I see a lot of comments saying that narcissists enjoy hurting other people and this and that. As one who is working on not being one, I can confidently say I do not enjoy hurting people. It was really just me being ignorant to the world around me. I never noticed if I was being an asshole or not because I was so focused on myself and why I felt so down all the time. Looking outward instead of inward is really helping me recently. I also keep repeating to myself "I'm not special" whenever something slightly inconvenient happens and I start to get angry. All I can do is try to be a better person from here on and hope that I can one day repay those who I've hurt. I wish I could've come across videos like these 8 years ago.
A solution is to not think about yourself all the time. More think about society in general and how it can be improved. Be aware about the problems around you. Get away from Influencers that pushes this narcissistic Lifestyle.
I’m also diagnosed NPD, it’s hard to explain to people that it’s not that I intentionally did the bad things I did or continue to have the “bad thoughts” it’s as natural and seems as normal to me as breathing. I didn’t know I was being abusive and I didn’t know my behavior was harming people. Now after almost 10 years of treatment I know these things but they are still there, the thoughts and beliefs never go away and I have to hold myself accountable more often then not. It’s not even about not focusing on myself it’s focusing myself onto something better, like if I’m gonna be grandiose no matter what I might as well use that confidante and power for beneficial things. Like being honest and kind are hard things, even people who aren’t narcs have issues with doing it, so I’ve just convinced myself that because I’m typically better/smarter/more capable than there is no reason why I shouldn’t be the most kind honest person there is. And it’s like a mind warp to try to get the delusions, since they never leave, to almost accommodate for themselves. If I gotta be great at everything I do or else I fall into a panicked episode of feeling out of control, then I’ll be great at being a good sibling, and I’ll be great at telling the truth, or I’ll be great at going to my treatments and learning the most I can from them. It’s a weird place to be in when I try to describe it because some would say my intentions still are “bad” but my friends and family understand that my normal isn’t the same as theirs and accept it even if they don’t understand completely. There is a healthy life in personality disorders even if the symptoms never go away
I suspect not thinking about yourself all the time is not so much the solution as the challenge here. Not everyone can choose where their minds goes in all circumstances
@@flowerfabuki4783 Narcissist never admits their wrong doing, if u want to learn yourself start documentating all your message and conversation with your love ones if u are true human Prove to the world the fact that you are not HURTING. (Lifetime - Recorded) My NEX wont dare to contradict the fact that i gathered during our marriage. So time to start for u!
I heard narcissist are mentally stuck at the age they get traumatized at, I’m a narcissist and I want to mature and improve I just don’t know what do anymore
It might even be you having to surrender, face what your running from it could be deeply spiritual. So I don't know your faith or if you have belief in something higher.
@@grimesgrindelwald6100 I am running away from infinite pain, anger , shame and overwhelming helplessness. I feel i would disintegrate or just die if i feel my burried feelings consciously.
Same! It’s creepy to know that my feelings for my own family is most likely fake because “we don’t have empathy”. Whole time I can cry and physically feel my heart sink when someone or pet is mistreated, but that really isn’t empathy. All in all, I know I need to change though because it’s damaging to my family.
It is wonderful to see someone that genuinely cares for the person with narcissistic traits. My wife committed today that she will get evaluated because our marriage is literally falling apart. I have read multiple books and watched hundreds of hours of videos and this video is probably the only one I would be willing to show my wife that I don't believe would push her away because it focuses on what the person is suffering with in a compassionate way. I hope my wife follows through with the evaluation and treatment because we have been married for 22 years and even though she is not diagnosed, the patterns of the behavior have overwhelmingly blossomed and to destructive patterns. I hate how my identity has literally been erased with how she sees me, but I hear someone inside crying out and hopefully, and God willing, this is the first step to healing in a healthy way.
im going through the same with my partner. I'm educating myself so I can help him better. We are still young and I refuse to let this go on. He is hurting himself in this process. I've gone through a lot of trauma in my life to the point of this not really affecting me all that much other than wanting him to be OKEY. I knew he was a narcissist almost from the get go and knew we would get to this at some point. We are a very introspective couple. We talk about everything and anything and it was bound to happen. He didn't know he was a narcissist so we are trying to face this now together.
A person with NPD is like a drowning victim- If you try to swim over to save them, be very careful because they will grab you and pull you down with them and you’ll both drown- Orrr the rescuer will get extremely battered and scratched trying to save them. I’m not saying let them drown.. I’m saying throw them a life preserver or something and protect yourself.
This is so true! I even read about civil people being SUIED after saving someone's life (drowning, burning car etc), because the person being saved felt their life wasn't saved in a proper manner by this civil, who risked their own health and even life trying to help. Some of them actually won the case in court, due to corruption. Not kidding, some people are just teffiryingly selfish. There's a massive difference between healthy selfcare and toxic selfishness.
That rescuer/victim mentality is keeping you in the vicious cycle of idealization/devaluation. Stop the abuse cycle, black & white thinking. There is a grey area...everyone is not either victim or abuser. That is your brain lying to you, don't be deluded/believe your own lies. Rescue yourself first.. meaning, don't be a hypocrite & scapegoater. That is...if you even care about anyone else other than as an extension for supply(stuff)...As well as your self preservation mentality being top priority before your loved ones own well being...SMFH
@@lumijasminasmr3583 These people are dangerous & can be lethal. They will systematically cognitively disassemble your life, your world, your health, your mind...and if they leave you to die you may be lucky...because they ARE capable of taking your life....without concern..& then there are the ones who will talk you into taking your own.
I think there's hope with anyone who is willing to change. I think with inverted narcs like me can be treated from it, because it's like an addiction for us and change our ways to healthy functional ways. And ofc.. it's because i want to be healthy and healed.
Dear eternal soul, please read my comments below, some are hidden under the reply button. I know they would help you sort things out in your mind. God bless you!!!
Had a relationship with a grandiose narcissist who artfully will transition into a covered one when necessary, she was always in control of how to restore her "balances" This one will never be healed. The Gold ones are a menacing treat and in my view fascinating at it. If there is no empathy there is no hope and hope at the end is just wishful thinking.
You are being to generous when you say a lot, the truth is the majority of them believe that but they have the audacity to call themselves therapist. What kind of therapist can you be when you tell a person that there is no hope for them.
A friend who studies psychology recently said to me "A lot of people don't want to let go of their trauma because it makes them special." This is obviously especially true for covert narcissists, but I think it is true for MANY people and important for everyone to reflect on...
We've all been through Some childhood trauma, but that doesn't mean we're narcissistic, or psychopaths... I've been through my own, but I Don't play victim, or Manipulate people. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄. Quit feeling sorry for these creeps. That's part of their Game. 🙄🙄🙄
@@elizabethbowie9753 People can show narcistic traits and not be narcissists, It shows more about you in your comment to call people with mental trauma "creeps"
@@conkadonk4976 There are so many comments like this everywhere and it makes me wonder how many people are completely oblivious of their persona... "I'm not a narcissist" and then proceeds to hate on a category (possibly ill) of people. Like wth?
I've just realised I have many of the symptoms of narcissism. I can't actually believe it...I really want to get this fixed because I am very unhappy with my life deep down.
I always thought myself I was sensible and emotional and very empathic but the last days I reflected what I did and what I said in front of other people and realized that I did everything for my self-image. I told good friends of mine that they shouldn‘t do certain things and instead should do this or they should buy this. I don‘t know if I am a real narcissist or if I only have some traits of a narcissist. I only know that I will start therapy because I know that something isn’t right the way I am. My deepest wish is that I can someday give my family and friends something back for everything they did for me. 😕
I doubt a Narc would even consider what you wrote here. Usually they go to therapy because they are depressed not because they see the errors of their ways.
I'm sometimes worried that I myself might be a covert narcissist and I'm glad to hear that there ARE successful cases of treatment. I get scared whenever I hear or read stuff that basically sounds as though narcissism seems to be an uncurable genetical neverchanging illness-thing that forces you to be an as***le for your entire life who has to be left forever alone.
Nothing forces you to be an a**ho#@. You are on the right track in recognizing there is something wrong. If you humble down and accept that you need fundamental change in your outlook and behavior, you will live a healthy life with good relationships. Cast out into the deep. You'll never regret it.
I'm a narcissist, I will be seeing someone to seek help soon. I'm just afraid there's no hope to change, afraid I won't like my psychologist. But I know that I'm just making excuses to convince myself to not go. So I'm not gonna listen to that part of me, the part that hurt others, I can see it coming out of their mouthes but I can't see it myself Edit: I have been seeing a therapist for a year, I was gaslighted to believe and almost off myself because of how guilty I felt. I felt so much guilt for things I didn't do
go for it don't lose hope u can do it...my girlfriend is a narc too.trying to get her see a pychologist no matter what happened i won't give up on her..
@@tracermadrona8721 I hope that doesn't hurt you like it hurt my ex boyfriend, and he's the purest person ever. Strong and always helped me. Now he's my biggest motivation to change even thou he doesn't want to be with me again. I just know he'll be happy to know that I'm working on it. He always faced me with truth and never insulted me. He just always faced me with ths harsh truth which would hurt me so much and I'd cry so much. He caused my narcissistic wound, he helped me see it. You sound like a good person. Stay strong and don't let it hurt you.
Not all psychologists know how to work with narcissists. Hopefully you'll find someone who knows how to help you in a right way! I'm glad you're made conscious of your disorder. I wish you'll be able to heal!
@@nataliapetrova4758 I have started seeing a psychologist for 3 months he confirmed I'm not one, but it's people around me, they are, and they convinced me somehow that it's my issue
You never was one. Your parents were. You changed because you got rid of simple narcissistic trauma your parents caused. But you never had full blow NPD. Full blown npd can't be cured fully.
I've learned a lot today, thank you. I am a covert narcissist, and I am currently going through a fractured period filled with guilt and shame as you noted. I found it super helpful how temporary treatment merely heals the fracture and the ego is restored. Now I know what I thought was genuine progress was a band-aid to a much deeper condition. I have no denial this is a critical issue and I'm willing to put in the work. I have estranged my toxic family, and have practiced meditation daily for several years. I have been told I've made progress. I am currently seeing a Therapist, and will do so for as long as it takes. Thank you.
@@tatianahawaii13 I am mostly filled with guilt. My excuse that I'm not physically abusive like my dad is a weak one. I can be manipulative and verbal. I just don't want to hurt anyone anymore. My therapist says recognizing narcissism and showing signs of empathy are both unheard of - but I feel there's more work ahead. I will look into shame and toxic shame, thank you.
Oh no, I'm a narc. I just thought I was anxious.. I'm anxious because I'm a narc. I run a business, it has been tough, my partner has pet my kitty at every step. Anytime something goes wrong at work I feel overwhelmed and anxious and whilst I handle it ok (usually, at work with the employees, I don't flip out in front of them, I take some time and respond in a more productive calculated manor) however, my partner catches my response in realtime and that response is soo over the top doom and gloom and I become very snappy towards her. This video explained a lot
Your work is genuinely world-changing, Dr Fox. The ways you talk about people who have bpd/npd traits, it's so focused on people getting better and of course not attaching stigma to the label... It is clear you do this out of care, and please know you are a fucking treasure and helping so so many people, including myself, with some things that are so difficult to discuss with others, due to the stigma. Everything I learn in your videos, I bring it in my life and I try to offer what I can to others, seriously. You are great!!!!
Thank you for giving people hope who want to heal. I do not have this disorder but I still appreciate your efforts. If we keep being stuck in the thinking that it is hopeless with these people anyway then maybe we rob them the choice of healing all together and well, who wants more deeply wounded people on this planet is an idiot and is not even thinking of himself either.
'We rejoice in the hope of the glory of God, not only that but we also rejoice in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverance... character... and hope...' The 'run as fast as you can' and 'no-contact' advice dished out obsessively do not provide real solutions to either victims or offenders... Yes, we need to learn about how to maintain healthy boundaries, yet we do not get stronger by running away and by isolating ourselves from that which can possibly hurt us.
@@maricamaas5555 These people don't believe in the power of God, believer's don't get too choose the battle we must fight all we can do is let God fight for us like he promise because it is not by might, nor by power but by my spirit says the Lord of host and if we be willing and obedient we will eat the fruit of the land.
@@laurieannJake NARCS LIE, CHEAT, STEAL, VERBALLY & EMOTIONALLY ABUSE PEOPLE. THEY DESTROY OTHERS AND HAVE NO EMPATHY. I CALL THAT A MONSTER. WE NEED TO.CUT THESE PEOPLE FROM OUR LIVES PERIOD.
I believe in louise hay, saying, there,s a cure to every ailments, physically, mentally,,,it's up to you to embrace it or reject it. the choice is in your hands,,.
