Freddie is such a beautiful person, inside and out, and he definitely deserves someone who appreciates him and will stick by him! He was one of my favorites this season!
As much as I love the more dramatic/funny recaps of these reality shows… your intelligent analysis of relationships in these shows is just so great, I learn so much from your videos
I thought it was weird that he was shopping with her and then she was being very snappy but later on when he said that shopping in the future, he's just going to her let her shop and he's just going to stand back and sit down and she was upset. Freddie is shopping with her then and she hates it and probably doesn't want to get snapped at in the future. I wish he would have responded like, well I'm shopping with you now and you don't seem to like it.
Aside from the weird stuff Freddie did later, I felt like she was being weird that day. To not want a guy who jokes and has fun with you is bizarre to me. She even said, I feel like his friend. To me, that’s what a marriage is, a friendship. Without a little playful humor I wouldn’t even be interested in the guy. But that’s just my opinion
Being adopted myself, I was happy to see this subject addressed in the show. I also know that my adoption contributed to my trauma of abandonment (and working on it). But I was quickly frustrated to see Catherine use the subject of adoption for every issue in her life and in their relationship.
I don’t know what your adoptive parents were like, but I have friends looking into adopting and they’re so excited. They already see the child they’ll get (they only just started the process) as a miracle that God gave them through someone else since they can’t conceive. I know it doesn’t take away your trauma, and I’m not trying to do that, but you were chosen to be loved and cherished by a family that wanted a child 💜 (again, I don’t know that for sure, but that’s been the cases for most of the adopted people I know and my friends now adopting)
@@kendallpaige4160this feel so tone deaf. I'm pretty sure the original commenter and any adoptees KNOW they are loved by their (adopted) parents, doesn't change the fact that you will question why your biological ones did not though. It's inevitable and the commenter expressed that
@@ogechianusi6809 As someone who wasn’t raised by her own biological parents, it was always nice to have someone help me zoom out sometimes. One well intentioned comment on a post isn’t hurting, or even changing, anything. Your response feels so mean spirited. And I know, I know, this is the internet, what else do I expect? I’m sorry you have so much anger. I hope you can eventually put your energy to better use.
@@kendallpaige4160 if you think this comment is mean spirited that's your problem. I gave my output and if you interpreted it wrong you can just say so don't try and make this something it isn't
I felt like Catherine was very hurtful and unkind but I know it’s because she didn’t feel like she deserved him. It’s really sad but hurt people hurt people.
Lol. I dont think so. She just doesnt like Freddie enough. I dont think Cat has that much depth to think someone is above her. She contantly put him down, I cringed the most when She laughed at his job infront of her friends knowing full well He does really well for himself even can support his other family members
Freddie is a very handsome man. But for many women thats not enough. Unlike men we actually prefer less atractive 😂 but with all the right characteristics that match us. He will find his match❤. Catherine will find her karma.
For me, Cat is a very common type of person that I run into. She’s a mean girl because she’s got a very specific childhood wound, and doesn’t know how to make it better but feels like a relationship will do it and so gets into relationship but it just isn’t enough and so she’s bewildered and frustrated why she still isn’t happy. And this rubs off on other people too, so they see her as a mean girl but maybe a more subtle way not an out and out cruel way. I think therapy would really help her dig into herself if she could give it a shot individually. But to be fair to her, I also don’t think we got enough of time as audience to know Freddie as much as we did with Cat just because she was the more obvious to focus on with her reactions. Freddie otoh, he had me at the exact same moment as you, with that exact same statement about his career! I was very touched by the way he expressed that no, his work is not creepy because that is someone’s loved one he’s taking care of…omg, I almost cried by the power of simple love in that statement. I’ve lost people and no, their remains were not creepy to me. So yes, he came across as pretty special guy from early on imo. He also had a strong connection with his siblings, and when he took Cat to meet them it was obvious to me his sister was an important factor in his decision making process. The fact that Cat, though polite and sweet, kept a distance from them and didn’t seem to connect easily or quickly with them also stood out to me as a probable cause for concern to Freddie. He was very clear his sister’s opinion was important if she saw problems and she did. Overall I think they just didn’t match well, and it’s good they did not marry.
She probably kept a distance from his family, because she she knew she had to isolate him from them to stand any chance of ensnaring him. My ex was a similar mean girl and isolated me from my family
For me personally ,life has always been hard, and my childhood wasn't great for many reasons! But I chose to be a happy and grateful person! Just because she was adopted, doesn't give her the right to be mean to other people! She should love ❤️ and appreciate the fact that God had plan B for her and he made sure she was adopted! There is something that feels off about Freddie to me! He's incredibly different!
Catherine at the bar scene flirting with Sam right in front of Freddie and everyone- that actually made me physically recoil when I first watched it. I felt hurt FOR Freddie. I don’t understand why she repeatedly knowingly hurt someone she’s supposed to care for, and didn’t seem to apologize for it.
I feel like that was purposefully done too. She "needed" Freddie to have a taste of what it felt like being betrayed by someone you love, she wanted to make him feel just a fraction of what she probably has felt while being cheated on in the past. Which is why i think, she repeated Sam looking like her ex soooo many times. Afterwards she just covered it with her being "very flirty"
Worst moment of Cat putting down Freddie was when She laughed at his job infront of her loser copycat of shallow friends.. and Freddie kept saying why You laughed at me why.. Knowing full well Freddie does really well for himself if not the most established Man on the show, owning a house, supporting his family members, while She still lives at home.
@@no.6377 yeah I found her friends very thoughtful and considerate of both Cat and Freddie. Both her adopted parents and the two friends were so thoughtful and loving toward her. She probably surrounds herself with validating guys and surface level friends who are only accommodating of her.
excuse you, but her friends were actually very respectful and seem to be great persons. I think that Freddie would´ve matched 100% with one of those two instead of Cat.
I love the distinction you make between insight and judgement because I think non-therapists tend to lump those together as kind of connected. But you’re right, she had a lot of insight into why she was the way that she was, but she seemed to be uninterested in self improvement and was unable to control her actions towards others. I think Freddie was just so ready for this experiment (it seemed like his family was the only one fully aware of what he was doing before the experiment began) and Cat just wasn’t really ready for any of it. I feel for her in some ways, but I hate how she treated so many people on the show.
I don’t know the casting process for Catherine (as some people are approached via social media) but Freddie applied for the show himself and I think that was reflected in what we saw of him on the show. He was really ready and wanting to be there “for the right reasons” as we say lol.
i know she's got issues but i thought she was awful to him. I'm glad he said no to her because he deserved much better. you could see the light go out of him on the trip to Greece at a certain point. His family noticed it too. I hope she gets therapy, and I hope he finds someone that's good for him. He seemed like a really nice and genuine guy
Catherine was so unkind and unpleasant to Freddie. It was always so hard to see him hang his head in confusion everytime she'd snap at him completely unwarrantedly. The scene with her friends was so bizarre... I truly am glad he knew he deserved better. I frankly think even Cat knew he deserved better from day one, and so she was simply projecting and preempting his eventual rejection. Honestly, the people that come into these experiments should undergo closer psychological screenings.
