I haven't heard from my avoidant ex in 4 months. She blocked me on her personal IG about a month ago out of nowhere and just last night from her biz account she randomly watched one of my stories and then was the first to view another one that I posted after. She's so lame lmao If you were lucky enough to lose one of these weirdos, let them go. Life gets so much better once you do. I promise. Hang in there people
Mine blocked my phone number on May 5 but hasn’t removed himself from my social media yet even though I told him to remove himself. Sad that after four years of friendship at the core this is what he decides to do. How did you get the strength to completely remove? I think what upsets me the most is the finality of it all.
@@brianhill6842ame thing happened he would keep ignoring me while kept connecting he blamed me for not giving space after 2 months I was the one to reach out n he sd because of my clingy behavior he backed off but he apologized I will never do it n still likes me, from now on he won't ignore, wud text n call but same thing happened I couldn't tolerate it though I didn't call him or text everyday n changed my behavior a bit was same. I blasted him n sd block n leave if u can't commit n show efforts and he did block me.. I'm hurt but I learnt was he never cared n did any effort it was me alone.. I have nt blocked him I don't know if he will reach out
I had this with an ex but our breakup was very dark. And after 3 years or so he suddenly messaged me with the question of how I am doing like nothing happened, I was like dude, you have some nerves to contact me after all we did to each other. I didn't reply ofcourse. But wow I was so baffled he tried again because "I ruined everything he had".
HaHa!! Craig is totally correct!! I have followed everything Craig has said and it never ever fails! The big difference is that now I don’t really want my ex back and he calls me everyday. I really think you have to get to the point that you are not desperately wanting them, then you are in such a position of power! It’s gratifying to feel this way after being hurt so many times before by that person.
Its sad and its also like a full time job dealing with someone like that .Love should be freely given and received.But they place so much restriction on how and what they will show or do at the end its blocking natural flow of life.Its trully sad how some people will go through life like this.
I always felt like walls were going up all over the place. Then he’d say “I will unintentionally hurt you and I don’t want to do that” but then still hurt me anyway. It was the worst pain I ever felt and he knows it.
Ooh yes. I'm not sure if it's a coincidence since anxious types are the ones that are supposedly controlling but my avoidant partner is so controlling. Not about where I go or who I talk to but just everything I do around the house even down to which bowls etc I use , where I park , anything . It got to the point if I was doing something and he came in I would walk out of the room because I knew he would try to micromanage me and it made me so uncomfortable
Everything that you’ve explained in this video is what I am going through rn. I believe that my ex is an avoidant. Him and his had an on and off relationship when he was a child. Now it’s showing it’s true colors now that he’s an adult. Anytime I post on my snap stories, he watches every single one of them. We were together for almost 2 years. We haven’t spoken or seen each other in almost 6 months. I still cry and think about him almost every day. I love him dearly and I hope he reaches out soon to reconnect. Our relationship was amazing overall but I know the avoidant attachment and lack of communication is what killed the relationship. I have anxious attachment so it’s been really hard to not reach out to him. But, I’m willing to stick with it, and I will be working on myself and my attachment during this time. I will be patient with him and let him come back when he’s ready.
I can totally relate to this coming into the relationship as secure and then becoming anxious due to her avoidant behaviours. She wanted to either breakup or have a 6 month break. I asked for no contact and she blocked me on all socials and deleted our photos the same day. Ah wells, let her be.
The main question is: what is the point to be with a person who has absolutely different needs than yours???? They should get a pet instead getting into the relationship with another human being. Leave avoidants alone and let them to deal with their own shit alone.
She driving me crazy she text once an a while. I try to make her feel contrable by saying keep in touch or if she will like to meet but always an excuse. She broke up with me because she supposely to busy with her new job requires lot of hr from her do i belive that crap hell no😂 probably has some one. But she is definetly an avoidant from her pass behaiviors is how i learn about this attachments but jesus i just need to give up and date again can keep doing this.