I myself am struggling and the videos ive found about the danger of my condition for other people really exasperates it all i do is watch my step and only give never take i try so vary hard. All i can say brother is do your best to pretend like other people are you its worked for me so far fingers crossed
Who voted down? This man is the epitomy of personality disorder info. He is not wrong. ♥️♥️♥️ I'm so grateful for what he's done for me over the internet, for free... He's the best of the best.
The "thumbs down" button does NOT mean someone doesn't dislike the video. It is intended to indicate that you're not interested in the subject so that the algorithmn will know not to suggest content like this for that particular person. ...and yes, he certainly knows these disorders, but not everyone is interested in the same topics we are.
He is OK, but misses on a few things. I will vote thumbs up when he comes up with a better strategy than "restoring the ego" we are all spiritual beings and the egoic nature of narcissistic personality is what makes them destroy others. Letting go of ego and filling the void with real love, integrity and honesty is a better way imo.
@@bubbercakes528 I can see you're the type of person who genuinely struggles with anyone who doesn't share your opinion. ...and never have I been so "unique" and/or "special" to be the only one to ever have had a thought. lol Only a fool believes they're that unique.
I respect your dedication to help others. I've made the experience that a bpd male person with narcissistic traits is so stubborn to take help from outside even if they tend to damage relationships around themselves. Another issue is the ignorance and arrogance of Narcissists that lead them to believe that no Psychologist or Psychiatrist can help them. Even if they come to the point where they recognize something is wrong, they prefer to continue living in that self created hell instead of seeking help and being open to it. Another factor is also how and where you've been raised, certain cultures raise their "men" in a way that forbids them to accept help from outside. They believe that they just have to discipline themselves and that's it. Therefore you maybe have to have some emotional intelligence or being open for getting therapy to search that level, but sadly many never reach that level. And then we have plenty emotional/verbal abusers that believe that nothing is really wrong with them. Surely some relationships trigger them in some way, but it's their responsibility to take care of their demons. I hope your videos will help many mentally sick people, because surely they're helping me to understand these people more.
Hello, yes, psychiatrists and psychologists can not solve a problem that originated in the spiritual realm because spiritual problems can only be cured by spiritual solutions. God is the only one who they can turn to but not untill they know that they are lost.They were exposed at a young age to evil crippling influences that scarred their spirit, and soul.That is the horrible truth and untill they seek God they will be lost.Well meaning people who try to rescue them without spiritual guidance just perpetuate the problem. Evil spirits do perpetuate, multiply themselves.Please read my comments above for added perspective.There are a few. I try not to offend anyone but give truth where I am able.God bless all.
I'd also worry about them getting therapy, becoming self-aware, taking pride in the fact that they harm people and thinking narcissism and a lack of empathy is somehow superior from the "normies", and just using everything they've learnt to harm others and benefit themselves more efficiently.
In my own personal experience I have observed that it can be both for them, grandiose and vulnerable depending on time and circumstance. They warp seemingly fluidly btw both ‘types’ at times.
You're one of the few I've seen talk about practical ways to treat narcissism. Everyone in the psyc community I'veencountered or found through googeling seems to have this fear that they'll just teach them to be better liars or more manipulative if they even try. You're right, it's painfully hard to find anyone willing to do the treatment. One of the reasons is because they do bail on treatment. But really, I know a LOOOT of people who do genuinely have this disorder, and they hate it. They don't WANT victims to pick on and abuse. They don't WANT to manipulate people, and above all, they don't want to drive people away. It can feel so hopeless and powerless to feel like you're unable to get better and then when researching, see so many people referring to you as if you're some monster who everyone else should guard against and needs saving from. As we all know, with narcissism, such attitudes just make them more sensitive and defensive, which really is just throwing fuel onto an already out of control bonfire.
Wow. I feel like a proverbial mirror was propped up to my face in this video. Very painful, but hopefully, it can produce results and change in me. Thanks, Dr. Fox!
I was raised by a covert narc and have known a few others. The foundation for all the narcissistic behaviours seems to me is their incredible insecurity. Maybe addressing this fundamental aspect would help the most.
That's all about them, they lack empathy...they only care about their own feelings. How is that possible to change? They just feel ashamed of themselves, which is self centeredness. They won't be held accountable because they lack compassion & blame the real victims!
Toxic or malignant narcs, NPD's are not changeable no matter what the "experts" say. The stats show such low info because they only way to get it is if the narc is forced to treatment usually via courts. Even then they can do & will lie, manipulate charm, confuse, gaslight and otherwise BS the info. Only an incredibly astute discerning well trained professional can work around the theatre and cull the truth.
God says the devil takes them captive at his will. How can we reason a problem that originated in the spiritual realm, to begin with? Please read my comments at the top of this pge to James and others for added perspective on God's truths.
Brilliant video 💜 I pray for more research, patience and compassion from healthcare professionals. I know it won’t be easy but it will 100% be worthwhile.
My mother was a malignant narcissist. Of course this was projected onto me. Luckily, a Psych grad student friend, someone i trusted, informed me of my behavior to which I was unaware. That was 20 years ago and I have endeavored to become a better person to all those around me. My first step was to slow down, stop immediately judging what I hear, and try to feel and truly hear people from their perspective. Also helpful was diving into Stoic concepts and principles. I now lead a more loving and caring life. I am truly thankful for my friend who pointed out my huge blind spot. She really took a risk and invested her knowledge to our friendship. I understand that informing someone with NPD that they have NPD typically produces a negative outcome.
It's amazing how self-awareness can lead to such positive changes in our lives. Kudos to you for taking the necessary steps to become a better person and for embracing a more loving and caring life!
After a private consultion with Hg Tudor, I have a much better understanding. I totally recommend his TH-cam channel called: "Narcissism and Psychopathy with HG Tudor"
Glad I stumbled upon this video. I just realised that I am a narcissist and I want to start from somewhere. Here seems helpful. 😊 I hope I can really work on myself (not just to show ppl) but actually actually heal. ❤ Thank you Dr and thank you to ppl in the comment section for giving me new hope.
This video gave me so much new info on the topic thank you so much! I thought id seen every video on narcissism by now, but i came to the realization the goal is for the narcissist to learn how to tend to their core content and not rely on others to do it. Its a win win. And then I saw this video to confirm everything and understand even more!
Every time I try to help my daughters father with getting him help for NPD he flips out and thinks I’m attacking him, it’s so difficult to deal with, I don’t know how to properly approach him without making him angry and flipping it on me, he tells me I’m the “crazy one” but I’m not.
Felt this girl. Legit got broken up with and abandoned in a completely different state because I had asked my ex to seek therapy. Now that were states away he aparently wants to work on things. Like im so exhausted but I love him so much.
That's typical narcissistic behavior. You will never change anything about him, you will just suffer abuse over & over & over again. Most behavioral specialist say get out of the relationship.
My ex went to a neurocognitive psychologist. The psychologist recommended CBT therapy, a psychiatrist, and an MRI of his brain. He went to two CBT therapy sessions, then stopped and said the doctor was a quack… Then he and his sisters… Who are more narcissistic than he is… Started attacking me verbally, and convinced him that I was “trying to make him think he was sick “in order to “keep him from leaving me “… I’m currently being sued by them and they are attempting to have me evicted from our home. I honestly don’t think he has any control over his own life right now… He has given control to his covert narcissistic family… And he is going along to get along… So as not to lose his family of origin… Meanwhile, I’m about to be homeless during Covid.
This is the same reason I decided to leave. Tried to help him. And he agreed at first saying I don’t know why I act the way I act so yeah I need help, but in 24 hours, he was back to his old ways, and when I tried to remind him to see things in a different perspective, he angrily said you want to change me so I am not going no where. Nothing is wrong with me but it’s YOU the problem who wants me to be the way you Only want. You are CRAZy, he said and left. So I will tell him again anything and decided to leave. I told him that we can’t be together and he said you will never find a man like me😂. And all the degrading things he could say.
I grew up in a home with all of this.. I became the "therapist, mother ect" and became extremely empathic, and intuitive ... I can relate to anyone.. I think I accidentally stumbled..well intuitively figured out these things and actually have helped several extremely narcissistic ( covert, self depreciating type) people work through alot these things..because I lived the same life.. I understand and don't hate them I have so much empathy.. they hurt so bad. and almost went that way.. but I had little sisters and brothers to protect. It used to come at a major cost to myself, but over the years I have ran into several.. Family members , partners ect..I use extreme compassion steadfastness,and loyalty, paired with not taking it personally grey rocking for a while .. then hit them with thier own methods..mirroring their own behavior to them, letting it hurt letting them get angry and call it out as wrong and then pointing out and admiting to the golem in me first.. and then showing them the same in themselves, but still being there and confirming that thier condition is a normal response to thier upbringing.. a survival mechanism..let them break and stand firm.. and still loving them just as deeply and always building my own self esteem so as to keep them from damaging me... I have watched them overcome this I am so glad someone is giving them hope..they are just broken children 💔 To me a narcissist is just an unhealed empath.
Seriously...when do you breathe freely in dealing with this constant barrage from narcissistic people? I suspect you have never lived in peace dealing with the crap in other people's heads. Or else you are a saint.
Because some of us eventually look back on our trail of actions and behaviors and realize we have a problem. It took several years, and damaging several relationships, for it to dawn on me. But I think the person needs to realize they have a problem first, which is where the hardest part lies.
@Sunny Badfish so you have npd right? i have always wondered how did you guys realize you have npd. like i want to know if you randomly read somewhere about npd would it hit you that you were a narcissist or do someone you trust need to tell you that or the therapist?
@Sunny Badfish The whole reason I ever sought any kind of treatment, was that after my ex left me, I fell into an absurdly powerful depression and needed immediate help to stop the pain. I had two cases of basically losing control over my faculties and enduring the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life and I knew I wasn't going to endure that willingly another time. Through the focus on finding out what exactly is wrong with me and the subsequent doctor visits, I realized a great many things I had developed in my life. I have NPD (PET ME!) and I realized because I was absolutely aware that something was wrong with me apart from the things my first doctor visit and my research uncovered, but I wanted another professional opinion as well. So I hit up a hospital for psychosomatic cases and did as much as I could to cooperate with the people there for just a diagnosis, nothing else. I knew beforehand that I had an anankastic personality disorder and didn't care for human life, my own life or my future, necessarily. I suffered from depression for a long time at that point and had multiple other unknown quirks. So yeah, when I left the clinic, I was diagnosed with NPD, anankastic personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder and endogenic depression. After that I did some of my own research and I can definitely confirm the NPD part is true, even though, because of a lot of other traits I have, I am not a "typical" narcissist.
I like this new:(to me) way if explaining narcs difficulty at changing on their own. Thank you so much for the much needed clarity. ‘ hope that with this, I can somehow help others to go “ help themselves”. Thanks for restoring my hope and improving my understanding
do you intentionally try to trigger people who are close to you? do you feel emptiness rather than sadness when you think you're depressed? do you feel attacked when someone you're in the same room with get appreciation but you don't? do you feel uncomfortable sitting in the same room with a person you view as better than you? have you always been vulnerable one in your life? like your friends hit you from the back, you were the innocent one and no one noticed your innocence and good heart? do you think you are the person who faced with difficulties your entire life when you know people go through things 10 times worse than you? be true to yourself when you're answering those questions, if the answer is yes for most of them, i personally think the odds are high you at least have covert narcissistic tendencies. no one can diagnose you through the internet ofc
@@internetguy8075 I'm in the same situation bruh I was raised by covert narcissistic parents but that doesnt mean I have the personality disorder but I for sure have strong tendencies that I'm very ashamed of because I rely on how others think of me to build who I am 😞
Oh man has anyone ever met a balanced person and do we not contain every aspect of personality traits available to humans, even the smallest amount given a situation or interaction with somebody displaying one of there 4000 traits. It's the roll of the dice. I understand one sub personality can take over if not integrated but damn were complicated. I laugh at Woody Allens quote '90% of problems come with hair on top' he left the bald ones :) great vid, very positive. Thanks
Dear eternal soul, please read my comments to excretum necris James and many others above and below this comment that I hope will give you added perspective on this spiritual condition.Everything that exists was created by a spirit and there are evil spirits at work here in the earth trying to destroy Gods kingdom and people. Some problems can only be solved by our loving mother- father creator who we worship in spirit and truth.
It's so important to remember what Dr Fox says about the core issues of shame, guilt etc (Brene Brown does some great work on this too) and to recognise we are wrestling with broken coping mechanisms, that we narcissists are not inherently broken. I have spent a long time working to fix myself with Buddhist practice, letting go of the ego and developing an empathy for others. We can change, it takes time and persistence. Thank you for this video, it's very helpful.
