Easy to find on dating sites and in common singles hangouts like bars and clubs. They are perpetually single and always looking for the next ones. No decent men want them so they always end up back on the market. If you have decent boundaries and see them for what they are early then it's easy to avoid them.
Im sorry if thats your experince 😢 for me its the straight opposite; I mean, have u met men? But I guess that's my BPD that attracts NPD men around me 😅 life is hard. So hard to find a decent one. Thank god I met my bf..❤
Agreed. It's because western society idolizes narcissism. The higher we expect people to get, and the more we exalt them for those traits the more we encourage narcissism. Right now I doubt many will argue that men are starting to pull back more, and women are being encouraged more... so we're seeing a shift in prominence.
@@goodtimesbadtimes5273 It's true. The problem with glorifying masculine over feminine traits (especially when combined with glorifying abrasive traits) is that you internalize whatever perception you've attached to that example... and let's just be honest, narcissistic abuse and males have become almost synonymous as far as many females nowadays are concerned. Combine that with the fact that the narcissist actually represents the pinnacle of American idealism right now in many ways, and the common drive in most females to define worth through relationships (friends, family, romantic, etc) it's just the ideal situation for breading narcissists and borderlines (many borderlines often being eventual offshoots of narcissistic abuse... and those numbers are increasing too, and not surprisingly especially on the male side). Of coarse some of this is just gender bias. We spent so long saying women can't be abusive and men can't be emotional that now we're starting to open our eyes to the facts that they can with less bias and it's really flipping our perception on what we thought we knew... So some of this is just backlog from psychology taking forever to catch up (hence self help and blog psychology becoming more popular) and the fact that science has always been and will always be as bias as the minds that use it to explore.
I completely agree. I dated a young women and couldn’t work out what the hell was going wrong. Went to a counsellor and she pointed it out. Fragile/vulnerable/covert Narc/BPD. This girl embody a number of traits from those disorders. It’s such a mindf&@k. Talk about a painful experience. NEVER again! I still carry alot of the pain 2 years after.
This dame living next door to me has NPD and no I’m not a professional but I’ve been around the mountain and few times and she’s like Pepe lepew I’m steady running protecting my peace and energy I absolutely hate this!!!
My ex is part of a survivor narcissist abuse group. She has all 7 traits and convinced my all along it was me.. I had to get professional help thinking what I 'did' to that girl, while I was being the abused all along.
Mom was a narc with overlap with other cluster b disorders. She played the victim at the expense of her children. I literally left home at 14 years old (home life was horrible), no money and no support while she smeared me to other family members. I grew up rough in a hood in LA. I later developed my own issues (BPD/PTSD). After years of my own dysregulation I got my butt into therapy and I'm not that person anymore. ❤
I'm so sorry. As a 30 year veteran high school teacher, I taught that kid [you] many times and the courage and the integrity of these survivors always blew me away. Be proud for not letting someone else's wounds define who you are for the rest of your life.
Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims. NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's. However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you. They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!! Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com.
Wow! This is my ex partner to a tea she ended up in psychoatric ward in perth narcissist and alcoholism go together I don't understand how someone can have no emphty
This was super helpful (and scary) because this is my new Gf to a T. My intuition said run but her beauty and smile made me feel I could help her through her trauma. Very naive approach and she is like a cancer to my happiness. Got to let her go. This was the icing on the cake.
The rules of female narcissists. 1. Thou shalt not upstage me. 2. What's yours is mine. 3. Thou shalt not be cooler than I am. 4. Give me your money. 5. Fidelity is subjective.
1) Appearances, need for attention, tendency for jealousy 2) seduction- done for a selective person, difficulty apologising when found guilty 3) Confidence- feel good when others are beneath them, belittling others, poor insight into their behaviour 4) Money means more power and controlling others, flashy ways of spending money 5) Infidelity- Putting everything on others, always seeking for higher status or seeking higher status partners. Higher tendency to cheat. 6) Parenting- Often they pick a favourite child and direct their attention to that child, other children are left out. 7) Competition- unhealthy way of making competition central. Unwillingness to admit to one’s mistakes. Please watch the video for details.
Appreciate the summary. "Poor insight into their own behaviour" is one I've noticed increasingly so in time. The oblivious nature of narcissism - almost autopilot and simply incapable of compassion without pretty extreme rifts in ego likely from psychedelics or extreme life changing tragedy, etc. Breaking ground in the ego veil.
