I planted flowers for my mother because she was cutting our pumpkins before they were ready. I grew a lot of different cut flowers and potted herbs for her. She stopped cutting the pumpkins and started cutting and arranging her flowers. It also got her to spend more time outside and walk around the backyard.
I do this for my family member with dementia. She loves to rummage through her things. I brought her an 18 gallon tote and a couple smaller 12-16 quart storage bins and filled them with random items. She likes to go through the containers and moves items between the bins. It works to keep her focused on something positive.
My husband often criticizes my driving and this gets very annoying, particularly when we are on a day trip. I found some audio books he finds enjoyable and listening to these on our trip has significantly decreased his repeated criticisms.
I love this idea. My husband and I are married 41 years and we have been arguing for more than that about him telling me how to drive. I have tried pulling over to the side. Turning the car off getting out and walking. He got into the driver's seat drove up to Mr and started begging me to get back into the car. This was pre-dementia. May I add that I am a competent driver, passed my tests to get a Class B CDL the 1st time, never received a ticket (other than parking) never was in an accident until recently because of my distractions caring for him. These were in parking lots, scraping parked cars and were turned into my insurance agency. Two people have told me, I'm a very calm relaxed driver within the past 5 years and I can parallel park my Suburban in 2 swings. Hence, my frustration over bring criticized by a man who doesn't want to drive all before dementia hit. He still does it but I now remain silent but dragging inwardly. I will try the audio books. I don't really think they'll make much of a difference now but hey, I don't know until I try. Thanks for the great idea.
I have recently become my moms caregiver and your videos are helping me. It’s easy to get frustrated when you don’t understand what is happening, it’s so gradual sometimes.
Boundaries are key. Create an oasis in your house just for you. Music and headphones when needed. Installing doors for some privacy is not that expensive. Plan now for strength since it's only going to get worse.
Thank you for this video, and all of the other information you so freely give. My 70-year-old dad is about 3.5 years since diagnosis and we’ve progressed to about a stage V out of VII. Mom and I are the main caregivers (other family members try but aren’t fully on board). We find ourselves (as I know so many others do) in this weird place of loving Dad where he is but also preparing for whatever comes next. It’s so stressful. And terrifying. Mom and I work as a team and do research and share the responsibilities….and I cannot fathom how so many do it on their own. It’s just a lot. And….I hate dementia. I hate losing my dad piece by piece. Sigh. But we won’t let him go without all the love and support we can give him, as long as we can.
I love this idea! My mother used to be very organized and has a reputation as having an orderly mind. Well this is no longer the case, but I can go through boxes of stuff in my closet that needs to be organized or sorted and have her go through those boxes, one at a time, rather than her reorganizing the kitchen every week (she no longer cooks, and frequently forgets where she has moved something to, thus making things harder for me and my sister, who do all the cooking now). Even if it’s just a box of clothes to be donated, she can sort them by size or season and feel productive and accomplished without making my life harder.
Here’s an activity idea: (after sorting through family photos and taking out the “keepers”) give them a box if photos to “sort,” “identify,” tell stories (real or imagined), etc.
I give my husband all the small towels, wash clothes and socks to fold. He feels he is helping and I tell him how proud of him I am and it makes him happy
My wife was given an MRI two weeks ago for getting dizzy upon standing up,and getting very bad headaches.This past week our family doctor called her in and said her frontal and temporal lobes were more reduced than he thought a 65 year old would be.Sometimes she will mix up the order of a couple of words in a sentence.Or perhaps over treat the dog and cats.She has always had a big interest the well being of all kinds of wild animals.Our front yard looks like a feeding/drinking station for birds,squirrels,rabbits and a chipmunk.But this is something that makes her happy,and gives her a positive outlet for a deep caring for animals.
How about having a box of colored balls or plastic blocks or some other items that have two or three colors and asking your loved one to sort them into separate jars or another box? For men, how about a box of screws or bolts that need sorting? As ever Dr Natalie gives good simple advice that we can all follow.
Yes indeed, my husband who potentially got FTD he recently told me he's got some private space on every level of the house (which is true, it is the cellar to cut wood, his own desk in the basement, a little sleeping room on the first floor with some books and family photographs and the attic workplace for his "screws and bolts" items) so every time he would ask for something to do that I don't want him to I can direct him to one of those places. Which brings me to the point that I won't throw away the masses of "screws and bolts" he collected but to possibly keep him engaged. This video was very helpful. 👍
As I look to the future and my husband's dementia getting worse I also thought of sorting screws and other building odds ands ends as he used to do many building projects.
Thank you so much for everything you do. You have majorly helped my experience with my mom go as smooth as possible. She is at the point, where words only sometimes work. She does not do anything improper at this time, thankfully, but she once expressed a desire to go through the change jar to wrap the coins. I calmly said no, at the time, because I knew she would miscount (and no, I did not tell her that), and she was fine with that. Now I can suggest that she do that, and then I will reset it all, so she can do it again, when she wants to. Hopefully, I won't need the change for something else lol. My point is to always listen to your loved one, because they give you clues to make life easier.
I am planning to buy rolls of three different kinds of coins, pennies because of the color, then dimes and quarters because of the difference in the size. Then I will put them in a bag of some kind. Tell my husband that someone needs to have the coins separated so they can be (counted, put into rolls, turned into the bank, etc.) but first look to see if there might be any really old coins. (My husband used to collect coins.) I also thought about a button jar that need to be separated (fancy ones from plain ones, by color, or look for a specific button that “got lost” in the jar, or find a button to match the one you already have, etc.) Amazon has all sorts of seasonal buttons that would be great for matching (I need all the ________ buttons).
I just want to say thank you so much for your videos. My mom has now passed on but by watching your video we were SOOOO much better equipped to work with her. Thank You Thank You.
I was going crazy with this all winter when I couldn’t take mom out as often due to weather. I bought a few unfinished bird houses, some paint and had her paint them so she could put out this spring. It kept her busy, focused on using her hands but didn’t require any thinking. She painted them all the color of her house, no variation at all 😂 and now wants to keep them all inside for decorations instead of in the flower gardens. I’ve learned to pick and choose my battles wisely for mental preservation so inside decorations they are 😂
My husband was a coin collector so we exchange $100. Of quarters each week at the bank for him to go through looking for something he needs. It is helpful with memory, eye hand coordination and he likes it. It keeps him from ordering stuff on his phone.
