Okay, now I completely watched all your 4 videos on this book 😅 thank you for your interpretation? … in what the author was trying to tell us. It’s bizarr: a handbook for adult autistic people, that needs an extra explanation FOR the autistic people to understand and maybe adapt one or two points. The author tried, but probably most late diagnosed adult females (not because this would matter, but the female socialisation indeed is different and leads to heavier masking, imho) don’t need much explanation on why neurotypicals value eye contact or “talking through a shut- or meltdown” (what a neurotypical idea 🙄). We know, we had to learn that stuff over and over again. Also the given examples are pretty ideal situations - not the real world. Bosses telling me “that does not need any clarification - just do it” and friends ghosting me after I asked them nicely to be more clear (not a friend after all, I GUESS). Sure, anecdotal evidence is not worth much - I just feel like lots of authors glaze over the harsh reality of being autistic in a non autistic world. On a more positive note: I really loved “Unmasking Autism” by Dr. Devon Price and also “Different, Not Less” by Chloé Hayden - in case there are still autistic folks out there who didn’t read them.
@@FreiesRadikales thank you for watching! Yes i find that the author thinks we haven't tried all these things out when most of us reading are high masking as we are late diagnosed. And yes the real world is often not as understanding as the author makes it seem. Yes i loved Unmasking Autism, i haven't read Chloe Hayden's book yet but it is on my TBR list! 😊
I can’t do eye contact for more than a few seconds. Like 5 seconds at most. So all give the other person 1 to 5 seconds then 10 to 30 seconds looking around. Even with my friend of 18 years. I can’t even look anywhere on their face either. Some say to look at the mouth or nose. But that also feels weird and takes my full attention to maintain. I’ve never brought it up to anyone and nobody has ever said anything to me about it. So I’m not sure what to think. I’d probably only say something if they asked me about it. I’ve always felt a need to smile for others approval. I never considered why. I still don’t mind keeping interactions friendly and positive by offering a smile. But I’m going to be more aware of if why I’m doing it now. It’s definitely a masking thing for me. At my old job my boss and sales guys knew when I was the forman because I’d call, text and email them multiple times a day asking questions/ clarifying concerns. It was super critical we knew exactly what we were doing. And every job was unique. I really like email in particular. It helped me keep records. And I used them to hold everyone accountable and limit the blame game of who said what. I found calls/ emails easier because they were strictly business. It wasn’t about me or anything other than the task at hand. Which I genuinely was pretty confident in after a few years experience. So I was comfortable and liked using my voice in that regard. I agree with time being very helpful for a shutdown. A quiet place I can be alone for a few minutes or hours is good. When I was younger taking comfort in someone’s presence I was really comfortable with also helped. But not in a let’s fix it kinda way. But a it’s ok don’t worry way. If that makes sense.
Hi Ingrid, I guess for Erik maybe he's not just a teacher but a PhD supervisor 😅 Let's say you trust some people on the internet:) I guess I didn't tell you before but I find that you have the ability to convey the message properly in a good way and that's nice to listen too. I guess the author is somehow in a superposition state of understanding and not understanding 😅 I've watched a lot of videos of autistic people and read articles and it really seemed that somehow her examples can be really far from the truth as it's like the name suggests " the person is shutdown " is not like " the person is in rest mode " . I guess it's also applicable with people struggling with mental health, you can't just tell the person" go have a walk or simply go outside " sometimes it's necessary to take time to " feel bad" Thanks for sharing.
@@sicparvismagna1294 thank you 😊 haha yes Erik is a uni professor so he probably is a PhD supervisor too 😅 i guess the author is hit or miss with her claims 😅 In swedish there is no word for shutdowns so i am glad she talks about them at all. She uses the expression "getting stuck" or "locking yourself in" which is kind of the feeling you get when a shutdown comes. So the terminology doesn't concern me too much, but her way of approaching it as something to quickly "fix" is showing how little she understands.
@radishraven9 you are welcome 😊 Ah I knew it! Talking about thesis and articles is very typical of a PhD supervisor. That's a nice analogy you made. I like it. Oh interesting ! I don't if shutdown exists in other languages. Indeed terminology is just a mean not a goal. I guess there's still some effort to be made by authors to understand autistic people and I guess the same can be said about other struggles.
