How Perfectionism Ruins your Career & Relationships | And 4 Ways to Overcome It
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
- When does trying to be perfect backfire?
When the wrong type of 'Perfectionism' takes over it can keep you STUCK and unproductive! You end up self-sabotaging and holding yourself back at work and in life. You limit your success, and your happiness.
If you can relate to this perfectionism thing and you find that it holds you back (like it almost did to me with this email), then you DEFINITELY want to watch this episode where I share:
• What perfectionism really is,
• The two primary dimensions of perfectionism (and how it’s not always bad!), and
• My 4 favorite strategies to work through it so that you can get un-stuck!
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How do you prevent yourself from falling into the 'Perfectionism' trap? I'd love to see in the comments so that we can all learn from each other! 😊
I'm trying to be learn more and improve myself
You're doing valuable work. I have watched many of your videos and I just want to say keep up the good work.
Don't compare to others. Be a full fill human being. That means fire 🔥full energy input on ur goal. That my guru advice.. Pls tag heart❤ symbol shade........
I WANNA EDIT VIDEOS LIKE YOURS. 💙✍️👨💻
This video didn't perfectly define perfectionism, you must admit there's more to it
The best 7.49 minute for today ❤️
I second this 👍
Strive for excellence rather than maladaptive perfection
1. Evaluate your intent- perfection should not be your goal.
2. Re evaluate your standards- keep your expectations in check. Be realistic
3. Reset your standards and commit- don't be a maximizer
4. Expose yourself to imperfection
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” Sharing some love from small TH-camr
*Perfection doesn’t exist - because the world around us - isn’t perfect!*
Desperately waiting for such kind of video from your side... Thanks for sharing these Amazing Tips... May God Bless You 🤲
You're most welcome and God Bless you too! It's been an extremely busy couple of weeks with our business but my husband put in extra effort to get this edited and sent out ASAP today. 😊
How could you possibly condense so much important information under 8 minutes? Very helpful video ❤
We work hard at it and practice makes perfect! Not the perfectionism type that is. 😂
@@ShadeZahrai lol😂😂
Mam, i am lagging in confidence....
Yes I have communication skills but sometimes I don't know what happen to me..... . Your advice pls
I'm sorry to hear that Vipin. It is very difficult to give advice on what to do to regain confidence as there are so many possible root causes. A good place to start is to gain clarity about what is causing this loss in confidence by reflecting objectively. This means making time to sit quietly and allowing your mind to reach a state of calm. Then I recommend that you write your thoughts but not in the first person - instead in the third person (e.g. Vipin has been feeling...). Ask yourself questions and meditate on the answers then write your answers as if you are describing another person. This technique of 'Psychological Distancing' can really help you. It takes practice at first before it gets easier and becomes more effective.
One other approach that my husband and I also use is prayer combined with mediation. There is enormous power in sincere prayer asking for guidance and assistance, followed by quiet meditation on resolving the issue, follower by making a decision and acting on that decision immediate with faith that the right answer, the right book or the right guidance will come.
Sending you our very best wishes.
@@ShadeZahrai Thank you mam, I will definitely implement this.
Very useful information, will repost at our blog selfhelpchampion. You should be on Lisa's Women of Impact Channel. Best wishes🙏🙏
Laughing at myself here because its taking me months to select and buy a 📱 haha 😄 I can relate with that client.... 80/20 rule works well
🎯💎🏆 Great insightful & fruitful video 🏆💎🎯
PLEASE MAKE A VIDEO ON HOW NOT TO WORRY ABOUT FUTURE AND FAILURES IN LIFE AND GIVE YOUR BEST EACH DAYS !! I AM IN STRESS OF QUALIFYING EXAM *_*
Thanks a bunch Dear sister Shade, i really needed to hear this.. yet again!
'A Great contrubution to 21 century humanity these videos of yours are...' - *The Wise Yodda by Lucas* 🍷👍
Omg i am an unhealthy perfectionist who maximises stuff, also i think your name is amazing :)
This video was the highlight of my day
You can easily to saying it's ok to not perfect when you are flawless😭
Probably the best video of today🤩
For once, I would like to congratulate your husband for such amazing video editing the soft music behind.
Great work!
😘 You are the BEST 😘
This video helped me to understand myself, like nothing ever could.. Thank You so much..
Thank you for your insights. I guess analysis paralysis relates strong with perfectionism. Maybe impostor syndrome too. I feel that all of that relates to past criticism (not feedback) and bullying. The past criticism grows the fear of failure and with that, the perfectionism behaviour.
Critiques are welcome who tell us good and bad, but critics who tell us only the bad, are welcome only when I ask for feedback. Critics have helped me improve too. But, the bottom line is to focus on oneself, not others. Improve oneself from the current state, check competition for inspiration, doing something different, etc., but not for focussing on them, but one's own strengths that maybe the competition does not have. Competitors can be unintentional teachers, so why shun them. Bottom line, believe in oneself, but not blindly, sometimes test one's beliefs.
