girl wants to cheat and disguises it as an 'open relationship', guy then dumps her discord ► / discord 2nd channel ► / @moresus twitter ► / mythichorse
She practically made a bullet point list for “how I fucked up” and “reasons he’d be against polyamory” and still had the balls to ask “what did I do wrong?”
Story time: I had this coworker, chick in her 30s. Same type of situation, an open relationship with her husband. They got two kids together and got an expensive house together in a expensive lake side view neighborhood. First I gotta say is she’s a 2/10 at best, a real hefty girl. She openly sees other men while being with her husband. Husband understands the open relationship. A lil bit about him, went to school for engineering, has rich parents, handsome fit dude, really stay at home playing pc games dude. Like she was set with this dude. So she starts dating a BUNCH of other guys, so he starts to date his 1st other woman. A real hottie, nice body and likes the things he likes. He then regularly goes on dates with her. Wife sees this hottie and gets annoyed. She tells him not to see her anymore, and I’m like but you asked him and you did it first. In the end from what I heard she got insanely jealous and felt like she was losing him. Goes to show that some woman only care about doing what they want and not care about the morality in things.
I had a girlfriend for 4 years. One day she sugested an open relationship. Actually I was interested on the idea of sleeping with another girls, but then she suddenly said "but you can't sleep with that one friend of yours. Nor that one. Because I'm jealous of them". And I was like "wait, it's an open relationship but you want to choose who I can or can't sleep with?" She tried to justify with arguments that obviously didn't make any sense. It obviously didn't work and we ended up breaking up.
Women also know that their man generally won't benefit from the open relationship,guys can't just go out and get some taco,but girls can go out and get sausage in no time. If he agreed and came home with a total bombshell the day after,she'd be begging to close the relationship real quick.
@@thelonesurvivor3955 There was actually a reddit post a year or two back of a woman who found out their boyfriend was bi, after she suggested an open relationship, and he started bringing back different gay dudes every night to bang in their bed. 🤣
>beloved by family and friends >thinks arguing is a waste of time, always aims to talk things out >lays out rules in the relationship along with likes/dislikes >hates cheaters >dumps girl on the spot for considering open relationship Damn, king...his game too powerful for today's times. Dude managed to keep his balls intact. Here's to a real man that can find a queen deserving of him.
That "Were you joking or are you serious" was the last lifeline he gave her, the last chance to take back what he considered irredeemable, the guy has more compassion than I ever could muster.
Thank god she didnt claim she was joking and find a way to loop this guy into sticking around while she got d on the side. He sounds like he would have probably seen through it but public opinion wouldnt be friendly toward a man who broke up with his gf over a "joke".
This is something I've seen numerous times. When I was in my early twenties I've had women lie on me, lie to me, and other things. Then two years later they hit you up out of nowhere, apologizing and once they get that forgiveness they block you because you've absolved them of their conscious.
@Protocol 7 there are different form of it, usually its where the female sleeps with whoever they want whenever they want, while the male lays on the floor in a ball and tries not to cry too loudly
She mistook a confident male that disliked drama for a weak male that avoided confrontation and thought she could get an open relationship. Then she discovered he wasn't weak and didn't avoid confrontations and was decisive as fuck. She also admitted their were guys she was interested in. Not guy... but GUYS.... Like he said, he was cutting his losses.
@@tickermic8616 Most often people who don't yell all the time are the scariest when they finally snapped, if people I know tanked BS with a smile, I won't try to test their limits.
The other important thing is sleeping with someone is never purely physical. Even if its casual with anew partner every time, sleeping with someone is bonding, and it produces chemicals in your brain that makes you attached to the other person.
@@kuraiaku2997I hate arguing, i dont like confrontations, i hate rasing my voice as well, it doesnt help fix anything if emotions are heightened. She mistook my calm demeanor with weakness and she found out the hard way. She got kicked out immediately out of my house along with her friends when i overheard her talking shit about me with her friends in my own damn home.
Straight up the way she describes it he was acting methodically and decisively, almost like he was enacting a contingency plan. Not a hint of intense emotions to be found.
I had the opposite happen to me. Me being the woman and my then boyfriend wanting to open the relationship after six years. All because a drunken woman called him a "sexy nerd" in some online MMO he was playing. This was apparently enough to have this epiphany that it was selfish to be with only one person and everyone should get an equal chance if they're genuinely in love. A bunch of bullshit. Thankfully I'm married to a much better person now.
I empathize with you, but I had to laugh at his reason for wanting an open relationship. A drunk woman told him he was a sexy nerd in a videogame?! That’s all it took?
As someone who has been cheated on in the past, good on this dude for immediately breaking it off he deserved better and obviously this girl was too delusional to realize that
@@nonono777 not that she admitted no. But most people won't admit to it either, I think what Ditzy meant though it's that it's a good thing the guy got out when he did because usually, not always, if someone waits until they're in a relationship for that long to even discuss the idea, they've already cheated or are going to do it whether or not the answer is no. It's a tactic to be seen as not guilty because they had "permission" or because they already feel guilty for their actions, whether they admit it or not. Again, not always, but a good chunk of the time
What she says: "we've been an item for 5 years, and I know you're very monogamous, but do you think we could try an open relationship?" What he hears: "I don't love you anymore. I want other men. But I still want some of your assets."
That is NOT what he hears. That is WHAT SHE MEANS. What he hears is exactly what she says, 'She wants an open relationship'. At that point, the guy has to realize what she really means.
If my husband came home and suddenly wanted an open relationship, no matter what he said, I would assume he’s at least already found someone else. The trust would be gone and I would be devastated and feel betrayed. Even without the physical cheating yet, it would only be a matter of time at that point. I wouldn’t be able to see it any other way so I don’t blame this man at all for leaving immediately.
My problem is simple: SHE IS STILL NOT FEELING GUILTY of thinking of this. She could have been genuinely sorry and decide to focus only on him, but nope, she wanted to take the cake and eat it too.
Let's keep it a stack: if they ask for openness in an established monogamous relationship its one of two things 1: they've already cheated and want to alleviate their guilt 2: they were considering cheating but want to remove the sting of the label.
Open relationships or polyamorus relationships need to be discussed AT THE BEGINNING of the relationship. Discuss it, set boundaries etc. If you ALREADY KNOW YOUR PARTNER IS MONOGAMOUS don't bring it up! Especially after you've been in a relationship for a while, that's going to destroy the relationship, ruin the trust, and make the involved parties upset. Just like how everything else is talked about before the relationship starts, the idea of polyamory or open relationships needs to be talked about at the same time. If you wait to mention it until you're years into a stable relationship it's going to to ruin it, and most of the time at that point, the one who suggested it has already cheated or will do it regardless. It's more often than not a tactic to seem like less of a shitty person when they've already done something horrible.
Agreed, its just like getting a permission to cheat like a cheat pass, if it was asked in the begining then itll be okay, BUT IF ITS 5 YEARS OR MORE THEN WTFF WHY U BROUGHT IT, SHE HAD A PERFECT LIFE AND SHE RUINED IT IN FEW SECONDS SHES A IDIOT
Let me stop your right there. Not at the beginning. YOU DISCUSS FUNDIMENTAL, RELATIONSHIP AFFECTING SHIT LIKE THAT BEFORE ENGAGING IN ONE. So many relationships break apart and people get hurt because of this: religion kids or no kids pets poly mono etc.. you need to have talked about that stuff
@@Daffodillon thank you, you're right. My wording was funky, I'll admit. By at the beginning I meant whenever y'all start discussing the idea of a relationship, but I can see where that can mean something else. Point still stands, these are ALL topics that need to be discussed before the relationship is started or official or any of that
This happened to me years ago with my ex of just over 3 years. She asked me what I thought about having an open relationship and I told her I didn't like it and said I wouldn't accept an arrangement like that. I learned my lesson a few months later when I found out on vacation together that she was smashing at least one other guy, which she denied. The evidence proved otherwise. Lesson learned: do what the guy did in this reddit post, don't just give your opinion and let it go like me. There's a reason why she's asking and it's not good.
Our world seems to have gotten to the point that not wanting to be in an open relationship equals not being open minded. She honestly can't understand why this bothers him? And indirectly criticizes his reaction as "not being open minded" enough? My goodness. And her whole "He could have just said no" also shows how she lacks understanding. She can't seem to understand that one can't just say no and comfortably stay with a person who asked for an open relationship. The trust would be gone. Even if he trusts she won't act on her desires, he would still have to constantly wonder if she's unhappy or desires being with other men. You can't stay in a relationship with that on your mind. I really hope he doesn't cave and get back with her. Plenty of people are so blinded by love that they agree to such a thing despite not liking it.
Whether she realizes it or not, she insulted his manhood, either figuratively or literally. She said, twice, that he's good in bed, but, I wonder how true that is, if she's looking for other "Experiences". Makes me think she was going to try to check around before settling down with him, in both senses of the word.
It’s a slap in the face to the relationship. If your sleeping around your bound to get feeling for someone, happened to someone on my dads side of my family, then divorce, a ruined family, and more. If you don’t like your partner break up then you can sleep around. Though just sleeping with people for fun is dangerous/trashy as well. If I’m not ‘open’ then I don’t care. I want a loyal partner that will be with me through thick and thin.
Based on the description of the guy, I imagine that he was reading a book with his legs crossed and when he said “are you serious?” He slightly glanced up from his book and when he leaves he closes his book and puts it under his arm
I was cheated on twice. And both times my ex’s defense was “I thought we had an open relationship.” Despite me never agreeing to that bs. I really dislike this open relationship culture we got nowadays.
@@natebit8130No we really need too, our court system is setup so that the woman can go around sleeping with multiple men at a time and when the husband finds out she gets half his lifework and assets despite her being the culprit. We need to rework this stupid system and have cheating and affairs being completely illegal with heavy fines on the perpetrators and even heavier fines if its discovered the dude who did sleep with her was manipulating her into it. Now obviously if the husband/boyfriend is abusive that speaks for itself when it comes to action.
I had a similar situation with my ex. She asked if we could have an open relationship. I said, "No. You're either with me fully or not at all." Then infidelity came about soon after. I don't know if it's true in all cases but if a partner asks they probably have someone on 'back burner' they want to screw or a precursor to being unfaithful. I learned my lesson the hard way.
You could expect him to engage in healthy discourse, she seems genuine. He's not obligated to but his reaction, while relatable and understandable, is quite immature
@@davepatois297 how is it quite immature to break up with someone who wishes to cheat on you while disguising it as an open relationship especially when you clearly prefer a monogamous relationship?
@@xrefed See, here you come with your preconceived notions. She's not disguising cheating by calling it an open relationship, she's discussing the possibility of an open relationship in good faith. That's not cheating. Preferring a monogamous relationship is his right, and frankly speaking I totally understand his decision. But she literally states that if that was his decision, she's have stuck by it. What's immature is walking away without discussing anything.
@@davepatois297 I mean better that he breaks it off right away then try to salvage a sinking ship. The fact that she wanted it and he didn’t meant that they were no longer compatible. There’s nothing to “discuss” because you can’t compromise on this, you either want it or you don’t, and he didn’t want it.
