I agree. Aaliyah was robbed of accountability from Lydia in the reunion. Yes I applaud Milton for his maturity and conviction to stand beside who he chose as his wife. But the way he stood up for Lydia, simulatiously dismissing Aaliyah was not cool. Aaliyah asked hard questions but was always respectful. The way Nick lachey led Lydia out of her answer to move on, also dismissing Aaliyah was not cool either. Aaliyah deserved better.
And when Vanessa bailed her out with a leading question "was this specific thing what happened maybe" and lydia says, I couldn't have put it better myself! Yeah well she didn't have to, because Vanessa said it for her. Always protecting the married couple smh
@@mbalitshabalala7562 She originally tried to leave after the conversation where they talked about her infidelity but the producers convinced her to stay and try to work on it with him.
@@Kimberly.Macron this! I think he was using logic for all his reasonings, which made him look "mature". If he really was highly emotionally intelligent, he wouldn't have said those things to Aaliyah!
To me what made Aaliyah start to lose trust was the fact that Uche "omitted" to disclose that he'd slept with Lydia only three months ago and made it sound like some distant thing.
Your analysis of how Aaliyah was treated at the reunion was how I felt. I really didn’t like how Vanessa said “well you know Aaliyah at the end of the day everything happened the way it should have.” All I could think was Nooo if Lydia and Uche were told to be honest EVERYONE would’ve had an even playing field! 🤦🏽♀️
They (production, Nicke/Vanessa) also didn't take accountability for encouraging participants to withold critical information for too long. They really need to get rid of Nick and Vanessa - they add no value, and have no chemistry with the participants or each other.
At the end of the day, it is business for them. The show is not.going to admit the messed up incase they get sued.or people lose interest. So they gaslit her.
I think you missed talking about how Uche downplayed his relationship with Lydia and it wasn’t until Aaliyah told him she knew that he had recently slept with Lydia - that his whole posture changed. Literally went from relaxing on the couch and gaslighting her to sitting up and trying to control the narrative.
This is also when he started talking badly about Lydia. My guess is, he got scared about what else Lydia could tell and decided to invalidate her character to make Lydia seem untrustworthy and unreliable to Aaliyah.
It's kindof like your whole life thinking it was Vanilla folders not Manilla folders. Hey! They are the same color as the ice cream, right?! I was in my thirties when I finally read the package... Manilla, not Vanilla. 😆
Aaliyahs LIB experience was cut short because of Lydia BUT if anything Lydia did her a favour. It was a blessing in disguise. Even if they ended up married it would not have been a happy healthy marriage.
Aliyah later revealed that she lost trust in Uche when he said he casually dated Lydia for a few weeks, and Lydia said something like 2 years. I totally understand why Aaliyah bolted. In a normal situation, you could process through the situation with friends, family, or your therapist. Aaliyah (in the pod) was isolated from her support system and her closest connections in the pod (Uche, Lydia, producers) lied to her and were the source of her turmoil. I believe Aaliyah was unraveling and needed to stablize herself.
I agree with you about Uche's intentions at the party. He seemed desperate to stir up trouble and thought Milton could be easily swayed but Milton stood by his woman. Milton is the most mature to me and yet the youngest of the group.
It's funny, while I see why so many view Milton that way as he's very calm and self-assured, he also seems extremely out of his comfort zone when it comes to any and all outward expressions of emotion, as if he believes "emotions are for weak people" and shies away from any situation where he is required to display empathy and compassion
@@bydivadream I disagree. He lacks emotional vulnerability because that's how he was raised...that's how his family is. He explains this and it is why he admires his wife's passion and ability to be emotional.
@@nikkilove6128 it's a positive to see different points of view! and yes, it's absolutely a result of his environment growing up. I personally think that it has stunted his emotional maturity but since Lydia is also the extreme opposite, it seems like they have been able to help each other (and in turn, themselves) by making their way towards the "healthy" middle :)
Uche has been addressing the cheating on Lydia allegations on his IG, he specifically says "No Lydia and I were never together. We dated for a short time and were both seeing other people. In casting we were asked to disclose who our most recent relationships were with. If she believed we were in one, she would have disclosed my name or photo and the producers would not have allowed both of us on the show." So idk I think i think there is some truth to both sides. If Uche is crying over how he doesn't want to hurt Lydia on the show and acts so strongly towards her, then how can he claim they were NEVER together? Perhaps a situationship but why would you call someone your ex if you aren't in any type of relationship? It just doesn't add up the way he keeps tabs on her during and after the show. Aaliyah dodged a huge bullet, that man is full of something not good!
Lydia gives me the creeps. I think she fell hard for Uche and he had no idea this was happening, it’s clear that the relationship didn’t mean anything to him. Just like when Lydia fell for Izzy and thought they had something special, when actually, Izzy’s body language and communication was saying exactly the opposite, he was clearly not into her during their dates. And Lydia’s inability to read Aaliyah’s body language to show that she was extremely uncomfortable with her during the word-vomit scene is concerning.
i think its a downside to lydias expressiveness that she is so steadfast in her outward expression that she doesn't (or maybe can't?) observe how it affects others, which leads to a lot of rejection.
Okay thank you for touching on Aliyah’s response to the cheating. I feel like Uche was so out of line in the way he handled the situation, and Aliyah was not ready to take accountability for cheating in the past.
Eh if I did something two years ago and processed it within myself I literally would not put up with someone trying to make me feel guilty about it again.
But she didn’t process it within himself, very clearly. Over and over she tried to minimize and justify what happened instead of just taking clear accountability
Aalyiah had said she had worked on herself and had gone to therapy. I think the guilt of something like this is something that never really goes away and it was probably feeling that guilt and perhaps not having to to address it in a new relationship that made her come across the way she did. I know it couples counseling it often gets talked about how partners can trigger each other in different ways that can elicit a less mature reaction in people. For instance, with Uche acting authoritarian on the matter it can elicit a response from aalyiah to respond in a more childish way, but that doesn't necessarily correlate to how she thinks or responds on this matter outside of this context.
You cannot process something if you have not told the person you betrayed! I don't know why everyone sees this as something only for her to process when part of processing guilt is the understanding of how to hurt someone else, she didn't do that because she never told her ex, so I absolutely agree with you@@sierrahealey4500
Uche and Lydia had a (relatively) long term situationship and I wish they'd admit that. They probably was doing all the things couples do (so Lydia attaches) but TECHNICALLY never made it exclusive (so Uche has an excuse). Its been my hypothesis since the jump because it would make both parties opinions quite valid. Lydia is right to emotionally feel like it was cheating but maybe be sure hes 100% your partner. And Uche knows what playing house can do but wanted an out/excuse for his behavior outside of Lydia
Same. Never seen not one ep of LIB but have seen every single analysis Mrs. Anya has uploaded. Proud to say it too. I’ve gained perspective on relationships and open communication due to these vids.
Did anyone notice how they actually had food and other normal drinks this season? Their lawsuit had them make major changes. People didn’t act so drunk in their living quarters and actually communicated. They seemed like they were in better moods while dating.
That's a good point! I'd love to hear from the cast how they felt about their environment; did they think they had all the food & drinks they wanted, were they paid a reasonable amount of money, how did producers treat them overall, etc.
Im just glad that Lydia told about their hook up few months before, because Uche made it look like it was just few weeks relationship from two years ago. When in fact they were in and off for that whole time
Lydia did Aaliyah a huuuuuge favor. You won't say it, but I will. He's a narcissist. Having spent 4 years with a diagnosed narcissist, Uche checks every box. The manipulation, building an image of how he wants to be portrayed, the callous, self centered, hurtful way he minimizes and dismisses other people's feelings, how he's emotionally hurtful on purpose, his life story with 15 different versions depending on which 1 would give him the most sympathy at the moment, the gaslighting, his completely bland robotic nature which only gets excited when angry, spreading rumors and trying to use everyone to gang up on someone he's angry at. Yea, you can't say it, but I will. Uche is a narcissist. Which would also explain at least in part how Lydia found herself in therapy after their breakup. Being with a narcissist can do a number on your mental health. Aaliyah dodged a huuuuge bullet.
Someone can do every one of these things and still not be a narcissist. He might be. But, the fact that so many people feel comfortable giving a stranger a clinical diagnosis from and edited TV show is alarming. Anya is correct to not feed into that mess as a professional.
