Age Gap Relationships & The Science Behind Them
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ส.ค. 2022
- Half your age + 7? In this video, I’ll be doing a deep dive into age gap relationships and what science has to say about them.
Articles:
psychcentral.com/relationship...
www.bbc.com/worklife/article/....
CONTACT/ FOLLOW ME:
Instagram: @courtneycristineryan
BUSINESS INQUIRES: courtneycristineryan@gmail.com
AMAZON STOREFRONT: www.amazon.com/shop/courtneyryan
I make a small commission on items purchased with my link. Thank you for the support, I appreciate it! - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
In my opinion and experience, finding a compatible and mentally healthy partner is simply a sheer miracle in itself, regardless of age.
Nailed it - finding that "click" with someone is what matters, but it's no small feat.
Amen :D
Only for men, for women its always been piss easy bt now its INSAINLY easy, a woman is getting several hundred offers a day plus more in real life (as opposed to online) its almot criminal how easy it is for women, but for guys its the EXACT opposite, now if a woman stays single for a year we have to be better than half a million guys (literally) thgats just insanity, of course i cant be one of the top most famour rich dominating alhpa males or a top pick up artist ! so im fucked !
@@AchtungBaby77 That click means fk all nowadays, i clicked with a woman, but because i am so utterly hopless with women (i have autism) she dumped me and now this woman is talking to pick up artists who are good with women but has nothing in common with at all, and we had EVERYTHING in common, literally everything, she was the llove of my life, but that connection meant fuk all to her, she and all other women would much rather have a top pick up artist, money and power or the dominant abusive alpha male than a connection ! lol, your an idiot if you think that connection means anythingn to women !
I mean if the age gap is around 20+, then chances are ome person has mental problems in one form or the other....the question is how good are they hiding it and how strong your Freudian attraction to them is 🤢
Far and away, my most successful relationship was with my wife, who was 18 years older. We met doing 1940s swing dancing back in 1998.. She looked my age with a tiny waist women half her age would kill for. She was the kindest, sweetest, most emotionally stable, most amazing woman I've ever met. Our relationship lasted 20+ years. She passed away three years ago and I miss her beautiful face and kindness everyday.
sorry for you loss. You both had a great ride, man.
Thanks for sharing your beautiful story with this amazing person. May her memory always light up a smile in you and warms you heart
She was at her peak fertility between 18-24, so it makes sense that you were happy.
Sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing woman
God rest her soul
If they're both adults, I don't have to give a shit about what "society" thinks about it.
Agreed
I met someone that was 21, and I was around 34. Now she's in her late 40s, and I'm nearing 62, we're still together. Age means nothing if both people want to be together for the right reasons.
These stories give me enough to keep my hope alive. Im 36 and the dating pool sucks.
@@stewartknoll2338
We all have someone out there somewhere. It's a matter of knowing where to look, as searching for a unicorn in a snake pit doesn't often yield pleasing results.
People often complain that everyone they date wants only to get drunk and laid. When asked where they meet people, they answer is at a bar/club nearly every single time.
I swear it's like trying to find a virgin on a porn set. Hardly anyone knows where and how to look for a prospective partner anymore.
And no, I'm not saying that you are at fault, but most people are anymore. And they wonder why every single attempt ends in failure as they go back and make the same mistake one more time. Never look harder, look smarter.
That's exactly the same age difference as my wife and I. But we met when I was 50 and she was 37. Perhaps the older the ages of the couple the less of an "age gap" there is? It's all irrelevant as we both know. Ten year of marriage and two happy kids later, we laugh at a 13 year difference.
@@stewartknoll2338 Hang in there! It will happen for you. Try to be patient. I know....impossible. fyi, I met my wife on eHarmony. It does work for some, at least.
I see a lot of guys saying this, but what we don't see are the women saying that they are happy. While you might think it's cool, I'm almost willingly to bet she is getting action on the side.
I met my wife when I was 38 and she 21…neither of us were previously married and now in 2023 we have been together 16 years, married for 15 years and our son turns 14 this April and our daughter turns 12 in July. In our case age difference truly didn’t matter. I’m not a sugar daddy and she wasn’t a gold digger and our lives prove it.
You lucky dude
Reading this I'm feeling hopeful at 40
It most likely seemed like a stretch back when y’all first met, but now she is your age back them and now you’re around 54, it doesn’t seem as bad. It may get interesting in her 40’s and that mid life start kicking in and the kids are grown. You will be in your 60’s and she will still feel like she can pull! Keep your eyes open👀
You are lucky, as she is. I am only 19 and can't say I actually have ¨dating experience¨, mostly because I am looking for a partner, as in long term relationship, and find it hard to meet people my age who are looking for that as well. I am not precisely looking for an older man, but if I happen to meet a good and smart man with goals and we connect with each other, regardless of age, then I will be very happy to become his partner if he wants me to. So I suppose I understand your wife there.
Hang in there brother! I wouldn’t change a thing! Quite frankly I find people are jealous of people like me and you because it’s not happening to them! Too bad so sad! Cheers 🍻
Just a note. My wife and I were in a 40 year relationship. (I lost her to cancer 3.5 years ago). She was 10 years older than me. (Almost to the day.) Never once did the age difference bother me and it never bothered her also. We had great times and there were times where we had to work at it. She was the love of my life and my soul mate. I feel that age is just a number if you “click”., you click. The best years of my life were with her and I miss that. I am just now coming out of the heavy cloud of grief, not sure if I will ever be completely out, and my heart is beginning to open back up. I still say age is just a number, it’s life experience that makes the difference. She taught me life skills and I taught her life skills. We melded together beautifully. Thanks for allowing me to express myself on this subject.
Sorry for your loss Man. She sounds like she was a great Gal. Maybe there's another one (or two) in your future? Take it slow and have some fun when you are able. You've earned it.
My heart goes out to you for your loss, Russ. But I'm pleased that you had so many happy years with your wife, and that is what counts. Thank you for saying all of this.
Beautifully conveyed Russ. Thank you. In full concurrence. Love is blind as long as we vibe, we vibe. So many factors involved in whether a relationship will work, and it's never just about age differences though generally this plays a part. Courtney's spot on.
Your wife would have wanted you to live your life forward, as happily as you could. May you find peace and calm knowing she's still with you, in spirit and living memory. God bless her and you. Warmest wishes, Sir.
May God Bless you.
Im so very sorry for your loss, What you have/ had with your wife ❤️ , most people will never experience for one day ❤️ god bless ( I’m married , husband , kids , we have a home and careers. I’m giving thanks 🙏🏼)
I’m 42 and my girlfriend is 24. Best relationship I’ve ever had.
A couple we know have a 12 yr. age difference. She was 34 and he was 22 when they married; now married 37 yrs. Both say they had lots of growing up to do, but they worked hard and it got done. They are closer and more in love now than ever.
No-one cares when the woman is the older party. It's not even controversial if the guy is under 25.
@@rdor011 I don't know if anyone cares, but the woman is branded a cougar. Not nearly as sexy as an older man and a young woman. Anyway, who cares, as long as they make it work, right/
Marriage counselors have observed in age gap relationships the ones that fail are the ones when one or both partners were specifically looking for an age gap relationship. The ones that succeed are the ones that just spontaneously happen.
Thank you sir for your input.
This is total BS
I think also it generally is a bad idea to date women who are between 18-21 unless you grew up with them, regardless of whether you're 25, 45 or even 19, unless you really are just looking for a one night stand. The reason I say this is that people at that age are changing so rapidly that, in a sense, you may not even really get to know the real person. The only reason it works if you grew up with them is you may be enough in tune with them to change with them, and you can also cherish your memories from early life.
Sources would be appreciated.
@@alexanderfretheim5720 I have read studies that say both male and females by the age of 18 are set in their ways and change very little afterwards
Watching so many relationships succeed and fail, I think that what matters in a relationship is if the person you're with genuinely makes you happy, shares your values, makes your life better, and complements any differences or similarities you may have.
I agree. So many people get stuck in the idea of the ideal height, age, and etc… But being with the partner who can get old and grow up together is what matters imo
complements*
compliments refers to saying nice things to someone. complement refers to meshing well with something
Absolutely this is it. Nothing else matters between two adults 💯
I've always felt comfortable with about a 7 or 8 year age difference. The reason is that you're about the same generation which gives you similar things that you can both relate to. Nothing worse than talking to someone and them telling you that they read about it in a history book. I guess I should point out that I'm over 70 years.