Please,make video on how to be mindful and concious
idk theres something about your eyes, some kind of positivity, i feel like your eyes can convey the message even if you aren't speaking.
Your communication and it's tone is superb. Could you provide me some tips to improve my communication?
This was helpful for me thanks !!
Glad it helped!
WoW! I have been struggling to be perfect in my work And u have clearly explained how to overcome it, this video has much value and this will be timeless and help people
So glad!
Evergreen video for sure
Just made my experience more deep thanks very much
Thankyou for this great video. This is so useful❤️💓💕
OMG, that is me. Never happy with myself & the outcomes of my work. Can't make any decisions since there might be something better. Now I know why, I'm going to try the ways you mentioned, hopefully, it'll help.
Have a happy life Mam Shade Zahrai. You spread full love from your side to the public from your helping videos. A lot of love from Pakistan.
Thanks Shade.
I am this guy who has had this maladaptive perfectionism and working to deal with it for good, I remember around this time of the year, one year ago I was at a dark place with severe gastrointestinal pain, back pain from working waaaay beyond the normal working hours. This was made worse because I was refraining from asking for help in an effort to "look" like I know when I didn't. It has been quite a journey and I am working on myself daily by God's grace.
Since I discovered your channel I have absorbed so much value from your clips.
May God add value to every portion of your life just as you are pouring out yourself to us.
You're brilliant. It's amazing how everytime I watch videos, I feel like you're talking to me. Im always learning something new from you. Appreciate it Shadè 👍👍👍
You are so welcome 🙏🏽😊
This video change my morning mood thank you so much for making amazing content...
Great insights !! Thank you !!
I watch your videos but seriously your vibes are really positive.
Thanks a million
Ugh- being a perfectionist no doubt takes a toll on my mental health. I feel like I have such a deeply ingrained fear of failure especially at work. The funniest thing is that I'll come across my co-workers mistakes (my bosses as well) and the world doesn't end. I have a lot of unlearning to do 😳
Kudos for acknowledging this. You said it right 'unlearning'. Which then needs to be supplemented with new habits to break from old patterns of behavior. Often that fear of failure comes from an intense need for control, safety, approval or any combination of the 3. 'Naming' the root cause of that fear can help you 'tame' to it. I find journaling in the third person is an effective way to understand where our habits come from and then to start shifting that internal dialogue.
I always wake up on this motivated videos☺️
Thanks for such informative videos✌🏽
Oh my god it's so precise and eloquently explained.... 🙏
This was in my mind for a long time but I could not explain it....
Maladaptive Perfectionism.
Glad it was helpful!
Thanks a bunch of the advice. That was very helpful.
thanks for breaking it down and explaining each part
No problem!
I always listen to your speech and I know I can make changes in life 👍
Wow. Thank you so much. That helped a lot. Saved me lots of time!!
Glad it helped Lucas!
Ma'am, Can you pls make a video on Health & work.....BTW I am wondering about your age....may be 30???
This helps me a lot, thanks for the tips.
What about Steve jobs perfectism 🤔 (iphone and mac doesn't look good)
Wonderful Shadé...It's Very Important Information. Thank you
Thank you!
You are very talented and classy woman!
Respect
Your expressions are too very appealing ma'am.
I'm thankful to you Shade.. for sharing small tips to us ; though i dont comment that much... ! It's a great kick...Much love shade
🌹 withoutrespect loveislost withoutcaring loveisboring withouthonesty loveisunhappy withouttrust loveisunstable
Really great communication skills
This video helped me a lot. It's like every sentence is made for me. You are doing a great work by enhancing many people's lives. Keep the good work going.
There is not a single video left on your channel which i haven't watched yet , and I can clearly say you and your content both are really amazing.
First time I watched....
I Like these videos ....I know it will help to improve my thoughts....
Thanks madam,
Your efforts are really valuable
Thanks again for your contribution to self improvement ❤❤❤
Thank you Zahrai for making my life easier. I used to beat up myself. Now, after watching your video, I realized that adaptive perfectionism can make your mornings brighter and full of gratitude.
Amazing content, really helpful, thank you Shadé and Faysal✌️
Our pleasure!
It's really...cool explanation abot perfectionist...thank u
God bless you! I just love your videos honestly! I find them very helpful indeed! Thanks a lot!! Loved your personality & soon I'll be able to transform mine too, God willing! Thanks again!❤😇🤩
Waaoowwww ma'am... I am immensely impressed by the accent and the content of yours. I wasn't aware about this. Glad to learn a new thing today. It helped me to change my mindset. Thanks a gazillion ma'am... Keep creating these amazing tutorials and video lessons for us... Ma'am you deserve millions of likes, shares, subscribers... 😊😊😊. I am highly impressed.