I think a lot of female narcissists enter the mental health field. I honestly believe my last therapist was one. I confronted her about something and her response was to make serious accusations against a deceased family member. After she saw my initial shock she then asked me how much longer I was keeping it a secret. So that was her way of exerting power over me. All I can say is if you must see a therapist to trust your gut. If they get defensive over conflict in a therapy setting then it's time to fire them. It's pretty ridiculous.
Totally agree....women in the work place in general just go OFF with power trippin tirades. Men in positions of power can do it too, but in my experience, women are way worse.
I got out of a marriage w a narcissist wife 1.5 yrs ago, this video explains her perfectly. I’d rather be single than w a woman like this. I am free and won’t be so naive next time I meet a woman I want to pursue... thanks to her, I’m in NO rush. God bless y’all!
Both of my parents were narcissistic, though my father was more narcissistic than my mother. Both were emotionally distant and cold and neither provided me with the love and support every child deserves, which has had a devastating effect on me. Here's my takeaway: People who love you do not intentionally hurt you and people who intentionally hurt you do not love you. I don't think narcissists know how to love other people, or is it that they just don't care to? Either way, they are harmful destructive people whose number one concern is themself.
I'm so sorry you suffered. I went through the same. They took away our right to have a beautiful life. I'm doing my best to heal and make my life beautiful
I don't believe they know how.they most likely mimic what they learned at home.so how do you learn how to be .is it a God given gift? They weren't blessed with.
I was married for 15 years to a woman with hystrionic personality disorder. It practically destroyed me and our kids. The whole thing was a nightmarish and exhausting facade. Still today, she cannot begin to see where the issues were, and she's displaying the very same baheviors with other people (including the kids). I do not see a single millimeter of progress. I often compare it to a bucket with holes at the bottom--no matter how hard you work and how many times you put energy into refilling it, it just leaks out very quickly and it's an endless cycle that just repeats. Theye are, very literally, emotional energy vampires, and never stop until you get the hell out.
A female narcissist will ruin your life. Even a brief relationship with one of these people can cause years of subsequent ruination. I cannot adequately express how dangerous to your life they are. I've seen an ex of mine afterwards go from man to man systematically destroying every one of them. And there is no solution, you will find yourself in constant stalemate. As beautiful as they often are you simply have to get as far away from them as possible and sever all ties. And even then, I can only liken a relationship with them as being like a tornado ripping through a town, leaving nothing but destruction behind it.
Man I just broke up with mine. He Bess losing my mind trying to get through to her. It was hopeless and stressful. Great advice. I just got caught up in her beauty for too long. I’m glad I finally figured out it wasn’t me all this time . Man talk about a huge weight off my soul once I finally gave up on trying!
@@MoralKombato Yes, when children are involved it makes matters more difficult. But it should also remembered, narcisstic mothers do a lot of damage to children also.
I was in a relationship like this for one year and I still struggle! I can’t imagine going through this nonsense for 22 years. My goodness! I’m glad you got out! It was the most heartbreaking experience I have ever been in.
Same here… 20years thrown away simply because I got sober and had a clear mind again. Out of 3 children that have my last name… only my oldest has my DNA… that’s what took my soul from me. Once my youngest is 18 there’s going to be an extremely hard discussion about what really happened. With some luck the ex will be cooperative at least.
@@dennisassini-pw2ic I didn't want my two daughters to turn out to be like their mom. Three years straight of college without passing a single class or working a job. My children deserved better.