I'm surprised they still haven't introduced compulsory couple's therapy for them during their real-world time together. It doesn't make sense to me that they wouldn't think it necessary to do that for people who need to decide on marriage within weeks of meeting.
@@thecavalieryouth LIB is purely for entertainment of the masses. I won’t say they don’t care about giving couples therapy but it’s definitely not top priority! They should definitely make it mandatory since marriage is such an important decision.
I feel like Catherine was only able to be a little vulnerable or emotionally intimate with either of her connections. Ollie picked up on it, while Freddie did not until they were out of the pods and he started to pull back. I think the ‘original sin’ of Catherine is her difficulty coming to terms with her sense of self and her adoption. Girl has a lot of work to do before she’s ready for marriage.
The problem is thar Cat is obviously not interested in therapeutical work or real insight in her problems. She only uses her adoption as an excuse for her horrible behaviour.
Cat did go deeper with Freddie in the pods. They had that, but she didn’t with Ollie. When the walls of the pod were gone, her walls went up and she was no longer able to be vulnerable with Freddie.
I didn't realize how much Catherine was trying to save face by demanding Ollie let people know. I think it's cause I didn't like Ollie when they had that confrontation. But I realize it was all pride with her.
I right away didn't like how she handled that entire Ollie situation. She was just too desperate to make sure everyone knew she wasn't dumped, even in the interview after she feels the need to say something like," I'm so glad I decided to end things with Ollie". Like girl,we know what you're doing😂😂 and insisting that she was definitely better off with Freddie. Like Freddie said, it was a pride thing with Ollie. As someone who's also hyper sensitive to rejection, I can definitely understand the desire to avoid it at all costs. But oh boy, seeing it from an outside POV makes the motives so transparent 😅😅
One of the things that has baffled me throughout the LIB series in general, and especially this first UK outing, is the poor financial literacy of so many of the cast members. The whole prenup conversation, firstly that not everyone on LIB is having that talk astounds me as marrying in 6 weeks without that agreement seems particularly foolhardy on top of already risky proposition, but also because a prenup is a great way for both parties to outline their needs and expectations. Freddie’s desire to protect the assets he built for his family (we don’t know from the show but many funeral homes are family businesses) and particularly to ensure the wellbeing of his brother who needs extra care is truly admirable and honest/upfront. That is a man who will also be very thoughtful about the care of his future children AND his spouse. A mature, financially literate person could meet him in the middle with a transparent negotiation and say something like, “I love that family is so important to you and you want to honour your obligations, I know that in time you’ll feel the same way about the family we will grow together. To that point, while I completely agree that for the next while it makes sense that your assets still go to your brother/sister or a trust if you passed unexpectedly young, I think you could see that if we were married for a long time - say, 25 years, and have a couple of kids, that those same provisions would also be unfair to me as your longterm spouse and your kids, who may still be minors or may have their own special needs. So can we talk about what it’ll look like longer term? Can you imagine my having to leave our home of decades because it wasn’t left to me? That extreme also seems unfair, while I also acknowledge the other extreme: that if I were your wife of only 6 months and you fell off a cliff it does also seem unfair for me to get everything and your family being cut off. Are there set assets like your home or a certain amount that you want to remain yours and leave to family and anything accrued together in our marriage over time is shared? How will we build wealth over time and our own family within this framework? Could we invest in a property that is ours only together or find a way to safeguard our family home like granting me living rights even if it doesn’t go to me outright?” To just eschew a prenup altogether under LIB circumstances is a total red flag to me and further emphasizes a blatant asymmetry in Freddie & Catherine’s relationship - the reason he has a house to stay in and eat beans on toast in is because he was financially prudent and has accrued assets. Catherine still lives with her parents and clearly doesn’t save much, if any, which is why she can go out so much. In a perfect world, Catherine could learn and benefit from Freddie’s fiscal responsibility and Freddie could find some more enjoyment in life from Cat’s joie de vivre (like taking vacations, etc.) but instead the very qualities that were attractive in the beginning as oppositional forces became sticking points. Catherine wants a stable, financially sound husband but then can’t accept Freddie making stable, financially sound choices (whether staying in and watching a movie snd eating beans instead of partying, or asking for a prenup). Similarly, Freddie seems to enjoy that Cat likes experiences and finer things in some ways, but sends her mixed messages (e.g. calling her bougie and then getting her expensive earrings) about her preferences. By getting her those earrings, he kinda reinforced his own concern that she may in part be in this for access to his assets/pocketbook as it did sort of read like “you don’t get me but you do get a consolation prize” - which I agree does seem like a parting gift and a nice gesture but it also solidifies his underlying fear that she wants creature comforts and high life but might not be in it for him/love. That’s another big reason prenups can be helpful, if there is wealth discrepancy it’s a hood way to see if your partner is willing to sign away those potential benefits for the relationship, that’s a good indicator that it’s a love match as opposed to a material match. Prenups can have stipulations (e.g. after X period of time assets become joint) and can be renegotiated later as the marriage solidifies. I was really sad for these two as they had so many surface-level things going for them - they look great together and have similar interests/connections to down syndrome, etc. But they are fundamentally at very different life stages and levels of maturity. Catherine seems like she is still deeply troubled and has a lot of healing and emotional work to do, but I do think shrouded under a lot of poor behaviour is a fundamentally good person trying to find their way. Freddie seems mature and pretty ready for a serious commitment, kids, etc. I wish they could’ve closed the gap together but hopefully they’ll both find great partners apart and enjoy the love they both deserve. My heart does ache for Catherine’s unresolved attachment trauma and I do hope she can overcome it with time.
I was a big fan of Freddie on the show. The prenup discussion made perfect sense to me. In his job, he works with families of all kinds and different dilemmas that may show the issues of how a family member’s finances are handled when it comes to their passing and funeral arrangements. I bet he’s seen a lot on that front. Like many, he preferred to have a direct family member in charge and not someone he’s known for 4 weeks handle their finances.
I believe Cathrine did everything to sabotage the relationship. I think Freddie was really scary to her because he was so solid. She wanted to find the problem when there wasn’t one and I bet she’s so used to shitty men and it’s very scary meeting someone who is treats you like a partner should. There can be a lot of paranoia around that.
You’ve worded this perfectly 😢 I relate so much to this! When you’ve been so used to chaos, normalcy paradoxically becomes a threat and messes with your nervous system. I’m trying really hard to stop self-sabotaging. Your comment made me feel seen ❤
@@soulsearcher7077 It felt like she just needed "something". I agree, it is a red flag. But it says a lot that he admitted it. I get the feeling that Catherine has also cheated and would. But I don't think she would ever admit that.
YES STEPH!!!! I have bpd so how you described fear of rejection/abandonment is something I noticed with catherine straight away. It's so much easier from my own experience to cut someone off as soon as u feel threatened rather than to hear the rejection. Love that u touched on this
I found it kind of telling that Cat went "he's acting like I go to Noma every week" and Freddy saying "I don't know what that is" Because it demonstrated that she is more "bougie" than he is
Was looking forward to your analysis on these two! 🙌🏾 100% agree, Catherine definitely wasn't emotionally mature or healed enough to even THINK about marriage, let alone marriage via the LIB process. I hope Freddie is OK and in good spirits after all that occurred. Love the video, Dr. Steph! 😊
A lot of the participants on this show are not ready for marriage at all, its crazy how unprepared mentally, emotionally, financially these people are - on a show about getting married immediately!! Also why dont they provide the couples with premarital counseling? This should be a relationship show and not a marriage show.
