1. "A real man would..........." 2. "If you really liked me you would...." 3. "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" 4. She gives Ultimatums 5. "This is just how I am" Bonus 6. Anything related to Astrology :)
I went on a date with a girl and she asked me my zodiac sign. I told her I didn't know. After a few questions she guessed my correct sign, told me her sign, then said we are 32% compatible. In my mind I was thinking that now we have a 0% chance.
Guessed your sign correctly after asking a few questions? Well you're right about one thing, you'd be a terrible match for someone that smart. Your ignorance would drive her nuts.
@@andyc3012 that’s what I’d have asked, Greek or Chinese. Kind of agree with op. It tells a lot about someone when they rely on that stuff to that level.
I got one: "A real man would do what he wants whenever he wants, would have his own thoughts and opinions, and would never allow himself to get caught up in what a manipulative woman would deem a 'real man' because he's his own man." There you go.
After getting divorced in 2005, dating several broke ass screwballs for 10 years or so I finally threw in the towel in 2015. House is paid off at 59 1/2, a nice fat 401K, no credit card debt and I can retire at 62. Much less stress, no one depending on me for $$$$, no criticism over petty things, no more messy house, no more fixing cars for women and Im actually not lonely being somewhat of an introvert to begin with. At almost 60, I just don't need the aggravation. Ive been quite comfortable living by myself for the past 7 years.
One woman I dated long ago criticized me for treating her well. She said my consideration for her wants and needs made her say, “you’re more like my girlfriends.” We ended our relationship not long after that comment.
That's a huge red flag. It means she's been severely misltreated in the past, and thinks something must be wrong with you cause you like her. These types of women almost always (unfortunately) gravitate towards men with issues or who seem 'difficult' to deal with. Even worse, a lot of those women really need some therapy, and clearly aren't doing the work to repair what's broken in themselves.
You gotta balance the nice guy and bad boy traits. Thats the key. Give women comfort and security, but also excitement and the concept of danger. That of shit goes down you can kick some ass. Love her like a nice guy, fuck her like the bad boy. Sex is an artform, learn your craft. Practice it. Explore her. Play her like a fine and expensive violin. But also, know when to bang her like a bass drum in a marching band. Finally and probably the biggest one we struggle with. LISTEN to them, and dont try to solve their problems. They arent asking you to most of the time. Just listen and affirm. Learn when they want a solution vs validation.
One red flag for me, when I was dating, is when the a girl would say "You can't handle me." If it's flirtatious, I don't take it seriously, but I've had girls say it to me like I was looking for a challenge and they were the challenge I was looking for. It's a red flag. I take "You can't handle me" seriously. What I hear is "If you date me, or end up marrying me, I'm going to make your life more difficult." My life is already difficult, I don't need more. So I'm going to take your little saying as a free warning you just gave me.
Words of wisdom I was told 40 years ago: A person can only hide who they ‘really are’ for between six months and a year. Please, please wait at least that long before getting engaged or worse, getting married. Be safe out there!!!
true, some reveal themselves in 3 to 4 months, which is what most of my relationships lasted... but still, to make sure, wait at least 6 months, and if you live together thats a bonus, things will reveal even faster
It isn’t so much that they “hide” who they are but rather you see the spectrum of their character over time. After 15 years with my HS sweetheart’s trust and effort diminished and divorce was inevitable. Build a strong foundation of “self” to avoid crumbling when life gets tough.
I remember an episode of Daredevil where Kingpin was in an art gallery and he was had an interest in the curator there, and she mentioned how most men would make large art purchases to get her attention, and his response was "A woman that can be bought isn't worth having". That has stuck with me ever since
Being six figures and 58 years old. I'm so glad that I have reached that age now to where I can honestly say I don't give a funk about any relationship anymore. I'm happy with myself and that's the way it's going to be for the rest of my life.
From my experience, another major red flag I think worth mentioning is when a woman says “all men are trash” (same applies for men who say “all women are trash”). Furthermore, it’s a big red flag when anyone says “ALL men/women are ___”
@@53Strat because it's generalizing. Unless you actually dated every single man/woman on earth then maybe saying that holds some worth but highly doubt it. Also it implies that they only attracted and/or chose to let bad people in their lives.
@@53Strat I also just ended a 3 year long relationship, and the biggest warning sign I didn't see was actually mentioned in this video. "This is just how I am." On the surface it sounds okay, the way she spun it was that "she should be allowed to be herself and not pretend." The problem is that all relationships are about compromise, there is no perfect person for you, and to completely refuse to change or grow in any way makes you toxic. She yelled at me all the time for simple things like questioning facts she told me. One of my friends once said his gf "was not the perfect woman, but she became one." My gf was there, and told me this pissed her off, because "she shouldn't need to change for him." I'm sorry, but in a healthy relationship, people need to change.
If she is ever talking about “figuring her life out” “working on herself” tell her good luck with that and leave. You may think that supporting her during this is a good thing, except once she “figures it out” the new her is going to need a new man that doesn’t know her old ways… and that’s not you!
I mean a good thing if a woman works on herself, but if she is genuine about it, she wouldn't mention it like that to you. It shows that she needs validation from it, instead of wanting to simply get better. Same goes for men.
Omg, I lived this and you're exactly correct. Couple hundred thousand dollar divorce settlement later I realized. So true, he's right don't be the "sensitive guy that's going to help her find herself". Fuck that, just say good luck, bye.
@@Dafreshcut I’m not saying its a bad thing for her to better herself, just don’t expect to be the one she wants to be with once she does “figure it out”
@@mike06422 yea, you're right. Girls are always looking for more, something "better", but it mostly boils down to looks. They get bored of one person so they look for another. Men can also get bored, but they don't have the luxury of picking anyone.
Thank you for this video. I dated a lady who said, honest to God, all of these to me in the two months we dated. When I found out her body count was over 300 I said 'nope' and walked away. Also she was huge into astrology. Her dating profile talked about the Pisces woman and how amazing she is. Ugh.
Thank you for your videos, the irony of then is my ex did all these things and always made me feel like I was losing my mind but I loved her unconditionally. Then out of the blue she said I’m just not what she needs, we sold our house and we moved on. She said she still wanted to date though but the more of your videos I watch the more I saw how horrible of a person she was and she never was a partner. Thank you because I stopped fighting to get her back and I’ve been so happy when I finally let go.
Watch Courtney Ryan and Kevin Samuels and you'll never have problem you cannot identify EARLY ON and accurately. Then, you can make intelligent decisions about who to bring into your life.
I'm 72 years old now, single, and out of the game. I clicked on this for late night amusement, but when you got to #5 I heard this loud bell in my head. I was dating a very sexy and intelligent girl (we were in our early thirties) and after the usual 1-2 month honeymoon she started to show an ugly temper. When I asked her how she expected to get away with such abusive behavior she said "Well, if you want a smart, sexy woman you'll just have to put up with it." Of course that was the last time I saw her, but I did call a few weeks later to say an official good bye, no criticism, just goodbye.
I made a point not to tell my wife who she could see, where she could go, or what she could do. What I told her was she knew right from wrong and knew being married meant there were certain restrictions on what was acceptable. She was free to do / choose what she wanted but that I also had a choice whether I wanted to remain if I didn't accept her choices. We were both cheated on during our first marriage and set rules for acceptable conduct pretty early early when we became exclusive.
Your videos are infighting & spot on,at 65 years old & now single after my spouse passed,2 things I find toxic are when she buys clothes for you & says oh I think you'd look good or expect you to put her on a pedestal like a trophy for others to view,both have happen to me & I can't run away fast enough,I am an adult & know my style don't need to be your dress up doll & if you're insecure of yourself & need my praise uh nope
4:13 - I feel like Courtney took this saying out of context and only focused on the Physicality of it, rather than the emotionalism aspects of this saying. That quote does not always refer to Criminality or doing bad unto others. In fact, I have never seen that quote used in the context of Physically doing something bad or committing a crime in the name of Vengeance. I have always seen that quote used in the sense of Emotions and how your partner handles stressful or otherwise anguishing situations you are experiencing. Like for example, losing a loved one. Will your significant other be supportive of you and patient and comfort you when you break down, or will they be impatient and find that you are being too overly emotional and by now they should just move on? Another example, Let's say there's an incident where you lose your job or your business goes under and there is a time of struggles and limited money. Will your significant other be supportive and try to pick you up out of the bad situation, or will they be angry and abusive over the ordeal because of the lack of money flowing in? That's the proper evaluation of that quote. Not what Courtney was claiming. While there is a very minority amount of times where the context of vengeance/criminality can occur, It's not the root premise to the quote, and I feel Courtney misinformed us on this quote.
Three weeks before our wedding, we're at a Christmas party. A group of about eight people (including us) are in a circle just doing idle chit chat when she contributes, "All men are assholes." Dead silence. The group just scattered for other parts of the room and left the two of us standing there. I'm just looking at her when she says, "What?" "Am I an asshole, or am I not a man?" "I was just kidding.' Biggest mistake of my life was when I let the wedding happen on schedule.
@@SonofDaVinci4 It ended three years later. Just too much bs to overlook eventually. Also it was thirty years ago, and I'm over it, but I still like to tell the stories.
Bonus item: "I'm a strong independent woman" for the simple reason that 95% of the time if a woman says that, what she means is "I'm not at all strong or independent". You know what I've never heard an actually strong and/or independent woman say? That they are strong and/or independent. You know why? They would think it's beyond ridiculous to say something that is quite obvious.
Mine said that. Was polyamorous. In the end wasn't single or independent. Needed men to do the work on her house and car. Was never strong enough to have a normal conversation to work on things or even give an explanation after the discard.
Thank you for including the astrology issue. And after personally dealing with this, I can say that using Myer Briggs results against someone to stir up issues in a relationship is a major red flag!
Courtney, I don’t know if you read comments, but I’ll tell you this with all due respect: you are incredibly beautiful, inside and out, I wish I had had that kind of advice growing up, although my parents hardly ever gave me verbal advice about my sentimental life, they did so by example, they were married 52 years before my mom passed away in 2004, then my dad died last year at 92 years old. I’m 66 now and I thank God for keeping them alive so long, I always looked up at my dad and tried to live my life the way he did, they never yelled at each other in front of us, which is really hard to do, I’ve been married 31 years and we scream at each other a lot. I don’t want to bore anyone so I’ll leave it at that. Keep up your good work and hope that the newer generation kids listen to your good advice.
When I was active on dating apps I would see these red flags on many of these women’s profiles and I would immediately swipe left. After a while, I decided to get completely off dating apps and life is so more serene 🙏🏻
10:53 You've probably said it 1000 times. If she ever says she's into bad boys. Run, do not pass go, do not collect 200... Another thing. If she ever breaks up with you. That's it for a relationship with her. If you take her back it will only be proof that she was right in the first place
@@1337hal Anyone can be confident or shaky inside. A bad boy will be economically and emotionally unstable. Self centered and unwilling or unable to support a woman
*1. Real men would..?* (In Denial & Undervalued) *2. If You really liked me - You'd?* (Guilt-Tripping) 3. "If You Can't Handle me at My Worst, You Don't Deserve at My Best" - Oh god. So many Wrongs with that Quote (I've *Studied Philosophy* ) This ain't it. Like.. anywhere near it. *4. She Makes Threats?* (Ultimatum - Very Narcissistic FYI) *5. Astrology* - Check V (its really Cringe)
I’m glad you said it because if it came from me I would be labeled a hatter. I’ve dealt with females like that for over 30 yrs. I have kicked each and everyone to the curb. No regrets.