@@davepatois297 Didn't she state tho that he is a pretty traditional guy??? And that he doesn't like cheaters yet 5 years later she decides to bring up SLEEPING with other ppl😑 Like, it's obvious he saw his future with her and her alone while she even stated that she was CURIOUS about OTHER GUYS!!!! Yeahhhhhh, that seems like a cheater to me💀 Good thing he cut losses cuz good grief he deserves better.
I love how she paraphrases his opinion on girls who sleep around in a way that clearly proves he would never be ok with it, and yet she is still confused that he isn't ok with it.
I was with my boyfriend for 9 years before we got married. While I do consider this long, we knew we wanted to get married when our finaces allowed. I'm so happy and I would never EVER consider an open relationship! Even before we were married I knew I had a keeper, the least I could do was not mess it up and betray his trust in me. I'm going to say this because I love saying it so much: I LOVE MY HUSBAND!
@@hussainalrafi2261 I hope you do too. Everyone deserves a partner who loves and respects them. It's an added bonus if they look at you like you're the world's most delicious pizza.
No wonder he dropped her. She is the exact thing he's against. She's pretending to be innocent/acting like she doesn't know what she did wrong all the while listing the exact things she did wrong. The exact things he HATES in a partner, she is. It's like she went through the grocery list and checked everything before saying "I think that's everything, time to ask if it's ok to enter the next step of our relationship!"
"I want to experiment" this term can go from playing football and Trying out chess to straight up cheating You could say she wanted to sleep around and was acting innocent
@@AmaryInkawult dang 11 years ancient dinosaur and the pfp represents that haha Get it cause y'know?...yeah it's stupid now that I re-read it BUT I STICK TO MY COMMENT
Imagine you've done all you can to be a good partner for five years, thinking your girlfriend genuinely loved you and you did everything right...only for her to say "I wanna sleep with other guys"
What scares me the most is she said he hit every check box, he was perfect and she STILL wanted to sleep with other men. Not even the perfect guys are safe dude. As men, are we screwed?
Nah we're not screwed. We just gotta recognize these hoes and leave em to the streets when they show their true colours. No second chances. Besides, men gain value as we age, so u can always start over
Ngl, I’m going on a limb to say this was written by the guy from the girl’s perspective… Or it didn’t happen at all and is just a scenario someone came up with as rage bait I refuse to believe an actual person pointed out point by point in detail why they knew they’re being the a** in a situation I’ve lost faith in post like these after I found out a lot of them (not all) are just rage bait and didn’t actually happen, and the ones that are real are usually from the person who didn’t want Pollys POV not the other way round.
@@nathansteele4358 >I refuse to believe an actual person pointed out point by point in detail why they knew they’re being the a** in a situation you severely underestimate how lacking in self awareness some people can be.
Cheating is crossing a boundary, doing something the other person looks at as cheating (for example some would consider flirting cheating, others would not). If he was okay with an open relationship, it wouldn't be cheating, and she just asked him if that's the case? What's wrong with that?
A guy who's theoretically perfect in every aspect. To put it bluntly, he was the perfect partner. But alas, the woman wanted a bad boy who'd make her life full of drama. That was probably the one thing their relationship lacked, and the one thing she so desperately, subconsciously wanted... a romcom relationship. A shame.
@@sloth8866 : I’m willing to debate it, but I’ve never heard of a man ending a relationship just so his now -ex would beg him to come back, or pick a fight for, literally, no reason at all.
He handled it spectacularly. A direct and clean cut separation of a relationship that was no longer for him. Hope all parties involved get everything they deserve.
That's an overreaction and not how to deal with relationships. You talk and figure out if you can make things work Then if it's really unsalvageable you break up.
I think if they were to get what they deserve the girl would realize she made the mistake (which for the most part she seems to already know), and for the guy to forgive her and end up still loving her. She messed up and as long as she understands that she deserves a second chance
When she said she was serious, even if she explain she wouldn't do it if he wasn't okay, she would have cheated on him down the line. The fact that she was sexualy intrested in other guys means that at some point, first occasion, first drama, she would have used that as an excuse to go party and bang the first guy looking attractive enough. The guy wasted 5 years, but he didn't throw half his life and possessions in a divorce few years later. Respect to this real man for making the best choice of his life in a split seconde.
if a girl asks her partner of several years to "open up the relationship" then in majority of cases she has already cheated on her partner with somebody else and is simply looking for an excuse to keep cheating with that other guy while still having her current partner as a safety blanket in case it doesn't work out with that other guy.
I feel so sorry for guys like him who are theoretically perfect in everything yet are not appreciated enough. I can't comprehend why on Earth she wanted to see others.
Because he wasn't dramatic. She mentions how she did like his "no fighting" attitude at first. She wanted to get him mad, maybe subconsciously but, she wanted him to scream and shout and let it all out so she could feel like a soap opera main character. He was too perfect and she wanted a bad boy
@@nemesisalex9424 THIS!! THIS EXACTLY!!! Oh my goodness the fact people don't realize this is actually an issue with some women, they see things like Twilight, telenovelas, and other insane love dramas and instead of knowing it's crazy for drama- they see it as how romance should be and that's terrifying 😭
I found it kind of amazing that a woman who wanted drama could stay with such a mentally stable man for 5 years, but then I realized that I think she liked having him as a "safety net" or an investment for the future. She likely knew that his stability would be useful when she was ready to settle down, get married, and start a family but she wasn't ready for that yet and thus wanted a way to get some adventure while still maintaining her "future", but then she was sorely surprised when the man valued his stability over her. Perhaps she thought that their love and his commitment to being with her for 5 years would be enough to convince him to let her experiment.
Girl: *says he’s traditional* Girl: *says he hates cheaters* Girl: *says they’ve already been together for years* Girl: I don’t understand why he’s so upset! :(
Proposing an open relationship is the same thing as saying "I only like you because you provide for me but i dont actually like you for any other reason" in my book. Plus i'll count it as an attempt to drag me into a sinful and honorless life.
I absolutely hate this level of mental gymnastics to justify behavior people know is destructive and bad. If u want to sleep around say and own it. But this ba reasoning of o "i just want new experiences", "i just want to find myselft" etc is absolutely ridiculous. Its just a way to discontect the action from the stigma when sometimes the stigma is there for a good reason.
If someone is asking for an open relationship, most of the time, they are already cheating or going to cheat in the near future, it really doesn't matter if their partner agrees with it or not
@@Foxtrox7616 if he agrees that just means he doesn't actually want to be in a relationship, like, if that happens to someone who was married, what was even the point of marriage in the first place?
@@VintageMemory polyamorous isn't even supposed to mean getting dicked by multiple people. It just means that you love and trust two people so much that you can't betray either of them and want to spend time with them. Love is supposed to be an emotion of its own not just the "making love to each other" sort. It's supposed to be caring for a person enough to put themself before you and feel very happy together. The sex part is just a stimulant for making having a kid desirable, that part is literally just your instincts preparing you to have a child with another person. We're just biological designed to do things that release the rewarding hormones. Two people can love each other madly and still never have sex their entire life. On the flipside, two people could be together only because the sex feels good. The first one is love and second is just lust. In my opinion, love is much more important in a relationship than lust, though lust can go a long way in strengthening love by keeping even the instincts locked into the person you love. Tl:Dr love≠sex, love important for relationship, lust helps maintain love but love can exist without lust
At the very least, she had someone on the hook and was just wanted the green light. She probably had been at least emotionally cheating with someone at that point.
@@carlwinslow8165 if it was reversed, the people defending this woman would be quick to say he is a cheater and hang him on the stake real quick. Men cant catch a break 🤧
She was going insane because the guy that wasn't enough for her left her...makes no sense lol. Good on that guy and hope he finds a women that appreciates his loyalty
I had a friend who asked her boyfriend 2 weeks into the relationship if they could have an open relationship. He was on the fence, because he wanted to say no, but he was also obsessed with her enough to consider having an open relationship. But he told her no, and she still went out and cheated on him anyways. She's cheated on him a couple of times more over the last few years too. I didn't know until her boyfriend brought it up to the friend group just last year. Me and her did everything together, we even ended up going to the same college. At the college, she met someone and slept with him multiple times. I noticed they would leave together and everything. She confronted me about having feelings for him and I told her that she should talk to her boyfriend first. But she didn't and ignored my advice. (On top of that, she guy she was cheating with, didn't know that she was already in a relationship. He said that if he had known he wouldn't have even glanced at her, because he's been cheated on and knows how it hurts.) And then it was brought to my attention even more when her boyfriend made the group chat. We all decided to call her out and cut her off. And her boyfriend broke up with her. She was toxic. She tried to make us feel guilty, saying stuff that was self-deprecating. It didn't work. She has no other friends so idk what she's doing now. I managed to get with the guy she was cheating with and we're happy. So now she really has no one. Sometimes I feel bad, but then I remember, she did this to herself. She tried to keep it under wraps for YEARS.
Basically, this girl wanted to see if a new guy that she was attracted too would be a good replacement. Gentlemen, anytime a girl says she wants an "open relationship" it basically means she wants to try a new guy out but keep you around as a plan B in case it doesn't work out with the new one. She wants something different, but doesn't want to risk losing the comforts she has built with you. So basically you're being used for resources and nothing else. Any of you that fall for this are idiots.
You're not JUST being used for resources. That happens anyway. But you aren't her first choice anymore, so you should probably choose someone else too, someone who values you the way you value them.
I had this once a few years back My GF said she wanted an open relationship and I said let me think about it, I'll get back to you tomorrow. Take note that I had no idea what she was talking about so once I got home, I searched what it was online and immediately saw red flags everywhere so the next day I went to her house, her dad opened the door, she came down and I told her "Im breaking up with you" and left. A few weeks later I saw her dad and he asked why I broke up with her, I told him what had happened and he agreed with me. No idea what happened after that
From all of these stories, I have learned something about women asking for an open relationship. She has either already cheated and wants to clear her conscience, or she's lined everything up and is about to cheat the moment the guy agrees to an open relationship.
Some years ago, I was with a woman for 3 years, and in our last year, she asked the same thing. So to get her back for even asking, I went with it. But I told her, "You need to be careful letting me off the leash." I dated/slept with almost 20 women that 3rd year. Had 3 - 3somes. She was getting turned down all the time. She thought it would be easy for her, when it was far easier for me. She couldn't handle it, and tried to accuse me of cheating. So I dumped her, and threw her out the first day she accused me. I won't take that. It was her idea. She actually said to me, "I can't believe you would do that to me." I told her it was easy, because I told all the other women about how she wanted to go outside our relationship, and they had no problem helping me rack up numbers just to get her back for asking in the first place. And I heard her last 2 men cheated on her. LOL.
As a woman who is waiting for marriage, dayum this chick got me triggered. I know women who want multiple partners instead of having just one because they like the excitement of each dude, 'cause they're not the same person. I understand their choices (Translating to, I don't really care what you do with your sex life) because the ones participating with this know what to expect. This, a 5 year relationship, maybe the chick got confident because it has been years, maybe she thought her boyfriend would be comfortable enough to consider new things like this, so why not giving it a shot. I would think so if she had been smart instead of thinking with her libido. Five years gives you a lot of information about the person you're with, she even says the guy is monogamous, so she gotta be delusional if she didn't see this coming. She's the one overreacting. Im glad that guy is free, I hope he gets a break from women like her ex and have fun with his friends.