About the earrings, I didn't catch it when I initially watched, but a couple different recaps/commentaries I watched mentioned they were pretty sure the earrings were actually a brand deal with Netflix because of the focus on them and the way they were displayed, so I personally think Freddie might have been alluding to pressure from production when he was talking about it being "frowned on" to not to get her the earrings. Just my opinion, but that explanation does make a lot more sense to me. 🤷♀️
@@StephAnya For sure! I also know that for the reunion they filmed significantly longer than what was released (apparently the Sabrina/Steven conversation alone took at least 30 mins during filming), so he might have even explained in more detail and they just cut that part out.
Hi there @StephAnya,LMFT may I please ask a question? You didn’t touch in the family dynamics in this breakdown, and I was keen to hear your take on Catherine’s adoptive parents. I remember they both gave Freddie some really good advice about dealing with Catherine and marraige in general. Although I agree with and respect Freddie’s decision not to move forward. However, in Catherine’s parents interactions with Freddie, I truly felt that they were really good people with good intentions and cared for their children. They adopted Catherine and they seemed great. So my question is, what could they have done in Catherine’s upbringing to help here develop a secure attachment and good self-esteem? Or would her being adopted always have affected her that way? I’m wondering because if I would like to adopt one day, what can I do to help build that self-confidence in my child and make them feel accepted instead of rejected? Thank you so much for your content, truly love and appreciate it 🤗🤗💕
Anyone got an answer to this question? I have trouble finding a partner, but I desperately want to build a family. Adoption is the most plausible option, but I want to make sure they will always feel safe, loved and confident to take on the world.
I absolutely love this take, Catherine set Freddie up for failure with every question or test she had for him. She was always going to find a fault in his answers and behavior to justify or excuse her actions and her perpetual distrust or just overall unsatisfied by him. I also found it telling that she was very unamused and unimpressed with Freddie's career or his work ethic/how he took pride in his job and his reasoning behind it (plus finding out he always had he brother in mind when thinking about his future and the whole pre-nup convo) UNTIL she saw his house🤔🤔😳 and realized he wasn't some scrub with a pretty face. He was very serious and dedicated to his family.
When I watched the show, whenever Cat's friends were on the screen, I couldn't help but cackle. It was giving, "girl, we are on your side because we're friends... but this 100% isn't working out."😂
I dated a man I felt was out of my league, he was smarter had a better family dynamic, made more money etc. Though I did the opposite and tried to be a perfect as possible so he wouldn’t find a reason to leave me. It wasn’t authentically me, obviously. I was very young so I don’t beat myself up about it, but it’s so crazy when you sit back and think about it.
I really love 4:57 because I adore your content and I'm autistic! moments and reminders like this seem obvious for others, but for me they are not😅 really appreciate it!!!!!
When Catherine started flirting with Sam it immediately gave away her need for safety to feel desired especially if she felt insecure in her relationship with Freddie
This is why you’re the GOAT Steph Anya! I picked up on this dynamic with Cat as well but you put it into words perfectly. I was happy to see at the reunion that the two of them looked back at the experience positively. I think it’s something the’ll grow from individually.
To me Catherine is one of those people (female or male) whose partner is more attractive than them, when they are used to be the more attractive one. This leads to insecurity and so they try to knock their partner down a few pegs so they don’t feel inadequate. I’ve seen it time and again.
The out of the pods podcast suggested that the gift of the earrings was a producer idea, and what Freddie said at the reunion kind of confirmed that for me. He seemed like he was trying to make an excuse for being made to do it by the producers, without saying that’s what happened. When I watched it I did think it was misleading and gave Catherine the wrong idea, which seemed out of character for Freddie
I think the reason why Cat was very sure of her wanting to move forward the day of the wedding was because it ultimately confirmed her initial feeling and auto sabotage during the show: she was yet and again being rejected. I think deep down she knew there would be a good chance of him saying no after all the conversations with Freddie. Although very hurtful for her to relive that situation, it is after all, known territory, so there is a sense of “controlled situation”. Kind of like a big “I told you this would happen”.
Cat didn’t even want to be his friend, let alone his wife. I hope she starts therapy because as an adoptee with the same origin (young baby adopted by two parents) that’s something you have to deal with. Especially to be in a fruitful relationship. Also of course you should get a prenup! That feels like common sense when marrying someone after knowing them a month 😂
I was so excited to watch this, if not more than the actual show lol I love your takes and insight. It allows us to have perspective not only on relationships dynamics but also insight on things we need to work on ourselves. ❤
I feel like after the information thay Freddie cheated in the past Cath became super passive aggresive, she was rude, taking everythint seriously and testing him as if she preffered to self - saborage the relationship due to fear that he might cheat on her as well. Also a bit shocked that they didnt discuss this issue in pods since it seems like its her biggest trauma
Great analysis. I am glad you pointed out some of what we were thinking. It was obvious she sabotaged the relationship as it didn't make sense why she would hurt such a nice man, ready for marriage. But you broke it down, now it all makes sense. As nice as Freddie is at least he no fool and knew she was ultimately not right for him and was grounded throughout the whole process.I hope he eventually meets someone a lot more suited. What a beautiful person and soul ❤.
I hate that I missed the live, but #ReplayGang. Great insight as always. Cat's self sabotaging was hard to watch, as she dragged Freddie down with her. He looked so defeated with her, and I'm glad he chose to end things. It would have been horrible for them to remain together.
I really appreciate you sharing your interpretations, especially when you explain certain terms or conditions. I know you’re just sharing your thoughts as a therapist but I’m learning a lot too!
Love your perspective on Catherine & Freddie self sabotage some times you feel or sense a person pulling away instead of trying to work things out you bail
I love these videos! I have been watching all your love is blind videos. They are so insightful and interesting. Thank you for sharing and teaching me so much.❤
Love your insights as always!! Would love to see your analysis of the other couples in LIB UK! Tom and Maria, as well as Nicole and Beniah would be interesting!
If I remember correctly, Cat does say “He’s bougie” when she first saw his apartment, and she said it as a positive thing. So I think she used that word Also I learned from -out of the pods- podcast, in the Sabrina episode, that they weren’t given Prenups, so maybe the big deal was about that, we just don’t know because of how much editing there is
I really love your channel and I’m so happy with how clearly you explain these dynamics! Can you make more videos ? Especially on emotionally avoidant types ?
I'll be honest I always thought her laughing when he was saying nice things because she didn't know how to accept such nice words. Like especially with her history being cheated on it could be very difficult for her to accept compliments I for one always laugh when people compliment me and I don't even mean to
I really like Freddie so much. I mean I would totally be like "oh my god, he looks too good to be true", so I understand her insecurity about it, but the way she behaved was so awful. i am pretty sure she was the mean girl at highschool. He is such a nice person, family oriented and the way he speaks about his job. I am sure he will find someone really great.