Thank you Dr Fox. Very good and clear explanation. I think the NPD part is what makes treatment difficult for people with BPD and NPD comorbidity and I personally think NPD is the more insidious of the 2 disorders.
I am a person who was abused physically by a sociopath in my childhood which made me develop very big narcissistic traits. I am now 33 and I have been working on my self for 10 years and I have now reached a point that letting go of the narcissistic traits is almost impossible, but I am still trying. The shame, vulnerability and fear that is below all this bullshit is so massive that I need to still take baby steps so I dont go into str8 psychosis by going into the deep end at once.... The first 6 years was just for becoming actually conscious about my self, and the next 4 years been trying to accept, understand and change behavior. Its REALLY slow, REALLY hard, REALLY REALLY anxious. blah... Maybe some day..
It’s not easy. Your brain and body practiced this behavior for many years and now you are working on changing those patterns. Lots of work ! Study shame and what it does to body. Lots of info on toxic shame. Getting rid of that is freeing. Get lots of new and positive experience with people/ therapists (who you trust) seeing your vulnerabilities - it helps to clear off shame. New positive, supportive experience will override old feelings regarding those situations
I think when you accept you condition, figure out what triggered it, the causation and psychological consequences thereafter, you’ll be able start self repair, contain and/or manage your condition and hopefully through personal effort, heal and build every area of yourself that was damaged
Dr. Daniel, you are awesome! I'm speechless! And I've been educated in 18 minutes trying to understand why they won't complete treatment. I'll be damn! Much respect to you, doctor. 👏
Thanks for being positive about treatment. Every single human is capable of change. Other therapist demonize narcissists. I’m in recovery and an adult child. I have narcissism throughout my whole family. But I grow and change everyday thanks to the help of my higher power. I was just a confused and lost child. My parents isolated me so by the time I left home I was STARVING for connection. But I only had narcissistic parents to teach me how to socialize. I was unknowingly abusing people because that’s all I knew. And other “healthy” people would just leave me without explaining. It made double down on the belief that I was bad and worthless. Which added to my isolating behaviors. Which lead to my addictions. It was a vicious cycle. Thankfully the steps helped me recover.
Dr Dan, you have such a wonderful way of articulating your points on narcissism. You speak in a manner of clarity that I wish I could consistently replicate.
I appreciate the compassionate view of NPD people. My relationships with both parents and every significant intimate relationship were with narcissists. After a 12 year hiatus of singlehood and a LOT of healing, I recently experienced another narc relationship. It was short, only 8 weeks, but REALLY threw me for another 7 weeks before I had a really powerful healing from a lifetime of narc abuse. Now I have a lot of compassion for narcissists. The key to getting to this level was to realize it's not about me. To really embrace my worth and take responsibility for projecting childhood attachment trauma onto them, and forgiving them. I see now how traumatized and unstable these folks are, that likely in most cases have a burden of generational trauma and without some kind of help they are lost. Hopefully effective healing approaches come to light that can reach through their fortress-like defenses.
Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder👇 Grandiose sense of self-importance. Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur. Needs constant praise and admiration. Sense of entitlement. Exploits others without guilt or shame. Frequently demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others.
You forgot to add.. ONLY sees other people as "Objects" Thinks it is OK to cheat on their partner Steals Lies when they have the option to tell the truth Is often involved in criminal activity
@@briansaiditsoitmustbetrue4206 add It’s always their way or no way They are the know it all ,end all be all in every subject and everyone else is a “brainless moron “ Humans are disposable and replaceable objects to be coercively controlled and for conditional and transactional use Used only for the purpose to show one sided allegiance, and to serve their self serving lives There is no chance to ever ever have a peaceful reasonable logical conversation As you are strategically antagonized into an escalated argument by them and set up to react to their provocations in front of others so they look like the victim and you are the alienated villain They bait and lure you into their crazy making inescapable rabbit hole Of no resolutions or peace ..only more and more never ending mounting damage and problems are created
@@Canaday291 100% CORRECT .. They love to play the victim .You are spot on. add.... If your confront the Narcissist ..Call them out and let them know that YOU know they are a Narcissist ... they will use Gaslighting Blame shifting Denial projection double bind Followed by a smear campaign on you and a Character assassination on you ... You then go from been painted white to painted black. And you can expect a hate campaign and revenge many YEARS later on.. They hold on to grudges for Years. Peace to you Nancy ... Kind regards Brian x Stay Narcissist free and practice self love..
You're doing a great job dr. Fox definetly one of the best channels out there thank you for helping me change this behaviors in me and deal with others that treated me poorly too but the best is to know I can change these traits no matter how hard it is! God bless you🙏💙
One problem I have as a psychologist some times is differentiating between narcissists and psychopaths. Because they tend to lie and some times it's hard to say when they are lying, particularly when they know what I am looking for. Some people seem to be able to feel an important life change with therapy, they talk about it like "waking up" but other people seem to keep lying about it, and I think that some of those that can't change may be psychopaths. A narcissist is disconnected from some sort of experiences but he or she can connect with time and effort. But psychopaths seem to be able to just learn what is expected to them, they seem to learn how manipulate people in my position. I never talked in this terms with them but I really find them very hard to work as a collective... both, narcissists and psychopaths.
Lol my mother was a textbook case having every trait on the list. Every day was an anxiety filled day of trying to please her anew. It never mattered what you did the day before.
I think I'm a narcissist cause I always wanted to feel special by my ex bf. I felt like he wasn't giving me enough love & attention. I went no contact for few months. I felt so alone. Now he has a new gf & it's killing me.
In my experience with dating and befriending those on the NPD spectrum, and being in therapy myself it’s my opinion that Narcs are resistant to change, don’t generally seek therapy, and lack personal insight. Power to those who seek to treat any disorder, I just personally can’t imagine (and haven’t seen) any narcs I know enter therapy.
Out of all the videos i watched to learn more about myself and if i am truly living a narcissistic life this by far has the most powerful and direct information in it. im not sure how to make you my actual therapist but wow. thanks for all this info!
It has taken me some two + years to get to this point of understanding the process of getting someone to the point of treatment and what it may take in order for them to remain and progress (“with no promises include”). Thanks Dr Fox.
I suffer from NPD and I don’t know what to do after my ego is stroked. I fall back into the same cycles and it effects the people around me. Love this video but I need more insight. How do I stop myself from repeating the same behaviors?
All the other suggestions PLUS diving into the science of rewiring your minds. Its similar to overcoming addiction and people do that all the time in many ways. This isn't some demon spirit that you cannot get rid of....you literally have to manually override your brain and re-structure it without the fracture of childhood trauma. You can re-wire your brain BUT its really really hard.....but its worth it. The world needs you self aware and healing SO badly. You got the first part. Throw everything you can at the second. The world and beauty of life is waiting for you!
This made me think that I'm an inverted narc. The need for constant admiration, etc. I try to be nice to people all the time, but that is mainly out of a fear of rejection. Superficial admiration is addictive, but genuine interest in me as a person, makes me want to scream and run away.
@@lioydwilliams1850 You've already posted this exact reply on another comment that I left on a different creator's video over a month ago. I've noticed that you leave responses like this to plenty of women on videos regarding emotional abuse and mental health. Stop trying to hit on women like this, especially with your copy & paste BS. It's creepy and inappropriate. I don't need or appreciate your weird comments about my physical appearance, and neither does any other woman. Thanks.
Dr Fox can you do a video describing BPD with narcissistic traits, and also maybe one explaining your observations of differences in the way BPD presents in men vs women?
Dear dr thank you very much. My bf is very complicated person with antisocial narccistic manners... So tired of that behaivour. I m done. Thank you once again
Dr. Fox, my fiancé has been diagnosed with ADHD and depression for close to 30 years, and since some recent trauma involving a family members suicide and an abusive relationship is starting to exhibit textbook markers of BPD. The cycle of anger/shame, the splitting, the threats of personal harm, the emptiness... it is weighing heavy on both of us. Could you do a video for those who live with and love someone with BPD? How to self care, how to not get lost in and dragged down by his spirals... he’s trying his best, but I’m so tired. How do we find the strength to keep supporting them?
He has a lot of videos on BPD - you can search through the video lists. It's driven mainly by a fear of abandonment that can get triggered in different ways, situations or by different people. Some of the times they aren't even aware they have a fear of abandonment - it gets covered over by the splitting and them discarding others.
I wonder if narcissists recognize they are N. Anyway, also we who have "suffered" with their behavior need to look within, so we can heal the wounds that make us attract these persons. I do believe that if we attract a certain kind of people or situations is because we need to learn and to change something in us.
THE POWER OF NOT REACTING: 'Be the most severe judge of yourself and the most understanding friend to others... Train your mind to see the good in every situation.'
@@TerryGuzmanMartinez they do. My father had npd and asp im on hpd spectrum. I have some npd friends or acquaitance even if i wont consider them closes friends. the grandiose type will tell you directly they are one, the others that are recovering from therapy play the victim telling you they ara narcisssist but its not their fault.. narcisists are easily manipolating and they easily mirror people with other cluster b traits. They worst is when you are in a relationship with them or is one of your family member
@@TerryGuzmanMartinez yeah, as a person who is "in between", not patological but with histrionic tendencies and some grade of narcisism more than average, I can see both sides, the victims and the patological ones and sort of understand them both. Even if I still dont understand how people can be in a relationship with a patological narcissist, that must be something wrong from the other side too..
Wow, your description of covert was spot on of my ex! Seems like the overt does everything to try and cover their insecurities while with the covert, its more noticeable tho they don't openly admit it
My husband doesn’t sound like the description of a narc. But he most definitely abused me. I went to his mom a couple times saying he either had ptsd from war or a brain tumor bc he was yelling at me all the time, then saying I was yelling at HIM! I know now I was being gaslighted. He projected. He devalued me. And discarded me. Would breadcrumb me back, but never ever has he told me he wanted to be w me. Bc he is so above me & I am so hard to live with. When we first started counseling, I believed him. I believed something was so bad wrong w me. I tried so hard to make him happy. Then I realized, it was impossible to make him happy. He just kept taking & taking & would never do anything to try to please me... and I lived that way. Now he’s divorcing me, I know he was abusing me. But it still messes w my head that everyone around us seems to love him & hate me still. And I just feel so sorry for him for being so messed up that he has to abuse someone to survive..
Yh, not every abuser is a narcissist. Whether he is or isn't a narc, what he's doing is not excusable & none of it is your fault. I really hope you'll be able to heal.
He is doing you a huge favor by filing for divorce because when you're ready to find the right person... you'll realize what it's really like to be truly loved
Dr. Fox, First off I just want to say how incredibly insightful, clear, and nonjudgmental your videos are. I really appreciate what you do and you inspire me to develop my own therapeutic process that is similar in those important ways. I am a fourth-year sociology student at UCSC and I've just started applying to grad schools for psychology. I am torn between PhD, PsyD, and masters programs in clinical psychology. I would like to have my own private practice eventually and specialize either in addiction or the area of personality disorders. Additionally, I am somewhat challenged because ideally, I would have hands-on internship experience by now but this has been hard due to Covid. If you have any insight it would be invaluable to me. I wondered if you have any advice or have made videos for people who watch your videos with the intent of becoming better counselors or therapists. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Thanks again.
people who say there's no change or cure to nascism, are ignoring human capacity to do good, and to develop love, deep love and respect for your self. when you do that first for yourself, you will treat other people the same way.
As clinical therapist I find my self wondering do I need to make the client aware of those traits early on or not and how to approach it I also finds that information is power and clients do prefer to hear it from the non judgmental clinician than have it thrown in their face from others when they are experiencing a narcissistic wound I really appreciate this videos as it does makes it easier as I can share the video and help the client identify some of the maladaptive patterns
I really concur with Mrkauffdog's comment below: it is good to hear someone talking about Narcissistic people, as people, and about the deep childhood wounding that underlies this adaptation. I would be interested in an explanation of why it seems that those with this condition are so justifiably spoken about in such a particularly objectifying manner. I read that narcissistic type is waxing in society - if so Dr Fox's perspective is salutary, as both people who struggle with workable personalities, and those around them who love them, need more awareness, encouragement, and most of all hope.
