Can "Fat" and "Fit" Influencers Find Common Ground? | Middle Ground

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 มิ.ย. 2024
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    00:00 Intro
    01:27 I promote healthy standards as an influencer
    06:04 Fat shaming is worse than skinny shaming
    09:52 I feel pressure to look a certain way for my followers
    13:27 Weight loss programs are toxic
    15:47 I have suffered from an eating disorder
    18:55 Final thoughts
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ความคิดเห็น • 3.2K

  • @nessa749
    @nessa749 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15743

    It was interesting to see one of the “fit” influencers being someone on a weight loss journey. The diversity is eye opening because often we think of someone who’s already made it

    • @Ray03595
      @Ray03595 2 ปีที่แล้ว +207

      @@15xChampions it's all about being coddled and told you're always in right, and how special you are, with gen z, and some millennials. Really cant stand it. Seems many people cannot handle when folks are real about their motivations and don't stick to the script on how you SHOULD behave, and feel. The amount of people worried for Nick, merely because he has self-motivation, is just sad. And I think it's a problem this channel has always sort of had. The people they choose to get on their shows are very clearly fame-seekers and will say/do anything to be the most charming person on the video. Nick clearly had no interest and was just being real.

    • @15xChampions
      @15xChampions 2 ปีที่แล้ว +156

      @@Ray03595 spot on bro. We live in a society today where people get praised for being unhealthy? Its ridiculous.

    • @ZVLIAN
      @ZVLIAN 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@15xChampions yeah dude thanks for having iq

    • @D3ad.R0ses
      @D3ad.R0ses 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      @@Ray03595 uh I don’t 100% disagree, but you do realize that eating disorders/disordered eating/addiction is a valid worry, not saying it’s what he’s dealing with, but it’s very very common

    • @D3ad.R0ses
      @D3ad.R0ses 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@15xChampions no one gets praised for being unhealthy???

  • @hannass4797
    @hannass4797 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14117

    "Just because you're into fitness, doesn't mean you're into health."
    True, your body needs exercise, but there are unhealthy relationships to fitness too.

    • @yogibear3761
      @yogibear3761 2 ปีที่แล้ว +424

      i mean if your physically fit , you feel mentally better (personal experience)

    • @JusRed48
      @JusRed48 2 ปีที่แล้ว +472

      @@yogibear3761 This is true but you can still have toxic and unhealthy habits that don't relate to your physical fitness.
      My brother is a gym freak in a dead end job with relationship issues, mental health issues, alcoholism, feelings of loneliness, and he stresses out hugely. For him physical fitness is a brief escape and there is more he could be doing for his actual health that he doesn't.

    • @TheSuperNats
      @TheSuperNats 2 ปีที่แล้ว +198

      @@yogibear3761 if you’re physically fit you CAN feel mentally better but there’s a lot of people who are fit who have body dysmorphia, who are addicted to working out, who never feel content and spiral into depression. Physical fitness whether healthy or not is not an indicator of MH.

    • @mercyasuquo1375
      @mercyasuquo1375 2 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      @@yogibear3761 it can also be an addiction. also, there are a lot of fitness gurus who also have body dysmorphia which can lead to mental health issues

    • @nikaswords17
      @nikaswords17 2 ปีที่แล้ว +79

      And NEVER take diet advice from fitness trainers! They are NOT nutritionists…

  • @auriannalogan391
    @auriannalogan391 ปีที่แล้ว +3151

    As a chunky chick I was disgusted with what was said about skinny shaming. don't diminish other peoples struggles because you think yours is more important. Body shaming hurts no matter what size you are.

    • @jennyp1753
      @jennyp1753 ปีที่แล้ว +144

      Totally agree, my close friend has always been naturally thin. She has tried to gain weight in the healthiest way (increasing intake with healthy food choices - protein, etc). However, it’s difficult for her. The skinny shaming she received in HS still affects her till this day. It goes both ways.

    • @quinten1919
      @quinten1919 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      So now youre thinking yours is more important? Both as as bad as the other

    • @auriannalogan391
      @auriannalogan391 ปีที่แล้ว +105

      @@quinten1919 huh? I’m saying that it was disgusting that they were diminishing skinny shaming.

    • @Tom-km3vo
      @Tom-km3vo ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@auriannalogan391 not sure bout that one mate

    • @theorderofz
      @theorderofz ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Tom-km3vo lol, tell the skinny nerdy dude growing up who’s now jacked that his trauma is unjustified and see if u don’t get punched in the face

  • @allgood7088
    @allgood7088 2 ปีที่แล้ว +331

    Nick was the only one who had the guts to say he feels pressure to look a certain way for their followers. Clearly they all feel that pressure, both ways.

  • @findingmarga
    @findingmarga 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6337

    Body dysmorphia is different than feeling insecure about your body.

    • @sajeallen1552
      @sajeallen1552 2 ปีที่แล้ว +544

      i agree. I'm sick of seeing social media posts about "ten things that mean you might have body dysmorphia... you compare yourself to others." (Just a random example). Like no, you do not have a mental illness because you do things that everyone does. You have a mental illness when you're so fixated on your body you won't leave the house because someone might see you (etc). It really devalues the seriousness of people who truly do need help, making it seem like normal behaviour

    • @poocrayon4588
      @poocrayon4588 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      uh uh

    • @TalesOfATeaAddict
      @TalesOfATeaAddict 2 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      @@sajeallen1552 everyone experiences mental challenges differently, some people are very high functioning! Its rectangle square, everyone with body dysmorphia is insecure about their body, but not everyone who is insecure about their body has body dysmorphia. I personally am very body secure, and pretty much never compare myself to others bc I love my body and know it does what it needs to do--its very easy to generalize your experience to everyone in ways that just are not true.

    • @queenrudshel9802
      @queenrudshel9802 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      But isn’t that what LEADS to body dysmorphia?

    • @slsthewriter1299
      @slsthewriter1299 2 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      Yeah, it's a similar thing to "anxiety is just worrying" or "depression is being sad". Like yes, it is, but body dysmorphia is insecurity with your body to an _extreme_ the same way anxiety and depression are to the extremes. Which…people don't just understand, though I digress.

  • @cooper712
    @cooper712 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14294

    I do feel sad for Nick. He’s clearly struggling with a lot of self hatred and an eating disorder. I hope he gets the professional help he needs.

    • @knqxr
      @knqxr 2 ปีที่แล้ว +670

      This. No one should have to hurt that much.

    • @flamingaish
      @flamingaish 2 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      exactly

    • @TerryAE
      @TerryAE 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Right.

    • @tkaymdala
      @tkaymdala 2 ปีที่แล้ว +141

      Determination

    • @DavidLyles
      @DavidLyles 2 ปีที่แล้ว +974

      Perhaps this is his way of dealing with it. My brother used to weigh 360 pounds. Lots of self hatred. He one day said "I'm tired of feeling this way." and went out and made a change. But it wasn't his positivity or determination that allowed for this change, it was his own self loathing. He now weighs 180 pounds and is very physically fit. Tells me he's never been happier. I used to be solely for positive change, to use your determination. But he showed me that a negative outlook can sometimes lead to a positive change, and vice versa. When I hear Nick talk it reminds me how my brother used to be, maybe when he is fit he'll be happy, maybe not. If he isn't then I fully agree with your comment, I personally think it's too early to judge, sometimes all people need is time.

  • @masquerade4eva823
    @masquerade4eva823 ปีที่แล้ว +2286

    Skinny shamming is so much more than underhand compliments.
    I remember being embarrassed having only one particular brand in one particular size actually fit me correctly. Had to go out of the way to find clothes that didn’t fall off of me.
    I’ve been bullied verbally and physically for being super skinny. Had a girl push me cause she wanted to see how easy it would be since I was as frail as a twig. A boy I had a crush on said he would never date me because “Who would be interested in a girl who’s arms are skinnier than her glasses?”
    And a huge part of why I was so skinny was because of medication I had to take. I couldn’t help it. No amount of chicken was “going to put meat on my bones”. And when I did get off medication and get to a “normal size” every one kept commenting on it making me feel even more insecure! Ended up with an eating disorder trying to get back down to an unhealthy weight again.
    Both sides have their problems to deal with. It’s never cool to judge someone based on their appearance because you truly never know what that person is going through. Just be kind to each other!!!

    • @jiminieee7682
      @jiminieee7682 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      im sorry u went through that but u have to understand that you are still the standard in the west

    • @sarahmsrkey4416
      @sarahmsrkey4416 ปีที่แล้ว +207

      @@jiminieee7682 ok and? they obviously understand that and its not because someone is the beauty standart that u cant bodyshame them

    • @simpanime7070
      @simpanime7070 ปีที่แล้ว

      First of all super skinny ain't the standard no more and super big isn't either it's pear or hourglass shape which requires you to have some junk in the trunk or some boobs so while it might be ideal to you both ends of the spectrum are not idealistic to the beauty industry at the moment.

    • @loveavable
      @loveavable ปีที่แล้ว +47

      I've been skinny shamed numerous times when i was younger because I was skinny ( very skinny) it took a long time for me to gain my self confidence and to be oke with how I look

    • @stephk1970
      @stephk1970 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      THIS 👏👏👏 have had this exact same experience, and to have people say "well you should just be thankful you're skinny" while I'm literally bullied for it? The double standard is unreal..

  • @uniqueloony
    @uniqueloony 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4416

    "Loving myself made me eat kfc three times a day, hating myself encouraged me to be different." As a therapist this statement stopped me dead in my tracks. I assure you, that what you mistook for "loving yourself" definitely was not. Loving yourself is a journey, so please do not give up on yourself. And I don't know if Nick is ever going to read this, but if you do, please, if you care about your followers, do not teach them self-hate. I promise you self-hate is a lot more destructive than anything. No one deserves that.