My mom in law is probably in the early to middle stages. She has help in the home at night for bout 4 hours, mostly for her husband.. if we go visit at this time, we will bring dinner once or twice a week,she starts complaining about the help"why is she here so long,he doesn't need help..I don't know what she's here for, she doesn't do anything!' She actually bathes him,helps him get ready for bed etc.. she doesn't remember what she does,this seems to be the problem now..We don't know what to say except "Ma she's here to help him so you don't have to" and other logical replies. WHAT should we say instead? They still live in the house together without us.If I started saying "clean out this drawer or something" she'd look at me and say"why do I have to straighten out my drawer, it's fine." She is not at that stage now and it's HER house.
Very frustrating. Is the situation much worse a year later? I suggest making a list of everything done by the caregiver and reading it and actually showing it to your MIL each time she insists the caregiver isn't doing much of anything.
@@dudewhathappenedtomycountr9099 Hi1 Things much different now. My father in law passed about 7 months ago and now she has help in the home. She does pretty well but her memory is really failing. She goes to a daycare a few times a week too. She's at the point now where she doesn't resist the help anymore. She didn't want to go to the daycare either at first,now she accepts it.She seems more aggreeable than she was when he was here.
Ok, I thought that I would never have an idea....... but my mom loves candies, and we have leftover of mixture of Halloween candy. I'm going to have her sort them out into old cottage cheese cartons. She usually restricts her self to 2 or 3 candies so I think she will be safe with the whole bag. Will see how it goes. Thank you to everyone who is sharing ideas.
The problem is keeping them interested in the new activity...they lack focus! And go back to seeing things that aren't there or happening! It's a lot like the terrible 2's
Yup. We tried all kinds of activities. Games. Rumage boxes bags cabnets laundry, art... painting coloring cutting paper. Sometimes they may start to do it, but stops 1 to 2 minutes in. 😢. Likes to wander around the house on her own and just look at things, open what she wants. I think it's a control thing. So much is out of her control and this she can do. Also what seems to reach her is music. She loves watching music videos on TH-cam of her favorite artist come to life or how she remembers. This also seems to help calm her when she is having an episode.
Thanks Natalie, for these great ideas. I am an avid knitter/crocheted...I get my mom to wind my skiens of wool. It gives her hours of fun and makes her feel useful. She can fold clothes, peel potatoes and make suet for the birds. Safe and little tasks. Makes her feel like she is needed.thanks so much for these videos giving us much needed support and understanding. 🥰 Sharon.
Same here I’m the only one take care my mom I get very sad to see her go through in this situation. I cried a lot and pray for her . I feel like thier soul is not calm consistent bitter
I’m going to cry. Thank you so much. Mahalo and God Bless you. Your a Godsend to a wife on Kauai! Merry Christmas everyone. Blessings, grace and mercy, and love.
Mom had old clothes she wanted to throw away. So Ask if there are any good ones we can give to charities? Are there any damaged areas? , or separate laundry by colors so help with the wash. Mom likes folding the sheets with me, also. I can usually get 1 load, small of things to laundry nearly everyday. Socks, towels, sheets, pants underwear. Sort for wash, put these in dryer, or fold out of dryer. Dusting the living room
I am so grateful to you for your video posts which I find helpful. My husband is in early stages of dementia and does not like to socialise, he needs to be occupied. I ask him to help with making bread which he enjoys along with helping with house chores as he like cleaning things and tidying up, I do run out of ideas and your posts I find invaluable. Thank you so much for your help in sometimes a very lonely situation. I send my heartfelt thanks to you.
My husband is in the early stages. He is forgetting many things and easily gets confused. Things are progressing faster now it seems. But he is still so helpful in many ways. I have a bad back and he has taken on my chores that involve a lot of bending, etc. I cook and he cleans up afterwards. He enjoys doing yard work because he isn’t distracted by other things that can confuse him. I will alway want to find things for him to do to help. So important to feel that you still can contribute in the family. I know as time goes on this will change. But during the time he is well aware of what is happening, my support and understanding is needed. I depend on this channel and other helpful ones to navigate this new world that we are in. Thank you so much for all the information and support you provide.
This video was very informative- I was trying to think of ideas to keep my mom occupied during the day when she loses focus on whatever she is is currently doing and you’re video made me realize I can take what I have at home and just re organize and make it safe for her to do and I will have a whole set of activities she can be occupied with. My mom loves paperwork, especially her financial paperwork when she used to do it she had a book that she kept all of her totals and bills in. She had a file drawer that she kept every month each bill she paid and would go through it at the end of the year, now she just goes through papers day. After day your suggestion gave me the idea that I can organize the papers and ask her to write them in her book and then try to file them if I do this and organize them for her, she may be able to do this, because she doesn’t have to pay them or anything. It would be a safe activity for her to do on a daily basis and it would help her because she would have her papers that she loves so much. She would also feel like she is still contributing.
10/26/2024. I had to chuckle at this suggestion. I brought in from the garage a small box of nuts, bolts, and washers. I enthusiastically asked my HWD to help me by separating them. He dove right in and started, however, within minutes he said "this is stupid" and quit. Anyway, back to the drawing board.
I do wait till she's distracted before doing something I know will trigger her to engage in behavior that frustrates me, she just comes right back, though. There's no way to keep them out of our hair other than hiding behind a door.
Great tips , I could use something to replace packing up. Clearly she wants out of the place she is in, if I stay ahaed of this moment all is good, but often I walk into it and she is packed with a coat on waiting to go.
Thank you, Dr Natalie! This video is so very helpful. I'm thinking the silverware drawer that is an absolute mess could be cleaned out, lined with unsticky dollar store paper and put back together. And then another day, maybe the kitchen junk drawer. God bless each person/family who is caring for a loved one with dementia related illness. You are not alone in this, even though it is an isolating experience. -Christy
My 94 year old mother has stage 5 Alzheimers and has now been placed into a Care Home after living alone for 32 years since my dad died. Mother is anti social and now in rapid decline, both mentally and physically. When at home, mother refused all offers of help and went through 4 sets of carers because she said she didn’t need them. Mother was under the Adult Social Care Services and they tried to involve mother into communal activities. Mother declined them all. She was confused, anxious and obsessed with lights, radiators, and cars parked outside her bungalow. Mother was a constant source of concern regarding her health and safety issues whilst at home. She had a fall in June and was eventually admitted to hospital, having refused to go earlier on. Mother spent 3 weeks in there and caught Covid. After being assessed by Social Services, she was finally admitted into her present Care Home. Mother is loathe to participate in activities, saying she is not a child and that colouring books are for school children. She is presently suffering from low blood pressure, very frail and thin. She does not communicate with her peers because she does not like being with old people. Mother sits in the Lounge on her own. Always. She is now beyond socialising, but fortunately remembers a few family members.
