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I have autism and even when i have alot of friends i still dont like to see them in their eyes when in a conversation now im worried if my future gf would see me as uninterested cus i dont admire her or something like you know see her eyes and she thinks i care for her
I was codependent on my ex mainly because it was my first romantic relationship so it was new and exciting, but after awhile we broke up. So I’m trying not to get as easily excited when bonding with someone new
I've had this happen platonically before. Codependent relationships can feel absolutely incredible, loving, all-encompassing and satisfying, but when there's conflict or long-term separation it shifts to anxiety, desperation, and crushing pain. Codependency is a poison that's super hard to get sober from, but it's more than worth it. Remember, you are whole on your own and complete just as you are.
yeah mate, had the same as well. we were like the closest friends you can imagine for half a year and then it all ended in the span of like 30 minutes over (what seems to me to be) a minor issue. I was basically dead for 3 months after that
Definitely... And when 'both' are co-dependent for a time? It feels absolutely euphoric... But inevitably, one will change and become less dependent. Circumstances change etc. And it feels amazing, right until it doesn't. I never even realised how I felt until she was forcing herself to distance because it was becoming unhealthy. The moment she wasn't around 24/7? I haven't felt so low in a very, very long time. And hell, that was after a few months... I didn't even feel so bad when my near 20 year marriage broke down, it feels absolutely dreadful.
I tell myself I know what's coming when I get this feeling...yet it still happens even if I'm distractong myself with my hobbies...I want to share what I'm doing with my online friends....
As someone who’s continuing to experience loneliness and depression, (along with other overwhelming aspects like school, work, etc), I’ve noticed that i really only enjoy having engaging conversations with coworkers and hanging out with a friend (which are both also rare due to different work schedules) and when I’m on my own it’s very much not so nice, so ive noticed that I am susceptible to becoming very codependent towards someone especially whenever I get into a relationship. I just have to be very mindful of myself and others who might try and take advantage of my situation, which will be difficult !
I'm in the same boat, and I'm now trying to find things that I can enjoy by myself so that I still feel meaning when I'm alone. It's hard but hopefully worth it
This has been such a big help, I've been going through a bit of a depression and have self esteem issues. Me and my girlfriend are still traversing our relationship, and it's been difficult to find the distinction between valid needs vs being overly needy. But I feel like I've progressively corrected bad habits, and we're both learning and growing together.
Thanks or sharing your struggle with us. Could you tell us more about what you mean by "traversing" your relationship? How have you two been navigating your relationsihp together?
@@Psych2go First of all, I have to say how amazing and caring she is, and how much I cherish being with her. It is our first relationship, so naturally there is a lot of of unknowns. Each relationship has its own unique dynamic, and each person their own needs. We both very much so care about one another, and love being expressive and open with each other. In this case, I became a bit too emotionally dependent on her because a lot of things were going on with me. So a lot of my stresses that weren't relating to the relationship kind of all jumbled all together, and I accidentally was putting too much on her while I frivolously worried about all these different stressors. However, I've been talking with her some already about it, and this helped give me some clarity and confidence that I get I needed. We've had other conversations with each other, and we do our best to work through the relationship step by step acknowledging eachothers' feelings, and working towards healing and growing together. :D
@@Psych2go She truly is a sweetheart, and so understanding and compassionate. For all of our flaws, I'm confident because no matter how tough things have gotten, we end up with eachother working through our problems respectfully. Together. 🙂
@@Psych2go And where are my manners, of course! I'm glad I got to share a piece of my mind and heart with you. :D If you'd be interested in me further explaining any detail that I may have missed, let me know and I'll be sure to give my best recollection. 😉😄
I just met someone 2 days ago, and we had a blast talking and I already started getting attached to her over her personality which is fun to talk to. That was 2 days ago, and now, she just, disappears. Ghosted me like 2 days was never happened. I didn't know I can get attached in just 2 days and got hurt that quickly. I think my emotion itself is unstable.
Very similar with me but she hadn’t got over her previous six-months-of-toxicity-at-the-end-of-a-two-year-relationship which is understandable and she’s not dating rn and she has really slowed down talking and it’s taken it’s toll
Timestamps 1). Two is better than one 0:41 2). O to 100 in 0.5 seconds 1:55 3). Monkey see, monkey be you 2:39 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
“Not having children derives not from dislike, but from love too great to bring them into this world, too limited, too vain, too cruel.” ― Michel Onfray ❤
People choose to not have children because they like children. Does that mean people who have children don't like children? How can I make this clearer?
"Passionate love is like a flame that burns very hot, but that cannot burn for very long. It is based on fear and hope and fantasy. It is imbued with desire, and it reinforces personal insecurity and personal neediness. This is the love experience that so many people are pursuing in life at great expense, but it is not an experience that can lead to a really successful relationship in most cases. What you are looking for is an experience of recognition-a deep, quiet, powerful experience." *Love and Relationships, The New Message from God*
Not a child, but abandonment. People who understand responsibility will be more cautious & control themselves better. Without a child, there's no future in humanity.
Nah cuz like I’m literally going through this rn 😭 Thank you for making this video. I already noticed I did some of these things in my relationship with my girlfriend, but this all but confirmed that I’ve been getting too attached. The codependency where I can’t be happy without her especially rang true. I’m trying to fix this though, before it puts any strain on our relationship.
Your commitment to improving yourself and your relationship is a positive sign, and it's likely to strengthen your bond in the long run. Keep up the effort, and I wish you both the best in your journey together!💙
if you guys did not do a video about the different between attachment and love yet, I suggested doing it because nobody wanted what happened to Anakin Skywalker to happened to anyone.