That me rn she sweet great shape looks young and she’s good to me
women dont read history books..
Yeah.....I'm 29 and under 26 or 25 is a no go for that reason. Maybe 24 if she's really really mature but I want a partner not a daughter lol
Also age at the time of marriage. I'm 38 y/o dating someone 8 years younger than me. After age 30 everyone views everyone as fair game, tbh. Anything before that and the stipulation becomes an arguing point.
My parents are 8 years apart.
my husband is 31 years older than me but we are so happy 🥰💖 We always learn new things about each other 💖
That's quite a large gap.
How did yall meet?
Ew omg
nah what 😭😭😭
Most age gaps don’t bother me but Jesus there’s a limit
@@seanharris8419 Me too; I draw the line at 50 years.
I was in a relationship with a 33yr age gap, and we were the happiest couple when we were together. Unfortunately she started listening to people telling her that it wasn't right, that she needed to date guys her age and she broke it up with me. Now she is unhappy in her new relationship and I'm going thru the toughest healing process of my life
Aww. Sorry. That happened.
Work it out brother!!!!!!
you should know to stay away from a relationship like that before you get in too deep. That type of gap can work if you are in your lower 30s with someone 60s, but really, what are you looking for in a relationship? after 60, your body begins breaking down and you probably won't make it past 90 when the other person will only be in their 60s. Then, its harder for them to remarry at that age.
@@dnsgilbert09 its harder for women to remarry after 35 years .
@@dnsgilbert09 Lol your comment is a contradiction in itself. You said if they marry, it's harder for him to find someone, but obviously not if his wife found someone that age at hers lol. His own wife would prove it's not impossible by the fact she married him.
Nail on the head, Courtney. The best predictor of relationship longevity and success is having aligned values, beliefs, and goals, no matter the age difference.
I am in love with a man who is nearly 20 younger than me. He has told me he loves me and I have told him I feel the same. When we first met there was a connection that I had never felt before and we do have the same goals values etc and so much in common. We are both older individuals so we don’t have the issues some younger people have with having a family etc. Fortunately I have always looked quite a bit younger than my chronological age so that helps.
Sorry that is UTTER BS, i met the love of my life, we connected well on everything, had all the same beliefs which is pretty unusuall but she dumped me like a hot brick when i told her i was a virgin, i think she ncorectly thought i dont like womens bodys, when the real reason is its because i couldnt get a woman, now she left me she will almost certainly be sleeping with top pick up artists or dominant abusive lalpha males or rich powerful men, i know for a fact one of the players she is texting and flirting with has NOTHING in common with her at all, its incredibly painful to know that some dirty bsrd who happens to be good with women will know her better than the person who was right for me ! the best predictor of getting a gf is how good you are at pick up how dominant ab usive and alpha you are and of course money and power ! forget about connections, if you dont know anything about women your fucked !
@@margaretcampbell2681 Same, i cconneted with this woman like i never have before she would have been the love of my life but i am hopless with women so she dumped me, now she is messaging a top pick up artist who she has NOTHING to do with so no, the guy you " connected" with is just a good pick up artist, he has read and understood a book by an expert with women using pre determined tactics to mimick a connection, top pick up gys do it all the time, one said every woman he sleeps with says you where tythe perfect guy, the "one" ! also i am over 40 too so your definatly not safe in older years ! congrats your dating a pick up artist !
I agree to 1000%. A 25 year old can have better values than a 40 year old woman, this also counts for men.
That is true. But woman biological and mentally mature much faster than men , and I truly feel from my experience an older man has been aligned in maturity with me . Dating men my own age has been frustrating
My wife is 8 years older than me. When she found out how old I was, she literally kicked me out of her apartment and ended the dating. We had only dated 3 times. We were only apart for a few weeks. We have been married 26 yrs together 27 yrs now. She is my best friend and always will be till she dies.
笑 That's why we should go beyond societal expectations and go for what we really want。 笑
@@twitter.comelomhycy 😬
Or until you die😂 she's only 8 years older give her a break 😅
Till she dies???💀💀
16:23 tell us the secret to this successful relationship please 😊
My wife is 10-years older! For the two of us, it was a perfect union. We got married older in-life. I was 31 (do the math). We chose not to have kids. We are still both active and in love.
Funny how many women "chose" not to have kids when they are in their 40's.
Sounds like a dream mate. Well done👍🏻
@@lewishorsewell8852yeah because men are super fertile later in life
My parents were born two days apart. The closest age relationship I’ve ever heard of. Still married after 57 years.
My wife and I were born on the exact same day and year. Together for 45 years. Still going strong!
My parents are one day apart, still together (married) after 60 years.
19
@@marcelgirard5162 god is good 45 years 😮 I haven’t even lived half of that
Mine were born 11 days appart. Married when they were 21, 45 years ago.
I just met a woman and shes 41, and im 28 and wow… Shes amazing. Never thought id like an older woman but her confidence and her loving herself/knowing what she wants is a huge attraction. Our chemistry is deep too, it’s opened my eyes that age is really a number at a point.
Where do you meet women
Thanks for letting these assholes know that it’s about the person not about the age. I’m the same with my husband.
It’s just amazing with sex because she’s ran through. You won’t be compatible in nothing else. And her boobs are hanging too the knees.
just met.
check back in 10 years.
You're too young for her. As you get into your 30's and her beauty starts to fade, you will find yourself looking for younger women again
As long as the heat is there, age doesn't matter. Don't let your bed go cold. A strong sexual bond is what distinguishes a good relationship.
It's indisputable that life is more about compatibility and everything is about compatibility and love. Amazing work you've been doing, Courtney.
It all depends on context. When I was 21, I dated a gal who was 27. While I found her attractive for me, she ingratiated me with her sense of life experience. I never could connect romantically with women my own age. Which is why at 35 today, I've dated much younger. I've gotta wonder if it's because I grew up with an emotionally unavailable mother, whereas on the contrary, my dad was and still is very available. When discussing men's issues, you often hear talk about absent fathers and almost nothing about absent mothers.
Thanks for sharing these insights.
You may just be intelligent, so the things that you realised earlier on, girls your age would not understand until now.
Dude, my experience exactly! Nice to know I’m not alone in this world 🤓
it does not depends, nobody will ever recognize their own issues, this is all not conscience dude, nobody going to think that rationally
21 I date 35 yo .. we broke up when she ask me to babysit the kids 🤣🤣 ... now I am dad ..
I’m 75. She’s 54. We have had fantastic 14 year long marriage. However, we face the reality that I’ll probably die in the next 5-10 years. We are planning accordingly. My point is that unique adjustments are necessary to maintain a viable relationship. It depends how much you agree on what you want and badly you are willing to adapt.
Y'all doing good ?
Much love to you
what if she was 54 and you were 86, and you were just starting to date? do you think it would matter then?
Must be scary being so close to death.
@@NGU7754 it is but i have life insurance from Jesus Christ.
Hey Courtney. I highly praise this video. It was very smart, informative, non judgmental, and unbiased. Many journalist can learn from you. You earned a new subscriber. Keep up the good work.
My husband was 11 years older than me and we were together for 22 years. He was born in 1970 and I was born in 1981. We started dating when I was just 3 months shy of 19 and he had just turned 30. Sadly, he passed away very unexpectedly 7 months ago. Otherwise, we would still happily be married. We had so much chemistry and such a strong connection and bond that you never would have known there was over a decade between us in age. My parents are 9 years apart and have been married for almost 51 years. I'm now 41 and I have absolutely no problem being with a guy who is in his early to mid-50s, but I wouldn't go any older than that and I DEFINITELY would not go for someone younger than me.