Hello I’m really uncertain with my thoughts right now, I have been told that I am narcissistic by others and now that I have more information about NPD I think I’m ready to accept that this might be me, I don’t want attention I want to make that extremely clear I just want clarity
Dr. Fox, this video is really informative. I have been married to someone with BPD with narcissistic traits for more than a decade. I have been suffering tremendous emotional, psychological and mental abuse. He has threatened my loved ones, his loved ones and me. He resists therapy, turns on the therapist nastily and all this has taken a toll on my own mental health. He has absolutely no empathy despite telling him about my own self-harming and suicidal tendencies. He is self-absorbed & selfish. I am seeking an exit strategy, but am trapped. I am terrified of his anger and rageful & violent temper. He will not release me ever. I don't know know what to do. I dont think he really loves me as such anymore and just has me around like a convenience so he isnt alone. I am the one who has been and continues to walk on eggshells around him and adjust to his Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde routine. There is only so much I can take of this abuse. I see death as the only release for me Really trapped!
No! Stop it! You can get out of this! I believe in you! You will find a new job. A new home. And you will leave. Because you can get out. I know it doesnt feel like it, but thats not the point. I´ve been there. I understand that you are thinking of killing yourself and thats no foreign thought to me, but what has helped for me is trying to act as though there were a way out and working my way out of there. Its hard and more painful than suicide maybe, but I can hear in the first part of your text that you still want to life. SO. What could be bad about stopping everything that you know is harmful to you that you are doing to yourself and that you can bring yourself to do and if you start doing what you can and can bring yourself to that is good for you and that you know is good for you and start from there and stick with it consequently. Maybe your optionss seem narrow now, but think about it. Maybe there is possibly a small little chance that you might find a tiny tiny way towards a livable, full and meaningful life. and good luck
Oh sweetheart. You are fucking trapped. You've got to Gray Rock and stop "caring" so much. You are in pain, I'd like to see you not in this pain, but another type of pain, sadness of having had to cut the cord. That will eventually pass because your worth with come to light and your life will improve and this pain will fade. If you don't get sick and tired of being sick and tired things are going to get worse. Please consider your options. Asap.
Dear An, How sad you are suffering so much, however, there is a way out and suicide is not the solution. First of all, you need to change your thinking dear. This life is not the ultimate reality and we don't have to accept that it is. There is a Heaven and a Hell. God is the archer and our lives the bow and he is aiming his arrow of truth at his mark for us. Heaven and eternal life with him who loves and created us. Yes, we cry out because it hurts to be stretched. There is evil, created by the evil one. and we have to fight with spiritual weapons, We do that through prayer and reading God's Word. Quoting scriptures out loud will go down into your spirit and grow a tree of life that will protect and provide shade when the enemy attacks. We just can't do this life by ourselves. If you keep nursing the problem instead of looking at Jesus who took the worst humanity had to offer, your life will be lived in vain and you won't be ready when you crossover at the end of your life. You see God's word teaches that the spirit is younger than the flesh. Therefore the older shall serve the younger. We are not just animals, we are body, soul, and spirit. God uses our suffering to bring glory to us, depending on how we handle it. And he is growing us up, not to destroy us but to give him the glory, he is our deliverer Read the book by Jentzen Franklin " Love Like You Have Never Been Hurt "
Please note, God will make a way of escape but you have to believe it before it will happen. Prayer and programming your spirit is the key. There is a faith teacher and healer on u tube Her name is Jenny Weaver and she is the real deal. I love her singing and teaching.
I’m learned which reactions I make that are actually unhealthy. I constantly explain simple mistakes I make to my manager, I know it drains her she’s an empath and really worries about me . I’m trying to learn that it’s just okay, that I do work hard enough. That’s just one example, it’s such a quick and natural reaction , and I learned that I don’t to feel offended when people point out simple things to aren’t trying to hurt my feelings and it’s just.. it’s hard . I really don’t want to drain everyone around me .
NPD and HPD can be treated, but that requires inducing a personal trauma by cutting all non-essential interactions with anyone for a relatively long time. Something that not everyone can do. (not a medical professional)
Havent watched yet, but self awareness makes all the difference. Most dont even realize what theyre doing, and won’t believe it when told. Unless its by a professional. Getting them to go is the problem.
Inconsistency in upbringing - usually immense grandiose praise for some things, followed by intense shame and anger for other things. Almost like a type of anxious avoidance.
Very interesting thank you DR. Daniel Fox. For sure treatment is all that count to cure narcissistic personality. The progress I am making is beyond believe, so happy to be re-connected with the world.
Is it true that narcissists havent developed an ego and they only have a critical super ego? And if so, when they go for treatment, the therapist doesnt need to help them built an ego first?
I viewed youtube podcast about NPD saying that an NPD has difficulty cooperating in treatment therapy because of some embarassing events in their childhood that they just couldn't deal, thus become deffensive during therapy.
It is with great embarrassment I have come to realise I am a narcissist, maybe the covert type but with the overt tinge. I think the most important thing is to say the truth, to yourself at least. That is my hope to change, I always felt that in crucial moments I will say the truth to myself.
This is a very interesting video. I am acquainted with four people with personality disorders. I have been told they lie in order to get their needs met and try to present themselves as being healthy. Being around these people who blame everyone but themselves for their inability to maintain relationships because of their blaming behaviors, core shame, guilt and feelings of inferiority are impossible to know. Ignoring them causes a narcissistic injury so then they are vindictive and have to punish you, trying to appease them leads them to take advantage of you, and trying to help them understand their behavior makes it impossible to relate to them because they will not take responsibility for their behavior. I am going to move. Three of these people have stalked me for years, lie about me, try to destroy my reputation all in order to force me to be friends with them.
The reversion to default behaviours mentioned here is the reason that compassion is not the only game in town. I believe that we all have a responsibility to not provide any reward for narcissistic behaviours- and in many cases actively punish them. There is a point where the only way that a mal-adapted person can learn is to be forced to adjust their behavioural patterns even if it causes them a lot of suffering in the short term. More generally, I think our society has lost sight of the value of such strategies in how we treat each other- we tend to think that anything approaching shame in the short term is unacceptable even if in the medium term it is resolved and results in growth. I would wager that this goes some way to explaining the increase in narcissistic traits we have seen in recent years- particularly amongst younger people who have often been raised in a hyper-compassionate way without having enough caring judgement as they grew up.
Dear James, there are things going on in this life that no one can account for. So it is reasonable to assume there must be a spiritual domain where things originate that we have little control over. These narcs were dammed by circumstances they had no control over. So should we shame and damn them also? No!!! We have to fight with spiritual weapons the evil spirit that caused the injury. Maybe if we changed our thinking and realized that God allows evil. And if this life wasn't a challenge then what reward would we have if all we did was float through life like a jellyfish, feeding, and breeding? We are on a noble quest but we have to do things Gods way. God is the archer and our lives are the bow and he is aiming his arrow of truth at his mark, not ours. And we get hurt and cry out but he just goes on stretching us. We are here to overcome in this life like Jesus did when he paid for our sin on the cross. And he loves us even though we all crucified him. You should read the book by Jentzen Franklin, Love Like You Have Never Been Hurt
P.S. It takes spiritual weapons to defeat spiritual enemies. Prayer and fasting. This life is not the ultimate reality. We can not live as though it is or we will despair and give up. Our suffering is going to bring a great victory for us when we crossover into eternity someday. We speak over our lives what God says about us not always look at what the devil is doing. God is love and God's love is in me.1 John 4:8Quoting scriptures is how we program our minds to what is the truth according to God's Word." God has placed within me a pure heart and my motives and attitude are acceptable in his sight. Jesus Christ is Lord of my life." Ezekial 36:26
@@risingspirit2229 Yes, indeed, we are body, soul and spirit. Bessel van der Kolk for example explains how trauma affects the physical body (THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE), yet the spiritual dimension is even more foundational, since God gives us not a spirit of fear, but of love power and a sound mind. Through self-control we take our thoughts captive in obedience to Christ. Romans 1 explains how we are given over to destructive thoughts and behaviour if we choose to arrogantly worship the created thing rather than The Creator (this includes fear of man that brings a snare), and if we are unthankful (bitter and resentful).
'Hyper-compassion with lack of caring judgement' is also a false message that goes out from pulpits: Only declaring God's compassion, salvation through grace, His perfect love, and mercy; this while neglecting His holiness, wrath on sin, and upcoming judgement of all according to their works. There are parents who expect too much of their children - driving them to perform as extentions of themselves. Another problem is helicopter parenting: Too much protection, absence of socialisation amongst siblings, and lack of privation - resulting from growing up in small families. This also contributes to current youths not prepared to be strong enough to endure hardships, as well as being deficient in relationship skills.
@@maricamaas5555 Absolutely- I think it's very much a balance between the two. You need compassion and judgement. For a long time like you say things went too far into the realm of shame- but I believe we have swung too far in the other direction today
Wow excellent breakdown. Aggravation installment plan: I was the “recipient” of this. Captures it perfectly. Never heard it framed this way. Thanks for the education.🙏
What's the difference between a narcissistic wound and a BPD split? I see little to no difference. What's the difference between the fear of abandonment and desire for glorification of oneself?
I see a lot of comments saying that narcissists enjoy hurting other people and this and that. As one who is working on not being one, I can confidently say I do not enjoy hurting people. It was really just me being ignorant to the world around me. I never noticed if I was being an asshole or not because I was so focused on myself and why I felt so down all the time. Looking outward instead of inward is really helping me recently. I also keep repeating to myself "I'm not special" whenever something slightly inconvenient happens and I start to get angry. All I can do is try to be a better person from here on and hope that I can one day repay those who I've hurt. I wish I could've come across videos like these 8 years ago.
A solution is to not think about yourself all the time. More think about society in general and how it can be improved. Be aware about the problems around you. Get away from Influencers that pushes this narcissistic Lifestyle.
I’m also diagnosed NPD, it’s hard to explain to people that it’s not that I intentionally did the bad things I did or continue to have the “bad thoughts” it’s as natural and seems as normal to me as breathing. I didn’t know I was being abusive and I didn’t know my behavior was harming people. Now after almost 10 years of treatment I know these things but they are still there, the thoughts and beliefs never go away and I have to hold myself accountable more often then not. It’s not even about not focusing on myself it’s focusing myself onto something better, like if I’m gonna be grandiose no matter what I might as well use that confidante and power for beneficial things. Like being honest and kind are hard things, even people who aren’t narcs have issues with doing it, so I’ve just convinced myself that because I’m typically better/smarter/more capable than there is no reason why I shouldn’t be the most kind honest person there is. And it’s like a mind warp to try to get the delusions, since they never leave, to almost accommodate for themselves. If I gotta be great at everything I do or else I fall into a panicked episode of feeling out of control, then I’ll be great at being a good sibling, and I’ll be great at telling the truth, or I’ll be great at going to my treatments and learning the most I can from them. It’s a weird place to be in when I try to describe it because some would say my intentions still are “bad” but my friends and family understand that my normal isn’t the same as theirs and accept it even if they don’t understand completely. There is a healthy life in personality disorders even if the symptoms never go away
I suspect not thinking about yourself all the time is not so much the solution as the challenge here. Not everyone can choose where their minds goes in all circumstances
Stop hurting people!
Start listening others!
STOP LISTENING TO YOUR FALSE SELF
@@flowerfabuki4783 Narcissist never admits their wrong doing, if u want to learn yourself start documentating all your message and conversation with your love ones if u are true human Prove to the world the fact that you are not HURTING. (Lifetime - Recorded)
My NEX wont dare to contradict the fact that i gathered during our marriage. So time to start for u!
I heard narcissist are mentally stuck at the age they get traumatized at, I’m a narcissist and I want to mature and improve I just don’t know what do anymore
Go get help
Same
It might even be you having to surrender, face what your running from it could be deeply spiritual. So I don't know your faith or if you have belief in something higher.
@@grimesgrindelwald6100 I am running away from infinite pain, anger , shame and overwhelming helplessness. I feel i would disintegrate or just die if i feel my burried feelings consciously.
Same! It’s creepy to know that my feelings for my own family is most likely fake because “we don’t have empathy”. Whole time I can cry and physically feel my heart sink when someone or pet is mistreated, but that really isn’t empathy. All in all, I know I need to change though because it’s damaging to my family.
It is wonderful to see someone that genuinely cares for the person with narcissistic traits. My wife committed today that she will get evaluated because our marriage is literally falling apart. I have read multiple books and watched hundreds of hours of videos and this video is probably the only one I would be willing to show my wife that I don't believe would push her away because it focuses on what the person is suffering with in a compassionate way. I hope my wife follows through with the evaluation and treatment because we have been married for 22 years and even though she is not diagnosed, the patterns of the behavior have overwhelmingly blossomed and to destructive patterns. I hate how my identity has literally been erased with how she sees me, but I hear someone inside crying out and hopefully, and God willing, this is the first step to healing in a healthy way.
im going through the same with my partner. I'm educating myself so I can help him better.