I came here reluctantly, expecting to check every box again as I once did ten years ago... But was happily surprised to not relate to almost all of the pointers. I find myself tending to hobbies and personal projects when my partner is away, and even enjoy the "me" time with some music and art. This used to be such a stigma for me before, but to be frank, my ex wasn't faithful. So I got paranoid. My current partner taught me to be interdependent, and we're both in such a calm passage. We do have our occasional disagreements, but everything can be talked over and addressed. It's truly blissful when you learn to love yourself and are blessed with an equally loving partner. The old scars are still there, but you learn to take one step at the time, in the right direction. Thank you for this video!
Sounds like someone I know. They changed their entire fashion sense and personality just for this one person and only respond to them and ignore everyone else. I feel at that point it gets toxic
This came around at the perfect time. I started dating my best friend of 3 years and we both had feelings for two. So when we're apart i do feel sorrow but then i realise its because of past trauma and attachment issues. She really means the world to me.
As someone who tried to be attached to someone in the past, I can see why it’s important. Luckily, I stopped myself from doing so when it was necessary.
I feel like the universe has been teaching me this very lesson for the last several months. I met someone at the beginning of this year, 2023, and I have definitely found myself unhappy and very clingy whenever my person of interest isn’t around, or we don’t talk as much as we used to, and as much as I’d like (some of this is because of some family issues recently). There have been some heated debates about these things lately, but I understand it’s all because I’m too attached and can’t let myself be happy without my partner around. I’m in the process of getting some professional help because it is very difficult at times to not feel like I’m being abandoned or rejected 🥺
I might be too attached to someone but it feels so real. Same personalities, same way of thinking, same a lot of things. I met her in Church so it feels like God is bringing us together. I thought I heard God say don't give up on her. I had a million other signs too. I'm still in control. I asked her out and she said I'll let you know, which could be good or bad. I'm happy to take a step back and wait for her answer and if it's no just stay away from her. Don't be so kind and attentive. But I think she likes the validation so she's feeding my addiction.
... I feel 1 and 3 apply to my previous partner. He was wanting to be with me every moment that he could, but I started needing alone time because of how badly my parents were trashing me. Anhedonia start rising, so I asked if we could go back to being friends while I worked on getting counselling. That caused a backlash up to him sending a pic of my handwritten letters and art torn to pieces, but then still flipping back to wishing we could stay as friends. Before all of this, I had the best experience of my life with him, so I do miss that. Having him become so dependent on me was scary, though, and helped me want to live on my own before trying living with someone else. That upset him as well and had him say he would look for a "real girlfriend" instead of me.
You have a constant worry about your partner being too friendly with friends. You also don’t want to be controlling so you sit on those feelings. It’s really hard when they’re super busy and barely text let alone call.
My girlfriend literally says the same thing. What you and my girlfriend need to do is to find things on your own to do as well. Maybe do something to distract you. That's why hobbies are important. We aren't being mysterious we just want to maximize our time with our friends.
I wish I could have found this video when I was a teenager or young adult. I'm in my 30's now, but to anyone who's still dealing with similar situations, make sure that you're taking care of yourself before you enter any sort of love relationship.
I have come to realize I have borderline stalkerish tendencies and my feelings for someone will become an outright obsession the longer I know them. And worse yet, I feel this way whether they like me back... or not. I was pretty oblivious to it until one day REMs 'Losing my Religion' came on the radio and the lyrics hit me square on the nose. Never did I imagine that my hopleless romanticism would be ve what drove me insane, but my lack of self awareness is killing me.
i had a best friend who got way too attached and it wasn't fun... in some cases (mine) they become too clingy and need to know where you are 24/7 they act like its a big deal you didn't have time to talk to them for a day or two they told me they could never feel happy if I wasn't with them, which makes you feel REALLY uncomfortable idk its just not what everyone makes it out to be.
Attachments themselves aren't necessarily a bad thing - all human relationships are a form of attachment. Hell, even having a pet is a form of attachment. It's when that attachment becomes all-consuming that it becomes a problem. If you love being with someone and miss them when you're not together, that's normal. If you literally CANNOT function and check their socials every few minutes and obsess about what they might be doing and thinking that very minute and haven't gotten a response to the text you sent 10 minutes ago so they must be mad at you oh god what did you do are they with someone else now do they even like you anymore why won't they text back WHERE ARE THEY.....that's a serious problem. It opens the relationship up to abuse, whether it's emotional or mental, intentional or not, co-dependency tips the balance of responsibility to one person and that's incredibly unhealthy. A relationship partner should supplement your life, not replace it - they should become an important part of your life, not become your entire life. The cliche of "the sun and stars revolve around you" sounds lovely in a poem or a novel, but when someone makes you the centre of their entire universe, it's genuinely exhausting. I was in a 7-year relationship with a guy who had barely any friends, didn't socialize, just stayed at home and waited for me, and made me a goddess on a pedestal that his entire being revolved around. The last part sounds good, right? It wasn't. After a while, you start to feel more like a possession, like an object of desire, than a person with their own life, and it becomes soul-crushing to constantly *constantly* CONSTANTLY provide entertainment, comfort, support, affection, and attention to a single human being. It's like taking care of a newborn, they're completely adrift without you and it's stressful and exhausting.
I want a video on how to get over a crush you see often, like it can be a school crush or anything. One of the most important tips this channel had delivered is to cut ties and contract in social media, mobile etc. But I already do not stalk their profile on mobile and am still in the same simping condition even if I try to avoid it. I just wanna be a cool person who moves around without a crush but everytime I see that one "Person" I just melt. Then what to do?