@aneatrice28 yea, people can do any combination of those things at any given time, but keep in mind he was on the show for only a few weeks. Yea, these shows are edited, BUT no normal person is going to rack up that many bad deeds that quickly. So, yea I feel comfortable saying he's a narcissist.
Just in that conversation about Aaliyah’s past, it was giving asshole. He was giving her the third degree like she cheated on him or something. His character showed itself to be exactly what I thought as time went on.
I'm not as familiar with narcissism, but all I can say is that I never got over the way he spoke to her in that cheating conversation. I've been in abusive relationships, and I can't always explain what someone is doing wrong, but I can explain when it triggers me, and that conversation did. It was especially painful to see Aaliyah crying so desperately about him on multiple occasions because she couldn't figure out how to make him happy so she could have him. It felt way too familiar. I'm so glad she didn't end up with him.
Honestly unpopular opinion, but Lydia did aaliyah a favor .... imagine if Lydia never told aaliyah anything. Aaliyah would e went through this whole experience with a man like Uxhe, (who didnt even find her his type) and Uche would've STILL chased Lydia, making aaliyah more uncomfortable....
I must say that i am sooo happy that i found your channel and videos breaking down the relationship dynamics on Love is Blind and other series. It makes me feel like im discussing the show with a close friend because you catch every minute detail that im thinking about when watching the show lol.
Sometimes I feel its hard to judge the situation with Uche and Aaliyah because its so all over the place, specifically between Lydia and Uche. I feel we don't hear enough from Lydia about the nature of her and Uche's relationship, and her feelings about him, aside from when she dumps on Aaliyah about all the random personal details. I want Lydia to elaborate on the whole "start from ground zero" thing with Uche when they first met in the pods. It could have been editing, but it seemed she was willing to pursue the relationship with Uche again, at least at that moment! Either way, pretty unfair to Aaliyah overall, even if she didn't handle everything perfectly. Weird situation overall! Weirdest of the season.
I'm guessing though that Uche and Lydia reconnected in the pods day one, because I think everyone dates all 15 people that day which might indicate that Lydia and Aayliah didn't even have time to know each other day 1.
I think Lydia had something to do with uche and Aliyah not working BUT I don’t believe uche wanted to be with Aliyah after meeting up and the party/bbq was after their meet up. He acted outright childish and it wasn’t all the way because his relationship with Aliyah didn’t work out. He was seeing Aliyah at the time. He disrespected many people and acted like like an egotistical ** and let me say Aliyah is BEAUTIFUL
@@user-yy4ux9zf4r I agree, I think Uche's type was Miriam, and that may explain why he was particularly nasty to her at the barbecue (considering how petty and childish he is), but personality-wise they could never work.
Lydia didn't do anything. Aaliyah was already planning to leave uche from the cheating comment. Him trying to downplay his relationship with Lydia by lying by omission just solidified her decision
@@user-yy4ux9zf4ruche was the one who robbed himself of an experience. By being a douch to aliyah and the other girls. At least if he was such a good guy he would have managed to have another option like Zach did with bliss when his connection got ruined. Lol even the men don't like uche and that says a lot.
Full circle moment! I used to watch your videos during the lunch breaks of a job I hated. It was the best 30min escape. Now I’m watching in between reading for my MFT Grad School courses! Thanks for being the most amazing inspo ❤😊
Where was Uche even going with that "Is this fate?". I can understand why am emotional person like Lydia would think that means hes considering starting over.
Yeah I rewatched that clip and he was the one who brought up fate first. Even though everyone always wrongly attributes it to Lydia. I think Lydia was wrong in how she treated Aaliyah and her boundaries but I don’t think she came on this show hoping to meet Uche.
I agree a lot of people skipped over this. unless a lot of the conversation was edited out, he still shut it down quickly enough that I wouldn't have gone around saying he wanted to start from ground zero if I was Lydia
Thank you! Someone else noticed that Lydia did in fact lie about uche saying they should start over. I think everyone was quick to make uche the villain but they didn’t see the red flags from Lydia either.
Steph, can you cover the Brazilian version of Love is blind? Season 3, please! :) I’m Brazilian and It would be interesting to see your perspective on relationships in another culture. As someone that have watched the US version and the Brazilian one, I can say the couple’s dynamic are different.
I agree. He then says he doesn’t want to, but his reason for that is that he thinks it’s not good for the experiment. That can be interpreted as “I actually want to, if it wasn’t for the experiment”. Especially if Lydia still had some feelings for him, she would want to interpret it that way.
Yeah and Lydia seems to be a bit slow with picking up other people’s hesitation because she wants it so bad. Same thing happened with her and Izzy. He needed to spell out to her that he wasn’t interested after she wasn’t picking up on any of his clues
@@IceIceIfeno as a man izzy just wasnt clear enough he kept talking to ger like they are similar and every time she said theh are so alice and in tune he said yes and good
It definitely seemed like Lydia was trying to save face by making it seem like she was the one that decided not to pursue Uche in the pods. I think it was a pride thing, but also reassuring Aaliyah and Milton that she's over that situation. I don't personally think she was. As for Uche. He said either on IG or in an interview that his words were edited when they met after the pods. They agreed to continue dating at that point.
I agree with you. I also interpreted the Uche/Lydia pod date as Lydia being the one very interested. Even though Uche said something along the lines of “maybe this is fate”, I didn’t take it as interest in Lydia. Maybe he meant it as fate to decline 🤣 lol jk I think that was just a polite thing to say with someone you’re not interested in anymore but don’t know what to say to them
I was not at all surprised Uche was the villain, I immediately knew from his cadence something was extremely off. Then the bomb went: talked well about others, recanted with vicious insults, then took it back. Manipulating others with malicious intent of ruining their images, we all saw it. He tried very hard to salvage any favorable self image but 🌚 My brother does the same thing. No diagnosis but we all know what we saw. Crocodile tears and calculated manipulation. Not at all surprised, these people are scary to be around, they will say ANYTHING to be sympathized with. Probably why Uche still reached out to Milton even thought it was clear they were not friendly at all.. damage control on his image. Made perfect sense to me why Aliyah left as she had that weirdo and Lydia both on her 🤷♀️
I am so *glad* to finally see someone talking about the actual content of what Aaliyah said, of course a lot of people do not displaying understanding of nuance online and needed a villian and a hero, but what Aaliyah was saying, even a more reasonable person would have been taken aback! Thank you for your insight as always
When I was 19 I kissed somebody else and my boyfriend was emotionally devastated. I told him right away because I thought nothing of it and chalked it up to a drunken night out with a girl - he did not see it that way and he did not care what gender the person was. when I saw his face at that momen I wanted to die I never knew I was capable of causing someone that much pain- I’d never done anything so bad that I truly didn’t even think would “count” seeing someone you love in pure agony and knowing it was your fault is a guilt beyond all description - you have no desire to have anything good. I went on to allow people to hurt me or belittle me and looking back something in my head must have felt like I owed a karmaic debt. Like I need to go through this because of what I did to someone else. All that to say Uch has no right to say his infidelity at any age in any way is somehow more acceptable than anyone else’s
Does anyone else think that Uche was acting like he didn’t recognize Lydia’s voice when he totally did🫠🙄 They both knew that each other would be there, 100%
Yes was about to say they continued to date even tho the show played it differently. Hated this season and Uche is textbook def narcissist! Milton killed it 🔥
Lydia seems to misread a lot of situations so I believe she genuinely thought Uche was serious about starting over, since he brought up “this being fate”. It seems like he only said he didn’t want to move forward because of optics (just like he didn’t say anything bad about Lydia cause he didn’t want to seem like a guy who talks crap about his ex).
Uche is egotistical, narcissistic, and all around comes across as being shady and a terrible person. When Lydia started telling Aliya all those things about Uche, it genuinely just seemed like RELIEF. Like, when you've been keeping this big secret and bottling it up and then finally it comes to light, you're so relieved that you just let it all out because you've had to hold it in for so long. I'm not saying it was right to tell her things she didn't want to know, but I don't think there was ulterior motive behind it, it was just relief to finally be allowed to be honest.