We are still young and I refuse to let this go on. He is hurting himself in this process.
I've gone through a lot of trauma in my life to the point of this not really affecting me all that much other than wanting him to be OKEY. I knew he was a narcissist almost from the get go and knew we would get to this at some point. We are a very introspective couple. We talk about everything and anything and it was bound to happen. He didn't know he was a narcissist so we are trying to face this now together.
God bless I hope you are in a decent place friend 💞
I'm at the journey now, my husband will receive the test results... how did id go after? Hope you are ok
I hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself. Your wife too. You both deserve peace and safety whether you are together or apart.
let her gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
A person with NPD is like a drowning victim-
If you try to swim over to save them, be very careful because they will grab you and pull you down with them and you’ll both drown-
Orrr the rescuer will get extremely battered and scratched trying to save them.
I’m not saying let them drown..
I’m saying throw them a life preserver or something and protect yourself.
This is so true! I even read about civil people being SUIED after saving someone's life (drowning, burning car etc), because the person being saved felt their life wasn't saved in a proper manner by this civil, who risked their own health and even life trying to help. Some of them actually won the case in court, due to corruption.
Not kidding, some people are just teffiryingly selfish. There's a massive difference between healthy selfcare and toxic selfishness.
Frog and the scorpion. True
That rescuer/victim mentality is keeping you in the vicious cycle of idealization/devaluation. Stop the abuse cycle, black & white thinking. There is a grey area...everyone is not either victim or abuser. That is your brain lying to you, don't be deluded/believe your own lies. Rescue yourself first.. meaning, don't be a hypocrite & scapegoater. That is...if you even care about anyone else other than as an extension for supply(stuff)...As well as your self preservation mentality being top priority before your loved ones own well being...SMFH
@@lumijasminasmr3583 These people are dangerous & can be lethal. They will systematically cognitively disassemble your life, your world, your health, your mind...and if they leave you to die you may be lucky...because they ARE capable of taking your life....without concern..& then there are the ones who will talk you into taking your own.
Wow!! This is so so very true! Unfortunately, I have tried to save the drowning victim
The key is treatment and it must be done like treating a child not a adult. People with full N.P.D their core is a broken child.
Heal the inner child.
@@coketey3372 whose innerchild ?? Narc or empath ?
@@RT-nv4pn everyones. period.
ॐ खुशी हुई।।
Can narcissist change
I think there's hope with anyone who is willing to change. I think with inverted narcs like me can be treated from it, because it's like an addiction for us and change our ways to healthy functional ways. And ofc.. it's because i want to be healthy and healed.
The first sentence said it all.!
Your attitude is very positive and that is such a good sign
Dear eternal soul, please read my comments below, some are hidden under the reply button. I know they would help you sort things out in your mind. God bless you!!!
Had a relationship with a grandiose narcissist who artfully will transition into a covered one when necessary, she was always in control of how to restore her "balances"
This one will never be healed.
The Gold ones are a menacing treat and in my view fascinating at it.
If there is no empathy there is no hope and hope at the end is just wishful thinking.
If you actively & authentically WANT to change that's one thing. I wish you all the best!
Thank you for being positive about treatment for NPD! A lot of therapists aren't.
You are being to generous when you say a lot, the truth is the majority of them believe that but they have the audacity to call themselves therapist. What kind of therapist can you be when you tell a person that there is no hope for them.
Nor should they be. Y'all are dangerous
@@terrencerandall3127 🙏❤️
A friend who studies psychology recently said to me "A lot of people don't want to let go of their trauma because it makes them special." This is obviously especially true for covert narcissists, but I think it is true for MANY people and important for everyone to reflect on...
We've all been through Some childhood trauma, but that doesn't mean we're narcissistic, or psychopaths... I've been through my own, but I Don't play victim, or Manipulate people. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄. Quit feeling sorry for these creeps. That's part of their Game. 🙄🙄🙄
@@elizabethbowie9753 People can show narcistic traits and not be narcissists, It shows more about you in your comment to call people with mental trauma "creeps"
@@conkadonk4976 There are so many comments like this everywhere and it makes me wonder how many people are completely oblivious of their persona... "I'm not a narcissist" and then proceeds to hate on a category (possibly ill) of people. Like wth?
@Vlad I imir poor souls
YES!
I've just realised I have many of the symptoms of narcissism. I can't actually believe it...I really want to get this fixed because I am very unhappy with my life deep down.
th-cam.com/video/cGJblcKsBPg/w-d-xo.html
Ditto :(
Same here. I also have symptoms of borderline personality disorder... It sucks :(
Same
Must've took a lot of effort to admit that. Hope you get the help & support you need to overcome your issues.
I always thought myself I was sensible and emotional and very empathic but the last days I reflected what I did and what I said in front of other people and realized that I did everything for my self-image. I told good friends of mine that they shouldn‘t do certain things and instead should do this or they should buy this. I don‘t know if I am a real narcissist or if I only have some traits of a narcissist. I only know that I will start therapy because I know that something isn’t right the way I am. My deepest wish is that I can someday give my family and friends something back for everything they did for me. 😕
narcissism is like the virus in walking dead. WE ALL HAVE IT. Its a spectrum you must let reality check and balance.
Nothing wrong with mindfulness, but it's also pretty human to want people to think the best of you. It depends what you'll do to get it.
I doubt a Narc would even consider what you wrote here. Usually they go to therapy because they are depressed not because they see the errors of their ways.
I'm sometimes worried that I myself might be a covert narcissist and I'm glad to hear that there ARE successful cases of treatment. I get scared whenever I hear or read stuff that basically sounds as though narcissism seems to be an uncurable genetical neverchanging illness-thing that forces you to be an as***le for your entire life who has to be left forever alone.
So scary .
Nothing forces you to be an a**ho#@. You are on the right track in recognizing there is something wrong. If you humble down and accept that you need fundamental change in your outlook and behavior, you will live a healthy life with good relationships. Cast out into the deep. You'll never regret it.
Feel the same.
Well done for even considering it, the fact that you are shows that there much hope.
😢❤
I'm a narcissist, I will be seeing someone to seek help soon. I'm just afraid there's no hope to change, afraid I won't like my psychologist. But I know that I'm just making excuses to convince myself to not go. So I'm not gonna listen to that part of me, the part that hurt others, I can see it coming out of their mouthes but I can't see it myself
Edit: I have been seeing a therapist for a year, I was gaslighted to believe and almost off myself because of how guilty I felt. I felt so much guilt for things I didn't do
go for it don't lose hope u can do it...my girlfriend is a narc too.trying to get her see a pychologist no matter what happened i won't give up on her..
@@tracermadrona8721 I hope that doesn't hurt you like it hurt my ex boyfriend, and he's the purest person ever. Strong and always helped me. Now he's my biggest motivation to change even thou he doesn't want to be with me again. I just know he'll be happy to know that I'm working on it. He always faced me with truth and never insulted me. He just always faced me with ths harsh truth which would hurt me so much and I'd cry so much. He caused my narcissistic wound, he helped me see it.
You sound like a good person. Stay strong and don't let it hurt you.
Good insight
Not all psychologists know how to work with narcissists. Hopefully you'll find someone who knows how to help you in a right way! I'm glad you're made conscious of your disorder. I wish you'll be able to heal!
@@nataliapetrova4758 I have started seeing a psychologist for 3 months he confirmed I'm not one, but it's people around me, they are, and they convinced me somehow that it's my issue
Hallelujah! It is so, so, so HARD to find ANYONE who is optimistic about narcissists being able to change! It is entirely possible. I AM one!😊
You never was one.
Your parents were. You changed because you got rid of simple narcissistic trauma your parents caused. But you never had full blow NPD.
Full blown npd can't be cured fully.
Can you share about your experience? Or maybe make contents to share the.
I've learned a lot today, thank you.
I am a covert narcissist, and I am currently going through a fractured period filled with guilt and shame as you noted.
I found it super helpful how temporary treatment merely heals the fracture and the ego is restored. Now I know what I thought was genuine progress was a band-aid to a much deeper condition.
I have no denial this is a critical issue and I'm willing to put in the work. I have estranged my toxic family, and have practiced meditation daily for several years. I have been told I've made progress.
I am currently seeing a Therapist, and will do so for as long as it takes. Thank you.
Study the nature of shame and what it does to a person. Toxic shame is useless and being used to control you
@@tatianahawaii13 I am mostly filled with guilt. My excuse that I'm not physically abusive like my dad is a weak one. I can be manipulative and verbal.
I just don't want to hurt anyone anymore.
My therapist says recognizing narcissism and showing signs of empathy are both unheard of - but I feel there's more work ahead.
I will look into shame and toxic shame, thank you.
sign of healing because you're admitting it
Oh no, I'm a narc. I just thought I was anxious.. I'm anxious because I'm a narc. I run a business, it has been tough, my partner has pet my kitty at every step. Anytime something goes wrong at work I feel overwhelmed and anxious and whilst I handle it ok (usually, at work with the employees, I don't flip out in front of them, I take some time and respond in a more productive calculated manor) however, my partner catches my response in realtime and that response is soo over the top doom and gloom and I become very snappy towards her. This video explained a lot
Your work is genuinely world-changing, Dr Fox. The ways you talk about people who have bpd/npd traits, it's so focused on people getting better and of course not attaching stigma to the label... It is clear you do this out of care, and please know you are a fucking treasure and helping so so many people, including myself, with some things that are so difficult to discuss with others, due to the stigma. Everything I learn in your videos, I bring it in my life and I try to offer what I can to others, seriously. You are great!!!!
Thank you very much for your kind words. They mean a lot, and they help keep me motivated to keep providing this content. I wish you all the best.
Thank you for giving people hope who want to heal. I do not have this disorder but I still appreciate your efforts. If we keep being stuck in the thinking that it is hopeless with these people anyway then maybe we rob them the choice of healing all together and well, who wants more deeply wounded people on this planet is an idiot and is not even thinking of himself either.
'We rejoice in the hope of the glory of God, not only that but we also rejoice in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverance... character... and hope...' The 'run as fast as you can' and 'no-contact' advice dished out obsessively do not provide real solutions to either victims or offenders... Yes, we need to learn about how to maintain healthy boundaries, yet we do not get stronger by running away and by isolating ourselves from that which can possibly hurt us.
@@maricamaas5555 These people don't believe in the power of God, believer's don't get too choose the battle we must fight all we can do is let God fight for us like he promise because it is not by might, nor by power but by my spirit says the Lord of host and if we be willing and obedient we will eat the fruit of the land.
Some therapists speak of people with npd as monsters and “throw aways” which I don’t believe
@@laurieannJake NARCS LIE, CHEAT, STEAL, VERBALLY & EMOTIONALLY ABUSE PEOPLE. THEY DESTROY OTHERS AND HAVE NO EMPATHY. I CALL THAT A MONSTER. WE NEED TO.CUT THESE PEOPLE FROM OUR LIVES PERIOD.
I believe in louise hay, saying, there,s a cure to every ailments, physically, mentally,,,it's up to you to embrace it or reject it. the choice is in your hands,,.
You are the first and only, so far, to give any hope for treating this issue. Thank you so much.
I'm glad I could provide some hope for you! Thank you for your kind words.
Dr fox, this video is very useful to understand narcissism and you have made a quality content video. All of your points are accurate.
I myself am struggling and the videos ive found about the danger of my condition for other people really exasperates it all i do is watch my step and only give never take i try so vary hard. All i can say brother is do your best to pretend like other people are you its worked for me so far fingers crossed
Who voted down? This man is the epitomy of personality disorder info. He is not wrong. ♥️♥️♥️ I'm so grateful for what he's done for me over the internet, for free... He's the best of the best.
The "thumbs down" button does NOT mean someone doesn't dislike the video. It is intended to indicate that you're not interested in the subject so that the algorithmn will know not to suggest content like this for that particular person.
...and yes, he certainly knows these disorders, but not everyone is interested in the same topics we are.
@@jairotucker6662 Quite narcisistic
He is OK, but misses on a few things. I will vote thumbs up when he comes up with a better strategy than "restoring the ego" we are all spiritual beings and the egoic nature of narcissistic personality is what makes them destroy others. Letting go of ego and filling the void with real love, integrity and honesty is a better way imo.
@@le_th_ You are the only one who thinks that. If you’re not interested in a video then do not click on it.
@@bubbercakes528 I can see you're the type of person who genuinely struggles with anyone who doesn't share your opinion.
...and never have I been so "unique" and/or "special" to be the only one to ever have had a thought. lol Only a fool believes they're that unique.