These were good points. Wish I could have had this video years ago. I was put into an ultimatum situation, did what she want and now i'm living with my manipulative mother who is almost as bad as the women you see in the videos who are super selfish and have standards that no human can reach, but absolutely no standards for themselves. I have done the "this is who I am" thing. I got tired of her complaining. For years I did my best to change every time her feelings were hurt by something I said, but it was difficult because I had to lie to keep from hurting her feelings and I don't like lying. If I lied she got mad; if I didn't lie then I was being rude and hurting her feelings. I was often exhausted because I worked, took care of home (she helped cook sometimes) and still pursued music (sometimes walking several hours to get to a show and still going to work the next day). She mainly slept all day and hung out with her friend. I never asked her for anything except to clean up after herself and when she had parties to ask her friends to throw their stuff away instead of leaving cookware and trash everywhere. So I was fed up and she complained so much I was convinced I just wasn't what she wanted. I get there are differences between people, but at some point I started to question if she really wanted to be with me or if I was just a convenience. Especially since she cheated on me.
🥰 As a much older lady, this IS great advice. This is advice I would share with BOTH genders. So applicable to behavior I've witnessed in both Female and Male ideology today. I worked for many years at a university. Therefore, to anyone wanting a true relationship, don't be the red flag individual.
I’m so glad that you said that anything astrology related is a red flag. I hate it when girls are either complaining or rejecting stuff about guys that honestly are so little. “I wON’t DAtE HIm cAUse He’S a GeMInI!” When are people gonna realise that everybody in this world is different.
the worst about it is, we are supposed to believe vvomen are some sort of really enlightened being yet they cling to something so trivial and dismissable as astrology and the logic of assigning traits to the "zodiac" signs. it's all rubbish. that throws almost all of their thought process and ability to be taken seriously out the window.
Sounds like a joke there. When you say "everybody in this world is different", and the example is not dating him because he's a Gemini...well, Gemini means "twins", so in that case, twins are not very different ;-) .
Courtney really making me realize how toxic a lot of the girls I've dated in the past were. At this rate I'm actually going to develop standards for the women I date.
Be careful with this. Since what she pinpoints are very common ways of communicating expectations or setting boundaries and if it's a red flag or not really depends on the context of the situation. Real red flags are for example if a girl cannot have fun without abusing any substance or is willing to sit in the lap of another guy when going out with you or tries to convince you taht her ex should spend a night with her at your place- yes, real life stuff. Has happened to people I know. But saying " A real man would.... or if you loved me you would..." is actually common among happily married people I know and it's not really such a big deal if both sides have healthy distance to it. Women are simply often taught not to be direct about their expectations hence such ways of referring to some ideal "real man" instead of saying to her man " it would please me if you would...". Surely, depends on culture too. But in macho cultures very common. As for ultimatums, were if it's any major crisi situation that''s last resort attempt at boundary setting. Happens in long-term relationship after crisis. But if it's common without a crisis and you have just started dating then yes, it is a red flag. So it's hard to devise a simple list of such things away from a context.
@@agatastaniak7459 I'd say it is you who should be careful of how you form your advice, especially if it's directed to the other sex. If men are widely agreeing here, on what is said on the vid, it is a huge note to take for you, not the greatest moment to tell us that we may all be wrong. It's a huge red flag when women comes in and want to act smarter when faced with blatant male expression of their needs and wants. And I am not sure how you observe people, but couples that I know, where the "real man would..." blackmail occurs, are among the miserable. Have a nice day
@Agata Staniak You make some good points but I don't trust women. Sad but true. At my age, dating women my age....well, there is a reason they aren't still married after 30 years.
4:07 Good point Courtney. Most people who say that, usually their best is nothing much. But that saying also assumes that doing something good makes your bad points okay or excuses them, and it doesn't work like that.
I got one; when she's constantly saying things like, "I'm just worried this might not go anywhere." Guys, if she's constantly saying this, even after addressing it more than once, just end it! You don't want to be with a pessimist! Eventually, you need to ask, "well, what are we even doing here?" You wanna find yourself a woman who's going to look you in the eyes and say, "I'm in this for the long haul!"
I was talking to a pessimistic woman it was SOO draining. I’d argue it’s one of the most important factors in determining the success of a relationship. HOPE.
This is called a comfort test. They can be a good thing if infrequent but assuming you aren’t a complete bozo if you are getting hit with these things all the time she may have an insecure attachment style which is a big problem for the relationship.
The one about her taking accountability was good for me to hear. I just had a relationship tank for that reason. I was expected to bail her out of every situation that she found herself in. She ghosted me because I wasn't able to help her anymore. She called back the other night after 2 months and I finally had the nerve to say go back to whoever you've been sleeping around with because I don't want you anymore. She came back with some lame talk but I think she got the point. A man has to think about whether he is being used or not.
I think I heard most of the lines back in my early 20s. The "real men..." line can really sting deep in our insecurities, masculinity and pride. It definitely made me question myself as a young and impressionable 20-something guy no matter how confident and arrogant I acted. Suffice to say those relationships with girls who used that line never lasted long and they go through men like it's candy.
Story of my life. My wife lives by the 3rd example you gave and constantly reiterates how "emotional" she is, a BS excuse to lash out at people and expecting zero consequences. We have a kid together, I'm sticking around for his sake. As soon as he's old enough... I'm out.
I wouldn't do that. Speaking as a kid who's dad left in middle school. Yes it was hard, but I got to eventually see both parents happy and as long as both parents are still in the childs life.
As both the son of divorced parents and a divorced only parent myself, DO NOT STAY FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN. This is the biggest, most destructive lie that we tell ourselves. When you are in an miserable marriage, your kids will see it, and they will be asking themselves and you questions. Mommy and daddy are yelling late at night, mom and dad don't talk or show affection to each other, why aren't mom and dad ever happy with each other. All you will do is set a dangerous and destructive example to your kid as to what a relationship looks like. Also they he may start blaming himself for the cause your problems because there are going to be arguments and fights with your wife over the kid. Get a lawyer and get a divorce. The real question that you are going to have to ask yourself is who do you want to have primary custody? I would also look for a personal therapist to talk too while you are going through this because it will not be easy but your kid will be better off especially if you and hopefully her are able to find happy, health relationships.
@Jonasz314 - Troy May above is on target ! Kids can pick up relational issues ... if you are daily walking on "emotional eggshells" ... now is the time to get out.
5 Things Are Woman Say That Are Major Red Flags;🚨🚩 1. A Real Man Would...... 2. IF You Really Liked Me,You Would..... 3. If You Can't Handle Me At My Worst,You Don't Deserve Me At My Best. 4. She Gives Ultimatums. 5. This Is Just How I Am...Deal With It! 6. Anything Astrology Related. Blissful Weekend Kings&Queens🌷
You have put yourself under men's shoes and thought about all these scenarios. Thanks a lot Courtney 🙏. You are an angel. "It is better to be alone than in a bad company"
The fact that she is done that yes she is right cuz she has put herself in their shoes. The real problem is these other women don't and we all know the Golden rule treat me like you wanted to be treated. These women think they're so damn special that they should get everything they want I'm not compromised to make their men happy so they lose.
All the points you made we’re exceptionally accurate and poignant. The one that really stood out to me which I resonated with the most was “that’s just who I am..”🤮 I’ve had first-hand experience of that and I locked off the entire situation immediately. That is one of the most toxic and damaging mentalities a woman can hold, so ugly, super happy you touched on that.👏🏾👏🏾
After dating numerous women I totally understand and agree what you say !!! I'm beginning to think that is it really worth being in a relationship, are we really better of alone in this day and age ? I've given my all ! And most women wanting to be a queen is tyring not to say the least ! Are most people damaged now days ? It's difficult to commit with the baggage people carry ! It always commences with good intentions. I would so truly love to be with a woman who understands her true nature. But alas, 63 yrs old and never met that woman. So be it. I'm lucky to like my own company. Although I would love to share my experiences and adventures in life with an honest woman. Love to all, and all to love 🙌💛🙌
Great video Courtney - and very informative! Several years ago I had a female cub mate at work, and we were pretty close, although she could be manipulative. One day, she asked me to intervene on her behalf in an area that was none of my business. She told me me, "if you really liked me you would do this for me." I responded, "if you really liked me you would give me sex whenever I wanted." She replied, "I deserved that." She never tried that again on me!
Very well said Courtney! ALL of these examples are a clear indication of the state of mind and attitude of the current generation of "most" (not all) women's psyche. Our society, popular culture and social media ALL proliferate this type of attitude amongst women. Why did women start being so entitled and obnoxious? Why did women start being so mean and edgy? And while we are here, let's talk about the prevalence of "potty mouth" amongst women today. The level of vulgarity and rampant abuse of the "F" word have become so commonplace that no one seems to even notice that it has become part of their vernacular. My how we have regressed as a society.
I couldn't agree more. Working at a university, I couldn't understand how BOTH genders thought speaking with such course and undignified language was a "good thing" I often wondered if some of them really knew WHAT certain words really meant. The definition to the language.... As much IS degrading and unrefined. 🙁 In fact, once I did ask, the poor individual did not know, when I explained..... Needless to say, this person was shocked (a very young person) . But as to most? I still wonder if they understand, I mean really understand. 🤷
Women who tell you "No one will love you if you don't love yourself". It's already hard enough for us guys because sharing feelings is seen as a weakness to most. With guys like me with chronic depression that makes it a ton worse. This saying implies that if you doubt yourself at all in any way no woman will ever like/love you. I understand a lack of confidence isn't attractive. But saying that shows she's both judgemental and clearly doesn't care for you. Big red flag.
Love yourself ... don't care for any woman's opinion about you and they have no way but to love you ... women are needy and unfortunately most men these days are simps ... being depressed is not a character flaw ... love yourself and succeed in your life and your perspective will change ... a man has to be the leader of the relationship and if you don't love yourself, you can't lead
I have shot more big game, and stuck it in the freezer, been in more fist fights than I can recall and worked my ass off. If a woman can't take me getting tearing eyed watching a movie......to hell with 'em. Bye.
"because sharing feelings is seen as a weakness to most" and the fact that people, both men and ESPECIALLY women in my experience, are subconsciously trained to view men as less of a victim in society, the sayings "women and children first" and "but its different for a girl" exist for a reason.
Girl ive dating for 2 months told me “In the past men have spoiled me and you dont do enough for me. You dont spend enough on me.” This was said after I paid for all the dates and I flew across the country to see her after she went back home. Any thoughts?
Yes, leave her. She apparently does not appreciate the fact of traveling the long distance to see her and paying for the Daye! I am a woman, please let her go. A good woman would so appreciate your kind gestures!
My two cents: If she says she's always right even when she's not. That's a big no. That just shows heavy narcissism and believe me. It is so exhausting to deal with someone that can't ever fathom being in the wrong...
I was beginning to think that the third one you'd mention is "I'm a feminist". That's something I don't really mind, but that just depends on how far she takes it. I don't like the ones who blame men for everything wrong in the world, or think women ought to be in control of everything that is everything.
@Joe Here's why feminism is a red flag: There's a term for equality between the sexes: Egalitarianism. To define 'equality' based upon what women define and want is actually a form of psychosis like a child who thinks the world revolves around them and that is what is "right". Even at its best, a feminist who says that women started the movement to perhaps be treated more equally is now moot since women have all the legal rights that matter (and then some) so a "nice feminist" who still uses the term is not out for men's rights (even if that's what she's mostly talking about) but rather a feminist apologist (looking to campaign for the rights of other groups to lend her own feminine special rights agenda some credibility). More on this regarding Courtney.
