How to handle criticism gracefully: verbal and non-verbal techniques that help deal with negativity
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 มิ.ย. 2024
- #jamilamusayeva #etiquette #howtohandlecriticism #bodylanguagetips
How to handle criticism gracefully: verbal and non-verbal techniques that help deal with negativity | In this video, I will show and explain a few verbal as well as body language techniques that you can use in order to deal with negative comments and toxic remarks. All of these techniques have been tested by me in personal and professional life and I know for sure that they work for everyone. It takes time to build the confidence and draw boundaries but sometimes it is best to "fake it till you make it." Fake it using these techniques until you learn to grow a thicker skin and brush off negativity easily.
What are your personal ways of handling criticism? Share your tips! Your tips might help others as well.
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16:19 "No one should take your presence for granted. Your presence is a gift to someone else. Your presence in their life, in that room is a moment to be shared. And if they are not appreciating this, they don't deserve your presence. So learn to walk away when you don't feel comfortable." Read that again :)
❤️
Amen!
Gonna use this as a caption on my post❤
Timestamp of the video (mostly for myself):
1- Ignoring 0:56
2- Avoiding eye contact 4:19
3- The use of language 8:37
4- Taking control over your emotions 13:45
5- Removing yourself physically 15:40
Thanks. She really needs to put chapter markers in when making a 20 minute video.
@@enginepy or preferably get to the point, without overly explaining herself
@@leslieuribe6982 so true. She does go on and on.
What an intelligent human Jamila is! Jamila has potential to be a hostage negotiator. Honestly! Being sincere here! God bless you!
She can be a good ambassador ❤
Intelligence agency is hiring smart calm and composed women to be hostage and crisis negotiators. Terrorists will give up hostages more easily when an attractive calm and composed woman is dealing with the negotiation process. Just food for thought. If attractive intelligent women thought outside the box when it comes to their career choices they'd really change the world in a postive way. @@Carmen0777
Altough Jamila's approach is very valuable I would like to add that it also depends from case to case. Not everything is black or white and sometimes, an angry person is someone that just needs a litlle bit of attention and love. There are no excuses for any type of abuse and no one should put up with it but I'm speaking from my experience here as I once was very angry (I don't remeber exactly the circumstances) however a lovely eldery lady approached me asking me "what's wrong dear?' and her action immediately softened me...I felt heard and felt seen and most importantly, I'll never forget her and her kindness towards me. Her lovely 'manners' served me as a beautiful example that kidness also goes a long way.
Yes, I was thinking the same thing and even left a comment asking if it's OK to try to de-escalate the situation. Ignoring someone might be best if you feel angered and worried about losing composure, but if you are calm, I'd imagine it's good to try to calmly and kindly validate their feelings and then reason with them. If that doesn't work, then at THAT point it seems like a good thing to just ignore. But people that are upset definitely don't want to be ignored...they want to be heard and understood.
I know in the past, if I've lost my cool and snapped at someone or yelled/cried about a certain issue, it has been very hurtful and more angering when someone ignores me. It's as if they are saying, "You're feelings do NOT matter to me and I'm indifferent to your existence." Hate that feeling!
I had a co-worker respond with such compassion when I was stressed and snapped at her and broke down in tears...She asked me sympathetically what was REALLY going on with me. Was helpful and of course caused me to want to apologize to her. Had a better day after that interaction, which means better interactions with others the rest of the day.
A gentle answer deflects anger...
- 0:23 🤔 How to handle criticism, negativity, and toxic people
- 0:48 🙉 Most effective: Ignore negativity, treat it as if it doesn't exist
- 1:15 📝 Busy individuals, celebrities often ignore comments for peace
- 2:11 🚫 Recent case: Ignored a heated confrontation, focused on reading
- 3:00 🧘♀ Train to mentally block negativity during in-person encounters
- 4:19 🚫 Avoid eye contact with negative/toxic individuals
- 4:55 👁 Eyes are windows to the soul, avoid allowing negativity in
- 6:00 ❌ Difficulty saying no in person, easier over phone or email
- 8:00 🔇 Silence after breaking eye contact sends a powerful message
- 8:34 🗣 Remaining calm and composed during negativity
- 10:02 🔄 Make them repeat negative statements to make them look foolish
- 12:41 🤔 Ask "why" to make them explain or reconsider their words
- 14:34 🚶♀ Physically walk away or occupy a larger space to assert boundaries
- 17:36 🌐 Nobody will protect you but yourself; learn to draw boundaries
- 18:46 📈 Enjoy life, be true to yourself, stay away from intentional toxicity
I'm so glad you included the part about handling people who are speaking their second language with grace. So many times when I have been speaking Italian (my second language) I realize that I have unintentionally offended someone, and trying to backtrack and explain your intentions when you are embarassed and misunderstood is so hard.
