I’ve needed forever!
Many thanks, Rachel. And for a deeper dive into this type of communication, go to danoconnortraining.com and check out the courses.
I wish I had this in my tool belt a few weeks ago. The sales manager implied that one of my coworkers was problematic because he's gay. I was taken aback by his comment to me and didn't know how to respond. My coworker does have many problems, but it's certainly not because he's gay. I wish I could go back and say something like this to him to make him very aware that what he said was not okay. I know for the future at least!! Thank you!
You'll be ready next time, Anna :)
Sometimes, that powerful pause doesn't work when you are speaking to someone who talks non-stop, cuts you off incessantly, and won't even allow for a pause...
Then perhaps a hand gesture is in order--and I am referring to the full-hand stop gesture, combined with "I am still speaking."
I look at it like this. If someone has a problem with me and they won't tell me what I did to upset them then it's their problem not mine.
Yes, rude comments are always the problem of the speaker. However, people who are on the receiving end need tools to deal with these comments, if they cannot just walk away--and many times they can't.
I could listen and watch you all day😉
Boy I wish I had YOU for a mother (or father?) !!! :) :) :)
I love this channel because when your going to college online. It can be amazing how rude younger people can be so it's nice to have an appropriate come back.
I'm a non-native English speaker, and I'm loving your videos because the advice is so good but also because you speak in a clear and eloquent manner. I want to learn from that. 💕💕💕Thank you
You are the King of putting people in check...professionally. #Love
I love you!! 😆I needed this so much!! Thank you!!! A stop and a block.. Yes!!
Stunning! I always get upset when coworkers are rude. I should always always be careful of how I address these situations, because some people talk in a way of wanting to physically attack another.
I believe this information will help me. Thank you.
Great Chantall, and please share my channel with your friends!
I like this style! The best part about doing things the way that as described here is that you don't stoop to the level of the rude person. Other people will notice that also. Remain calm, keep your wits... and win with self control. That's the biggest insult to someone who is trying to bring you down. Your response is their power. Don't let them have it.
Fantastic video. I was harrased at work by my boss. Ended with a heart attack, hair loss. Changed jobs I am happier and hair came back.
Omigod, I hope I can help going forward--if you ever have similar challenges again--which I hope you don't.
Oh this is by far my favourite. I’m storing that in my brain. Thank you thank you thank you!
You are a phenomenal speaker and have a clear, organized, intelligent and personable way of delivering valuable, empowering, confidence building communication skills that I didn't know I lacked until I stumbled onto your channel through a person who requested to be friends on FB whom I don't even know. Unexpected but beneficial outcome and I subscribed to your channel. Thank you. You're very wise
Wow, thank you! Please share these videos, Heather :)
I do not have a Rudy but a two cents. It’s troubling. I have to practice. I am a recruiter with an assistant who has a know it all attitude. I did address it but I am going to shift my response and stay focused.
The fact that TH-cam knew I had an interaction at work yesterday by recommending this today is sending me 😂 I love everything you brought.
The woman brought up my perfume, which I wear everyday and was never brought up. Not ever. Before she mentioned it, she was giving me dirty looks throughout the day and I just acted very neutral. After she came to me I was was pleasant and just walked away.
I hope you subscribed Graffiti, because there is much more to come :)
Another great example of this is an interview with Russell Brand, where he demonstrates the manners he wishes to also be shown. He transforms a moment of controversy into a proactive flip of the script. Brilliant!
OMG WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!!! MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE BECAUSE OF YOUR TEACHING
You'll find me RIGHT HERE and I hope you come back often, Shereka :)_
It’s concerning that I wouldn’t have found you earlier knowing how much I needed these skills to deal with the a**holes in my life.
I'm glad we've found each other now, Rebekah :)
I need to listen to this morning, noon and night ..... and at my job i might just sneak a few listens here and there!!❤❤❤🎉 subscribed!!
Thanks for the listening and the subscribing. Now please--sharing :)
My fantasy of telling a coworker off has always began with "I'd APPRECIATE!"...thank you for correcting me!
I am practicing this I took great notes now I’m not angry I have powerful tools under my belt this difficult person was sent to me as a blessing.I can now have more grace and mercy on other people because I’m sure to someone I have also been difficult
Love this!! "Let's stay focused" is absolutely BRILLIANT!! I WILL be using this! Subbed!
Thanks for the sub and please share these videos, Stephanie.
I just discovered this channel today. You are amazing!!
Thanks. I hope you subscribed and then pressed the "join" button.