To me it definitely felt off - like there was an ulterior motive, consciously or subconsciously. Who on earth would feel so comfortable talking about an ex to the new gf? Totally ignoring context, body language etc. shows selfishness that she just wanted to blurt out whatever was on her mind instead of taking a second to be like Uh wait this might be uncomfortable for her. No, she only cared abt herself and that’s red flag enough.
Uche stated that he and Lydia never officially dated so there is no way he could’ve cheated, I think that he did sleep with someone else but because there wasn’t a title, he didn’t see it as cheating.
They a hundred percent were not on the same page. Uche sounds like the type of guy who mentally distinguishes between dating and exclusively dating but will not have the conversation. If Lydia was more invested, but they never had the talk, then yes-she does see it as Uche cheated on her. But from the perspective of a LAWYER, if you’re not exclusive, it’s not cheating-no matter how emotionally invested Lydia was.
I can really see how supportive you are as a therapist because you are aware on not to impose your own views and thoughts about a patient and their relationships and misuse your 'power' to make them leaning towards particular decision. I think this is so important as we all come from different backgrounds, upbringings and social systems. Additionally i feel it is very important that you use these reality TV shows as a learning opportunity about communication and empathy within a relationship, as so many people watch these shows and get an often unrealistic idea of what a real-life relationship should look like.
I’ve been binge watching your videos and I’m mesmerised! So insightful. I don’t know if Ultimatum is on your radar, but I feel like breaking down some participants from that show could make really interesting content. I’d personally love to see that! Just an idea. Thank you so much for your work!! ❤
I love your videos! They help So much to understand dynamics in general. I wonder.. Has anyone from the Show ever commented on his own analysis that you did? Like getting things right, acknowledgement or hate?
Please break down Love is Blind Brazil! It would be a great opportunity to see cultural differences too. The first season has people who are 30+ years old, it would be amazing to see your analysis
Uche in a Q & A video said he never broke up with Aliyah when they met at the restaurant. He said they kissed and agreed to date outside the pods and Aliyah verified this on a podcast episode she did with ‘the beys tv’ and both of their reasons why production manipulated that particular scene was because they were offered the opportunity to return the show and get engaged and continue the process like Zack and bliss did and they refused.
About the casting call both Lydia and Uche saw. Let's assume they were kind of dating at that time. Or at least Lydia thought that and Uche made her feel that way but was not sure or willing to fully commit to their relationship. No one would ever tell the other they applied for the show. There was no reason. My husband and I watch the Show and another one where people get married just based on facts without knowing each other. We also saw the casting call for those and he asked me if I would apply for such a show. I said yes. He wouldn't. That's it. People talk about that to get an idea how the other person thinks. And if things ended up dirty between those two why should they tell the other they applied for the show. I wouldn't. And even if they applied and knew... They would probably not know if the application process was successful for the both of them. So I don't really get all the fuss.
I think Lydia could apply with a hope that Uche would be there (based on her reaction for him in pods) but there is nothing wrong in having hope. It's not like she's the evil mastermind whi orchestrated everything 😂
@@Ola_Stawinskashe’s not but people are missing that production is. They literally orchestrated this entire thing. Uche and Lydia despite their individual faults didn’t hide they knew each other. Producers had knowledge they knew each other at the very beginning and instead of dropping one of them from the show they chose to keep both on. Worse they made them withhold that information because they were counting on that inflicting pain for any involved parties and it did. They are the evil mastermind. Lol. Yet people are ignoring them to give smoke to the contestants when arguably production is the MOST to blame for how messy this got and how unfairly Aaliyah was treated. I see why they’re currently facing MULTIPLE lawsuits.
Great and thorough breakdown as usual🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 A lot of things spoke to me in this video! Both to things I need to improve about myself and things that I'm doing right!
thank you so much for sharing your perspectives and voice ! earlier today i found you in some videos on healthline and was genuinely hoping you would make more content and thankfully found your channel! im so glad, thank you for dedicating your time, thought and effort into these videos and others.
First of all i need to qualify what I’m about to say with, i absolutely love,love,love your content! I think you do an amazing job of breaking down things that are easy to understand and give us insight on how to even apply it to our own life. ( i had my husband listen to your point on apologizing and he thought it made sense too so we both benefited from it!) that said i want to nudge a little bit not necessarily push back but nudge on the over sharing part because as a Puerto Rican women, i think some of how Lydia acted came from her cultural upbringing. Not saying it was right but more a faux pas on her part. If i remember correctly Lydia has been in the states less than 3 years so she’s coming from a different cultural society, where some of the things she did came from her norm in culture as suppose to malice. Now im not saying all of it was innocent but i don’t think all of it was malice either. I’ve been in Tx for over 30 years but i remember when i got here it was definitely an adjustment for me. How people spoke and responded to different things. Hence cultural shock. When i first got to Tx, people had the southern niceties thing going on and when ever i would go into a store people would say hi how are you? And i would respond but as i entered my 15th store i was asked it again and when i left the store i was so annoyed that someone asked me again that i finally asked my husband. Why the heck do people keep asking me how I’m doing?! Do i look like something is wrong with me?! Do i look sick?! And my husband was like no that’s kinda how they greet you it’s not that something is wrong with you 😂and then i got it! But it wasn’t until i was explained that that it became clear to me because in Puerto Rico as good manners you say good, morning, good afternoon, good evening as a greeting. So i can understand why you would look at it and have the opinion that you have. But i kind of try to give her the benefit of the doubt. Knowing the things that i know. I felt the need to say this because a lot of the times watching shows like this we miss that component of cultural differences. I’ve been guilty too. When i watch 90 day fiancé and shows like that, that bring people in from different cultures. Again i see bad behavior in Lydia I’m not excusing her one bit. But i don’t see her as a bad person more like someone that still has some growing and self loving to do. This is all imho. Again love what you do and i feel you’re so good at what you do. God bless.
This was both of their worst nightmares. Home girl should have never met him at the restaurant. Manipulation and ebrace the guilt is not a cup of tea I will ever sip on and show my Teens this is how you see red flags!! # hotttttmeeessss
41:57 i think they only didn't make this kind of party in first season (they had enough drama with Jessica 😅) but on second season there was a beach party, where i remember Shana came (she was broken uo with Kyle already), and some other people from pods too. In third season there was a party where Nancy was talking to that guy who fake cried after their break up and in fourth there was a birthday of Chelsea where also people from pods came that lady who was with Paul before, and of course the guy Jackie went for later (i forgot so many names! 😂). They do it to stir the drama in between people who got engaged and the ones they dated in the pods.
I really appreciate you covering this video. Based on Aaliyah and Lydia's friendships, I don't think Aaliyah and Uche would have gotten along even outside of the show; Aaliyah and Lydia’s bond was too strong for her to not feel betrayed by her ignorance of their past relationship.
I believe that Uche did cheat on Lydia. However I also don’t think that the relationship was long term or as serious for Uche as it was for Lydia. Once again, with the way Uche reacted to Aaliyah’s cheating revelation, Uche did not want to admit that he had done the same thing recently as well. He is very concerned with how he appears to others and the way people view him and strongly holds on to things that he believes will give him the moral high ground. Uche is very focused on being seen as a “good guy” & when people don’t buy into that, like Miriam, he lashes out and demeans others to make them seem like they are not as good, trustworthy or moral as him.
You know what I don’t understand- why are people acting like Lydia got on the show just for Uche… HOW is that even possible? Just because she applied doesn’t mean she automatically gets to be on the show so why is everyone acting like even IF that was her intention that’s the reason she got on the show?
I don’t think that’s actually what most viewers believe…like you said, that simply wouldn’t be possible, lol. There are lots of ppl (myself being one) who believe that Lydia found out that Uche was going to be on the show prior to it starting, and she’s never been forthcoming about that. It’s kinda creepy and deceptive😅 It’s really not that hard to know if ppl in your network are going to be on these shows. For example, a season of Married at first sight aired in the city that I’m from and went to school in (and, I’m black lol). Even before the show started filming, I found out who 2 black cast members were that I knew. People talk, lol. And we can all tell that Lydia Ig stalks and was prob checking for Uche in all the months leading to filming. I think people just don’t get a genuine, altruistic vibe from her like she loves to portray of herself, and if she were honest about things like this (and, stalking Uche’s female Ig followers’ stories, for example) it would be more believable that she just genuinely wants to be this woman who’s there for her friends🫠 And btw, to my point, I totally think Uche knew she’d be there as well, lol.