Sounds a lot like my mom . She is in a nursing home with undiagnosed dimintia ( non specified) She has reacoring uti since Oct. Just finished her latest round of antibiotics. See urologist in January. She is constantly asking to be taken to the bathroom though she usually doesn't do anything once there. They are trying to make her wait at least a hour before they take her again. She is very anxious and says she is scared. I don't know what to do. After I get her Medicare approved we will try to get her into a memory care unit.
God 94? My mom is only 84. But.🤔 I’m her only caretaker. She lives with me. I was playing a video game to escape. She asked what I was doing. Maybe a coloring book🤔 if I do it first. She’s not as gone as this. But. anything.
Just some suggestions 😀 Try some music from the late 1930's to 1940's see if she likes it. Also sit and watch an old movie/musical together. Read her a book from her childhood era. Im a Nebee just starting out with dimentia with my husband 😢 But I am reseaching any resource I can get my hands on 🙏
If feels like I tried everything, my mom and I has given my grandmother with dementia everything. Like colouring books, TV series, and novels. She doesn't want to do anything, all she wants to do is escape and complain with us and ask us questions because she's so confused. She hides my stuff and I even have to keep my keys in my closet locked up or she'll hide them and then lose them. She mistakes us as strangers and doesn't want to live with us, it is so frustrating.
Yes, it is hard. Yet read some of the other comments and you will find ideas to try. And keep watching these videos! My grandpa years ago had dementia and it was so hard on the family. Especially at the late stages when he didn't even recognize us! Back then there was no TH-cam (1980's), nor many resources that there are today.
My grandma, I take care of her on weekends. And her things is constantly wanting to go home. This isn't her home. She wants to go home! All the time. And if it's not that she's looking for her children. And she constantly falls when she is by herself. She has to have helping getting anywhere.
This came at a perfect time. We are moving my mother into a assistant living space. The movers told us , not to pack things as they will do it another way. So the next day away she goes , tearing up the house in order to move, but it just makes alot of work for us in trying to put it back . We tried to explain it to her , please don't do it , but its not working . I will try your idea as it has to be better than mine!!!
Yes, my husband constantly gives our dog treats and table scrapes. Our dog will sometimes go a day of two not eating any of her dog food due to this. I have just come to accept it. He feeds both the dog and cat every morning, then when I come down to the kitchen I just put the excess back into the pet cans and back in the refrigerator for the next meal. I don’t try to change the behavior as I don’t think I’ll be successful.
Perhaps do a white board with daily checklist to ✅ when they feed them and THEY have to note time and date so they can see they already did it before? Might be some help for the short term memory.
I solved about half the problem by moving the pet food canisters. I think picking up the uneaten cat food is a good idea because he does give it to the dog if he can't find anything else. I now need a solution to his giving our cats milk. His family gave their cats milk when he was young so he thinks it is a natural thing to do. Unfortunately, our cats do not tolerate it.
Yes! I didn't realize anyone else had this issue. I have zipper baggies labeled with the day of the week That is "all the pet food for the day and we have to make sure it lasts". He is now very careful to only use what is in that baggie that day. ( There is more food in the same cupboard, but he doesn't recognize it now.). This may have to change as time goes on and he progresses. I have been thinking about getting an automatic feeder.
Thank You so much for this advice. My mum always feeds our cat too much and he vomits, I will be giving her activities like embroidery or painting or even an adult colouring in book to keep her thought on something else. ❤❤❤
One afternoon my loved one really wanted a gin and tonic which we didnt have so we went into the kkitchen and together made a pot of tea then found our favourite cups and then looked for biscuits ......then we went back and drank the tea in the garden ...no talk of gin!!
My husband is certain his high school yearbook is missing. He’s angry. He can’t find it. We moved awhile back and not all the boxes are unpacked. I’ll try pulling out one of the boxes and asking him to unpack it. He can go through that instead of his trunk (again). Thanks for the tip on being proactive.
Thank you great video, for your feedback it helps to do one of two things with questions. One. Give mic to questioner or two repeat the question so we know what’s been asked. Great thanks.
Problem is im on disability with my own health problems. I'm in too much pain and exhausted all of the time. It's extremely difficult to think of something to give her to do. I can't even take care of myself properly.
That’s a great idea, but unfortunately my husband, who has Frontotemporal dementia is unable to process what he is told. He will merely repeat whatever I say. Also he is bed bound due to a physical disability, so his ‘activity’ is severely limited. Thank you for all that you are doing to help carers. - Dawn 🌅🧡
My mom always wants to go to our neighbors house. We don't really know him. He shovels our driveway sometimes, but we don't talk much. It's usually late at night too. I have no idea what to do. I try distracting her with something else. It never works and i end up angry and frustrated. She ends up screaming at me. He hasn't been turning on his Christmas lights and he's been keeping his house dark. Probably hoping she stops coming over there. She could get hit by a car crossing the street or lost. My sister refuses to put her in a home, but yet runs off to her grandsons house whenever she pleases. Leaves me to deal with her. Doesn't matter if im in pain or exhausted shes going.
Thank you very much for all your great tips, is 2 weeks that I found you, and I have used them with my mother. It has worked very well and taken much of the stress away!❤
I am so glad you asked people to write down what they do to help give their loved ones something different to do. My mind went blank and I couldn’t think of anything clever. I love the bins idea-moving items and sorting them. I have a craft studio with many different safe tools scattered and not organized. It would be a fun project to have a helper go through some bins with me. Thank you for such great ideas!
I am guilty of this, wanting my Mom to stop 🔓 the front door and talking about the past. Since last year in October she had stopped doing those things and just wanted to sit on the couch and watch TV. And then she did stop doing the things I had been asking her to stop. At the end of October she wasn't doing anything including going to the bathroom or talking her medicine, her dementia claimed her now she is not able to walk or speak. She is bed and wheelchair bound. She
No longer available to do anything for her self. Know I am missing the sound of her voice wished I was patient with her before this happened. But she is with me and I am taking care of her.
Thank you Natali for making these videos! I will see what I can do to help my 77 father from screaming and banging on walls all night disrupting everyone in the house trying to sleep. 😞
my aunt, she likes watch TV with a good drama or songs. She loved singing, so she likes to watch songs on TV. but how much she could watch TV. Need to find her some other activities. She is a very old fashion house lady with no reading and writing. So, difficult to think what to give her to do.