As a 25 year old female dating a 19 year old male... Can I ask if you think that age gaps are okay the other way (genders reversed)? My guy and I are 6.5 years apart, let's call it 7. I am curious as to how your family and friends responded to a 19 year old dating a 30 year old? I get judged so harshly... Have lost friends over the issue. People think I am disgusting and taking advantage of a younger person who has not gone through the same life experiences that I have yet. I should mention that we met at work and coincidentally also attended the same post secondary institution, and he pursued me at first. I was extremely resistant for fear of taking away his youth/making him grow up faster than he was meant to, others judging me as predatory or emotionally stunted, etc. And those are real concerns. However we seem to match so well... Our values, personalities, life goals all align. He wants a family and doesn't mind starting young. He loves children. Anyway... What do you think? Am I blinded because I want it to work so badly? Is our relationship wrong because of the age gap? No matter how well we seem to fit, will it always be wrong? Imbalance of power and experience? Any thoughts you have are appreciated.
Perfectly normal for a guy to be 10 - 15, sometimes 20 years older.
@@wgdetective7034 is not about the age. It's about what happens in the relationship. Close age gaps, large age gaps, both can be bad or good. You have to see by yourself what type of relationship you got. Good or bad. If it's good, then there is no reason for not being happy.
In my opinion, people need to stop worrying about others’ relationship preferences (as long as the relationship in question is legal) and start worrying more about why they care so much 😆
Beautifully said
Most people aren't bothered by age gapes per se. What bothers people the most are predatory men chasing after 19/20 year old women.
19 & 20 year olds are adults...not predatory of 2 people are consenting
@@adammitry6011 just cuz they were age of consent doesn't mean the relationship wasn't predatory I mean adults can be sexually abused too and young people may not even realize that til it's too late and it happens but I suppose it can happen at any age the real question we ought to be asking is why are they wanting someone freshly out of high school
@@daniellarkins3849 this is exactly what I went through I'm glad you see why this can a problem too
Me and my girl have a 8 year age gap. I’m about to be 40, she is gonna be 32. It’s literally been such a good relationship.
Trust that once you hit 60 she will for sure cheat on you, if you even last that long that is. Got to get it while it's tight I understand but good luck.
I'm happy for you two, best of luck man.
@@pazuzu603 loser talk.
8 years is nothing
@@pazuzu603 ol' salty
Very nice video Courtney, My dating history would reflect about a 10 year gap with most of my relationships, not because I gravitate towards a younger women but because of an attraction foremost. I'm fortunate to still have most of my hair at 66 and look much younger than I am. Yet it doesn't matter about the number...only the attraction and what evolves into something beautiful. Thank you from releasing the guilt that many have burdened me with for so many years dating younger women. I believed in my convictions and stayed true to them.
It's amazing how differently people age in terms of health. For older men like myself, I'm always shocked at the differences in how my peers age. Even thinking about wanting kids or a spouse, your health level dominates the conversation. If you and your partner don't both take care of your health after you get married... Watch out. A lot of divorces and marriage struggles revolve around having very different health habits.
Believe me, the criticism of older men dating younger women comes from women, not men, and it's always the man who takes the heat, never the woman.
And it always comes from women closer to the man's age who are pissed that the men they're going after aren't interested.
It really depends, for much larger age gaps say 20-25 years when the man is older sounds predatorial and manipulative so the man takes the heat. Whereas if the woman is that many years older, it wouldn't sound as predatorial. However for 10 year age gaps, it's the other way around. In conservative cultures 5+ year differences are judged either way, but the man being 2-4 years older is completely normal, whereas the woman being merely a few months older than the guy is frowned upon.
They are jelous of the younger competition
@@ahlinad1221 When a woman is that much older ofc she is predatorial. And it's never predatorial if she is of age.
Usually it's actually the younger women who are the predators...
@@ahlinad1221 You just speak about your parents and YOUR wishes, but that's not related to how it should be, nor what's healthy. Mature parents are important. Too many people get kids too early in life and mess it up.
Wonderful topic Courtney! The individuals in my life have had incredible relationships with diversity in age from my parents in which my mom was 15 years younger ( my dad has now passed), family friends that have a 25 year age gap ( the husband being the younger of the two), as well as friends with the usual 2-5 year age gap. All have had beautiful marriages with the commonality of respect, loyalty, gratitude, joy and lots of love.
An extremely interesting and balanced approach to the topic. I’m 55 with a high energy level, super active, and very driven. I play bass and love all genres of music. Needless to say it’s very difficult for me to be attracted to someone my age as they usually are not compatible with me from quite a few fronts.
Most of the time even a 10 year age gap is not enough. Where I start seeing compatibility is about a 13 year gap or more so I’m in a bit of a pickle, but hey still doing my thing. Enjoying life, business, health and travel.
We’ll see what happens, thanks for the interesting viewpoints
Can confirm with what Courtney’s saying about the focus on priorities instead of the number. 25 year old male dating a 57 year old female here. We’ve been together for 2 years and while no means easy, we’ve mutually been the happiest we’ve ever been with each other. A lot of that comes from our day to day interactions with each other driven by our experience, mentality, sex drive, etc. We enjoy being with each other and learning from each other. Generally we are in alignment with many important things.
shes old enough to be your mother
@@dnsgilbert09 yup. Facts.
I'm finding your videos to be the most sensible of any other relationship videos I've watched.. Thank you for your videos!
I think the most important thing that everybody is overlooking in relationships these days is are you enjoying the relationship?
THAT'S WHAT I KEEP SAYING! YES BRO!
Yes, at the beginning. But when years go by, after, 10, 20, 30 years together, it may happen that each is evolving in a different direction, and that the chemistry is not working anymore. It can be hard to figure out if you've not experienced it personally (I'm 58 now, after 15 years of marriage) ...
@@dupontfra that can happen to couples same age. Wouldn't it be better for a couple to be happy together for 30 years even it there was 20 years age difference than couple both same age only being together for 5 years?
@@dupontfra Yes, that's what usually happens. You grow together, then you grow apart. Does that render the 10, 20, 30 years together meaningless? No. Accept it and separate in friendship. Be richer for it, move on, rebuild.
I'm 32 & have just met a woman in her late 40s at a local singles night. She has the same ideals, relationship goals, no baggage & is great for her age. No regrets. I was straight in there!
Enjoy the last few years before the milk spoils. 😂
@@djangomarine6658 🤣🤣🤣
@@djangomarine6658🤣🤣😐
@@urapeenees340...and @*#^ you too! ....Hope all your younger women leave you once YOUR milk spoils...!!!! 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁...Ha!
I really enjoy your discussions. You're so mature for 26. I think maturity is 80% of the treasure hunt.
1. Age gap relationships certainly *can* work, it's just important to realize that you will each be more likely to be at different points in life, the greater the gap, and you will have fewer shared cultural experiences. Beyond that, things are negotiable, but biology does impose certain limitations, so if you want to have children, you definitely have to consider age differences carefully.
🥇
Hi Marc!!
@@CourtneyRyan Good Morning Miss Courtney! 🙂
In that part of my own relationship of 22 years age dif and the possibility of kids...been together for many years already. So it is a topic of discussion.
And it's good to have the foresight to know that you might be much healthier and able bodied at one point than your much older partner.
My girlfriend and I have a 32 years age gap. She’s older. We’ve been together 11 wonderful years and I couldn’t be happier. Of course, we had our challenges with society throughout the years… people thought she was in it for the sex, or I’m with her for the money and blah blah. We both work for ourselves and built a wonderful life together. We stopped caring why others thought because what’s most important is Being happy with your partner. Being a team and having a wonderful connection is what’s helping us in our journey. I love her so much.
Wow
Good for you.
You did it backwards my guy
😳. Ok…….. so she won out
Creep
When it comes down to a long-term relationship, I've always believed age is just a number if you and your own girlfriend/boyfriend love each other very much because love is one important thing that has to be continued in marriage (commitment to support each other no matter what happens in life)
I am impressed with her wisdom, knowledge, maturity, and compassion for being so young. This is a great channel.
Going to be honest, with your writing style and pic I'm unable to hear your comment not in batman's voice
@@Jean-Pierre-Parent Now the only question is, which Batman iteration are you thinking of?
I married a 35 year old woman when I was 60. That was 15 years ago and we have a 12 year old son. We have a wonderful relationship and it keeps getting better and better. I'm in excellent health and I try to keep myself in good shape for both my wife and my son.
This is reassuring as I'm 40yo and would like to have kids. I'm improving myself, exercising and taking better care of myself than I ever have in the past. I believe I'm more likely to find higher quality women now, since my life is on track and my confidence levels are up.
Was she hot? If so, how did you swing that?