@@Veryvery987 So what was she supposed to do? Give up on a unique opportunity just because her ex was selected as well? No one in their right mind would've done it, even if she knew or suspected that.
It was pretty obvious to me that Uche didn't find Aaliyah physically attractive. That's why he dismissed her when they met in person. If she was someone he felt was attractive their conversation would've been a LOT different. Every bone in my body says he's a colorist.
Uche spoke out and said that the meet up scene at the dinner between him and Aaliyah was edited where he’s not in the frame when he says “it’s over”, Uche said that during the meet up they agreed to date
I don't know if you'll read this but I was hoping maybe you could break down Single's Inferno? It's a Korean dating show (with subtitles) and the drama in it is interesting to say the least. Love your videos btw ❤❤
@Steph, would you talk about the escalating behaviors that have been shown on LIB that has culminated w two lawsuits- one on SA and one on neglect from the production company? I have been horrified w what they've shown- so I can only imagine why the two couples were cut this season (although I watched Renee's interview on Natalie and Deepti's podcast, and have read things from the legal aspect of the SA allegations).
Anya this was so great! You really pointed out some great things and managed to humanise Uche - I can see that he was coming from a hurt place and just trying to control his narrative. As for the manipulation and gaslighting - well he is a lawyer
Lydia asked Uochi, "are you going to be okay if I find someone?" And it happened! I'm sure this why Uochi got pissed. She sabotaged his relationship with Aayliah
This was the absolute worse Ulche and Lydia played mind games and was not held accountable…these shows allow to much room for toxic boarder line verbal and emotional abuse for the sake of drama and entertainment then within the sanctity of marriage. I am with everyone else this last season completely turned me off it’s been getting worse and worse
You forgot to talk about how he never told Aaliyah, he slept with Lydia just 3 months ago …. He was actually shock when he realize Lydia told Aaliyah the truth
I agree Anya! Lydia definitely had an impact on Aaliyah and Uche's relationship. Lydia was not a good friend to Aaliyah because she specifically told Aaliyah things she didnt want to know about an ex she claims she was over. I believe that Lydia had feelings for Uche and his were not as strong as hers. I do think Uche's crying about Lydia not being hurt was a cop out and his crying or getting emotional was because he knew he did some messy things in his relationship with Lydia that might jeaprodize his relationship with Aaliyah. Uche is very manipulative and will turn on someone quickly thus making him untrustworthy. I do also think that Aaliyah should have not just left but sent Uche a letter. In the end they Aaliyah and Uche wouldn't have worked anyway. For Uche love Isn’t blind.
it did not seem to me like Uche wanted to start over with Lydia, but I think Lydia likely did think that his comment "is this a sign" was serious and not a joke, so she might have misinterpreted that? Idk
42:40 I agree with your perspective about Lydia’s effect on Aaliyah removing herself from the pods, but not to the degree Uche says. And I don’t know at which point the BBQ takes place in relation to when Aaliyah sat down to lunch with Uche. The fact that Uche refused to ever validate any of Aaliyah’s feelings on what she was experiencing with Lydia in the pods makes me place higher blame on his inability to care for Aaliyah’s perspective and feelings. He blamed Lydia for ruining his chances at a relationship with Aaliyah but I believe the fact that she still considered (and entered into) a relationship with Uche after leaving the pods and being away from Lydia puts the ball more in his court. Aaliyah disclosed that she got the harsh, confrontational side of Uche during their period of dating more than the version of him she became attracted to in the pods. Uche very much likes to bend the narrative using women as his scapegoat.
Chances the producers knew about Uche and Lydia's past? Just to start drama, they know is inevitable? If so, that's sick and shows the intention of LIB.
I was very confused why Uche thought it was somehow important that - months before the show - Lydia was following his friends, etc. If it was after the show then maybe it would have some bearing. Who cares if she took time to get over him before the show even began? Clearly, only Uche cares.
I know this isn’t related to this video, but I would love to see a breakdown of the impact ATL episode when Ari sat down with her father. Love your videos btw! 💕
Saying Lydia is the direct influence for Uche and Aaliyah to breakup is just crazy. Adults have full faculty to make decisions on their own. All Aaliyah had to do was to let go of what Lydia said. Further those two did date and Uche told Izzy that he isn’t attracted to her. As much as I sympathize with Aaliyah, she should have stayed at the exp if she thought Uche was worth her time. She clearly felt both are shady and that’s why she left. And seeing what we saw it was a good call
Lydia giving her more info that Uche initially did was a good call. Uche dug into the info she gave him but Aliyah wasn't willing to do the same when it came to his relationship history. She'd just accept things so passively.
Yes Aaliyah did make the decision, but she made it based on what was going on, so of course tmwhat Lydia was telling her had an influence on her decision. Its hard to just "let go" of this kind of information when you get something opposite for her and from him and there is no way to confirm what is true.
@@snailmailmagic1133 she told her that they slept together three months before, and Uche told her that they dated for two weeks like two years before (that's what she said in some interview, ehat Uche said i think was not aired).
@@Ola_Stawinska Basically Uche hid information which is true. How is that Lydia's fault. If anything she was honest about it thinking Uche would be a decent human to share this.
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I agree. Aaliyah was robbed of accountability from Lydia in the reunion. Yes I applaud Milton for his maturity and conviction to stand beside who he chose as his wife. But the way he stood up for Lydia, simulatiously dismissing Aaliyah was not cool. Aaliyah asked hard questions but was always respectful. The way Nick lachey led Lydia out of her answer to move on, also dismissing Aaliyah was not cool either. Aaliyah deserved better.
Absolutely, Milton completely derailed Aaliyah from her attempt to get at the truth from Lydia.
And when Vanessa bailed her out with a leading question "was this specific thing what happened maybe" and lydia says, I couldn't have put it better myself! Yeah well she didn't have to, because Vanessa said it for her. Always protecting the married couple smh
Aaliyah ran away. With just one day left, she chose flight. Smh.
@@mbalitshabalala7562 She originally tried to leave after the conversation where they talked about her infidelity but the producers convinced her to stay and try to work on it with him.
@@Kimberly.Macron this! I think he was using logic for all his reasonings, which made him look "mature". If he really was highly emotionally intelligent, he wouldn't have said those things to Aaliyah!
To me what made Aaliyah start to lose trust was the fact that Uche "omitted" to disclose that he'd slept with Lydia only three months ago and made it sound like some distant thing.
Exactly, and he was trying to prove Aaliyah that she was herself a “recent cheater”
The Audacity is just too much
@@thamaretienne5995The double standard was insane. I was almost agreeing with him until that plot twist came in.
Your analysis of how Aaliyah was treated at the reunion was how I felt. I really didn’t like how Vanessa said “well you know Aaliyah at the end of the day everything happened the way it should have.” All I could think was Nooo if Lydia and Uche were told to be honest EVERYONE would’ve had an even playing field! 🤦🏽♀️
They (production, Nicke/Vanessa) also didn't take accountability for encouraging participants to withold critical information for too long. They really need to get rid of Nick and Vanessa - they add no value, and have no chemistry with the participants or each other.
@@leahg1424 FACTS!!! The gaslighting was so real
@@FaithWalksyes that was sooo dismissive and messed up
At the end of the day, it is business for them. The show is not.going to admit the messed up incase they get sued.or people lose interest. So they gaslit her.
@leahg1424 aren't nick and Vanessa employees just like the participants and they aren't even as involved. I like them
I think you missed talking about how Uche downplayed his relationship with Lydia and it wasn’t until Aaliyah told him she knew that he had recently slept with Lydia - that his whole posture changed. Literally went from relaxing on the couch and gaslighting her to sitting up and trying to control the narrative.
This is also when he started talking badly about Lydia. My guess is, he got scared about what else Lydia could tell and decided to invalidate her character to make Lydia seem untrustworthy and unreliable to Aaliyah.
After this season, I have no interest in Love is Blind at all.
I second that!
If they ever go back to Texas, I’m passing! The TX seasons are too much and immature
I don't...I still love the show😢
I literally only watched the first season and then only followed along through her break downs 😅 I have stopped giving the actual show my views
I feel the same way. Production only cares about drama instead of helping people find a partner to marry.