I really needed this I have a best friend who I love more than anything, but my last friendship left me with some unhealthy attachment habits. How do I work to overcome these? I really don't want to hurt them in the long term
I am certain I used to be super attached to my bestie. I eventually when we had time apart I got to finnaly work on myself and improve myself to be better. I feel alot better about myself now. But I still feel a part of me still gets so anxious around her that I get wierd feelings and thoughts.
@@kurthanke5788 not wierd in a bad way, how do I say it. Uhh in the good way. Like I throw up from being too much around her cause of catching butterflies, or being too worried about her. She's a very good person to me know her for a long time.
@@thecorrupted3217I feel you, you could try to meet new people (easier said than done), or maybe realize her as a platonic love and continue your way, if you are destined to be together you will be, and if not, the best thing you can do is being fine with yourself This comes from an INFJ that forgets to eat or sleep if someone needs help, but ends up empty when it comes to itself.
@@pax1217 i done that for a long time. I always helped people out of there worsts. I think my attachment is strong cause she was the only person who tried her hardest to help me and even her family tried there best. They were a major part of who I am today and I am proud of myself for getting this far. They were there always and she was by my side. So I owe alot to her. She is just well amazing. Can't express her in words it will be too much. Shes already in a relationship so I support her. Even tho I will always care about her. I support her. Also she is kinda my ex. But we had nothing bad happen. We just kinda lost feelings between us. I don't mind being on my own. I am learning how to improve daily for myself and on how to help others as well. She's already in a relationship so I support her for that. She is just that special to me. Could never be upset at her. She's a very kind person
I think I am struggling with this so bad, because I never really had any close friend until I met someone that I really felt I could be myself with. Because I was so attached to this person I never wanted to lose them and looked away and forgave them so many times when they hurted me or betrayed me. I always knew that i was too attached to them but I didn't have anybody else and I am struggling very badly with feeling lonely. It was until this summer that they left me again when I needed them the most that i managed to find more friends. A group of lovely people and it is thanks to them I could finally let the person go and move on but also to focus more on myself to heal but also understand my worth too. It is hard of course. I miss them a lot, but one of the most important step I could do after this been a big problem for 2-3 years.
I'm in the process of changing jobs and that i can't talk to a specific person about it is eating at me. I really miss her, but she chose to be with someone else and i respect that as best i can :/
I'm strongly codependent once I commit myself to friendships like when I decide 'hey this person matters to me'. I always try to respect their space and wait for them to initiate interactions half the time but dead air is killing me. But then I always transition to interdependent as time goes by like maybe 6 months (takes longer if they're also clingy). Am I anxiously attached or securely attached or?
Dead air is killing me too. The waiting for interactions , it rarely happens. So I try to focus on the things I like to make my days better. I've learned doing it, now I don't get hurt like before. It took time. But it's okay, I am fine on own.
I go back and forth in phases of being codependent and interdependent. Like sometimes I feel very codependent because of a lack of romance in my life but a lot of the times I am interdependent.
Well done you gained a very rare sub +1 PS: thank you for all your videos i was able to call an SOS to peoples around me (its fake i need help.) Great vids!
i enjoy being like this, like its a burning and tiring feeling when im not around that person but it all disappeares when im with that person so its okay :3
I have a really powerful crush on someone, but even knowing there already in a relationship, and wasn’t interested in me before they had one. I still have an unhealthy obsession, and the sight of them can give me a lot of negative anxiety, what can I do to fix this?
I notice this kind of behaviour with my gf from the beginning. I thought I can change it. But no. Having a partner like this is draining, physically and mentally. I'm so damn tired hearing that she needed me, only to complaining about things that I working so hard to fixed it myself. I'm so tired to give her my love, only to get nothing in return. I realized that she need to heal first, because it hurt your partner in many ways that you don't even realize.
Hello, I know you might not see this, but I just want to ask how you're doing? Thank you for creating these videos, they really help. I wish you all the best and hoping that you are feeling ok
i get too attached to friends, and then something happens, we arent friends anymore, problems, depression. that happened to me recently, and it wasnt my first time.
These videos are really helping me A LOT THESE days and I APPRECIATE IT and there is this thing that l wanted to know how can I know whether if I am just admiring him or having a crush on him and how does he sees me...
If you truly care for yourself AND the people you have relationships with, a good start is to create some healthy distance and focus on cultivating self-love. Only then will you truly be able to appreciate the energy of other people without expecting something from them in return.
Trust me, it's more than worth it to break away from codependency. It may feel absolutely amazing right now, but I don't want you to suffer the giant crash that comes from letting your relationship get so out of control that you can't imagine yourself as just you anymore. I've been there, and it's a hard place to crawl out of.
@@appa1154 completly agree with you, i noticed me dragging into the codedependency thing and it felt ... arkward, like when you re not around them you feel incomplete. Ever since i tried getting out of this and it is getting better. You really gotta care for yourself and as easy as it sounds it really comes down to care for yourself first and ONLY then others come and it is a great feeling when you get past the codedependency and can just enjoy yourself while also really appreciating the other relationship which complements so damn great.
I always thought I wasn't the co-dependent type... Select group of friends, but never 'needy' with them, long term, 20 year relationship where we often spent most of our time alone, then were there for each other at times like the weekend etc. Even spent 3 years after separating just enjoying my time alone and re-connecting to hobbies/picking up new ones etc... But then I ended up in a relationship where everything became intense, so fucking quickly, I can understand why they call it 'whirlwind romance'. Safe to say, she checked every box I needed, even ones I didn't 'know' I needed... Did not take long at all until I became quite dependent on her and was becoming extremely anxious when she wasn't around. It caused problems and we're still trying to mend things in terms of keeping things on friendly terms, seeing as we were friends long before. But yeah, this can be so easy to fall into without even realising it at the time until it's too late. Especially if you're not expecting it.