I respect your dedication to help others. I've made the experience that a bpd male person with narcissistic traits is so stubborn to take help from outside even if they tend to damage relationships around themselves. Another issue is the ignorance and arrogance of Narcissists that lead them to believe that no Psychologist or Psychiatrist can help them. Even if they come to the point where they recognize something is wrong, they prefer to continue living in that self created hell instead of seeking help and being open to it. Another factor is also how and where you've been raised, certain cultures raise their "men" in a way that forbids them to accept help from outside. They believe that they just have to discipline themselves and that's it. Therefore you maybe have to have some emotional intelligence or being open for getting therapy to search that level, but sadly many never reach that level. And then we have plenty emotional/verbal abusers that believe that nothing is really wrong with them. Surely some relationships trigger them in some way, but it's their responsibility to take care of their demons. I hope your videos will help many mentally sick people, because surely they're helping me to understand these people more.
Hello, yes, psychiatrists and psychologists can not solve a problem that originated in the spiritual realm because spiritual problems can only be cured by spiritual solutions. God is the only one who they can turn to but not untill they know that they are lost.They were exposed at a young age to evil crippling influences that scarred their spirit, and soul.That is the horrible truth and untill they seek God they will be lost.Well meaning people who try to rescue them without spiritual guidance just perpetuate the problem. Evil spirits do perpetuate, multiply themselves.Please read my comments above for added perspective.There are a few. I try not to offend anyone but give truth where I am able.God bless all.
I'd also worry about them getting therapy, becoming self-aware, taking pride in the fact that they harm people and thinking narcissism and a lack of empathy is somehow superior from the "normies", and just using everything they've learnt to harm others and benefit themselves more efficiently.
In my own personal experience I have observed that it can be both for them, grandiose and vulnerable depending on time and circumstance. They warp seemingly fluidly btw both ‘types’ at times.
You're one of the few I've seen talk about practical ways to treat narcissism. Everyone in the psyc community I'veencountered or found through googeling seems to have this fear that they'll just teach them to be better liars or more manipulative if they even try. You're right, it's painfully hard to find anyone willing to do the treatment. One of the reasons is because they do bail on treatment.
But really, I know a LOOOT of people who do genuinely have this disorder, and they hate it. They don't WANT victims to pick on and abuse. They don't WANT to manipulate people, and above all, they don't want to drive people away. It can feel so hopeless and powerless to feel like you're unable to get better and then when researching, see so many people referring to you as if you're some monster who everyone else should guard against and needs saving from. As we all know, with narcissism, such attitudes just make them more sensitive and defensive, which really is just throwing fuel onto an already out of control bonfire.
Thanks for your comment.
Wow. I feel like a proverbial mirror was propped up to my face in this video. Very painful, but hopefully, it can produce results and change in me. Thanks, Dr. Fox!
I was raised by a covert narc and have known a few others. The foundation for all the narcissistic behaviours seems to me is their incredible insecurity. Maybe addressing this fundamental aspect would help the most.
It seems to be at the core of it.
Can the core be fixed?
Fear...
That's all about them, they lack empathy...they only care about their own feelings. How is that possible to change? They just feel ashamed of themselves, which is self centeredness. They won't be held accountable because they lack compassion & blame the real victims!
Toxic or malignant narcs, NPD's are not changeable no matter what the "experts" say. The stats show such low info because they only way to get it is if the narc is forced to treatment usually via courts. Even then they can do & will lie, manipulate charm, confuse, gaslight and otherwise BS the info. Only an incredibly astute discerning well trained professional can work around the theatre and cull the truth.
God says the devil takes them captive at his will. How can we reason a problem that originated in the spiritual realm, to begin with? Please read my comments at the top of this pge to James and others for added perspective on God's truths.
Brilliant video 💜 I pray for more research, patience and compassion from healthcare professionals. I know it won’t be easy but it will 100% be worthwhile.
My mother was a malignant narcissist. Of course this was projected onto me. Luckily, a Psych grad student friend, someone i trusted, informed me of my behavior to which I was unaware. That was 20 years ago and I have endeavored to become a better person to all those around me. My first step was to slow down, stop immediately judging what I hear, and try to feel and truly hear people from their perspective. Also helpful was diving into Stoic concepts and principles.
I now lead a more loving and caring life. I am truly thankful for my friend who pointed out my huge blind spot. She really took a risk and invested her knowledge to our friendship. I understand that informing someone with NPD that they have NPD typically produces a negative outcome.
It's amazing how self-awareness can lead to such positive changes in our lives. Kudos to you for taking the necessary steps to become a better person and for embracing a more loving and caring life!
After a private consultion with Hg Tudor,
I have a much better understanding. I totally recommend his TH-cam channel called: "Narcissism and Psychopathy with HG Tudor"
Glad I stumbled upon this video.
I just realised that I am a narcissist and I want to start from somewhere. Here seems helpful.
😊 I hope I can really work on myself (not just to show ppl) but actually actually heal. ❤
Thank you Dr and thank you to ppl in the comment section for giving me new hope.
This video gave me so much new info on the topic thank you so much! I thought id seen every video on narcissism by now, but i came to the realization the goal is for the narcissist to learn how to tend to their core content and not rely on others to do it. Its a win win. And then I saw this video to confirm everything and understand even more!
I don’t want to effect the people around me negatively
Thank you Dr! Your videos helped a lot with my BPD and Vulnerable Narcissism🙏🏼🙏🏼
Every time I try to help my daughters father with getting him help for NPD he flips out and thinks I’m attacking him, it’s so difficult to deal with, I don’t know how to properly approach him without making him angry and flipping it on me, he tells me I’m the “crazy one” but I’m not.
Felt this girl. Legit got broken up with and abandoned in a completely different state because I had asked my ex to seek therapy. Now that were states away he aparently wants to work on things. Like im so exhausted but I love him so much.
That's typical narcissistic behavior. You will never change anything about him, you will just suffer abuse over & over & over again. Most behavioral specialist say get out of the relationship.
My ex went to a neurocognitive psychologist. The psychologist recommended CBT therapy, a psychiatrist, and an MRI of his brain. He went to two CBT therapy sessions, then stopped and said the doctor was a quack… Then he and his sisters… Who are more narcissistic than he is… Started attacking me verbally, and convinced him that I was “trying to make him think he was sick “in order to “keep him from leaving me “… I’m currently being sued by them and they are attempting to have me evicted from our home. I honestly don’t think he has any control over his own life right now… He has given control to his covert narcissistic family… And he is going along to get along… So as not to lose his family of origin… Meanwhile, I’m about to be homeless during Covid.
The best thing for you is to go no contact with him.
This is the same reason I decided to leave. Tried to help him. And he agreed at first saying I don’t know why I act the way I act so yeah I need help, but in 24 hours, he was back to his old ways, and when I tried to remind him to see things in a different perspective, he angrily said you want to change me so I am not going no where. Nothing is wrong with me but it’s YOU the problem who wants me to be the way you Only want. You are CRAZy, he said and left. So I will tell him again anything and decided to leave. I told him that we can’t be together and he said you will never find a man like me😂. And all the degrading things he could say.
This really just helped me out.. I finally get it.. thank you so much explains a lot..
I grew up in a home with all of this.. I became the "therapist, mother ect" and became extremely empathic, and intuitive ... I can relate to anyone..
I think I accidentally stumbled..well intuitively figured out these things and actually have helped several extremely narcissistic ( covert, self depreciating type) people work through alot these things..because I lived the same life.. I understand and don't hate them I have so much empathy.. they hurt so bad. and almost went that way.. but I had little sisters and brothers to protect.
It used to come at a major cost to myself, but over the years I have ran into several..
Family members , partners ect..I use extreme compassion steadfastness,and loyalty,
paired with not taking it personally grey rocking for a while .. then hit them with thier own methods..mirroring their own behavior to them, letting it hurt letting them get angry and call it out as wrong and then pointing out and admiting to the golem in me first.. and then showing them the same in themselves, but still being there and confirming that thier condition is a normal response to thier upbringing.. a survival mechanism..let them break and stand firm..
and still loving them just as deeply and always building my own self esteem so as to keep them from damaging me...
I have watched them overcome this I am so glad someone is giving them hope..they are just broken children 💔 To me a narcissist is just an unhealed empath.
You sure?
I’m finding it quite hard to deal with my narcissist.. the lies and cheating have taken its toll .. I’d like him gone😭😭😭😭 he’s taken some much from me
Seriously...when do you breathe freely in dealing with this constant barrage from narcissistic people? I suspect you have never lived in peace dealing with the crap in other people's heads. Or else you are a saint.
How can there ever be treatment for someone, who thinks, there is nothing wrong with them?
I'm surprised he's done this video and saying he had patients that are. Wow, that's wild m will power, yes I love that, come see the best of the best!
Because some of us eventually look back on our trail of actions and behaviors and realize we have a problem. It took several years, and damaging several relationships, for it to dawn on me. But I think the person needs to realize they have a problem first, which is where the hardest part lies.
Tyler Thomson I agree with you
@Sunny Badfish so you have npd right? i have always wondered how did you guys realize you have npd. like i want to know if you randomly read somewhere about npd would it hit you that you were a narcissist or do someone you trust need to tell you that or the therapist?
@Sunny Badfish
The whole reason I ever sought any kind of treatment, was that after my ex left me, I fell into an absurdly powerful depression and needed immediate help to stop the pain. I had two cases of basically losing control over my faculties and enduring the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life and I knew I wasn't going to endure that willingly another time.
Through the focus on finding out what exactly is wrong with me and the subsequent doctor visits, I realized a great many things I had developed in my life.
I have NPD (PET ME!) and I realized because I was absolutely aware that something was wrong with me apart from the things my first doctor visit and my research uncovered, but I wanted another professional opinion as well. So I hit up a hospital for psychosomatic cases and did as much as I could to cooperate with the people there for just a diagnosis, nothing else.
I knew beforehand that I had an anankastic personality disorder and didn't care for human life, my own life or my future, necessarily. I suffered from depression for a long time at that point and had multiple other unknown quirks. So yeah, when I left the clinic, I was diagnosed with NPD, anankastic personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder and endogenic depression.
After that I did some of my own research and I can definitely confirm the NPD part is true, even though, because of a lot of other traits I have, I am not a "typical" narcissist.
I like this new:(to me) way if explaining narcs difficulty at changing on their own. Thank you so much for the much needed clarity. ‘ hope that with this, I can somehow help others to go “ help themselves”. Thanks for restoring my hope and improving my understanding
Now I'm sitting here wondering if I'm a covert narcissist. What is the best way to find out? I want to be a better person.
do you intentionally try to trigger people who are close to you? do you feel emptiness rather than sadness when you think you're depressed? do you feel attacked when someone you're in the same room with get appreciation but you don't? do you feel uncomfortable sitting in the same room with a person you view as better than you? have you always been vulnerable one in your life? like your friends hit you from the back, you were the innocent one and no one noticed your innocence and good heart? do you think you are the person who faced with difficulties your entire life when you know people go through things 10 times worse than you? be true to yourself when you're answering those questions, if the answer is yes for most of them, i personally think the odds are high you at least have covert narcissistic tendencies. no one can diagnose you through the internet ofc
@@Elif-pq7cc Thanks for that list. I should bring this up with my therapist, although I'm scared to.
@@internetguy8075 I'm in the same situation bruh I was raised by covert narcissistic parents but that doesnt mean I have the personality disorder but I for sure have strong tendencies that I'm very ashamed of because I rely on how others think of me to build who I am 😞
Oh man has anyone ever met a balanced person and do we not contain every aspect of personality traits available to humans, even the smallest amount given a situation or interaction with somebody displaying one of there 4000 traits. It's the roll of the dice. I understand one sub personality can take over if not integrated but damn were complicated. I laugh at Woody Allens quote '90% of problems come with hair on top' he left the bald ones :) great vid, very positive. Thanks
Dear eternal soul, please read my comments to excretum necris James and many others above and below this comment that I hope will give you added perspective on this spiritual condition.Everything that exists was created by a spirit and there are evil spirits at work here in the earth trying to destroy Gods kingdom and people. Some problems can only be solved by our loving mother- father creator who we worship in spirit and truth.
It's so important to remember what Dr Fox says about the core issues of shame, guilt etc (Brene Brown does some great work on this too) and to recognise we are wrestling with broken coping mechanisms, that we narcissists are not inherently broken. I have spent a long time working to fix myself with Buddhist practice, letting go of the ego and developing an empathy for others. We can change, it takes time and persistence.
Thank you for this video, it's very helpful.
Thank you Dr Fox. Very good and clear explanation. I think the NPD part is what makes treatment difficult for people with BPD and NPD comorbidity and I personally think NPD is the more insidious of the 2 disorders.