Ok let me get this straight, He's attractive,smart,calm, patient and avoids conflict and chooses to talk thing's over rather than choose violence as a solution(also decisive as fuck), an absolute 10/10 And she's mad that he left her because she basically said "so uhh hey I wanna fuck other men, that's fair right?"
People are baffled as to how she didn’t see this coming when she asked that question. Simple. She’s just really dumb. Chick that stupid had to be pretty hot for a guy like that to want her.
I don’t get that if she wanted to fuck other guys she should be in her hoe phase rack 5 bodies to see what’s like THEN get into a relationship. Most people want a fix on their sex urges from many people to see what it is like but don’t want to lose their current relationship
You can’t just turn a serious monogamous relationship in an open one. It’s whether you discuss that at the beginning or you don’t even get involved (or you break up if the thought occurs later in the relationship). The guy did the best thing, once that topic is brought up the relationship is pretty much over. Better ripping the bandaid off immediately and call it a day
There is instances where a very monogamistic relationship can turn open, but the chances are relatively slim. If someone is clearly religiously monogamistic (or absurdly uptight for monogamy) then they'll most definitely not change their mind, so it's better to call the relationship quits since you both want a different kind of relationship.
@@arandomguy9669 who's talking about not having control? You can have control on how much food you eat but if I have to only eat what my wife cooks it's just an unnecessary and pointless restriction. You don't get married only to get a wife that cooks for you just like you don't get married just to have sex. So why the limitations on that? Those vague values that people are trying to pass as ultimate truths is why people get less and less married. People should get married because they love each other but everyone is telling newer generations that they should marry for financial stability or sexual exclusivity which are pretty pointless and unappealing to a lot of people in the current year. So why even do it? That's also why there's so many older people who hate their wife/husband or act like they're shackled to them. Would you rather have your partner being like a cage you cannot leave or a home where you will always come back?
My first gf also hit me with this, instead of being like the girl's gf I was shot to the extreme end of hatred. Hatred for open relationships, hatred for polyamory. I went from accepting of other people's choices to a guy that wishes cheating was illegal again.
yea there was once a time cheaters were rejected by society, then pandoras box was opened and overall its shitty for everyone because now theres no incentive to have a meaningful faithful relationship.
Yeah people who cheats are the most scumbag type, like if you dont want to be with a person just be honest and say it, dont be a scumbag and hide it, it feels bad dude, but thats how people are sometimes.
The fact someone like this absolute king got put together with such a dumb and idiotic woman and stayed with it for 5 whole years until she crossed the line and putted his foot down shows how an absolute king he is and we should all be proud and inspired of his efforts of not being one of those people who just goes along with every dumb woman out there
I hear more and more stories like this almost weekly. People are starting to use polygamy, open relationships and threesomes as excuses to cheat in a monogamous relationship and its sick. They honestly think its okay because, in their minds, its just "spicing things up". When in reality, its borderline cheating and, manipulation.
If thats what someone wants to do then whats wrong with it?? As long as you ask your partner if they are also ok with it its no big deal and if they arent then it makes sense for the relationship to end as they simply want to live different lives. Just let people be who they want to be I dont get what you guys are making such a fuzz about.
@@lonerevenant0 Oh, no someone has a different morale code than me! The absolute horror. Does not mean society is going to end over it. Like with every new generation its changing wether for better or for worse can everyone decide for themselve.
@@aliamvickersfan2388Nor does this street urchin have the comfort of his home and money. She wanna be out on the streets she can go ahead and sleep on the streets too literally.
This applies to men and women; if your significant other asks for an open relationship, what they are really saying is that they want to cheat on you without you getting mad about it. Don’t put up with that. There are a couple of billion people on earth, you can find someone who appreciates you.
If someone is in a monogamous relationship and proceeds to ask to open it up, most of the time they ALREADY have someone else lined up. I would've done the same as that guy, good on him.
To me, it's even worse if they don't have anyone in mind, which is highly unlikely. Cause this means that you don't fit their needs that much that they are willing to take the chances on something completely uncertain. This whole situation should always end how they ended here.
Respect for this guy. A real man. He was convinced of the seriousness of her intentions, did not discuss or dissuade her, made a decision and quietly left. Not 5 or 10 years of relationship is not worth a day of life with a person like her. Only with her idiotic thoughtless whim, she devalued 5 years of their relationship. If these 5 years meant nothing to her, then why would this guy care about them? Long and happy years to this man.
I think you're jumping to extremes here. I agree what the guy did was for the best, but make sure not to demonize people like this. That girl probably does genuinely love that guy, I mean they were together for 5 years, and there is a high chance she genuinely believes that if he said no that she wouldn't try it ever and wouldn't cheat. The reason he left is probably because, despite intentions now, who knows what this will turn into in 5 years? If she wanted it badly enough to even ask, that means that, in spite of genuinely loving him, she wants other men. Which means that the likelihood of her being unable to hold back someday and cheating on him is high, which is a deal breaker. Love, unfortunately, is often not enough to keep a long term relationship stable. I'm on the guy's side here, I'm just pointing out a misunderstanding I think a lot of people have when reading this. There is no "bad guy/girl" here, just people being people, and it's tragic all around. Everyone lost in this situation, and it sucks that it had to happen
"If these 5 years meant nothing to her, then why would this guy care about them?" He clearly does care, and she clearly does too. Nobody wanted this outcome. She said one of the guy's friends asked her how she could do this to him, meaning he is definitely emotionally devastated because he's a human being not a robot or a faceless gigachad stereotype
@@erenjaeger9418 Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that she loves him, it doesn't matter what she or he cares about in this situation. Words will never replace actions. It doesn't matter how much she says she loves him. This is just an empty phrase, because her actions say otherwise. Relationships are not about "happiness", not about "love", it's about respect, sacrifice, morals and values. It is impossible to have a stable relationship with a person who does not respect you, who has other values. Her love meant nothing if she was capable of cheating on him. She loved him but didn't understand his feelings? Didn't understand what kind of pain he would experience? Didn't understand what he would have to go through? Whether she understood or not, she still decided to offer it to him. And do you know why? Because she's an insensitive piece of shit who knows what she's doing is wrong, but still asks about an open relationship. It is important for her to know not how her desire can affect their relationship, but the fact that he will be ready to forgive her, will not hold a grudge against her. "in spite of genuinely loving him, she wants other men". You don't seem to understand what the hell you wrote here. You can't say "genuinely loving" and "wanting others" in the same sentence. We don’t know much about the guy himself, so I didn’t judge him harshly. Like I said before, actions speak louder than words. The guy hearing this made the right decision and broke up with her. He realized that all these 5 years he was in a relationship with a pathetic weak piece of garbage who values his own desires more than their relationship. There is obviously a right side and a wrong side, the bad side and the good side. The girl is bad, the guy is good, period.
My ex wife of 4 years tried this. I told her we were getting a divorce and in preparing for court found instances where she had been cheating for 3 years with multiple guys.
These stories always go the same way >Girl wants an open relationship >Boy breaks up >within 4 hours she moves in with her new boyfriend Always the same. She already has a new relationship in secret
I think the fact that she's still trying to justify herself after all this and not realizing how much she hurt him after being together for *5 years* is the reason he stood up and left right then and there, hence the "are you joking?" part because of him being in complete disbelief. He did the right thing, I've come across lots of these type of people who do the most atrocious things, say the most devastating words and only apologize after for the sake of apologizing. If the post was something like "I've made a huge mistake of hurting a person I love, how can I get him back?" And it would be about her actually realizing what she had done, I could see how people could give her the benefit of the doubt for the guy acting immature and leaving on the spot. The fact that he did this, means that in contrary to her, he came to know what kind of person she is throughout the years. I even presume the relationship might not have been so ideal from his perspective, and this was the last straw.
I think so too. Legit, women DO NOT have great Role Models nowadays. Cardi B is literally the Female Version of Bill Cosby and GOT AWAY WITH IT. False Accusations started increasing again after the Johnny Depp/Amber Turd trial. And everything repeats. There NEEDS to BE LAWS DAMN IT!
Nah i dont think this is about having role models, its about being conscious of your decisions, being empathetic to other people and thinking with your head. You dont need a role model for that.
I imagine that if it was discussed at the beginning of the relationship, it wouldn't have ended in an immediate breakup. But 5 years into the relationship?! Imagine being like, "I know we're committed to each other, but I'd like to step away from commitment and share the body I've been committing to you for years. You're not enough." It HEAVILY implies that your partner hasn't been enough for you. And if he had said no, she probably would have cheated behind his back. She was planning on getting it on with someone else. So he nipped it in the bud and saved himself from a possible STI or greater heartbreak.
If it was discussed at the beginning, the relationship wouldn't have happened at all. He's very monogamous, so he wouldn't make an exception regardless of when the subject was brought up.
@@theewildrose There's a difference between "changing as a person" and suddenly wanting to sleep with other people in a committed relationship. And even if we can classify this as "changing", the boyfriend still has every right to not like the change and leave.
Basically what she said in not so many words: "I have no respect for you. Already know you're very likely to say no to this. I've been thinking about having sex with other men but am such a lovely and gracious girlfriend I decided to let you know beforehand." Him: "Writing on the wall... she's losing respect for me... has thoughts about other men... if I say no she'll just do it anyways behind my back as time goes on." The fact she even had the balls to ask that question is beyond me.
I'm in a poly relationship, and in my experience it really has to be open from the start. I've watched others open their relationships and it usually falls apart pretty fast.
Even people in non-monogamous relationships know most people aren't actually fit for open relationships. Yet people hear "oh, I get to eat both the cake and the pie!?" and they run with that. With no awareness that Pandora's box is about to be opened. That's not the kid of question you can just take back or forget about. You're bringing into question the very foundation of the relation, and suggesting said foundation is not compatible with you. It's honestly so brain dead. And the fact she was already think of other guys in that way to the extent of trying to change her relationship is a huge red flag. It's good the dude got out.
disagreed, people are mostly only fit for closed relatonships if they had open ones and over time learned to not fuck up. how you can call someone a partner that doesnt know that they want you because they overcame the urge to go by hormones or to choose someone else.
@@chillero3heftig712 “ people can only be in closed relationships if they fucked around first “ 😂😂😂😂 bro get your degeneracy and dump it somewhere else
Honestly, lets give the man's friends for being a just a genuine friend and just hard spitting facts on the woman. And instead of just laughing it off, supported him and also defended him from her. Not allowing her or even telling her where he is.
The most important thing guys need to know about this subject is this: If she asks you for an open relationship, you're already in one. You just don't know about it. Sounds like the guy knew this.
This is the norm for reddit posts. Married couples where females asked for open relationships, husbands reluctantly agreed. The wives slept around while the husbands found the woman of their live, divorced and the wives wanted them back. Surprised pikachu face
I recently saw a Reddit post talking about how a husband pressured his wife into an open relationship but then got upset when she was sleeping with someone else.
If she asks for an open relationship, she is either already cheating or wants to cheat without feeling guilty and she believes you won't be able to find someone else as she views you as a mere beta because if she thought you could actually get with other women, she wouldn't have asked for an open relationship in the first place.