It took me 6 years to catch my narcissistic wife. Of course, I didn’t know she was a narcissist back then. I didn’t even know what narcissism was. A part of me always knew that she wasn’t faithful to me. It was just that whenever I voiced my concerns or asked for some reassurance, there was hell to pay. She put me through a mental gauntlet of feigned outrage, moral indignation, gaslighting, and flipping reality on its head in order to make me the bad guy. She repeatedly set what little progress I had made in trying to have a good relationship with her, back to square one. She exploited my deepest desires-to have a good marriage and to keep our family together, by always keeping one foot out the door and threatening to leave. So, I learned to carefully pick my battles…. and worse. I learned to put the blinders on and to pretend that she wasn’t up to no good. I also learned to convince myself that I was the problem. And then one day, while she was at work, I decided to clean out the car. She had a nasty habit of treating the backseat like a dumpster. As I stuffed empty wrappers, bottles, and cups into a trash bag, I found an envelope with her name on it. Thinking it might be important, I decided to look at its contents before I threw it away. It was a letter from some guy who was clearly in love with her. He expressed how he wanted more from her than their secret rendezvous. There was no mistaking what he meant. Even though my heart was crushed, I regained my power in the very next moment. I drove to where she worked, and I angrily approached her. Her eyes fell on the letter in my hand, and her shoulders slumped in silent defeat. She quietly said, “I can’t talk right now, but I’ll be home in an hour.” “Good!” I replied. “I’ll be waiting!” Then I turned on my heel and stormed out the door. Now that the cat was out of the bag, she admitted the entire affair-including all the places where they would meet up. As difficult as that was to hear, I stood by, ready to forgive her. I was well-practiced in starting over from square one, and I eagerly waited for the opportunity to roll up my sleeves and to get to work. But she played the wounded victim as convincingly as Amber Heard, and she asked me to wait for two days while she decided what she should do. Of course, I said yes. Even though I had been married to her for 14 years, I still had no idea what I was dealing with. In the midst of that painful discussion, she was plotting her next move. It turned out that she needed two days to think because that’s when her boyfriend would return from his business trip. She wanted to be in a relationship with him, but when he refused to leave his wife for her, she decided to stay married to me. Of course, I didn’t know any of this at the time. I only knew that after two days, she decided to stay. Being the eternal optimist that I am, I saw this as an opportunity for a brand new start, and I convinced myself that we were finally going to have a good marriage. But she didn’t share my optimism, and it was obvious that her heart wasn’t in her decision to stay. We suffered together for another 2 weeks when she blamed me for her affair. That’s when I finally threw in the towel. We divorced on friendly terms, and we made all our own arrangements for custody and child support. We only needed a lawyer to draft and file the appropriate documents. The laws have changed since those days, and you can’t do that kind of stuff anymore. Anyway, during our many conversations to dissolve our marriage, she admitted lots of things that I didn’t know about-including the fact that she was never faithful to me. If I had understood narcissism back then, I would have handled things differently. I wouldn’t have put up with her mental abuse, and I would have left her years earlier. Additionally, There are many ways to f!nd out what someone is hiding from you in their phones. These several ways only need the ass!stance of someone who has the knowledge $py!ng and can hàck into phónes and social media. For hélp, contact Metaspyhub@gmail. com for ass!stance.
What a terrible and misleading way to attract customers with your sad story. Shame on you. Trying to prey on men who are having a hard time in their relationship. Don't be fooled guys.
Thank you for writing this man. It is unbelievable the hell this situation is. They always try to frame you as the bad guy, and I didn’t see what she was doing until I fixed everything toxic with me, not knowing she was feeding into it the whole time. They pray and actively contribute to your failures; the only way to win is to learn from your failures
@@planeetpaulwow this is incredible, I even wrote up a reply and everything. There really are a lot of people praying on defeated men these days it’s sick. This is another reason why these women and people in general get away with this
@@DrDanielFox You have a scammer who made an email with your name in the comments of nearly every person on here. I tried reporting. But thought you might want to block them from your channel.
@@DrDanielFox People like you should really speak out against Anime and Manga, especially those which promote Narcissists like Asuka Langley Soryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Seriously entire generations of youth, teens and other people are being brainwashed into either becoming Narcissists, condoning Narcissists and falling victim to Narcissists.
I was one. Then I dated a male model narcissist who became a mirror for all my narcissistic insecure toxic traits, painful to recognize. But then realized everything u put out comes back around. Talk about cycles…thank you for the insights ❤︎
Hello, I appreciate your honesty and openness to admitting this, in your way you are apologizing and teaching yourself a new pattern and way of living at your most version of yourself than the direction of rock bottom. Thank you, God Bless, Rob
You probably were not. You may had some of the traits but not a 'full' narcissist. Continue bettering yourself and working on you flaws , admitting them is the first step of healing . Much love to you
Self awareness is definitely possible for people with cluster b traits. I believe that and I believe that some can go on to be and feel so much better. ❤
You've described my wife. One thing you didn't mention was "friends".. my narcissistic wife replaces me (and her former husband's) with her friends. She gives them priority and place and value above a husband.. then when confronted.. she deflects and gaslights..