This helped me so much this older guy who is literally over 30 years older than me just disrespected me today and I have really bad anger issues I’m trying to control them better I said nothing but I wanted to know how to handle the situation better and defend myself but professionally.....great video
Thank you Dan. You help me stay on track.
Control your self dear,, be strategic and ready
I love the phrases & words Dan uses to describe certain things like "Duct Tape Phrases" and the names like Rudy for rude people - so fitting & appropriate. Plus, it truly makes these techniques easier to remember, and also helps to identify & discern situations.
Thank you! I am a mental heath addiction therapist and I work with a staff member who is very difficult and inappropriate on a number of levels. This helped!!! Thank you so much Mr. O’Connor.
Kick ass. How to handle narcs that behave like self entitled brats and put others down?
I love ❤️love ❤️ your style, your delivery, your art, and most importantly the vital information you present!! I stumbled across you two days ago and I am now in the middle of a Dan O'Connor TH-cam binge! I imagine the next comment I will leave will be constructed much better😘! Thank you!
Binge away Jennifer and thank you for a flattering post. My head just grew well beyond my hat-size.
I just had a very nasty nurse lash out at me at work today, and tomorrow I am sure I will have to deal with the consequences of this with my manager. This really helped.
Good for you! Nursing culture is absolutely atrocious with bullying! I'm a 13-yr veteran of L&D nursing.
@ghanalifecherembo2130 yes it certainly is and msnagers don't do much about it so they get away with acting like divas. The only reason I am able to survive working in health care is because I am casual so I am not there to deal with this stress all the time.
@@EmbraceYourJoy Ugh. I learned this too late. I worked at a hospital for a time and it's a shame you can't tell upper management that if you have had temporary ear damage from a patient yelling into your ear, trying to get blood draws.
Somehow word got out and nurses would follow suit in every patient room I had to get labs in and would slam doors and slam cabinets in the room, trying to cause more damage. Needless to say, I ended up falling out of the hospital, because I believe I ended up getting an ear infection because someone who has a copy of the key to the property I'm renting has come in and sabotaged my eardrops with rubbing alcohol.
No matter who I went to within the hospital network (that could take the insurance) to get help, nobody would absolutely give me the amoxicillin antibiotic eardrops I needed. The doctors would always prescribe me the antibiotics in pill form and I ended up breaking 2 fevers, which meant my eardrop ruptured twice and I fell out of work and had to put a 2 week notice in. They find ways to get rid of you indirectly if they want to. Especially if they don't like you.
This was perfect timing! I had a row with a co-worker who constantly treats me as his PA and finding your video's is incredible. I spoke to my boss about it and he agreed with my co-worker who had already spoken to him about it! Boss was almost verbatim agreeing with co-worker, said I was agressive/ stroppy (but co-worker, he is 'to the point') and that some work I had done back in March was in-correct yet no-one had said anything to me about it! Boss now wants a sit-down me and Rudy Ruderston, so I am going to be listening to this and practicing for the next week. My aim, is to refuse to let either of them try to bully/ patronise me - get something in place going forward and ensure they can't try to pass me off as some 'agressive/ over-emotional female'.
Thank you again! New sub 😁
There is a huge difference between the guidance of your boss and the interference of a co-worker, Dee Cee--as you have pointed out. And thanks for subbing; please be sure to share.
I’m so grateful I found you 🙏🏼 I’m empathetic and kind, and tend to end up in situations where an overbearing narc is questioning my work or trying to put me in a situation where I am unnecessarily expected to apologize to him. I now know an appropriate response to his aggressive words, thank you so very much.
You are welcome, Nicole.
I love you man, I had so many sleepless nights because of jerks at work and this is great strategy 😍
Thanks, Race. I hope I can help with those sleepless nights.
Thanks a lot, you did help. It looks like I must learn a trick or 2 to play with these jokers at my place. I got myself into very toxic place and until I’ll find something at least on the same level I must survive here and let me tell you, I have never been tested like this before 🥵
I love all of your videos, Dan.I totally appreciate you.I really have to learn these techniques because I'm working in a ridiculously un employee friendly workplace at the moment, and dealing with rude, uneducated, nasty people.I don't want to lose my temper, but its not easy.So thank you vert much for sharing your insights and skill!
How is it going so far? I have to deal with team mates that are horrible and all they seem to want to do is get people in trouble.
So it would be awesome to hear your feedback.