This happened to me today. My ex bf of one year(this was our anniversary week) brought up the idea and I immediately ended the relationship. If you are so desperate to get laid with other people, just leave the relationship, don't try to disguise it as something beautiful, because it is not, it's cheating.
The girl in the video wasn't desperate, she wanted to open her boyfriend about the idea and said she would have been fine with it if her boyfriend was uncomfortable with the idea. Though, asking for a poly relationship with a guy who she knew was traditionally oriented is a dumb idea.
@@zototheo2580 just asking is enough to tell me one is desperate for more to be honest If not, why even ask? By then you are just setting up your relationship to fail
@@zototheo2580 It's not about being traditionally oriented. In fact polygamy has always been a concept used by humans and has also been a tradition itself. It's the fact that she asked to have a polygamous relationship after establishing a monogamous relationship.
The relationship is already ruined because even if the guy says no and stays with her he’ll be stressed about everything around her thinking “am I not good enough” or being suspicious that she is just cheating
@@Wumbology378 If this comment section is anything to go by, there's no such thing as "she being fine with him sleeping around". A lot of people talking about how it ended up being a "scam".
@@EdyAlbertoMSGT3 Because often it's exactly like this. Women know full well they have far more option than most guys and take advantage of it. But if by chance you score an hot girl, a potential threat to her, be assured she'll let you know she's not okay with it.
I hate it when people say ,,I wanted to open his/her mind to something different" it's just, the most manipulative shit. I've been in a few situations where my partner or friend would try to warm me up to something that I'm not into and try to convince me to change my opinion, It reeks of gaslighting and toxicity.
its especially bad when its trying to change someone's moral character or used to pressure people into certain sexual acts that they wouldn't otherwise engage in
@@bigbrexitdad879 And the worst part is those people see themselves as some ,,saviors" or ,,bringers of light" they see themselves as superior I guess and they try to ,,inlighten" you but they don't take your opinion or feelings into consideration, it's sush narcissism.
@@bigbrexitdad879 Exactly, they are manipulative, toxic and should be stayed away from. I almost got into a relationship with one luckily for me he passed me off and I was able to see him for what he is in time so I managed to dodge a bullet.
@@natasapap7936 that's good that you dodged that. I dodged a girl a few years ago who used the whole looking cute and harmless thing to pass off being unstable and emotionally manipulative so I understand your relief
As a polyamorous person, you gotta make sure you let any partner know at the very start that youre poly/wanting an open relationship, NOT 5 YEARS. Its not fair to the person you supposedly love if you hold off that information for years. Monogamous people dont want their partner to see other people, and most poly people dont want to be w a mono person cuz the lifestyle differences. W on the bfs part. Girl was definitely just trying to cheat without it being "actual cheating." Poly people dont claim her
@@TrafficCone982 ik thats what it seems like to monogamos people, but its far from it. polyamorous people love to love. we want to be able to feel romantically/sexally connected to whoever our hearts lead us to, even if its multiple people at once. the difference between polyamory and cheating is communication. poly people state their boundaries and tell each other about people they meet/like/wanna have sex with. if communication isnt involved, its not polyamory, its cheating. hope this helps you to understand a bit more!
"He made it clear he didn't like cheating, so I don't understand why he broke up with me when I asked for a open relationship" Girl, he made it clear from the start that he wants a exclusive relationship. You asking for a open relationship means that you clearly don't, so he did the mature and responsible thing, by freeing your relationship, because he clearly couldn't provide the type of relationship you wanted, and you certainly wouldn't provide him the relationship he wanted.
@@kowikowi8718 She has already taken an interest in someone else before asking. She stated this. Boyfriend wanted commitment and exclusivity, she wanted to sleep with said interest and was only asking for permission by opening the relationship. She screwed up a perfectly fine 5 year relationship.
@@AylosDN Even if she retracted it or said it was a joke, damage is done, she clearly wanted to try out some other brands of joystick prior to asking, if she hadn't already and wanted retrospective permission. If your wife or gf is even thinking about another man's tummy tickler, that means she's not thinking about yours and that's all the red flag you need.
![ความรักไม่ได้น่ากลัวขนาดนั้น (TRUST ME) - LYKN [ OFFICIAL MV ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/9np-lAtCRpQ/mqdefault.jpg)
world record speedrun for ruining a 5 year relationship 👏👏
Epic
NEW WR 7.482 SECONDS
i can easily beat that time
(NEW) 7 MIN WR SPEEDRUN
pov legit every tiktok girl:
I have been married 26 years.. if those words left her mouth I would be in a hotel in 15 minutes.
based wdeemar
@@Krakyy agreed, chad wdeemar
Bro thanks
Based
Based
She practically made a bullet point list for “how I fucked up” and “reasons he’d be against polyamory” and still had the balls to ask “what did I do wrong?”
@@Boardinator those were the balls of another man
Woman am I right
@@sunniboi7105 the balls of the man she really wanted to be with😂
@@sunniboi7105 💀💀
@@TF_56 ☕☕☕
*Her:* "I want an open relationship."
*Him:* "Alright, you got one; it's called being single. Bye!"
Very Funny
That’s exactly how he should’ve reacted.
that reddit was incel bait
Story time:
I had this coworker, chick in her 30s. Same type of situation, an open relationship with her husband. They got two kids together and got an expensive house together in a expensive lake side view neighborhood. First I gotta say is she’s a 2/10 at best, a real hefty girl. She openly sees other men while being with her husband. Husband understands the open relationship. A lil bit about him, went to school for engineering, has rich parents, handsome fit dude, really stay at home playing pc games dude. Like she was set with this dude. So she starts dating a BUNCH of other guys, so he starts to date his 1st other woman. A real hottie, nice body and likes the things he likes. He then regularly goes on dates with her. Wife sees this hottie and gets annoyed. She tells him not to see her anymore, and I’m like but you asked him and you did it first. In the end from what I heard she got insanely jealous and felt like she was losing him.
Goes to show that some woman only care about doing what they want and not care about the morality in things.
Holly shit. What did I just read….
Some people*
Tho it’s annoying to see entitlement
I hope that guy dumped that parasite that he calls his wife
I had a girlfriend for 4 years. One day she sugested an open relationship. Actually I was interested on the idea of sleeping with another girls, but then she suddenly said "but you can't sleep with that one friend of yours. Nor that one. Because I'm jealous of them". And I was like "wait, it's an open relationship but you want to choose who I can or can't sleep with?" She tried to justify with arguments that obviously didn't make any sense. It obviously didn't work and we ended up breaking up.
@@aramislucas3281 you made the right choice lol
Being in a 5 year relationship then being hit with “I want an open relationship” is basically like hearing “You aren’t good enough for me anymore”
And also wondering how long they’ve felt that way must be such a terrible feeling 🤦🏽♀️ idk why she’s surprised
"But I still want the stability you provide while I explore my options."
Women also know that their man generally won't benefit from the open relationship,guys can't just go out and get some taco,but girls can go out and get sausage in no time.
If he agreed and came home with a total bombshell the day after,she'd be begging to close the relationship real quick.
@@thelonesurvivor3955 There was actually a reddit post a year or two back of a woman who found out their boyfriend was bi, after she suggested an open relationship, and he started bringing back different gay dudes every night to bang in their bed. 🤣
Ong!!!
>beloved by family and friends
>thinks arguing is a waste of time, always aims to talk things out
>lays out rules in the relationship along with likes/dislikes
>hates cheaters
>dumps girl on the spot for considering open relationship
Damn, king...his game too powerful for today's times. Dude managed to keep his balls intact. Here's to a real man that can find a queen deserving of him.
LITERALLY
Such a W man
The giga chads of giga chads
**Can you feel my heart intensifies**
big W
That "Were you joking or are you serious" was the last lifeline he gave her, the last chance to take back what he considered irredeemable, the guy has more compassion than I ever could muster.
FR
Thank god she didnt claim she was joking and find a way to loop this guy into sticking around while she got d on the side. He sounds like he would have probably seen through it but public opinion wouldnt be friendly toward a man who broke up with his gf over a "joke".
To be fair, she succeeded in opening his mind to something different.
A different GF that actually loves him.
Damn right.😊
What gets me is how she said "I want to hear him forgive me" instead of "I want to apologize" as if she deserves it
self awareness: -1
This is something I've seen numerous times. When I was in my early twenties I've had women lie on me, lie to me, and other things. Then two years later they hit you up out of nowhere, apologizing and once they get that forgiveness they block you because you've absolved them of their conscious.
@Protocol 7 A relationship involving more than two partners
@@illusion8431 it is just fucked up and immoral. It is not progressive, sounds more like degradation to our animal past.
@Protocol 7 there are different form of it, usually its where the female sleeps with whoever they want whenever they want, while the male lays on the floor in a ball and tries not to cry too loudly
She mistook a confident male that disliked drama for a weak male that avoided confrontation and thought she could get an open relationship.
Then she discovered he wasn't weak and didn't avoid confrontations and was decisive as fuck.
She also admitted their were guys she was interested in.
Not guy... but GUYS....
Like he said, he was cutting his losses.
100% she thought she could walk all over him because he was calm and understanding.
@@tickermic8616 Most often people who don't yell all the time are the scariest when they finally snapped, if people I know tanked BS with a smile, I won't try to test their limits.
The other important thing is sleeping with someone is never purely physical. Even if its casual with anew partner every time, sleeping with someone is bonding, and it produces chemicals in your brain that makes you attached to the other person.
@@kuraiaku2997I hate arguing, i dont like confrontations, i hate rasing my voice as well, it doesnt help fix anything if emotions are heightened. She mistook my calm demeanor with weakness and she found out the hard way. She got kicked out immediately out of my house along with her friends when i overheard her talking shit about me with her friends in my own damn home.
@@kuraiaku2997good dont fuck with a quiet guy in any situation
Dude is more emotionally stable and rational than most of us, good on him for not being a doormat.
Straight up the way she describes it he was acting methodically and decisively, almost like he was enacting a contingency plan. Not a hint of intense emotions to be found.
He’s probably better off not having to drag her along through this shitty economy anyways
Not most of us.
Most of us aren't the slang word for cats.
Kindly asking to cheat doesn't make it any less cheating
audience are a bunch of incels. thats you
I had the opposite happen to me. Me being the woman and my then boyfriend wanting to open the relationship after six years. All because a drunken woman called him a "sexy nerd" in some online MMO he was playing. This was apparently enough to have this epiphany that it was selfish to be with only one person and everyone should get an equal chance if they're genuinely in love. A bunch of bullshit. Thankfully I'm married to a much better person now.
Thank god you got out of that
Damn, dodged a bullet
You did a matrix on those bullets
I empathize with you, but I had to laugh at his reason for wanting an open relationship. A drunk woman told him he was a sexy nerd in a videogame?! That’s all it took?
@@Mousse9 Yep. I was baffled, to say the least.