I find it very interesting how Cathrine tells her story. Yes, she was put into the foster care system, but she was also adopted by a loving couple. Of course she's allowed to feel upset about not being raised by her biological parents, but I think it would bring her a lot of healing to recognized the positive aspects of her adoption more. I also REALLY want to know if she's met her biological mom. Cathrine often uses the word "abandoned," and I wonder if she's learned some undeniable proof of that, or if that's just the narrative her pain has created.
It would be great if cast members watched your videos! Yeah, they’ll know editing played a role in how they came across but since your analysis is based on things they actually did say and do, it could be really useful to watch your videos and learn. I really hope your videos have reached their radar and have some of them considering your insight as helpful in their lives 🤞🏾🤞🏾
i've been waiting for this!!! they were such a damn mess. from the moment she said once a cheater always a cheater their fate was sealed. felt bad for both of them and even though i got spoiled shortly before the wedding ep i still wept for them both and i usually don't get that emotional for reality tv. i had to pause and stop because of how sad i was.
Girlfriend! Your explanation of Catherine's Self-Sabotage......😳😳🤯🤯 That poor girl. She definitely wanted Ollie, and said she didn't know what she would do if he didn't choose her. That's why she needed validation in Greece and needed to know from HIM what he thought about her after seeing her. Sooooo complicated the way the mind works.
Yes everyone usually has a bit of bias yet the way that you curate your videos reflect how intentional you are to look at dynamics objectively and based on observational facts. I really appreciate that, because so many others are just filled with opinions. The contentment part was very eye opening for me! 🔥
I felt like Catherine was very unkind to him throughout the process, her lack of acceptance for who he is while simultaneously expecting him to be accepting of her because she s adopted made my blood boil. Yes, disorganised attachement is hard to deal with, speaking from experience, but she lacked accountability and maturity. Her adoption seemed to be her jail out of free card. Also she never really spoke about his character or personality. Before the wedding and even in her vows, it was all about either superficialities or the way he treats her. It was about what he can provide for her, not who he is. She really rubbed me the wrong way because the whole situation just seemed very unjust
Prenuptials should be a requirement by the production team. It is the responsible thing in these flash connections. It would also remove that as a concern that may affect emotion and decisions.
Everything you’re saying is what I saw too, only I thought Cat’s intentions were less pure, like she idealized Freddie and then once he was so pure she as bored by it
Thank you, ma'am. Cat beat Ollie to the punch because she couldn't bear to have that man reject her first. Because? She feels superior to Demi and her brain can't handle any other scenario.
Bingo! Cat switched on time to avoid rejection and a nasty person. The reunion let her slide big time and she was not going to take accountability. Glad Freddie dodged being her cash cow.
I feel like she was a complete see you next Tuesday. And her friends were just as blonde and immature as she was. He was genuinely such a kind person. She did not deserve him at all. He’s way out of her league. Hope shes found someone fresh out of high school, someone more on her level!
I want LIB to hire you as the therapist for the couples. Would be great to have you work with them throughout before the wedding. I think the couple picks and marriage rates would be higher.
I was so happy to see your take on them! I liked Freddy so much but wondered if I was missing something. I’ve been walking around for weeks hearing “Freddy” in my head, in Catherine’s accent 😂
Thank you! The situation with Ollie was a huge flag for me. Freddie was very mature about it but deep down I felt it concerned him as well. Freddie was a nice guy and she wasn’t comfortable. Or more so maybe she knew she wasn’t ready.
This was so big for me Steph because I could see a lot of myself in Catherine.. like down to our fucking looks (im not saying I look like her, but we have similar complexions/aesthetics/etc.) I need a good therapist because I've never heard it put quite the way you did @10:58 . I'm the self sabotage queen. Always have to make sure I have the upper hand.
This couple kind of showed that love isn't blind in the negative for me? As long as the love wasn't physical and just something theoretical, Catherine had nothing to feel inferior for. The weird things were obviously still there but most people can be a little condescending, mean or petty at times. But she actually saw what he looks like and that everyone can see just how attractive he is, her issues came in in full force. It is a little sad because at the core this could have been a good match. However, until she works these things out, they will always come in her way.
Such good take on this dynamic. I can see myself in Catherine in past relationships and sometimes my disorganised attachment (now much more secure) can still take the lead in certain situations (romantic or not). Would be good for her to watch this video ✨
Freddie is such a beautiful person, inside and out, and he definitely deserves someone who appreciates him and will stick by him! He was one of my favorites this season!
Same!
He was/is such a great guy across the board.
@@steffnic13he was/is a cheater ?
Agree ❤
As much as I love the more dramatic/funny recaps of these reality shows… your intelligent analysis of relationships in these shows is just so great, I learn so much from your videos
The day they went shopping was soooo awkward to watch omg
I thought it was weird that he was shopping with her and then she was being very snappy but later on when he said that shopping in the future, he's just going to her let her shop and he's just going to stand back and sit down and she was upset. Freddie is shopping with her then and she hates it and probably doesn't want to get snapped at in the future. I wish he would have responded like, well I'm shopping with you now and you don't seem to like it.
💯
Aside from the weird stuff Freddie did later, I felt like she was being weird that day. To not want a guy who jokes and has fun with you is bizarre to me. She even said, I feel like his friend. To me, that’s what a marriage is, a friendship. Without a little playful humor I wouldn’t even be interested in the guy. But that’s just my opinion
Most men do not like shopping, including my man. They have to endure the whole time. It is suggested that women should go shopping with their besties.
Being adopted myself, I was happy to see this subject addressed in the show. I also know that my adoption contributed to my trauma of abandonment (and working on it). But I was quickly frustrated to see Catherine use the subject of adoption for every issue in her life and in their relationship.
I don’t know what your adoptive parents were like, but I have friends looking into adopting and they’re so excited. They already see the child they’ll get (they only just started the process) as a miracle that God gave them through someone else since they can’t conceive. I know it doesn’t take away your trauma, and I’m not trying to do that, but you were chosen to be loved and cherished by a family that wanted a child 💜 (again, I don’t know that for sure, but that’s been the cases for most of the adopted people I know and my friends now adopting)
@@kendallpaige4160this feel so tone deaf. I'm pretty sure the original commenter and any adoptees KNOW they are loved by their (adopted) parents, doesn't change the fact that you will question why your biological ones did not though. It's inevitable and the commenter expressed that
@@ogechianusi6809 As someone who wasn’t raised by her own biological parents, it was always nice to have someone help me zoom out sometimes. One well intentioned comment on a post isn’t hurting, or even changing, anything. Your response feels so mean spirited. And I know, I know, this is the internet, what else do I expect? I’m sorry you have so much anger. I hope you can eventually put your energy to better use.
@@kendallpaige4160 if you think this comment is mean spirited that's your problem. I gave my output and if you interpreted it wrong you can just say so don't try and make this something it isn't
Get over it. I was adopted too. Read Plomin and you’ll understand that you’d have turned into this person regardless of your early circumstances
I felt like Catherine was very hurtful and unkind but I know it’s because she didn’t feel like she deserved him. It’s really sad but hurt people hurt people.