Well femininity and feminism are not the same thing so you need to change that brushing off of the shoulders mentality there because femininity is what Courtney is about, and feminism is not about equality it is about dominance so any girl that claims to be a feminist and that doesn't know the difference, like how Courtney knows the difference, will want you to become her slave and you shouldn't want that for yourself. If you try to help her distinguish and she quits calling herself a feminist, then that's great and I would certainly reward her but if she doesn't see the difference and she doesn't care to quit saying it, I would leave because things will inevitably turn sour because those women do not understand the beauty of femininity they do not value and respect the sanctity of masculinity
It depends. Before wokeism became a thing I worked with a very politically conservative young woman who told me she was a "feminist" but she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom; to her "feminist" was just shorthand for having three kids one after the other, staying at home until the youngest started grade school, and then returning to a career. That's not even feminism to me - my mom worked my entire childhood - but it was feminism to her because her mom was a stay-at-home mom. So I would put it more in the category of, "it's a red flag if she is repeatedly making a big deal out of it" category. I mean, I assume most militant feminists will hang themselves with their own rope on that topic anyway if you just let them talk. If a girl just uses the word once casually and moves on I'm not sure I'd write her off just for that.
Thank you for calling out that these as red flags to hear from guys as well. These are worrisome to hear from a partner, but we need to check ourselves to ensure we aren't being manipulative either.
The astrology thing is so true!!! 🔥 It's so unfair to judge somebody before you know them at least one bit! And I know what it is, I was judged many times because of my autism, and high functioning depression. I know they have their cliché behaviors with them, but I know that I can be a dementor, and that I can be toxic with suceptibility or negativity when it overwhelms me. Every person is different, astrology might be helpful to direct you toward somebody you like, but never close the door completely, because in the end the probability of finding the ideal person 99% is very, very low, and accepting non red flag or minor imperfections is a key in a couple.
"She had shouted the word "divorce" at him numerous times, even threatened him with it. But now, she began crying, begging him. No, it was not over, she did not want to be separated, it had not been spoilt, and he realized that this was his wife. He had married her, he had taken her on as his life's main project, and now, almost for the first time, she was asking him for something she really wanted and needed, and that he could give." from my soon to be published novel on this topic. Thanks for your great video.
The second one comes as the following list as well. If you really loved me... If you cared about me... If I mattered at all to you... If I was important... I'm sure there's other variations, but these are the ones I have heard. Oh and because my father is a drug addict and played guilt trips and mind games, these usually had the opposite effect. It's not how you get what you want from me.
My wife and I were going to marriage counseling at her suggestion. I was pretty sure she was having an affair. as the counseling sessions were winding down I asked the counselor " How should we deal with an issue if we can't resolve it? ". The answr I was expecting was more counseling ( more free money for them ) The answer I got as " Is the issue worth walking away from the marriage" Perfect answer!! Also gave my wife a free pass to do whatever she wanted. In the end she tried to manipulate me by threatening self deletion.
@@randym.hernandez1408 They threaten suicide so they can make u feel guilty (as if u are the only reason they are living). Whether or not they are serious (and im sure they aren't), it's not worth staying with someone who will only cause u misery
Penny: I'm a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know. Sheldon: Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
Perhaps it does. This has been studied for thousands of years. You can also look up the Sagittarius personalty type, she thinks she is that type. Is she deluded or perhaps this actually gives you her personality type? Don't assume that by calling yourself rational that you are actually being rational in dismissing Astrology. I don't expect you've looked into it enough to actually know because you believe you're too smart to bother. Mind you if she is into Astrology she probably does not care much for the dogmatic zero personal research science you believe in. Probably not a good match.
@@wayland7150 It's been studied dozens of times with tens of thousands of participants in scientific studied in peer-reviewed journals in the last 50 years. It is complete nonsense. No more predictable than a coin flip. Pls just stop.
@@drewodessa2483 are humans plants tho? Yeah I thought so. Also if this whole horoscope thing was so true, why don’t our fellow animals born throughout the year have the same personality traits as those around the same day or month?
Yeah the accountability thing has been an issue. Told a girl recently she lost some respect from me after bailing on me on coffee dates twice. She said I’m sorry you feel that way, but I gotta do what I gotta do. Then the next time I saw her about a month later was avoiding me like the plague.
@@mikedoyle7300 there wasn't a chance too do that. She kept talking about how busy she was, yet had time to go out of the state twice and then out of the country for a month. Hence why when she said she didn't have time to date over text, I told her face to face she lost respect from me.
Man, resonated hard 5 years later after my relationship with a person like this! So many ultomatoes i had put up with. It really messed with my head and has still left me feeling confused for future relationships. I wonder if this type of women ever lose these traits?
Also calling you insecure for expressing real issues in the relationship is a good one, I've seen plenty of relationships like this once, have even been in one, where the guy expresses he didn't feel comfortable with her having male friends who were clearly into her, and in turn she says he's being insecure and not trusting her enough as well as saying the usual "you're being controlling" type of thing, when in reality she's just giving the guy more reasons to doubt her, not understanding that trust is earned not given, and once the relationship eventually ends she's with one of her male friends a week later, if not way before that when she was in the previous relationship. I really think that if you want to be in serious relationship you have to give reasons for the other person to trust you, and not expect them to blindly trust everything that you do, and it's actually very disrespectful to completely disregard something your partner feels uncomfortable about simply because you like the attention.
Mmm how does she earn trust if she can't have the friends? Trust is earned sure, but you're not giving her the chance. Yes it is controlling to say no male friends. 100%
@@walexander8378 "Male friends who were clearly into her" Oh, i'm fine with her having friends, just not the kind that hit on her constantly while she already has someone, allowing that behavior from guys close to her even though they know she's already in a relationship comes off as disrespectful, both from her part and theirs.
@@walexander8378 no Is not controlling. Is just respecting the relationships. If you wanna have male or female friends, be single. Your mom I bet doesn't have male friends.
Life is about making adjustments. To not adjust is like driving a car without touching the steering wheel: you're not driving it. If both partners are making adjustments, the relationship will go a long way.
A detail to take into account is that some women do so to men who are 100% committed to the relationship. Those women know those men try to work it out, but they take advantage of it by making men feel insecure about "their love" to them. The expression ; "You don't care about me enough" is such a trigger to make some men feel badly about their commitment to women.
Right on, Courtney and great advice as usual. As a guy, I realize I cannot make a woman, or anyone for that matter be held accountable. I CAN and DO walk away when they refuse to behave well, lie, cheat, and are too domineering to me. Accountability is is like kryptonite to most women. NGL 100% true. I hate it when ppl (not just women) say "That's just how I am...!!" Very toxic and narcissistic. I live in CA and lots of these women out here are mean, picky, and shallow. And stuck up! Again, not all are like this but most, esp. close to SF/Bay Area, LA, and San Diego. At least SoCal has better looking women, I will give them that. Oh and the astrology one: if she says signs or talks about "the universe" when dating, HUGE red flag. It means later on, if the universe tells her to be with diff. guy, she'll go with it. Again, no accountable behavior.
It took me awhile and few lady friends to figure this out. I dumped my last girlfriend because of these signs you listed. Soon afterward I met my wife, she has never expressed any negative feelings about my persona. My wife adores me and I adore her.
Thanks for the vid Courtney! I have been mentioning the astrology red flag for a long time now, and it's funny because that bs seems so far out there yet I have met several girls who believe in this more than their ability to actually communicate with someone... honestly saddening, but really glad you mentioned this. Never date an astrology liar!
The bottom-line is: Yeah girl, I really like you because I'm dating you. But a girl who REALLY liked me back wouldn't try and make me violate my boundaries for her.
I dated this woman when I was younger that always wanted to go to the high end establishments. I have beer taste and she was of the champagne crowd. Anyway, we had a date to do The Top Of the Town. Last minute thing, I got called to go to the next city over, but I told her I would pick her up but might be a few minutes late. Got to her office building at about 5:05 pm and she was walking out the front door. I was 5 minutes late and she told me, “Im on my way home since you were late!” There had been several’red flags’, but this was the end. She thought we were going to get married and I was thinking, “NO WAY.” It wasn’t really violating my boundaries as much as accepting who I am.
A favorite story...a friend of mine started out being interested in a girl he worked with. She said "all men want just one thing." Over several days he tried to explain to her that it isnt true. She wouldnt let go, later saying she needed a man to keep her secure, but she agreed to go out with him after a few weeks. He took her to a place extremely romantic, and had picnic dinner (Asian food takeout, bottle of wine, etc.) At the end of the date he took her home, and walked her to her door. She invited him in. He got this smirk on his face, and said "If you think that men only want one thing, then you must want one thing from men, and your willing to do what men want to get it. I don't have sex with prostitutes." He then left. She never came back to work while he was there. He calls it his "Hate Date."
Or... She just wanted to talk more, flirt more and, maybe even make-out. There is no guarantee she wanted him to come inside to have sex... Your friend doesn't sound like a nice person.
Wow...your friend sounds like an asshole. While I Don’t have all the facts, maybe that was her intent, maybe it wasn’t, but he jumped the gun a bit don’t you think? Instead of seeking to understand her intent, he just impulsively called her a prostitute because she invited him in? I’d be slightly traumatized if I were her and sex wasn’t my intent, and yeah I probably wouldn’t show up for work either because I’d want to duke it out with that asshole. Shows a lot about how he thinks of women, and that’s not a friend I would ever have. Especially with the prostitution comment, I’m sitting here thinking, what the fuck? I think SHE dodged a bullet with him. I mean, I can understand why 2 people who have already known each other for quite some time (i.e. coworkers) would hang out at each other’s place on the first date, because There’s more than likely already been a certain level of trust and rapport established at work. I would do the same thing if I were in her shoes, and I wouldn’t think any less if my male coworker I was on my First date with would invite me to his place either. Again, trust is already the baseline for coworkers. Maybe I want to show him my sick collection of (insert object here) or chat, get to know each other and make out since we’re in private? Sex most definitely wouldn’t be happening. Many people can actually control their impulses and don’t behave like wild animals when in the homestead of someone they’re attracted to, who they’ve known for a while. A lot of the time it IS just making out. HOWEVER, If it’s 2 strangers on their first date however, that’s completely different, and I think your friend may have gotten that majorly confused. In that case, an invitation to the other’s place is thereby a direct motivation for a one night stand that more than likely would not develop into anything more meaningful.
@@333angeleyes or maybe the OP is only telling you the relevant parts of the story instead of making the comment a 50 shades of Grey chapter. If you haven't got anything good to say, ask yourself why you're online. Peace
Hi Courtney, that Astrology point was interesting. While I've never had astrology get between a woman and I, it seems like EVERY woman I meet is into either tarot cards or crystals. As a result, I've kind of had to accept it if I was to ever talk to another woman. Your Red Flag videos in general have helped me realise I wasn't as crazy as I thought I was by deeming certain behaviours as Red Flags. Thank you.
The first point you mentioned was the favourite of my ex wife, and her sister. They would say it whenever I'd tell them anything they had asked of me was unrealistic, and/or dangerous to do long term.
Wow! It’s hard enough to work a relationship with one person, but for all practical purposes, it sounds like you were married to both of them. When I was in HS, I dated a girl and her mother was so involved that it was as if I had this dual relationship. All my buddies felt sorry for me.
Great video, direct and to the point. If only I could flesh out some of these things very early on into a relationship I would have saved myself from a lot of emotional torment lol.
My ex took me to "healers" to "fix me", when I'm perfectly fine the way I am. I was told "it was my astrological year for immense change", bla bla bla, and naive me bought into it all. Putting her on pedestal cost me dearly on one hand, but removed huge naivety in me, on the other.