I am a person who was abused physically by a sociopath in my childhood which made me develop very big narcissistic traits. I am now 33 and I have been working on my self for 10 years and I have now reached a point that letting go of the narcissistic traits is almost impossible, but I am still trying. The shame, vulnerability and fear that is below all this bullshit is so massive that I need to still take baby steps so I dont go into str8 psychosis by going into the deep end at once.... The first 6 years was just for becoming actually conscious about my self, and the next 4 years been trying to accept, understand and change behavior. Its REALLY slow, REALLY hard, REALLY REALLY anxious. blah... Maybe some day..
It’s not easy. Your brain and body practiced this behavior for many years and now you are working on changing those patterns. Lots of work ! Study shame and what it does to body. Lots of info on toxic shame. Getting rid of that is freeing. Get lots of new and positive experience with people/ therapists (who you trust) seeing your vulnerabilities - it helps to clear off shame. New positive, supportive experience will override old feelings regarding those situations
I wish you a smooth journey and I appreciate the work you do for yourself
Ugh, I relate to this. The shame and guilt of who we are feels so intense that it can drive you into a state of psychosis. Holy crap man, relatable.
Very good distinction between ASPD and NPD and the characteristics. The line can be blurry sometimes.
I think when you accept you condition, figure out what triggered it, the causation and psychological consequences thereafter, you’ll be able start self repair, contain and/or manage your condition and hopefully through personal effort, heal and build every area of yourself that was damaged
Dr. Daniel, you are awesome! I'm speechless! And I've been educated in 18 minutes trying to understand why they won't complete treatment. I'll be damn! Much respect to you, doctor. 👏
Thanks for being positive about treatment. Every single human is capable of change. Other therapist demonize narcissists. I’m in recovery and an adult child. I have narcissism throughout my whole family. But I grow and change everyday thanks to the help of my higher power. I was just a confused and lost child. My parents isolated me so by the time I left home I was STARVING for connection. But I only had narcissistic parents to teach me how to socialize. I was unknowingly abusing people because that’s all I knew. And other “healthy” people would just leave me without explaining. It made double down on the belief that I was bad and worthless. Which added to my isolating behaviors. Which lead to my addictions. It was a vicious cycle. Thankfully the steps helped me recover.
Dr Dan, you have such a wonderful way of articulating your points on narcissism. You speak in a manner of clarity that I wish I could consistently replicate.
I appreciate the compassionate view of NPD people. My relationships with both parents and every significant intimate relationship were with narcissists. After a 12 year hiatus of singlehood and a LOT of healing, I recently experienced another narc relationship. It was short, only 8 weeks, but REALLY threw me for another 7 weeks before I had a really powerful healing from a lifetime of narc abuse. Now I have a lot of compassion for narcissists.
The key to getting to this level was to realize it's not about me. To really embrace my worth and take responsibility for projecting childhood attachment trauma onto them, and forgiving them.
I see now how traumatized and unstable these folks are, that likely in most cases have a burden of generational trauma and without some kind of help they are lost.
Hopefully effective healing approaches come to light that can reach through their fortress-like defenses.
You just explained all my traits man wtf i see why I ruin all my relationships I need therapy
Wow, you have no idea how good it is that you saw some things. You can self-reflect. That's great.
Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder👇
Grandiose sense of self-importance.
Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur.
Needs constant praise and admiration.
Sense of entitlement.
Exploits others without guilt or shame.
Frequently demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others.
Yessss!!💯💯💯
You forgot to add..
ONLY sees other people as "Objects"
Thinks it is OK to cheat on their partner
Steals
Lies when they have the option to tell the truth
Is often involved in criminal activity
@@briansaiditsoitmustbetrue4206
add
It’s always their way or no way
They are the know it all ,end all be all in every subject and everyone else is a “brainless moron “
Humans are disposable and replaceable objects to be coercively controlled and for conditional and transactional use
Used only for the purpose to show one sided allegiance, and to serve their self serving lives
There is no chance to ever ever have a peaceful reasonable logical conversation
As you are strategically antagonized into an escalated argument by them and set up to react to their provocations in front of others so they look like the victim and you are the alienated villain
They bait and lure you into their crazy making inescapable rabbit hole
Of no resolutions or peace ..only more and more never ending mounting damage and problems are created
@@Canaday291 100% CORRECT .. They love to play the victim .You are spot on.
add....
If your confront the Narcissist ..Call them out and let them know that YOU know they are a Narcissist ... they will use
Gaslighting
Blame shifting
Denial
projection
double bind
Followed by a smear campaign on you and a Character assassination on you ... You then go from been painted white to painted black. And you can expect a hate campaign and revenge many YEARS later on.. They hold on to grudges for Years.
Peace to you Nancy ... Kind regards Brian x
Stay Narcissist free and practice self love..
> Exploits others without guilt or shame.
This is wrong. Narcissists do feel shame, but differently.
They have to change for themselves not for others spot on. Thanks
You're doing a great job dr. Fox definetly one of the best channels out there thank you for helping me change this behaviors in me and deal with others that treated me poorly too but the best is to know I can change these traits no matter how hard it is! God bless you🙏💙
I appreciate that. I’m glad you found the video helpful. Be well.
There’s so much I’d like to say, but living now without the fear that my words or tone may cause days of hell is absolute bliss.
One problem I have as a psychologist some times is differentiating between narcissists and psychopaths. Because they tend to lie and some times it's hard to say when they are lying, particularly when they know what I am looking for.
Some people seem to be able to feel an important life change with therapy, they talk about it like "waking up" but other people seem to keep lying about it, and I think that some of those that can't change may be psychopaths. A narcissist is disconnected from some sort of experiences but he or she can connect with time and effort. But psychopaths seem to be able to just learn what is expected to them, they seem to learn how manipulate people in my position.
I never talked in this terms with them but I really find them very hard to work as a collective... both, narcissists and psychopaths.
Do you ever incorporate family members, friends, or partners in sessions?? Would having the people around them help diagnose the individual?
Lol my mother was a textbook case having every trait on the list. Every day was an anxiety filled day of trying to please her anew. It never mattered what you did the day before.
I think I'm a narcissist cause I always wanted to feel special by my ex bf. I felt like he wasn't giving me enough love & attention. I went no contact for few months. I felt so alone. Now he has a new gf & it's killing me.
In my experience with dating and befriending those on the NPD spectrum, and being in therapy myself it’s my opinion that Narcs are resistant to change, don’t generally seek therapy, and lack personal insight. Power to those who seek to treat any disorder, I just personally can’t imagine (and haven’t seen) any narcs I know enter therapy.
You are so right! majority of narcs do not have a heart or feel remorse...and prefer power instead.
Out of all the videos i watched to learn more about myself and if i am truly living a narcissistic life this by far has the most powerful and direct information in it. im not sure how to make you my actual therapist but wow. thanks for all this info!
Do you prefer the "regular" DSM-5 classification of NPD or the alternative model of personality disorders in the DSM-5?
Alternative model is more comprehensive. Great question.
It has taken me some two + years to get to this point of understanding the process of getting someone to the point of treatment and what it may take in order for them to remain and progress (“with no promises include”). Thanks Dr Fox.
Sadly, if they don’t completely realize it themselves, and truly want to change, it’ll never work.
I suffer from NPD and I don’t know what to do after my ego is stroked. I fall back into the same cycles and it effects the people around me. Love this video but I need more insight. How do I stop myself from repeating the same behaviors?
Ask your doctor to refer you to a psychiatrist and ask for psychotherapy to learn more about it and develop different ways of thinking and behaviors.
keep questioning your thought patterns and break them where you can
Maybe consider that other people gave feelings? Lol 😂
All the other suggestions PLUS diving into the science of rewiring your minds. Its similar to overcoming addiction and people do that all the time in many ways. This isn't some demon spirit that you cannot get rid of....you literally have to manually override your brain and re-structure it without the fracture of childhood trauma. You can re-wire your brain BUT its really really hard.....but its worth it.
The world needs you self aware and healing SO badly. You got the first part. Throw everything you can at the second. The world and beauty of life is waiting for you!
Only one step humble ask Jesus step in I wish my husband asked like you ask you already in your way callllllll Jesus Holy Spirit humbleness
This made me think that I'm an inverted narc. The need for constant admiration, etc. I try to be nice to people all the time, but that is mainly out of a fear of rejection. Superficial admiration is addictive, but genuine interest in me as a person, makes me want to scream and run away.
It doesn’t face to stay that way. Use this insight to do things differently.
This is so insightful. I really, REALLY needed this information. Thank you Dr. Fox!
@@lioydwilliams1850 You've already posted this exact reply on another comment that I left on a different creator's video over a month ago. I've noticed that you leave responses like this to plenty of women on videos regarding emotional abuse and mental health. Stop trying to hit on women like this, especially with your copy & paste BS. It's creepy and inappropriate. I don't need or appreciate your weird comments about my physical appearance, and neither does any other woman. Thanks.
Thank you for such a beautiful, articulate and spot-on explanation. Very grateful
You’re welcome. Be well.
Will not reveal their behavior in public.
Dr Fox can you do a video describing BPD with narcissistic traits, and also maybe one explaining your observations of differences in the way BPD presents in men vs women?
Dear dr thank you very much. My bf is very complicated person with antisocial narccistic manners...
So tired of that behaivour.
I m done. Thank you once again
This was fantastic. It perfectly described a person I am trying to help as a friend. Thank you so much.
Would you consider doing a video of how to speak in narcisistic language in order to create that alliance?
Dr. Fox, my fiancé has been diagnosed with ADHD and depression for close to 30 years, and since some recent trauma involving a family members suicide and an abusive relationship is starting to exhibit textbook markers of BPD. The cycle of anger/shame, the splitting, the threats of personal harm, the emptiness... it is weighing heavy on both of us. Could you do a video for those who live with and love someone with BPD? How to self care, how to not get lost in and dragged down by his spirals... he’s trying his best, but I’m so tired. How do we find the strength to keep supporting them?
He has a lot of videos on BPD - you can search through the video lists. It's driven mainly by a fear of abandonment that can get triggered in different ways, situations or by different people. Some of the times they aren't even aware they have a fear of abandonment - it gets covered over by the splitting and them discarding others.
I wonder if narcissists recognize they are N. Anyway, also we who have "suffered" with their behavior need to look within, so we can heal the wounds that make us attract these persons. I do believe that if we attract a certain kind of people or situations is because we need to learn and to change something in us.
THE POWER OF NOT REACTING: 'Be the most severe judge of yourself and the most understanding friend to others... Train your mind to see the good in every situation.'
self awareness is the first step of recovery and unfortunately that inability is a defining factor of narcs
@@TerryGuzmanMartinez they do. My father had npd and asp im on hpd spectrum. I have some npd friends or acquaitance even if i wont consider them closes friends. the grandiose type will tell you directly they are one, the others that are recovering from therapy play the victim telling you they ara narcisssist but its not their fault.. narcisists are easily manipolating and they easily mirror people with other cluster b traits. They worst is when you are in a relationship with them or is one of your family member
@@Saritastarsseed87 😳😱😱😱
@@TerryGuzmanMartinez yeah, as a person who is "in between", not patological but with histrionic tendencies and some grade of narcisism more than average, I can see both sides, the victims and the patological ones and sort of understand them both. Even if I still dont understand how people can be in a relationship with a patological narcissist, that must be something wrong from the other side too..
So appreciative of your time and your generosity in sharing your depth of knowledge and insight. Thank you.
Wow, your description of covert was spot on of my ex! Seems like the overt does everything to try and cover their insecurities while with the covert, its more noticeable tho they don't openly admit it
My husband doesn’t sound like the description of a narc. But he most definitely abused me. I went to his mom a couple times saying he either had ptsd from war or a brain tumor bc he was yelling at me all the time, then saying I was yelling at HIM! I know now I was being gaslighted. He projected. He devalued me. And discarded me. Would breadcrumb me back, but never ever has he told me he wanted to be w me. Bc he is so above me & I am so hard to live with. When we first started counseling, I believed him. I believed something was so bad wrong w me. I tried so hard to make him happy. Then I realized, it was impossible to make him happy. He just kept taking & taking & would never do anything to try to please me... and I lived that way. Now he’s divorcing me, I know he was abusing me. But it still messes w my head that everyone around us seems to love him & hate me still. And I just feel so sorry for him for being so messed up that he has to abuse someone to survive..
Yh, not every abuser is a narcissist. Whether he is or isn't a narc, what he's doing is not excusable & none of it is your fault. I really hope you'll be able to heal.