Me and my husband are just getting started on our family. I'm 24 and he's about to be 44, but we have both always wanted to be parents so we're going for it! Your story is encouraging! Thank you for sharing!
It's great to hear success stories like this, could you please share your experiences being a 75 year old father with a 12 year old son? For me personally, I'm not sure I'd want to have kids starting high school when I'm mid 70s.
@@AchtungBaby77 It's not for everyone. I love kids and I sincerely believe it helps keep me young. I also have an older son who loves his little half brother and does activities with him like skiing which I no longer do.
I feel like the older I get, the age doesn't matter as much as where each other is in life. Having a common ground and realistic expectations is important.
True, if it’s someone who’s barely legal maybe an issue and can’t do much and don’t have a lot of things in common of life versus if your 30 or late 20s at the least.
This is true. With that said, once you get outside of 10 years, take precaution and think everything through.
>>feel like the older I get, the age doesn't matter
Sorry, bro. I am 53, dating one of the weaker generations isn't a good plan
@@CinimodNorton Gen X doesn't exactly come off as stronger than the others... Older people generally seem stronger than younger people, simply because they have lived longer and experienced more. BTW, Jennifer Anniston is 53 and I think she is hot 🔥.
This is coming from a 35yo.
I’ve never really thought too much of age and more about how attracted I am to that particular person, and our compatibility. When I was 29 I was dating a 44 year old, now I’m 45 dating at 22 year old. I was very happy then, and very happy today. Most of my long term relationships were with woman within a 3 year age gap.
love how in depth and scientific this is! great job exploring the topic :)
As someone who has constantly been with older men, I can say that the relationships could work out. The love could most definitely be there but it is about plans in life and communicating them. My last relationship was a 26 year difference and we weren't bad together. We loved having each others company and supported each others goals but support and commitment are not the same thing.
I'm 51, 6'03", look like I'm in my late thirties (not my words), good income, and freshly divorced. According to this formula I'm going to buy a motorcycle and puppy and watch the dating world from a distance while I sip on a cold beer from my hammock.
Great channel Courtney. Congrats on the growth this last year and keep up the great work.
Fuck your income
Plenty of people out there who are bored and single just like you. DON'T GIVE UP!
Do get the puppy though LOL
@@JishinimaTidehoshi I didn't give up because I never started
Show them your rich.
Rent some cars.. post on Instagram
You’re misunderstanding my post. I’m wanting loyalty, sincerity, and predictable fun……….hence the dog and motorcycle. As a recent escapee of a marriage, I’m not trying to attract chaos back to my life. Living with a happy smile on my face will probably attract more than enough women to mostly avoid………..and I’ll VERY carefully screen them before risking a disruption to my drama-free happiness. I’m not a hater, just survivor who’s MUCH wiser.
Love it, upvote. Age gap is a thing. I was married to a woman 9.5 years younger than me. So, I am in Gen X and she is an early Gen Y. The marriage didn't fail because of the age gap. The marriage failed because of communication issues and the fact is, I truly left her in the dust (EQ wise) once I started getting my ADHD treated and counseling. It was like a drag race where one vehicle is just far quicker (A Porsche 911 vs a Geo Metro). And the more I grappled with my emotions, the more she tried to exert an unfair level of "her agency" unto the relationship. When that slipped out of her hands, rather than deal on a mature level, she tried to hold onto whatever agency she had left and threatened constantly about divorce.....so, what do you do? Even saying this, 2 years after divorce, and it still hurts like a motherfu.....
As for age gap, yeah, I wouldn't date anybody under 30. I am 46, and I have nothing in common with somebody 20 years younger than me. I have also found, that as I age, I am really finding things about mature women in my age group, slightly older, slightly younger. Things I really respect and that are attractive to me. Such as high EQ, high compassion, world experience and likeability. Remember the old rule of dating? Divide your age in half and add 7 years, yeah, it is good guide. But being perceptive and listening to what others are saying is important. Don' be ageist either. If I am contacting somebody that is 10 years younger than me, and being polite, on a dating app, that isn't creepy. I think too many women are far too stuck in this idea that older=bad. Men as well. In fact, I shouldn't have to feel like a creep for just wanting to meet people in the age group I spoke of. If we are talking too young, or even under 18, yeah, that is a no no! It just pisses me off that somebody in their late 30's is so ignorant as to think a mid-40's guy is too old. It would be equally insulting if I said the same thing to a 55 year old woman, insulting to her.
If you like somebody, and are being realistic about it, and they are not under age (DON'T EVER GO THERE), go for it!
Communication and understanding is the foundation. Honesty and loyalty are the walls; together this will support the love and compassion that will hold for a life long companionship. I came from a broken homes. My parents combined were married 7x before I was in my mid 20s. And everything I mentioned was what they lacked.
Hey, I just wanted to thank you for all the great advice you've been giving us! I've been out of the dating scene for a while, I don't have a girlfriend, and I haven't restarted the dating process yet, but your insight has been helping me to take the steps to get there, so thanks for the guidance and encouragement!
It’s my pleasure! Thanks for being here 😇
@Marcus It's not society that has to turn this around. It's the women. It's entirely on them.
@@CourtneyRyan My only tiny misgiving in this vid is implied notion that what strangers think about you matters. It shouldn't matter (yes you mentioned it but should be emphasized maybe), I know it can be very difficult to overcome our tribal instincts but ZERO F's Given to what random fools think is liberating and a major component of self confidence, etc.
Likewise we all need to temper our dumb judgments of others.
You will get taken advantage of taking your advice. Taking advice from women will make you feminine.
Thank you for consistently being so non-judgmental. In a world where people can be so harsh, it's refreshing. As someone often attracted to women several years older (or occasionally more than several) I appreciate your kind words and open mindedness.
I married my wife when I was 18 and she was 27. It hasn't been without its struggles, but our marriage is still going nearly 30 years later. I would say the biggest struggle for us has simply been the result of me being so young when we got married (and no, there was no pregnancy involved). I attended college after getting married, and have struggled to build a career while trying to be the primary wage earner in an era that practically requires both partners to work full time. I basically hamstrung myself financially from the get go by not getting my career established first. Such is the sacrifice I was willing to make in the pursuit of love, but I neglected to accept that she would have still been there if I had built a foundation to my career first. I felt that the relationship trumped all else (which it does) and that led me to draw the conclusion that I needed to pursue it chronologically first, which wasn't necessary.
How being married stands in the way of you building a career?
@@BeGioBijouxBecause her value decreases dramatically while his goes up and he has to struggle because she got the biggest end of the stick trade and leaving him as the betamale provider during a time when her value was dramatically dwindling over the undefeated wall... It's now cheaper to keep her and if he didn't wife her up or provide enough of what she felt entitled to, then she would have left him him because she wanted to secure the bag first regardless of having any kids.
@@mizum3458 im willing to bet my life you are not even married and is a teenage virgin. ok maybe an old virgin.
You're describing the opposite of what happened here
@@mizum3458sure bud 🤡
My partner is 23 years younger than me (67 vs 44). She is Asian, and we get along well. Her friends are very envious of her, and how well I treat her, and constantly ask if I have friends to introduce them to. We are both fit and healthy and have no major issues. Her English is improving. My children have grown up and her children are almost adults and happy with our relationship. Whether the relationship will last for many years to come; we cannot tell, bit for now it is great.
My wife is 12 years older. I’ll be 33 in October and she is 44 now. We have been together since 2011, engaged in 2014, married in 2016 and still going strong. 10 years together on the 14th of this month
Wait until menopause. Good luck with that, sir.
Any children?
@@hotstreak9805 I have a 24 year old son and a 19 year old daughter from my wife's previous marriage. They were 14 and 9 when we met.
Ouch. Usually its men getting with younger women..
@@ssing7113 ouch? Sounds offensive. Some younger women or women in my age range were not mature enough for me.
I was married for 18 yrs to a girl 20yrs younger than myself. We talked about the age difference in our relationship prior to getting married...and she told me most marriages the people are pretty close in age....yet that overwhelming number of people still got a divorce. I think it is life itself has changed so much and people can want to break away eventually for greener pastures.
"The key is values, ideas about life and goals that are in line with yours" - really great stuff here Courtney. This is why I value your channel and your female perspective on dating. I would likely not hear this type of advice on a man's youtube channel. Please keep up your great work here and your incredible service to us men.