You are so right!! No person should feel like their significant other thinks or would think less of them because of some manipulative reason. If your S.O. says something along these lines to you, they don't love you and are more interested in the "take" than the "give" of the relationship. I'd feel sorry for that person, because their parents or education system failed them. They missed a few crucial lessons in loving others. It's not difficult to be considerate of others, especially those you care about. Love unconditionally and expect nothing in return and you won't be disappointed.
Ask her the following question: "What is a woman?" If she gives you some feminist or wokeist crap run away. She is not the kind of woman you want as a wife and raising your children.
4:15 To this day, I still remember one girl from college who posted that quote on social media about 10 years ago (one of many girls who did so). She was pretty hot, and is now fine for her age. I remember actually thinking to this day "Do they really think this is somehow good? Bragging about your flaws online and, on top of that, implying that you're not going to correct them and that a man should be willing to deal with? Do they not realize that this repels men?". She is 31 now, living in a studio apt., and the only male in her life seems to be her pug.
Well is everyone willing to change because someone said "you need to change"? Tbh it happens natural lt, people change. And even if someone says this phrase (or posted it on social media lol dont get me wrong but it s just a facade we dont know what she really is), it doesn t mean they ll never change, it s more like a defensive act and also, it dépends on the context
I recently met a girl that seemed so into me. Played the cute innocent girl whit "baggage" She did wave a red flag ot four though. "I used to have a crazy side to me, but I moved away from that environment so.. I'm cured." 😅 "I GOT to have my way" "I need a least 3 compliments each day" "I hit people" You get the idea. Still I met up whit her. At her place. But the red flags just got bigger and brighter. Now she is acting like a Bad B whit an attitude. As I suspected she was.
Yeah I laugh at that one a lot because there is no true independence, your parents can help you become an adult but women are rarely strong mentally physically and emotionally which is why I always laugh
I’m a psychology major and what you say is pretty good. But just to add some stuff to what you just said, there are pros and cons to each behavior. For one is the ultimatum. Yes it’s not good to do the ultimatum because it does not give your partner to do any healthy choices without being manipulative. But an ultimatum can also be a good thing as well if you’re trying to get a positive behavior or gain self-worth then it is OK. Also, you mentioned about high standards. This goes for both men and women, it is really good that some partners have some high expectations. You have your realistic, an unrealistic beliefs. Keeping your expectations low and your standards high is the ultimate plan for success. You did a good job in your video, I can comment on each of your statements, and elaborate more in a psychological level, but that would make me write a thesis paper on your topic. Keep up the good work.
Candace Owens has a video that basically said, men have 3 reasons to make a second date, women have 300 REASONS to Not go on a second date. Let that sink in.
I can't believe there are guys who allow that to happen. I understand some people are lonely and some to the point of desperate. Every time a woman brings that, " a real man would" crap. My response is always, "you want a five thousand dollar purse then get off your ass and get a job". Lol!!! I went above and beyond ONE time. That was the LAST time.
I tend to look at the astrology thing as being about how seriously someone takes it and how it plugs into their life. For some, it's an affectation -- a fun game -- and they treat it as such. That is harmless. For others... well, there is a reason why (as a 50 year old man), I have learned to avoid middle-aged wicca ladies. That whole cluster of affectations hides a thick layer of bitterness and misandry. And often anti-vaxxing too. Almost without exception. Stuff like that is really more suggestive of a larger basket of potential problems than actually being the problem. There are many, many examples.
I noticed the last red flag you mentioned in this video on my ex. She was hot-headed and was exploding at the slightest thing. I wasn't allowed to oppose to her on any subject. The thing is that she told me "I am hot-headed and I know it. That's just what I am." That made me upset on the long term until I said "No, I don't deserve to put up with this! I don't owe you anything!", and I ended the relationship. I still fell relieved to this day that I am done with her. We haven't heard from each other ever since.
I once asked a girlfriend of mine why women are manipulative. I can't forget her answer till today. She said, "YES we're manipulative because it's still a man's world and not ours. We've to work our way around you guys...." Till today I find myself agreeing with what she said. Okay - BTW I take Courtney's tips seriously. Coming from the mouth of a beautiful woman, I better pay attention to what she's saying. Yeppa!
you my friend, were dealing with a misandrist that sees men as less of a human and more of a collective, especially with her nasty "you guys" comment lol, she even included you, thats a pretty generalizing and manipulative stance to take in life, so explain step by step how being in "a mans" world allows her to be manipulative towards men? actually no, someone like her is probably manipulative regardless of gender and probably never had a good male role model in life, its how sexism and misandry starts imo, so lets start critiquing her statement. "We've to work our way around you guys" more proof that shes a closet misandrist that thinks less of men deep down, men arent a collective that owns the world together lol, there are literally trillions of dynamics in her thoughtless statement, she also assumes women are a collective, which is laughably false, normal women in 1st world countries dont have to work around men, SHE does though it seems, and how does she specifically work around men exactly? and does she think men dont have to work around other men in most aspects of life? silly statement really, how old was she? if you live in a 1st world country, then it isnt a mans world, so even with her generalizing claim, it doesnt really apply, and even if it does, how does that give her the right to be manipulative exactly? the world isnt fair to many MANY ppl, including men, although many ppl today subconsciously deny that, but looking at statistics, men are the majority victim to far more crimes and bad situations that arent sexual based compared to women. drug addiction, suicide, physical abuse, homelessness, poverty rates, workplace hazards and accidents, muggings, stabbings, shootings, murder, theft even mental illness like Alzheimers and clinical depression for some reason(imo it has something to do with mens emotional neglect on themselves and societys hate towards victimizing men) i mean sure, technically its a mans world, but if your GF thought men worked together to build it, reality laughs at her face lol, it seems like shes just making misandrist excuses to treat men however she wants, like alot of women that say her statement nowadays. atleast now i know "BTW I take Courtney's tips seriously" how about asking Courtney what she thinks of what your gf is saying? pretty sure she wont agree.
She's not wrong, everything was built by men so you could say it is a man's world, but a huge part of it is built for women and families, and nowadays men seldom have a real voice or presence.
The way she was framing it like women have to manipulate men because of a victim mentality is hilarious. They themselves tend choose to manipulate that certain type of men, and that's their choice. They have thousands or millions of choices, and the thing about having too many choices is you tend to have a lot of doubts and regrets and can never be happy.
I think more guys need to start doing the “if a girl says this on a first date, RUN!” thing literally. Hi, Kate, nice to meet you. (Looks you up and down) “Khakis? Really???” *turns around and sprints full speed in the opposite direction*
The astrology one and “that’s just the way I am” go hand in hand. I avoid people like that, guys and girls. Having a sign define who you are as a person is so odd and an excuse to not grow and become a better person.
I am surprised how this kind of girls able to get decent men while really nice girls who never say these crazy things get trapped with abusive guys. Live and learn) Thanks a lot for sharing and teaching us
I really like your channel, gives me a good insight to see what women like and want from a woman, rather than a straight talk from a guy. Plus, (not hitting on you) you have the kindest and sweetest voice that make a guy want to watch your channel. Some of your videos I would need to watch again and again. Getting back to the Astrology and Zodiac stuff, I’ve been watching some videos on it and doing my research, because after my relationship of 5 and a half years ended, I was watching a video about the sign that my now ex girlfriend is and it told me a lot. I just dove into my relationship without knowing anything like that.
1. "A real man would..........."
2. "If you really liked me you would...."
3. "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
4. She gives Ultimatums
5. "This is just how I am"
Bonus 6. Anything related to Astrology :)
😂
“What’s your sign?”
Wait....so you're saying that the Gods of Kobol ? How will I live the rest of my life....
Ummm. Yup, I pretty
Much ignored all 6 in my
Last LTR. I might need some retraining! 😂
My last ex said all of these things. Shit had to end
I went on a date with a girl and she asked me my zodiac sign. I told her I didn't know. After a few questions she guessed my correct sign, told me her sign, then said we are 32% compatible. In my mind I was thinking that now we have a 0% chance.
Guessed your sign correctly after asking a few questions? Well you're right about one thing, you'd be a terrible match for someone that smart. Your ignorance would drive her nuts.
Thats kinda effed up... Sorry about it.
Should had used your Chinese zodiac instead
@@andyc3012 that’s what I’d have asked, Greek or Chinese. Kind of agree with op. It tells a lot about someone when they rely on that stuff to that level.
Cringe atheists be like
I got one: "A real man would do what he wants whenever he wants, would have his own thoughts and opinions, and would never allow himself to get caught up in what a manipulative woman would deem a 'real man' because he's his own man." There you go.
🙌🏼 you got it!
MGTOW!
And the good ones will respect you for it.
Still manipulating
based !!
After getting divorced in 2005, dating several broke ass screwballs for 10 years or so I finally threw in the towel in 2015. House is paid off at 59 1/2, a nice fat 401K, no credit card debt and I can retire at 62. Much less stress, no one depending on me for $$$$, no criticism over petty things, no more messy house, no more fixing cars for women and Im actually not lonely being somewhat of an introvert to begin with. At almost 60, I just don't need the aggravation. Ive been quite comfortable living by myself for the past 7 years.
My man!
Share your secrets with us 😉
At age 65, I hear you brother
Rent. My advice is rent if you get to that point. Gnomesayin?
Go off, King
One woman I dated long ago criticized me for treating her well. She said my consideration for her wants and needs made her say, “you’re more like my girlfriends.” We ended our relationship not long after that comment.
Don't be be Mr nice guy..all the time when dealing with women..
That's a huge red flag. It means she's been severely misltreated in the past, and thinks something must be wrong with you cause you like her. These types of women almost always (unfortunately) gravitate towards men with issues or who seem 'difficult' to deal with. Even worse, a lot of those women really need some therapy, and clearly aren't doing the work to repair what's broken in themselves.
They confuse caring with simping.
She should've been careful what she wished for.
You gotta balance the nice guy and bad boy traits. Thats the key.
Give women comfort and security, but also excitement and the concept of danger. That of shit goes down you can kick some ass.
Love her like a nice guy, fuck her like the bad boy.
Sex is an artform, learn your craft. Practice it. Explore her. Play her like a fine and expensive violin.
But also, know when to bang her like a bass drum in a marching band.
Finally and probably the biggest one we struggle with.
LISTEN to them, and dont try to solve their problems. They arent asking you to most of the time. Just listen and affirm. Learn when they want a solution vs validation.
One red flag for me, when I was dating, is when the a girl would say "You can't handle me." If it's flirtatious, I don't take it seriously, but I've had girls say it to me like I was looking for a challenge and they were the challenge I was looking for. It's a red flag. I take "You can't handle me" seriously. What I hear is "If you date me, or end up marrying me, I'm going to make your life more difficult." My life is already difficult, I don't need more. So I'm going to take your little saying as a free warning you just gave me.
Seems to me that the correct response to that would be, "Yep. You're right. Goodbye."
Went through the same thing with my ex. 😆
“I believe you : )”
Truly
I usually respond to that with "oh you mean I won't be able to STAND you. Gotcha. Thanks. Peace, I'm out✌️"
Words of wisdom I was told 40 years ago: A person can only hide who they ‘really are’ for between six months and a year. Please, please wait at least that long before getting engaged or worse, getting married. Be safe out there!!!
100 percent facts
true, some reveal themselves in 3 to 4 months, which is what most of my relationships lasted... but still, to make sure, wait at least 6 months, and if you live together thats a bonus, things will reveal even faster
I've read that with someone who has NPD it can last 1.5 years.
It isn’t so much that they “hide” who they are but rather you see the spectrum of their character over time.
After 15 years with my HS sweetheart’s trust and effort diminished and divorce was inevitable. Build a strong foundation of “self” to avoid crumbling when life gets tough.