My dad keeps getting really angry, and in return it makes me really angry. I can’t tell if it’s him or the dementia… so I don’t know how to respond when he starts going off on me about something. Idk
Most Important thing never take it personal ! He is now the "customer" who is always right just Remember to apologize no matter what!! Then Take a deep breath count to 10 start all over again.. and Don't be proud to Ask for help family members Friends or even have a care taker if only one day a week so you can Breathe and recoup 🧘♀️ it can make a big difference.. Anyone who suffers from Dementia or Alzheimer's disease have no idea what you are going through they are lost and scared because they know something is wrong but can't fix it.. So remember you Can't do this alone and most importantly never take it Personal !! 🧘♀️ take care ❣
@@DianaRojas-hn3xh I’ve been doing it alone for 5 years with my dad. I give God the glory for the strength I could never have done this without Him. As it get tougher with each day, I’m so thankful to still have my dad with me and for making it possible for me to be able to honor my parents as they cared for me in my life. Prayers for all that are choosing to honor their parents during their time of need ❤
My mom started to wail. She says she's singing & it seems to bring her comfort. I tried to give her another activity but it doesn't last or stop. This wailing lasts a very long.
I love the idea of this and have been trying to do it as much as possible. The frustrating part for me is that she won't stay distracted for very long....because she is so easily distracted by other things. For example, if I go in the kitchen to get a glass of water, and sees me open the cabinet or the refrigerator, she immediately gets up to ask what I need, what I'm looking for...etc. How can I redirect her back to the original task without confusing or overwhelming her? And just a side note/vent...I know this is not about me but as a caregiver it is exhausting to come up with ideas and keep up with the psychology behind distracting and redirecting all day. It's hard to accomplish things I need to do for her as well.
My husband is very hard to redirect. I understand about venting. But I have God to vent to. I feel so guilty for fussing at him. But I am human. I get no breaks. I can not get out of his sight. We can only keep loving them and do the best we can. My husband is my blessing.
Install doors with locks at each entrance to the kitchen so she can't see what you're doing in there. You deserve some peace. You don't have to cater 24/7.
I hear you. Unfortunately my wife has focus for less than 3 min. In the next week or two I am getting her to daily daycare. What would be a time frame that would be practical of some that works from home.
I have my LO fold paper towel in half for napkins so we have them for dinner. That way I can make dinner without him under foot. He loves it, he also remember his father doing that.
A woman in the home where my mother lives is pulling drawers and she's getting jealous because they aren't allowed to do this and my mother's bullying her even if she's only sitting on her chair. The nurses aren't giving her an own drawer. 🤔
I have a massive collection of buttons that I ask my family member to sort by color/metal into mason jars. I also buy yarn skeins from the thrift store for them to roll in to yarn balls. In addition, I have sports cards of no value and ask them to sort them into different sport categories, hockey, football, baseball, basketball. Also, separate different pasta shapes from a large mason jar of a mix I've made, into individual mason jars.
8:20 Hi! what if the annoying behavior is putting self on the floor? it’s hard to predict because it mostly happens at night..need a lot of help..please and thank you in advance.
I really like this idea and will start to think of things mum could do. She often comes into the kitchen when I am shattered from cooking a meal and then hovers and starts to criticise a small spot of wet on the surface or a spot of sauce fallen from the pan. It’s always when I am tired and have put loads of effort into creating a meal for us both so I find myself really hurt from her criticism and it’s dangerous when she hovers because I am very hard of hearing and she can startle me when I have hot fat on the stove for instance. I will think about it in a new way. Mum is in fairly new stages of dementia - we live in UK and its been 2 plus years yet and we still don’t have a diagnosis or access to any help of any kind so this site is a God-send. One tip I can share - mum has this habit of becoming very aggressive and banging her hand on the table in a restaurant when she feels they should have brought her drink by now (we will only have ordered!!). I have bought a crossword book and now suggest we try a couple of questions as a distraction rather than address her behaviour directly. This is beginning to work and we are often both surprised when sometimes she can in fact answer a question correctly.
I have been hired to take care of a couple with dementia. They are quite elderly. Also hard of hearing. They spend most of the day screaming at me to leave the house. They don’t need me. They don’t know why I’m there. They’re able to take care of themselves, they’re not used to having somebody in their house. I do leave during different portions of the day to give them a break and sometimes they don’t remember that I was gone for a while and so things are kind of quiet but then they ramp back up. I’m not sure what stage they are in. I’m going to study up on that. I’m a retired RN and have some experience with this hospital. Experience does not relate to home care
I planted flowers for my mother because she was cutting our pumpkins before they were ready. I grew a lot of different cut flowers and potted herbs for her. She stopped cutting the pumpkins and started cutting and arranging her flowers. It also got her to spend more time outside and walk around the backyard.
That's awesome!
Good idea 💡
I do this for my family member with dementia. She loves to rummage through her things. I brought her an 18 gallon tote and a couple smaller 12-16 quart storage bins and filled them with random items. She likes to go through the containers and moves items between the bins. It works to keep her focused on something positive.
My husband often criticizes my driving and this gets very annoying, particularly when we are on a day trip. I found some audio books he finds enjoyable and listening to these on our trip has significantly decreased his repeated criticisms.
brilliant!
Me too.. I have had my driving licence for 60 years!!
Ooh I’m going go to try this! Thx
I love this idea. My husband and I are married 41 years and we have been arguing for more than that about him telling me how to drive. I have tried pulling over to the side. Turning the car off getting out and walking. He got into the driver's seat drove up to Mr and started begging me to get back into the car. This was pre-dementia. May I add that I am a competent driver, passed my tests to get a Class B CDL the 1st time, never received a ticket (other than parking) never was in an accident until recently because of my distractions caring for him. These were in parking lots, scraping parked cars and were turned into my insurance agency. Two people have told me, I'm a very calm relaxed driver within the past 5 years and I can parallel park my Suburban in 2 swings. Hence, my frustration over bring criticized by a man who doesn't want to drive all before dementia hit. He still does it but I now remain silent but dragging inwardly. I will try the audio books. I don't really think they'll make much of a difference now but hey, I don't know until I try. Thanks for the great idea.
We use different colour socks 🧦 and have 20 pairs and we pulled them apart and get her to pair them up and then we fold napkins as well
I have recently become my moms caregiver and your videos are helping me. It’s easy to get frustrated when you don’t understand what is happening, it’s so gradual sometimes.
Boundaries are key. Create an oasis in your house just for you. Music and headphones when needed. Installing doors for some privacy is not that expensive. Plan now for strength since it's only going to get worse.
Thank you for this video, and all of the other information you so freely give. My 70-year-old dad is about 3.5 years since diagnosis and we’ve progressed to about a stage V out of VII. Mom and I are the main caregivers (other family members try but aren’t fully on board). We find ourselves (as I know so many others do) in this weird place of loving Dad where he is but also preparing for whatever comes next. It’s so stressful. And terrifying. Mom and I work as a team and do research and share the responsibilities….and I cannot fathom how so many do it on their own. It’s just a lot. And….I hate dementia. I hate losing my dad piece by piece. Sigh. But we won’t let him go without all the love and support we can give him, as long as we can.