Today I finally heard it: "What's Anya Mind??" That's clever. Only took me two years. 😂
😆 love this comment
I thought it said “whats on ya mind” wow😂 i was close
It's kindof like your whole life thinking it was Vanilla folders not Manilla folders. Hey! They are the same color as the ice cream, right?! I was in my thirties when I finally read the package... Manilla, not Vanilla. 😆
Aaliyahs LIB experience was cut short because of Lydia BUT if anything Lydia did her a favour. It was a blessing in disguise. Even if they ended up married it would not have been a happy healthy marriage.
Aliyah later revealed that she lost trust in Uche when he said he casually dated Lydia for a few weeks, and Lydia said something like 2 years. I totally understand why Aaliyah bolted. In a normal situation, you could process through the situation with friends, family, or your therapist. Aaliyah (in the pod) was isolated from her support system and her closest connections in the pod (Uche, Lydia, producers) lied to her and were the source of her turmoil. I believe Aaliyah was unraveling and needed to stablize herself.
I agree with you about Uche's intentions at the party. He seemed desperate to stir up trouble and thought Milton could be easily swayed but Milton stood by his woman. Milton is the most mature to me and yet the youngest of the group.
It's funny, while I see why so many view Milton that way as he's very calm and self-assured, he also seems extremely out of his comfort zone when it comes to any and all outward expressions of emotion, as if he believes "emotions are for weak people" and shies away from any situation where he is required to display empathy and compassion
@@bydivadream I disagree. He lacks emotional vulnerability because that's how he was raised...that's how his family is. He explains this and it is why he admires his wife's passion and ability to be emotional.
@@nikkilove6128 it's a positive to see different points of view! and yes, it's absolutely a result of his environment growing up. I personally think that it has stunted his emotional maturity but since Lydia is also the extreme opposite, it seems like they have been able to help each other (and in turn, themselves) by making their way towards the "healthy" middle :)
Uche has been addressing the cheating on Lydia allegations on his IG, he specifically says "No Lydia and I were never together. We dated for a short time and were both seeing other people. In casting we were asked to disclose who our most recent relationships were with. If she believed we were in one, she would have disclosed my name or photo and the producers would not have allowed both of us on the show." So idk I think i think there is some truth to both sides. If Uche is crying over how he doesn't want to hurt Lydia on the show and acts so strongly towards her, then how can he claim they were NEVER together? Perhaps a situationship but why would you call someone your ex if you aren't in any type of relationship? It just doesn't add up the way he keeps tabs on her during and after the show. Aaliyah dodged a huge bullet, that man is full of something not good!
Lydia gives me the creeps. I think she fell hard for Uche and he had no idea this was happening, it’s clear that the relationship didn’t mean anything to him. Just like when Lydia fell for Izzy and thought they had something special, when actually, Izzy’s body language and communication was saying exactly the opposite, he was clearly not into her during their dates. And Lydia’s inability to read Aaliyah’s body language to show that she was extremely uncomfortable with her during the word-vomit scene is concerning.
i think its a downside to lydias expressiveness that she is so steadfast in her outward expression that she doesn't (or maybe can't?) observe how it affects others, which leads to a lot of rejection.
She seems stalkerish
Okay thank you for touching on Aliyah’s response to the cheating. I feel like Uche was so out of line in the way he handled the situation, and Aliyah was not ready to take accountability for cheating in the past.
Eh if I did something two years ago and processed it within myself I literally would not put up with someone trying to make me feel guilty about it again.
But she didn’t process it within himself, very clearly. Over and over she tried to minimize and justify what happened instead of just taking clear accountability
Aalyiah had said she had worked on herself and had gone to therapy. I think the guilt of something like this is something that never really goes away and it was probably feeling that guilt and perhaps not having to to address it in a new relationship that made her come across the way she did. I know it couples counseling it often gets talked about how partners can trigger each other in different ways that can elicit a less mature reaction in people. For instance, with Uche acting authoritarian on the matter it can elicit a response from aalyiah to respond in a more childish way, but that doesn't necessarily correlate to how she thinks or responds on this matter outside of this context.
You cannot process something if you have not told the person you betrayed! I don't know why everyone sees this as something only for her to process when part of processing guilt is the understanding of how to hurt someone else, she didn't do that because she never told her ex, so I absolutely agree with you@@sierrahealey4500
Uche and Lydia had a (relatively) long term situationship and I wish they'd admit that. They probably was doing all the things couples do (so Lydia attaches) but TECHNICALLY never made it exclusive (so Uche has an excuse). Its been my hypothesis since the jump because it would make both parties opinions quite valid. Lydia is right to emotionally feel like it was cheating but maybe be sure hes 100% your partner. And Uche knows what playing house can do but wanted an out/excuse for his behavior outside of Lydia
How long were they together for?
@@RatAttack11112 years apparently
I didn’t watch this season because I heard it was extra toxic, but you bet I am watching every video in this series 😂
Haha love the support! Thank you!!!
Same. Never seen not one ep of LIB but have seen every single analysis Mrs. Anya has uploaded. Proud to say it too. I’ve gained perspective on relationships and open communication due to these vids.
Same!
Same honestly
I was losing interest by episode 4 and quit episode 5. The rest I watched through TH-cam reviews and analysis
Did anyone notice how they actually had food and other normal drinks this season? Their lawsuit had them make major changes. People didn’t act so drunk in their living quarters and actually communicated. They seemed like they were in better moods while dating.
That's a good point! I'd love to hear from the cast how they felt about their environment; did they think they had all the food & drinks they wanted, were they paid a reasonable amount of money, how did producers treat them overall, etc.
lol definitely! they made SURE those snacks were in the shot 😭
Izzy was so drunk in one of his arguments with Stacey, it was painful to watch. Somehow I hadn't noticed that in past seasons!
@@katyclemens Jessica Batten- season 1?
@@saravieira90yes!!
Im just glad that Lydia told about their hook up few months before, because Uche made it look like it was just few weeks relationship from two years ago. When in fact they were in and off for that whole time
Lydia did Aaliyah a huuuuuge favor. You won't say it, but I will. He's a narcissist. Having spent 4 years with a diagnosed narcissist, Uche checks every box. The manipulation, building an image of how he wants to be portrayed, the callous, self centered, hurtful way he minimizes and dismisses other people's feelings, how he's emotionally hurtful on purpose, his life story with 15 different versions depending on which 1 would give him the most sympathy at the moment, the gaslighting, his completely bland robotic nature which only gets excited when angry, spreading rumors and trying to use everyone to gang up on someone he's angry at. Yea, you can't say it, but I will. Uche is a narcissist. Which would also explain at least in part how Lydia found herself in therapy after their breakup. Being with a narcissist can do a number on your mental health. Aaliyah dodged a huuuuge bullet.
😂 I really love how you say TWICE, you won't say it but I will. He's a narcissist
Someone can do every one of these things and still not be a narcissist. He might be. But, the fact that so many people feel comfortable giving a stranger a clinical diagnosis from and edited TV show is alarming. Anya is correct to not feed into that mess as a professional.
@aneatrice28 yea, people can do any combination of those things at any given time, but keep in mind he was on the show for only a few weeks. Yea, these shows are edited, BUT no normal person is going to rack up that many bad deeds that quickly. So, yea I feel comfortable saying he's a narcissist.
Just in that conversation about Aaliyah’s past, it was giving asshole. He was giving her the third degree like she cheated on him or something. His character showed itself to be exactly what I thought as time went on.
I'm not as familiar with narcissism, but all I can say is that I never got over the way he spoke to her in that cheating conversation. I've been in abusive relationships, and I can't always explain what someone is doing wrong, but I can explain when it triggers me, and that conversation did. It was especially painful to see Aaliyah crying so desperately about him on multiple occasions because she couldn't figure out how to make him happy so she could have him. It felt way too familiar. I'm so glad she didn't end up with him.
That party solidified that the show has become desperate for drama. These irrelevant non-engaged people added zero value
can’t wait to see your video on Izzy & Stacy next!!
Editing right now!