My sister dated her boyfriend for around 10 years before they got married, still divorced
"If you can't appreciate me when I'm broke, you don't deserve me when I'm rich."
- Men Everywhere
“When”
😂😂🙌🏼
Facts 💯💯💯
💯 %
True
I remember an episode of Daredevil where Kingpin was in an art gallery and he was had an interest in the curator there, and she mentioned how most men would make large art purchases to get her attention, and his response was "A woman that can be bought isn't worth having". That has stuck with me ever since
Being six figures and 58 years old. I'm so glad that I have reached that age now to where I can honestly say I don't give a funk about any relationship anymore. I'm happy with myself and that's the way it's going to be for the rest of my life.
Hey suga daddy 😘
I'm with ya 💯 got no time for them... They're in the main one big head ache 😄👌🏿
I agree bro! Being single is absolutely great! No drama No BS! I love that.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
If I have to handle you - you don't deserve me.
From my experience, another major red flag I think worth mentioning is when a woman says “all men are trash” (same applies for men who say “all women are trash”). Furthermore, it’s a big red flag when anyone says “ALL men/women are ___”
Absolutely! This was in my part 1 video 🙌🏼
Why would that be a red flag in your opinion? I'm about to end it permantly with a girl and she also used to say this
@@53Strat because it's generalizing. Unless you actually dated every single man/woman on earth then maybe saying that holds some worth but highly doubt it. Also it implies that they only attracted and/or chose to let bad people in their lives.
Well they could just mean ALL that THEY have met are trash
@@53Strat I also just ended a 3 year long relationship, and the biggest warning sign I didn't see was actually mentioned in this video. "This is just how I am." On the surface it sounds okay, the way she spun it was that "she should be allowed to be herself and not pretend." The problem is that all relationships are about compromise, there is no perfect person for you, and to completely refuse to change or grow in any way makes you toxic. She yelled at me all the time for simple things like questioning facts she told me.
One of my friends once said his gf "was not the perfect woman, but she became one." My gf was there, and told me this pissed her off, because "she shouldn't need to change for him." I'm sorry, but in a healthy relationship, people need to change.
If she is ever talking about “figuring her life out” “working on herself” tell her good luck with that and leave. You may think that supporting her during this is a good thing, except once she “figures it out” the new her is going to need a new man that doesn’t know her old ways… and that’s not you!
@Matt Joseph FACTS
I mean a good thing if a woman works on herself, but if she is genuine about it, she wouldn't mention it like that to you. It shows that she needs validation from it, instead of wanting to simply get better. Same goes for men.
Omg, I lived this and you're exactly correct. Couple hundred thousand dollar divorce settlement later I realized.
So true, he's right don't be the "sensitive guy that's going to help her find herself". Fuck that, just say good luck, bye.
@@Dafreshcut I’m not saying its a bad thing for her to better herself, just don’t expect to be the one she wants to be with once she does “figure it out”
@@mike06422 yea, you're right. Girls are always looking for more, something "better", but it mostly boils down to looks. They get bored of one person so they look for another. Men can also get bored, but they don't have the luxury of picking anyone.
Thank you for this video. I dated a lady who said, honest to God, all of these to me in the two months we dated. When I found out her body count was over 300 I said 'nope' and walked away. Also she was huge into astrology. Her dating profile talked about the Pisces woman and how amazing she is. Ugh.
She admitted to you she's slept with over three hundred men? WOW!
300 though? How is that possible when I'm still at zero? 😱
Dear Lord man, lucky you didn't catch anything being within spitting distance.
Sounds like she is a witch😂
Thank you for your videos, the irony of then is my ex did all these things and always made me feel like I was losing my mind but I loved her unconditionally. Then out of the blue she said I’m just not what she needs, we sold our house and we moved on. She said she still wanted to date though but the more of your videos I watch the more I saw how horrible of a person she was and she never was a partner. Thank you because I stopped fighting to get her back and I’ve been so happy when I finally let go.
God I love how sane Courtney is, it’s like she’s a real person or something.
Yeah, she is so very sensible, I think her parents did a great job raising her.
Watch Courtney Ryan and Kevin Samuels and you'll never have problem you cannot identify EARLY ON and accurately. Then, you can make intelligent decisions about who to bring into your life.
@@damelos4039 still can't believe Kevin is gone
The kind voice of reason.
Courtney is allegedly a person.
I'm 72 years old now, single, and out of the game. I clicked on this for late night amusement, but when you got to #5 I heard this loud bell in my head. I was dating a very sexy and intelligent girl (we were in our early thirties) and after the usual 1-2 month honeymoon she started to show an ugly temper. When I asked her how she expected to get away with such abusive behavior she said "Well, if you want a smart, sexy woman you'll just have to put up with it."
Of course that was the last time I saw her, but I did call a few weeks later to say an official good bye, no criticism, just goodbye.
Such hubris and pretentiousness to believe because she is a woman that she can get away with abusing people as a matter of fact.
if they dont bring nothing to the table dont put food on their table
she sounds hot... just don't live with her
-If you want a smart, sexy woman, you'll just have to put up with it.
-When is she getting here?
she got away with that behavior long before you met her, she wasn't going to change, you escaped a nightmare
I made a point not to tell my wife who she could see, where she could go, or what she could do. What I told her was she knew right from wrong and knew being married meant there were certain restrictions on what was acceptable. She was free to do / choose what she wanted but that I also had a choice whether I wanted to remain if I didn't accept her choices. We were both cheated on during our first marriage and set rules for acceptable conduct pretty early early when we became exclusive.
Your videos are infighting & spot on,at 65 years old & now single after my spouse passed,2 things I find toxic are when she buys clothes for you & says oh I think you'd look good or expect you to put her on a pedestal like a trophy for others to view,both have happen to me & I can't run away fast enough,I am an adult & know my style don't need to be your dress up doll & if you're insecure of yourself & need my praise uh nope
4:13 - I feel like Courtney took this saying out of context and only focused on the Physicality of it, rather than the emotionalism aspects of this saying. That quote does not always refer to Criminality or doing bad unto others. In fact, I have never seen that quote used in the context of Physically doing something bad or committing a crime in the name of Vengeance. I have always seen that quote used in the sense of Emotions and how your partner handles stressful or otherwise anguishing situations you are experiencing. Like for example, losing a loved one. Will your significant other be supportive of you and patient and comfort you when you break down, or will they be impatient and find that you are being too overly emotional and by now they should just move on? Another example, Let's say there's an incident where you lose your job or your business goes under and there is a time of struggles and limited money. Will your significant other be supportive and try to pick you up out of the bad situation, or will they be angry and abusive over the ordeal because of the lack of money flowing in?
That's the proper evaluation of that quote. Not what Courtney was claiming. While there is a very minority amount of times where the context of vengeance/criminality can occur, It's not the root premise to the quote, and I feel Courtney misinformed us on this quote.
Yes, you are correct!
Three weeks before our wedding, we're at a Christmas party. A group of about eight people (including us) are in a circle just doing idle chit chat when she contributes, "All men are assholes." Dead silence. The group just scattered for other parts of the room and left the two of us standing there.
I'm just looking at her when she says, "What?"
"Am I an asshole, or am I not a man?"
"I was just kidding.'
Biggest mistake of my life was when I let the wedding happen on schedule.
Man, sorry to hear that. How long have you guys been married?
@@SonofDaVinci4 It ended three years later. Just too much bs to overlook eventually. Also it was thirty years ago, and I'm over it, but I still like to tell the stories.
@@tannhauser7584 Glad to hear that. 👍🙂
@@tannhauser7584 This happened 30 year ago?! Jesus.
Divorced?
Bonus item: "I'm a strong independent woman" for the simple reason that 95% of the time if a woman says that, what she means is "I'm not at all strong or independent". You know what I've never heard an actually strong and/or independent woman say? That they are strong and/or independent. You know why? They would think it's beyond ridiculous to say something that is quite obvious.
Any woman who utters this always says this because they are weak and overcompensating for their lack of strength and wisdom.
Very true.
Mine said that. Was polyamorous. In the end wasn't single or independent. Needed men to do the work on her house and car. Was never strong enough to have a normal conversation to work on things or even give an explanation after the discard.
My wife took 38 years to show this behavior
Just like I don't go around saying, _"I'm an upright, bipedal hominid,_ if you are, then you don't need to say it. 😂
Thank you for including the astrology issue. And after personally dealing with this, I can say that using Myer Briggs results against someone to stir up issues in a relationship is a major red flag!
INTJ social Introverted Virgo
Astrology isn’t an ick for me, it’s a no go.
my ex was into all that BS and was the “what time were born?” girl. She was kinda crazy and we’re not together no more
Still fun to think about.
Thank You! The Myer Briggs stuff is just as bad as the astrology!
Courtney, I don’t know if you read comments, but I’ll tell you this with all due respect: you are incredibly beautiful, inside and out, I wish I had had that kind of advice growing up, although my parents hardly ever gave me verbal advice about my sentimental life, they did so by example, they were married 52 years before my mom passed away in 2004, then my dad died last year at 92 years old. I’m 66 now and I thank God for keeping them alive so long, I always looked up at my dad and tried to live my life the way he did, they never yelled at each other in front of us, which is really hard to do, I’ve been married 31 years and we scream at each other a lot. I don’t want to bore anyone so I’ll leave it at that. Keep up your good work and hope that the newer generation kids listen to your good advice.
*Trust is essential, and if she hasn’t worked through her own baggage, it could lead to a lot of unnecessary tension and heartbreak.*
When I was active on dating apps I would see these red flags on many of these women’s profiles and I would immediately swipe left. After a while, I decided to get completely off dating apps and life is so more serene 🙏🏻
People on dating apps are just the same people as those who sit on the street begging for food..
@@andersnielsen6044 🤣
10:53 You've probably said it 1000 times. If she ever says she's into bad boys. Run, do not pass go, do not collect 200...
Another thing. If she ever breaks up with you. That's it for a relationship with her. If you take her back it will only be proof that she was right in the first place
But then turns around and said she wants love and respect
Nah bro.
If she says that, don't run.
If you have to, steal the fastest thing around and go.
@@iamnotamused317 Some of those diseases have no cure.
bad boys??? she just means confident like me :)
@@1337hal Anyone can be confident or shaky inside. A bad boy will be economically and emotionally unstable. Self centered and unwilling or unable to support a woman
*1. Real men would..?*
(In Denial & Undervalued)
*2. If You really liked me - You'd?*
(Guilt-Tripping)
3. "If You Can't Handle me at My Worst, You Don't Deserve at My Best" - Oh god. So many Wrongs with that Quote (I've *Studied Philosophy* ) This ain't it. Like.. anywhere near it.
*4. She Makes Threats?*
(Ultimatum - Very Narcissistic FYI)
*5. Astrology* - Check V
(its really Cringe)
I’m glad you said it because if it came from me I would be labeled a hatter. I’ve dealt with females like that for over 30 yrs. I have kicked each and everyone to the curb. No regrets.
These were good points. Wish I could have had this video years ago. I was put into an ultimatum situation, did what she want and now i'm living with my manipulative mother who is almost as bad as the women you see in the videos who are super selfish and have standards that no human can reach, but absolutely no standards for themselves. I have done the "this is who I am" thing. I got tired of her complaining. For years I did my best to change every time her feelings were hurt by something I said, but it was difficult because I had to lie to keep from hurting her feelings and I don't like lying. If I lied she got mad; if I didn't lie then I was being rude and hurting her feelings. I was often exhausted because I worked, took care of home (she helped cook sometimes) and still pursued music (sometimes walking several hours to get to a show and still going to work the next day). She mainly slept all day and hung out with her friend. I never asked her for anything except to clean up after herself and when she had parties to ask her friends to throw their stuff away instead of leaving cookware and trash everywhere. So I was fed up and she complained so much I was convinced I just wasn't what she wanted. I get there are differences between people, but at some point I started to question if she really wanted to be with me or if I was just a convenience. Especially since she cheated on me.