My boyfriend and I speak english and Italian together, and sometimes we accidentally say something hurtful because of mistranslation. Whenever it happens, I say "I think you said something you didn't mean, explain it a different way" because I know he loves me and he wouldn't say something to hirt me on purpose. 100% of the time, it was a mistranslation and his words had a different intention. Giving eachother this grace and moment of explanation before getting emotional is a MAJOR KEY in our communication as a multi-lingual couple.
L
Thank you so much ❤I will try these with someone who always asks questions like: “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” Or “Why don’t you have kids?” Or “Why don’t you have a job?” 😅😂
@ 16:18 " No one should take your presence for granted, your presence is a gift to someone else's life..."
I wish I can teach my kids everything you preach. Such a wise and quality woman. Your partner, children, family and friends are so lucky to have you in their lives.
The use of language - are you okay?
I love this one.
Wonderful content and sound advice, Jamila. You're absolutely right. These are golden rules to live by on a daily basis. By keeping yourself grounded, respectful and calm, mindfully self aware of your defined boundaries and detached from negative people in any odd situation is always the best way to keep yourself safe since it could be even life threatening if we engage with potentially highly toxic and dangerous individuals. Self respect is fundamental and time is always worth investing for your own health, well-being and safety. Thank you so much for your continuous educational support 🙏🏻⚘
Thank you so much for your kind message 🙏🏻
Young people need to hear this!!!
for someone who really struggle with any sorts of arguing, these advices are pure gold. Thank you so much!
You're so welcome!
Great advice. That said, your lesson reminds me of my mother coaching me against bullies in elementary school. This made me realize how some people never grow up. Very sad reality.
Thank you ✨
I always wait for your videos like a kid , yours presence is angelic Ma'am. May god bless you and your family.Please never stop uploading your content. ☺️
The vibe of this video makes me already feel like an elegant woman
Hello, please can you also make a video on how to recover from past mistakes, harsh comments and how to move on.
Jesus Christ has a great video on TH-cam about past mistakes, harsh comments and how to move on called "The Sermon on the Mount" th-cam.com/video/6aZs5IKiXhY/w-d-xo.htmlsi=nAWCHNYbUFfZRFsU
This was great! I was actually more curious about how to handle/receive criticism when it is actually valuable? Like at work when your boss is giving you critical feedback about how to improve or grow in your career. Or a partner is trying to tell you how you can be providing more in the relationship.
Yes me too! I would love a video on that
You simply radiate positivity. I caught myself smiling half a minute into the video just listening to you talk!
That must be a superpower.
You are such an intelligent, elegant lady.Thank you for this information
Wow, thank you!
Love this type of video! Thank you!
Great points Jamila, thank you.
The "could you repeat that?" and "why did you say that?" technique sounds like a good strategy because it forces them to take responsibility for what they said while the general attention has been drawn to them and their inappropriate words. They'll probably never have the guts to do so, since this type of people are usually cowardly folks.
They often do not have the courage to repeat now with intention something that they blurred out in hopes to get away with it.
Jamila, veliki pozdrav, Radomir Eric, Beograd!
This is so good!
This is one of your best videos! It’s different than your usual topics but well done and very needed by your audience. Each example demonstrates the most polite and effective way to resolve other people attempting to agitate your separate inner peace. The realistic situations and your analytical deconstruction of the negative psyches added a lot to each tip. Please make more like these! I don’t see a lot of videos on how to gracefully disperse other people acting ungracious.
Truly love your content Jamilia. I love the way you present information- succinctly and to the point in a very calm way
Yeah, definitely your tips will help me a lot in my life
Great video Jamina... thank you for being who you are ...
That's episode 10000th of Jamila making me emotionally mature💖🎀
☺️🙏🏻
This is excellent.
I have been watching you for 3 years. Thank you so much for very important info.