Beautiful and amazing ❤May God bless you and your family
I love this idea! My mother used to be very organized and has a reputation as having an orderly mind. Well this is no longer the case, but I can go through boxes of stuff in my closet that needs to be organized or sorted and have her go through those boxes, one at a time, rather than her reorganizing the kitchen every week (she no longer cooks, and frequently forgets where she has moved something to, thus making things harder for me and my sister, who do all the cooking now). Even if it’s just a box of clothes to be donated, she can sort them by size or season and feel productive and accomplished without making my life harder.
Here’s an activity idea: (after sorting through family photos and taking out the “keepers”) give them a box if photos to “sort,” “identify,” tell stories (real or imagined), etc.
I give my husband all the small towels, wash clothes and socks to fold. He feels he is helping and I tell him how proud of him I am and it makes him happy
I do the same with my Dad ...... He also helps with light washing up
My wife was given an MRI two weeks ago for getting dizzy upon standing up,and getting very bad headaches.This past week our family doctor called her in and said her frontal and temporal lobes were more reduced than he thought a 65 year old would be.Sometimes she will mix up the order of a couple of words in a sentence.Or perhaps over treat the dog and cats.She has always had a big interest the well being of all kinds of wild animals.Our front yard looks like a feeding/drinking station for birds,squirrels,rabbits and a chipmunk.But this is something that makes her happy,and gives her a positive outlet for a deep caring for animals.
How about having a box of colored balls or plastic blocks or some other items that have two or three colors and asking your loved one to sort them into separate jars or another box? For men, how about a box of screws or bolts that need sorting?
As ever Dr Natalie gives good simple advice that we can all follow.
Yes indeed, my husband who potentially got FTD he recently told me he's got some private space on every level of the house (which is true, it is the cellar to cut wood, his own desk in the basement, a little sleeping room on the first floor with some books and family photographs and the attic workplace for his "screws and bolts" items) so every time he would ask for something to do that I don't want him to I can direct him to one of those places. Which brings me to the point that I won't throw away the masses of "screws and bolts" he collected but to possibly keep him engaged. This video was very helpful. 👍
@@Corinna_Schuett_GER
As I look to the future and my husband's dementia getting worse I also thought of sorting screws and other building odds ands ends as he used to do many building projects.
Craft beads would be great to sort. It takes hours to sort through a big jar of those.
Thank you so much for everything you do. You have majorly helped my experience with my mom go as smooth as possible. She is at the point, where words only sometimes work. She does not do anything improper at this time, thankfully, but she once expressed a desire to go through the change jar to wrap the coins. I calmly said no, at the time, because I knew she would miscount (and no, I did not tell her that), and she was fine with that. Now I can suggest that she do that, and then I will reset it all, so she can do it again, when she wants to. Hopefully, I won't need the change for something else lol. My point is to always listen to your loved one, because they give you clues to make life easier.
I am planning to buy rolls of three different kinds of coins, pennies because of the color, then dimes and quarters because of the difference in the size. Then I will put them in a bag of some kind. Tell my husband that someone needs to have the coins separated so they can be (counted, put into rolls, turned into the bank, etc.) but first look to see if there might be any really old coins. (My husband used to collect coins.)
I also thought about a button jar that need to be separated (fancy ones from plain ones, by color, or look for a specific button that “got lost” in the jar, or find a button to match the one you already have, etc.) Amazon has all sorts of seasonal buttons that would be great for matching (I need all the ________ buttons).
My mother retired from the post office. I give her "mail" to read and sort.
Brilliant!
I love that idea!
I just want to say thank you so much for your videos. My mom has now passed on but by watching your video we were SOOOO much better equipped to work with her. Thank You Thank You.
Sending so much love to you. Thank you for all you did for your mom. 💖
I was going crazy with this all winter when I couldn’t take mom out as often due to weather. I bought a few unfinished bird houses, some paint and had her paint them so she could put out this spring. It kept her busy, focused on using her hands but didn’t require any thinking. She painted them all the color of her house, no variation at all 😂 and now wants to keep them all inside for decorations instead of in the flower gardens. I’ve learned to pick and choose my battles wisely for mental preservation so inside decorations they are 😂
My husband was a coin collector so we exchange $100. Of quarters each week at the bank for him to go through looking for something he needs. It is helpful with memory, eye hand coordination and he likes it. It keeps him from ordering stuff on his phone.
My mom in law is probably in the early to middle stages. She has help in the home at night for bout 4 hours, mostly for her husband..
if we go visit at this time, we will bring dinner once or twice a week,she starts complaining about the help"why is she here so long,he doesn't need help..I don't know what she's here for, she doesn't do anything!' She actually bathes him,helps him get ready for bed etc.. she doesn't remember what she does,this seems to be the problem now..We don't know what to say except "Ma she's here to help him so you don't have to" and other logical replies. WHAT should we say instead? They still live in the house together without us.If I started saying "clean out this drawer or something" she'd look at me and say"why do I have to straighten out my drawer, it's fine." She is not at that stage now and it's HER house.
Very frustrating. Is the situation much worse a year later? I suggest making a list of everything done by the caregiver and reading it and actually showing it to your MIL each time she insists the caregiver isn't doing much of anything.
@@dudewhathappenedtomycountr9099 Hi1 Things much different now. My father in law passed about 7 months ago and now she has help in the home. She does pretty well but her memory is really failing. She goes to a daycare a few times a week too. She's at the point now where she doesn't resist the help anymore. She didn't want to go to the daycare either at first,now she accepts it.She seems more aggreeable than she was when he was here.
Ok, I thought that I would never have an idea....... but my mom loves candies, and we have leftover of mixture of Halloween candy. I'm going to have her sort them out into old cottage cheese cartons. She usually restricts her self to 2 or 3 candies so I think she will be safe with the whole bag. Will see how it goes. Thank you to everyone who is sharing ideas.
This is great advice to keep in my dementia " toolbox". My husband isn't at this stage yet, but I'm learning so much from each week's post. Thank you!
The problem is keeping them interested in the new activity...they lack focus! And go back to seeing things that aren't there or happening! It's a lot like the terrible 2's
Yep that’s been my experience too
Yup. We tried all kinds of activities. Games. Rumage boxes bags cabnets laundry, art... painting coloring cutting paper. Sometimes they may start to do it, but stops 1 to 2 minutes in. 😢. Likes to wander around the house on her own and just look at things, open what she wants. I think it's a control thing. So much is out of her control and this she can do. Also what seems to reach her is music. She loves watching music videos on TH-cam of her favorite artist come to life or how she remembers. This also seems to help calm her when she is having an episode.