Thank you so much! It was kind of eye opening/life changing for me. It helped realize that I don’t have much chance, finding a woman in fertility age, now that my wife wants a divorce. Hard to take but I needed someone to make me understand that.
My parents had an age difference of 1 year and divorced after 3 years together, then they remarried with someone with a 10 year age difference and have both been happily remarried for 20+ years now
your parents sounds very silly and imature
People usually marry close-in-age for first marriage, but when people remarry, the age gap almost always grows a lot. With people that marry 3, 4 times gap just keeps growing wider
@@josecarlosxyz Or you just dont like that they found other people they matched better with and had a long lasting relationship with? Clearly you are agist.
@@josecarlosxyz Why?
Really like how Courtney is becoming more evidence based in her analysis. Not that I didn't believe her before, but it's just extra reassurance when claims can be justified. Excellent video
With controversial subjects like these I feel like science is the only way to go
That’s what matters
You checked the references?
@@conservingcommonsense4980 We thought you were doing it.
@@chrismcclain6518 Hahaha
I think it's messed up men get shamed for having a preference for a younger partner than them, while women aren't shamed for liking older men when it's obviously just a natural human preference for us both
Holy well stated Batman! 🤌
I'd agree with you right up until coming across narcissistic misogynistic attitudes like the kind expressed below (see replies to Rick Rick90). That is to say, by the same token: I personally cannot stand men who make relationships ALL about biology and sexual currency. Apart from how shallow and lacking in depth of character, this makes them. It's also a very depressing attitude of reducing relationships to the level of being a meat market.
So, I'd say that it works both ways: yes, this is programmed to a degree in biology, that of women being sexually attractive when young and men when they have most resources and status. But we aren't just animals. And if a person actually wants love that isn't essentially just using the other person for what they can give you physically and materially.... Well then we aren't just animals then and it isn't that love is all conditional.
Really I shouldn't even get triggered when I come across misogynistic comments about women over 49 being worthless. Because the people who have these attitudes are setting themselves up for a major fall when aging and loss of sexual status invariably happens to them. They are their own worst enemy, because to they are essentially stupid...Just shocked that people can be so very easily insensitive and can revel so much in an unfair advantage...as if they EVER earned it.
God I can't stand misogynistic men.
Don't know how they can even think that women would have ANYTHING WHATSOEVER to do with them.
Hi Courtney, sincerely liked your video on the age gap on relationships & the statistics behind them, very educational but more importantly loved your perspective on it. Thank you, Will
There is a 25 year age gap between my wife and myself, me being older. And we have been married 14 years. We also have a 14 month old. Our birthdays are one day apart. I cared about her maturity level. She pursued me. I’m 63 and she is 38. Our one year old keeps up very active. But it’s a mindset and the willingness to be open about what someone has experienced and someone has not and meet in the middle.
She was in her late 30s, she was probably desperate to pop a kid. It's not very smart to reproduce from someone so old that he might not even see their kid graduate from college. She will be a lonesome widow in her 50s too. She will likely be alone for the 30+ years she has left, it's hard for women to date at that age
@@TuAmigoElMorrocoy well so far everything is working out as planned. Our baby is healthy and if I happen to pass before she graduates from college, they will have each. She will also have my family and my wife’s family to lean on if necessary. Also, I have set up an email for her that I send life lessons to, that she will be able to read when she gets older. All is good. When my father passed I went into a dark place. Her was my best friend. But I am hoping the letters to her email she will get to know all of me as her father.
@@mor.6860Awww. Just when I was abt to attack you 🤭… Sounds like you’ve got everything panned out. Keep up with your health because a 30 something year old woman might not see the seriousness of it yet. We start worrying in our 40’s… ❤
@@TuAmigoElMorrocoyThey’ve been married 14 years, so she was 24 when they married. So what you say makes no sense?
@@TuAmigoElMorrocoyAlso, that’s a bit of a sweeping statement about women dating in their 50’s…… how old are you?
I'm 28 and currently dating a woman who's 34 and I have to say this is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. She's so patient and easy to communicate with. She makes it a point to create a very safe environment whenever a difficult conversation needs to be had.
She sounds like she is wife material
My experience too. Older women i found are way less complicated. The older ones know what guys want and have the maturity and experience to make it work .
I was in the exact same boat, dont make her dreams yours, which is probably having babies rn. Live your life. Just trying to share my experience and help in anyways, she might be different but dont be offended wit what i am telling you. I like responsible people and my ex was another baby who wanted to have a baby. Guess who would have to be a daddy to both😅, like literally
@@McLovinBoo8ies these niggas are so naive 😹😹😹
@@gavinclaassen6440 My experience says otherwise, If I only knew the shit storm I was getting myself into.
The most important thing is your attitude towards the relationship. As a man, I fall in love easily, but I take my partners for granted quickly after I win them over. So, the love devolves and the relationship ends. I have dated women a few years younger than me and a woman 10 years older than me. Same results. Some people are not made for traditional relationships. I know my short falls and have just given up.
I dated someone 17 years older than me. Now Im dating someone 13 years younger. We're both grown, he's not too young, he's 23 (now you know my age 🤣) but it works 🤷🏾♀️
Well I'm 22 dating someone 12 years older than me so kind of similar
put me on game. As a 21 year old how can I pull older women
@@moneymakinmitch8130be your best version of yourself
Love your content. It’s always so balanced and interesting. I’m in an age gap relationship with 16 years between me and my partner with me being the younger partner. I was 30 when we got together so not young and naive. It’s honestly been the most connected relationship I’ve ever had. Communication is the big difference, and we just click. Similar values and interests. I’m lucky my partner wants to start a family and hasn’t yet so we will be going through that milestone together. Yes - I do think about the future and the fact that health issues may arise later down the track, and that I may end up alone. But in the end having the time you are given with a person you absolutely love and adore is better than many many years with someone who isn’t right for you.
Very good points , wish you both all the love and happiness
I have been thinking about this,better a few years in a great relationship than many years in a sad relationship
Agreed, and my ex is proof that settling is the worst thing you can do
I'm 42, she's 21. We've been happily together for over a year now. It was never about age, but rather our chemistry and compatibility are outstanding. There's always going to be outside judgment, but it doesn't bother us.
Good for you! I married my wife when she was 21 and I was 35, we've been together 29 years and we have two great sons. At the time I was looking for someone much younger, and I found her in the Philippines. I make no apologies for our age gap and never did. Now all these years later it all seems so academic. I only watched the beginning of this video because I can't stand when people make up stupid arbitrary rules about things like age gaps. To me, "half your age plus seven" sounds like someone's attempt to box people in and create an artificial social standard. I also hate when people get psychoanalytical. I'm a libertarian at heart... run your own race and do what makes *you* happy.
Teddy is only 29?? He has the maturity of a 35-40 year old..So you would be ok with a man 10-15 years older than you!
You're both adults and can do what you want. Period. Anyone judging needs to stay in their lane and mind their own business as far as I am concerned.
beautiful
I just turned 30. I met my partner who is almost exactly 21 years my senior at age 29, and we are starting our family. From date one we discussed how many kids we wanted. It was serious. We both *knew* this was a relationship worth exploring on that level and cutting out the fluff. Both of us are intentional, relationship-oriented people and happened to meet on the same page on the same day. Destiny, karma, God’s plan, happenstance… whatever it is, it’s right for us.
I’d been in age gap relationships prior, ranging from 7-13 years difference mostly. I’d also been in a long-term relationship of 7 years with someone only 2 years my senior. Let’s just say, when it came down to my readiness, clarity on what I was looking for and desired out of life by 29, I had already been open to age gap relationships and practically placed a quiet guarantee that I’d end up with an older man… Every time I’d go on a date with someone around my age, I was reminded just how far I had ascended past the consciousness and maturity levels of our age group and found it hard to find the depth of soul and experience I was seeking in a partner. I’ve lived one lifetime as an artist and gypsy. I’ve lived far from a “normal” life in society in every sense of the word, so the concept of age gaps being “taboo” or hearing that people judge them had little affect on my decisions.
I had confirmed and was clear with myself that I wasn’t going to procreate or marry someone my age a couple years back as I was single and dating, preparing for the next phase of life and narrowing down on my love list.