    • @xdtijnntssyu3314
      @xdtijnntssyu3314 2 ปีที่แล้ว +110

      No you’re wrong because self hate made me lose weight too it works

    • @uniqueloony
      @uniqueloony 2 ปีที่แล้ว +277

      @@xdtijnntssyu3314 I never said that self-hate won't get you to lose weight. So, I am not sure what you are disagreeing to. Self-hate, like any other punishing strategy, can work on the short term. Like a parent beating their child into obedience sometimes yields obedience on the short term. However, it also has long term implications.
      Same as self-hate in the realm of weight loss, it could lead to obsessive and disordered thinking around food, as well as body image issues and it takes a huge toll on the individual's mental and physical health. EDs could be life threatening and they are heavily based in self-hate.
      The unfortunate fact is some people think that the only way to lose weight is to hate themselves, and that is the saddest thing to me. The truth is Self-hate is a big component of the disordered eating patterns that result in weight gain. If you haven't suffered the negative consequences of self-hate I am very happy for you. But, please do not promote it. Like any other form of hate, it is a strategy that more often than not backfires. And "hating yourself into happiness" is the definition of an oxymoron.

    • @breewoodward3651
      @breewoodward3651 2 ปีที่แล้ว +173

      @@uniqueloony I agree with you 100% and am surprised not more people are saying it. Nick is portraying very dangerous values of himself.

    • @Vivacious_Chaos
      @Vivacious_Chaos 2 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      Agreed, I completely paused when he said, "I ate KFC because I loved myself." Loving oneself can be different for everyone but I feel universally it involves not hurting ourselves through any outlet including food.

    • @cheriseh.5142
      @cheriseh.5142 2 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      THANK YOUU!!! loving yourself means you love yourself enough to take care of yourself and I'm pretty sure he misunderstood that. I want to be a therapist as well btw!

  • @synaiapatrick3643
    @synaiapatrick3643 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8928

    I admire nick for being honest with his journey. You can tell there are some things that still bothers him which he probably needs to talk to someone, but he's not trying to please everyone by his responses, he is being authentic and voicing his experience and I feel like if it works for him then that's cool, and so many people may feel the same way he does.

    • @strawberrydaurto3366
      @strawberrydaurto3366 2 ปีที่แล้ว +164

      Yeah that’s what I was thinking. Like he is giving his perspective and it may be toxic or whatever these other comments are saying but he is still showing willpower and strength. He gotta do what he gotta do to get there. And I appreciate that.

    • @anthonycampbell1276
      @anthonycampbell1276 2 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      @@strawberrydaurto3366 bro I’ve been following nick for months on tiktok and he’s just a great guy with such willpower to better himself

    • @nein2883
      @nein2883 2 ปีที่แล้ว +115

      Yeah but I feel like the way he thinks is just a road to self hatred, like if he thinks ppl only have value in their appearance he's never gonna be happy

    • @Zaurkax14
      @Zaurkax14 2 ปีที่แล้ว +107

      @@nein2883 yeah as someone who went through ED i see a lot of very alarming things in what he does and says. I hope he won't hurt himself in the long run, because his approach is not the best

    • @shirogami4224
      @shirogami4224 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@anthonycampbell1276 does he have insta?

  • @josephreis2915
    @josephreis2915 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6327

    “Some people say I have an eating disorder, but I am seeing results.”
    Yes that is an eating disorder, 90% of people with eating disorders see results, that is the point

    • @Jacob-pz4ku
      @Jacob-pz4ku 2 ปีที่แล้ว +296

      How is fasting an easting disorder

    • @myles6557
      @myles6557 2 ปีที่แล้ว +482

      @@Jacob-pz4ku fasting one time is not. Repeatedly doing it is.

    • @mikeandthethreemusketeers3738
      @mikeandthethreemusketeers3738 2 ปีที่แล้ว +474

      @@myles6557 Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you supposed to fast mulitple times to...see results?

    • @re_i_gn
      @re_i_gn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +524

      @@Jacob-pz4ku his way of dieting is unhealthy and unsustainable. I wish the best for him but this isn't the ideal way to go on the long run and I hope he realizes it soon.

    • @Katnnissgetta
      @Katnnissgetta 2 ปีที่แล้ว +257

      @@Jacob-pz4ku fasting 24 hours multiple times is very much an eating disorder

  • @tanyanicole5920
    @tanyanicole5920 ปีที่แล้ว +1298

    Honestly the skinny shaming portion really got to me. As someone who's been skinny her whole life, it's more than just clothes and underhanded compliments.
    No one except another skinny person can ever tell you how emotionally scarring it is to be called a 'living skeleton' every single day of your life, by family, friends and school mates.
    And when I was younger people always assumed my mother abused me and that I was malnourished just bc I was really skinny.
    So you can't really just boil down skinny shaming to "you are the beauty standard" or "underhanded compliments."

    • @ezalainemae
      @ezalainemae ปีที่แล้ว +62

      I can't even look at myself in the mirror because of how disgusting my ribs looks like, or the looks of the people when they see my knees and elbows.

    • @ken3243
      @ken3243 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      and being pushed around a lot more

    • @SpongeMixify
      @SpongeMixify ปีที่แล้ว +21

      had a friend think i had an eating disorder due to how skinny i was. little did she know i was struggling to GAIN weight but not seeing results.

    • @itzelramz
      @itzelramz ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Same I've always been skinny and I enjoy working out and lifting weights, but I get told you don't need to go to the gym you're already skinny.

    • @itzelramz
      @itzelramz ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​@@ezalainemae I really just dislike my legs, how skinny they are i can't wear skirts or dresses because people always comment on how thin they look.

  • @chiefqueef1256
    @chiefqueef1256 ปีที่แล้ว +650

    It was sad to see how much they just don't understand about being skinny. Especially as a dude, I've never gotten a single comment on my appearance regarding my weight. Ever. It's always being made fun of, people calling me weak, a skeleton, a twig, and I think the worst part is that it's just socially acceptable for people to behave this way because "it's not as bad". Any kind of shaming or bullying is not okay, and seeing them say that being skinny is "the beauty standard" and saying that we can always find clothes (which isn't the case, being a 6" 120 - 130 lb guy) is just a complete misunderstanding and misrepresentation of what being skinny is like.

    • @nathangaspacio6128
      @nathangaspacio6128 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      As someone with above average muscle it's really hard to find clothes that fit me. All of the shirts I wear are too loose around the neck because I have to wear sizes above whats mean for my height. I also have really long legs so I have to wear jeans with like a 34 inch waist to be long enough. Makes it worse having less access to brands from living in NZ. I can also really relate to the skinny stuff as getting bullied for it is why I got into the gym.

    • @ashervirin9698
      @ashervirin9698 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Why would you accept them to when they’ve been a rolling blobby tumbleweed their whole life

    • @dialohurt4333
      @dialohurt4333 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      💯💯

    • @rello2fine
      @rello2fine 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I feel like it hurts straight men more when it comes to being skinny. As a skinny gay guy being skinny was like a benefit because people don’t expect me to be strong and all that. I just find it weird how it all works

    • @mcloughlinguy4127
      @mcloughlinguy4127 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Finally someone said it
      Skinny guys get constantly made fun of and no one talks about it

  • @TheSuperkeks888
    @TheSuperkeks888 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5325

    I hope life will get better for Nick in the future

    • @miahtaylor2802
      @miahtaylor2802 2 ปีที่แล้ว +183

      Agreed. I think he has more going on deep down

    • @KateCarew
      @KateCarew 2 ปีที่แล้ว +144

      He really seems to be in the midst of an uncomfortable process :(

    • @peacockfeathers7409
      @peacockfeathers7409 2 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      He seems like hes in such a bad place mentally i hope he can figure out he is worth so much more than his body

    • @joho3799
      @joho3799 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      At least he's consciously trying to be better. Rather you should worry about the two fatties in denial and the other two people pleasing.

    • @Chelseaaaa333
      @Chelseaaaa333 2 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      @@joho3799 Yes they’re worrying about the person who is admittedly running on self hatred rather than the two people who have come to terms with their bodies but still find reason to work on themselves…you could use some help too with a comment like that. Hope you seek it.

  • @iluvchocymilk
    @iluvchocymilk 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3772

    it's sad how Nick said hating himself made him want to lose the weight but he should love himself enough to want to be healthy and change

    • @geandraige3936
      @geandraige3936 2 ปีที่แล้ว +102

      It's a weird form of love which many people misinterpret I mean exercising hurts most common arguement you will use is if I love myself why am I hurting myself on the other hand the other argument is I hate myself this pain will help me change into something I love
      Both are wrong but hey at least that hate arguement may give you a vessel from which your life will become easier

    • @bgee3737
      @bgee3737 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Exactly!!!!!!!!!

    • @ferretappreciator
      @ferretappreciator 2 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      Right. He fuels himself with his hatred of his body, and then thinks everyone without muscles or who isn't a string bean should feel just like he does, or else they're encouraging him to be unhealthy in his eyes

    • @chihiroogino7464
      @chihiroogino7464 2 ปีที่แล้ว +123

      Nah, I don’t think so. People are motivated in different ways. Some are motivated by money, sex, praise, being happy you’re making progress, hating where you are in life. As long as you’re heading to a happier/better version of yourself, do whatever works for you. I was miserable at my old job. I hated who I had to be to keep that job. That motivated me to get my s*** together and get another one. I did the same for weight loss, and I really don’t see why everyone is feeling sorry for Nick when I’m so proud of him for trying in his own way.

    • @meanuwuhnia598
      @meanuwuhnia598 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      that sounds nice on paper but real life doesn’t work like that

  • @sofia-vp5xv
    @sofia-vp5xv 2 ปีที่แล้ว +207

    I really appreciate Nick for bringing up his thinner friend and her point of view. He hasn’t been through what she has and yet he brought her experience of skinny shaming to light. I was relentlessly bullied, especially in middle school, for being skinny. After that trauma it sticks with you throughout your life; at least for me it has.