I left an avoidant 5 times in a year. When I blocked him he would come knocking on my door. I broke off with him 2 weeks ago. I told him thru text don’t come here anymore. It’s been 2 weeks and he hasn’t come to my house. Last time I told him not to come he came anyway. He won’t commit? He’s a bread crumber and a taker. Now I miss him very much😢
They dont have capacity to meet partner's needs. When job, studies, duties become stresfull, they become resenful when you ask for bare minimum so they exit the most disposal thing- relationship
Great video Coach! Your videos are amazing! I can’t seem to find much on short term relationships. Do you have any? I’m going through one right now. 10 weeks no contact. It’s a struggle. It was a 4 month relationship. Doing the creative healing course. Thanks coach 🤘
I agree. We all need more on short term relationships because people aren’t even getting past the initial dating stage to even call them an “ex.” You can’t even tell someone you’d like to take them on a date without them freaking out, but ya know….they will sext you for years. 🙄
I'm not even sure he is fully avoidant, maybe I trigger that in him like he triggers my anxiety. He broke up with me a few times and this time it's been a little over a month, longest so far. It's also a long distance relationship, which makes it more difficult. He still texts me here and there, says he misses me, that he won't delete any pictures and that he still loves me but the "circle ended". I couldn't take it anymore and told him to text me once he wants to work things out, but until then I will respect his decision. So many mixed signals that I was a mess each time he texted. He even said he texted me while half asleep/in his sleep once. Once it was by mistake. So tiring... I feel like I've learned more just this month than all those times from previous break ups.
@@lorip4087 Likewise hun. I’m mostly over him and know I can do better. But it does hurt. Like he hasn’t even checked to see if I’m alive. We both don’t use social media.
There was something that an avoidant friend did when we texted, and that was that every time he noticed I was angry, he would send me a photo of his dog or a landscape because he knew I liked it. It took me a while to realize why he did it, because his behavior confused me quite a bit.
I am so Thankful to learn about the Attachment Theory. I tested Secure Attachment but get with Dissmissives and makes me think maybe I am learning toward Anxious attachment. 🤪
I thank I had to go no contact with my DA for 2 months I am secure I had to walk away because he made no effort. So June 5th he made contact so I will walk it out slow as you taught us so no contact does work.
What about when there are children involved and your ex calls to say “so what’s going on over there?” Or sitting down to hang out for a bit every time he brings the kids home, or sitting next to you at sporting events always!!!
Any conclusions? I would think that those encounters allow a quick escape so that is why they happen. I think being polite but thinking they didn't even exist would be best to stay sane.
Her kids asking my kids about me. She's wanting to spend time with my kids. Messaged my mother. Randomly reaches out to me when she's having a tough day. Yet STILL in her rebound that's going horrible for her. What is going on???
What if you're in no contact but, trying to get over your ex and get back on dating sites? If your ex sees you on these will it hurt your chances at a reconnection? And how would the ex keep tabs on you if your social media accounts are set to private?
I told her that i still love her, I admitted my mistake, I told her that I respect her chiose. I told her that I miss my best friend. That i am ok if she want to talk even for just stupid stuff. I really want to change I’m changing for her but she just don’t care she’s so cold and distant. I just give up. I don’t care anymore.
Its best you don’t even admit you love these people. For people like these you just have to mirror them. The only difference with you and them is that you can still regulate your emotions and feel your feelings, but they are stuck and repressed feelings so they cant even feel
An avoidant here..My ex had a new relationship almost right after the breakup, )which was mostly my fault,) because I repeatedly did some things that made her lost trust. Of course I did all the wrong things back then, like begging and pleading, grand gestures etc and then she jumped into this rebound .. It's been over 3 years since the breakup. The first 2 years I noticed that she posted nothing that it may had to do with us, only the flowers that the rebound sent to her etc. But from April 2022 she started posting things periodically, pictures and songs that I strongly believe are straight messages to me. Should I reach out since I was responsible that I pushed her away?
Move on. She’s probably between relationships and looking for a place holder. If you were all that you would be with the real thing by now. Learn to love yourself. They burn you twice as bad the second time around.