I also have to say: The right partner enters your sphere when you are in the practice of embodying life with them already!!!
I’d been practicing, imagining, and becoming the wife and mom I saw myself to be before it became real. I remember a client of mine bought her wedding dress before she even met her man- she met him that same year and was married the next. Some of us defy odds and intuit the changes coming, so we prepare and expand our container to meet them.
But like manifesting in general, you have to move out of your own way after you set your intentions. Expect nothing, but if you do, make sure it’s the unexpected.
To anyone curious about age gap relationships and have never been in one:
Go for it. ALL Relationships are here to help us transform and becoming who we truly are. They exist to teach us, heal us, and expand us. Age gaps specifically will show you how trivial your current life phase is in the scope of life as a whole, while you embody the lessons for the first time. The dual perspective you receive is so helpful in your individual becoming.
Hey u from?
These are the energy fields, tapped into and transcended their consciousness on a metaphysical realm. The spiritual feminine who understands themselves in such ways and is in the flow. Notice you heard nothing of materialism or such self serving expectations to be met, or such notions. All you read there was from a place of love, and the chiefs kiss of making such preparations that draw in a next phase you desire. It already exists, it just hasn't happened yet.
good, then don't let the 7 year ich defeat you.
you will have no 2nd try, make the most of what you have and follow your vows. 'from sickess to poorness'
Hi, love your work Courtney. So there's 12 years difference between my girlfriend and me: 49 / 61. Its working incredibly. Here's why. Age number in itself [when you're in this bracket] is far less important. Ours is working because of our: similar rich life experiences [inc. bruises and lessons from past marriages), equal maturity, shared goals and ambitions, dreams, morals and values, willingness to commit and... physical/animal attraction.
When i was dating, i had a rule about dating younger vs older women for the exact reasons courtney lists in the video. Somewhere along the way, id decided to only date women who were within 3 years younger or older of my own age. Several years later, "life" would disprove my "3up/3down" rule as i would ultimately walk away from the dating market after my 2nd divorce.
I agree
I'm 28 and my preference is right around 25-28 range when they've had a little experience in life. 18-23 year olds are way too immature and don't have the slightest clue what they want when it comes to dating and also come with a high maintenance attitude as well as a huge list of unrealistic demands.
30+ years olds I've encountered are too damaged from previous relationships, don't take care of themselves, too set in their ways, career driven rather than wanting a family, or have some sort of resentment towards men in general.
Appreciated hearing these insights.
You can date 23 years Old because the age gap is Only 5 years apart 23 and 28 years Old are both Young couple because you're in the same generation unlike 23 years dating a 35 38 years Old That's More weird I'm 26 years old my preference is 20-23 I prefer 3 to 6 years gap which is the normal age gap I mean I'm not Old Man I'm not 40 so I can date women who's 20 years Old she's only 6 years Younger than me it's more weird if she's dating a Guy who's much Older than me I'm from Romania here in Romania it's normal
Certainly true about the 30 plus crowd of women. Any woman should be told career or family, you gotta pick one at some point before you’re 30, and keep in mind it’s gonna take a few years at least to find someone to build a family with.
I think there are some mature younger women, they’re just super rare.
@@tommyvercetti9322 You wont think it's weird when you are older.
It is context sensitive on many attributes. A 41 year old can have the happiest most real relationship with an 18 year old as I know someone, and their intentions and happiness outweigh any other relationship I've ever seen. He looks only about 25 tops though and is really healthy and she is very mature acts like a 30 year old and looks bout 22
When they walk holding hands, nobody would even think there's much of an age gap. He's English she's Fillipino, and the only people who judge, are mostly jealous folk who can't find what they have together. :)
I don't think they would have initiated if he looked older or she acted immature, but in that case the balance was absolutely perfect and they fell in love with each other fast, shared no end to familiarities, and spend all day expressing how important they are to each other.
If I had first heard 41 and 18 if just assume the guys some fat old chap with 💰 but seeing this love has made me totally rethink age gap relationships and there are very sweet good people in the world still.
If we vibe, we vibe. Whether that vibe lasts through the years and decades, is another matter - many factors. But age is not really a factor when love and attraction are just blind.
Courtney is spot on with another great video. I'm skeptical of data analysis, though it's nice to have; what matters is how you feel when with your partner, and whether the relationship is complementary, regardless of age, where the focus should be on bringing out the best in one another mutually in a balanced give and take relationship.
As I age, I am learning to listen more, say a little less (but no less to speak when needed and necessary), and to give room for differences in ideas and views without arguing.
Self-reflection is key to adjusting oneself to be better than yesterday - it's a sign of maturity. I wish to be in a relationship to give a little more, even alot more, without holding back, to have loved fully, than be calculative about how much I receive - with the hope she does the same for me. It's why communication, compromise and the touching of love languages are foundations for all relationships. Lady luck is part of our personal fortune to meet someone complementary. The challenge is, we tend to take things for granted when in a long term relationship and we do not treasure what we do have. Be grateful for the good in your partner, and if you get 75, 80% of what makes you happy being in the relationship, there's just an ease and calm and a settled feeling when together, it's really a blessing - then compromise with give and take on the balance 20%. There ain't no perfect fairytale relationship. So don't expect one, and we'll not be disappointed.
Great video. As you said, everyone's interactions are different. We can bring up examples from all sides, it truly depends on the people involved.
I found this video fascinating. A quick story - I met this older woman last night that was clearly in her 70s and I'm in my mid 60s. We seemed to hit it off. However, I saw her age as a factor and did not pursue a relationship with her.
After watching this video, I would have looked at other factors besides age: Instead, I would have started to look deeper into how similar our values, interests and life goals are. This could have swayed my decision to date her since she was clearly interested in doing that with me.
I feel like one of the hardest parts with age gap relationships is depending on the range, the older is willing to throw "experience" into any conversation and treat the younger like they don't know anything. I deal with it all the time because I'm a 22 year old female who wants a stable family and relationship, but people keep telling me to learn myself more which I've been doing more than I get credit for.
Don’t let anyone judge you into making decisions you don’t want to make. ❤
Let no man despise thy youth (1 Timothy 4:12) :D
All jokes aside, this has been a motto of mine. I get weird looks when I say I’m working towards a family at age 23, just haven’t found the right guy yet. It’s all about perspective, attitude and goals, rather than what’s common for your age.
As a 42-year old who recently went back to college and sat in a classroom with a bunch of people half my age, my take on the "experience" line is that it's less a question of "more" experience and more a question of *different* experience leading to cultural differences. Differences with a lot of potential for friction.
I mean think about it for a moment: a lot of the technology that was the most outlandish science-fiction in my childhood were ubiquitous things that a lot of people took for granted during yours. And add to that very different social, economic, and political circumstances during our formative years.
You know your heart better than anyone. We all have different emotional and physical needs. Pursue what makes you happy :)
need to give the young person credit for their youth as well
My father was in a huge age gap relationship when I was growing up. Actually, he was much older and in his late fifties when he met my stepmother who was 26 when they first met. My mother had died a few years earlier from cancer. He remarried at age 60 but unfortunately died a few years later from a rare autoimmune disease that didn't have any effective treatment at the time. I haven't really dated anyone significantly younger or older than myself, but that's mostly because I'm attracted to people with certain personality and character traits.
You should do a video on the five love languages. It was created by marriage counselor named Gary Chapman who noted how a lot of marriages and relationships struggle because each partner feels and expresses love differently. There's not enough time and space to elaborate here, but it is quite fascinating. They are 1) words of affirmation, 2) quality time, 3) gifts, 4) acts of service, and 5) physical touch.
The 5 Love Languages is a great suggestion! I would add to check out the work of Dr. John Gottman; his work on relationships is hugely insightful as well. 👍
Interesting video Courtney, love your work! I got out of a relationship with a woman who is 20 years younger.. future plans didn't match. Now I'm dating a woman 4 years older. Let's see where it goes :)
I’m 36 he’s 19… I’m an artist he’s a producer . I’m a libra sun and rising and he’s a Scorpio moon and libra sun …. Our chemistry is so magnetic
Very true. I’ve been in a 20 year age difference lasting almost 10 years. I think two hippie, off grid, DIY, artsy, farmy types would generally work well with a big age gap. But if the older guy is leaving his corporate job while the younger woman is starting a similar career, it will be problematic to a greater or lesser extent. Ultimately it’s down to how much two people truly LOVE each other. Without love, no relationship will last satisfactorily. It will be more like a convenient codependence otherwise.