    • @glasshalffull1992
      @glasshalffull1992 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It doesn’t sound like she was skinny shamed. He literally said she wanted bigger boobs and a bigger butt. She just sounded insecure, didn’t mention anyone shaming her. The modeling interesting will not skinny shame. Do you know how many models have come out and talked about how they wished they weren’t asked to lose so much weight?

  • @kaleidojess
    @kaleidojess 2 ปีที่แล้ว +396

    5:44 eating KFC three times a day is not self love. That’s eating to compensate for something. Self love is more than just comfort. Self love also means telling ourselves no sometimes and pushing ourselves when we’re tired because we know the end goal is worth it. Today’s self love is not self love at all mostly.

    • @kaleidojess
      @kaleidojess 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      He’s on a journey, we’re all on a journey. I think he’s hard on himself and overweight people.

    • @shaquilleoatmeal1048
      @shaquilleoatmeal1048 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      He said quote on quote

  • @marianne4902
    @marianne4902 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4945

    I understand Nick. I’ve been Nick. However, please remember that you can’t hate yourself into a version that you’ll love.

    • @spoilerguy7285
      @spoilerguy7285 2 ปีที่แล้ว +278

      i can

    • @chris1275cc
      @chris1275cc 2 ปีที่แล้ว +438

      Did it. Hated myself overweight love myself skinny and fit. In my experience loving yourself leads to nothing but maintaining the status quo.

    • @nicolamutton
      @nicolamutton 2 ปีที่แล้ว +106

      I did

    • @ntr10me
      @ntr10me 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      "...you can't hate yourself...love"
      - It's a point that is really hard to unlearn. Well said.

    • @itzsweetz83
      @itzsweetz83 2 ปีที่แล้ว +81

      Just because you used juxtaposition doesn't mean what you said is true grow up and lose some weight 👍

  • @arianam6430
    @arianam6430 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1611

    In my own personal experience, I find that regularly going to the gym and eating well has benefited me a lot more than not. I've been overweight for a bit of time now and I've worked through my own inner demons about my own self acceptance- but my reality is that I'm overweight because I eat takeout when I'm stressed and too tired or too busy to cook. When it comes to my mental health, going to the gym and eating right is a form of self care and I've noticed the better moods when I do that. These days, I'm no longer chasing a weight loss goal- just a consistency goal. I want to feel better, for longer.

    • @strawberrydaurto3366
      @strawberrydaurto3366 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Wow written really well! I can really relate to you. And like you said it’s about consistency, but I can’t help but think “I’m I losing weight” and then I put my head in a negative mindset and just stop doing what I’m doing. I just want to be consisten. Why is consistency so hard to obtain. Like it’s a mental game, and it’s hard to obtain that strength and willpower. I feel better doing healthy stuff because I feel my moods change for the better. And this is why I’m on this back and forth thing about going to the gym and eating healthy. I go to school and I work so I use the excuse of that to not workout. I’m so over it. I just want to be happy and feel comfortable with myself but not feel like it’s a burden and struggle. Lol I’m a bit over the place rn but I hope to be more likeminded like you.

    • @poocrayon4588
      @poocrayon4588 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      All people need to do to lose weight is cut out almost all processed foods and the pounds will fly off, even if your not working out all the time. Cut out sugar, salt and processed breads (get a bread maker) and only eat fish, eggs or chicken for protein. There are still a lot of sweet things you can eat but you'll have to get your girlfriend or Mom or your girlfriends Mom to get in a routine of making them for you, because store bought treats are full of the bad stuff that fattens you up.

    • @sajeallen1552
      @sajeallen1552 2 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      @@poocrayon4588 orrrr, here's an idea.... you'll have to get into a routine of making them? not a woman.

    • @ygerman1539
      @ygerman1539 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@sajeallen1552 out of everything he said you only took that part out of his comment smh. You just want drama lol.

    • @arianam6430
      @arianam6430 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      @@poocrayon4588 lol what? All your suggestions are bad. Sustained weightloss doesn't come from drastically cutting out whole food groups from your diet- especially if you're like me and you love pasta and bread. I lost 15 pounds by consistently exercising and making better proportioned meals, with ingredients that weren't calorically dense, and addressed my bad habits of overeating and ordering take out when I'm upset.

  • @turtleguy7976
    @turtleguy7976 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    So relieving to see a middle ground where everyone is 100% chill with eachother

  • @KingAtheist
    @KingAtheist 2 ปีที่แล้ว +88

    I think everyone here can feel and understand what Nick is going through. He hates himself and he feels insecure with his body and that's OK. The positive thing I took from him is that his doing something about it. He's not just talking but his doing what he need to do to achieve his goal. I wish nothing but the best for him.

  • @kalidays7459
    @kalidays7459 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1265

    I really liked Timothea, I did not expect her to have such an open perspective

    • @madisonkiel5084
      @madisonkiel5084 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      exactly what i was thinking!!

    • @meganpetterle7132
      @meganpetterle7132 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      Why did you not expect her to have an open perspective?

    • @weallknowwho
      @weallknowwho 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I agree! She is very understanding and very well spoken.

    • @samanthaphilipps7041
      @samanthaphilipps7041 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      I loved her and I appreciate that she has a stance that being skinny doesn't equal healthy. And because of her positive mindset, I'm going to start following her.

    • @JB-pp1kt
      @JB-pp1kt 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@meganpetterle7132 kinda my thought. Maybe it’s cuz of the white blonde pretty girl persona.

  • @BombshElle_7
    @BombshElle_7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1027

    The "I Suffered From An Eating Disorder" question had me shook. I did not expect them ALL to sit down. Nor have I ever heard of the hCG diet, and I am so saddened by the fact some doctors actually recommended that! I wanted to give them all a hug after that one.

    • @mrbounceoffwithdat4420
      @mrbounceoffwithdat4420 2 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      No way actual doctors recommend this diet. She must be watching some instagram MDs.

    • @Cam-fs4jf
      @Cam-fs4jf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      hCG isn't approved for weightloss, they would lose their license if they recommended this lol.

    • @xdtijnntssyu3314
      @xdtijnntssyu3314 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      500 calorie diet is normal what do you mean? the diets I used to do are more extreme than that, I would only eat 3 meals in one week and they will be 300 calories! and I did that for a long time and it was amazing I felt amazing and lost a lot of weight

    • @mrbounceoffwithdat4420
      @mrbounceoffwithdat4420 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@xdtijnntssyu3314 500 calories is not normal stop the cap you dummy. 2.5k for men 2k for women. Literally lying out of wazoo.

    • @BombshElle_7
      @BombshElle_7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@xdtijnntssyu3314 We're so happy for you.

  • @zofiafarkasova3940
    @zofiafarkasova3940 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    it made me really happy to see a middle ground video where no side was directly attacking the other one and no one interrupted the speech of the other person. done really respectfully and peacefully

  • @sunshinelavender1663
    @sunshinelavender1663 ปีที่แล้ว +148

    The “thin shaming” she used as example was ridiculous… that is not at all what thin shaming is

  • @MrDW-ei1fe
    @MrDW-ei1fe 2 ปีที่แล้ว +192

    Everyone turns into a psychiatrist in a jubilee comments section.

    • @MsDudette21
      @MsDudette21 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      when we have so many people that are obese the average person can tell you have weight problems just by looking at you...it says alot.

    • @star_etraWrites
      @star_etraWrites 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@MsDudette21 No. It says someone eats more than their intended caloric intake. You have ZERO clue what someone is going through just by looking at them. Narrowminded much?

    • @fyecofi
      @fyecofi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@star_etraWrites Yea, tell that to all the people that are saying Nick is depressed or in a bad place because he wants to lose weight.

  • @superwavvy5133
    @superwavvy5133 2 ปีที่แล้ว +461

    I love how civil the conversation was and how everyone just understanding of either perspective

    • @OHOE1
      @OHOE1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      zyzz edit ultra mode

  • @Siaami.
    @Siaami. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +538

    it also disappoints me that i don’t really see anyone in the comments talking about how what they said about skinny shaming is wrong, the things they said is no where near what skinny shaming is or what it feels like to be having those things said to you, it’s not a “back handed compliment” or people telling you “oh i wish i was your size”

    • @yayzzie
      @yayzzie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +92

      I absolutely agree. shaming someone should not be compared and it shouldn’t be that one is worse than the other. both instances of shaming come from a place of hatred or anger or jealousy and both cause a person to feel absolutely terrible. why should those experiences be put on a “who has it worse?” scale. just because someone is thin people are allowed to speak about their weight? no. you shouldn’t speak or shame ANYONES weight whether it’s a backhanded compliment or if it’s straight up being rude.

    • @elliebradford5122
      @elliebradford5122 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      exactly, i wish they read actual comments we get

    • @SHEGOsLair
      @SHEGOsLair 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      true.

    • @teetheluchador
      @teetheluchador 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Comparatively , which the question was. Yes it basically boils down to backhanded compliments

    • @Siaami.
      @Siaami. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@teetheluchador speaking majorly on my experience, it was more offensive comments than backhanded compliments, being asked if your anorexic and told to eat more when you’re a balanced weight and height for your age makes people think there’s something wrong with them.

  • @YourMsRightHere
    @YourMsRightHere 2 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    There is a somewhat interesting UK show called Supersize vs Super Skinny and it is really interesting to see how related disordered eating is on both sides of the scale. We are all disconnected from our bodies.
    This is a much healthier conversation than I thought it would be.

  • @TheRealMTR
    @TheRealMTR 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3747

    Woah that first question...it's enlightening to watch folks redefine phrases such as "healthy lifestyle" in a way to fit their particular way of life...
    Edit: yo Jubilee, put me on one of these panels!