The break up May have been your fault but please don’t keep carrying the guilt, she jumped into a rebound, she probably needed it to get over you. Reach out with grace, space and honesty. I hope you and ex are ok and if anything comes of the ‘meet’ it’s a closure to understand your selves better. Take care
Thanks for videos! Is 2 weeks no response too much for 4 month good relationship with no understandable breakup ? After solo( iwith group to Georgia) trip(2 weeks) she became colder and made conflict, I felt I could not argue to not make it worse. No drama after, just said I am sorry that it happened and I don't wanted it(I just putted bag in wrong place, she's looked for reason to conflict is my guess, after I had time to think and I should not be sorry for that) .(no contact since) She liked few of my social media posts( I have not liked her's) and she did not block me on social media.
Bro!!!!! Holy shit I needed this episode. Im focusing on making money but I would pay anything to talk with u. Uggggh, and Im a Chad but met my damaged match. 🤦♂️
Hi Craig, and people in the comments. I’m two full weeks into my breakup, I’ve attempted no contact but it’s very hard because he says he wants to continue talking about how we’re feeling, and to “periodically get together to have frank talks.” The last time I saw him, he gave me the key back to my apartment. I don’t know how to perceive any of this, is he done or is he wanting to work through things? It feels cruel and confusing. He’s also been very depressed, suicidal and when he broke up with me, it was over the phone during the middle of what seemed like a psychotic episode of some sort. It seemed very impulsive, which caused me to worry for his well-being. He says he needs to be alone in order to “find himself,” and that our relationship only seems to trigger us both. The relationship wasn’t toxic, but we did have very difficult moments, like his inability to express anger due to cptsd or his discomfort with any sort of perceived criticism, when all I felt I was doing was expressing my needs. There were times when I wasn’t as patient with his experience, or didn’t have the capacity to help the way I wanted to due to lots of life changes. I moved to a different city to be with him, changed my life entirely to pursue a future with him, and now we’re here.
You need to think of this like weening off of a drug. What makes someone go back to the drug--cold turkey or slow and gradually decreasing the doses? He is weening himself off so that he doesn't feel the sense of loss but also doesn't have to commit. I'd say no, if you no longer want a relationship with me then I need to cut contact at least until the feelings have subsided.
Sounds very familiar. Keep loving yourself. It took me 6 months and he calls me several times a day for the last few months, but I know that I deserve to be loved by someone who is more emotionally available…sending love
What attachment style does BU over text? Is that avoidant or anxious? It's a blindside over text after 2 years so I don't know if it's avoidant or not...
He ghosted me after three years. I am definitely the anxious one and frustrated him in many ways, but I never thought he would just disappear. I haven't heard a word from him in two weeks. I have been calling but i guess I should go no contact?
Can’t focus on that bud, get some more hobbies to fill the void and to overlap the thoughts, no point spending time thinking about another person that doesn’t care.
My ex just randomly texted me 7 times asking about her ski boots after a month. There’s no snow where she’s at… I was waiting 5 mins to respond and she blocked me before I responded . Gahhhhhhhhhhh I was havin a good day too 😂
I left my avoidant ex 3 months ago, friday night she called me at 1am drunk, locked out her house crying. I called her a taxi to mine. She cried, we shared a bed. The only thing she did in bed were hold my hand. The next day, she baked me brownies and left them outside my front door.
What about blocking after I deleted him? I finally deleted him 8 months after the breakup (all the time no contact), because he still watched every story I posted. After I deleted him, he blocked me?
I'd say at the very least he noticed you deleted him. He likely felt rejected in some way - but take what I say with a pinch of salt! Good luck on your healing journey ✨️
@Alumalu totally get your confusion. From the maaaany "Get Your Ex Back" videos I've seen, the dumper initially doesn't truly feel the loss of the break up because they percieve they're in control and could get you back at any point. Over time, with no contact, you disrupt that assumption, and they can begin to worry they've lost you permanently. Dumpers are human too, and after a long time of silence, they will have their own doubts over *your* position. It just seems like the behaviour of someone on that spectrum! That being said, I don't know for sure. It's just speculative. Have you made strides in this time? Sounds like you have, and I think it's a sensible move removing him from viewing your stories.