🥰 As a much older lady, this IS great advice. This is advice I would share with BOTH genders. So applicable to behavior I've witnessed in both Female and Male ideology today. I worked for many years at a university. Therefore, to anyone wanting a true relationship, don't be the red flag individual.
As a much older gentleman, I have to say I instantly go on the alert when someone describes themselves as a lady, or a gentleman!
Yup you’re right. What she’s describing is essentially cluster B manipulative behaviour and both men and women suffer from these personality disorders
I’m so glad that you said that anything astrology related is a red flag. I hate it when girls are either complaining or rejecting stuff about guys that honestly are so little. “I wON’t DAtE HIm cAUse He’S a GeMInI!” When are people gonna realise that everybody in this world is different.
I've had this happen a lot. Why is it always Gemini specifically?
@@archellothewolf2083 no clue, bro
the worst about it is, we are supposed to believe vvomen are some sort of really enlightened being yet they cling to something so trivial and dismissable as astrology and the logic of assigning traits to the "zodiac" signs. it's all rubbish.
that throws almost all of their thought process and ability to be taken seriously out the window.
Sounds like gemini man dodged a bullet there!
Sounds like a joke there. When you say "everybody in this world is different", and the example is not dating him because he's a Gemini...well, Gemini means "twins", so in that case, twins are not very different ;-) .
Courtney really making me realize how toxic a lot of the girls I've dated in the past were. At this rate I'm actually going to develop standards for the women I date.
Be careful with this. Since what she pinpoints are very common ways of communicating expectations or setting boundaries and if it's a red flag or not really depends on the context of the situation. Real red flags are for example if a girl cannot have fun without abusing any substance or is willing to sit in the lap of another guy when going out with you or tries to convince you taht her ex should spend a night with her at your place- yes, real life stuff. Has happened to people I know. But saying " A real man would.... or if you loved me you would..." is actually common among happily married people I know and it's not really such a big deal if both sides have healthy distance to it. Women are simply often taught not to be direct about their expectations hence such ways of referring to some ideal "real man" instead of saying to her man " it would please me if you would...". Surely, depends on culture too. But in macho cultures very common. As for ultimatums, were if it's any major crisi situation that''s last resort attempt at boundary setting. Happens in long-term relationship after crisis. But if it's common without a crisis and you have just started dating then yes, it is a red flag. So it's hard to devise a simple list of such things away from a context.
@@agatastaniak7459 k
@@agatastaniak7459 I'd say it is you who should be careful of how you form your advice, especially if it's directed to the other sex. If men are widely agreeing here, on what is said on the vid, it is a huge note to take for you, not the greatest moment to tell us that we may all be wrong. It's a huge red flag when women comes in and want to act smarter when faced with blatant male expression of their needs and wants. And I am not sure how you observe people, but couples that I know, where the "real man would..." blackmail occurs, are among the miserable. Have a nice day
And you'll never meet the right one. Sigh.
@Agata Staniak You make some good points but I don't trust women. Sad but true. At my age, dating women my age....well, there is a reason they aren't still married after 30 years.
4:07 Good point Courtney. Most people who say that, usually their best is nothing much. But that saying also assumes that doing something good makes your bad points okay or excuses them, and it doesn't work like that.
"I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME." EVERY woman that I have ever told that I loved has tried to use that as a WEAPON against me.
I got one; when she's constantly saying things like, "I'm just worried this might not go anywhere." Guys, if she's constantly saying this, even after addressing it more than once, just end it! You don't want to be with a pessimist! Eventually, you need to ask, "well, what are we even doing here?" You wanna find yourself a woman who's going to look you in the eyes and say, "I'm in this for the long haul!"
I was talking to a pessimistic woman it was SOO draining. I’d argue it’s one of the most important factors in determining the success of a relationship. HOPE.
Exactly brother!
If you're really about that, give her a boundary. If she doesn't respect it, dump her.
This is called a comfort test. They can be a good thing if infrequent but assuming you aren’t a complete bozo if you are getting hit with these things all the time she may have an insecure attachment style which is a big problem for the relationship.
Yeah she will be in for 7 years max 🤪
The one about her taking accountability was good for me to hear. I just had a relationship tank for that reason. I was expected to bail her out of every situation that she found herself in. She ghosted me because I wasn't able to help her anymore. She called back the other night after 2 months and I finally had the nerve to say go back to whoever you've been sleeping around with because I don't want you anymore. She came back with some lame talk but I think she got the point. A man has to think about whether he is being used or not.
Taking accountability is kryptonite for many. Yours was on the extreme side, but it tends to be hardwired in feminists to deflect any self awareness.
I think I heard most of the lines back in my early 20s. The "real men..." line can really sting deep in our insecurities, masculinity and pride. It definitely made me question myself as a young and impressionable 20-something guy no matter how confident and arrogant I acted. Suffice to say those relationships with girls who used that line never lasted long and they go through men like it's candy.
Story of my life. My wife lives by the 3rd example you gave and constantly reiterates how "emotional" she is, a BS excuse to lash out at people and expecting zero consequences. We have a kid together, I'm sticking around for his sake. As soon as he's old enough... I'm out.
I wouldn't do that. Speaking as a kid who's dad left in middle school. Yes it was hard, but I got to eventually see both parents happy and as long as both parents are still in the childs life.
As both the son of divorced parents and a divorced only parent myself, DO NOT STAY FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN. This is the biggest, most destructive lie that we tell ourselves. When you are in an miserable marriage, your kids will see it, and they will be asking themselves and you questions. Mommy and daddy are yelling late at night, mom and dad don't talk or show affection to each other, why aren't mom and dad ever happy with each other. All you will do is set a dangerous and destructive example to your kid as to what a relationship looks like. Also they he may start blaming himself for the cause your problems because there are going to be arguments and fights with your wife over the kid. Get a lawyer and get a divorce. The real question that you are going to have to ask yourself is who do you want to have primary custody? I would also look for a personal therapist to talk too while you are going through this because it will not be easy but your kid will be better off especially if you and hopefully her are able to find happy, health relationships.
@Jonasz314 - Troy May above is on target ! Kids can pick up relational issues ... if you are daily walking on "emotional eggshells" ... now is the time to get out.
I subscribed the moment you talked about astrology. I agree with it all.
5 Things Are Woman Say That Are Major Red Flags;🚨🚩
1. A Real Man Would......
2. IF You Really Liked Me,You Would.....
3. If You Can't Handle Me At My Worst,You Don't Deserve Me At My Best.
4. She Gives Ultimatums.
5. This Is Just How I Am...Deal With It!
6. Anything Astrology Related.
Blissful Weekend Kings&Queens🌷
Oh lord, I guess I gotta date dudes now cause girls are always astrological
@@NarutoUzumaki-hj2hb Not All Are...beside Not A Good Time to Date Dudes,As The 🐒 Are Out Now.
@@helenamuniz5269 hahaha true
@@NarutoUzumaki-hj2hb Be Patient,Things Might Fall In Place When you least Expect
You have put yourself under men's shoes and thought about all these scenarios.
Thanks a lot Courtney 🙏.
You are an angel.
"It is better to be alone than in a bad company"
The fact that she is done that yes she is right cuz she has put herself in their shoes. The real problem is these other women don't and we all know the Golden rule treat me like you wanted to be treated. These women think they're so damn special that they should get everything they want I'm not compromised to make their men happy so they lose.
All the points you made we’re exceptionally accurate and poignant. The one that really stood out to me which I resonated with the most was “that’s just who I am..”🤮 I’ve had first-hand experience of that and I locked off the entire situation immediately. That is one of the most toxic and damaging mentalities a woman can hold, so ugly, super happy you touched on that.👏🏾👏🏾
After dating numerous women I totally understand and agree what you say !!! I'm beginning to think that is it really worth being in a relationship, are we really better of alone in this day and age ? I've given my all ! And most women wanting to be a queen is tyring not to say the least ! Are most people damaged now days ? It's difficult to commit with the baggage people carry ! It always commences with good intentions. I would so truly love to be with a woman who understands her true nature. But alas, 63 yrs old and never met that woman. So be it. I'm lucky to like my own company. Although I would love to share my experiences and adventures in life with an honest woman. Love to all, and all to love 🙌💛🙌
Thank you for helping us staying away from those toxic women out there
Great video Courtney - and very informative!
Several years ago I had a female cub mate at work, and we were pretty close, although she could be manipulative. One day, she asked me to intervene on her behalf in an area that was none of my business. She told me me, "if you really liked me you would do this for me." I responded, "if you really liked me you would give me sex whenever I wanted." She replied, "I deserved that." She never tried that again on me!
Very well said Courtney! ALL of these examples are a clear indication of the state of mind and attitude of the current generation of "most" (not all) women's psyche. Our society, popular culture and social media ALL proliferate this type of attitude amongst women. Why did women start being so entitled and obnoxious? Why did women start being so mean and edgy? And while we are here, let's talk about the prevalence of "potty mouth" amongst women today. The level of vulgarity and rampant abuse of the "F" word have become so commonplace that no one seems to even notice that it has become part of their vernacular. My how we have regressed as a society.
Yes, we now have multiple generations of masculinized women and feminized men thanks to modern progressivism 🙄
I couldn't agree more. Working at a university, I couldn't understand how BOTH genders thought speaking with such course and undignified language was a "good thing" I often wondered if some of them really knew WHAT certain words really meant. The definition to the language.... As much IS degrading and unrefined. 🙁 In fact, once I did ask, the poor individual did not know, when I explained..... Needless to say, this person was shocked (a very young person) . But as to most? I still wonder if they understand, I mean really understand. 🤷
Women who tell you "No one will love you if you don't love yourself". It's already hard enough for us guys because sharing feelings is seen as a weakness to most. With guys like me with chronic depression that makes it a ton worse. This saying implies that if you doubt yourself at all in any way no woman will ever like/love you. I understand a lack of confidence isn't attractive. But saying that shows she's both judgemental and clearly doesn't care for you. Big red flag.
Love yourself ... don't care for any woman's opinion about you and they have no way but to love you ... women are needy and unfortunately most men these days are simps ... being depressed is not a character flaw ... love yourself and succeed in your life and your perspective will change ... a man has to be the leader of the relationship and if you don't love yourself, you can't lead
Bruh she right
I have shot more big game, and stuck it in the freezer, been in more fist fights than I can recall and worked my ass off. If a woman can't take me getting tearing eyed watching a movie......to hell with 'em. Bye.
"because sharing feelings is seen as a weakness to most" and the fact that people, both men and ESPECIALLY women in my experience, are subconsciously trained to view men as less of a victim in society, the sayings "women and children first" and "but its different for a girl" exist for a reason.
@@flamingmanure Interesting comment. Can't disagree.
A million thumbs ups... I love it when women talk clearly at the same time they tell truth. Thank you very much Courtney. You re a star.
Girl ive dating for 2 months told me “In the past men have spoiled me and you dont do enough for me. You dont spend enough on me.” This was said after I paid for all the dates and I flew across the country to see her after she went back home. Any thoughts?
Yes, leave her. She apparently does not appreciate the fact of traveling the long distance to see her and paying for the Daye! I am a woman, please let her go. A good woman would so appreciate your kind gestures!
Dump her ASAP
Walk.
Gold digger
Don’t walk, run!