Its very easy to get attached to someone ive been there a gew times and its not always for the better especially online you can be fooled in to thinking somene cares guard your heart carefully theres good people out there but not everything is Always how it seems
Two of these points were true but the last one not as much. I actually kept my interests although I was tempted to learn how to play basket ball, get better at pool and I got into EDM and classic rap music. The only one that I actually went through with is the music preference because I genuinely like some of the songs/artists.
It's because you fall head over heels in love with a woman you love and you don't want her to be with anyone else and you just want her to be with you that's why people get too attached
O boy, I might have attachment issues myself. I can't see my hopefully soon to be girlfriend that often and miss her a lot when she's not around. I guess I have to learn to be happy at the times without her.
How in the time. I was sure i was attached to friend of mine but due to being no help decided to not disturb their life anymore. Im surprised how in time this video came
Sadly my sister has shown all these about her new boyfriend and he’s doing the same to her unfortunately he’s not that good of a person and they’re already showing cracks in their relationship and how much their personalities clash. I hope they both work on themselves or break up because I don’t think they have a healthy relationship from what I and everyone around them sees.
I just feel empty when Im not with one person that's very special to me, whenever she's busy I get sad and start to feel lonely even when I'm with friends, and everytime she says something even slightly negative, even if it's just a joke, I feel like I ruined everything and I fall into a deep sadness for a while, I managed to talk to her about it and she really wants to help me but we don't know what to do, I really just feel empty whenever she's not with me and I don't know what to do, I'm too scared of being alone.
What does it mean when Im kind of emotionally numb but not really? Like I feel things; like happiness and excitement, but when something serious happens in my life like being threatened, or someone is sad or venting, or something bad happens, I know I’m supposed to be feeling negative emotions when I just don’t
I get too emotional attached to someone I like very much. But he don’t share the same feeling so it make me sad, however, we separated and he also don’t want to stay in contact with me. So perhaps attachment will work well when both parties like each other
I have a video idea if you need one! Could you do one about to not hurt someone’s feelings if they like you ( let’s say it’s a friend or something ) just an idea, if you do this could you give credit?
Interesting. I wonder how similar getting too attached to a person/character via a parasocial relationship is. I've definitely done that a couple of times, though never to a point where I've been abusive to anyone or done any stalking behaviour.
QUICK FAVOR! So we worked really hard on releasing two new videos. They were published few hours ago. Do they show up on your newsfeed or homepage? Comment yes or no cause we need a tally to see what's happening.
They appeared
Yes!
Yes always
For me they show up in the newsfeed.
Well I’m subscribed so I get notifications but some of your older videos pop up almost all the time I refresh my homepage
Video came at the right time 😭
really 😭
For me, this arrived a little too late
THATS WHAT IM SAYING
lmao, i had a mental breakdown about it, launched youtube and the first video was this one🥷🏻
Same bro
As someone having attachment issues myself, I find this video relatable.
I have autism and even when i have alot of friends i still dont like to see them in their eyes when in a conversation now im worried if my future gf would see me as uninterested cus i dont admire her or something like you know see her eyes and she thinks i care for her
What kind of attachment issues do you struggle with?
@@Psych2go desperately wanting to feel unalone.
I was codependent on my ex mainly because it was my first romantic relationship so it was new and exciting, but after awhile we broke up. So I’m trying not to get as easily excited when bonding with someone new
@@samuraiboi2735❤
I've had this happen platonically before. Codependent relationships can feel absolutely incredible, loving, all-encompassing and satisfying, but when there's conflict or long-term separation it shifts to anxiety, desperation, and crushing pain. Codependency is a poison that's super hard to get sober from, but it's more than worth it. Remember, you are whole on your own and complete just as you are.
yeah mate, had the same as well. we were like the closest friends you can imagine for half a year and then it all ended in the span of like 30 minutes over (what seems to me to be) a minor issue. I was basically dead for 3 months after that
Definitely... And when 'both' are co-dependent for a time? It feels absolutely euphoric... But inevitably, one will change and become less dependent. Circumstances change etc. And it feels amazing, right until it doesn't. I never even realised how I felt until she was forcing herself to distance because it was becoming unhealthy. The moment she wasn't around 24/7? I haven't felt so low in a very, very long time. And hell, that was after a few months... I didn't even feel so bad when my near 20 year marriage broke down, it feels absolutely dreadful.
I tell myself I know what's coming when I get this feeling...yet it still happens even if I'm distractong myself with my hobbies...I want to share what I'm doing with my online friends....
@@PrincessofKeys I feel ya. Believe me I do.
As someone who’s continuing to experience loneliness and depression, (along with other overwhelming aspects like school, work, etc), I’ve noticed that i really only enjoy having engaging conversations with coworkers and hanging out with a friend (which are both also rare due to different work schedules) and when I’m on my own it’s very much not so nice, so ive noticed that I am susceptible to becoming very codependent towards someone especially whenever I get into a relationship. I just have to be very mindful of myself and others who might try and take advantage of my situation, which will be difficult !
I'm in the same boat, and I'm now trying to find things that I can enjoy by myself so that I still feel meaning when I'm alone. It's hard but hopefully worth it
This has been such a big help, I've been going through a bit of a depression and have self esteem issues. Me and my girlfriend are still traversing our relationship, and it's been difficult to find the distinction between valid needs vs being overly needy. But I feel like I've progressively corrected bad habits, and we're both learning and growing together.