This is some of the best advice I’ve ever heard and realistic, thank you lovely 🙏❤️
Thank you so much for creating such inspiring and educational content Jamila!
I wish I knew those advice back when I was a teenager. I’ll try to apply them from now on 🙏🏻
Thank you, Jamila! I really appreciate those tips and will implement them. I do tend to lose my temper quickly, but it's something I'm working on
Wooow... u nailed it 👍👍👍👍
Thank you for this calm approach to hurtful comments.
You're welcome❤️
Wow... I learnt so much from this video ..❤
You are such an inspiration ❤️❤️❤️❤️
More videos like these please 🙏🏻
I love this advice. I hate it when I react to negativity in a hasty way because my instinct is to defend myself verbally. But I love the control in these tips.
Thank you for this. It's very important to learn and use in action of life. Why do people need to be that way though? We don't do anything on purpose. Times we just exist as a person with thoughts, ideas, goals, visions, happiness, and it happens.
You always dish out the absolute best content. Love love love.
The "you are not a good person, that is why I am going to leave" has been used and the "are you okay?" It does feel good transmutation of energy negative to positive. Hate to love.
These are excellent tips. Thank you doesn't feel to be enough. You are amazing. The best.
Thank you so much. I really needed this.
Glad it was helpful!
This video is gold, thank you Jamila!
You are welcome
LOVE!
Very true,
thank you ❤😊
You are so welcome
Thank you so much Jamila, excellent video :)
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you Jamilya ❤
Welcome
Thank you Jamila, I loved this video
Glad to hear it ☺️
Excellent video Jamila! And I totally agree with the eye contact point. I once was asked for help by someone I knew didn’t have my best interests at heart. They spontaneously video called. I declined the video call, knowing that it would be easier and more effective to keep my boundaries on a voice call. It worked.
Thanks for sharing!
Absolutely loved it! You're so elegant and your name reflects the really beautiful person that you are. I will definitely use some of these pieces of advice. Thank you so much!
thank you so much for your excellent advices ❤
You are so welcome!
So helpful tips... as usual. Thank you .
Happy to help!
Jamila, you are my inspiration . I dont know you in person and never have i met you, but still i want to be like you. I want to polish myself and give an actual mentual glow up to myself. I want to be my best and your videos help me.
Thanks alot and may god bless u, our teacher❤
Instructive guide!
Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
Loved it. Good information.❤
Glad it was helpful!
Excellent video. Thanks.
You are welcome!
Thank you Jamaila, the video was very helpful.
You’re welcome 😊
Thank you so much! Very helpful video, so many good thoughts.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you Ms. Musayeva. I have watched a few of your videos and each has been filled with helpful reminders and new "On point" teachings of correct etiquette. This video has really been helpful in navigating negative people. I appreciate all the examples you demonstrated. Thank you.
Thank you ❤️
This is good advice. Thank you!
You're so welcome!
Thank you for the valuable tips Jamila! Keeping my boundaries is something I should work on constantly.
Off topic question: I have bought both of your books and the Art of hosting at home ebook as well. I highly recommend them to everyone! Is there a chance that the ebook will also come out as a phisical book? I would love to see it on my shelf next to the other 2 books. Thank you in advance!
Thank you so much
Great tips thank you so much💚 I will apply them on those toxic people I know
You are so welcome!
What an invaluable video ❤
Glad you think so!
Please do a video on how to handle when people lie about you
There's a great quote "What others say about me is none of my business."
Thank you so much Jamila for these very wise ideas! They are very useful, but now I live a difficult situation with my brother, including a matter of money. I cannot escape! He is mean to me and he doesn't understand why I feel so much pain because if his words. But I'm gonna try what you said, even with him!
I totally agree with what you said Jamila, personally this is how I handle criticism/negativity both personal and online. Listen, reflect, and respond with grace and humility.❤
I hope you are doing well Jamila, take care.
Carmen
Grazie! ❤
Thank you Jamila, I really loved the way how you explained the whole process
Glad it was helpful!
You are such a blessing! I will apply these principles! Can't wait to apply as situations may arise. Thank you Jamila!
You are so welcome
Amazing video. Very good content you are putting out there!🎉❤
Thank you so much!
This is so useful thank you so much ! I really need this right now.
Glad it was helpful!
I just discovered your videos and I love them. You are so intelligent, I really want to take notes on every video. Thank you so much for all the tips!