@@bethrutherford95 he showed a lot of signs during the months of no contact. Jealousy, (blocking me on facebook after I uploaded pictures with another guy there), then unblocking me because he wanted to know if I was with that guy on vacation, extreme story stalking on whatsapp, he watched my stories everyday, often up to 7 times daily. He never did that during our relationship. And I know that his life isn't good. No new relationship, no friends, he isn't doing anything anymore, no hobbies, vacation, trips. And his father died a few weeks ago. My plan is to contact him in August.
@@bethrutherford95 he also has a big history with fear of rejection. I contacted him first, before our relationship and he confessed me, that he stalked my facebook profile for 10 months but was to afraid to contact me. Because he thought I would reject him. He even told me, if I didn't contacted him first we would be never in a relationship. Because he was so afraid of my rejection.
Hi, ive been married to my wife for 3 years in a long distance relationship, i was going to bring her over to the usa from another country, she ended up telling me she could not come over with me She let the appointment we worked really hsrd to get just pass by We didnt show up And she called a separation in february Went no contact for 2 months Tried reaching out again in late april Then another month of no contact and now she says we are just friends. Yet has not filed any divorce papers Wtf does any of this mean??? Married by church and civil for 3 years and were bf/gf for 4 years I feel like giving up at the current momento
You were long distance and that was what she liked. Changing it broke it. Nothing you can do about that unless you wanted to go back to long distance. But that is virtual.
We have no connections with my ex on any socials,we’re in no contact(I’ve asked her not to contact me as it hurts me),is there any way no contact could work in such case?
My Ex is definitely an avoidant ex. After the breakup she went back to her Ex(they had really long relationship as compared to mine) You see i tried to move on and it was really working and then a month later she texted me while she is still with her ex so i decided to ignore her text. Now she's is stalking my stories in social media (as well as her ex) and then blocking me. Lol. I won't lie it's effecting my mental health all over again. And Yes too many fake accounts viewing my stories lately!
The workbooks are fantastic. If you have not done them. Do it it is worth the money
I appreciate the kind words!
I haven't heard from my avoidant ex in 4 months. She blocked me on her personal IG about a month ago out of nowhere and just last night from her biz account she randomly watched one of my stories and then was the first to view another one that I posted after. She's so lame lmao
If you were lucky enough to lose one of these weirdos, let them go. Life gets so much better once you do. I promise.
Hang in there people
Mine blocked my phone number on May 5 but hasn’t removed himself from my social media yet even though I told him to remove himself. Sad that after four years of friendship at the core this is what he decides to do. How did you get the strength to completely remove? I think what upsets me the most is the finality of it all.
@@brianhill6842ame thing happened he would keep ignoring me while kept connecting he blamed me for not giving space after 2 months I was the one to reach out n he sd because of my clingy behavior he backed off but he apologized I will never do it n still likes me, from now on he won't ignore, wud text n call but same thing happened I couldn't tolerate it though I didn't call him or text everyday n changed my behavior a bit was same. I blasted him n sd block n leave if u can't commit n show efforts and he did block me.. I'm hurt but I learnt was he never cared n did any effort it was me alone.. I have nt blocked him I don't know if he will reach out
My ex purposely uses an alternate account to stalk me, she thinks I don’t know but her cousin told me it’s her lol, why would she do this?
You are correct! They are truly not worth the trouble! It’s taken me a year to be able to just face this fact!
I had this with an ex but our breakup was very dark. And after 3 years or so he suddenly messaged me with the question of how I am doing like nothing happened, I was like dude, you have some nerves to contact me after all we did to each other. I didn't reply ofcourse. But wow I was so baffled he tried again because "I ruined everything he had".
HaHa!! Craig is totally correct!! I have followed everything Craig has said and it never ever fails! The big difference is that now I don’t really want my ex back and he calls me everyday. I really think you have to get to the point that you are not desperately wanting them, then you are in such a position of power! It’s gratifying to feel this way after being hurt so many times before by that person.
Its sad and its also like a full time job dealing with someone like that .Love should be freely given and received.But they place so much restriction on how and what they will show or do at the end its blocking natural flow of life.Its trully sad how some people will go through life like this.
Exactly
I always felt like walls were going up all over the place. Then he’d say “I will unintentionally hurt you and I don’t want to do that” but then still hurt me anyway. It was the worst pain I ever felt and he knows it.