@@karentladi7498 I'm so fed up at this point that I'm planning to find another job where I can use my talents and be appreciated and hopefully get paid more.Its very discouraging to know that its probably not going to improve unless a miracle happens.How about you?
Even educated people are rude and nasty and condescending. Those are the worst ones.
You are an absolute blessing you have helped me out so much ... thank you Dan
It feels like my eyes have been opened for the very first time in how to properly communicate with others. These are vital, life skills that should be taught to everyone. Growing up in school, I was always taught to make “I” statements instead of “you” statements when speaking to someone. It doesn’t work in real life as this video has brilliantly pointed out…. These kind of skills need to be taught at every grade and level in life so people don’t forget them.
I agree Joe. Totally.
The workplace needs someone like you to check everyone! The Wizard of Words is such a great name for a channel.
Thank you CA2SD. I don't want to check everyone, but I certainly would like to reach everyone :) :)
These are FANTASTIC tips and I pride myself on being a good communicator but BRAVO.
We can all learn something new as we go along. I know I learn new things every day, and I don't mean the things my mother keeps presenting to me. (Just kidding Mom, in case you're reading.)
Let’s stay on track (stop & block).
Never defend again anything.
Display waiting breath / sip, choosing to stay focused.
Adjective
Consequence
Behavior
Use “It’s” rather than “I’m”
“That someone who so values their __________ by using /bringing __________ into the workplace…
Love your screen name and thank you
😞 Good evening BRO, I LOVE your pieces of advice, i'm a simple businessman and having problems with my employee, he has attitude problem and thw the way he act, it really annoys me, yup, i have really a bad temper for sure. It helped me to breath, drink water and the deflect method, the ABC rule and etc. You are my mentor bro, you help me a lot through this video. If i did not watch this video, i really FIRED him yesterday! Thanks bro, THANK YOU 💖💖💖🤗
You're welcome Nido. And just for fun--why don't you join our Tuesday and Thursday live (2:00 central) shows on TH-cam. After all, you're the boss, so you can set your own hours And maybe you can suggest that your difficult employee sit down and watch with you! :)
Dan
Thank you, Mr. Wizard of Words ! You’re like an ally or best friend everyone needs in their corner 😊❤
Awesome knowledge. I am dealing with a colleague who points at me and speaks rudely.
Now I'll apply these ideas.
Great Rishi. Let me know how that works for you. Dan
I’m gonna go into work and take four drinks to my coffee and sigh before I respond back to anybody on Monday lol😂
Love it!!!
You are the ABSOLUTE BEST!!
I really need to use that statement tomorrow.
I absolutely love your approach to teaching how to deal with situations involving bullies and other toxic people. You make it less difficult to seek and receive your advice given that messed up human interactions are so do perplexing and painful for the recipient. Thank you for your clarity, wisdom, expressivness (your facial queues and body language are awesome!) and gentle humor. Despite my sad 7 year long frustrating situation with "my" bully, you make me belly laugh in the process of gaining valuable, excellent advice through your tutelage.
Your reinforcing words made my day, Kathryn, and my deepest wish is that in addition to providing a bit of amusement for you, I've helped you cope with that bully. :) :)
This was really nice. Uplifting. It would be in my best interest to send this around to everyone and watch this again. Now, let's move on😊
I wish you could just jump into my brain everytime I needed to speak lol
Also the defending part...could you explain more about that one day if you haven't already? I'm going to binge on your videos. Thanks for your help!
This will really help me with The rudeness from certain ppl.
I love his videos I have learned so many healthy ways of dealing with conflict while remaining powerful and classy
THANK YOU, LONJEMARIESWISDOM. Healthy ways--mindful ways--and you will remain powerful--and classy. Great way to put it.
You have an excellent sense of humor from going through all of these personal attacks on you. You've managed to rise above it and use your super power to help others recognize NO MEANS NO!!
I hope so!
I know so I can relate
This was GREAT information. I’m retired now, but I’ll be forwarding this to my friends that are still working. I’m looking forward to watching the one on how to deal with rude family.
It's coming :)
I’m so glad I found your channel , love your easy & broke down content!
4:10 if you are engaging
With me in an inappropriate way, you don’t exist to me.
This has been much needed insight for me! The words and phrases are so insightful for a current situation in the work place. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
You're welcome welcome welcome!
Your deliverance is everything!! So glad I listened to this, thank you!