I agree
Lol. I dont think so. She just doesnt like Freddie enough.
I dont think Cat has that much depth to think someone is above her.
She contantly put him down, I cringed the most when She laughed at his job infront of her friends knowing full well He does really well for himself even can support his other family members
@@shabrinaz9877disagree, she puts up a front but you can see that at her core she feels unworthy, and it comes from her adoption
Freddie is a very handsome man. But for many women thats not enough. Unlike men we actually prefer less atractive 😂 but with all the right characteristics that match us. He will find his match❤. Catherine will find her karma.
That does not justify her behaviour.
For me, Cat is a very common type of person that I run into. She’s a mean girl because she’s got a very specific childhood wound, and doesn’t know how to make it better but feels like a relationship will do it and so gets into relationship but it just isn’t enough and so she’s bewildered and frustrated why she still isn’t happy. And this rubs off on other people too, so they see her as a mean girl but maybe a more subtle way not an out and out cruel way. I think therapy would really help her dig into herself if she could give it a shot individually. But to be fair to her, I also don’t think we got enough of time as audience to know Freddie as much as we did with Cat just because she was the more obvious to focus on with her reactions.
Freddie otoh, he had me at the exact same moment as you, with that exact same statement about his career! I was very touched by the way he expressed that no, his work is not creepy because that is someone’s loved one he’s taking care of…omg, I almost cried by the power of simple love in that statement. I’ve lost people and no, their remains were not creepy to me. So yes, he came across as pretty special guy from early on imo. He also had a strong connection with his siblings, and when he took Cat to meet them it was obvious to me his sister was an important factor in his decision making process. The fact that Cat, though polite and sweet, kept a distance from them and didn’t seem to connect easily or quickly with them also stood out to me as a probable cause for concern to Freddie. He was very clear his sister’s opinion was important if she saw problems and she did.
Overall I think they just didn’t match well, and it’s good they did not marry.
She probably kept a distance from his family, because she she knew she had to isolate him from them to stand any chance of ensnaring him. My ex was a similar mean girl and isolated me from my family
For me personally ,life has always been hard, and my childhood wasn't great for many reasons!
But I chose to be a happy and grateful person! Just because she was adopted, doesn't give her the right to be mean to other people!
She should love ❤️ and appreciate the fact that God had plan B for her and he made sure she was adopted!
There is something that feels off about Freddie to me!
He's incredibly different!
Catherine at the bar scene flirting with Sam right in front of Freddie and everyone- that actually made me physically recoil when I first watched it. I felt hurt FOR Freddie. I don’t understand why she repeatedly knowingly hurt someone she’s supposed to care for, and didn’t seem to apologize for it.
I feel like that was purposefully done too. She "needed" Freddie to have a taste of what it felt like being betrayed by someone you love, she wanted to make him feel just a fraction of what she probably has felt while being cheated on in the past. Which is why i think, she repeated Sam looking like her ex soooo many times. Afterwards she just covered it with her being "very flirty"
Worst moment of Cat putting down Freddie was when She laughed at his job infront of her loser copycat of shallow friends..
and Freddie kept saying why You laughed at me why..
Knowing full well Freddie does really well for himself if not the most established Man on the show, owning a house, supporting his family members, while She still lives at home.
yea, this was actually pretty sad to watch. Freddie just seems so pure hearted
I don't think her friends are that bad? Why the hate for them, too?😅
@@no.6377 yeah I found her friends very thoughtful and considerate of both Cat and Freddie. Both her adopted parents and the two friends were so thoughtful and loving toward her. She probably surrounds herself with validating guys and surface level friends who are only accommodating of her.
excuse you, but her friends were actually very respectful and seem to be great persons. I think that Freddie would´ve matched 100% with one of those two instead of Cat.
I love the distinction you make between insight and judgement because I think non-therapists tend to lump those together as kind of connected. But you’re right, she had a lot of insight into why she was the way that she was, but she seemed to be uninterested in self improvement and was unable to control her actions towards others. I think Freddie was just so ready for this experiment (it seemed like his family was the only one fully aware of what he was doing before the experiment began) and Cat just wasn’t really ready for any of it. I feel for her in some ways, but I hate how she treated so many people on the show.
I don’t know the casting process for Catherine (as some people are approached via social media) but Freddie applied for the show himself and I think that was reflected in what we saw of him on the show. He was really ready and wanting to be there “for the right reasons” as we say lol.
i know she's got issues but i thought she was awful to him. I'm glad he said no to her because he deserved much better. you could see the light go out of him on the trip to Greece at a certain point. His family noticed it too. I hope she gets therapy, and I hope he finds someone that's good for him. He seemed like a really nice and genuine guy
Well said. You can have trauma, but that doesn't validate hurting others as well. I was celebrating when Freddie said no lol.
Catherine was so unkind and unpleasant to Freddie. It was always so hard to see him hang his head in confusion everytime she'd snap at him completely unwarrantedly. The scene with her friends was so bizarre... I truly am glad he knew he deserved better. I frankly think even Cat knew he deserved better from day one, and so she was simply projecting and preempting his eventual rejection. Honestly, the people that come into these experiments should undergo closer psychological screenings.
8 1:59
I'm surprised they still haven't introduced compulsory couple's therapy for them during their real-world time together. It doesn't make sense to me that they wouldn't think it necessary to do that for people who need to decide on marriage within weeks of meeting.
@@thecavalieryouth LIB is purely for entertainment of the masses. I won’t say they don’t care about giving couples therapy but it’s definitely not top priority! They should definitely make it mandatory since marriage is such an important decision.
I feel like Catherine was only able to be a little vulnerable or emotionally intimate with either of her connections. Ollie picked up on it, while Freddie did not until they were out of the pods and he started to pull back. I think the ‘original sin’ of Catherine is her difficulty coming to terms with her sense of self and her adoption. Girl has a lot of work to do before she’s ready for marriage.
agree, Ollie mentioned that a couple of times about how their relationship was more surface level. Girl definitely has a lot of healing to do.
The problem is thar Cat is obviously not interested in therapeutical work or real insight in her problems. She only uses her adoption as an excuse for her horrible behaviour.
Cat did go deeper with Freddie in the pods. They had that, but she didn’t with Ollie. When the walls of the pod were gone, her walls went up and she was no longer able to be vulnerable with Freddie.
I didn't realize how much Catherine was trying to save face by demanding Ollie let people know. I think it's cause I didn't like Ollie when they had that confrontation. But I realize it was all pride with her.
I right away didn't like how she handled that entire Ollie situation. She was just too desperate to make sure everyone knew she wasn't dumped, even in the interview after she feels the need to say something like," I'm so glad I decided to end things with Ollie". Like girl,we know what you're doing😂😂 and insisting that she was definitely better off with Freddie. Like Freddie said, it was a pride thing with Ollie. As someone who's also hyper sensitive to rejection, I can definitely understand the desire to avoid it at all costs. But oh boy, seeing it from an outside POV makes the motives so transparent 😅😅
Welcome back! Congrats to you and your boo again 👏🏾 So excited to get to these❤
Aw, thanks so much!!
Thank you so much!