So true.
"Ignore your ex until they will say something significant" sounds like Lucia from Art of Love lmao
All of the "coaches" say the same thing. This is a business
Craig doesnt say this. If anything he argues for the opposite. @Moonfood78
Avoidants in my opinion just have issues with controlling behavours cptsd personality disorders self destructive impulsive
💯
Ooh yes. I'm not sure if it's a coincidence since anxious types are the ones that are supposedly controlling but my avoidant partner is so controlling. Not about where I go or who I talk to but just everything I do around the house even down to which bowls etc I use , where I park , anything . It got to the point if I was doing something and he came in I would walk out of the room because I knew he would try to micromanage me and it made me so uncomfortable
@@rachhhh9722 Doesn't sound like an avoidant at all
Everything that you’ve explained in this video is what I am going through rn. I believe that my ex is an avoidant. Him and his had an on and off relationship when he was a child. Now it’s showing it’s true colors now that he’s an adult. Anytime I post on my snap stories, he watches every single one of them. We were together for almost 2 years. We haven’t spoken or seen each other in almost 6 months. I still cry and think about him almost every day. I love him dearly and I hope he reaches out soon to reconnect. Our relationship was amazing overall but I know the avoidant attachment and lack of communication is what killed the relationship. I have anxious attachment so it’s been really hard to not reach out to him. But, I’m willing to stick with it, and I will be working on myself and my attachment during this time. I will be patient with him and let him come back when he’s ready.
It’s like reading about my own experience … ❤️🩹
@@NIKITA303the only way to heal is become securely attached yourself
I can totally relate to this coming into the relationship as secure and then becoming anxious due to her avoidant behaviours. She wanted to either breakup or have a 6 month break. I asked for no contact and she blocked me on all socials and deleted our photos the same day. Ah wells, let her be.
Any update?
I wish I had this video 8 years ago before I made every single anxious mistake ever
The main question is: what is the point to be with a person who has absolutely different needs than yours???? They should get a pet instead getting into the relationship with another human being. Leave avoidants alone and let them to deal with their own shit alone.
Agreed. They need a porcupine as a pet.
@@ronj9448😂😂😂😂😂 im dying
Avoidants shoukd expect the unexpected. Go totally off the radar and have them going bat shit crazy qondering where you are and what youre doing!
Become more confident and work through attachment styles using my Creative Healing Course or Knowledge Workbooks! 💪
She driving me crazy she text once an a while. I try to make her feel contrable by saying keep in touch or if she will like to meet but always an excuse. She broke up with me because she supposely to busy with her new job requires lot of hr from her do i belive that crap hell no😂 probably has some one. But she is definetly an avoidant from her pass behaiviors is how i learn about this attachments but jesus i just need to give up and date again can keep doing this.
like your channel coach craig from philippines thanks
Please post link of where to get Creative Healing Course
I left an avoidant 5 times in a year. When I blocked him he would come knocking on my door. I broke off with him 2 weeks ago. I told him thru text don’t come here anymore. It’s been 2 weeks and he hasn’t come to my house. Last time I told him not to come he came anyway. He won’t commit? He’s a bread crumber and a taker. Now I miss him very much😢
Yes as soon as he got close and vulnerable he would shut down and back away
They dont have capacity to meet partner's needs. When job, studies, duties become stresfull, they become resenful when you ask for bare minimum so they exit the most disposal thing- relationship
Great video Coach! Your videos are amazing! I can’t seem to find much on short term relationships. Do you have any? I’m going through one right now. 10 weeks no contact. It’s a struggle. It was a 4 month relationship. Doing the creative healing course. Thanks coach 🤘
I agree. We all need more on short term relationships because people aren’t even getting past the initial dating stage to even call them an “ex.” You can’t even tell someone you’d like to take them on a date without them freaking out, but ya know….they will sext you for years. 🙄
Go even longer. 10 weeks is nothing. Try a year
I'm not even sure he is fully avoidant, maybe I trigger that in him like he triggers my anxiety. He broke up with me a few times and this time it's been a little over a month, longest so far. It's also a long distance relationship, which makes it more difficult. He still texts me here and there, says he misses me, that he won't delete any pictures and that he still loves me but the "circle ended". I couldn't take it anymore and told him to text me once he wants to work things out, but until then I will respect his decision. So many mixed signals that I was a mess each time he texted. He even said he texted me while half asleep/in his sleep once. Once it was by mistake. So tiring... I feel like I've learned more just this month than all those times from previous break ups.