Okay, now I completely watched all your 4 videos on this book 😅 thank you for your interpretation? … in what the author was trying to tell us. It’s bizarr: a handbook for adult autistic people, that needs an extra explanation FOR the autistic people to understand and maybe adapt one or two points. The author tried, but probably most late diagnosed adult females (not because this would matter, but the female socialisation indeed is different and leads to heavier masking, imho) don’t need much explanation on why neurotypicals value eye contact or “talking through a shut- or meltdown” (what a neurotypical idea 🙄). We know, we had to learn that stuff over and over again. Also the given examples are pretty ideal situations - not the real world. Bosses telling me “that does not need any clarification - just do it” and friends ghosting me after I asked them nicely to be more clear (not a friend after all, I GUESS). Sure, anecdotal evidence is not worth much - I just feel like lots of authors glaze over the harsh reality of being autistic in a non autistic world.
On a more positive note: I really loved “Unmasking Autism” by Dr. Devon Price and also “Different, Not Less” by Chloé Hayden - in case there are still autistic folks out there who didn’t read them.
@@FreiesRadikales thank you for watching! Yes i find that the author thinks we haven't tried all these things out when most of us reading are high masking as we are late diagnosed. And yes the real world is often not as understanding as the author makes it seem.
Yes i loved Unmasking Autism, i haven't read Chloe Hayden's book yet but it is on my TBR list! 😊
I can’t do eye contact for more than a few seconds. Like 5 seconds at most. So all give the other person 1 to 5 seconds then 10 to 30 seconds looking around. Even with my friend of 18 years. I can’t even look anywhere on their face either. Some say to look at the mouth or nose. But that also feels weird and takes my full attention to maintain. I’ve never brought it up to anyone and nobody has ever said anything to me about it. So I’m not sure what to think. I’d probably only say something if they asked me about it.
I’ve always felt a need to smile for others approval. I never considered why. I still don’t mind keeping interactions friendly and positive by offering a smile. But I’m going to be more aware of if why I’m doing it now. It’s definitely a masking thing for me.
At my old job my boss and sales guys knew when I was the forman because I’d call, text and email them multiple times a day asking questions/ clarifying concerns. It was super critical we knew exactly what we were doing. And every job was unique. I really like email in particular. It helped me keep records. And I used them to hold everyone accountable and limit the blame game of who said what. I found calls/ emails easier because they were strictly business. It wasn’t about me or anything other than the task at hand. Which I genuinely was pretty confident in after a few years experience. So I was comfortable and liked using my voice in that regard.
I agree with time being very helpful for a shutdown. A quiet place I can be alone for a few minutes or hours is good. When I was younger taking comfort in someone’s presence I was really comfortable with also helped. But not in a let’s fix it kinda way. But a it’s ok don’t worry way. If that makes sense.
Hi Ingrid,
I guess for Erik maybe he's not just a teacher but a PhD supervisor 😅
Let's say you trust some people on the internet:)
I guess I didn't tell you before but I find that you have the ability to convey the message properly in a good way and that's nice to listen too.
I guess the author is somehow in a superposition state of understanding and not understanding 😅
I've watched a lot of videos of autistic people and read articles and it really seemed that somehow her examples can be really far from the truth as it's like the name suggests " the person is shutdown " is not like " the person is in rest mode " . I guess it's also applicable with people struggling with mental health, you can't just tell the person" go have a walk or simply go outside " sometimes it's necessary to take time to " feel bad"
Thanks for sharing.
@@sicparvismagna1294 thank you 😊 haha yes Erik is a uni professor so he probably is a PhD supervisor too 😅 i guess the author is hit or miss with her claims 😅
In swedish there is no word for shutdowns so i am glad she talks about them at all. She uses the expression "getting stuck" or "locking yourself in" which is kind of the feeling you get when a shutdown comes. So the terminology doesn't concern me too much, but her way of approaching it as something to quickly "fix" is showing how little she understands.
@radishraven9 you are welcome 😊
Ah I knew it! Talking about thesis and articles is very typical of a PhD supervisor.
That's a nice analogy you made. I like it.
Oh interesting ! I don't if shutdown exists in other languages. Indeed terminology is just a mean not a goal. I guess there's still some effort to be made by authors to understand autistic people and I guess the same can be said about other struggles.