Man's so goated he
1. Has solid friends you can't buy
2. Sticks to logical thinking and reasoning
3. Sets boundaries of steel
Man... I wish I had friends like that, I'm not sure about it but I have a strong feeling my friends would fuck me over in a situation like this 😕
Man is an absolute chad
You mean something that should be considered normal
Not normal anymore though I guess
Man has ascended to a higher plane of existence
He's one of the dudes that actually respect themselves and avoid a relationship with toxic persons. We need more men like him
As someone who has been cheated on in the past, good on this dude for immediately breaking it off he deserved better and obviously this girl was too delusional to realize that
But she didn't cheat?
Indeed + also he already said two questions saying "are you joking?" Or "Are you serious" that girl shouldve think the consequences
@@nonono777 She was disrespectful. And she knew he doesn't like that. Would have left her dumbass too.
@@nonono777 she asked to cheat
@@nonono777 not that she admitted no. But most people won't admit to it either, I think what Ditzy meant though it's that it's a good thing the guy got out when he did because usually, not always, if someone waits until they're in a relationship for that long to even discuss the idea, they've already cheated or are going to do it whether or not the answer is no. It's a tactic to be seen as not guilty because they had "permission" or because they already feel guilty for their actions, whether they admit it or not. Again, not always, but a good chunk of the time
That guy is a boss. No games, no drama. Clear decisions and boundries. I love it.
Cheating isn't magically "ethical" because you rub it in your partner's face and bully them into staying with you despite the cheating.
I don't see her problem. He gave her the most open relationship possible
lmaooooo
Not open enough for her lmao
xD
Trueeee
Her problem is the loss of her personal wallet
What she says: "we've been an item for 5 years, and I know you're very monogamous, but do you think we could try an open relationship?"
What he hears: "I don't love you anymore. I want other men. But I still want some of your assets."
perfect!
More like the truth, because god damnit he’s right!
“I want to start another relationship but I need a backup plan in case it doesn't work”
That is NOT what he hears. That is WHAT SHE MEANS. What he hears is exactly what she says, 'She wants an open relationship'.
At that point, the guy has to realize what she really means.
other way to phrase what he hears: ''i wanna use you for your assets and/or money. but i also want to do that to other men, please!''
If my husband came home and suddenly wanted an open relationship, no matter what he said, I would assume he’s at least already found someone else. The trust would be gone and I would be devastated and feel betrayed. Even without the physical cheating yet, it would only be a matter of time at that point. I wouldn’t be able to see it any other way so I don’t blame this man at all for leaving immediately.
My problem is simple: SHE IS STILL NOT FEELING GUILTY of thinking of this. She could have been genuinely sorry and decide to focus only on him, but nope, she wanted to take the cake and eat it too.
Let's keep it a stack: if they ask for openness in an established monogamous relationship its one of two things
1: they've already cheated and want to alleviate their guilt
2: they were considering cheating but want to remove the sting of the label.
I could see someone young wanting to explore themself but you dont do that 5 years in.
100% you either bring it up before the relationship is official or never.
@@1stdragon123 Except that's how it works most of the time. Most open relationships didn't start that way at all
@@natasjailnyckyj2674 So they should leave you and not say why....?? Y'all sound like you never thought this through for 10 seconds
@@theewildrose yes. absolutely they should lol. they don't owe you anything after something like that.
Open relationships or polyamorus relationships need to be discussed AT THE BEGINNING of the relationship. Discuss it, set boundaries etc. If you ALREADY KNOW YOUR PARTNER IS MONOGAMOUS don't bring it up! Especially after you've been in a relationship for a while, that's going to destroy the relationship, ruin the trust, and make the involved parties upset. Just like how everything else is talked about before the relationship starts, the idea of polyamory or open relationships needs to be talked about at the same time. If you wait to mention it until you're years into a stable relationship it's going to to ruin it, and most of the time at that point, the one who suggested it has already cheated or will do it regardless. It's more often than not a tactic to seem like less of a shitty person when they've already done something horrible.
Agreed, its just like getting a permission to cheat like a cheat pass, if it was asked in the begining then itll be okay, BUT IF ITS 5 YEARS OR MORE THEN WTFF WHY U BROUGHT IT, SHE HAD A PERFECT LIFE AND SHE RUINED IT IN FEW SECONDS SHES A IDIOT
Let me stop your right there. Not at the beginning. YOU DISCUSS FUNDIMENTAL, RELATIONSHIP AFFECTING SHIT LIKE THAT BEFORE ENGAGING IN ONE.
So many relationships break apart and people get hurt because of this:
religion
kids or no kids
pets
poly mono
etc..
you need to have talked about that stuff
@@Daffodillon thank you, you're right. My wording was funky, I'll admit. By at the beginning I meant whenever y'all start discussing the idea of a relationship, but I can see where that can mean something else. Point still stands, these are ALL topics that need to be discussed before the relationship is started or official or any of that
Octavia and Dillon bring up good points.
@@octaviamelody1997 the "let me stop you right there" was a meme citation + my caps lock is for emphasis. No negative emotions against you (:
This happened to me years ago with my ex of just over 3 years. She asked me what I thought about having an open relationship and I told her I didn't like it and said I wouldn't accept an arrangement like that.
I learned my lesson a few months later when I found out on vacation together that she was smashing at least one other guy, which she denied. The evidence proved otherwise.
Lesson learned: do what the guy did in this reddit post, don't just give your opinion and let it go like me. There's a reason why she's asking and it's not good.
Our world seems to have gotten to the point that not wanting to be in an open relationship equals not being open minded. She honestly can't understand why this bothers him? And indirectly criticizes his reaction as "not being open minded" enough? My goodness. And her whole "He could have just said no" also shows how she lacks understanding. She can't seem to understand that one can't just say no and comfortably stay with a person who asked for an open relationship. The trust would be gone. Even if he trusts she won't act on her desires, he would still have to constantly wonder if she's unhappy or desires being with other men. You can't stay in a relationship with that on your mind. I really hope he doesn't cave and get back with her. Plenty of people are so blinded by love that they agree to such a thing despite not liking it.
Whether she realizes it or not, she insulted his manhood, either figuratively or literally. She said, twice, that he's good in bed, but, I wonder how true that is, if she's looking for other "Experiences". Makes me think she was going to try to check around before settling down with him, in both senses of the word.
It’s a slap in the face to the relationship. If your sleeping around your bound to get feeling for someone, happened to someone on my dads side of my family, then divorce, a ruined family, and more. If you don’t like your partner break up then you can sleep around. Though just sleeping with people for fun is dangerous/trashy as well. If I’m not ‘open’ then I don’t care. I want a loyal partner that will be with me through thick and thin.
This comment is spot on
@@guardian1234561 Agreed.
Based on the description of the guy, I imagine that he was reading a book with his legs crossed and when he said “are you serious?” He slightly glanced up from his book and when he leaves he closes his book and puts it under his arm
He grabbed his top hat before leaving out the front door.
And he's wearing a suit with a jacket that goes down to his ankles
i imagined him sitting at a table in a dim room with a candle, leaned forward with his arms on the table
I love this description of him
what a distinguished gentleman
I was cheated on twice. And both times my ex’s defense was “I thought we had an open relationship.” Despite me never agreeing to that bs. I really dislike this open relationship culture we got nowadays.
Agreed. Sometimes, I wish there would be laws to make adultery illegal.
Or the other phrasing, 'We never said we we're exclusive!'
I hate it too man. I got cheated on as well in my first relationship and the second one. We don't talk about the second one.
@@natebit8130No we really need too, our court system is setup so that the woman can go around sleeping with multiple men at a time and when the husband finds out she gets half his lifework and assets despite her being the culprit. We need to rework this stupid system and have cheating and affairs being completely illegal with heavy fines on the perpetrators and even heavier fines if its discovered the dude who did sleep with her was manipulating her into it. Now obviously if the husband/boyfriend is abusive that speaks for itself when it comes to action.
Ugh, I dealt with the SAME thing. I swear it stole a part of my heart and soul. Such a disgusting betrayal. I hope you're doing alright now.
I had a similar situation with my ex. She asked if we could have an open relationship. I said, "No. You're either with me fully or not at all." Then infidelity came about soon after. I don't know if it's true in all cases but if a partner asks they probably have someone on 'back burner' they want to screw or a precursor to being unfaithful. I learned my lesson the hard way.
Yep, always assume she's either cheating or she plan to do it. The moment she hints at other guys in the relationship, walk away without fear.
Once it’s being considered, the relationship is over.
If you are enough for each other, it’s not something that even crosses people’s minds.
Facts!
You can't expect someone who clearly prefers a monogamous relationship to be suddenly interested in polyamory, that's just messed up
You could expect him to engage in healthy discourse, she seems genuine. He's not obligated to but his reaction, while relatable and understandable, is quite immature
@@davepatois297 how is it quite immature to break up with someone who wishes to cheat on you while disguising it as an open relationship especially when you clearly prefer a monogamous relationship?
@@xrefed See, here you come with your preconceived notions. She's not disguising cheating by calling it an open relationship, she's discussing the possibility of an open relationship in good faith. That's not cheating. Preferring a monogamous relationship is his right, and frankly speaking I totally understand his decision. But she literally states that if that was his decision, she's have stuck by it. What's immature is walking away without discussing anything.
@@davepatois297 I mean better that he breaks it off right away then try to salvage a sinking ship. The fact that she wanted it and he didn’t meant that they were no longer compatible. There’s nothing to “discuss” because you can’t compromise on this, you either want it or you don’t, and he didn’t want it.
@@davepatois297 Didn't she state tho that he is a pretty traditional guy??? And that he doesn't like cheaters yet 5 years later she decides to bring up SLEEPING with other ppl😑 Like, it's obvious he saw his future with her and her alone while she even stated that she was CURIOUS about OTHER GUYS!!!! Yeahhhhhh, that seems like a cheater to me💀 Good thing he cut losses cuz good grief he deserves better.
I love how she paraphrases his opinion on girls who sleep around in a way that clearly proves he would never be ok with it, and yet she is still confused that he isn't ok with it.
yeah
Yeah it's clear that he meant: "You can sleep around, but not while you're with me. And dont pretend that it's not what you do."
Please continue with the zero mortals plan.
@@jman72898 yup zamasu was right
@@jman72898 please
I was with my boyfriend for 9 years before we got married. While I do consider this long, we knew we wanted to get married when our finaces allowed. I'm so happy and I would never EVER consider an open relationship! Even before we were married I knew I had a keeper, the least I could do was not mess it up and betray his trust in me. I'm going to say this because I love saying it so much: I LOVE MY HUSBAND!
in the future i hope i get a wife that talks good about me like you 😂
@@hussainalrafi2261 I hope you do too. Everyone deserves a partner who loves and respects them. It's an added bonus if they look at you like you're the world's most delicious pizza.
Wish I could like your comment 10,000 times, it’s that good
@@LeBronyaJames That's the best compliment I've ever gotten! Thank you!
Even as a stranger I can tell you're a genuinely sweet person. Whatever may come your way I hope you get through it 💖
Shes doesnt love him, she loves the idea of him.
No wonder he dropped her. She is the exact thing he's against. She's pretending to be innocent/acting like she doesn't know what she did wrong all the while listing the exact things she did wrong. The exact things he HATES in a partner, she is. It's like she went through the grocery list and checked everything before saying "I think that's everything, time to ask if it's ok to enter the next step of our relationship!"