Dan, you’re a true inspiration. I have no doubt your skills could straighten out our environment at work in no time. One of our superiors is very vulgar, grandiose and is not discreet when providing constructive criticism. Almost daily this person takes any and all perceived missteps as an opportunity to ask a rhetorical question and make a diatribe about an employee “simply deciding not to do the job as explained.” Micromanaging to the extent that every employee feels gun-shy about their next task. Convoluted communication when one day do this and the next day only do that, but always reminding us that there’s a simply process we just aren’t getting right. It can sometimes be enough to make one feel like they’re completely unable to do anything correctly. Also the superiors mood changes in a second yet we’re encouraged to have fun at work, but no talking! Eyes on our work, keep our head down and mow through faster, faster but don’t make one mistake! With your insight I’m seeing light through the tunnel 👍
OMIGOD, the description of your work environment sounds like my mother's convent experience, and I don't exaggerate. Her immediate nun superior created situations in which no answer would be correct. E.g. "You have a visitor" was announced over the PA and she was at her "duty." If she didn't go to the visitor's station, she was perceived as rude. If she left her "duty" station, she was perceived as negligent. Eventually everyone had that deer in the headlight look. And of course they were supposed to be "joyful" but 23 hours of the day there was no talking, and each moment was planned out for them with no input from them. ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT IN SOME SEMINARY, ANDREW? Andrew, I am guessing you are paid a fortune to put up with that. And if you're not, I hope you're learning how to clarify this person's instructions, so the odds of not doing it right are minimized. Bless you my son :) :) :)
@@TheWizardOfWords I can confidently say I do not work in a seminary, although the superior, I’m sure, regards themselves as holier than us mere mortals. We are influenced to observe and behold this person’s obvious greatness in all aspects and dare not question their all knowing abilities. Thank you for sharing your mothers story. My experiences so far in this job lead me to conclude that I’m working with a person who isn’t a great leader although they maybe a great producer of deliverables. Their communication comes across as belittling, condescending etc. I have dealt with many people like this in my life and find it a challenge and a life lesson of what not to be.
I’ve learned to journal my days with emphasis on progress to have actual written proof because remembering specific details are not my strong suit with conversations.
I’ve switched career paths to a completely different sector, (Home renovation 17 years to automotive service 5 years) with positive experiences outnumbering negative. The pay hasn’t caught up to my ambitions but I still have skills to master.
Thank you for taking the time to respond and thank you for providing such valuable knowledge on how to approach these complex relationships we all experience.
Happy to help, Andrew :). I only wish I could have helped my mother, but on the other hand, she helped herself--right out of there--with a little help from those who actually KICKED her out, thankfully. Without that kick there would be no Marty and no me :)
Or can I just break out and sing Donna Summer’s ‘She works hard for the money so you BETTER treat her right!’ ?
Yes, I wish I had thought of that!
You are so Good,if only I could remember these things when situations arise,I get so mad,that I cant think,its only after when I calm down that I think I should have this or that.But Iam going to keep listening to you until I get it,because the things you say and your expressions saying it make me laugh so hard.A person would have no choice but to respect you when you leave them speechless like that.
I grew up surrounded by critical confrontational people. My strongest coping skill was to be completely indifferent to what they said because otherwise I was out matched by their ability to be loud and ugly. My lack of response just left them spinning their wheels. Unfortunately, apathy is not a great way to live your life. I still use it at times and I'm not one to escalate a stoopid comment with more attention than it deserves, but it would be fun to shut things down with a slam instead of a cold silence... Bring on the scripts!
Gemma, spotlighting their behavior might help you get them out of your head. And I use the term spotlight deliberately, rather than confront. :)
@@TheWizardOfWords Yeh, just to make it clear that their behaviour is actually their issue not mine. Thanks for responding ♥️
You take communication skills to a higher level ! Practice is definitely key in mastering any skill. I’m so glad to have found your training courses.
Happy we found each other, Sharon.
I love this message especially when you mentioned don't ever defend yourself . I too was in a situation where somebody accused me of something. However it worked out in my favor because I chose to remain silent. If I chose to Defend myself I think I would have Somehow looked guilty of Something I had not even done.
Absolutely. Thanks for writing, Andrea.
this was so brilliant to watch !
Your spirit really shines, so grateful for your content, thank you! 👍❤️🙏💞😎
You are so welcome, Lulu.
☺️☺️One of my favor advice guru's when it comes to dealing with rude people and toxic situations. He's a breath of fresh air on this and so many other topics. Thank you! For your helpful videos.👏👏
You're welcome, Debbee. And look for more to come.
Have 2 big meetings today one at work and one in personal life. This could not have came to me at a better time. Thank you!