Thanks Natalie, for these great ideas. I am an avid knitter/crocheted...I get my mom to wind my skiens of wool. It gives her hours of fun and makes her feel useful. She can fold clothes, peel potatoes and make suet for the birds. Safe and little tasks. Makes her feel like she is needed.thanks so much for these videos giving us much needed support and understanding. 🥰 Sharon.
My mum is being abusive to me it's killing me I love her so much it's destroying me I love her so much
I am sorry.
Remind yourself it's not your mom doing it, it's the sickness..
Same here I’m the only one take care my mom I get very sad to see her go through in this situation. I cried a lot and pray for her . I feel like thier soul is not calm consistent bitter
I feel your pain, my mom with dementia does the same to me. I Iove my Mom too and it breaks my heart.
I’m going to cry. Thank you so much. Mahalo and God Bless you. Your a Godsend to a wife on Kauai! Merry Christmas everyone. Blessings, grace and mercy, and love.
Watching my mom wake and walk wake and walk while learning from you. Thank God I found your channel. Blessings from homeless in Indiana
Ask loved one to fold warm towels from the drier (big or small towels to suit persons abillity). Warmth is very calming, too.
Mom had old clothes she wanted to throw away. So Ask if there are any good ones we can give to charities? Are there any damaged areas? , or separate laundry by colors so help with the wash. Mom likes folding the sheets with me, also. I can usually get 1 load, small of things to laundry nearly everyday. Socks, towels, sheets, pants underwear. Sort for wash, put these in dryer, or fold out of dryer. Dusting the living room
Lovely!
I am so grateful to you for your video posts which I find helpful. My husband is in early stages of dementia and does not like to socialise, he needs to be occupied. I ask him to help with making bread which he enjoys along with helping with house chores as he like cleaning things and tidying up, I do run out of ideas and your posts I find invaluable. Thank you so much for your help in sometimes a very lonely situation. I send my heartfelt thanks to you.
My husband is in the early stages. He is forgetting many things and easily gets confused. Things are progressing faster now it seems. But he is still so helpful in many ways. I have a bad back and he has taken on my chores that involve a lot of bending, etc. I cook and he cleans up afterwards. He enjoys doing yard work because he isn’t distracted by other things that can confuse him. I will alway want to find things for him to do to help. So important to feel that you still can contribute in the family. I know as time goes on this will change. But during the time he is well aware of what is happening, my support and understanding is needed. I depend on this channel and other helpful ones to navigate this new world that we are in. Thank you so much for all the information and support you provide.
Hey TH-cam! This is SO HELPFUL to me!!!
This video was very informative- I was trying to think of ideas to keep my mom occupied during the day when she loses focus on whatever she is is currently doing and you’re video made me realize I can take what I have at home and just re organize and make it safe for her to do and I will have a whole set of activities she can be occupied with. My mom loves paperwork, especially her financial paperwork when she used to do it she had a book that she kept all of her totals and bills in. She had a file drawer that she kept every month each bill she paid and would go through it at the end of the year, now she just goes through papers day. After day your suggestion gave me the idea that I can organize the papers and ask her to write them in her book and then try to file them if I do this and organize them for her, she may be able to do this, because she doesn’t have to pay them or anything. It would be a safe activity for her to do on a daily basis and it would help her because she would have her papers that she loves so much. She would also feel like she is still contributing.
I had my mother shred all my old papers . She did forget how to do it every so often, I had to keep an eye on her but she was happy doing it .
I love the “nuts and bolts” idea!
10/26/2024.
I had to chuckle at this suggestion. I brought in from the garage a small box of nuts, bolts, and washers. I enthusiastically asked my HWD to help me by separating them. He dove right in and started, however, within minutes he said "this is stupid" and quit. Anyway, back to the drawing board.
I do wait till she's distracted before doing something I know will trigger her to engage in behavior that frustrates me, she just comes right back, though. There's no way to keep them out of our hair other than hiding behind a door.
Great tips , I could use something to replace packing up. Clearly she wants out of the place she is in, if I stay ahaed of this moment all is good, but often I walk into it and she is packed with a coat on waiting to go.
My mum in law stares at me. I think it's for reassurance, but omword it freaks me out. Good advice here.
Thank you again. Some new ideas to do. He used to cut up old invoices or mail. Going to add folding towels and sorting drawers
I love how practical your suggestions are. Thank you!!
Thank you, Dr Natalie! This video is so very helpful. I'm thinking the silverware drawer that is an absolute mess could be cleaned out, lined with unsticky dollar store paper and put back together. And then another day, maybe the kitchen junk drawer. God bless each person/family who is caring for a loved one with dementia related illness. You are not alone in this, even though it is an isolating experience. -Christy
My 94 year old mother has stage 5 Alzheimers and has now been placed into a Care Home after living alone for 32 years since my dad died. Mother is anti social and now in rapid decline, both mentally and physically. When at home, mother refused all offers of help and went through 4 sets of carers because she said she didn’t need them. Mother was under the Adult Social Care Services and they tried to involve mother into communal activities. Mother declined them all. She was confused, anxious and obsessed with lights, radiators, and cars parked outside her bungalow. Mother was a constant source of concern regarding her health and safety issues whilst at home. She had a fall in June and was eventually admitted to hospital, having refused to go earlier on. Mother spent 3 weeks in there and caught Covid. After being assessed by Social Services, she was finally admitted into her present Care Home. Mother is loathe to participate in activities, saying she is not a child and that colouring books are for school children. She is presently suffering from low blood pressure, very frail and thin. She does not communicate with her peers because she does not like being with old people. Mother sits in the Lounge on her own. Always. She is now beyond socialising, but fortunately remembers a few family members.
... yeeeahh... dammit... that's how it goes sometimes... :( looks like you managed the best arc available given the sitch, good on ya.
Thankyou . It’s been quite a battle but we got there in the end.
Sounds a lot like my mom . She is in a nursing home with undiagnosed dimintia ( non specified)
She has reacoring uti since Oct. Just finished her latest round of antibiotics. See urologist in January.
She is constantly asking to be taken to the bathroom though she usually doesn't do anything once there. They are trying to make her wait at least a hour before they take her again.
She is very anxious and says she is scared. I don't know what to do.
After I get her Medicare approved we will try to get her into a memory care unit.
God 94? My mom is only 84. But.🤔 I’m her only caretaker. She lives with me. I was playing a video game to escape. She asked what I was doing. Maybe a coloring book🤔 if I do it first. She’s not as gone as this. But. anything.