    • @ZUKOKBG
      @ZUKOKBG 2 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      lol i thought the same... But wait is that MTR IN THE HOUSE!!!

    • @flamingaish
      @flamingaish 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      True

    • @RobinGoncalvesThe1St
      @RobinGoncalvesThe1St 2 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      Not taking responsibility is their way of life.

    • @andyk6192
      @andyk6192 2 ปีที่แล้ว +98

      Also like health is subjective. Anyone living with a marginalized or oppressed body/identity, chronic illness, or disability is acutely aware of this. Health is also a privilege in a country (I’m in the US) where healthcare is not free and nearly half the country lives hand-to-mouth. Health is a virtue in America but we often fail to realize that it is not the personal responsibility we have been told it is because our formative values favor individualism.

    • @teratoma.
      @teratoma. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      @@andyk6192 government obviously impacts how cheap and easy is to obtain healthy food, but the fact youre saying "it's not personal responsibility" while also starting the paragraph with "healthy is subjective" is hilariously telling
      lemme guess, u have weight problems

  • @rubyszpeflicki3800
    @rubyszpeflicki3800 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2773

    Body dysmorphia isn't not liking the way you look and not everyone has it...not even a little bit. I understand what he has trying to say but not liking how you look and having diagnosed body dysmenorrhea are 2 very different things

    • @crazyfangirl2797
      @crazyfangirl2797 2 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      Its being obsessed with the way you look and being focused on your flaws. A lot of people get it die to the media.

    • @lauragoreni3020
      @lauragoreni3020 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Yeah seems like he never did his research about the mental/psychological part of body image.

    • @aryanni
      @aryanni 2 ปีที่แล้ว +215

      @@crazyfangirl2797 nah that's not what body dysmorphia is either lol. I genuinely dk what I look like. ur perception of yourself is morphed

    • @dakotalove8015
      @dakotalove8015 2 ปีที่แล้ว +84

      @@aryanni this is a facttttt!! Its literally like being delusional…I suffered all through high school with body dysmorphia before it was a common thing to talk about and I didn’t even realize how skinny and unhealthy looking I looked…all while people would tell me like “wow you lost so much weight” and I LITERALLY never ever seen it until I worked on my mental health smh

    • @ashleev2319
      @ashleev2319 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I think he got confused with body dysmorphia and body dysphoria

  • @macca3666
    @macca3666 2 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    Skinny shaming sucks. I've always been an underweight guy and very skinny, no matter what I ate. I remember someone calling me 'bony' in primary school. Then I remember the first thing anyone ever said to me on my first day of high school, an older kid - "Are you anorexic or something?". It made me think being skinny is the first thing anyone sees about me, and that I looked 'wrong'. I was diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder once, I don't know if that's true or not, all I knew was that I agreed I looked 'wrong', unhealthy, hated it and was not comfortable in my body or people looking at me at all. It was a big part of my clinical depression and being suicidal for two years. That was 10 years ago. I'm no longer pathological, I'm completely functioning, I've worked as best I can at overeating and going to the gym to put on healthy weight. I have a little bit, and the experience of partners saying they find my body attractive helped. But I'll always be self-conscious and feel like I stick out because I'm skinny. If someone ever mentions it in the workplace, at a party, wherever, no matter how rare, it still hits my like a truck. Making fun of someone's appearance or making them feel like something is very 'wrong' with their natural physical appearance is horrible, it can be scarring for life - I can see how what I experienced can apply to someone being overweight, their skin colour, anything.

    • @hozic9929
      @hozic9929 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      As a skinny guy this is so true... Going to gym is hard when everyone tells you to just eat and stuff... Like bruh im trying to better myself don't bring me down again

  • @nicki1678
    @nicki1678 2 ปีที่แล้ว +339

    Nick can't even love himself even though he’s lost weight. the real problem is not the body but his mind. I wish Nick has more positive thoughts in the future and respects others decisions more

    • @pyrrols
      @pyrrols 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      yup! and this is why a lot of people that get skinny from their eating disorder STILL feel extremely insecure and STILL feel the need to restrict their weight to dangerously low levels. because their minds aren't in the right place, as it is a disorder.

    • @Bro_wat
      @Bro_wat 2 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      Tbh I disagree. He has a goal and is determined to achieve it. He has enough self respect to do something about his situation. You may think it’s self hate, but it could just be that he wants better for himself and is sick of sugar coating his situation. He may not be in the best condition now, but he will improve, and he’s definitely better than when he started. Sometimes self love is kicking yourself in the ass and telling yourself what needs to be heard

    • @jerminho1070
      @jerminho1070 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@Bro_wat Exactly !

    • @nj7969
      @nj7969 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Jacky : I don’t think that’s true. If you’ve accepted yourself wholly then why would you need to change? In order to motivate a change in behavior there has to be some stimulus or some level of lacking in acceptance of current position or behavior.

    • @nj7969
      @nj7969 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Jacky : I’m still a little stuck on if you’ve accepted yourself as you are, what the point of improvement is.

  • @emersonbrown3792
    @emersonbrown3792 2 ปีที่แล้ว +916

    I can already tell this video is gonna be tough to sit through

    • @tyroneloki5131
      @tyroneloki5131 2 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      Your wrong...its soft. Not asking the questions of what is really a healthy lifestyle, or body.

    • @somebrid2147
      @somebrid2147 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It was aight.

    • @MsDudette21
      @MsDudette21 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      lol only if you're obese and in denial of the health issues.

    • @stellalegolasnevolous4666
      @stellalegolasnevolous4666 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It wasn't at all!

    • @purpleesc
      @purpleesc 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      it was much better than i thought it was gonna be ngl

  • @heatherblaire3269
    @heatherblaire3269 2 ปีที่แล้ว +686

    I had a really bad eating disorder and I want to make it clear: society has NEVER influenced me to have an eating disorder. I could have cared less what others thought. If I did, I would have recovered much faster and easier. It's NOT about food. It's about control. Eating disorders are much more complicated than that

    • @stonermeetsworld4413
      @stonermeetsworld4413 2 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      I appreciate your perspective on this. It’s interesting to hear because EDs are always seen as just an intense obsession with how you look and doesn’t account for all of the nuanced motivations that drive you to restrict eating/overeating.

    • @argenti3324
      @argenti3324 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Agree! People are different and it depends on the person!

    • @izzyslattery
      @izzyslattery 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      There's significant relationship between people having eating disorders and those who were sexually abused as children. Food becomes a way for these people to have control over their bodies and what they do with it. It doesn't help that society affirms behaviours that make people lose weight. Just a way for people to be positively reinforced into continuing to harm themselves, as it both helps with their control issues AND the way they're perceived by others. Not everyone who has an eating disorder was sexually abused, but most who have been sexually abused can end up having an eating disorder. It's so twisted 😞

    • @LesleyDeLaUz
      @LesleyDeLaUz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      YESSSSS!!!!! We need to talk about this. A lot of eating disorders is about having a sense of control when you feel like your life is out of control

    • @camilla9498
      @camilla9498 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Exactly. Its a coping mechanism. The urge of wanting control and staying in control

  • @jorgeotolio
    @jorgeotolio ปีที่แล้ว +283

    About body shaming: being skinny does not lead to finding clothes your size, not even in the children's or teenagers' section or online. Sometimes, one can get well-fitting clothes only if made specifically for them (at a much higher price that not everybody can afford). It may be different in other countries or regions though.

    • @brieb4317
      @brieb4317 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yeah I have to get custom pants because I’m tall and small waisted.

    • @Meghna7891
      @Meghna7891 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Come on, there is xs size, u can't be smaller than that, if smaller than that then it means u are invisible. So stop victimosing way toooo much. I understand that skinny shaming is there, but to an extend that u dont find clothes your size, that's too much drama😁

    • @masquerade4eva823
      @masquerade4eva823 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@Meghna7891 I was on medication that caused me to loose weight to extreme extents. I really was in a place where we could not find clothes that fit. It’s not being dramatic. There are so many different body types so it’s not realistic to say that everyone fits in the cookie cutter sizes stores pump out

    • @kieragrace1304
      @kieragrace1304 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @Meghna Tcr pls choose your words carefully. people read and can find your words as destructive towards themselves, which can invalidate themselves.

    • @almondswt
      @almondswt ปีที่แล้ว +7

      This is true I’m considered thick and lost weight to the point I was about 130 when I’m normally 150 and I was wearing xs shirts so I couldn’t imagine how people who were actually Xtra Small find properly fitting clothes. It’s hard on both ends of the spectrum

  • @akiper8197
    @akiper8197 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    This has honestly been one of the most pleasant episodes. Everyone was just so respectful and understanding for each other

  • @delirium1326
    @delirium1326 2 ปีที่แล้ว +166

    This was a lot more civil than I thought it would be.

  • @supeldrix1135
    @supeldrix1135 2 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    None of those examples were skinny shaming lol

  • @EyemenProductions
    @EyemenProductions ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Nick is smart, he doesnt make excuses I don't think he's ill I think he's the only one that's a real person

  • @kostas8537
    @kostas8537 2 ปีที่แล้ว +237

    When Nick said "I'm hating myself to lose weight" I legit got so sad. I'm a person who's lost 200 pounds in less than 2 years and I am battling severe body dysmorphia BECAUSE I used to have that mindset for a while. At the end of my journey, I was refusing to see myself a person of normal weight and was still seeing an obese person while my size was medium and my bmi was at healthy

    • @60hertzproductions64
      @60hertzproductions64 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Ehhh, the second you hit that healthy weight where you feel light on your feet and get to eat what you want. Just sustain.