Completely unrelated but absolutely based profile picture.
@@JhoJhoScalesandVs thanks
"I want to experiment" this term can go from playing football and Trying out chess to straight up cheating
You could say she wanted to sleep around and was acting innocent
My gf did the same, I hate when people act like innocent but then lie, just leave them, she deserved it for being not honest with me.
@@AmaryInkawult dang 11 years ancient dinosaur and the pfp represents that haha
Get it cause y'know?...yeah it's stupid now that I re-read it BUT I STICK TO MY COMMENT
Imagine you've done all you can to be a good partner for five years, thinking your girlfriend genuinely loved you and you did everything right...only for her to say "I wanna sleep with other guys"
Yeah and usually most guys be pissed maybe me too, but this guy just auto break the relationship aka "rip the bandage off"
@@willmationsccartstuff5138 guy is the definition of a giga chad
Edit: NO ONE LIKE THIS ITS AT 69 LIKES.
Also: Nice!
Man the woman had so much that she wanted more than perfect
I mean, I'm poly, so take that as it is, but you certainly can genuinely love someone and sleep with other people.
@@knowledge_leaf Bullshit. Polyamory is just cheating with extra steps
Now that's a man with some goddamn self respect.
What scares me the most is she said he hit every check box, he was perfect and she STILL wanted to sleep with other men. Not even the perfect guys are safe dude. As men, are we screwed?
Nah we're not screwed. We just gotta recognize these hoes and leave em to the streets when they show their true colours. No second chances. Besides, men gain value as we age, so u can always start over
Ngl, I’m going on a limb to say this was written by the guy from the girl’s perspective…
Or it didn’t happen at all and is just a scenario someone came up with as rage bait
I refuse to believe an actual person pointed out point by point in detail why they knew they’re being the a** in a situation
I’ve lost faith in post like these after I found out a lot of them (not all) are just rage bait and didn’t actually happen, and the ones that are real are usually from the person who didn’t want Pollys POV not the other way round.
The large majority of divorces are initiated by women. No you aren't safe. We are all screwed.
@@nathansteele4358cool but stop spamming
@@nathansteele4358 >I refuse to believe an actual person pointed out point by point in detail why they knew they’re being the a** in a situation
you severely underestimate how lacking in self awareness some people can be.
Imagine thinking cheating is normal
polyamours is a thing, if all people know and consent then it's not cheating
@@coutingonstatic that's okay. cheating is not. they are different.
@@coutingonstatic Open relationships don't even make any sense. It defeats the entire purpose of a relationship.
Cheating is crossing a boundary, doing something the other person looks at as cheating (for example some would consider flirting cheating, others would not). If he was okay with an open relationship, it wouldn't be cheating, and she just asked him if that's the case? What's wrong with that?
@@coutingonstatic that’s an excuse for cheating
A guy who's theoretically perfect in every aspect. To put it bluntly, he was the perfect partner. But alas, the woman wanted a bad boy who'd make her life full of drama. That was probably the one thing their relationship lacked, and the one thing she so desperately, subconsciously wanted... a romcom relationship. A shame.
Not even "probably". She said she was annoyed by the fact that they never fought.
@@MKDumas1981 A real shame.
@@sloth8866: Women are the ones who get bored. They need to have their emotions spiked. Men, not so much.
@@MKDumas1981 Up for debate tbh
@@sloth8866 : I’m willing to debate it, but I’ve never heard of a man ending a relationship just so his now
-ex would beg him to come back, or pick a fight for, literally, no reason at all.
By "I thought i could change his mind" she meant that she thought she could manipulate him for her benefit. I'm glad he didn't fall for it.
He handled it spectacularly. A direct and clean cut separation of a relationship that was no longer for him. Hope all parties involved get everything they deserve.
@@garry1089 they said deserve, not want.
That's an overreaction and not how to deal with relationships. You talk and figure out if you can make things work
Then if it's really unsalvageable you break up.
@@amuro9624 that wouldnt be healthy if breaking up was last resort
I think if they were to get what they deserve the girl would realize she made the mistake (which for the most part she seems to already know), and for the guy to forgive her and end up still loving her. She messed up and as long as she understands that she deserves a second chance
@@amuro9624 it's not an overreaction. The fact that she mentioned an open relationship 5 years after they've been dating are a red flag.
That girl doesn’t deserve that man, he’s a literal gigachad.
Fr fr
some bros would be gay for that man
@@colddelux8759 I agree
@@colddelux8759 i would be
A she-gigachad is who he needs
When she said she was serious, even if she explain she wouldn't do it if he wasn't okay, she would have cheated on him down the line.
The fact that she was sexualy intrested in other guys means that at some point, first occasion, first drama, she would have used that as an excuse to go party and bang the first guy looking attractive enough.
The guy wasted 5 years, but he didn't throw half his life and possessions in a divorce few years later.
Respect to this real man for making the best choice of his life in a split seconde.
if a girl asks her partner of several years to "open up the relationship" then in majority of cases she has already cheated on her partner with somebody else and is simply looking for an excuse to keep cheating with that other guy while still having her current partner as a safety blanket in case it doesn't work out with that other guy.
I feel so sorry for guys like him who are theoretically perfect in everything yet are not appreciated enough. I can't comprehend why on Earth she wanted to see others.
Because he wasn't dramatic.
She mentions how she did like his "no fighting" attitude at first.
She wanted to get him mad, maybe subconsciously but, she wanted him to scream and shout and let it all out so she could feel like a soap opera main character.
He was too perfect and she wanted a bad boy
@@nemesisalex9424 THIS!! THIS EXACTLY!!! Oh my goodness the fact people don't realize this is actually an issue with some women, they see things like Twilight, telenovelas, and other insane love dramas and instead of knowing it's crazy for drama- they see it as how romance should be and that's terrifying 😭
@@nemesisalex9424 hey look now she can leave her drama as much as she wanted.
@TBA sociopathic women need drama to live , like mindy kalling
I found it kind of amazing that a woman who wanted drama could stay with such a mentally stable man for 5 years, but then I realized that I think she liked having him as a "safety net" or an investment for the future. She likely knew that his stability would be useful when she was ready to settle down, get married, and start a family but she wasn't ready for that yet and thus wanted a way to get some adventure while still maintaining her "future", but then she was sorely surprised when the man valued his stability over her. Perhaps she thought that their love and his commitment to being with her for 5 years would be enough to convince him to let her experiment.
Girl: *says he’s traditional*
Girl: *says he hates cheaters*
Girl: *says they’ve already been together for years*
Girl: I don’t understand why he’s so upset! :(
Seriously, she couldn't link those together. It sounds like her IQ and her age are the same number
@@Flesh_Wizard ...I hope it isn't less than 23...
@@BeefBoiPhD 26
stupid move, obviously. But at least she asked and didn't go out cheating.
@@LittleSparklingStars yes because the man just go, if he say yes she definitely Will cheating.
Proposing an open relationship is the same thing as saying "I only like you because you provide for me but i dont actually like you for any other reason" in my book.
Plus i'll count it as an attempt to drag me into a sinful and honorless life.
I absolutely hate this level of mental gymnastics to justify behavior people know is destructive and bad. If u want to sleep around say and own it. But this ba reasoning of o "i just want new experiences", "i just want to find myselft" etc is absolutely ridiculous. Its just a way to discontect the action from the stigma when sometimes the stigma is there for a good reason.
If someone is asking for an open relationship, most of the time, they are already cheating or going to cheat in the near future, it really doesn't matter if their partner agrees with it or not
Agree
Well if partner agrees with it then how is it cheating
Isn't cheating supposed to happen behind partner's back, without any consent
@@Foxtrox7616 if partner agrees then they don't really give a shit in the first place
@@Foxtrox7616 if he agrees that just means he doesn't actually want to be in a relationship, like, if that happens to someone who was married, what was even the point of marriage in the first place?
@@VintageMemory polyamorous isn't even supposed to mean getting dicked by multiple people. It just means that you love and trust two people so much that you can't betray either of them and want to spend time with them. Love is supposed to be an emotion of its own not just the "making love to each other" sort. It's supposed to be caring for a person enough to put themself before you and feel very happy together. The sex part is just a stimulant for making having a kid desirable, that part is literally just your instincts preparing you to have a child with another person. We're just biological designed to do things that release the rewarding hormones. Two people can love each other madly and still never have sex their entire life. On the flipside, two people could be together only because the sex feels good. The first one is love and second is just lust. In my opinion, love is much more important in a relationship than lust, though lust can go a long way in strengthening love by keeping even the instincts locked into the person you love. Tl:Dr love≠sex, love important for relationship, lust helps maintain love but love can exist without lust
If someone is suggesting an open relationship, it’s quite possible that they are already involved with someone else.
True they just wanna cheat without being called a cheater.
They absolutely are. That's why they suggested it
At the very least, she had someone on the hook and was just wanted the green light. She probably had been at least emotionally cheating with someone at that point.
@@carlwinslow8165 if it was reversed, the people defending this woman would be quick to say he is a cheater and hang him on the stake real quick. Men cant catch a break 🤧
A true man doing exactly as true men should. My hat is off to this chap.
She was going insane because the guy that wasn't enough for her left her...makes no sense lol. Good on that guy and hope he finds a women that appreciates his loyalty
I had a friend who asked her boyfriend 2 weeks into the relationship if they could have an open relationship. He was on the fence, because he wanted to say no, but he was also obsessed with her enough to consider having an open relationship. But he told her no, and she still went out and cheated on him anyways. She's cheated on him a couple of times more over the last few years too. I didn't know until her boyfriend brought it up to the friend group just last year.
Me and her did everything together, we even ended up going to the same college. At the college, she met someone and slept with him multiple times. I noticed they would leave together and everything. She confronted me about having feelings for him and I told her that she should talk to her boyfriend first. But she didn't and ignored my advice. (On top of that, she guy she was cheating with, didn't know that she was already in a relationship. He said that if he had known he wouldn't have even glanced at her, because he's been cheated on and knows how it hurts.) And then it was brought to my attention even more when her boyfriend made the group chat. We all decided to call her out and cut her off. And her boyfriend broke up with her. She was toxic. She tried to make us feel guilty, saying stuff that was self-deprecating. It didn't work. She has no other friends so idk what she's doing now.
I managed to get with the guy she was cheating with and we're happy. So now she really has no one. Sometimes I feel bad, but then I remember, she did this to herself. She tried to keep it under wraps for YEARS.
Good for you, some people deserve a taste of their own medicine.
Pretty epic ngl
Interesting story haha, i hope the best for you two (:
Damn what a power move! Glad to see this story have a good ending.
ultimate revenge
Basically, this girl wanted to see if a new guy that she was attracted too would be a good replacement. Gentlemen, anytime a girl says she wants an "open relationship" it basically means she wants to try a new guy out but keep you around as a plan B in case it doesn't work out with the new one. She wants something different, but doesn't want to risk losing the comforts she has built with you. So basically you're being used for resources and nothing else. Any of you that fall for this are idiots.
100%
This
Doubt this will reach mentioned people, but i agree
As a woman I agree, and it’s dumb to do that to someone
You're not JUST being used for resources. That happens anyway.