@@StephAnyayesss😂
Honestly unpopular opinion, but Lydia did aaliyah a favor .... imagine if Lydia never told aaliyah anything. Aaliyah would e went through this whole experience with a man like Uxhe, (who didnt even find her his type) and Uche would've STILL chased Lydia, making aaliyah more uncomfortable....
I must say that i am sooo happy that i found your channel and videos breaking down the relationship dynamics on Love is Blind and other series. It makes me feel like im discussing the show with a close friend because you catch every minute detail that im thinking about when watching the show lol.
I absolutely love your content but this theme song? EATS everytime. I walk away from a video still singing this around the house😭🔥
That makes me so happy 🥰
Sometimes I feel its hard to judge the situation with Uche and Aaliyah because its so all over the place, specifically between Lydia and Uche. I feel we don't hear enough from Lydia about the nature of her and Uche's relationship, and her feelings about him, aside from when she dumps on Aaliyah about all the random personal details. I want Lydia to elaborate on the whole "start from ground zero" thing with Uche when they first met in the pods. It could have been editing, but it seemed she was willing to pursue the relationship with Uche again, at least at that moment! Either way, pretty unfair to Aaliyah overall, even if she didn't handle everything perfectly. Weird situation overall! Weirdest of the season.
I'm guessing though that Uche and Lydia reconnected in the pods day one, because I think everyone dates all 15 people that day which might indicate that Lydia and Aayliah didn't even have time to know each other day 1.
@@samanthas8340this is what i thought aswell
I think Lydia had something to do with uche and Aliyah not working BUT I don’t believe uche wanted to be with Aliyah after meeting up and the party/bbq was after their meet up. He acted outright childish and it wasn’t all the way because his relationship with Aliyah didn’t work out. He was seeing Aliyah at the time. He disrespected many people and acted like like an egotistical ** and let me say Aliyah is BEAUTIFUL
She is beautiful but she might not be Uche’s type and that is okay. i feel like Uche was robbed out of an experience of a lifetime
@@user-yy4ux9zf4r I agree, I think Uche's type was Miriam, and that may explain why he was particularly nasty to her at the barbecue (considering how petty and childish he is), but personality-wise they could never work.
Lydia didn't do anything. Aaliyah was already planning to leave uche from the cheating comment. Him trying to downplay his relationship with Lydia by lying by omission just solidified her decision
@@user-yy4ux9zf4ruche was the one who robbed himself of an experience. By being a douch to aliyah and the other girls. At least if he was such a good guy he would have managed to have another option like Zach did with bliss when his connection got ruined. Lol even the men don't like uche and that says a lot.
Full circle moment! I used to watch your videos during the lunch breaks of a job I hated. It was the best 30min escape. Now I’m watching in between reading for my MFT Grad School courses! Thanks for being the most amazing inspo ❤😊
Where was Uche even going with that "Is this fate?". I can understand why am emotional person like Lydia would think that means hes considering starting over.
This is a statement many people glossed over
True! He said "is this fate?" and then she interrupted with "the blessing in disguise?"! She could think that he also wanted to start over initially.
I don’t think he generally meant he wanted to actually get back with her tbh. I think he said that due to disbelief that it was her.
Yeah I rewatched that clip and he was the one who brought up fate first. Even though everyone always wrongly attributes it to Lydia. I think Lydia was wrong in how she treated Aaliyah and her boundaries but I don’t think she came on this show hoping to meet Uche.
I agree a lot of people skipped over this. unless a lot of the conversation was edited out, he still shut it down quickly enough that I wouldn't have gone around saying he wanted to start from ground zero if I was Lydia
Uche didn’t find her attractive?? 😶😶😶 he’s trippin’
Thank you! Someone else noticed that Lydia did in fact lie about uche saying they should start over. I think everyone was quick to make uche the villain but they didn’t see the red flags from Lydia either.
Steph, can you cover the Brazilian version of Love is blind? Season 3, please! :) I’m Brazilian and It would be interesting to see your perspective on relationships in another culture. As someone that have watched the US version and the Brazilian one, I can say the couple’s dynamic are different.
I second this! I recently finished binge watching LIB Brazil, seasons 2 and 3
Love this idea!
It was an epic season! Best lib ever
It would be the same lol😂 the couple relationship advice would not be different but maybe the vibe yes
I feel like by Uche saying “is this fate?” Made her think that he initiated it
I agree. He then says he doesn’t want to, but his reason for that is that he thinks it’s not good for the experiment. That can be interpreted as “I actually want to, if it wasn’t for the experiment”. Especially if Lydia still had some feelings for him, she would want to interpret it that way.
Yeah and Lydia seems to be a bit slow with picking up other people’s hesitation because she wants it so bad. Same thing happened with her and Izzy. He needed to spell out to her that he wasn’t interested after she wasn’t picking up on any of his clues
yea same. I also feel like her tone suggests that she wasn't trying to say it was ONLY Uche that thought about going about the process as normal.
@@IceIceIfeno as a man izzy just wasnt clear enough he kept talking to ger like they are similar and every time she said theh are so alice and in tune he said yes and good
It definitely seemed like Lydia was trying to save face by making it seem like she was the one that decided not to pursue Uche in the pods. I think it was a pride thing, but also reassuring Aaliyah and Milton that she's over that situation. I don't personally think she was.
As for Uche. He said either on IG or in an interview that his words were edited when they met after the pods. They agreed to continue dating at that point.
I agree with you. I also interpreted the Uche/Lydia pod date as Lydia being the one very interested. Even though Uche said something along the lines of “maybe this is fate”, I didn’t take it as interest in Lydia. Maybe he meant it as fate to decline 🤣 lol jk I think that was just a polite thing to say with someone you’re not interested in anymore but don’t know what to say to them
I was not at all surprised Uche was the villain, I immediately knew from his cadence something was extremely off. Then the bomb went: talked well about others, recanted with vicious insults, then took it back. Manipulating others with malicious intent of ruining their images, we all saw it. He tried very hard to salvage any favorable self image but 🌚 My brother does the same thing. No diagnosis but we all know what we saw. Crocodile tears and calculated manipulation. Not at all surprised, these people are scary to be around, they will say ANYTHING to be sympathized with. Probably why Uche still reached out to Milton even thought it was clear they were not friendly at all.. damage control on his image. Made perfect sense to me why Aliyah left as she had that weirdo and Lydia both on her 🤷♀️
I am so *glad* to finally see someone talking about the actual content of what Aaliyah said, of course a lot of people do not displaying understanding of nuance online and needed a villian and a hero, but what Aaliyah was saying, even a more reasonable person would have been taken aback! Thank you for your insight as always
There should definitely be new hosts for the reunion because the cast never gets the hard hitting questions and avoid accountability.
There should definitely be new hosts period lol
Im pretty sure they actually create the show
@@EmperorDxD they did
When I was 19 I kissed somebody else and my boyfriend was emotionally devastated. I told him right away because I thought nothing of it and chalked it up to a drunken night out with a girl - he did not see it that way and he did not care what gender the person was. when I saw his face at that momen I wanted to die
I never knew I was capable of causing someone that much pain- I’d never done anything so bad that I truly didn’t even think would “count”
seeing someone you love in pure agony and knowing it was your fault is a guilt beyond all description - you have no desire to have anything good. I went on to allow people to hurt me or belittle me and looking back something in my head must have felt like I owed a karmaic debt. Like I need to go through this because of what I did to someone else.
All that to say Uch has no right to say his infidelity at any age in any way is somehow more acceptable than anyone else’s
Does anyone else think that Uche was acting like he didn’t recognize Lydia’s voice when he totally did🫠🙄 They both knew that each other would be there, 100%
I’m so excited to watch! I love the longer videos and I’ve been sharing little clips of these with my family ❤ love you
Aw I love that. Thank you!
Yes was about to say they continued to date even tho the show played it differently. Hated this season and Uche is textbook def narcissist! Milton killed it 🔥
Agree with the Narcissist!
Yea, it was giving viscous with aalyiah and a manipulative turnaround once a non-narcissist told him he was extra with her
I haven’t watched but feel both Uchi and Lydia are both two different types of narcissists.
Lydia seems to misread a lot of situations so I believe she genuinely thought Uche was serious about starting over, since he brought up “this being fate”. It seems like he only said he didn’t want to move forward because of optics (just like he didn’t say anything bad about Lydia cause he didn’t want to seem like a guy who talks crap about his ex).