@@NDOvert yall are so welcome! 👏🏾👏🏾💕
One of the things that has baffled me throughout the LIB series in general, and especially this first UK outing, is the poor financial literacy of so many of the cast members. The whole prenup conversation, firstly that not everyone on LIB is having that talk astounds me as marrying in 6 weeks without that agreement seems particularly foolhardy on top of already risky proposition, but also because a prenup is a great way for both parties to outline their needs and expectations. Freddie’s desire to protect the assets he built for his family (we don’t know from the show but many funeral homes are family businesses) and particularly to ensure the wellbeing of his brother who needs extra care is truly admirable and honest/upfront. That is a man who will also be very thoughtful about the care of his future children AND his spouse. A mature, financially literate person could meet him in the middle with a transparent negotiation and say something like, “I love that family is so important to you and you want to honour your obligations, I know that in time you’ll feel the same way about the family we will grow together. To that point, while I completely agree that for the next while it makes sense that your assets still go to your brother/sister or a trust if you passed unexpectedly young, I think you could see that if we were married for a long time - say, 25 years, and have a couple of kids, that those same provisions would also be unfair to me as your longterm spouse and your kids, who may still be minors or may have their own special needs. So can we talk about what it’ll look like longer term? Can you imagine my having to leave our home of decades because it wasn’t left to me? That extreme also seems unfair, while I also acknowledge the other extreme: that if I were your wife of only 6 months and you fell off a cliff it does also seem unfair for me to get everything and your family being cut off. Are there set assets like your home or a certain amount that you want to remain yours and leave to family and anything accrued together in our marriage over time is shared? How will we build wealth over time and our own family within this framework? Could we invest in a property that is ours only together or find a way to safeguard our family home like granting me living rights even if it doesn’t go to me outright?”
To just eschew a prenup altogether under LIB circumstances is a total red flag to me and further emphasizes a blatant asymmetry in Freddie & Catherine’s relationship - the reason he has a house to stay in and eat beans on toast in is because he was financially prudent and has accrued assets. Catherine still lives with her parents and clearly doesn’t save much, if any, which is why she can go out so much. In a perfect world, Catherine could learn and benefit from Freddie’s fiscal responsibility and Freddie could find some more enjoyment in life from Cat’s joie de vivre (like taking vacations, etc.) but instead the very qualities that were attractive in the beginning as oppositional forces became sticking points. Catherine wants a stable, financially sound husband but then can’t accept Freddie making stable, financially sound choices (whether staying in and watching a movie snd eating beans instead of partying, or asking for a prenup). Similarly, Freddie seems to enjoy that Cat likes experiences and finer things in some ways, but sends her mixed messages (e.g. calling her bougie and then getting her expensive earrings) about her preferences. By getting her those earrings, he kinda reinforced his own concern that she may in part be in this for access to his assets/pocketbook as it did sort of read like “you don’t get me but you do get a consolation prize” - which I agree does seem like a parting gift and a nice gesture but it also solidifies his underlying fear that she wants creature comforts and high life but might not be in it for him/love. That’s another big reason prenups can be helpful, if there is wealth discrepancy it’s a hood way to see if your partner is willing to sign away those potential benefits for the relationship, that’s a good indicator that it’s a love match as opposed to a material match. Prenups can have stipulations (e.g. after X period of time assets become joint) and can be renegotiated later as the marriage solidifies.
I was really sad for these two as they had so many surface-level things going for them - they look great together and have similar interests/connections to down syndrome, etc. But they are fundamentally at very different life stages and levels of maturity. Catherine seems like she is still deeply troubled and has a lot of healing and emotional work to do, but I do think shrouded under a lot of poor behaviour is a fundamentally good person trying to find their way. Freddie seems mature and pretty ready for a serious commitment, kids, etc. I wish they could’ve closed the gap together but hopefully they’ll both find great partners apart and enjoy the love they both deserve. My heart does ache for Catherine’s unresolved attachment trauma and I do hope she can overcome it with time.
Well put. Very well said. I share your sentiments.
I was a big fan of Freddie on the show. The prenup discussion made perfect sense to me. In his job, he works with families of all kinds and different dilemmas that may show the issues of how a family member’s finances are handled when it comes to their passing and funeral arrangements. I bet he’s seen a lot on that front. Like many, he preferred to have a direct family member in charge and not someone he’s known for 4 weeks handle their finances.
So why didn’t he bring it up in the pods just like y’all expected Catherine to bring up the cheating thing in the pods?
I believe Cathrine did everything to sabotage the relationship. I think Freddie was really scary to her because he was so solid. She wanted to find the problem when there wasn’t one and I bet she’s so used to shitty men and it’s very scary meeting someone who is treats you like a partner should. There can be a lot of paranoia around that.
You’ve worded this perfectly 😢 I relate so much to this! When you’ve been so used to chaos, normalcy paradoxically becomes a threat and messes with your nervous system. I’m trying really hard to stop self-sabotaging. Your comment made me feel seen ❤
@@igobydidi i like those words
I mean his past infidelity is definitely a problem. There weren’t no problems.
@@soulsearcher7077 It felt like she just needed "something". I agree, it is a red flag. But it says a lot that he admitted it. I get the feeling that Catherine has also cheated and would. But I don't think she would ever admit that.
YES STEPH!!!! I have bpd so how you described fear of rejection/abandonment is something I noticed with catherine straight away. It's so much easier from my own experience to cut someone off as soon as u feel threatened rather than to hear the rejection. Love that u touched on this
I found it kind of telling that Cat went "he's acting like I go to Noma every week" and Freddy saying "I don't know what that is"
Because it demonstrated that she is more "bougie" than he is
Nobu
@@OpqHMghow bougie of you 😜
Was looking forward to your analysis on these two! 🙌🏾 100% agree, Catherine definitely wasn't emotionally mature or healed enough to even THINK about marriage, let alone marriage via the LIB process. I hope Freddie is OK and in good spirits after all that occurred. Love the video, Dr. Steph! 😊
A lot of the participants on this show are not ready for marriage at all, its crazy how unprepared mentally, emotionally, financially these people are - on a show about getting married immediately!! Also why dont they provide the couples with premarital counseling?
This should be a relationship show and not a marriage show.
Agreed. There should be preliminary qualifiers in these areas.
Yes even post marital counselling until the reunion at least would have been helpful
About the earrings, I didn't catch it when I initially watched, but a couple different recaps/commentaries I watched mentioned they were pretty sure the earrings were actually a brand deal with Netflix because of the focus on them and the way they were displayed, so I personally think Freddie might have been alluding to pressure from production when he was talking about it being "frowned on" to not to get her the earrings. Just my opinion, but that explanation does make a lot more sense to me. 🤷♀️
Ohh that would make more sense! I was so confused
@@StephAnya For sure! I also know that for the reunion they filmed significantly longer than what was released (apparently the Sabrina/Steven conversation alone took at least 30 mins during filming), so he might have even explained in more detail and they just cut that part out.