Just some suggestions 😀 Try some music from the late 1930's to 1940's see if she likes it. Also sit and watch an old movie/musical together. Read her a book from her childhood era. Im a Nebee just starting out with dimentia with my husband 😢 But I am reseaching any resource I can get my hands on 🙏
I love this 😊 I’m going to pass this on to my Dad to try with my Mom.
Count Scrabble tiles to make sure we have enough letters of each for a later game.
Brilliant!
If feels like I tried everything, my mom and I has given my grandmother with dementia everything. Like colouring books, TV series, and novels. She doesn't want to do anything, all she wants to do is escape and complain with us and ask us questions because she's so confused. She hides my stuff and I even have to keep my keys in my closet locked up or she'll hide them and then lose them. She mistakes us as strangers and doesn't want to live with us, it is so frustrating.
Yes, it is hard. Yet read some of the other comments and you will find ideas to try. And keep watching these videos!
My grandpa years ago had dementia and it was so hard on the family. Especially at the late stages when he didn't even recognize us! Back then there was no TH-cam (1980's), nor many resources that there are today.
My grandma, I take care of her on weekends. And her things is constantly wanting to go home. This isn't her home. She wants to go home! All the time. And if it's not that she's looking for her children. And she constantly falls when she is by herself. She has to have helping getting anywhere.
This came at a perfect time. We are moving my mother into a assistant living space. The movers told us , not to pack things as they will do it another way. So the next day away she goes , tearing up the house in order to move, but it just makes alot of work for us in trying to put it back . We tried to explain it to her , please don't do it , but its not working . I will try your idea as it has to be better than mine!!!
I asked my husband to match a basket of socks and put them together when he was following me around.
I was just wondering if anyone else had issues with overfeeding pets. Thank you for the advice.
Yes, my husband constantly gives our dog treats and table scrapes. Our dog will sometimes go a day of two not eating any of her dog food due to this. I have just come to accept it. He feeds both the dog and cat every morning, then when I come down to the kitchen I just put the excess back into the pet cans and back in the refrigerator for the next meal. I don’t try to change the behavior as I don’t think I’ll be successful.
Perhaps do a white board with daily checklist to ✅ when they feed them and THEY have to note time and date so they can see they already did it before? Might be some help for the short term memory.
I solved about half the problem by moving the pet food canisters. I think picking up the uneaten cat food is a good idea because he does give it to the dog if he can't find anything else. I now need a solution to his giving our cats milk. His family gave their cats milk when he was young so he thinks it is a natural thing to do. Unfortunately, our cats do not tolerate it.
@@lindarosenkoetter1254 Isn't there sth like lactose-free milk? And mix with water (right in the package), they will tolerate this.
Yes! I didn't realize anyone else had this issue. I have zipper baggies labeled with the day of the week That is "all the pet food for the day and we have to make sure it lasts". He is now very careful to only use what is in that baggie that day. ( There is more food in the same cupboard, but he doesn't recognize it now.). This may have to change as time goes on and he progresses. I have been thinking about getting an automatic feeder.
Thank you for your kindness and wealth of knowledge
Thank you, I have started doing the dishes together having client dry the dishes. I’m happy with this arrangement, it’s a win win ❣️
Maybe you could ask them for help with towels that just came out of the dryer. Or help them to put their clothes away.
I tried this with my dad this past week and he loved it. It gave him a sense of accomplishment and pride.
Thank You so much for this advice.
My mum always feeds our cat too much and he vomits, I will be giving her activities like embroidery or painting or even an adult colouring in book to keep her thought on something else. ❤❤❤
You are an amazing human being. Your channel has been incredibly helpful and a great source of guidance and understanding for me! Also-Yay Miko!!! :)
You and the other people who comment are really helping me in my journey.❤
One afternoon my loved one really wanted a gin and tonic which we didnt have so we went into the kkitchen and together made a pot of tea then found our favourite cups and then looked for biscuits ......then we went back and drank the tea in the garden ...no talk of gin!!
Thank you! This gives me so many things to think about! ❤️💜
Very good info thank you.
If I get up from my chair my husband says “what can I do? Can I help you” it sometimes drives me to distraction!!😮
My husband is certain his high school yearbook is missing. He’s angry. He can’t find it. We moved awhile back and not all the boxes are unpacked. I’ll try pulling out one of the boxes and asking him to unpack it. He can go through that instead of his trunk (again). Thanks for the tip on being proactive.
I found out a few years ago what was going on with my husband and you have helped me so much!!
Thank you, this totally made sense!! I'm new to caring for mum with dementia. I will try your ideas! Thanx
Thank you great video, for your feedback it helps to do one of two things with questions. One. Give mic to questioner or two repeat the question so we know what’s been asked. Great thanks.
Excellent advice
Problem is im on disability with my own health problems. I'm in too much pain and exhausted all of the time. It's extremely difficult to think of something to give her to do. I can't even take care of myself properly.
That’s a great idea, but unfortunately my husband, who has Frontotemporal dementia is unable to process what he is told. He will merely repeat whatever I say. Also he is bed bound due to a physical disability, so his ‘activity’ is severely limited. Thank you for all that you are doing to help carers. - Dawn 🌅🧡
My mom always wants to go to our neighbors house. We don't really know him. He shovels our driveway sometimes, but we don't talk much. It's usually late at night too. I have no idea what to do. I try distracting her with something else. It never works and i end up angry and frustrated. She ends up screaming at me. He hasn't been turning on his Christmas lights and he's been keeping his house dark. Probably hoping she stops coming over there. She could get hit by a car crossing the street or lost. My sister refuses to put her in a home, but yet runs off to her grandsons house whenever she pleases. Leaves me to deal with her. Doesn't matter if im in pain or exhausted shes going.
Thank you very much for all your great tips, is 2 weeks that I found you, and I have used them with my mother. It has worked very well and taken much of the stress away!❤
Thank you for what you're sharing.
Blessins to us all.
I am so glad you asked people to write down what they do to help give their loved ones something different to do. My mind went blank and I couldn’t think of anything clever. I love the bins idea-moving items and sorting them. I have a craft studio with many different safe tools scattered and not organized. It would be a fun project to have a helper go through some bins with me. Thank you for such great ideas!
Your ideAs are so great. As a creative Careblazers also have a hard time coming up with new and replaceable activities too! Thats why you are great!