Has your avoidant ex showed signs of missing you? Please share what they’ve done in the comments!
G, same. Nothing at all from mine in almost 5 months. I am probably not missed at all.
@@lorip4087 8 months for me
T, I'm so sorry. Hope we both find the love we deserve.
@@lorip4087 Likewise hun. I’m mostly over him and know I can do better. But it does hurt. Like he hasn’t even checked to see if I’m alive. We both don’t use social media.
@@adrij4961 I pity them because it’s stuffed so deep down that they can’t even take a peak at it otherwise they’d erupt.
There was something that an avoidant friend did when we texted, and that was that every time he noticed I was angry, he would send me a photo of his dog or a landscape because he knew I liked it. It took me a while to realize why he did it, because his behavior confused me quite a bit.
I am so Thankful to learn about the Attachment Theory. I tested Secure Attachment but get with Dissmissives and makes me think maybe I am learning toward Anxious attachment. 🤪
I thank I had to go no contact with my DA for 2 months I am secure I had to walk away because he made no effort. So June 5th he made contact so I will walk it out slow as you taught us so no contact does work.
Again thank you
craig have you seen couples get back together after living together for years and breaking up and moving seperate?
What about when there are children involved and your ex calls to say “so what’s going on over there?” Or sitting down to hang out for a bit every time he brings the kids home, or sitting next to you at sporting events always!!!
I would like to hear an answer to that also
Any conclusions? I would think that those encounters allow a quick escape so that is why they happen. I think being polite but thinking they didn't even exist would be best to stay sane.
Her kids asking my kids about me. She's wanting to spend time with my kids. Messaged my mother. Randomly reaches out to me when she's having a tough day. Yet STILL in her rebound that's going horrible for her. What is going on???
What if you're in no contact but, trying to get over your ex and get back on dating sites? If your ex sees you on these will it hurt your chances at a reconnection? And how would the ex keep tabs on you if your social media accounts are set to private?
I told her that i still love her, I admitted my mistake, I told her that I respect her chiose. I told her that I miss my best friend. That i am ok if she want to talk even for just stupid stuff. I really want to change I’m changing for her but she just don’t care she’s so cold and distant. I just give up. I don’t care anymore.
They won't walk away it's a game to her ,you will lose but walk away you might have a chance she will feel loss.
Its best you don’t even admit you love these people. For people like these you just have to mirror them. The only difference with you and them is that you can still regulate your emotions and feel your feelings, but they are stuck and repressed feelings so they cant even feel
An avoidant here..My ex had a new relationship almost right after the breakup, )which was mostly my fault,) because I repeatedly did some things that made her lost trust. Of course I did all the wrong things back then, like begging and pleading, grand gestures etc and then she jumped into this rebound ..
It's been over 3 years since the breakup. The first 2 years I noticed that she posted nothing that it may had to do with us, only the flowers that the rebound sent to her etc. But from April 2022 she started posting things periodically, pictures and songs that I strongly believe are straight messages to me. Should I reach out since I was responsible that I pushed her away?
Bro reach out tf😂
@@sabinemiller2306 I did
Move on. She’s probably between relationships and looking for a place holder. If you were all that you would be with the real thing by now. Learn to love yourself. They burn you twice as bad the second time around.
The break up
May have been your fault but please don’t keep carrying the guilt, she jumped into a rebound, she probably needed it to get over you. Reach out with grace, space and honesty. I hope you and ex are ok and if anything comes of the ‘meet’ it’s a closure to understand your selves better. Take care
No, she betrayed your trust, got you to question yourself. Let her see you thriving. Fall forward, never go back. Imo
How do you put a boundary on bread crumbs?