I have been waitingggg on your breakdown of these two since I started watching this season!! So hard to watch
Uche to Aliyah: you're a recent cheater.
Also Uche: Cheated a few months ago
😐🤨🧐
Uche is egotistical, narcissistic, and all around comes across as being shady and a terrible person. When Lydia started telling Aliya all those things about Uche, it genuinely just seemed like RELIEF. Like, when you've been keeping this big secret and bottling it up and then finally it comes to light, you're so relieved that you just let it all out because you've had to hold it in for so long. I'm not saying it was right to tell her things she didn't want to know, but I don't think there was ulterior motive behind it, it was just relief to finally be allowed to be honest.
To me it definitely felt off - like there was an ulterior motive, consciously or subconsciously. Who on earth would feel so comfortable talking about an ex to the new gf? Totally ignoring context, body language etc. shows selfishness that she just wanted to blurt out whatever was on her mind instead of taking a second to be like Uh wait this might be uncomfortable for her. No, she only cared abt herself and that’s red flag enough.
Uche stated that he and Lydia never officially dated so there is no way he could’ve cheated, I think that he did sleep with someone else but because there wasn’t a title, he didn’t see it as cheating.
I think this was a situationship situation.
They a hundred percent were not on the same page. Uche sounds like the type of guy who mentally distinguishes between dating and exclusively dating but will not have the conversation. If Lydia was more invested, but they never had the talk, then yes-she does see it as Uche cheated on her. But from the perspective of a LAWYER, if you’re not exclusive, it’s not cheating-no matter how emotionally invested Lydia was.
Then why was he calling it breaking up and getting back together 😅
@@GopherCakeStuffexactly, he is not consistent with narrative about their dating
Honestly so happy for you for having sponsors. Go girl, get that money and do what you love!!!
I can really see how supportive you are as a therapist because you are aware on not to impose your own views and thoughts about a patient and their relationships and misuse your 'power' to make them leaning towards particular decision. I think this is so important as we all come from different backgrounds, upbringings and social systems.
Additionally i feel it is very important that you use these reality TV shows as a learning opportunity about communication and empathy within a relationship, as so many people watch these shows and get an often unrealistic idea of what a real-life relationship should look like.
I’ve been binge watching your videos and I’m mesmerised! So insightful. I don’t know if Ultimatum is on your radar, but I feel like breaking down some participants from that show could make really interesting content. I’d personally love to see that! Just an idea. Thank you so much for your work!! ❤
I've been WAITING for this!
same!
I love your videos! They help So much to understand dynamics in general. I wonder.. Has anyone from the Show ever commented on his own analysis that you did? Like getting things right, acknowledgement or hate?
Please break down Love is Blind Brazil! It would be a great opportunity to see cultural differences too. The first season has people who are 30+ years old, it would be amazing to see your analysis
Been waiting for this one!!!
What I’ve been waiting for !!
Uche in a Q & A video said he never broke up with Aliyah when they met at the restaurant. He said they kissed and agreed to date outside the pods and Aliyah verified this on a podcast episode she did with ‘the beys tv’ and both of their reasons why production manipulated that particular scene was because they were offered the opportunity to return the show and get engaged and continue the process like Zack and bliss did and they refused.
Wow! This is so frustrating. Production was really trying to control the narrative this season. Thanks for this information
Your pose/expression in the thumbnail perfectly encapsulates this whole season … oy!
About the casting call both Lydia and Uche saw. Let's assume they were kind of dating at that time. Or at least Lydia thought that and Uche made her feel that way but was not sure or willing to fully commit to their relationship. No one would ever tell the other they applied for the show. There was no reason. My husband and I watch the Show and another one where people get married just based on facts without knowing each other. We also saw the casting call for those and he asked me if I would apply for such a show. I said yes. He wouldn't. That's it. People talk about that to get an idea how the other person thinks.
And if things ended up dirty between those two why should they tell the other they applied for the show. I wouldn't. And even if they applied and knew... They would probably not know if the application process was successful for the both of them. So I don't really get all the fuss.
I think Lydia could apply with a hope that Uche would be there (based on her reaction for him in pods) but there is nothing wrong in having hope. It's not like she's the evil mastermind whi orchestrated everything 😂
@@Ola_Stawinskashe’s not but people are missing that production is. They literally orchestrated this entire thing. Uche and Lydia despite their individual faults didn’t hide they knew each other. Producers had knowledge they knew each other at the very beginning and instead of dropping one of them from the show they chose to keep both on. Worse they made them withhold that information because they were counting on that inflicting pain for any involved parties and it did. They are the evil mastermind. Lol. Yet people are ignoring them to give smoke to the contestants when arguably production is the MOST to blame for how messy this got and how unfairly Aaliyah was treated. I see why they’re currently facing MULTIPLE lawsuits.
Agreed.
Great and thorough breakdown as usual🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 A lot of things spoke to me in this video! Both to things I need to improve about myself and things that I'm doing right!
I love your eloquence. ❤ I'm over here googling words I don't know. Very educational video on so many levels. Lol. Thank you! ❤
love your channel! the editing, thumbnail, everything is on point❤❤🎉 so much work to do that. one can tell
Thank you so much!!
thank you so much for sharing your perspectives and voice ! earlier today i found you in some videos on healthline and was genuinely hoping you would make more content and thankfully found your channel! im so glad, thank you for dedicating your time, thought and effort into these videos and others.
First of all i need to qualify what I’m about to say with, i absolutely love,love,love your content!
I think you do an amazing job of breaking down things that are easy to understand and give us insight on how to even apply it to our own life. ( i had my husband listen to your point on apologizing and he thought it made sense too so we both benefited from it!) that said i want to nudge a little bit not necessarily push back but nudge on the over sharing part because as a Puerto Rican women, i think some of how Lydia acted came from her cultural upbringing. Not saying it was right but more a faux pas on her part. If i remember correctly Lydia has been in the states less than 3 years so she’s coming from a different cultural society, where some of the things she did came from her norm in culture as suppose to malice.
Now im not saying all of it was innocent but i don’t think all of it was malice either. I’ve been in Tx for over 30 years but i remember when i got here it was definitely an adjustment for me. How people spoke and responded to different things. Hence cultural shock. When i first got to Tx, people had the southern niceties thing going on and when ever i would go into a store people would say hi how are you? And i would respond but as i entered my 15th store i was asked it again and when i left the store i was so annoyed that someone asked me again that i finally asked my husband. Why the heck do people keep asking me how I’m doing?! Do i look like something is wrong with me?! Do i look sick?! And my husband was like no that’s kinda how they greet you it’s not that something is wrong with you 😂and then i got it! But it wasn’t until i was explained that that it became clear to me because in Puerto Rico as good manners you say good, morning, good afternoon, good evening as a greeting. So i can understand why you would look at it and have the opinion that you have. But i kind of try to give her the benefit of the doubt. Knowing the things that i know. I felt the need to say this because a lot of the times watching shows like this we miss that component of cultural differences. I’ve been guilty too. When i watch 90 day fiancé and shows like that, that bring people in from different cultures. Again i see bad behavior in Lydia I’m not excusing her one bit. But i don’t see her as a bad person more like someone that still has some growing and self loving to do. This is all imho. Again love what you do and i feel you’re so good at what you do. God bless.
This was both of their worst nightmares. Home girl should have never met him at the restaurant. Manipulation and ebrace the guilt is not a cup of tea I will ever sip on and show my Teens this is how you see red flags!! # hotttttmeeessss
Thank you for sensing that I needed this video today ❤
So glad!
Love the longer videos!
So interesting to hear your analysis! Thanks for sharing
41:57 i think they only didn't make this kind of party in first season (they had enough drama with Jessica 😅) but on second season there was a beach party, where i remember Shana came (she was broken uo with Kyle already), and some other people from pods too. In third season there was a party where Nancy was talking to that guy who fake cried after their break up and in fourth there was a birthday of Chelsea where also people from pods came that lady who was with Paul before, and of course the guy Jackie went for later (i forgot so many names! 😂).
They do it to stir the drama in between people who got engaged and the ones they dated in the pods.
Yes, definitely remember this from previous seasons.