My two cents: If she says she's always right even when she's not. That's a big no. That just shows heavy narcissism and believe me. It is so exhausting to deal with someone that can't ever fathom being in the wrong...
I was beginning to think that the third one you'd mention is "I'm a feminist". That's something I don't really mind, but that just depends on how far she takes it. I don't like the ones who blame men for everything wrong in the world, or think women ought to be in control of everything that is everything.
It's usually code for "I have a cluster B personality disorder"
I’ve gotta do a part 3 now 😂😂😂
@Joe Here's why feminism is a red flag: There's a term for equality between the sexes: Egalitarianism. To define 'equality' based upon what women define and want is actually a form of psychosis like a child who thinks the world revolves around them and that is what is "right". Even at its best, a feminist who says that women started the movement to perhaps be treated more equally is now moot since women have all the legal rights that matter (and then some) so a "nice feminist" who still uses the term is not out for men's rights (even if that's what she's mostly talking about) but rather a feminist apologist (looking to campaign for the rights of other groups to lend her own feminine special rights agenda some credibility). More on this regarding Courtney.
Well femininity and feminism are not the same thing so you need to change that brushing off of the shoulders mentality there because femininity is what Courtney is about, and feminism is not about equality it is about dominance so any girl that claims to be a feminist and that doesn't know the difference, like how Courtney knows the difference, will want you to become her slave and you shouldn't want that for yourself. If you try to help her distinguish and she quits calling herself a feminist, then that's great and I would certainly reward her but if she doesn't see the difference and she doesn't care to quit saying it, I would leave because things will inevitably turn sour because those women do not understand the beauty of femininity they do not value and respect the sanctity of masculinity
It depends. Before wokeism became a thing I worked with a very politically conservative young woman who told me she was a "feminist" but she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom; to her "feminist" was just shorthand for having three kids one after the other, staying at home until the youngest started grade school, and then returning to a career. That's not even feminism to me - my mom worked my entire childhood - but it was feminism to her because her mom was a stay-at-home mom. So I would put it more in the category of, "it's a red flag if she is repeatedly making a big deal out of it" category. I mean, I assume most militant feminists will hang themselves with their own rope on that topic anyway if you just let them talk. If a girl just uses the word once casually and moves on I'm not sure I'd write her off just for that.
Thank you for calling out that these as red flags to hear from guys as well. These are worrisome to hear from a partner, but we need to check ourselves to ensure we aren't being manipulative either.
The astrology thing is so true!!! 🔥 It's so unfair to judge somebody before you know them at least one bit!
And I know what it is, I was judged many times because of my autism, and high functioning depression. I know they have their cliché behaviors with them, but I know that I can be a dementor, and that I can be toxic with suceptibility or negativity when it overwhelms me.
Every person is different, astrology might be helpful to direct you toward somebody you like, but never close the door completely, because in the end the probability of finding the ideal person 99% is very, very low, and accepting non red flag or minor imperfections is a key in a couple.
"She had shouted the word "divorce" at him numerous times, even threatened him with it. But now, she began crying, begging him. No, it was not over, she did not want to be separated, it had not been spoilt, and he realized that this was his wife. He had married her, he had taken her on as his life's main project, and now, almost for the first time, she was asking him for something she really wanted and needed, and that he could give." from my soon to be published novel on this topic. Thanks for your great video.
lots of good solid coaching / advice. I've been married for 35 years - and still learning :)
Are you both learning or just you ? Because it's sounding like she is teaching you in her ways 🙂
The second one comes as the following list as well.
If you really loved me...
If you cared about me...
If I mattered at all to you...
If I was important...
I'm sure there's other variations, but these are the ones I have heard. Oh and because my father is a drug addict and played guilt trips and mind games, these usually had the opposite effect. It's not how you get what you want from me.
Yessir! This one hits Lol
My wife and I were going to marriage counseling at her suggestion. I was pretty sure she was having an affair. as the counseling sessions were winding down I asked the counselor " How should we deal with an issue if we can't resolve it? ". The answr I was expecting was more counseling ( more free money for them ) The answer I got as " Is the issue worth walking away from the marriage" Perfect answer!! Also gave my wife a free pass to do whatever she wanted. In the end she tried to manipulate me by threatening self deletion.
Hoping she’s your ex-wife now?
Why is it always the "suicide " thing?
@@randym.hernandez1408 They threaten suicide so they can make u feel guilty (as if u are the only reason they are living). Whether or not they are serious (and im sure they aren't), it's not worth staying with someone who will only cause u misery
Self deletion? I have never heard that put quite that way, I like your use of the terminology!
Thank you very much! I'm divorced and I've gone through a couple of these red flags. And I'm sorry to say I didn't notice them in proper time.
Good stuff. Especially that fifth tip. But also that astrology one. So many of us don't even know what signs mean...
It has become like a meme thing, but I can not emphasize enough how important is to identify the red flags. Loooove your content!!!
Penny: I'm a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know.
Sheldon: Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
😂spot on!👌
Perhaps it does. This has been studied for thousands of years.
You can also look up the Sagittarius personalty type, she thinks she is that type. Is she deluded or perhaps this actually gives you her personality type?
Don't assume that by calling yourself rational that you are actually being rational in dismissing Astrology. I don't expect you've looked into it enough to actually know because you believe you're too smart to bother.
Mind you if she is into Astrology she probably does not care much for the dogmatic zero personal research science you believe in. Probably not a good match.
@@wayland7150 It's been studied dozens of times with tens of thousands of participants in scientific studied in peer-reviewed journals in the last 50 years. It is complete nonsense. No more predictable than a coin flip. Pls just stop.
@@SkillzKillzBR Yeah, about as ridiculous as thinking plant growth could be affected by the earth's orbital location around the sun.
@@drewodessa2483 are humans plants tho? Yeah I thought so. Also if this whole horoscope thing was so true, why don’t our fellow animals born throughout the year have the same personality traits as those around the same day or month?
Yeah the accountability thing has been an issue. Told a girl recently she lost some respect from me after bailing on me on coffee dates twice. She said I’m sorry you feel that way, but I gotta do what I gotta do. Then the next time I saw her about a month later was avoiding me like the plague.
You may have "dodged a bullet" there Jonathan.
@@dancahill8199 Oh I most heartedly agree.
You should have stood her up aswell.
@@mikedoyle7300 there wasn't a chance too do that. She kept talking about how busy she was, yet had time to go out of the state twice and then out of the country for a month. Hence why when she said she didn't have time to date over text, I told her face to face she lost respect from me.
It's a dud, I can tell you right now...she's not interested
Man, resonated hard 5 years later after my relationship with a person like this! So many ultomatoes i had put up with. It really messed with my head and has still left me feeling confused for future relationships. I wonder if this type of women ever lose these traits?
Protect this one at all costs. She's a national treasure assisting in keeping relationships strong in the U.S.A 🇺🇲
Also calling you insecure for expressing real issues in the relationship is a good one, I've seen plenty of relationships like this once, have even been in one, where the guy expresses he didn't feel comfortable with her having male friends who were clearly into her, and in turn she says he's being insecure and not trusting her enough as well as saying the usual "you're being controlling" type of thing, when in reality she's just giving the guy more reasons to doubt her, not understanding that trust is earned not given, and once the relationship eventually ends she's with one of her male friends a week later, if not way before that when she was in the previous relationship. I really think that if you want to be in serious relationship you have to give reasons for the other person to trust you, and not expect them to blindly trust everything that you do, and it's actually very disrespectful to completely disregard something your partner feels uncomfortable about simply because you like the attention.
Mmm how does she earn trust if she can't have the friends? Trust is earned sure, but you're not giving her the chance. Yes it is controlling to say no male friends. 100%
@@walexander8378 "Male friends who were clearly into her" Oh, i'm fine with her having friends, just not the kind that hit on her constantly while she already has someone, allowing that behavior from guys close to her even though they know she's already in a relationship comes off as disrespectful, both from her part and theirs.
@@walexander8378 no Is not controlling. Is just respecting the relationships. If you wanna have male or female friends, be single. Your mom I bet doesn't have male friends.
Life is about making adjustments. To not adjust is like driving a car without touching the steering wheel: you're not driving it.
If both partners are making adjustments, the relationship will go a long way.
A detail to take into account is that some women do so to men who are 100% committed to the relationship. Those women know those men try to work it out, but they take advantage of it by making men feel insecure about "their love" to them. The expression ; "You don't care about me enough" is such a trigger to make some men feel badly about their commitment to women.
Right on, Courtney and great advice as usual. As a guy, I realize I cannot make a woman, or anyone for that matter be held accountable. I CAN and DO walk away when they refuse to behave well, lie, cheat, and are too domineering to me. Accountability is is like kryptonite to most women. NGL 100% true. I hate it when ppl (not just women) say "That's just how I am...!!" Very toxic and narcissistic. I live in CA and lots of these women out here are mean, picky, and shallow. And stuck up! Again, not all are like this but most, esp. close to SF/Bay Area, LA, and San Diego. At least SoCal has better looking women, I will give them that. Oh and the astrology one: if she says signs or talks about "the universe" when dating, HUGE red flag. It means later on, if the universe tells her to be with diff. guy, she'll go with it. Again, no accountable behavior.
It took me awhile and few lady friends to figure this out. I dumped my last girlfriend because of these signs you listed. Soon afterward I met my wife, she has never expressed any negative feelings about my persona. My wife adores me and I adore her.
Thanks for the vid Courtney! I have been mentioning the astrology red flag for a long time now, and it's funny because that bs seems so far out there yet I have met several girls who believe in this more than their ability to actually communicate with someone... honestly saddening, but really glad you mentioned this. Never date an astrology liar!
The bottom-line is: Yeah girl, I really like you because I'm dating you. But a girl who REALLY liked me back wouldn't try and make me violate my boundaries for her.
I dated this woman when I was younger that always wanted to go to the high end establishments. I have beer taste and she was of the champagne crowd. Anyway, we had a date to do The Top Of the Town. Last minute thing, I got called to go to the next city over, but I told her I would pick her up but might be a few minutes late. Got to her office building at about 5:05 pm and she was walking out the front door. I was 5 minutes late and she told me, “Im on my way home since you were late!” There had been several’red flags’, but this was the end. She thought we were going to get married and I was thinking, “NO WAY.”
It wasn’t really violating my boundaries as much as accepting who I am.
A favorite story...a friend of mine started out being interested in a girl he worked with. She said "all men want just one thing." Over several days he tried to explain to her that it isnt true. She wouldnt let go, later saying she needed a man to keep her secure, but she agreed to go out with him after a few weeks. He took her to a place extremely romantic, and had picnic dinner (Asian food takeout, bottle of wine, etc.) At the end of the date he took her home, and walked her to her door. She invited him in. He got this smirk on his face, and said "If you think that men only want one thing, then you must want one thing from men, and your willing to do what men want to get it. I don't have sex with prostitutes." He then left. She never came back to work while he was there. He calls it his "Hate Date."
Or... She just wanted to talk more, flirt more and, maybe even make-out. There is no guarantee she wanted him to come inside to have sex... Your friend doesn't sound like a nice person.
@@333angeleyes he's far more nice than what this lady deserved. Karma hit her for that remark. Good on the guy for dodging this bullet.
Wow...your friend sounds like an asshole.