But you aren't her first choice anymore, so you should probably choose someone else too, someone who values you the way you value them.
I had this once a few years back
My GF said she wanted an open relationship and I said let me think about it, I'll get back to you tomorrow. Take note that I had no idea what she was talking about so once I got home, I searched what it was online and immediately saw red flags everywhere so the next day I went to her house, her dad opened the door, she came down and I told her "Im breaking up with you" and left.
A few weeks later I saw her dad and he asked why I broke up with her, I told him what had happened and he agreed with me. No idea what happened after that
This guy is a chad. Huge respect for him.
From all of these stories, I have learned something about women asking for an open relationship. She has either already cheated and wants to clear her conscience, or she's lined everything up and is about to cheat the moment the guy agrees to an open relationship.
Please share links to such instances.
@DarrylEBerryJr they don't gotta, look up any instance of opening relationships and it'll always include that shit
@@dingleberry24096fr
@@DarrylEBerryJr
The most fampus one that comes to mind for me is ProJared
@@revolvingworld2676 Thanks!
I can ruin my relationship in less than 7 seconds. It’s called speedrunning.
ha, amateur
Top best speedruns in century XD
Those are rookie numbers
@@willmationsccartstuff5138 Indeed.
I would too, but the speedrun requires a previous relationship
Some years ago, I was with a woman for 3 years, and in our last year, she asked the same thing. So to get her back for even asking, I went with it. But I told her, "You need to be careful letting me off the leash." I dated/slept with almost 20 women that 3rd year. Had 3 - 3somes. She was getting turned down all the time. She thought it would be easy for her, when it was far easier for me. She couldn't handle it, and tried to accuse me of cheating. So I dumped her, and threw her out the first day she accused me. I won't take that. It was her idea. She actually said to me, "I can't believe you would do that to me." I told her it was easy, because I told all the other women about how she wanted to go outside our relationship, and they had no problem helping me rack up numbers just to get her back for asking in the first place. And I heard her last 2 men cheated on her. LOL.
Wow😂
can't imagine how many stds you have
Karma at it's finest.
Absolute PIMP… however I imagine that’s a great excuse to rack up numbers xD
a man can only imagine how many goddamn STDs this dude got
As a woman who is waiting for marriage, dayum this chick got me triggered. I know women who want multiple partners instead of having just one because they like the excitement of each dude, 'cause they're not the same person. I understand their choices (Translating to, I don't really care what you do with your sex life) because the ones participating with this know what to expect. This, a 5 year relationship, maybe the chick got confident because it has been years, maybe she thought her boyfriend would be comfortable enough to consider new things like this, so why not giving it a shot. I would think so if she had been smart instead of thinking with her libido. Five years gives you a lot of information about the person you're with, she even says the guy is monogamous, so she gotta be delusional if she didn't see this coming. She's the one overreacting. Im glad that guy is free, I hope he gets a break from women like her ex and have fun with his friends.
Ok let me get this straight, He's attractive,smart,calm, patient and avoids conflict and chooses to talk thing's over rather than choose violence as a solution(also decisive as fuck), an absolute 10/10
And she's mad that he left her because she basically said "so uhh hey I wanna fuck other men, that's fair right?"
She had it too good for too long. Took his kindness for weakness.
People are baffled as to how she didn’t see this coming when she asked that question. Simple. She’s just really dumb. Chick that stupid had to be pretty hot for a guy like that to want her.
I don’t get that if she wanted to fuck other guys she should be in her hoe phase rack 5 bodies to see what’s like THEN get into a relationship. Most people want a fix on their sex urges from many people to see what it is like but don’t want to lose their current relationship
1 out of 1000 men out there and she still wanted other options. Like wtf?
@@zabdielp58 More like 1 out of 40,000,000 roughly
She has no idea how many woman would die to have a guy like that in this day and age.
Right! Blows my mind how she just up an blew it! 🤯😵💫
Leave it to a woman to ruin a good thing.
she got bored sounds like
@@wargpug6084 Typical.
Blows my mind
9:04 F to pay respects. F in the chat boys. 😭
Open relationship is saying , I want to cheat on you, be ok with it and stick as my partner
You can’t just turn a serious monogamous relationship in an open one. It’s whether you discuss that at the beginning or you don’t even get involved (or you break up if the thought occurs later in the relationship).
The guy did the best thing, once that topic is brought up the relationship is pretty much over. Better ripping the bandaid off immediately and call it a day
Concise as ever. 100 percent agree
There is instances where a very monogamistic relationship can turn open, but the chances are relatively slim. If someone is clearly religiously monogamistic (or absurdly uptight for monogamy) then they'll most definitely not change their mind, so it's better to call the relationship quits since you both want a different kind of relationship.
It's so weird that we attach so much importance to sex
@@amuro9624 It's messed up that you're unable to control ur "animal instincts".
@@arandomguy9669 who's talking about not having control? You can have control on how much food you eat but if I have to only eat what my wife cooks it's just an unnecessary and pointless restriction. You don't get married only to get a wife that cooks for you just like you don't get married just to have sex. So why the limitations on that?
Those vague values that people are trying to pass as ultimate truths is why people get less and less married. People should get married because they love each other but everyone is telling newer generations that they should marry for financial stability or sexual exclusivity which are pretty pointless and unappealing to a lot of people in the current year. So why even do it? That's also why there's so many older people who hate their wife/husband or act like they're shackled to them. Would you rather have your partner being like a cage you cannot leave or a home where you will always come back?
My first gf also hit me with this, instead of being like the girl's gf I was shot to the extreme end of hatred. Hatred for open relationships, hatred for polyamory. I went from accepting of other people's choices to a guy that wishes cheating was illegal again.
Same. I fucking despise them to my most pure inner core.
I really think cheating while in a registered marriage should be a crime and punished by at least a year in jail. For both genders.
@@SidorovichGamingyear? No a lifetime
yea there was once a time cheaters were rejected by society, then pandoras box was opened and overall its shitty for everyone because now theres no incentive to have a meaningful faithful relationship.
Yeah people who cheats are the most scumbag type, like if you dont want to be with a person just be honest and say it, dont be a scumbag and hide it, it feels bad dude, but thats how people are sometimes.
The fact someone like this absolute king got put together with such a dumb and idiotic woman and stayed with it for 5 whole years until she crossed the line and putted his foot down shows how an absolute king he is and we should all be proud and inspired of his efforts of not being one of those people who just goes along with every dumb woman out there
Bro is so lucky he didn't marry her, otherwise she would've cheated on him and got 50% of his wealth for it
"An open relationship is basically asking permission to cheat" I couldn't have worded it better myself.
If you cheat, I can cheat with no consequences is basically what an open relationship is
Basically a lame excuse to justify cheating lol
its not but okay
@@snowlily22 yes it is
@@snowlily22 how isn't it?
I love how she acts like the victim of her "traditional" ex bf lol
Girls when their actions have consequences: 😱😱😱😭😭😭🤡🤡🤡
LOL
I hear more and more stories like this almost weekly. People are starting to use polygamy, open relationships and threesomes as excuses to cheat in a monogamous relationship and its sick. They honestly think its okay because, in their minds, its just "spicing things up". When in reality, its borderline cheating and, manipulation.
The amount of sex crazed people in this generation makes me physically sick. I think our society is falling apart anymore
If thats what someone wants to do then whats wrong with it?? As long as you ask your partner if they are also ok with it its no big deal and if they arent then it makes sense for the relationship to end as they simply want to live different lives.
Just let people be who they want to be I dont get what you guys are making such a fuzz about.
@@lonerevenant0 Oh, no someone has a different morale code than me! The absolute horror. Does not mean society is going to end over it. Like with every new generation its changing wether for better or for worse can everyone decide for themselve.
@@tristanellinghoven6717 ok have fun with your STDs
@@lonerevenant0 I am not sure how this is suppose to work since I have no interest in sex or relationships.
I don't get why she's so upset. He gave her exactly what she wanted. As a single woman she's free to sleep with whoever she wants.
Except him obviously.
@@aliamvickersfan2388Nor does this street urchin have the comfort of his home and money. She wanna be out on the streets she can go ahead and sleep on the streets too literally.
@@aliamvickersfan2388Well no shit dude. Are you slow??
can you imagine what she would say if he said "God, yes, it's good that you mentioned it, I thought about the same thing all the time!"
This applies to men and women; if your significant other asks for an open relationship, what they are really saying is that they want to cheat on you without you getting mad about it. Don’t put up with that.
There are a couple of billion people on earth, you can find someone who appreciates you.
If someone is in a monogamous relationship and proceeds to ask to open it up, most of the time they ALREADY have someone else lined up. I would've done the same as that guy, good on him.
Yup
For once I agree with you monokuma
To me, it's even worse if they don't have anyone in mind, which is highly unlikely. Cause this means that you don't fit their needs that much that they are willing to take the chances on something completely uncertain. This whole situation should always end how they ended here.
Respect for this guy. A real man. He was convinced of the seriousness of her intentions, did not discuss or dissuade her, made a decision and quietly left. Not 5 or 10 years of relationship is not worth a day of life with a person like her. Only with her idiotic thoughtless whim, she devalued 5 years of their relationship. If these 5 years meant nothing to her, then why would this guy care about them? Long and happy years to this man.
I think you're jumping to extremes here. I agree what the guy did was for the best, but make sure not to demonize people like this. That girl probably does genuinely love that guy, I mean they were together for 5 years, and there is a high chance she genuinely believes that if he said no that she wouldn't try it ever and wouldn't cheat. The reason he left is probably because, despite intentions now, who knows what this will turn into in 5 years? If she wanted it badly enough to even ask, that means that, in spite of genuinely loving him, she wants other men. Which means that the likelihood of her being unable to hold back someday and cheating on him is high, which is a deal breaker. Love, unfortunately, is often not enough to keep a long term relationship stable. I'm on the guy's side here, I'm just pointing out a misunderstanding I think a lot of people have when reading this. There is no "bad guy/girl" here, just people being people, and it's tragic all around. Everyone lost in this situation, and it sucks that it had to happen
"If these 5 years meant nothing to her, then why would this guy care about them?"
He clearly does care, and she clearly does too. Nobody wanted this outcome. She said one of the guy's friends asked her how she could do this to him, meaning he is definitely emotionally devastated because he's a human being not a robot or a faceless gigachad stereotype
@@erenjaeger9418 Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that she loves him, it doesn't matter what she or he cares about in this situation. Words will never replace actions. It doesn't matter how much she says she loves him. This is just an empty phrase, because her actions say otherwise. Relationships are not about "happiness", not about "love", it's about respect, sacrifice, morals and values. It is impossible to have a stable relationship with a person who does not respect you, who has other values. Her love meant nothing if she was capable of cheating on him. She loved him but didn't understand his feelings? Didn't understand what kind of pain he would experience? Didn't understand what he would have to go through? Whether she understood or not, she still decided to offer it to him. And do you know why? Because she's an insensitive piece of shit who knows what she's doing is wrong, but still asks about an open relationship. It is important for her to know not how her desire can affect their relationship, but the fact that he will be ready to forgive her, will not hold a grudge against her. "in spite of genuinely loving him, she wants other men". You don't seem to understand what the hell you wrote here. You can't say "genuinely loving" and "wanting others" in the same sentence. We don’t know much about the guy himself, so I didn’t judge him harshly. Like I said before, actions speak louder than words. The guy hearing this made the right decision and broke up with her. He realized that all these 5 years he was in a relationship with a pathetic weak piece of garbage who values his own desires more than their relationship. There is obviously a right side and a wrong side, the bad side and the good side. The girl is bad, the guy is good, period.