Be careful and don’t make accusations before you fully evaluate yourself. Are there things you are genuinely doing wrong in the relationship? Drop the ego and seriously evaluate yourself. I wish I did many times before.
I dated one of these ladies once. She was extremely manipulative, conniving, obsessed with her hair. One day years later, it dawned on me that she cheated on me with her ex husband. God she had me so snowed. I wish that we taught psychology in school. It's about a billion times more useful than algebra or history.
The thing is, if they taught psychology in schools, it wouldn’t take long for many students to identify narcs and etc in the teachers. In retrospect, I know many of my female teachers were very troubled. Humiliating the students, abusing. My history teacher - interestingly, never married , and she was in her 40s - once banned me from her class for two weeks because I was cracking jokes with my friend during the break. And did not allow me back until I apologised for literally doing nothing wrong.
@@intrepidsouls That's exactly the point. Our society has zero structure to account for mental illness and psych damage. The most amazing thing to me was to grow to realize that narcissists, bullies, and other crazies are frequently REWARDED by society for their disease. Think about it: America elected Trump. A man who literally paints himself orange who isn't fit to run a lemonade stand. Madness.
I’m glad I’ve managed to see these signs early. I’d already ignored a few signs but then I had a completely honest, open conversation about how a few things that had happened had made me feel - I wasn’t accusing, I wasn’t asking for an apology, I was merely saying how I felt and was happy to be given some reassurance and told that it wasn’t the reality of the situation. What I got instead was her gaslighting me and basically invalidating my feelings, and telling me she was pissed off at me and eventually blanking me. That is an absolute deal breaker straight away, if you can’t bring your feelings up without being made to feel like you’re the one being completely unreasonable. Trademark narcissism and she wasn’t going to get away with that and think she could have that power over me. Ended things the next day
I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through such a difficult situation. It's important to prioritize your own feelings and well-being in any relationship.
it atleast knocks out 70% of of nasty women honestly. Once she has a good relationship with her father and isn't on social media or atleast does not post erotic photos etc, chances are she's somewhat decent. There are other things tho, but a good start is her social media and who she follows and then her relationship with her father, best start.
As a female, I have experienced the worst behaviors from female narcissist that unfortunately "slid under my radar" as " friends. Released them when I realized they responded negatively to my boundaries. They try to seduce other females also.. They are really very sly , jealous and deceptive.
The word "boundaries" has really slipped in to mainstream conversation lately. It's fine but i think people don't use the term correctly, especially narcissists. They use it selectively to control other people, not consistently as an actual boundary, because they don't care about the so called boundary they care about control and power.
They will hurt you. So bad!😢 I loved her as my friend, my confident, loved her. She broke my heart. People warned me. I was just so lonely! Moved did not know anyone.
@@cho4dI had a narcissistic female coworker. She blew up on me. Got very defensive as after I let her know that her humming bothers me. We work 2 ft away from each other. There seemed to have already been reactive abuse going on before this. I now see it all. You called it out. The term boundary is not being used correctly. This person tried to set a "boundary" with me by physically using the word boundary they said" I'm going to set a boundary with you. You don't like when The music changes. You don't like when I bring my radio in" I have been so accommodating of you. Meanwhile I've worked here 7 years and the radio's been on for all the 7 years and hasn't been changed. Oh this feels really good. This person tried to set a boundary without actually talking with me about something that bothered them. This could be my own wound where where I am working on speaking my own needs as well. This narcissist taught me to speak my needs, do not allow someone to walk all over you, and to learn how to set my own expectations for a relationship. I now know how to set boundaries within myself and with my work. This has been truly a healing journey. I worked with this person for a year and a half they came in greenhorn knew nothing about the The education it takes to be in in a position. This person did not know how to be responsible for their own mistakes. They did not know how to apologize. And when I asked about the defensive behavior and I asked if we could talk about it. They said " You're doing it again" and that showed me that this person lacks complete self-awareness. This person is emotionally immature. And does not know how to do their job. Female narcissist in the workplace as a coworker are dangerous. They are a ticking Time bomb. Their tantrums trying to get you to emotionally react. This is pure narcissistic supply. Watch your back in the workplace. I'm happy I've learned this in my early twenties
I notice that too and I'm a female. I agree the female narc are just hellish as they could be. I have them in my family and damn, they don't know how and where to stop. Biggest whores ever and I mean it.