Thanks for videos! Is 2 weeks no response too much for 4 month good relationship with no understandable breakup ? After solo( iwith group to Georgia) trip(2 weeks) she became colder and made conflict, I felt I could not argue to not make it worse. No drama after, just said I am sorry that it happened and I don't wanted it(I just putted bag in wrong place, she's looked for reason to conflict is my guess, after I had time to think and I should not be sorry for that) .(no contact since) She liked few of my social media posts( I have not liked her's) and she did not block me on social media.
I have zero social media. What happens then?
Phone number as it should be.
Craig can I do the workbooks through an iPad mobile device? Or do I need a pc or laptop?
Yes you can!
Bro!!!!! Holy shit I needed this episode. Im focusing on making money but I would pay anything to talk with u. Uggggh, and Im a Chad but met my damaged match. 🤦♂️
Hi Craig, and people in the comments. I’m two full weeks into my breakup, I’ve attempted no contact but it’s very hard because he says he wants to continue talking about how we’re feeling, and to “periodically get together to have frank talks.” The last time I saw him, he gave me the key back to my apartment. I don’t know how to perceive any of this, is he done or is he wanting to work through things? It feels cruel and confusing. He’s also been very depressed, suicidal and when he broke up with me, it was over the phone during the middle of what seemed like a psychotic episode of some sort. It seemed very impulsive, which caused me to worry for his well-being. He says he needs to be alone in order to “find himself,” and that our relationship only seems to trigger us both. The relationship wasn’t toxic, but we did have very difficult moments, like his inability to express anger due to cptsd or his discomfort with any sort of perceived criticism, when all I felt I was doing was expressing my needs. There were times when I wasn’t as patient with his experience, or didn’t have the capacity to help the way I wanted to due to lots of life changes. I moved to a different city to be with him, changed my life entirely to pursue a future with him, and now we’re here.
You need to think of this like weening off of a drug. What makes someone go back to the drug--cold turkey or slow and gradually decreasing the doses? He is weening himself off so that he doesn't feel the sense of loss but also doesn't have to commit. I'd say no, if you no longer want a relationship with me then I need to cut contact at least until the feelings have subsided.
Sounds very familiar. Keep loving yourself. It took me 6 months and he calls me several times a day for the last few months, but I know that I deserve to be loved by someone who is more emotionally available…sending love
How do you know if they unblocked you if you are not texting them ??????????
Following
@@adoptioncorner1984 ?
I would like to know the answer to this, that's what following means.
What attachment style does BU over text? Is that avoidant or anxious? It's a blindside over text after 2 years so I don't know if it's avoidant or not...
Could be FA too
@@ashton1952 Probably, I had to look long and hard at the relationship to notice that FA pattern somewhat. Still shocking regardless.
I’m glad I found your video! ❤ Thank you
He ghosted me after three years. I am definitely the anxious one and frustrated him in many ways, but I never thought he would just disappear. I haven't heard a word from him in two weeks. I have been calling but i guess I should go no contact?
Or they posting stuff you dont like…
You cannot see any signs in no contact.
Maybe you could make a video about ex going out clubbing, partying, drinking and how to cope with that?
Unfollow
Can’t focus on that bud, get some more hobbies to fill the void and to overlap the thoughts, no point spending time thinking about another person that doesn’t care.
My ex just randomly texted me 7 times asking about her ski boots after a month. There’s no snow where she’s at… I was waiting 5 mins to respond and she blocked me before I responded . Gahhhhhhhhhhh I was havin a good day too 😂
I left my avoidant ex 3 months ago, friday night she called me at 1am drunk, locked out her house crying. I called her a taxi to mine. She cried, we shared a bed. The only thing she did in bed were hold my hand. The next day, she baked me brownies and left them outside my front door.
why outside?
@@antoinel2279 only an avoidant would know
Lol outside your door for real 😮
You probably should have called her a 24 hr locksmith
What about blocking after I deleted him? I finally deleted him 8 months after the breakup (all the time no contact), because he still watched every story I posted. After I deleted him, he blocked me?
I'd say at the very least he noticed you deleted him. He likely felt rejected in some way - but take what I say with a pinch of salt! Good luck on your healing journey ✨️
@@bethrutherford95 thank you :) but why rejected? he broke up with me. Should he indifferent about my deleting if he was truly over me/the breakup?