He is doing you a huge favor by filing for divorce because when you're ready to find the right person... you'll realize what it's really like to be truly loved
Dr. Fox,
First off I just want to say how incredibly insightful, clear, and nonjudgmental your videos are. I really appreciate what you do and you inspire me to develop my own therapeutic process that is similar in those important ways. I am a fourth-year sociology student at UCSC and I've just started applying to grad schools for psychology. I am torn between PhD, PsyD, and masters programs in clinical psychology. I would like to have my own private practice eventually and specialize either in addiction or the area of personality disorders. Additionally, I am somewhat challenged because ideally, I would have hands-on internship experience by now but this has been hard due to Covid. If you have any insight it would be invaluable to me. I wondered if you have any advice or have made videos for people who watch your videos with the intent of becoming better counselors or therapists. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Thanks again.
people who say there's no change or cure to nascism, are ignoring human capacity to do good, and to develop love, deep love and respect for your self. when you do that first for yourself, you will treat other people the same way.
it is not an easy journey, but it can be achieved, a lot of inner work and intro inspections. louise hay book, you can heal your life.
this channel is a wealth of knowlege - thank you so much for these videos. You are helping me right now - a LOT !
As clinical therapist I find my self wondering do I need to make the client aware of those traits early on or not and how to approach it
I also finds that information is power and clients do prefer to hear it from the non judgmental clinician than have it thrown in their face from others when they are experiencing a narcissistic wound
I really appreciate this videos as it does makes it easier as I can share the video and help the client identify some of the maladaptive patterns
You're a sincere leader Dr. Fox.
“Aggravation instalment plan” is excellent description! 😁
I really concur with Mrkauffdog's comment below: it is good to hear someone talking about Narcissistic people, as people, and about the deep childhood wounding that underlies this adaptation. I would be interested in an explanation of why it seems that those with this condition are so justifiably spoken about in such a particularly objectifying manner. I read that narcissistic type is waxing in society - if so Dr Fox's perspective is salutary, as both people who struggle with workable personalities, and those around them who love them, need more awareness, encouragement, and most of all hope.
Thanks for your comment.
Omg the petting the kitty! I get that!
Right! It’s so true.
Thank you so much for your videos! I'm a psychotherapist and really appreciate the clinical content and conceptions for treating narcissism.
Hello I’m really uncertain with my thoughts right now, I have been told that I am narcissistic by others and now that I have more information about NPD I think I’m ready to accept that this might be me, I don’t want attention I want to make that extremely clear I just want clarity
Just tuned in. You were going at such a pace that I could not keep up or follow.
Dr. Fox, this video is really informative. I have been married to someone with BPD with narcissistic traits for more than a decade. I have been suffering tremendous emotional, psychological and mental abuse. He has threatened my loved ones, his loved ones and me. He resists therapy, turns on the therapist nastily and all this has taken a toll on my own mental health. He has absolutely no empathy despite telling him about my own self-harming and suicidal tendencies. He is self-absorbed & selfish. I am seeking an exit strategy, but am trapped. I am terrified of his anger and rageful & violent temper. He will not release me ever. I don't know know what to do. I dont think he really loves me as such anymore and just has me around like a convenience so he isnt alone. I am the one who has been and continues to walk on eggshells around him and adjust to his Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde routine. There is only so much I can take of this abuse. I see death as the only release for me Really trapped!
No! Stop it! You can get out of this! I believe in you! You will find a new job. A new home. And you will leave. Because you can get out. I know it doesnt feel like it, but thats not the point. I´ve been there. I understand that you are thinking of killing yourself and thats no foreign thought to me, but what has helped for me is trying to act as though there were a way out and working my way out of there. Its hard and more painful than suicide maybe, but I can hear in the first part of your text that you still want to life. SO. What could be bad about stopping everything that you know is harmful to you that you are doing to yourself and that you can bring yourself to do and if you start doing what you can and can bring yourself to that is good for you and that you know is good for you and start from there and stick with it consequently. Maybe your optionss seem narrow now, but think about it. Maybe there is possibly a small little chance that you might find a tiny tiny way towards a livable, full and meaningful life. and good luck
You can do it - you just have to love yourself and are rescuing someone ...YOURSELF
Make up your mind to get out and
DO IT.
I believe in you
Oh sweetheart. You are fucking trapped. You've got to Gray Rock and stop "caring" so much. You are in pain, I'd like to see you not in this pain, but another type of pain, sadness of having had to cut the cord. That will eventually pass because your worth with come to light and your life will improve and this pain will fade. If you don't get sick and tired of being sick and tired things are going to get worse. Please consider your options. Asap.
Dear An, How sad you are suffering so much, however, there is a way out and suicide is not the solution. First of all, you need to change your thinking dear. This life is not the ultimate reality and we don't have to accept that it is. There is a Heaven and a Hell. God is the archer and our lives the bow and he is aiming his arrow of truth at his mark for us. Heaven and eternal life with him who loves and created us. Yes, we cry out because it hurts to be stretched. There is evil, created by the evil one. and we have to fight with spiritual weapons, We do that through prayer and reading God's Word. Quoting scriptures out loud will go down into your spirit and grow a tree of life that will protect and provide shade when the enemy attacks. We just can't do this life by ourselves. If you keep nursing the problem instead of looking at Jesus who took the worst humanity had to offer, your life will be lived in vain and you won't be ready when you crossover at the end of your life. You see God's word teaches that the spirit is younger than the flesh. Therefore the older shall serve the younger. We are not just animals, we are body, soul, and spirit. God uses our suffering to bring glory to us, depending on how we handle it. And he is growing us up, not to destroy us but to give him the glory, he is our deliverer Read the book by Jentzen Franklin " Love Like You Have Never Been Hurt "
Please note, God will make a way of escape but you have to believe it before it will happen. Prayer and programming your spirit is the key. There is a faith teacher and healer on u tube Her name is Jenny Weaver and she is the real deal. I love her singing and teaching.
This is a very hopeful video. Even Dr Ramani who is a specialist claims NPD can't be treated
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Can you talk about how someone could heal their narcissism? Like what does treatment entail?
there is almost no content about this on the internet
I’m learned which reactions I make that are actually unhealthy. I constantly explain simple mistakes I make to my manager, I know it drains her she’s an empath and really worries about me . I’m trying to learn that it’s just okay, that I do work hard enough. That’s just one example, it’s such a quick and natural reaction , and I learned that I don’t to feel offended when people point out simple things to aren’t trying to hurt my feelings and it’s just.. it’s hard . I really don’t want to drain everyone around me .
Narcissism in essence is loving the self rather than loving God. The antidote is to first love God above all, and to then love others as oneself.
NPD and HPD can be treated, but that requires inducing a personal trauma by cutting all non-essential interactions with anyone for a relatively long time. Something that not everyone can do. (not a medical professional)
you should check out teal swan video
Havent watched yet, but self awareness makes all the difference. Most dont even realize what theyre doing, and won’t believe it when told. Unless its by a professional. Getting them to go is the problem.
Can be very challenging.
I wonder why narcissists simultaneously think they're perfect & yet are extremely insecure. Very interesting!
Their mind lies to itself. They aren’t even aware it’s happening. Some eventually realize their mind was tricking them. It’s not pretty after that.
Inconsistency in upbringing - usually immense grandiose praise for some things, followed by intense shame and anger for other things. Almost like a type of anxious avoidance.
Its a cover up, and fluctuatinf self esteem
Very interesting thank you DR. Daniel Fox. For sure treatment is all that count to cure narcissistic personality. The progress I am making is beyond believe, so happy to be re-connected with the world.
You’re welcome ☺️
Is it true that narcissists havent developed an ego and they only have a critical super ego? And if so, when they go for treatment, the therapist doesnt need to help them built an ego first?
Great video, haven't seen many in a positive direction, most about identifying, dealing, but not many on healing. Keep up the great work 👍
I viewed youtube podcast about NPD saying that an NPD has difficulty cooperating in treatment therapy because of some embarassing events in their childhood that they just couldn't deal, thus become deffensive during therapy.
That sounds about right and it’s probably why they will not be honest in therapy.
Very mindopening. This is the first time I heard a therapist discuss techniques to keep a narcissist in treatment for the longhaul.
Thanks for your comment.
It is with great embarrassment I have come to realise I am a narcissist, maybe the covert type but with the overt tinge. I think the most important thing is to say the truth, to yourself at least.
That is my hope to change, I always felt that in crucial moments I will say the truth to myself.
This is a very interesting video. I am acquainted with four people with personality disorders. I have been told they lie in order to get their needs met and try to present themselves as being healthy. Being around these people who blame everyone but themselves for their inability to maintain relationships because of their blaming behaviors, core shame, guilt and feelings of inferiority are impossible to know. Ignoring them causes a narcissistic injury so then they are vindictive and have to punish you, trying to appease them leads them to take advantage of you, and trying to help them understand their behavior makes it impossible to relate to them because they will not take responsibility for their behavior. I am going to move. Three of these people have stalked me for years, lie about me, try to destroy my reputation all in order to force me to be friends with them.
They will try everything in their power to change people perception of you tare your reputation up
The reversion to default behaviours mentioned here is the reason that compassion is not the only game in town. I believe that we all have a responsibility to not provide any reward for narcissistic behaviours- and in many cases actively punish them. There is a point where the only way that a mal-adapted person can learn is to be forced to adjust their behavioural patterns even if it causes them a lot of suffering in the short term. More generally, I think our society has lost sight of the value of such strategies in how we treat each other- we tend to think that anything approaching shame in the short term is unacceptable even if in the medium term it is resolved and results in growth. I would wager that this goes some way to explaining the increase in narcissistic traits we have seen in recent years- particularly amongst younger people who have often been raised in a hyper-compassionate way without having enough caring judgement as they grew up.
Dear James, there are things going on in this life that no one can account for. So it is reasonable to assume there must be a spiritual domain where things originate that we have little control over. These narcs were dammed by circumstances they had no control over. So should we shame and damn them also? No!!! We have to fight with spiritual weapons the evil spirit that caused the injury. Maybe if we changed our thinking and realized that God allows evil. And if this life wasn't a challenge then what reward would we have if all we did was float through life like a jellyfish, feeding, and breeding? We are on a noble quest but we have to do things Gods way. God is the archer and our lives are the bow and he is aiming his arrow of truth at his mark, not ours. And we get hurt and cry out but he just goes on stretching us. We are here to overcome in this life like Jesus did when he paid for our sin on the cross. And he loves us even though we all crucified him. You should read the book by Jentzen Franklin, Love Like You Have Never Been Hurt
P.S. It takes spiritual weapons to defeat spiritual enemies. Prayer and fasting. This life is not the ultimate reality. We can not live as though it is or we will despair and give up. Our suffering is going to bring a great victory for us when we crossover into eternity someday. We speak over our lives what God says about us not always look at what the devil is doing. God is love and God's love is in me.1 John 4:8Quoting scriptures is how we program our minds to what is the truth according to God's Word." God has placed within me a pure heart and my motives and attitude are acceptable in his sight. Jesus Christ is Lord of my life." Ezekial 36:26
@@risingspirit2229 Yes, indeed, we are body, soul and spirit. Bessel van der Kolk for example explains how trauma affects the physical body (THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE), yet the spiritual dimension is even more foundational, since God gives us not a spirit of fear, but of love power and a sound mind. Through self-control we take our thoughts captive in obedience to Christ. Romans 1 explains how we are given over to destructive thoughts and behaviour if we choose to arrogantly worship the created thing rather than The Creator (this includes fear of man that brings a snare), and if we are unthankful (bitter and resentful).
'Hyper-compassion with lack of caring judgement' is also a false message that goes out from pulpits: Only declaring God's compassion, salvation through grace, His perfect love, and mercy; this while neglecting His holiness, wrath on sin, and upcoming judgement of all according to their works.
There are parents who expect too much of their children - driving them to perform as extentions of themselves. Another problem is helicopter parenting: Too much protection, absence of socialisation amongst siblings, and lack of privation - resulting from growing up in small families. This also contributes to current youths not prepared to be strong enough to endure hardships, as well as being deficient in relationship skills.
@@maricamaas5555 Absolutely- I think it's very much a balance between the two. You need compassion and judgement. For a long time like you say things went too far into the realm of shame- but I believe we have swung too far in the other direction today
Wow excellent breakdown. Aggravation installment plan: I was the “recipient” of this. Captures it perfectly. Never heard it framed this way. Thanks for the education.🙏
Glad it was helpful!
A child that gets whatever he wants with no sacrifice will also create it.
I think I have this kind of disorder. I don't know what to do anymore. But I'll try to watch and listen to you doc. I hope I can be treat my self.
What's the difference between a narcissistic wound and a BPD split? I see little to no difference. What's the difference between the fear of abandonment and desire for glorification of oneself?
This guy bloody nails it.