    • @pizzaparkerhotdogmaguire3225
      @pizzaparkerhotdogmaguire3225 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He said,
      "It's okay but at the end of the day I hate how I feel"
      Self love ≠ letting go of yourself

    • @riqo7255
      @riqo7255 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I’m reading this in disbelief this is my exact same story as if I typed this out myself I’m currently still “losing weight” but if anybody asks it’s but healthy exercise and dieting, which is a fcking lie. But I was 240 and now that I’m 180 and a size medium .. jus wanna say this comment hit different 🥊

    • @jones897
      @jones897 ปีที่แล้ว

      Homie you need help not Nick

  • @erwinsmith9473
    @erwinsmith9473 2 ปีที่แล้ว +411

    Kind of feel sad for Nick. Hope everything goes well for him in the future

    • @h0ly.dre88
      @h0ly.dre88 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      erwin 💪

    • @erwinsmith9473
      @erwinsmith9473 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@h0ly.dre88 Ereh

    • @15xChampions
      @15xChampions 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      For trying to improve himself? LMAO. It's time we stop looking up to people who think its okay to be unhealthy.

    • @fyecofi
      @fyecofi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Wtf is wrong with you? You're sad he is trying to improve himself?

    • @ghostofmisao.
      @ghostofmisao. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@15xChampions He has a terrible view of himself and projects that towards others.

  • @markofellow
    @markofellow 2 ปีที่แล้ว +140

    Every time I watch middle ground and noticed that it's not an equal number, I always think "did Jubilee intentionally made it that way or did the last person decided to bail out last second/something came up??" I would think its the latter.

    • @nashi._.7563
      @nashi._.7563 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      In one episode where it was 2 vs 3. They said one person bailed last minute in the beginning. I can’t remember which topic that was but it was one of the first times someone didn’t show

    • @cclift5691
      @cclift5691 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      this like barely happens, it’s usually j due to someone bailing within a short notice

    • @imrebeccap
      @imrebeccap 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I know this is old but I think Nick was supposed to be the gap between the two "extremes"

    • @Cthulhu_t
      @Cthulhu_t 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nashi._.7563 it was the military one

  • @younqzoe
    @younqzoe ปีที่แล้ว +87

    I love that quote “loving myself influenced me to eat KFC, but hating myself influenced me to change”
    I humbly welcome nick out of the matrix

    • @Galeriarch
      @Galeriarch ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I don't remember ever seeing him in the movie, I don't think he was even behind the scenes. I could be wrong, though.

    • @younqzoe
      @younqzoe ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Galeriarch def behind the scenes

    • @AnnyAmaral
      @AnnyAmaral 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I started my fitness journey this year and it was quite the opposite 😅 when I hate myself I cant leave the bed and end up ordering take out, what keeps me going is loving my self, it gives me energy, and I haven't skip a day in the gym now. Don't hate spread love

    • @younqzoe
      @younqzoe 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AnnyAmaral sounds exactly the same

  • @aloe704
    @aloe704 2 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    *Nick was the most interesting guy in this video.*
    I'm glad they portrayed a *plus* sized *fit* influencer.

  • @che498
    @che498 2 ปีที่แล้ว +612

    When Tyler hit Nick with that “I was a 3 sport athlete who now works in the medical field” after he spoke about not being able to accept “complacency”. I can’t begin to express my level of satisfaction.

    • @JackIsaacQ
      @JackIsaacQ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      It wasn't a kick in the teeth, it was a curbstomp tbf

    • @ChemistTea
      @ChemistTea 2 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      They're talking about two different things. Nick talks about how healthy he feels (being able to walk longer, jump higher etc) when losing weight, the Tyler talks about being able to lose weight and exercise. Tyler just isn't interested in losing weight for health, in his own accounts he said he was losing weight for competition, not for health reasons.

    • @emmajeanjumpinbean
      @emmajeanjumpinbean 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@ChemistTea that’s clearly not the case

    • @Ray03595
      @Ray03595 2 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      he's obviously been complacent about his health recently though. There isnt a person alive that big that wouldn't have health problems, or be at high risk of developing them. He is clearly obese which puts him in danger of several health issues, and you don't need a medical degree to know basic things like this.

    • @LesleyDeLaUz
      @LesleyDeLaUz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      @@Ray03595 Lots of thin people have health issues too. I had way more health issues when I was thinner than now. Im sick of people thinking they know someone's health by the way they look-you're not their doctor, you truly do not know.

  • @ggman_
    @ggman_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +400

    According to the World Health Organization: Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
    And I think it's important that we always remember that when discussing body and health.

    • @geehanel-abbassi7220
      @geehanel-abbassi7220 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      so you agree one cannot exist without the other. you cannot deem someone to be unhealthy just by looking at their physicality

    • @ggman_
      @ggman_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@geehanel-abbassi7220 Yes, I totally agree with that!!!

    • @geehanel-abbassi7220
      @geehanel-abbassi7220 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@ggman_ sorry my bad i wasnt sure if this was leaning more “physicality = healthy” or not but thanks for clarifying!

    • @ggman_
      @ggman_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@geehanel-abbassi7220 No problem ^^

    • @user-pd9xj1bt4e
      @user-pd9xj1bt4e 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Yes, that shows that being overweight is not healthy as they lack physical well being

  • @omararreola5449
    @omararreola5449 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    People saying nick needs help but people also need understand he’s being really open and honest it seems to me a lot of people hide their demons making seem they need “more “ help

    • @mitopolar3838
      @mitopolar3838 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      just because his honesty and openness to talk about it , we realise that he need help (no in a judgy way, just let me think of how can I giving a hand to him)

    • @Someone-fn3ij
      @Someone-fn3ij ปีที่แล้ว

      people say he needs help because they care about his mental health. you can love yourself and still lose weight

  • @panicbox4609
    @panicbox4609 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Being your healthiest and happiest self is what people should strive for. Comparing yourself not to others, but to who you were before. Always try to be a better version of who you were yesterday

  • @serenityq26
    @serenityq26 2 ปีที่แล้ว +468

    as someone who used to be skinny, here is my story: i've been rejected romantically cause i was "too skinny", i've been called "anorexic" because i was skinny. not all skinny shaming is "cute"

    • @hikkyhaihikkyho318
      @hikkyhaihikkyho318 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      i was told in middle school that my parents don't love me because i'm skinny and clearly don't feed me

    • @DevilAndAdvocate
      @DevilAndAdvocate ปีที่แล้ว

      I was called flat in school, and also one of my partners said to me that I should gain weight, because I will be "sexier"

    • @Ankku98
      @Ankku98 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​@@DevilAndAdvocate horrible. I hope you dumped that partner. A partner should accept you for how you are. Thats really disgusting behavior to me.

    • @DevilAndAdvocate
      @DevilAndAdvocate ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Ankku98 yes, I dumped him. And the best you can do with such comments is understand, that this is their vision, not yours. And you can change your vision with love to yourself (if it is toxic). And don't spend your time with such individuals, of course

  • @courtneyerntson898
    @courtneyerntson898 2 ปีที่แล้ว +760

    There’s skinny shaming that’s not “I wish I could be like that” like being told to eat a cheeseburger because you’re too thin. No one is jealous when they’re saying that to you. And they may mean well but it can be incredibly hurtful… especially when you know you look too thin. I’ve been on both sides of the argument (overweight and underweight) and will say people are so much more comfortable telling someone they look ill, to eat a cheeseburger, or are too skinny, then they are telling them they’re overweight and to eat a salad.

    • @saigie3908
      @saigie3908 2 ปีที่แล้ว +136

      @R L Can u specify how it’s a bad take? Cause she is just explaining how micro aggressions is also skinny shaming too. Is there something I’m not seeing that u see?

    • @y2m3e.45
      @y2m3e.45 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      @R L nope

    • @lexiekelly7913
      @lexiekelly7913 2 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      i mostly agree.. i think their both very inappropriate and neither are more or less worse than one another

    • @saje239
      @saje239 2 ปีที่แล้ว +76

      This was very much my experience as well and I was never even skinny, just a healthy weight. Basically my entire life, I was told I was too skinny, that I had no right being insecure that I needed to eat more, etc. This was almost always by larger females who were very malicious. When I got closer to 30 and became a bit over overweight, I was heavily criticized for saying I would like to lose 15 pounds. Again, almost exclusively larger females slamming me. Finally, when I became obese and needed to lose like 60 pounds, no one said anything about my body. Not once while I was obese was I ever shamed for the way I look, only for wanting to lose weight FOR MY HEALTH! It was never about beauty for me, but that's what they would always try to turn it into. I'm glad I never let myself listen to that. I'm down 50lbs, still slightly overweight, and I feel amazing!

    • @DA-js7xz
      @DA-js7xz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      Yep. Skinny folks get bullied at lot more in person. It's sad.

  • @Howlite__
    @Howlite__ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I can relate to all 5 of them. I have been in each of their situations which they describe, throught eating disorders, self hatred, self love, body dysmpprphia, health vs weight and everything else.
    I love it when they said
    It's not about what you look like, you need to focus more on the inside.
    This is very true, after everything I've been through I can definitely say that once u start focusing more on the inside, not outside, u feel more fulfilled inspired and no longer feel the need to have any validation about your weight and the way you look.

  • @andriannamack2361
    @andriannamack2361 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Oh nick! My heart goes out to him, he seems so sweet! And I hope his journey goes well and he starts seeing himself in a different light. I think he’s a beautiful human being. Like a new found Diomonds that may be roughed up at first if he need be and chooses help if he feel that way he could be smoothed up emotional and mentally to see himself better than he talks about in the video!!!

  • @charleneswinney6172
    @charleneswinney6172 2 ปีที่แล้ว +399

    I've been skinny my whole life was always told ohhhh u need to eat more, ur always cold cause u have no meat on ur bones. I had a problem eating in front of ppl cause if I didn't eat enough then ppl would tell me that's y ur skin and bones u don't eat enough. Being called names all my child hood. Boys telling me I'm not "thick" enough. All that gave me body issues growing up. I used to try and eat til I felt sick so I can gain weight. Then I learned as I got older that I just have a high metabolism. So I'm being shamed for something I have no control over. Especially being black and having "no butt". Just cause I'm skinny doesn't mean I don't have body image issues. I'm 36 now and still struggle with it.