I always love your pov in these. I def think prenups are beyond needed for this show
100%
Hi there @StephAnya,LMFT may I please ask a question? You didn’t touch in the family dynamics in this breakdown, and I was keen to hear your take on Catherine’s adoptive parents. I remember they both gave Freddie some really good advice about dealing with Catherine and marraige in general. Although I agree with and respect Freddie’s decision not to move forward. However, in Catherine’s parents interactions with Freddie, I truly felt that they were really good people with good intentions and cared for their children. They adopted Catherine and they seemed great. So my question is, what could they have done in Catherine’s upbringing to help here develop a secure attachment and good self-esteem? Or would her being adopted always have affected her that way? I’m wondering because if I would like to adopt one day, what can I do to help build that self-confidence in my child and make them feel accepted instead of rejected? Thank you so much for your content, truly love and appreciate it 🤗🤗💕
Super awesome question! I would love to hear her take.
Agree what a great and thoughtful question
Anyone got an answer to this question? I have trouble finding a partner, but I desperately want to build a family. Adoption is the most plausible option, but I want to make sure they will always feel safe, loved and confident to take on the world.
the way you analyzed their behaviour is absolutely perfect
I absolutely love this take, Catherine set Freddie up for failure with every question or test she had for him. She was always going to find a fault in his answers and behavior to justify or excuse her actions and her perpetual distrust or just overall unsatisfied by him. I also found it telling that she was very unamused and unimpressed with Freddie's career or his work ethic/how he took pride in his job and his reasoning behind it (plus finding out he always had he brother in mind when thinking about his future and the whole pre-nup convo) UNTIL she saw his house🤔🤔😳 and realized he wasn't some scrub with a pretty face. He was very serious and dedicated to his family.
Such a lovely man how is he still single .. I hope he finds the right woman for him cause she ain’t it
@@Bunny11344 Freddie is a gem. He's a beautiful person inside and out. He's a simple man who doesn't seem to do much. I hope he finds love.
"I don't intentionally flirt..." is not true at all. No one makes Cat act flirtacious.
Great video. Can’t wait to see the Nicole and Benaiah video. ❤
Thank you Steph ❤. Your content is very fulfilling
Glad you think so! Thanks for watching 🥰
I appreciate your analysis of the couples a lot and think it really is so spot on all the time. Thanks so much! Love it!!
Thanks so much for always watching!!
I wish you mentioned his sister because I think that changed his mind ultimately
Yes! I'm so glad this sister said that he was different and he seemed more reserved which is very different than how he usually is
@@jclyntoledo That broke my heart.
When I watched the show, whenever Cat's friends were on the screen, I couldn't help but cackle.
It was giving, "girl, we are on your side because we're friends... but this 100% isn't working out."😂
I dated a man I felt was out of my league, he was smarter had a better family dynamic, made more money etc. Though I did the opposite and tried to be a perfect as possible so he wouldn’t find a reason to leave me. It wasn’t authentically me, obviously. I was very young so I don’t beat myself up about it, but it’s so crazy when you sit back and think about it.
I was waiting for this! I’m so glad that you take the time to make these but I do wait impatiently for each one 😂
I really love 4:57 because I adore your content and I'm autistic! moments and reminders like this seem obvious for others, but for me they are not😅 really appreciate it!!!!!
I’m so glad that comment was helpful!! 🤗
Steph, I think you are a masterful therapist - only wish it was easy to find other practitioners who are as good as you are.
When Catherine started flirting with Sam it immediately gave away her need for safety to feel desired especially if she felt insecure in her relationship with Freddie
This is why you’re the GOAT Steph Anya! I picked up on this dynamic with Cat as well but you put it into words perfectly. I was happy to see at the reunion that the two of them looked back at the experience positively. I think it’s something the’ll grow from individually.
Such an insightful analysis. Catherine has so much to heal and work through. Freddie, what a beautiful person.
To me Catherine is one of those people (female or male) whose partner is more attractive than them, when they are used to be the more attractive one. This leads to insecurity and so they try to knock their partner down a few pegs so they don’t feel inadequate. I’ve seen it time and again.
She’s like a -0 and he’s a 10
The out of the pods podcast suggested that the gift of the earrings was a producer idea, and what Freddie said at the reunion kind of confirmed that for me. He seemed like he was trying to make an excuse for being made to do it by the producers, without saying that’s what happened. When I watched it I did think it was misleading and gave Catherine the wrong idea, which seemed out of character for Freddie
I think the reason why Cat was very sure of her wanting to move forward the day of the wedding was because it ultimately confirmed her initial feeling and auto sabotage during the show: she was yet and again being rejected. I think deep down she knew there would be a good chance of him saying no after all the conversations with Freddie. Although very hurtful for her to relive that situation, it is after all, known territory, so there is a sense of “controlled situation”. Kind of like a big “I told you this would happen”.
Cat didn’t even want to be his friend, let alone his wife. I hope she starts therapy because as an adoptee with the same origin (young baby adopted by two parents) that’s something you have to deal with. Especially to be in a fruitful relationship. Also of course you should get a prenup! That feels like common sense when marrying someone after knowing them a month 😂
So excited for this one!!!
This was SO educational omg thank you! Feels like you really got what happened there.
I was so excited to watch this, if not more than the actual show lol I love your takes and insight. It allows us to have perspective not only on relationships dynamics but also insight on things we need to work on ourselves. ❤
I feel like after the information thay Freddie cheated in the past Cath became super passive aggresive, she was rude, taking everythint seriously and testing him as if she preffered to self - saborage the relationship due to fear that he might cheat on her as well. Also a bit shocked that they didnt discuss this issue in pods since it seems like its her biggest trauma
Great analysis. I am glad you pointed out some of what we were thinking. It was obvious she sabotaged the relationship as it didn't make sense why she would hurt such a nice man, ready for marriage. But you broke it down, now it all makes sense. As nice as Freddie is at least he no fool and knew she was ultimately not right for him and was grounded throughout the whole process.I hope he eventually meets someone a lot more suited. What a beautiful person and soul ❤.
YES I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS ONE SO MUCH
I hate that I missed the live, but #ReplayGang. Great insight as always. Cat's self sabotaging was hard to watch, as she dragged Freddie down with her. He looked so defeated with her, and I'm glad he chose to end things. It would have been horrible for them to remain together.
I love all of your videos as a resident LCSW I find these so helpful. Thank you!
I really appreciate you sharing your interpretations, especially when you explain certain terms or conditions. I know you’re just sharing your thoughts as a therapist but I’m learning a lot too!
Thoughtfully analyzed. Thanks for these! You articulate more clearly what I sense but can't put my finger on. Well done!
Self sabotage and imposter syndrome are two similar behavioral patterns that I’ve definitely struggled with
Love your perspective on Catherine & Freddie self sabotage some times you feel or sense a person pulling away instead of trying to work things out you bail
Could you do a video on the couples from Love Is Blind that are still together? So that we can learn from good examples ❤
Or bad examples who should not be together but for some reason still are 🤣🤣🤣
She made a video about Tiffany and Brett and their green flags, in case you haven't seen it
These are so insightful. I love how simple actions can reveal so much, almost makes me wanna study psychology
I love these videos! I have been watching all your love is blind videos. They are so insightful and interesting. Thank you for sharing and teaching me so much.❤
This was so educational. I feel like you explained so many things that a lot of couples, who are made up of two good people, go through.