While I Don’t have all the facts, maybe that was her intent, maybe it wasn’t, but he jumped the gun a bit don’t you think? Instead of seeking to understand her intent, he just impulsively called her a prostitute because she invited him in? I’d be slightly traumatized if I were her and sex wasn’t my intent, and yeah I probably wouldn’t show up for work either because I’d want to duke it out with that asshole. Shows a lot about how he thinks of women, and that’s not a friend I would ever have. Especially with the prostitution comment, I’m sitting here thinking, what the fuck? I think SHE dodged a bullet with him. I mean, I can understand why 2 people who have already known each other for quite some time (i.e. coworkers) would hang out at each other’s place on the first date, because There’s more than likely already been a certain level of trust and rapport established at work. I would do the same thing if I were in her shoes, and I wouldn’t think any less if my male coworker I was on my First date with would invite me to his place either. Again, trust is already the baseline for coworkers. Maybe I want to show him my sick collection of (insert object here) or chat, get to know each other and make out since we’re in private? Sex most definitely wouldn’t be happening. Many people can actually control their impulses and don’t behave like wild animals when in the homestead of someone they’re attracted to, who they’ve known for a while. A lot of the time it IS just making out. HOWEVER, If it’s 2 strangers on their first date however, that’s completely different, and I think your friend may have gotten that majorly confused. In that case, an invitation to the other’s place is thereby a direct motivation for a one night stand that more than likely would not develop into anything more meaningful.
@@333angeleyes or maybe the OP is only telling you the relevant parts of the story instead of making the comment a 50 shades of Grey chapter.
If you haven't got anything good to say, ask yourself why you're online.
Peace
That's a power move if I've ever heard one. Beautiful comeback. That guy deserves a pat on the back.
Hi Courtney, that Astrology point was interesting. While I've never had astrology get between a woman and I, it seems like EVERY woman I meet is into either tarot cards or crystals. As a result, I've kind of had to accept it if I was to ever talk to another woman.
Your Red Flag videos in general have helped me realise I wasn't as crazy as I thought I was by deeming certain behaviours as Red Flags. Thank you.
Thank you. You verified my 20 yr failed marriage. I’m validated on how I’ve already been knowing. 😌
The first point you mentioned was the favourite of my ex wife, and her sister. They would say it whenever I'd tell them anything they had asked of me was unrealistic, and/or dangerous to do long term.
Wow! It’s hard enough to work a relationship with one person, but for all practical purposes, it sounds like you were married to both of them. When I was in HS, I dated a girl and her mother was so involved that it was as if I had this dual relationship. All my buddies felt sorry for me.
astrology is the new way modern women avoid accountability.
im a Capricorn this is how we act
Great video, direct and to the point. If only I could flesh out some of these things very early on into a relationship I would have saved myself from a lot of emotional torment lol.
My ex took me to "healers" to "fix me", when I'm perfectly fine the way I am. I was told "it was my astrological year for immense change", bla bla bla, and naive me bought into it all. Putting her on pedestal cost me dearly on one hand, but removed huge naivety in me, on the other.
You are so right!! No person should feel like their significant other thinks or would think less of them because of some manipulative reason. If your S.O. says something along these lines to you, they don't love you and are more interested in the "take" than the "give" of the relationship. I'd feel sorry for that person, because their parents or education system failed them. They missed a few crucial lessons in loving others. It's not difficult to be considerate of others, especially those you care about. Love unconditionally and expect nothing in return and you won't be disappointed.
Happy Friday, Courtney 💘! Actions speak louder than words 🎯
We need to protect this woman✍️🏾✍️🏾
Ask her the following question: "What is a woman?" If she gives you some feminist or wokeist crap run away. She is not the kind of woman you want as a wife and raising your children.
that was a great statement, lol and people are scared of the documentary
i think it can also work for guys too, ask them what a woman is
@@SavannaXO I agree
@@SavannaXO typically you can tell a leftist dude right away, just listen to the soy in their voice. No need to ask that question.
Thank you so much for the astrology tip. It's always been a huge red flag for me.
4:15 To this day, I still remember one girl from college who posted that quote on social media about 10 years ago (one of many girls who did so). She was pretty hot, and is now fine for her age. I remember actually thinking to this day "Do they really think this is somehow good? Bragging about your flaws online and, on top of that, implying that you're not going to correct them and that a man should be willing to deal with? Do they not realize that this repels men?".
She is 31 now, living in a studio apt., and the only male in her life seems to be her pug.
Well is everyone willing to change because someone said "you need to change"? Tbh it happens natural lt, people change. And even if someone says this phrase (or posted it on social media lol dont get me wrong but it s just a facade we dont know what she really is), it doesn t mean they ll never change, it s more like a defensive act and also, it dépends on the context
I recently met a girl that seemed so into me.
Played the cute innocent girl whit "baggage"
She did wave a red flag ot four though.
"I used to have a crazy side to me, but I moved away from that environment so.. I'm cured." 😅
"I GOT to have my way"
"I need a least 3 compliments each day"
"I hit people"
You get the idea.
Still I met up whit her. At her place. But the red flags just got bigger and brighter.
Now she is acting like a Bad B whit an attitude. As I suspected she was.
Don't forget this one . "I'm strong and independent" . This usually comes from masculine,non-agreeable, rude women
Yeah I laugh at that one a lot because there is no true independence, your parents can help you become an adult but women are rarely strong mentally physically and emotionally which is why I always laugh
I disagree because I know a lot of good women who say they're strong and independent.
What is wrong with strong independent women? Maybe that reflects your own insecurity, lol.
@@LatimusChadimus You probably don't meet many women then. Or gravitate towards weak ones so they don't threaten your own insecurities.
I get repelled by them
Not ashamed to admit.
Girl- "I'm a scorpio"
Guy- "I'm a dinosaur"
Girl- "That's not real"
Guy- "None of them are real"
Ok atheist
@@ottomanpapyrus9365 ok bot. Or Russian troll. Same thing.
LOL....I was called a dinosaur because i don't do texts, twitter, facebook, etc......
Dinosaurs WERE real tho... At some point
Not only were dinosaurs real, but they STILL ARE, we just call them birds now.
Just closed the video and immediately returned to set like for this video!
Very useful information, thank you!
I’m a psychology major and what you say is pretty good. But just to add some stuff to what you just said, there are pros and cons to each behavior. For one is the ultimatum. Yes it’s not good to do the ultimatum because it does not give your partner to do any healthy choices without being manipulative. But an ultimatum can also be a good thing as well if you’re trying to get a positive behavior or gain self-worth then it is OK.
Also, you mentioned about high standards. This goes for both men and women, it is really good that some partners have some high expectations. You have your realistic, an unrealistic beliefs. Keeping your expectations low and your standards high is the ultimate plan for success.
You did a good job in your video, I can comment on each of your statements, and elaborate more in a psychological level, but that would make me write a thesis paper on your topic. Keep up the good work.
Candace Owens has a video that basically said, men have 3 reasons to make a second date, women have 300 REASONS to Not go on a second date. Let that sink in.
Women don't need a reason, all she needs is a vague "feeling" for the situation. Rejection is often God's protection from such people.
I can't believe there are guys who allow that to happen. I understand some people are lonely and some to the point of desperate. Every time a woman brings that, " a real man would" crap. My response is always, "you want a five thousand dollar purse then get off your ass and get a job". Lol!!! I went above and beyond ONE time. That was the LAST time.
I tend to look at the astrology thing as being about how seriously someone takes it and how it plugs into their life. For some, it's an affectation -- a fun game -- and they treat it as such. That is harmless.
For others... well, there is a reason why (as a 50 year old man), I have learned to avoid middle-aged wicca ladies. That whole cluster of affectations hides a thick layer of bitterness and misandry. And often anti-vaxxing too. Almost without exception.
Stuff like that is really more suggestive of a larger basket of potential problems than actually being the problem. There are many, many examples.
I noticed the last red flag you mentioned in this video on my ex. She was hot-headed and was exploding at the slightest thing. I wasn't allowed to oppose to her on any subject. The thing is that she told me "I am hot-headed and I know it. That's just what I am." That made me upset on the long term until I said "No, I don't deserve to put up with this! I don't owe you anything!", and I ended the relationship. I still fell relieved to this day that I am done with her. We haven't heard from each other ever since.
Courtney, I'm so glad you mentioned the astrology thing. That's an instant disqualifier for me and has been for a while.
I once asked a girlfriend of mine why women are manipulative. I can't forget her answer till today. She said, "YES we're manipulative because it's still a man's world and not ours. We've to work our way around you guys...." Till today I find myself agreeing with what she said. Okay - BTW I take Courtney's tips seriously. Coming from the mouth of a beautiful woman, I better pay attention to what she's saying. Yeppa!
you my friend, were dealing with a misandrist that sees men as less of a human and more of a collective, especially with her nasty "you guys" comment lol, she even included you, thats a pretty generalizing and manipulative stance to take in life, so explain step by step how being in "a mans" world allows her to be manipulative towards men? actually no, someone like her is probably manipulative regardless of gender and probably never had a good male role model in life, its how sexism and misandry starts imo, so lets start critiquing her statement.
"We've to work our way around you guys" more proof that shes a closet misandrist that thinks less of men deep down, men arent a collective that owns the world together lol, there are literally trillions of dynamics in her thoughtless statement, she also assumes women are a collective, which is laughably false, normal women in 1st world countries dont have to work around men, SHE does though it seems, and how does she specifically work around men exactly? and does she think men dont have to work around other men in most aspects of life? silly statement really, how old was she?
if you live in a 1st world country, then it isnt a mans world, so even with her generalizing claim, it doesnt really apply, and even if it does, how does that give her the right to be manipulative exactly? the world isnt fair to many MANY ppl, including men, although many ppl today subconsciously deny that, but looking at statistics, men are the majority victim to far more crimes and bad situations that arent sexual based compared to women. drug addiction, suicide, physical abuse, homelessness, poverty rates, workplace hazards and accidents, muggings, stabbings, shootings, murder, theft even mental illness like Alzheimers and clinical depression for some reason(imo it has something to do with mens emotional neglect on themselves and societys hate towards victimizing men) i mean sure, technically its a mans world, but if your GF thought men worked together to build it, reality laughs at her face lol, it seems like shes just making misandrist excuses to treat men however she wants, like alot of women that say her statement nowadays. atleast now i know
"BTW I take Courtney's tips seriously" how about asking Courtney what she thinks of what your gf is saying? pretty sure she wont agree.
She's not wrong, everything was built by men so you could say it is a man's world, but a huge part of it is built for women and families, and nowadays men seldom have a real voice or presence.
The way she was framing it like women have to manipulate men because of a victim mentality is hilarious. They themselves tend choose to manipulate that certain type of men, and that's their choice. They have thousands or millions of choices, and the thing about having too many choices is you tend to have a lot of doubts and regrets and can never be happy.
The beauty does not matter. It's the wisdom leaving her mouth.
@@Goblin_Hands Point.😀
I think more guys need to start doing the “if a girl says this on a first date, RUN!” thing literally.
Hi, Kate, nice to meet you.
(Looks you up and down) “Khakis? Really???”
*turns around and sprints full speed in the opposite direction*
The astrology one and “that’s just the way I am” go hand in hand. I avoid people like that, guys and girls.
Having a sign define who you are as a person is so odd and an excuse to not grow and become a better person.
I am surprised how this kind of girls able to get decent men while really nice girls who never say these crazy things get trapped with abusive guys. Live and learn) Thanks a lot for sharing and teaching us
I really like your channel, gives me a good insight to see what women like and want from a woman, rather than a straight talk from a guy. Plus, (not hitting on you) you have the kindest and sweetest voice that make a guy want to watch your channel. Some of your videos I would need to watch again and again.
Getting back to the Astrology and Zodiac stuff, I’ve been watching some videos on it and doing my research, because after my relationship of 5 and a half years ended, I was watching a video about the sign that my now ex girlfriend is and it told me a lot. I just dove into my relationship without knowing anything like that.