That's an interesting view point ..
I live off grid and have obviously built my own cabin ..
My friend is 30 years younger and she is the one who instigated the friendship..
I also have another woman 30 years younger who is interested and she also instigated the friendship
Luckily I don't sleep around but after dating 10 women I decided they are the 2 I like having in my zone .. .
I am 51 btw so do the math 😄
So glad that TH-cam recommended your channel to me. I must have watched a few dozen of your videos over the past week. So much great information. Thanks!
I’m so glad! Thanks for being here and for the kind comment 😊
It's common in the real world on love. My ex wife is two years younger than me. Now, I'm dating a woman who is 27 and I'm 40. I would like for you to do a video based on us men are attracted to women who remind us of our mom. This woman I'm dating reminds me of my late mom who I lost back in 2011 and she has a few gifts that mimic my mom & it melts my heart completely 💓
I'm 79, my GF is in her early 30's. I've dated or been in relationships with younger women most of my life. After my 50's, I use'd a formula of 1/2 my age, then ''minus to plus five yrs", whichever worked. I'm young at heart, go to the gym regularly and believe communication, trust shared, love 'n sexual compatibility are the most important things. My last GF died 5 yrs ago, 'n I grieved almost 2 yrs. I'm a firm believer in "age is just a number", as I don't look, nor physically act it... 'nuff said.
You look old as hell sir
I met my wife at a party when she was 16 and I was 26 and she was always flirting with me which I found annoying as I was obviously not interested. Despite everything we had a lot in common and we spent a lot of time together gaming online and talking in general, but even though we had a good connection, I wasn't looking for a girlfriend and I liked being just friends. However, we started to hang out more and two years later, she was now 18 and I was 28, we kissed for the first time and it was from that moment we actually started dating. We got married 5 years later. She's now 39 and I'm 49 and we are happily married for 16 years now with 4 beautiful children.
Beautiful story my man.God bless you all
yeah pedo lmaooo, bro wasnt interested when she was 16 and suddenly the itch flipped when she turned 18 and the law wouldnt do shit to him now, almost makes you think if my guy over here wasnt interested or afraid the law would hunt him, yeah you got it
Pretty creepy
ah, almost like her age was never an issue for you, had she been 13 15 or 16 it wouldn't have mattered to you, a 26 year old man, outta college, old enough to be in med school, a 16 year old girl in 10th grade, wow you both must have so many things in common innit? you also had one more thing in common, both of you went into puberty at 13 years old, the only catch is that she was into puberty for 3 years then and you were for 13 years, don't we just love how the mental growth she did in 3 years was equal to the one you went thru in 13 years? almost like you were a pedo file, almost like you're either lying abt 18 and you did that with her before that bc her age certainly never seemed to be the issue for you. You're obv so happy when you're not in reality, yeah she must be very happy after she was groomed innit? but somehow she wouldnt let her daughter have the same relationship with a man 10 years her senior who she knows obv doesnt care if shes 13 or 16 like her father didn't, it's almost like she knows it's fucked up. It's giving pdf file and cradle robber tendencies
@@ivanvidojevic2461 ok groomer
I’ve been dating women in their 40’s since I was 20. I’m fine with this.
😳. Ok…….
I’ve known an older woman for a few months, (30f, 22m) yesterday we had a long talk, confessing that we love each other and we both find each other very attractive, that we’re constantly on the others mind. We want each other, even though im much younger. We have chemistry that neither one of us have found in anyone else, similar values, world viewpoints, goals, plans, etc.. We both know we are compatible, the problem is she’s worried about the age gap. She’s worried about what people would think, and she told me she feels like a creep for having these feelings. Although I would like someone to be closer to my age, I understand this compatibility rarely ever comes, and for some people they will never experience this. This is an opportunity that I really do not want to pass up.
For a bit of context, I’m an attractive young man and she’s a very attractive woman, especially for her age, she looks not a day older than me. We met at work and have gotten to know each other very well over the past few months through dating and just hanging out. I’ve talked about the relationship I wish to have with her to the people in my life with mixed reviews, and she has done the same. Thing is, my father and stepmother were best friends with him being 35 and her being 24. Compared to everyone else in my life, who only dates casually (aka a hoe) or many, many failed relationships, theirs is the only one that has worked. I live with them for 4 years until my fathers passing a few months ago at the age of 51, and saw how well their relationship was. It was the most beautiful relationship I have witnessed in all my life and I just know I’d like the same for us as well. My stepmothers opinion on how I handle my relationships is what means the most to me, and she believes that it can work out based on how much I’ve shared about my woman over the phone with her. She told me that if it was some other 22 year old man dating a 30 year old woman, it’ll be a different story due to most my age being very immature, something I agree with. She told me that although I’m young, I’m very mature, something that doesn’t exactly come with age. I’ve been told this a lot by most of the people in my life and I agree.
I want to build a relationship with this woman, we are very much compatible and I believe it could work out, but she has some worry. I don’t need to get into the details about her, but she’s what all men truly want in a woman. Thanks for reading
Based on all the success stories hear and personal experience it seems like a great match, I hope it worked out.
As a 46 year old man getting back into the dating pool I’m finding Courtney’s videos very useful and informative. I am curious if the marriage success rate is higher as the age increases between both partners? If I’m 55 and she is 40, so the stats look more promising vs. if I’m 45 and she is 30. And as I listen to this video there are many factors that also play into the success of the relationship.
Hello Courtney, somehow I stumbled upon your channel and wanted to let you know I really enjoy your content. I am a man over twice your age but think your videos have a lot of value. You have a lot of wisdom, especially for someone in their twenties. I wish there were more older women who think like you.
As far as the age difference issue it's best to be around the same age or maybe the man a bit older but I know of some examples where there was a big age difference and it did work. My uncle is around twenty years older than my aunt and the have been married over thirty years. My best friend's wife was sixteen years older than him and they were married over twenty-five years until she passed away from cancer last year so it can work.
I'm 62 and my girlfriend is 37. We are so alike and compatible. My moto is "don't let anyone tie your laces who hasn't walked in your shoes".
Wow that's a huge age gap
I just turned 17 on September 5th, And I think I wanna date a 15 year old(she'll turn 16 on Abril next year before I turn 18), We're both in highschool I'm 11th grade and she's in 10th grade, What do you think?
This is useful. I am an older single guy and currently all of the single women I have regular contact with are significantly younger and some of them are showing an interest in me. I genuinely care for the ladies in question and I am concerned about right and wrong in general. Most of the videos I've seen has been about how to attract younger women while I am concerned about the morality and ethics of doing so of pursuing the ones that are already showing signs of attraction.
i'm 21 years old and the age difference between me and the woman i date is 7 years (she's 28). we 'clicked' from the start, but we never intended on getting close and intimate, this just happened. We share many common interests and i feel like i develop with her by my side. She is just simply amazing. I adore her sense of humour, personality and a wide knowledge she possesses. Personally, the age gap does not bother me, she says the same thing. Luckily for us, she also looks way younger than she is and i look a bit older than i am so we do not get any unpleasant looks when we walk together on the street. We've talked many times about it and both me and her are ready to make an effort to make this work. Does anyone think that a relationship between a 21 years old male and 28 years old woman could work? Obviously, i am aware that it all depends on people and that not everyone is the same. Life priorities is an issue that i heard many age-gap couples face, however i am near to finish my university degree and i seriously believe that this could work as long as both of us show enough committment
My grandparents had the same situation as you too, with my grandmother being the oldest. They met when she was 27 and my grandfather 21. That was after the second world war. They got married some months later and had three children and 7 grandchildren (all daughters and granddaughters). We lost our grandfather at the age of 76 due to a car accident and my grandmother some months later, due to severe depression after the death of her husband. They were much in love with each other and pushed each other to improve themselves. My grandfather put that kind of example in our lives of how a man should behave, that all 7 of his granddaughters ( between 21-28) search for a man like him. It worked fine for my grandparents.