1st. Delusional thinking
Plot out where this is:
Now what you do has a when:
You are a great manager 💪😊
Appreciate you ✊
I didn't even know that this was a common issue. I am way too perfectionist and felt this is how one should be if they want to be successful
Thank you so much dearest mam.. you're really amazing mentor online.. thanx for sharing❤🙏
thanks for sharing, Shade, striving for excellence works
This is perfect advice
I am such a mal-perfectionist that I have to erase my comment several times before I post this. I don't know if you gonna read it or not but I am still confused about some aspects of my mentality about my perfectionism. I know I have suffered a lot In my Architecture school to be a perfectionist but I don't know what to crave for if not perfection. Ultimately you can not provide 100%. But if you don't try to achieve 100%, how are you going to deliver the best solution to your client? and if you don't give your best aren't you cheating your client?
Awesome content... You are perfect ❤️
It's truly amazing how the only beings on this planet that care about being perfect are humans. Yet this pathological need drives so many to make choices that more then often causes such angst and inner psychic pain. Perhaps you could speak to how embracing one's "imperfections" is a way to learn how to just be in the moment. My horses will never win a race, nor any riding contest but they have taught me that character, courage and the willingness to try is more important than doing something perfectly. I once watched a woman riding her $20,000 pure blooded Arabian have a complete meltdown as a flock of geese landed near it. My rescue horse, a Belgian cross just stood there calm and cool. She asked me " Why my horse didn't react?" I said " Because I let him make mistakes and not ask more of him then he is willing to give." Being perfect is a myth, doing everything perfectly is an illusion only humans care about it much to our detriment.
Irrational thoughts. How true! And yet we call ourselves rational animals?!
You are obviously a brilliant lady. But why do you dig so deeply and critically into Perfection? Great athletes Must go all out to achieve Perfection if they want to win medals. So perfectionism is a must in certain endeavors.
You are thoughtful and caring and I learn so much from your videos. You have wisdom , the rare rare attribute. Thanks very much
I really like your videos and value your views and efforts on every thought. I want to request you to pls share a video on a person who is a maladaptive perfectionist, who never critize own performance and capabilities but always expecting others to be that perfect for all lil things in the same way obviously which is never possible, and so always critizing every person, can't delegate and not happy with anyone. What should we call that person and what can be the approach to deal with such person. More specifically, this is in personal family relationship. Thanks
Ignore trollers and keep shining mam. You don't how many newbies are prepare or updating there skills by just viewing your videoa
Not being perfect is being perfect 😂
Introducing yourself is a good method of advertisements at beginning of clips but it can be boring if do frequently
Your contents are well researched.
Thank you for nice presentation.
I love to watch your videos mostly because your videos content are mostly on handling real life situation .it's keep motivating me making me a better person each day . such a small suggestion stop being so attractive so I can concentrate on your information not on you .thank you & keep it up . 👍👏
Nobody in this world who is completely perfect now, yesterday,or tomorrow.
2:29 that wheelie came out of nowhere 😂😂😂
Thanks for making this video on very important topic which everybody can relate from
may be she was trying to make not-perfect video :)
Exactly 👍🏽 😊 A loud bike was passing by interrupted our recording so my husband decided to keep it in the final edit.
@@ShadeZahrai that's good 👍
🍃🌾🕺🏽💥
These small videos can totally shift my mood and really just make me understand what I am feeling and how to fix it. Thank you shadé
I'm going to share this with my daughter she's a perfectionist
omg the hotel thing sounds like me!!🤣🤣🤣 so bad
How can you be so glowing and full of life all the time.. R I living in a parallel universe or r u incredible rich!!?
Thank you for the kind words. My husband and I work long hours with our business and also make time to produce these videos. Helping others brings us a lot of joy.
We know people who are incredibly rich that are very unhappy and those who live with modest means yet are full of gratitude, generosity and kindness. Having a more positive, optimistic and productive existence is a choice. 😊
OMG I never expected a reply.. This in itself is a testimony of the fact as to how hard you work.. And yes I agree with you.. Great work.
😊🙏🏽
Thank you for this valuable video ❤❤❤
You’re kind of amazing, by the way.
The way you speak is really beautiful😍 👍👍
This has been my problem for a long time
This is a great channel i dont get how you dont have more subscribers with sutch good content
Why your all videos perfectly fit on myself feels like you make videos only for me 😂
I could drink Shadé's words every day
But you are soooo perrrrfect @
Shadé Zahrai 😢
Mam please make a video on Effective use of "Dopamine"
How can I write a perfect comment??? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Now I know why I have commitment issues.
Valuable content!
Ironical.. coming for a perfect person..
This is perfect 🙂
My biggest problem 🙆♂️
Journaling in the third person video plz
Your video episodes are beneficial to me.
Whenever i saw your face, forget about the career for a while 😊