You are so welcome!
May God Bless You !!❤
You are such an inspiration
Keep it up !!
Thank you so much 😀
Thank you very much 😊
Welcome
This one was fabulous I believe I will be watching this again.
Thank you!
Fabulous ✨
toxic people, negative people are actually deep down hurting inside. do not take it personally and the best thing is to walk away
Thank you for your advices. The video is great!
HAPPY & BLESSED YEAR to you and your loved ones!!!💐💐💐🎆🎆🎆🎊🎊🎉🎉🎉🥂🥂🍾🍾
Same to you!❤️
I like your vlogs Jamila. Thank you❤❤ and more power!!
I am a Filipino watching from Bahrain.
These are very helpful tips and the last one, which is related open body language is applicable to many format gatherings or situations. Keep going. You are always beautiful.
Thank you ☺️
Mrs Jamila,
Your videos are like a gift,
Teaching me to develop,
Helping me find new skills.
I am grateful to God,
For bringing your videos,
Your wisdom, to my life.
I've learned so much from you,
From self-development,
To dealing with critics too.
I feel blessed to watch your videos,
With admiration
Jamila as always you are a gift for us that we have opportunities to listen to you and watch your videos! Great advices! Can you please make a video how to remain calm and balanced in these times with so many toxic people and stress. God bless you!
Noted ☺️
Great video ❤ You are so wise and graceful. Perfect example for younger generations 🥰
Thank you so much!
The best vidéo ❤
Thank you
If someone is yelling on me , I can’t just sitting and ignoring this person . Because I physically feel bad at this moment , my heart rate increase , I feel tremor on my arms , and I actually can start crying
This is a useful video. A series on the topic would be appreciated.
Noted!
You are a very strong and composed woman. Thank you for your talk on such a difficult topic. You have helped me very much to reflect on things that recently happened to me. I appreciate your thoughts.
Wow, thank you ❤️
Thank you for this video, it is extremely helpful. I have oftentimes wondered how to deal with situations like this and when they happen to me in the moment, I feel like I don’t know how to react appropriately. Your video has given me the tools to feel prepared for situations like this. All of the tips you give can be used in many different situations. I truly appreciate your expertise.
You are so welcome!
Tbh, I didn’t need to know about this but when she listed everything and what to do. I found myself doing all of them. I feel it would also be good if you have empathy, you feel more of what Jamila is saying. Its also gentleness the spirit of it
Ur such a smart women❤i'm 23 and i'm glad now i follow your account over two years☺️Forever role model🌟love from turkiye🌸💐
Thank you!
I love you endlessly Dear Jamila God bless you forever 👸💯🧿🙏🥰
Matthew 5:43-48
New International Version
Love for Enemies
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Very nice like always❤
Thank you! 😊
@@JamilaMusayeva welcome
Also, if we don't look someone in the eye when they are upset and yelling at us, I feel we will make them more upset. It seems snobbish and cold. I would imagine the best time to ignore and look away is after you've already tried and failed at reasoning with the person. Idk. I was raised Christian, so maybe it's still in me to always want to show love. I ignored a girl who was yelling at me and the man I was with (she was his ex-girlfriend) and I avoided eye contact. A day later she called me and asked me why I didn't even give her the respect to look at her that day she confronted us. I was confused because when the incident happened, I felt I was being more respectful to NOT look at her. It seems we are all different when it comes to what reactions and behaviors are rude or disrespectful. Makes it difficult to get along with others sometimes.
I really like this video ☺️
Thank you!
Thank you Jamila, I will use your suggestions and specifically I like the fact how you demonstrate assertiveness in your tone. I like most, ignoring even in presence with non verbal cues if required I would like to do minimal talk and disengage with that person assertively when needed as that would work for me
✨ thank you!
Hi Jamila thank you for the very useful content, can you advise how to deal with insincere behaviours or insincere people? In this video you also talk about the perception of the calmer person seeming to be correct from the outside. What if this insincere person is behaving very calmly but because of their insincere behaviour that lets say I've read it several times enough to be provoked but I stayed calm and is invisible to others. I disengaged but they take their own moments to engage with me and I have no patience for superficial and fake interactions even as simple as a hello at a work place. It really incites anger, how to deal with this can you please advise? Would you still advise disengagement and no response and focus on self?