@Alumalu totally get your confusion. From the maaaany "Get Your Ex Back" videos I've seen, the dumper initially doesn't truly feel the loss of the break up because they percieve they're in control and could get you back at any point. Over time, with no contact, you disrupt that assumption, and they can begin to worry they've lost you permanently. Dumpers are human too, and after a long time of silence, they will have their own doubts over *your* position.
It just seems like the behaviour of someone on that spectrum! That being said, I don't know for sure. It's just speculative. Have you made strides in this time? Sounds like you have, and I think it's a sensible move removing him from viewing your stories.
@@bethrutherford95 he showed a lot of signs during the months of no contact. Jealousy, (blocking me on facebook after I uploaded pictures with another guy there), then unblocking me because he wanted to know if I was with that guy on vacation, extreme story stalking on whatsapp, he watched my stories everyday, often up to 7 times daily. He never did that during our relationship. And I know that his life isn't good. No new relationship, no friends, he isn't doing anything anymore, no hobbies, vacation, trips. And his father died a few weeks ago.
My plan is to contact him in August.
@@bethrutherford95 he also has a big history with fear of rejection. I contacted him first, before our relationship and he confessed me, that he stalked my facebook profile for 10 months but was to afraid to contact me. Because he thought I would reject him. He even told me, if I didn't contacted him first we would be never in a relationship. Because he was so afraid of my rejection.
I ran into her brother at Starbucks am I overthinking her interpreting this as an attempt to reach out to her?
Hi, ive been married to my wife for 3 years in a long distance relationship, i was going to bring her over to the usa from another country, she ended up telling me she could not come over with me
She let the appointment we worked really hsrd to get just pass by
We didnt show up
And she called a separation in february
Went no contact for 2 months
Tried reaching out again in late april
Then another month of no contact and now she says we are just friends.
Yet has not filed any divorce papers
Wtf does any of this mean???
Married by church and civil for 3 years and were bf/gf for 4 years
I feel like giving up at the current momento
It isn’t real?
You were long distance and that was what she liked. Changing it broke it. Nothing you can do about that unless you wanted to go back to long distance. But that is virtual.
I don't post anything...is that good or not..
Great insight, thanks Coach.
What if she said she need to leave to get rid of her trauma?
We have no connections with my ex on any socials,we’re in no contact(I’ve asked her not to contact me as it hurts me),is there any way no contact could work in such case?
So you want them to contact you, ooo we are in it together pal, did same and they backed off, tried to reach out and was told to go find another man
My Ex is definitely an avoidant ex. After the breakup she went back to her Ex(they had really long relationship as compared to mine) You see i tried to move on and it was really working and then a month later she texted me while she is still with her ex so i decided to ignore her text. Now she's is stalking my stories in social media (as well as her ex) and then blocking me. Lol. I won't lie it's effecting my mental health all over again. And Yes too many fake accounts viewing my stories lately!
Thanks coach Craig
What if he has Facebook and I don’t? I have instagram but I only post Art.
He rrsponds to my messsages but doesn't bite and says its to contact him.
Mine always txts me saying a letter has arrived for me!
What about when they have come back into personal contact, have initiated intimacy, but no mention of relationship or feelings?
Then they just want to bang. Way too damaging to do for your own self esteem. Don't go there!
Everything he said is all so true😅😊
My avoidant doesn’t even watch my stories 🤣 at least rn like he tired of me 🤣
And he never blocked me 😂
lol mine blocked on insta of all things but not phone. She’s definitely not thinking of me in the slightest though 😂
@@Kaycineemine neither. Did he ever reach out?
Attachment avoident sounds demonic
How abut with adhd?
Do you think avoidant types are sociopaths?
lol no. Sociopaths are extremely rare. Margaret thinks she only came across one in her career... and she worked with murderers in the prison system
@@craigkennethbreakupessentialsjeez even murderers aren’t sociopaths, really shows you how often this word is misused 😂
what if we dont use SM?
What's watching a story?
looking at your social media posts
How about when they keep looking/ staring at orher women?? They need to change that behaviour??
One word : Runnnnnnn for your life these people ( avoindants) will make you wish u never met them....!