I am guilty of this, wanting my Mom to stop 🔓 the front door and talking about the past. Since last year in October she had stopped doing those things and just wanted to sit on the couch and watch TV. And then she did stop doing the things I had been asking her to stop. At the end of October she wasn't doing anything including going to the bathroom or talking her medicine, her dementia claimed her now she is not able to walk or speak. She is bed and wheelchair bound. She
No longer available to do anything for her self. Know I am missing the sound of her voice wished I was patient with her before this happened. But she is with me and I am taking care of her.
Thank you Natali for making these videos! I will see what I can do to help my 77 father from screaming and banging on walls all night disrupting everyone in the house trying to sleep. 😞
What a lot of great ideas to cope xxxx thanks xxx
Very helpful information. Thank you very much.
I really like your current method of giving us direct action suggestions for dealing with our dementia loved ones...very helpful!!! Thank you!!
my aunt, she likes watch TV with a good drama or songs. She loved singing, so she likes to watch songs on TV. but how much she could watch TV. Need to find her some other activities. She is a very old fashion house lady with no reading and writing. So, difficult to think what to give her to do.
My dad keeps getting really angry, and in return it makes me really angry. I can’t tell if it’s him or the dementia… so I don’t know how to respond when he starts going off on me about something. Idk
Probably the dementia. Seek a neuropsychological assessment.
@@alexmorgan3435 thank you
Most Important thing never take it personal ! He is now the "customer" who is always right just Remember to apologize no matter what!! Then Take a deep breath count to 10 start all over again.. and Don't be proud to Ask for help family members Friends or even have a care taker if only one day a week so you can Breathe and recoup 🧘♀️
it can make a big difference.. Anyone who suffers from Dementia or Alzheimer's disease have no idea what you are going through they are lost and scared because they know something is wrong but can't fix it.. So remember you Can't do this alone and most importantly never take it Personal !! 🧘♀️ take care ❣
@@DianaRojas-hn3xh I’ve been doing it alone for 5 years with my dad. I give God the glory for the strength I could never have done this without Him. As it get tougher with each day, I’m so thankful to still have my dad with me and for making it possible for me to be able to honor my parents as they cared for me in my life. Prayers for all that are choosing to honor their parents during their time of need ❤
@@dorothycotten5231 thank you! I really needed to hear this
My mom started to wail. She says she's singing & it seems to bring her comfort. I tried to give her another activity but it doesn't last or stop. This wailing lasts a very long.
I've been watching you for a while you're very informative and I like you quite a bit you're smart thank you keep doing what you're doing
Useful advice. Thank you. Liked to help your algo figures.
I love the idea of this and have been trying to do it as much as possible. The frustrating part for me is that she won't stay distracted for very long....because she is so easily distracted by other things. For example, if I go in the kitchen to get a glass of water, and sees me open the cabinet or the refrigerator, she immediately gets up to ask what I need, what I'm looking for...etc. How can I redirect her back to the original task without confusing or overwhelming her? And just a side note/vent...I know this is not about me but as a caregiver it is exhausting to come up with ideas and keep up with the psychology behind distracting and redirecting all day. It's hard to accomplish things I need to do for her as well.
My husband is very hard to redirect. I understand about venting. But I have God to vent to. I feel so guilty for fussing at him. But I am human. I get no breaks. I can not get out of his sight. We can only keep loving them and do the best we can. My husband is my blessing.
Install doors with locks at each entrance to the kitchen so she can't see what you're doing in there. You deserve some peace. You don't have to cater 24/7.
I hear you. Unfortunately my wife has focus for less than 3 min. In the next week or two I am getting her to daily daycare. What would be a time frame that would be practical of some that works from home.
Thank you. I am learning a lot.
Thanks for your videos ❤
I have my LO fold paper towel in half for napkins so we have them for dinner. That way I can make dinner without him under foot. He loves it, he also remember his father doing that.
A woman in the home where my mother lives is pulling drawers and she's getting jealous because they aren't allowed to do this and my mother's bullying her even if she's only sitting on her chair. The nurses aren't giving her an own drawer. 🤔
❤You are a blessing Dr. Natalie thank you for everything you do for us
I have a massive collection of buttons that I ask my family member to sort by color/metal into mason jars. I also buy yarn skeins from the thrift store for them to roll in to yarn balls. In addition, I have sports cards of no value and ask them to sort them into different sport categories, hockey, football, baseball, basketball. Also, separate different pasta shapes from a large mason jar of a mix I've made, into individual mason jars.
constantly going through drawers and rearranging things and losing things
I love your channel ~ thank you 🙏💜
My grandparents both are severely demented. Took me years to figure out why they ask the same question 5 times in a row
Yes ma’am. You right about everything you said, you give a wonderful tips about how to help them.❤
8:20 Hi! what if the annoying behavior is putting self on the floor? it’s hard to predict because it mostly happens at night..need a lot of help..please and thank you in advance.
I’m here for the ideas because this is now a situation with my Dad.
You have so many helpful ideas. I truly appreciate your suggestions.
I really like this idea and will start to think of things mum could do. She often comes into the kitchen when I am shattered from cooking a meal and then hovers and starts to criticise a small spot of wet on the surface or a spot of sauce fallen from the pan. It’s always when I am tired and have put loads of effort into creating a meal for us both so I find myself really hurt from her criticism and it’s dangerous when she hovers because I am very hard of hearing and she can startle me when I have hot fat on the stove for instance. I will think about it in a new way. Mum is in fairly new stages of dementia - we live in UK and its been 2 plus years yet and we still don’t have a diagnosis or access to any help of any kind so this site is a God-send. One tip I can share - mum has this habit of becoming very aggressive and banging her hand on the table in a restaurant when she feels they should have brought her drink by now (we will only have ordered!!). I have bought a crossword book and now suggest we try a couple of questions as a distraction rather than address her behaviour directly. This is beginning to work and we are often both surprised when sometimes she can in fact answer a question correctly.
Thank you and God bless you. 🙏
How do I distract mum when I take her back to her own apartment and she gets upset when I leave her? 8:26
I need suggestions to occupy my HWP that was an avid woodworker and worked with big presses and metal as work. Every activity he did is now unsafe.
Well said, as always.
Thank you, Tim 💖
My sister keeps wanting to go home whilst she already is home.
I will try to think of some ideas to give another option.
Thanks !!!
I have been hired to take care of a couple with dementia. They are quite elderly. Also hard of hearing. They spend most of the day screaming at me to leave the house. They don’t need me. They don’t know why I’m there. They’re able to take care of themselves, they’re not used to having somebody in their house. I do leave during different portions of the day to give them a break and sometimes they don’t remember that I was gone for a while and so things are kind of quiet but then they ramp back up. I’m not sure what stage they are in. I’m going to study up on that. I’m a retired RN and have some experience with this hospital. Experience does not relate to home care