The female narcissist i knew cheated on her husband and made 3 kids with her affair partners. Once the husband found out and asked for a divorce she contested it for 3 years. I asked her "why did she contest the divorce?" She said " "he married me so he was supposed to forgive those things "
They love having raw revenge sex. The excitement of who is the daddy gets their heart pumping. They literally have no clue and will have sex with multiple men on the same day. Everyone gets a taste of her melting pot of germs. Witches brew 😅😅😅
Sounds like my MIL. She left my FIL for another man, and says it’s ok that she cheated because he didn’t give her enough attention. I could go on and on but basically she’s the most narcissistic person I know 😵💫
Social media is FILLED with female "narcissist." Everything from tik tok videos, to being on fb live just looking into the camera while playing with her hair.
I don’t think you can diagnose someone just because they put themselves out there online, or even enjoy getting attention for their appearance. The lack of empathy and willingness to step on others to get that attention is still key.
@@larad9180 ❤️When did I diagnose someone? I made a comment. Narcissism is nothing more than pride. This behavior has been around WAY before it was called narcissist by someone. It's not so much about them and a lack of empathy, but more their lack of love (which then produces a lack of empathy, care, patience, peace, gentleness, etc... That love is usually hindered by a fear within them (whether fear of rejection, loneliness, failure, etc...). Many prideful or emotionally broken people use social media to manage their brokenness or love of self. A person that makes online videos ALL day long just looking into the camera posing, or revealing their body, or trying to be pretty all day long online is a person that is a lover of self (Again, also pride, which is tied to "Narcissism"). There is a verse in God's Word that explains these excessive behaviors we are seeing today within people (2nd Timothy Chpt 3 Verses 1-5)
@@DrDanielFox People like you should really speak out against Anime and Manga, especially those which promote Narcissists like Asuka Langley Soryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Seriously entire generations of youth, teens and other people are being brainwashed into either becoming Narcissists, condoning Narcissists and falling victim to Narcissists.
Online life reveals the worst of late-stage capitalism. It's stripped down to its essentials. Narcissism is also essential to capitalism (see what I did there ;). Read Marx, and don't over-think it.
SPOT ON! That’s how my marriage of 22 years ended in divorce last year. I retired from the Army seven years previously and hadn’t been deployed since 2011. The “Queen” didn’t like me in her domain and manipulated our two older daughters against me. It was a no-fault divorce that she wanted after I stopped feeding her ego in exchange for compromising on my leadership role in the family. She would think she forgot she married a Soldier instead of a pushover. She destroyed our family.
Stupid American, glorifying soldiers that kill people. Your country's military has murdered millions of innocent people in order to enforce the policies of the rich and powerful. Thanks for your service my arse!
I find that female narcissists hold a certain resentment towards men and society as a whole because they understand the halo effect and that if they are conventionally beautiful, men and society as a whole will celebrate them. I would say it's very easy to fall into their trap because of this - and there are probably people who fall for them who are very shallow, and they use the shallow nature of the person who fell for them to justify their abuse. I know that's sick but I find that to be true.
Pretty sure i am attracted to female narcissists. The relationship i had before my current relationship, she met all the criteria to a very high degree. I paid a significant price when i left that relationship. She had no problem taking that as a personal injury to herself, and she did wildly unacceptable, illegal things in an attempt to ruin my life. It took me two years to start to see something was wrong. After three years, one day i was reading about what was dysfunctional with our relationship, when i came across literature on npd. Reading that, it hit me like a brick, sent chills down my spine... Every single descriptor i was reading, i had numerous, SEVERE, examples that lined up with them. She was, and is, EXTREMELY dangerous. The law, social norms, rules, they meant nothing to her if you happened to not fit into her idea of how things should be. Revenge porn, breaking and entering, destruction of property, slander, gas lighting, getting a 911 call i made on my birthday, in order to save me from her after she had ran me over physically attacked me and shot her pistol at me, reversed to where the police, on my birthday in a place special to me, wound up arresting me and putting me in jail... I still havent recovered from that relationship. I thought at first she was my soul mate, and i was going to live happily ever after. At the end if it, i realized that what i thought was my soul mate was actually something that wasnt even real. It was all a lie. All of it was constructed. So at the end of it, i lost two people. The imaginary woman I loved wholeheartedly, and the woman I was with for 4 years. I know, with no doubt, that she was not just narcissistic, she had SEVERE npd. And by god, she could convince anybody, even therapists, that she was nothing of the sort. If i tried to get someone to see how evil and fucked up she was, how dangerous she was, it always wound up with me looking like the crazy person. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS. Nobody... I try to explain what i went through, everybody seems to think they have a similar experience. I dont think any of them do... Its very... hard to cope with it all. I lost so much, yet it never even was mine. It didnt exist. Fuck!