    • @emyyyxx
      @emyyyxx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      i’m so sorry. i can’t completely relate to your struggle, i had privileges in being skinny/ white. but every comment wether it was positive or negative about how skinny i was rly stuck in my head and hurt me. people need to just not make comments at all about others bodies.

    • @rubyy.7374
      @rubyy.7374 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Lots of people say that they wish they had a fast metabolism, but thanks to hearing from people like you, I realize that it’s not all it’s cut out to be.
      At the end of the day, no matter what end of the spectrum you are, people are going to make fun of you and you’ll have to seek satisfaction in yourself.

    • @bobsburgers8497
      @bobsburgers8497 2 ปีที่แล้ว +70

      It pissed me off when he said when people are skinny shamed they’re just backhanded compliments and you can still find your size in most stores, that’s literally not true for people who naturally extremely skinny.

    • @mounze90
      @mounze90 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I’m sorry that you experienced that! It bothers me how people are always keen to judge others appearance no matter how they look. I had a cousin who suffered the same judgement as you, I always envied that she would never gain weight no matter what she eats but people used to mock her for that, in her twenties she got tired of it and started taking weight gain pills ( that are quite common where I’m from) and thing went bad, it’s like she was inflated. And guess what? People mocked her for that too!
      Really what I got from it is that we ought to love ourselves and ignore/block negativity because a lot of people try feeling less miserable by mocking and bullying others

    • @GirlDo3
      @GirlDo3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Yeah skinny shaming in the black community is bad cuz the standard in the black community is to be thick

  • @Luna-yf7tq
    @Luna-yf7tq 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1458

    nick needs to talk to a therapist he seemsso tired

    • @lauragoreni3020
      @lauragoreni3020 2 ปีที่แล้ว +144

      He should take care of the psychological part of weight loss, not only the physical part.

    • @mollys1439
      @mollys1439 2 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      yea he literally says he does 24 hours fasts and liquid diets so i’m assuming he has little energy

    • @moomoothecow3091
      @moomoothecow3091 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      @Will Morgan She's probably right. 24 hour fasts put your body's metabolism in starvation mode. That combined with his exercising isn't healthy.

    • @moomoothecow3091
      @moomoothecow3091 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @Will Morgan Are you a doctor? Not that you'd be able to prove it but judging by your lack of intelligent argument I'd say no 😂

    • @margosketch
      @margosketch 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @Will Morgan instead of saying you don’t know what you’re talking about over again why don’t you combat with a solid argument. express your opinion on the matter if you are gonna keep telling people theirs is wrong

  • @royshavrick
    @royshavrick ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I think Nick's message is that you need to tell yourself that there is always something you can improve. There is always something you can do to improve, you just gotta believe in yourself.

  • @yutyut1020
    @yutyut1020 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "hatting myself helps me better myself" that hit me in the soul

  • @Everythingsagopodcast
    @Everythingsagopodcast 2 ปีที่แล้ว +855

    And skinny shaming is VERY much real and it’s nothing to do with a backhanded compliment like they tried to make it. It’s funny how people feel like ur supposed to be sensitive to their struggles but don’t wanna be sensitive to other’s. This conversation was extremely one sided imo. U can’t talk about “body shaming” and don’t recognize all of it.

    • @justbeingjake
      @justbeingjake 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      Facts

    • @johannduplessis3467
      @johannduplessis3467 2 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      Everything's A Go podcast I 100% though the same. They literally think skinny people have no issues and everyone just automatically love them

    • @claire3318_
      @claire3318_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      i know!! i was so surprised when people actually agreed with the statement …

    • @epicipodmodz
      @epicipodmodz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      @V King small dudes that struggle to gain muscles also get a lot of “skinny shaming”

    • @bloodyunicorn3667
      @bloodyunicorn3667 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Exactly!

  • @saje239
    @saje239 2 ปีที่แล้ว +328

    I HATE the way bigger people will down play body shaming smaller people. My mother was constantly shamed for being too skinny and she ended up with an eating disorder. It is so self absorbed to assume your struggle is worse than everyone else.

    • @UnlimitedEmeralds
      @UnlimitedEmeralds 2 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      Yup, apparently it's okay to call someone sickly and skeletal because they're "too skinny". It goes both ways, people shouldn't be harassed over something that doesn't concern random strangers.

    • @notaburneraccount
      @notaburneraccount 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I think sometimes people's views are limited if it's focused on themselves. It makes people unaware and making assumptions about people not like them. This can happen across lived experiences. Perhaps bridging can help with people of all body types listening to and supporting each other. That's just me though.

    • @ThingEmmie21
      @ThingEmmie21 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      People don’t talk enough about how skinny shaming can lead to eat disorders

    • @koma8412
      @koma8412 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I honestly don’t agree with either of you. That last sentence, read your own paragraph and realize how you are the subject of it. Both of you are wrong, they are equally bad. Just go hit the gym lmao it’s not that hard to lose weight and put on muscle. I was 220 I’m now 180 and I look decent in my opinion.

    • @LJam97
      @LJam97 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Facts, they said no one places assumptions on skinny people that they would on a fatter person?! Definitely heard the coke head, eating disorder, egoistical assumptions.

  • @terrelhamiel2188
    @terrelhamiel2188 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This wasn’t diverse enough. It seems like the fitness side were more concerned about not offending the other side so they didn’t challenge at all

    • @soulresonance4073
      @soulresonance4073 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I mean there was nothing really to challenge, there’s nothing wrong with the way they live.
      Plus the blonde woman agreed with most of the same stuff as them.

    • @TropicThunder6996
      @TropicThunder6996 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@soulresonance4073 but there is. They literally will have tons of health problems by being obese. What do you mean there is nothing wrong????

  • @aspect795
    @aspect795 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    bro Nick is based, he seems like a cool dude, best of luck to him

    • @Ronin.97
      @Ronin.97 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      yeah fuck all these idiots who don't understand his mentality and think he needs to see a therapist. he was the realest dude on the panel.

    • @manuelmoralez2257
      @manuelmoralez2257 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@Ronin.97 for real I lost 20 pounds rocking the strat he’s rocking hate is the best fuel with love being a great enhancer

    • @salmaabdullahgb
      @salmaabdullahgb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Ronin.97 what would be the problem if he carried on his journey and also got therapy? Everyone can benefit from therapy

    • @Mar-5016
      @Mar-5016 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Ronin.97 I can see both views. I agreed with Nick completely at first but then I read these other comments and I also agree with some of their points. Like it’s not necessarily healthy to “hate” your body, I understand it’s a pathway to change but that would be mentally draining to deal with everyday. And take a look at the guy, he’s pale and looks pretty damn tired. Idk I hope he can still continue his journey but also realize that he’s simply bettering himself, not “killing his old self.” Ive always viewed fitness as leveling up our characters like in a game

    • @emyyyxx
      @emyyyxx 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@manuelmoralez2257 and now are you truly genuinely, happy with yourself?

  • @lindsaym756
    @lindsaym756 2 ปีที่แล้ว +149

    I appreciate Nick's vulnerability, I just wish he was able to realize that you don't need to hate yourself in order to want better for yourself. It's a difficult thing to learn but I hope that he'll find peace loving who he is on the inside other loving how he wants to look on the outside.

  • @agoodwasteoftime
    @agoodwasteoftime 2 ปีที่แล้ว +320

    7:56 people need to stop throwing around body dysmorphia as a phrase and turning it into something its not. Body dysmorphia is not just wishing to look different. Its genuinely looking in the mirror and seeing your body look different that it is in reality. people keep throwing around that term and making it sound like its just being insecure when its not. its just another mental disorder that people are dumbing down to make it seem like its something that it's not. No, not everyone has body dysmorphia.
    I feel bad for that guy cause it seems like he's really stuck in some toxic thinking cycles.

    • @lauragoreni3020
      @lauragoreni3020 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yep, therapy often goes along weight loss and there's nothing to be ashamed of.

    • @CopperSucks
      @CopperSucks 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      yet another actual medical term ruined by people obsessed with self diagnosing themselves lmao

    • @TheSpencer033
      @TheSpencer033 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      its 2022. people self diagnose to collect mental issues like they were pokemon cards. its all about getting attention, because social media is turning everyone into self indulgent narcissists

    • @jovondavis487
      @jovondavis487 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      If you wish that you looked different wouldn't that mean that they could see themselves in a different way? So wouldn't that fit body dismorphia.

  • @saintsation12
    @saintsation12 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I really feel for nick going through a fitness journey is never about hating yourself enough to change it’s about loving yourself enough to treat your body better hating how you look and using that as fuel to change will only leave you falling back into old patterns and hating yourself more for doing so the real change comes when you learn to love yourself and see your worth no matter what phase of the journey you’re in

  • @Alexcooks.8
    @Alexcooks.8 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I like this group, they were all able to talk about their opinions in a healthy way and hear each other out. I appreciate these people and them together.

  • @andyk6192
    @andyk6192 2 ปีที่แล้ว +417

    As a weight stigma researcher who is becoming an ED therapist, I love to see balanced conversations like this. It’s also refreshing to see people in fitness label their eating as disordered.

    • @juliusdemissie9820
      @juliusdemissie9820 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You didn't need to add the therapist part tho?

    • @moomoothecow3091
      @moomoothecow3091 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @Dimetri Drossos Yes correct. Did you not hear Nick say he regurarly fasts for 24 hours???? Just because you come out skinnier doesn't mean you did it healthily.

    • @danishbutter1847
      @danishbutter1847 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      disordered hmmm more like unhealthy obsession in which humans have always been prone to that behavior whatever it is it even applies to living religiously for a set of values and strong beliefs and especially when taken to virtue.