Thanks or sharing your struggle with us. Could you tell us more about what you mean by "traversing" your relationship? How have you two been navigating your relationsihp together?
@@Psych2go First of all, I have to say how amazing and caring she is, and how much I cherish being with her. It is our first relationship, so naturally there is a lot of of unknowns. Each relationship has its own unique dynamic, and each person their own needs. We both very much so care about one another, and love being expressive and open with each other. In this case, I became a bit too emotionally dependent on her because a lot of things were going on with me. So a lot of my stresses that weren't relating to the relationship kind of all jumbled all together, and I accidentally was putting too much on her while I frivolously worried about all these different stressors. However, I've been talking with her some already about it, and this helped give me some clarity and confidence that I get I needed. We've had other conversations with each other, and we do our best to work through the relationship step by step acknowledging eachothers' feelings, and working towards healing and growing together. :D
@@Psych2go She truly is a sweetheart, and so understanding and compassionate. For all of our flaws, I'm confident because no matter how tough things have gotten, we end up with eachother working through our problems respectfully. Together. 🙂
@@Psych2go And where are my manners, of course! I'm glad I got to share a piece of my mind and heart with you. :D If you'd be interested in me further explaining any detail that I may have missed, let me know and I'll be sure to give my best recollection. 😉😄
It can be hard to close your heart to someone that you’ve had a good amount of time with. Empathy is strong.
I just met someone 2 days ago, and we had a blast talking and I already started getting attached to her over her personality which is fun to talk to. That was 2 days ago, and now, she just, disappears. Ghosted me like 2 days was never happened. I didn't know I can get attached in just 2 days and got hurt that quickly. I think my emotion itself is unstable.
Be grateful. She probably saved you from heartache later on.
Very similar with me but she hadn’t got over her previous six-months-of-toxicity-at-the-end-of-a-two-year-relationship which is understandable and she’s not dating rn and she has really slowed down talking and it’s taken it’s toll
If you get codependent that quickly and you can't do stuff normally without that person being present there's definitely a problem.
@@kurthanke5788 Thanks for saying this! You need more upvotes! I learned this lesson the hard way 😬🥲
i met a guy around 2 months ago and we used to talk alot now well he doesn't seem that interested and im overly attached to him🙂
Timestamps
1). Two is better than one 0:41
2). O to 100 in 0.5 seconds 1:55
3). Monkey see, monkey be you 2:39
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I'm either close to someone or they're a complete stranger. There's no in between
“Not having children derives not from dislike, but from love too great to bring them into this world, too limited, too vain, too cruel.”
― Michel Onfray ❤
So people who do have children are hateful or naïve? Is that what you're saying?
And how is that relevant here?
@@kimifw58 ?
People choose to not have children because they like children. Does that mean people who have children don't like children? How can I make this clearer?
Or maybe they just don't want to have children. They have that right. They don't need a reason.
"Passionate love is like a flame that burns very hot, but that cannot burn for very long. It is based on fear and hope and fantasy. It is imbued with desire, and it reinforces personal insecurity and personal neediness.
This is the love experience that so many people are pursuing in life at great expense, but it is not an experience that can lead to a really successful relationship in most cases.
What you are looking for is an experience of recognition-a deep, quiet, powerful experience."
*Love and Relationships, The New Message from God*
Thank you for posting this.
"A child is one of the most common results of the lack or loss of self-control."
Mokokoma Mokhonoana ❤❤❤
Not a child, but abandonment. People who understand responsibility will be more cautious & control themselves better. Without a child, there's no future in humanity.
Nah cuz like I’m literally going through this rn 😭 Thank you for making this video. I already noticed I did some of these things in my relationship with my girlfriend, but this all but confirmed that I’ve been getting too attached. The codependency where I can’t be happy without her especially rang true. I’m trying to fix this though, before it puts any strain on our relationship.
Your commitment to improving yourself and your relationship is a positive sign, and it's likely to strengthen your bond in the long run. Keep up the effort, and I wish you both the best in your journey together!💙
I'm genuinely confused now. I just start thinking this about my new best friend and this videos just been perfect for me and I can't thank you enough.
if you guys did not do a video about the different between attachment and love yet, I suggested doing it because nobody wanted what happened to Anakin Skywalker to happened to anyone.
I came here reluctantly, expecting to check every box again as I once did ten years ago... But was happily surprised to not relate to almost all of the pointers.
I find myself tending to hobbies and personal projects when my partner is away, and even enjoy the "me" time with some music and art. This used to be such a stigma for me before, but to be frank, my ex wasn't faithful. So I got paranoid.
My current partner taught me to be interdependent, and we're both in such a calm passage. We do have our occasional disagreements, but everything can be talked over and addressed.
It's truly blissful when you learn to love yourself and are blessed with an equally loving partner. The old scars are still there, but you learn to take one step at the time, in the right direction.
Thank you for this video!
Sounds like someone I know. They changed their entire fashion sense and personality just for this one person and only respond to them and ignore everyone else. I feel at that point it gets toxic
This came around at the perfect time. I started dating my best friend of 3 years and we both had feelings for two. So when we're apart i do feel sorrow but then i realise its because of past trauma and attachment issues. She really means the world to me.
That moment when you are not in a relationship but still want to watch the vid to learn future advice 👍
How does this channel know what's happening with my life omg
Same
As someone who tried to be attached to someone in the past, I can see why it’s important. Luckily, I stopped myself from doing so when it was necessary.