My ex wife of 4 years tried this. I told her we were getting a divorce and in preparing for court found instances where she had been cheating for 3 years with multiple guys.
These stories always go the same way
>Girl wants an open relationship
>Boy breaks up
>within 4 hours she moves in with her new boyfriend
Always the same. She already has a new relationship in secret
I think the fact that she's still trying to justify herself after all this and not realizing how much she hurt him after being together for *5 years* is the reason he stood up and left right then and there, hence the "are you joking?" part because of him being in complete disbelief. He did the right thing, I've come across lots of these type of people who do the most atrocious things, say the most devastating words and only apologize after for the sake of apologizing.
If the post was something like "I've made a huge mistake of hurting a person I love, how can I get him back?" And it would be about her actually realizing what she had done, I could see how people could give her the benefit of the doubt for the guy acting immature and leaving on the spot.
The fact that he did this, means that in contrary to her, he came to know what kind of person she is throughout the years. I even presume the relationship might not have been so ideal from his perspective, and this was the last straw.
I think so too. Legit, women DO NOT have great Role Models nowadays. Cardi B is literally the Female Version of Bill Cosby and GOT AWAY WITH IT.
False Accusations started increasing again after the Johnny Depp/Amber Turd trial.
And everything repeats.
There NEEDS to BE LAWS DAMN IT!
@@schizoidmeme5470At this point I'll take Sharia over this shit.
Nah i dont think this is about having role models, its about being conscious of your decisions, being empathetic to other people and thinking with your head. You dont need a role model for that.
Leaving at the point is probably the most mature thing you can do bc she already probably found some guys to do that “open relationship”
I imagine that if it was discussed at the beginning of the relationship, it wouldn't have ended in an immediate breakup. But 5 years into the relationship?! Imagine being like, "I know we're committed to each other, but I'd like to step away from commitment and share the body I've been committing to you for years. You're not enough." It HEAVILY implies that your partner hasn't been enough for you. And if he had said no, she probably would have cheated behind his back. She was planning on getting it on with someone else. So he nipped it in the bud and saved himself from a possible STI or greater heartbreak.
If it was discussed at the beginning, the relationship wouldn't have happened at all. He's very monogamous, so he wouldn't make an exception regardless of when the subject was brought up.
@@bigtime9597 I know, but it would have saved them 5 years. Either way, it should have been discussed earlier. Lol
The relationship wouldnt have begun in the first place
Imagine changing as a person over 5 years and being expected to say nothing
@@theewildrose There's a difference between "changing as a person" and suddenly wanting to sleep with other people in a committed relationship.
And even if we can classify this as "changing", the boyfriend still has every right to not like the change and leave.
Basically what she said in not so many words: "I have no respect for you. Already know you're very likely to say no to this. I've been thinking about having sex with other men but am such a lovely and gracious girlfriend I decided to let you know beforehand."
Him: "Writing on the wall... she's losing respect for me... has thoughts about other men... if I say no she'll just do it anyways behind my back as time goes on."
The fact she even had the balls to ask that question is beyond me.
I'm in a poly relationship, and in my experience it really has to be open from the start. I've watched others open their relationships and it usually falls apart pretty fast.
Even people in non-monogamous relationships know most people aren't actually fit for open relationships. Yet people hear "oh, I get to eat both the cake and the pie!?" and they run with that. With no awareness that Pandora's box is about to be opened. That's not the kid of question you can just take back or forget about. You're bringing into question the very foundation of the relation, and suggesting said foundation is not compatible with you. It's honestly so brain dead. And the fact she was already think of other guys in that way to the extent of trying to change her relationship is a huge red flag. It's good the dude got out.
exactly
disagreed, people are mostly only fit for closed relatonships if they had open ones and over time learned to not fuck up. how you can call someone a partner that doesnt know that they want you because they overcame the urge to go by hormones or to choose someone else.
@@chillero3heftig712 “ people can only be in closed relationships if they fucked around first “ 😂😂😂😂 bro get your degeneracy and dump it somewhere else
@@lasthope3237 if you take an idealist you deserve 100% of the problems youll get
@@chillero3heftig712 I guess you are on to something over there but then again I feel some people just prefer to be monogamous
Honestly, lets give the man's friends for being a just a genuine friend and just hard spitting facts on the woman. And instead of just laughing it off, supported him and also defended him from her. Not allowing her or even telling her where he is.
I judge people in open relationships. The one who asked for it is a degenerate, and the one who agreed is pathetic.
The most important thing guys need to know about this subject is this:
If she asks you for an open relationship, you're already in one. You just don't know about it.
Sounds like the guy knew this.
This is the norm for reddit posts. Married couples where females asked for open relationships, husbands reluctantly agreed. The wives slept around while the husbands found the woman of their live, divorced and the wives wanted them back. Surprised pikachu face
I recently saw a Reddit post talking about how a husband pressured his wife into an open relationship but then got upset when she was sleeping with someone else.
The story is probably fake. We all know Redditors don't form relationships 🗿
Almost guaranteed if the woman is over 30 too
I've seen this happen slot with men to.. I wish people would stop saying one gender did something only. It's clear we both do
@@crowfoot8059 average predditor lol
If she asks for an open relationship, she is either already cheating or wants to cheat without feeling guilty and she believes you won't be able to find someone else as she views you as a mere beta because if she thought you could actually get with other women, she wouldn't have asked for an open relationship in the first place.
Dude dodged a MAJOR bullet breaking up with her. She would've %1000 cheated.
This happened to me today. My ex bf of one year(this was our anniversary week) brought up the idea and I immediately ended the relationship. If you are so desperate to get laid with other people, just leave the relationship, don't try to disguise it as something beautiful, because it is not, it's cheating.
the type of person to want to do that is the type of person to get revenge on you by cheating
The girl in the video wasn't desperate, she wanted to open her boyfriend about the idea and said she would have been fine with it if her boyfriend was uncomfortable with the idea. Though, asking for a poly relationship with a guy who she knew was traditionally oriented is a dumb idea.
@@zototheo2580 just asking is enough to tell me one is desperate for more to be honest
If not, why even ask? By then you are just setting up your relationship to fail
@@stownjam Oof, sorry that happened. Hopefully you find someone that suits your needs.
@@zototheo2580 It's not about being traditionally oriented. In fact polygamy has always been a concept used by humans and has also been a tradition itself.
It's the fact that she asked to have a polygamous relationship after establishing a monogamous relationship.
10:11 LMAO, even in the end, she still didn’t understand what she did wrong. Congrats to the dude for leaving.
Notice how she went from "I did something stupid and i wish he can forgive me" to "I don't know what is wrong with him"
"I want an open relationship" + 👓 = "I want to cheat with consent"
The relationship is already ruined because even if the guy says no and stays with her he’ll be stressed about everything around her thinking “am I not good enough” or being suspicious that she is just cheating
If a girl asks for an open relationship, SHE'S BEEN DM'ING OTHER GUYS. She's already chatting those other guys up and proven she's unfaithful
Yup the only reason she is fine with him sleeping around is because she already has a football team of dudes lined up.
@@Wumbology378 If this comment section is anything to go by, there's no such thing as "she being fine with him sleeping around". A lot of people talking about how it ended up being a "scam".
@@EdyAlbertoMSGT3 Because often it's exactly like this. Women know full well they have far more option than most guys and take advantage of it. But if by chance you score an hot girl, a potential threat to her, be assured she'll let you know she's not okay with it.
I hate it when people say ,,I wanted to open his/her mind to something different" it's just, the most manipulative shit. I've been in a few situations where my partner or friend would try to warm me up to something that I'm not into and try to convince me to change my opinion, It reeks of gaslighting and toxicity.
its especially bad when its trying to change someone's moral character or used to pressure people into certain sexual acts that they wouldn't otherwise engage in
@@bigbrexitdad879
And the worst part is those people see themselves as some ,,saviors" or ,,bringers of light" they see themselves as superior I guess and they try to ,,inlighten" you but they don't take your opinion or feelings into consideration, it's sush narcissism.
@@natasapap7936 those types exist for only themselves and its horrid the effects they have on others
@@bigbrexitdad879
Exactly, they are manipulative, toxic and should be stayed away from. I almost got into a relationship with one luckily for me he passed me off and I was able to see him for what he is in time so I managed to dodge a bullet.
@@natasapap7936 that's good that you dodged that. I dodged a girl a few years ago who used the whole looking cute and harmless thing to pass off being unstable and emotionally manipulative so I understand your relief
Asking for an open relationship is like asking to sign a non-disclosure agreement with planet earth....
This dude doesn't need f's in chat. He needs w's.
As a polyamorous person, you gotta make sure you let any partner know at the very start that youre poly/wanting an open relationship, NOT 5 YEARS. Its not fair to the person you supposedly love if you hold off that information for years. Monogamous people dont want their partner to see other people, and most poly people dont want to be w a mono person cuz the lifestyle differences. W on the bfs part. Girl was definitely just trying to cheat without it being "actual cheating." Poly people dont claim her
more people should know this.
Excellent argument.
aye, the make-or-break must always be mentioned BEFORE starting a relationship. That way, you can make sure there are no regrets.
Poly relationship are just a bad idea it seems like an excuse to cheat
@@TrafficCone982 ik thats what it seems like to monogamos people, but its far from it. polyamorous people love to love. we want to be able to feel romantically/sexally connected to whoever our hearts lead us to, even if its multiple people at once. the difference between polyamory and cheating is communication. poly people state their boundaries and tell each other about people they meet/like/wanna have sex with. if communication isnt involved, its not polyamory, its cheating. hope this helps you to understand a bit more!
"He made it clear he didn't like cheating, so I don't understand why he broke up with me when I asked for a open relationship"
Girl, he made it clear from the start that he wants a exclusive relationship. You asking for a open relationship means that you clearly don't, so he did the mature and responsible thing, by freeing your relationship, because he clearly couldn't provide the type of relationship you wanted, and you certainly wouldn't provide him the relationship he wanted.
ITS Not cheating If both Sides are OK with their Partner having Sex with Others.
How ist IT cheating If you ASK beforehand ist IT ok for you?
@@kowikowi8718Open relationship is like asking your partner if you can cheat on them
@@kowikowi8718
She has already taken an interest in someone else before asking. She stated this.
Boyfriend wanted commitment and exclusivity, she wanted to sleep with said interest and was only asking for permission by opening the relationship.
She screwed up a perfectly fine 5 year relationship.
@@AylosDN Even if she retracted it or said it was a joke, damage is done, she clearly wanted to try out some other brands of joystick prior to asking, if she hadn't already and wanted retrospective permission.
If your wife or gf is even thinking about another man's tummy tickler, that means she's not thinking about yours and that's all the red flag you need.
@@LiftingLimey
Yeah we agree