    • @glex9414
      @glex9414 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@danishbutter1847 an unhealthy obsession with food is a symptom of disordered eating. Disordered eating ≠ eating disorder, but an unhealthy obsession definitely meets criteria for disordered eating.

    • @salami5801
      @salami5801 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @D777ST It's refreshing because there is a stereotype that when you are fit, you are healthy. It differs from expectations, and shows more nuance to what health looks like. Fitness people care a lot about physique- but it's nice to see then that they still view mental health as a part of health overall. Life is about balance after all

  • @mochimochi6357
    @mochimochi6357 2 ปีที่แล้ว +743

    Nick is insanely insecure and has a humongous projection issue, and I'm saying this as a skinny person lmao. He assumes that everyone hates their bodies and has the same ideals as him which is simply false, most people don't have body dysmorphia and not everyone wants to have the tiny frame of models--a lot of people are fine with a healthy body and living actively. I think it's really telling that he's relying on the hatred of his body to fuel himself while the fit guy isn't, that form of weight loss isn't sustainable and won't lead to him being genuinely interested in maintaining a lower weight (if he ever gets there)/finding fitness activities that he enjoys.

    • @blinkbubs3994
      @blinkbubs3994 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      could you give an example of him projecting/assuming?
      EDIT: my bad, i mixed up tyler and nick. yeah i think youre right

    • @nolanburrell4808
      @nolanburrell4808 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I’m surprised more people in the comments haven’t been bringing this up because he was aggravating me

    • @ni3070
      @ni3070 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I don't think he thinks everyone feels that way, but isn't it true that many do? Using it positively is quite wonderful right? Also I think he wouldn't want to become model skinny, he just gave an example......but it's true that in order maintain fitness a different motivation is inevitable, but that's definitely easier than losing weight right?

    • @mochimochi6357
      @mochimochi6357 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ni3070 no

    • @BH-ix7nq
      @BH-ix7nq 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Maybe it's more hatred of what he once looked like rather than what he looks like now? Perhaps it's relative. I don't necessarily think it's bad to use hate or even fear as a motivator, but it can obviously become too much. Balance is key in all areas of life

  • @tonystarrfitness
    @tonystarrfitness 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    As a fit person: I love that we're coming to a place of acknowledgement with eating disorders and body dismorphia. Some of the habits people partake in to be"healthy" destroys them mentally. I'm happy to see mental health make it's presence known and less taboo overtime.

  • @jangucreates
    @jangucreates 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i love this one, everyone was such sweet people and they are not colliding. but getting their perspectives out

  • @Van-ff6tq
    @Van-ff6tq 2 ปีที่แล้ว +501

    I see Nicks point, his mentality is pivotal. However his aura is borderline explosive throughout the discussion..

    • @prodigygod1
      @prodigygod1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Wtf does that mean?

    • @sarah.ariias
      @sarah.ariias 2 ปีที่แล้ว +140

      @@prodigygod1 vani means that nick is very aggressive with his arguments and doesn’t leave room for discussion. he’s stubborn and it’s really uninviting.

    • @uigofse
      @uigofse 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      @@sarah.ariias that doesn’t matter, he has the most valid arguments imo

    • @Van-ff6tq
      @Van-ff6tq 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@sarah.ariias Thanks Sari🙂

    • @sirrparker47
      @sirrparker47 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      @@sarah.ariias And his stubbornness is exactly what's gonna make him complete his goal

  • @AvocadoPsoriasis
    @AvocadoPsoriasis 2 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    I loved how Jessica explained their side of things!

    • @oOISekaIOo
      @oOISekaIOo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      She's very well spoken

  • @nicholasfitzgerald8634
    @nicholasfitzgerald8634 2 ปีที่แล้ว +383

    For me, Nick's journey seemed more about other people accepting him than himself. I hope this talk helped him and that he is well.

    • @erickgzpro6865
      @erickgzpro6865 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Nah sometimes you need people to accept you too in order for you to accept yourself or to grow into someone better. Don’t get too comfortable. I was really skinny skeleton. People would always say how weak and skinny I was. I felt insecure. Their comments motivated me to build muscle. And I was really happy after getting buff. Without them, I wouldn’t have gotten here. But hey not everyone think the same. That’s just how i evolved :)

    • @LateNightChess
      @LateNightChess ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Grow a brain! Nicks journey is about himself and changing the world around him! He has to be a role model and that pressure is what makes him wake up and put up the work! He is doing a great job

    • @3beatsprod863
      @3beatsprod863 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He'll be fine, he's probably the most aware out of all of them since he realises self-awareness will lead him to become the best version of himself rather than settling for today's unhealthy standards

    • @AC-iz7eh
      @AC-iz7eh ปีที่แล้ว +1

      As he said he hated himself and because of that he wants to improve. He's not doing this because of other people, he is doing it for himself

    • @BelgraviaTottie
      @BelgraviaTottie ปีที่แล้ว

      @@3beatsprod863He’s hardly lost any weight and that’s because of his mindset and the outlook he had, I think he’s actually gained some. He’s active on tiktok, because he literally did it out of hatred for himself, and he did the extremes like starving himself which he acknowledges on TikTok. If he had worked on his mental health, he could have been genuinely successful

  • @elginvoon8285
    @elginvoon8285 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Reject Modernity, Embrace Strength

  • @g__e__o
    @g__e__o 2 ปีที่แล้ว +390

    I feel like Nick is looking for the approval of the whole world but himself.

    • @poppaquesobeats7638
      @poppaquesobeats7638 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes

    • @ravioli8959
      @ravioli8959 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You put it perfectly

    • @TheExtremeCube
      @TheExtremeCube 2 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      Not really, he is giving answers which 90% of the people here are not approving, if hes looking for approval he really sucks at it, though to me he seemed authentic

    • @Ray03595
      @Ray03595 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      how? That is the worst attempt at trying to look for people's approval i have ever seen if so 🤣

    • @zaimzainal6635
      @zaimzainal6635 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I dont think so

  • @alyatalitha3717
    @alyatalitha3717 2 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    I thought the middle ground was "body neutrality" is it not?

    • @realSimoneCherie
      @realSimoneCherie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Idk but I prefer body confidence or at least body acceptance. Most ppl aren’t neutral about their toothpaste brand, why be neutral about your body?

    • @coolio4843
      @coolio4843 2 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      @@realSimoneCherie body neutrality is about caring about the healthy of your body not the appearance. I care about how my toothpaste works not how it looks.

    • @alyatalitha3717
      @alyatalitha3717 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@coolio4843 exactly. Thank you.

    • @StephanieLexis
      @StephanieLexis 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @Johannes Body neutrality is recognizing the function of your body, rather than the aesthetic of it.

    • @poocrayon4588
      @poocrayon4588 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Actually most people aren't obsessed and wondering whether they love their own bodies or not. Maybe teenage girls are but most people aren't.

  • @aliou07z
    @aliou07z ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Nick, what a gigachad

  • @abbiejosephine2940
    @abbiejosephine2940 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    i didn’t know i had body dysmorphia until my therapist questioned me, and my anxiety based of judgment on my body from other people and comparing my body to other people.
    i went through a patch a few years ago where i barely ate and lost loads of weight, which was then fueled by people complimenting how i looked, but i was so ill.
    when i became happier with myself in 2020, i then gained all the weight, and more back on, because at that point i was happy. however, then i noticed how i’d gained weight and had to buy bigger clothes, and became extremely insecure, so i went on a calorie maintenance diet for about half a year and set myself a goal.
    i had reached that goal in september/october time this year, however now it’s got to a point where i want to maintain, but just binge eat and then feel extremely self conscious and just want to wear baggy clothes. i feel stuck in this loop, and self acceptance and love is so difficult to reach

  • @pattycannon1804
    @pattycannon1804 2 ปีที่แล้ว +323

    Authentic body positivity is consistently eating healthy and working out with the intention to live longer and give your joints, bones and muscles some relief.

    • @realSimoneCherie
      @realSimoneCherie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Living longer is the life goal that fit influencers assume everyone else has.

    • @RoseJackson1607
      @RoseJackson1607 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      ok guru

    • @agoodwasteoftime
      @agoodwasteoftime 2 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      A lot of the body positivity movement is also rooted in disability activism. Those people can't always work out or eat as healthy. If they work out it'll probably make their joints bones and muscles worse and leave them in a lot of pain. Healthy food may not be as accessible to them because of allergies or intolerances, or sensory issues. They may not be able to afford it because of the poverty that medical bills may put them in.
      Body positivity is about loving your body for what it is in the now. My body will not change overnight, no matter what i do, so why should I hate it? Why should i be told its wrong? It has nothing to do with health. My health is not your business. You worry about your health and i'll worry about mine. All you need to do is just accept my body and move on, cause preaching this stuff only makes it worse for a lot of us.

    • @nikotakai8796
      @nikotakai8796 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@agoodwasteoftime why should I accept someone else's body but not his (un)healthy way of living?

    • @richardsantanna5398
      @richardsantanna5398 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@realSimoneCherie
      It's not just about living longer. It's about enjoying your life more because you look better and have more energy.

  • @aseelali7909
    @aseelali7909 2 ปีที่แล้ว +295

    What if Nick loses all the weight and reaches his goal physique but the self-loathing never goes away? He needs to heal inside and find love for himself because there’s no guarantee that weight loss or any other physical change will lead to happiness. I pray he finds healing mentally and physically.