Thank you for sharing your experience!💚
I feel like the universe has been teaching me this very lesson for the last several months. I met someone at the beginning of this year, 2023, and I have definitely found myself unhappy and very clingy whenever my person of interest isn’t around, or we don’t talk as much as we used to, and as much as I’d like (some of this is because of some family issues recently).
There have been some heated debates about these things lately, but I understand it’s all because I’m too attached and can’t let myself be happy without my partner around.
I’m in the process of getting some professional help because it is very difficult at times to not feel like I’m being abandoned or rejected 🥺
I might be too attached to someone but it feels so real. Same personalities, same way of thinking, same a lot of things. I met her in Church so it feels like God is bringing us together. I thought I heard God say don't give up on her. I had a million other signs too. I'm still in control. I asked her out and she said I'll let you know, which could be good or bad. I'm happy to take a step back and wait for her answer and if it's no just stay away from her. Don't be so kind and attentive. But I think she likes the validation so she's feeding my addiction.
I haven’t been in a relationship in 3 years I just really like Psych2Go’s videos, keep up the good work
Sadly I can’t see myself even in a relationship. But at the same time, I keep watching this stuff. 🤦♂️
My relationship ended because of this, I got way too attached way too early
Sorry to hear that man ☹️
I'm really sorry to hear that, man how are you doing now? is there anything specific you're doing to heal and grow from this experience?
This channel has helped me in more ways than I could've imagined. Thank you for your work.
... I feel 1 and 3 apply to my previous partner. He was wanting to be with me every moment that he could, but I started needing alone time because of how badly my parents were trashing me. Anhedonia start rising, so I asked if we could go back to being friends while I worked on getting counselling. That caused a backlash up to him sending a pic of my handwritten letters and art torn to pieces, but then still flipping back to wishing we could stay as friends.
Before all of this, I had the best experience of my life with him, so I do miss that. Having him become so dependent on me was scary, though, and helped me want to live on my own before trying living with someone else. That upset him as well and had him say he would look for a "real girlfriend" instead of me.
You have a constant worry about your partner being too friendly with friends. You also don’t want to be controlling so you sit on those feelings. It’s really hard when they’re super busy and barely text let alone call.
My girlfriend literally says the same thing. What you and my girlfriend need to do is to find things on your own to do as well. Maybe do something to distract you. That's why hobbies are important. We aren't being mysterious we just want to maximize our time with our friends.
I wish I could have found this video when I was a teenager or young adult. I'm in my 30's now, but to anyone who's still dealing with similar situations, make sure that you're taking care of yourself before you enter any sort of love relationship.
Long distance makes this much worse unfortunately. I'm starting therapy to tackle this
came at the right time😭
I have come to realize I have borderline stalkerish tendencies and my feelings for someone will become an outright obsession the longer I know them. And worse yet, I feel this way whether they like me back... or not. I was pretty oblivious to it until one day REMs 'Losing my Religion' came on the radio and the lyrics hit me square on the nose.
Never did I imagine that my hopleless romanticism would be ve what drove me insane, but my lack of self awareness is killing me.
I don't understand why is it so bad... I want someone to be attached to me 😢
I have someone.
Me 2 😭
i had a best friend who got way too attached and it wasn't fun...
in some cases (mine) they become too clingy and need to know where you are 24/7
they act like its a big deal you didn't have time to talk to them for a day or two
they told me they could never feel happy if I wasn't with them, which makes you feel REALLY uncomfortable
idk its just not what everyone makes it out to be.
Attachments themselves aren't necessarily a bad thing - all human relationships are a form of attachment. Hell, even having a pet is a form of attachment. It's when that attachment becomes all-consuming that it becomes a problem. If you love being with someone and miss them when you're not together, that's normal. If you literally CANNOT function and check their socials every few minutes and obsess about what they might be doing and thinking that very minute and haven't gotten a response to the text you sent 10 minutes ago so they must be mad at you oh god what did you do are they with someone else now do they even like you anymore why won't they text back WHERE ARE THEY.....that's a serious problem. It opens the relationship up to abuse, whether it's emotional or mental, intentional or not, co-dependency tips the balance of responsibility to one person and that's incredibly unhealthy.
A relationship partner should supplement your life, not replace it - they should become an important part of your life, not become your entire life. The cliche of "the sun and stars revolve around you" sounds lovely in a poem or a novel, but when someone makes you the centre of their entire universe, it's genuinely exhausting. I was in a 7-year relationship with a guy who had barely any friends, didn't socialize, just stayed at home and waited for me, and made me a goddess on a pedestal that his entire being revolved around. The last part sounds good, right? It wasn't. After a while, you start to feel more like a possession, like an object of desire, than a person with their own life, and it becomes soul-crushing to constantly *constantly* CONSTANTLY provide entertainment, comfort, support, affection, and attention to a single human being. It's like taking care of a newborn, they're completely adrift without you and it's stressful and exhausting.
@@sugarbaby1974 attachments are not the Jedi way attachments lead to angry anger leads hate hate leads to suffering 😈
Anyone rush in and share everything, then suddenly feel the need to ghost and block because you’re getting too close
Oversharing might feel worse than not sharing at all tbh
As a former codependent, it was the doom of my relationships. Thank God, I am confident in myself through Jesus Christ.😍🙏
Yess!! This is exactly what I need
thanks for this new videooooo, we love you
girl 😭 i feel so called out
I want a video on how to get over a crush you see often, like it can be a school crush or anything. One of the most important tips this channel had delivered is to cut ties and contract in social media, mobile etc. But I already do not stalk their profile on mobile and am still in the same simping condition even if I try to avoid it. I just wanna be a cool person who moves around without a crush but everytime I see that one "Person" I just melt. Then what to do?