I really appreciate you covering this video.
Based on Aaliyah and Lydia's friendships, I don't think Aaliyah and Uche would have gotten along even outside of the show; Aaliyah and Lydia’s bond was too strong for her to not feel betrayed by her ignorance of their past relationship.
I've been waiting for this queen!!!
I believe that Uche did cheat on Lydia. However I also don’t think that the relationship was long term or as serious for Uche as it was for Lydia. Once again, with the way Uche reacted to Aaliyah’s cheating revelation, Uche did not want to admit that he had done the same thing recently as well. He is very concerned with how he appears to others and the way people view him and strongly holds on to things that he believes will give him the moral high ground. Uche is very focused on being seen as a “good guy” & when people don’t buy into that, like Miriam, he lashes out and demeans others to make them seem like they are not as good, trustworthy or moral as him.
You know what I don’t understand- why are people acting like Lydia got on the show just for Uche… HOW is that even possible? Just because she applied doesn’t mean she automatically gets to be on the show so why is everyone acting like even IF that was her intention that’s the reason she got on the show?
I don’t think that’s actually what most viewers believe…like you said, that simply wouldn’t be possible, lol. There are lots of ppl (myself being one) who believe that Lydia found out that Uche was going to be on the show prior to it starting, and she’s never been forthcoming about that. It’s kinda creepy and deceptive😅 It’s really not that hard to know if ppl in your network are going to be on these shows. For example, a season of Married at first sight aired in the city that I’m from and went to school in (and, I’m black lol). Even before the show started filming, I found out who 2 black cast members were that I knew. People talk, lol. And we can all tell that Lydia Ig stalks and was prob checking for Uche in all the months leading to filming. I think people just don’t get a genuine, altruistic vibe from her like she loves to portray of herself, and if she were honest about things like this (and, stalking Uche’s female Ig followers’ stories, for example) it would be more believable that she just genuinely wants to be this woman who’s there for her friends🫠 And btw, to my point, I totally think Uche knew she’d be there as well, lol.
@@Veryvery987 So what was she supposed to do? Give up on a unique opportunity just because her ex was selected as well? No one in their right mind would've done it, even if she knew or suspected that.
Nothing to do with the video but your makeup is always amazing 😍💛🧡
It was pretty obvious to me that Uche didn't find Aaliyah physically attractive. That's why he dismissed her when they met in person. If she was someone he felt was attractive their conversation would've been a LOT different. Every bone in my body says he's a colorist.
you hit the nail on the head with your analysis! love your channel!
Thank you!!
Irrelevant but your makeup is so good love how it compliments your face.
Aw thank you 🥰
I thought it was just me obsessed with her makeup. So perfect.
Uche spoke out and said that the meet up scene at the dinner between him and Aaliyah was edited where he’s not in the frame when he says “it’s over”, Uche said that during the meet up they agreed to date
Aliyah also confirmed this in a podcast episode she did with ‘bey’s tv’
Ooooooooooh the one we’ve all been waiting for! Can’t wait to hear what you have to say!
I don't know if you'll read this but I was hoping maybe you could break down Single's Inferno? It's a Korean dating show (with subtitles) and the drama in it is interesting to say the least. Love your videos btw ❤❤
This is what I’ve been waiting for!!
@Steph, would you talk about the escalating behaviors that have been shown on LIB that has culminated w two lawsuits- one on SA and one on neglect from the production company?
I have been horrified w what they've shown- so I can only imagine why the two couples were cut this season (although I watched Renee's interview on Natalie and Deepti's podcast, and have read things from the legal aspect of the SA allegations).
I like all these videos before watching bc I LOVE them😂❤
I appreciate youuuu!
Anya this was so great! You really pointed out some great things and managed to humanise Uche - I can see that he was coming from a hurt place and just trying to control his narrative. As for the manipulation and gaslighting - well he is a lawyer
Babe your videos are so slay
Lydia asked Uochi, "are you going to be okay if I find someone?" And it happened! I'm sure this why Uochi got pissed. She sabotaged his relationship with Aayliah
Great assessment! You were absolutely fair👏🏾
This was the absolute worse Ulche and Lydia played mind games and was not held accountable…these shows allow to much room for toxic boarder line verbal and emotional abuse for the sake of drama and entertainment then within the sanctity of marriage. I am with everyone else this last season completely turned me off it’s been getting worse and worse
You forgot to talk about how he never told Aaliyah, he slept with Lydia just 3 months ago …. He was actually shock when he realize Lydia told Aaliyah the truth
I agree Anya! Lydia definitely had an impact on Aaliyah and Uche's relationship. Lydia was not a good friend to Aaliyah because she specifically told Aaliyah things she didnt want to know about an ex she claims she was over. I believe that Lydia had feelings for Uche and his were not as strong as hers. I do think Uche's crying about Lydia not being hurt was a cop out and his crying or getting emotional was because he knew he did some messy things in his relationship with Lydia that might jeaprodize his relationship with Aaliyah. Uche is very manipulative and will turn on someone quickly thus making him untrustworthy. I do also think that Aaliyah should have not just left but sent Uche a letter. In the end they Aaliyah and Uche wouldn't have worked anyway. For Uche love Isn’t blind.
A great video as always!❤
I had the same thoughts about that ending. Alayah didn’t have fair chance of finding someone, as others had
Can you do a video of Jp and their relationship
it did not seem to me like Uche wanted to start over with Lydia, but I think Lydia likely did think that his comment "is this a sign" was serious and not a joke, so she might have misinterpreted that? Idk
42:40 I agree with your perspective about Lydia’s effect on Aaliyah removing herself from the pods, but not to the degree Uche says. And I don’t know at which point the BBQ takes place in relation to when Aaliyah sat down to lunch with Uche. The fact that Uche refused to ever validate any of Aaliyah’s feelings on what she was experiencing with Lydia in the pods makes me place higher blame on his inability to care for Aaliyah’s perspective and feelings. He blamed Lydia for ruining his chances at a relationship with Aaliyah but I believe the fact that she still considered (and entered into) a relationship with Uche after leaving the pods and being away from Lydia puts the ball more in his court. Aaliyah disclosed that she got the harsh, confrontational side of Uche during their period of dating more than the version of him she became attracted to in the pods. Uche very much likes to bend the narrative using women as his scapegoat.
Chances the producers knew about Uche and Lydia's past? Just to start drama, they know is inevitable? If so, that's sick and shows the intention of LIB.
The show would be sooo much better if you were the host of love is blind
So so true!
Every time you say *spoiler alert* I'm like *no ma'am, you're late* 😂😂 BUT I really appreciate your perspective 💯❤❤
I was very confused why Uche thought it was somehow important that - months before the show - Lydia was following his friends, etc.
If it was after the show then maybe it would have some bearing.
Who cares if she took time to get over him before the show even began?
Clearly, only Uche cares.
Love your content
I think the producers are to blame for all of this unfolding
I know this isn’t related to this video, but I would love to see a breakdown of the impact ATL episode when Ari sat down with her father. Love your videos btw! 💕
Saying Lydia is the direct influence for Uche and Aaliyah to breakup is just crazy. Adults have full faculty to make decisions on their own. All Aaliyah had to do was to let go of what Lydia said. Further those two did date and Uche told Izzy that he isn’t attracted to her.
As much as I sympathize with Aaliyah, she should have stayed at the exp if she thought Uche was worth her time. She clearly felt both are shady and that’s why she left. And seeing what we saw it was a good call
Lydia giving her more info that Uche initially did was a good call. Uche dug into the info she gave him but Aliyah wasn't willing to do the same when it came to his relationship history. She'd just accept things so passively.
Yes Aaliyah did make the decision, but she made it based on what was going on, so of course tmwhat Lydia was telling her had an influence on her decision. Its hard to just "let go" of this kind of information when you get something opposite for her and from him and there is no way to confirm what is true.
@@Ola_Stawinska Wait what? She told her about car color etc.. How is that opposite information?
@@snailmailmagic1133 she told her that they slept together three months before, and Uche told her that they dated for two weeks like two years before (that's what she said in some interview, ehat Uche said i think was not aired).
@@Ola_Stawinska Basically Uche hid information which is true. How is that Lydia's fault. If anything she was honest about it thinking Uche would be a decent human to share this.