    • @loganslocum4799
      @loganslocum4799 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Yea this comment is cringe

    • @joemfahey
      @joemfahey 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I mean he is doing the physical part of healing....so its a start

    • @becca-tg5pn
      @becca-tg5pn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      a lot of his self hate comes from the fact that he isn't happy with his body

    • @HastelloyC276
      @HastelloyC276 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      L comment

    • @ElGuapo96
      @ElGuapo96 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      🤓🐈

  • @Darthpuffi_Sub_Pls
    @Darthpuffi_Sub_Pls 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This channel has changed my veiw on life and other people so much and I'm honestly thankful. I feel this has helped open my mind

  • @Mar_The_Star
    @Mar_The_Star ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I’m happy to see this was a respectful discussion. Everyone listened to each other. And all had one thing in common.

  • @saharabond5680
    @saharabond5680 2 ปีที่แล้ว +423

    i feel for nick. He’s obviously extremely depressed and i hope he can learn to love himself as a motivator to lose weight. not the other way around.

    • @dannys4831
      @dannys4831 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      hes not, hes in the right mind

    • @alyreadsbooks7560
      @alyreadsbooks7560 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think trying to change your body is a one way to develop an eating disorder or at least unhealthy thoughts. Imo working out for the sake of working out is better

    • @15xChampions
      @15xChampions 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Just because he's on a weight loss journey doesn't mean he's depressed. Everyone seems to be a psychiatrist in the comments. Stop looking up to people promoting unhealthy ways of living. Nicks doing great.

    • @Ronin.97
      @Ronin.97 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      he was depressed he probably feels the best he ever has in his life right now. stop projecting onto him. ive been this dude and i met alot of dudes at the gym in the same position they are so happy they are finally improving themselves for the better and are hopeful for their future

    • @Grizzs
      @Grizzs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That loving yourself mindset dosen't work for everyone, sometimes you have to push yourself into almost a self fight in order to improve.

  • @tellercamille8080
    @tellercamille8080 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    6:27 no this is how you skinny shame: “you have a prepubescent/noodle body” “you have no muscles because youre lazy”

    • @Bee4Reel
      @Bee4Reel 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Right like “you need to eat more” “where’s your booty?” (For blk girls)

    • @commar6088
      @commar6088 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      “ you are not girly enough “, “ why don’t you eat “, “ how come you are so thin “

    • @marieaude3685
      @marieaude3685 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@jumpdumppyy But a lot of people assume (actual) skinny people are lethargic, unfunny, vulnerable and sad people, that they are letting themselves die or are so physically fragile they will break if they get a hug. They will always look like a child and will most likely be treated like it : "you need to have more fun, and not starve yourself", "you should eat a cake", "you are going to die", "you probably can't carry heavy stuff", "you look like a dead body", " you must be full of deficiency"... that is what skinny shaming is !
      Also, skinny people have everyday problems too : they can't find clothes that fits or wear watches or adult jewels, they can't ride attractions, nor sit on an un-cushioned chair comfortably for exemple.

    • @toastttttttt
      @toastttttttt 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      there is no right or wrong way to shame someone.

  • @vc3643
    @vc3643 2 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    Being in medical field, I do look at it from a perspective on improving medical outcomes. Weight loss and strength training are proven to reduce heart disease, diabetes, and strokes. Evidence based medicine measure these as clinical outcomes in clinical trials. I would always encourage people to get fit for the sake of their physical health, but not shame them as that is a detriment to mental health. I would say though if for obese or morbidly obese people, they are likely to have a shorter lifespan and potentially more medical conditions if they do not change their lifestyle. If they can accept that fact and be happy with their life more power to them; but medically, we are trying to prolong your life and improve quality of life.

    • @synchronium24
      @synchronium24 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      "I would always encourage people to get fit for the sake of their physical health, but not shame them as that is a detriment to mental health."
      " If they can accept that fact and be happy with their life more power to them"
      It doesn't matter how many reasonable caveats you give. For the woke crowd, pseudoscience is a feature, not a bug.

    • @marcusgraham812
      @marcusgraham812 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@synchronium24 No but if they accept that fact they are essentially giving up on themselves, why accept it when it can be changed unlike genetic conditions. By accepting it you are giving in to ease and comfort which is not a respectable choice in my opinion. Going through pain and difficulty to change that is what loving yourself is, letting yourself be overpowered by your desires at the detriment of health is an act against yourself.

  • @fucked_up_potato3139
    @fucked_up_potato3139 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    They didn't have room for a third one... How sad

  • @jennalex1150
    @jennalex1150 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I dont agree with how they talked about how skinny shaming is. When I get skinny shamed it wasn’t like “oh you’re so skinny wow”. No it was more “you look so skinny you should eat more, you look sick it’s disgusting”. Being skinny-thick is the standard, not skinny-flat.

  • @alexacheri
    @alexacheri 2 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    i strongly agree with nick on the first question. there are many influencers who promote being unhealthy as over-weight by saying "just love yourself its all you need" when it can lead to many health issues and problems with you and your self confidence overall.

  • @PaulVece
    @PaulVece ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I hope they're all doing well, but especially Nick. He's about a textbook case of body dysmorphia as it gets. My gf (and just perspective bc it can happen, she's a naturally tiny in shape person) has dealt with the same thing since her teenage years. At first, it was so frustrating for her to explain it to me, bc, as I've since learned, unless you experience yourself, it's almost impossible for it to make sense. She came up with the best analogy that finally made me get it 'it's objectively knowing who you are and how you look, but at the same time looking at yourself in a fun house mirror". I just hope everyone is doing ok.

  • @TT-gm2di
    @TT-gm2di 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love this middle ground series!!!

  • @sinqobilesibiya7391
    @sinqobilesibiya7391 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Allen's fine and that's all imma say 😍😂

    • @AllenYe
      @AllenYe 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      thanks :)

  • @aliceleoneciaone1
    @aliceleoneciaone1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I really enjoyed this. Everyone was respectful and considerate!

  • @rubentorres3875
    @rubentorres3875 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Omg i really loved this one !!! I loved the way they all talked and really communicated and really think they have different perspectives but really made me open my eye

  • @jackpaul7102
    @jackpaul7102 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Life is simple. You only need 2 things:
    1) Mind your own business.
    2) Show mutual respect.
    That's the formula for a happy society.

    • @Smithpolly
      @Smithpolly 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Except that doesn't always work in practice. In a society , people have to interact and what one person considers to be respectful and minding their own business may not be what another person considers to be respectful and minding their own business.

  • @peytonrose6445
    @peytonrose6445 2 ปีที่แล้ว +463

    Nick has some serious self-esteem problems that he should work through because just getting fit isn't his problem there are a lot of people who get really fit and are still unhappy with who they are and I think eventually he'll figure that out because what he's doing to his body is totally not okay and even though there will be short-term benefits what he's doing now will probably stem into an eating disorder

    • @creativeartivity
      @creativeartivity 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Genuinely curious, what do you believe his problems are? While I agree some people have a hard time identifying their problems, I also find it hard to believe that a 20 minute video is sufficient information to assume that he may have more going on behind the scenes. He could, maybe he probably does, but I still see it as a baseless assumption.

    • @liamneeson8918
      @liamneeson8918 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Dude your talking as if you’ve read his mind, just because some people still aren’t happy after they’ve lost weight doesn’t mean he’ll be one of those people. I know people who are like Nick, they are sad or depressed about being overweight but once they became fit they would radiate happiness.

    • @GirlDo3
      @GirlDo3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      And the way he mentionned middle school and high school bullying makes me think he used to get bullied. Changing the way you look won't change the trauma of getting bullied. I know fit guys that used to get bullied and they are still mentally fucked because of it.

    • @baygon2993
      @baygon2993 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      People like you are the exact reason why people failed to lose weight
      Instead of giving encouragement
      You makes them doubt their ability to lose weight

  • @mlhmpton100
    @mlhmpton100 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This is a very deep conversation. I truly appreciate it.

  • @babyboy770
    @babyboy770 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I always find it interesting in these videos that the same acceptance people want is the unacceptance they use against the other side. But I'm glad these type of conversations are happening.

  • @xochilsilva1357
    @xochilsilva1357 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    "let us do our mukbangs" I don't think he realizes...there are young impressionable children watching these and thinking it's okay to eat that much at once. Something SHOULD be said about eating that much in one sitting...doesn't matter what you say you do behind the scenes...viewers are only seeing....you binge

  • @julianahebenstreit9722
    @julianahebenstreit9722 2 ปีที่แล้ว +217

    Woulda been nice to see someone represent the skinny shaming question, otherwise leave it out. It isn't about the people who choose (models) to be skinny, but those who naturally can't gain weight or have health conditions.
    I have had trouble my whole life, no matter how much I eat, and being underweight even a little bit can cause a lot of health problems.
    I've had nurses at the ER ask me how I got my skinny body, while I am sick and desperately trying to put on in order to have the energy to heal. I'm wanted to say to those people.... Um, try having an autoimmune disease and daily nausea and adenomyosis?
    Making sure I stay at a weight that doesn't give me foggy brain...is a daily struggle.
    Both sides have disadvantages. You can't find clothes, I can't find resources to gain weight healthily.

    • @typiskt___5409
      @typiskt___5409 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Mmmmm I was really pissed about the clothes part because really skinny people can’t find clothes in store often. I go dizzy when I eat bad. I won’t be able to see if I move too fast just because I’m really tall and skinny.

    • @soybean3423
      @soybean3423 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@typiskt___5409 But the advantage is that a lot of kid/teen clothing looks more and more mature so you could still find stuff that looks 'normal' :)

    • @typiskt___5409
      @typiskt___5409 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@soybean3423 Im 181 cm. Don’t think so.

    • @eridiance9818
      @eridiance9818 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@typiskt___5409 im 192cm 135lbs, it’s impossible to find pants in physical stores

  • @SaifAlikhan-wy1zs
    @SaifAlikhan-wy1zs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Hearing Nick hit home for me.
    I too went through the same things Nick went through.

  • @AaronBinaday
    @AaronBinaday 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    You don't need to be a medical professional to know what's healthy or not.

  • @cobalt6112
    @cobalt6112 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Love Nick. Very inspirational.