I really needed this
I have a best friend who I love more than anything, but my last friendship left me with some unhealthy attachment habits. How do I work to overcome these? I really don't want to hurt them in the long term
Take some time to heal, work on yourself the amount of energy you put in your friendship and use that energy for yourself.
@@lay1735 thank you. I'll work on that
I am certain I used to be super attached to my bestie. I eventually when we had time apart I got to finnaly work on myself and improve myself to be better.
I feel alot better about myself now. But I still feel a part of me still gets so anxious around her that I get wierd feelings and thoughts.
If your bestie makes you feel weird, then maybe back off, and not hang around them so much
@@kurthanke5788 not wierd in a bad way, how do I say it. Uhh in the good way. Like I throw up from being too much around her cause of catching butterflies, or being too worried about her.
She's a very good person to me know her for a long time.
@@thecorrupted3217I feel you, you could try to meet new people (easier said than done), or maybe realize her as a platonic love and continue your way, if you are destined to be together you will be, and if not, the best thing you can do is being fine with yourself
This comes from an INFJ that forgets to eat or sleep if someone needs help, but ends up empty when it comes to itself.
@@pax1217 i done that for a long time. I always helped people out of there worsts. I think my attachment is strong cause she was the only person who tried her hardest to help me and even her family tried there best.
They were a major part of who I am today and I am proud of myself for getting this far. They were there always and she was by my side. So I owe alot to her. She is just well amazing. Can't express her in words it will be too much. Shes already in a relationship so I support her. Even tho I will always care about her. I support her. Also she is kinda my ex. But we had nothing bad happen. We just kinda lost feelings between us.
I don't mind being on my own. I am learning how to improve daily for myself and on how to help others as well.
She's already in a relationship so I support her for that. She is just that special to me. Could never be upset at her. She's a very kind person
Falling in love is such an easy thing to do but there's no guarantee that the one you love is going to love you 💔
Don't confuse love with attachment.
I think I am struggling with this so bad, because I never really had any close friend until I met someone that I really felt I could be myself with. Because I was so attached to this person I never wanted to lose them and looked away and forgave them so many times when they hurted me or betrayed me. I always knew that i was too attached to them but I didn't have anybody else and I am struggling very badly with feeling lonely. It was until this summer that they left me again when I needed them the most that i managed to find more friends. A group of lovely people and it is thanks to them I could finally let the person go and move on but also to focus more on myself to heal but also understand my worth too. It is hard of course. I miss them a lot, but one of the most important step I could do after this been a big problem for 2-3 years.
Thanks cause this video helped me realize that im to attached to one of my friends (i relate to everything but the they hate me one)
Hope this helps :) how many signs did you relate to ?
I'm in the process of changing jobs and that i can't talk to a specific person about it is eating at me. I really miss her, but she chose to be with someone else and i respect that as best i can :/
I clicked on this for fun, I don’t even have a partner and this checks me out and every friendship I had-
I needed this SO BADLY
I'm strongly codependent once I commit myself to friendships like when I decide 'hey this person matters to me'. I always try to respect their space and wait for them to initiate interactions half the time but dead air is killing me. But then I always transition to interdependent as time goes by like maybe 6 months (takes longer if they're also clingy). Am I anxiously attached or securely attached or?
Dead air is killing me too. The waiting for interactions , it rarely happens. So I try to focus on the things I like to make my days better. I've learned doing it, now I don't get hurt like before. It took time. But it's okay, I am fine on own.
I go back and forth in phases of being codependent and interdependent. Like sometimes I feel very codependent because of a lack of romance in my life but a lot of the times I am interdependent.
Well done you gained a very rare sub +1
PS: thank you for all your videos i was able to call an SOS to peoples around me (its fake i need help.) Great vids!
Right timing because have just been contemplating this
i enjoy being like this, like its a burning and tiring feeling when im not around that person but it all disappeares when im with that person so its okay :3
god the timing is insane with this one
I have a really powerful crush on someone, but even knowing there already in a relationship, and wasn’t interested in me before they had one. I still have an unhealthy obsession, and the sight of them can give me a lot of negative anxiety, what can I do to fix this?
Perfect timing for me ksjwkdh, this channel has done so much for me i swear
I notice this kind of behaviour with my gf from the beginning. I thought I can change it. But no. Having a partner like this is draining, physically and mentally. I'm so damn tired hearing that she needed me, only to complaining about things that I working so hard to fixed it myself. I'm so tired to give her my love, only to get nothing in return. I realized that she need to heal first, because it hurt your partner in many ways that you don't even realize.
I’m way too attracted to a girl who doesn’t like me
Hello, I know you might not see this, but I just want to ask how you're doing? Thank you for creating these videos, they really help. I wish you all the best and hoping that you are feeling ok
i get too attached to friends, and then something happens, we arent friends anymore, problems, depression. that happened to me recently, and it wasnt my first time.
1. 0:42 two is better than one?
2. 1:55 0 to 100 in .5 seconds
3. 2:39 monkey see, monkey be you
Hope this helps you. Have a nice day❤
These videos are really helping me A LOT THESE days and I APPRECIATE IT and there is this thing that l wanted to know how can I know whether if I am just admiring him or having a crush on him and how does he sees me...
I’m so attached that I’m watching this, realising that the first 2 are true for me, and I still am gonna do nothing about it bc dependency 😂
Honestly I have the same issue and I don’t know what to do especially since I have like all of these I thought it was completely normal 😅
what we gonna do
If you truly care for yourself AND the people you have relationships with, a good start is to create some healthy distance and focus on cultivating self-love. Only then will you truly be able to appreciate the energy of other people without expecting something from them in return.