@@rosemarie5489 first of all, thank you for even bothering to reply to my comment, really sad to read about the loss of your grandparents but im sure they enjoyed their lives to the fullest. it's been 2 months since i posted my comment and im happy to say that the relationship i found myself in has escalated in a positive way and im super happy and satisfied to be able to experience that. 2 months ago i felt pretty insecure and unsure where things would go but to anybody reading my comment and having similar circumstances, i would advice to just give it a go and see where things go and hopefully you will find what you're looking for.
Courtney, when I was 29 I met a girl that was 21 were under the same zodiac sign. we were married for 43 wonderful years with no big problems and raised one daughter together. Until she was diagnosed with cancer, the love of my life passed away 6 yrs ago. So age gap marriages do work.
She was at her peak fertility between 18-24, so it makes sense that you were happy.
I don't even consider 8 years much of an age gap, especially once you hit 40.
@@adamgraydon3255 I agree, because 8 years younger than 40 would only give her 3 years to have children.
@@nimson50 peak fertility is 15-18
@@suziepeaches321 not pedophilic babe
I think compatibility is the key and not age differences. Do you have the same goals, beliefs, and life style? These will reduce the times when you are struggling as a couple. It was my first and only marriage while she was on her second. We had the normal periods of strife but when we concentrated on the things that matter, we were able to come out better for it. I lost her to medical problems but still we had 38 years together. I consider those years the best years of my life and where I matured the most.
I am 3 months into a relationship with a 33-year-old woman and I am 44 years her senior. I was reluctant to entertain this and just wanted to remain friends. But she insisted, and after two months I agreed to try it, and we found that we are very compatible on many levels. She appreciates and views my life experiences as a bonus in our relationship. I am also not wealthy by any stretch, and I made this abundantly clear early on in our friendship. So, she was never led to believe that I would be her financial savior. We seem to just be very compatible in every respect. And we are looking to the future together.
Her reasoning for selecting me as opposed to someone closer to her age was that she said in all her previous such relationships, the men were either immature not very thoughtful, or unreliable.
So, we will see how this goes.
I am in a similar position... she is 35.5 years younger than me. I, too, have tried to put her off, but she has said her reasons for wanting to be with me are similar to those of your girl.
@@michaelcash5489
Good for you, man. It has been just over 4 months now, and despite several rocky moments, she has persevered and, to this day, has never asked for money, which is what all my friends predicted would eventually happen. In fact, she has offered to send me money, if I mention something that I would like to have or do but can't for a lot of funds. I have never accepted, but it made me feel much more comfortable that her interest is genuine and her professed love for me is sincere. So, we will see how it ultimately ends up. I am very hopeful that we can have a future together and be happy. And I hope that is true for you as well, Michael. And thank you so much for sharing.
When I was a teenager, I was always attracted to older people. I always had a thing for older musicians (the only men I am attracted to). I'm a lesbian though. I always sought out older women when i became older. I found my wife when I just turned 23. She is 12 years older than I. We have been together six years and I love every moment of it. She's mature, confident, fun, and nurturing.
Honestly there is so much variation with this. I know someone who has a 20yr age gap with her husband and they are so happy together. I've also seen the opposite be true. My fiance and I are only a year apart and our dynamic is fantastic! But that took some work for us to get to this point. Love comes at you in a plethora of ways, you just have to be open to it when it pops up.
I think you pretty much nailed it - love and relationships are complicated because people are complicated.
A close family friend of mine married a girl of similar age when he was mid 30s, no children, divorced a few years later, then met a beautiful woman 10 years younger than him, got married, had a kid right away and they're both fantastic together and make a lovely family. You just don't know where life will take you sometimes.
It would be interesting to know how/if those divorce statistics per age gap might change depending upon what age the younger partner is at the time of the marriage. For example mid 20’s vs mid 40s. Thank you for your great content!
Agree. I was what would be called a bad boy. Had my fill by late 20s, I purposely chose a less experienced woman because I had to many bad relationships with woman who were party girls and had as many or more notches as me. I was 27,she was 19. 15years and 4kids. I got lucky and love her more each and everyday.
It is always to listen a smart and educated pesrons like you to talk about these important matters. Thanks and greetings from Mexico City.
@@attraktive Thanks very much.
So much damage all in search of perfection that doesn't unfortunately exists in the human realm. And love has lost it's meaning in the search of that elusive "perfect partner".
Hey Courtney. Really like your content. You look fabulous, well put together, and classy. Your content is informative and really helpful. Maturity is a HUGE key. First wife was 10 years older sequentially, but 20 years younger in maturity. Fun, but only lasted 5 years. Current wife is 5 years older sequentially, but 10 years younger in maturity. I've been married to this woman 38 years. A lifetime. Right? We're good together. Went thru huge ups and horrible downfalls, but we clung together and will most likely die together. Maturity and a willingness Not to run at the first sign of trouble I believe are really the attributes that keep people together. Keep up the great work!
Excellent post. I've been married and divorced twice with me always being the older. The age difference in my first marriage was 2 years, our marriage 9 1/2 years. In my second marriage, the age difference was 7 years, our marriage lasted 24 years with an included 4 year separation.
I am in the process of remarrying and age only plays a factor as a "general rule" by not considering under 26 year-olds, however, I do make rare exceptions. I am "73-going-on-43" and am "entertaining" women with age gaps between 50 and 33 years. Both my former wives and I are Christian; we went to pre-marital counseling and got married in the church but both marriages didn't last.
And here is, I believe, the reason why. We were behind the proverbial "8-Ball" from the get go because we were never told as I suspect the majority of marrying couples today are also not told, "The person you marry on your wedding day be the same person a year, 2, 5, 10, 20 years down the line so you CAN NOT just GO from here, you have to GROW from here."
I also suspect that anyone reading this post has been to a wedding(s) but they've heard the couple say on their wedding day, "Oh, we're going to get divorced later on." But obviously they do; something happens between the "I do!" at the altar and later on, "I don't...love you anymore."
No matter what the age difference is, we cannot predict the future. Life may throw curve, fast and change-up balls at us so fast and having us striking out so fast our heads will be spinning so much that the typical response is probably, consciously or subconsciously, "WTF (my apologies; couldn't resist, but more likely than not it reflects the raw energy coursing through their emotional veins) happened!!? We didn't want this! We didn't plan this!"--but it happened.
The good news is while we may not, in essence, prevent birds from crapping on our heads, we prevent them from "nesting there." And THE most effective way of "growing together" (sidebar: note, the issue isn't "age difference;" no matter what the age difference, if you haven't discovered what I believe is THE way of growing TOGETHER, by default you will grow APART resulting in, best case scenario, a relationship void of "fulfillment" and worst case, divorce.) is by SHARING FEELINGS, what we THINK, from a purely INFORMATIONAL perspective without be manipulative or controlling,
The problem with telling one another what we "think" versus what we "feel" is it's INACCURATE information. In the beginning and "in good faith" we act on the (inaccurate) information we've been given and so, net result, the desire or need goes unmet. Since we're not using the proper "tool," sharing feelings, the pressure of the unmet needs and desires builds up over time until one day the "volcano" explodes! And it's kind of hard to stop the lava from flowing down the hill...unless, from my spiritual bias, God's grace intervenes.
Why is it that some relationships perhaps experiencing the same or similar kinds of unmet needs or desires last longer than others--because people are different; we're unique individuals who have different "thermostats" in dealing with pressure. Why do couples stay together in spite of the unmet needs and desires (typical of the older generation)? They "turn off" the furnace of their desires and needs and SETTLE for LESS than God intended marriage to be, going "through the motions" with EMOTIONS OR PASSION leading lives of "unrealized fulfillment."
❤Thank you for enduring my "dissertation." Much Love & Aloha through Jesus from "Paradise," aka Honolulu! ~ Jubilee John, "The Neverending Honeymoon" Dr.! ^_^* ❤ 😇
I once conducted a study about the mortality of couples based on their age for an evaluation method of joint life insurance. One of the strange findings was that in cases where the wife is older than the husband up to 5 or 6 years old range, the joint life spans of those couples are significantly longer compared to other combinations of ages in couples based on the life table given. The data can only show there is a correlation but I still find this somewhat interesting.
Interesting, my BF is 5 years younger than me so that's a positive 😆
I'm 43 goin on 44 and all the women I have dated the pass 15 years have been 7 to 21 years younger than me, so this video makes perfect sense!! 😀