Okay wait Steph you lowkey therapized me in this video with a very specific thing Catherine did & now I need to understand why I’m like this 😂😂😂
Love your insights as always!! Would love to see your analysis of the other couples in LIB UK! Tom and Maria, as well as Nicole and Beniah would be interesting!
If I remember correctly, Cat does say “He’s bougie” when she first saw his apartment, and she said it as a positive thing. So I think she used that word
Also I learned from -out of the pods- podcast, in the Sabrina episode, that they weren’t given Prenups, so maybe the big deal was about that, we just don’t know because of how much editing there is
I really love your channel and I’m so happy with how clearly you explain these dynamics! Can you make more videos ?
Especially on emotionally avoidant types ?
I'll be honest I always thought her laughing when he was saying nice things because she didn't know how to accept such nice words. Like especially with her history being cheated on it could be very difficult for her to accept compliments I for one always laugh when people compliment me and I don't even mean to
I really like Freddie so much. I mean I would totally be like "oh my god, he looks too good to be true", so I understand her insecurity about it, but the way she behaved was so awful. i am pretty sure she was the mean girl at highschool. He is such a nice person, family oriented and the way he speaks about his job. I am sure he will find someone really great.
I was watching the UK season hoping that you’d cover them. And you never disappoint 🙌🏾 Always spot on and thorough! Thank you ❤
So happy you are back 🎉 I've missed your lib content ❤
So sweet! Thank you ☺️♥️
I find it very interesting how Cathrine tells her story. Yes, she was put into the foster care system, but she was also adopted by a loving couple. Of course she's allowed to feel upset about not being raised by her biological parents, but I think it would bring her a lot of healing to recognized the positive aspects of her adoption more.
I also REALLY want to know if she's met her biological mom. Cathrine often uses the word "abandoned," and I wonder if she's learned some undeniable proof of that, or if that's just the narrative her pain has created.
Loved this, you always do such an awesome job with these! Can’t wait for the next one!
It would be great if cast members watched your videos! Yeah, they’ll know editing played a role in how they came across but since your analysis is based on things they actually did say and do, it could be really useful to watch your videos and learn. I really hope your videos have reached their radar and have some of them considering your insight as helpful in their lives 🤞🏾🤞🏾
i've been waiting for this!!! they were such a damn mess. from the moment she said once a cheater always a cheater their fate was sealed. felt bad for both of them and even though i got spoiled shortly before the wedding ep i still wept for them both and i usually don't get that emotional for reality tv. i had to pause and stop because of how sad i was.
Girlfriend! Your explanation of Catherine's Self-Sabotage......😳😳🤯🤯 That poor girl. She definitely wanted Ollie, and said she didn't know what she would do if he didn't choose her. That's why she needed validation in Greece and needed to know from HIM what he thought about her after seeing her. Sooooo complicated the way the mind works.
So pumped new video!!Every funeral director ive ever met is passionate about their work (im an ER nurse soive met quite a few lol)
What wonderful analysis as usual Dr. Steph.
Yes everyone usually has a bit of bias yet the way that you curate your videos reflect how intentional you are to look at dynamics objectively and based on observational facts. I really appreciate that, because so many others are just filled with opinions. The contentment part was very eye opening for me! 🔥
This was a very highly anticipated video 😄
Things you are saying are so true 👏🏻 Regarding ‘boogie’, she did say it about his room or home.
You are so brilliant in your analyses! Thank you for doing this ! 💐💐💐💐
Aww thank you for watching!! ♥️
I felt like Catherine was very unkind to him throughout the process, her lack of acceptance for who he is while simultaneously expecting him to be accepting of her because she s adopted made my blood boil. Yes, disorganised attachement is hard to deal with, speaking from experience, but she lacked accountability and maturity. Her adoption seemed to be her jail out of free card. Also she never really spoke about his character or personality. Before the wedding and even in her vows, it was all about either superficialities or the way he treats her. It was about what he can provide for her, not who he is. She really rubbed me the wrong way because the whole situation just seemed very unjust
Prenuptials should be a requirement by the production team. It is the responsible thing in these flash connections. It would also remove that as a concern that may affect emotion and decisions.
SO happy you watched the UK season!! 🎉 can’t wait to watch your breakdowns
I was waiiiiiting for this video from you
Everything you’re saying is what I saw too, only I thought Cat’s intentions were less pure, like she idealized Freddie and then once he was so pure she as bored by it
Thank you, ma'am. Cat beat Ollie to the punch because she couldn't bear to have that man reject her first. Because? She feels superior to Demi and her brain can't handle any other scenario.
Bingo! Cat switched on time to avoid rejection and a nasty person. The reunion let her slide big time and she was not going to take accountability. Glad Freddie dodged being her cash cow.
Freddy is such a good guy, hope he finds someone really lovely and nice ❤
Your analysis is spot on.
I feel like she was a complete see you next Tuesday. And her friends were just as blonde and immature as she was. He was genuinely such a kind person. She did not deserve him at all. He’s way out of her league. Hope shes found someone fresh out of high school, someone more on her level!
I want LIB to hire you as the therapist for the couples. Would be great to have you work with them throughout before the wedding. I think the couple picks and marriage rates would be higher.
Aw man I really wanted her to comment on the wedding day rejection and Cat muttering “don’t hug me” to Freddie.
I was so happy to see your take on them! I liked Freddy so much but wondered if I was missing something. I’ve been walking around for weeks hearing “Freddy” in my head, in Catherine’s accent 😂
Thank you! The situation with Ollie was a huge flag for me. Freddie was very mature about it but deep down I felt it concerned him as well. Freddie was a nice guy and she wasn’t comfortable. Or more so maybe she knew she wasn’t ready.
This was so big for me Steph because I could see a lot of myself in Catherine.. like down to our fucking looks (im not saying I look like her, but we have similar complexions/aesthetics/etc.) I need a good therapist because I've never heard it put quite the way you did @10:58 . I'm the self sabotage queen. Always have to make sure I have the upper hand.
The minute Freddie said he cheated in the pass Cat started having doubts and started to self sabotage.
This couple kind of showed that love isn't blind in the negative for me? As long as the love wasn't physical and just something theoretical, Catherine had nothing to feel inferior for. The weird things were obviously still there but most people can be a little condescending, mean or petty at times. But she actually saw what he looks like and that everyone can see just how attractive he is, her issues came in in full force. It is a little sad because at the core this could have been a good match. However, until she works these things out, they will always come in her way.
When’s the next one! I need someone to explain this Sam, Nicole , Benaiah situation to me 😭😭😭
I did a video on Sam already! I'm deciding what to do next ♥
Steph, definitely Ollie and Demi.
I love your videos. You explain things so well!
Freddie is that beautiful kind introvert that is always at home 😅
Such good take on this dynamic. I can see myself in Catherine in past relationships and sometimes my disorganised attachment (now much more secure) can still take the lead in certain situations (romantic or not). Would be good for her to watch this video ✨
Wow, this is such an interesting take. It resonates with me. Thank you!
This was so insightful and had so many aha moments! Thank you!