Trust me, it's more than worth it to break away from codependency. It may feel absolutely amazing right now, but I don't want you to suffer the giant crash that comes from letting your relationship get so out of control that you can't imagine yourself as just you anymore. I've been there, and it's a hard place to crawl out of.
@@appa1154 completly agree with you, i noticed me dragging into the codedependency thing and it felt ... arkward, like when you re not around them you feel incomplete. Ever since i tried getting out of this and it is getting better. You really gotta care for yourself and as easy as it sounds it really comes down to care for yourself first and ONLY then others come and it is a great feeling when you get past the codedependency and can just enjoy yourself while also really appreciating the other relationship which complements so damn great.
I always thought I wasn't the co-dependent type... Select group of friends, but never 'needy' with them, long term, 20 year relationship where we often spent most of our time alone, then were there for each other at times like the weekend etc. Even spent 3 years after separating just enjoying my time alone and re-connecting to hobbies/picking up new ones etc...
But then I ended up in a relationship where everything became intense, so fucking quickly, I can understand why they call it 'whirlwind romance'. Safe to say, she checked every box I needed, even ones I didn't 'know' I needed... Did not take long at all until I became quite dependent on her and was becoming extremely anxious when she wasn't around. It caused problems and we're still trying to mend things in terms of keeping things on friendly terms, seeing as we were friends long before.
But yeah, this can be so easy to fall into without even realising it at the time until it's too late. Especially if you're not expecting it.
Perfect timing... Had heartbreak
I love these video so informative and pleasing to watch
Why do they almost always perfectly describe me on this channel 😭
Now it's too much relatable😢
needed this literally today what timing lmao
Its very easy to get attached to someone ive been there a gew times and its not always for the better especially online you can be fooled in to thinking somene cares guard your heart carefully theres good people out there but not everything is
Always how it seems
You'd think it was my birthday all these videos you keep giving us
I started to get too attached to this one girl but after I found out she was never gonna like me back I just gave it up and it all went away
To be honest, this is not really a problem for me.
Since I don't even have a partner to cuddle with to begin with 😭-
I feel ya dude, I feel ya.
Thanks for this video
i have 3 best friends and if they arent here im fading in the background
Why does this describe my current situation perfectly 😭
Talk about divine timing 😳😳 thanks for posting 😅❤
Two of these points were true but the last one not as much. I actually kept my interests although I was tempted to learn how to play basket ball, get better at pool and I got into EDM and classic rap music. The only one that I actually went through with is the music preference because I genuinely like some of the songs/artists.
Now how i explain that to my close one is hardest part...
Now do one for getting attached to people, but they like someone who you hate (rather, hates me)
It's because you fall head over heels in love with a woman you love and you don't want her to be with anyone else and you just want her to be with you that's why people get too attached
The real reason people get attached is because they don’t feel secure within themselves. That is what causes this insecure behavior.
Do you have cameras in my life? Was literally humming to the chorus of the song Dilemma by Kelly Rowland this morning lol
O boy, I might have attachment issues myself. I can't see my hopefully soon to be girlfriend that often and miss her a lot when she's not around. I guess I have to learn to be happy at the times without her.
How in the time. I was sure i was attached to friend of mine but due to being no help decided to not disturb their life anymore. Im surprised how in time this video came
Me last year watching these for a couple hours everyday because I was in an abusive relationship and trying to cope
17 seconds ago :>.
Keep up the amazing work, Psycho2Go team!
Whoa. Video came just in time
I love that you guys mentioned What's Eating Gilbert Grape. I'm a Johnny Depp fan and I was hoping yall would dive into the psychology of that movie.
somehow all these videos i watch turn out to be me. i know this is a dating relationship video but this is literally me with friend relationship.
Thank you for the daily vids ❤🎉
I have known for many years that I have attachment issues
Her voice 🥺💕
Sadly my sister has shown all these about her new boyfriend and he’s doing the same to her unfortunately he’s not that good of a person and they’re already showing cracks in their relationship and how much their personalities clash. I hope they both work on themselves or break up because I don’t think they have a healthy relationship from what I and everyone around them sees.
I just feel empty when Im not with one person that's very special to me, whenever she's busy I get sad and start to feel lonely even when I'm with friends, and everytime she says something even slightly negative, even if it's just a joke, I feel like I ruined everything and I fall into a deep sadness for a while, I managed to talk to her about it and she really wants to help me but we don't know what to do, I really just feel empty whenever she's not with me and I don't know what to do, I'm too scared of being alone.
@Masil0524 - Counseling.
What does it mean when Im kind of emotionally numb but not really?
Like I feel things; like happiness and excitement, but when something serious happens in my life like being threatened, or someone is sad or venting, or something bad happens, I know I’m supposed to be feeling negative emotions when I just don’t
You could’ve become numb over time due to traumatic events that you’ve witnessed, but I’m not completely sure
I think that's kind of good imo. you don't get crushed by bad news or stuff.
I get too emotional attached to someone I like very much. But he don’t share the same feeling so it make me sad, however, we separated and he also don’t want to stay in contact with me. So perhaps attachment will work well when both parties like each other
I have a video idea if you need one! Could you do one about to not hurt someone’s feelings if they like you ( let’s say it’s a friend or something ) just an idea, if you do this could you give credit?
you can enjoy/sad being human if you belief ur human,dont let them dictate you mentality
love your videos!
Interesting. I wonder how similar getting too attached to a person/character via a parasocial relationship is. I've definitely done that a couple of times, though never to a point where I've been abusive to anyone or done any stalking behaviour.