😢 Sorry for your experience... Sounds like mine. You may want to work on becoming securely attached. You will learn a lot & avoid attracting these people. Blessings of Love & Protection!
So sorry for all you went through. These experiences are so f**** up that only people who also had a relationship with a NPD (or a BPD) can understand it. I hope you find yourself, and someone who deserves you. Therapy is also extremely important to heal from all this mind f****.
You, my friend, have encountered an apex predator. You should feel fortunate to be alive after your experience. I don't believe you have a specific skill attracting them. Like a burglar, they case everyone. You just happened to leave keys in the ignition.
My mother a narcissist. I had to sever the relationship. We suffered as children from her ill ness. All these traits were spot on ,her personality. Thank you for validation.
I'm sorry but narcissism isn't an illness. At least until today it hasn't been medically admitted as such. So it's basically a choice to being an awful person. Of course there's an origin to every story, we're all a result of our childhood. I sincerely feel for you. A narcissistic parent is hell.
@@danieru911 I do realize it's not an illness. Yet it is a mental disorder, personality disorder,which all stems from a mental illness. I lived,as well as my siblings did daily,and my father. All my siblings are deceased now,as well as my father. And I blame my mother's mental illness,as narssasism being one of the major factors in her mental illness.
@@danieru911 as far as i understand its a terminal illness. Meaning there's no cure for them. Can it be learned or its hereditary? Parts yes and some can be hereditary. Ultimately though yes, they are choosing to be a horrible person
This is 100% on point. So sad listening to this as it all rings true. I know a female Narcissist from childhood and have seen her mother raise her as her own NPD projection. She's now a full fledged Narcissist. I remember when all this was budding and there was potential for change. Her older sister was marginalized as she didn't get all the attention.
Yep, seen it in my girlfriend. When I met first met my girlfriend, her mother was not in the picture, but later she was. I saw my girlfriend going from a real person to a TRUE Narcissist, just like her mother. I had to end this relationship with her, as she competed with and out me down constantly. I miss our getting together.......but, my ego could go NO lower. she told me I was ugly, when I'm really not. I believed her lies, and knew I had to break away from her negativity on me. She can live in here little World, all by herself. Now, her daughter needs to figure it all out because she was always putting her down too. So destructive are these people. I have had so many in my life, including both male and female......and, I am afraid of even letting anyone in my life anymore. I didn't know what it was, but because of watching these types of videos, I now realize my life was FULL of them. NO MORE!
I am going through a separation, and this video has opened my eyes to the possibility my wife may be narcissistic. She spends money without remorse, regardless of whether it hurts our family so she can feel better. She always tells me she needs to be treated like a queen. In any argument, she can never face the responsibility of her actions and instead focuses on circling back to me in any way possible to get the fault to shift. The anger always goes to me, never to herself and her actions. She may occasionally own up, but it can take quite some time. She also sees any attempt at me to control our spending or living humbly at me trying to control her. She wants her freedom she has told me. She also always needs space which to me is a substitute for saying she wants to do what she wants to do when she wants to. She would always yell at me or put me down, and then when i would get angry it was my fault every time. Some arguments were really intense. The only way to diffuse anything was not by talking about it, but giving her a long time and space. Towards the end, she was abusive, mean and callous. When I would get upset to point this out, she would say I was the abusive one. Basically, it almost seemed like what she was telling me I was, was exactly how she was acting. Stress seemed to be a big catalyst, and in addition she was diagnosed with moderate to severe anxiety. Not sure if that couples with these traits. It was always her emotions over any logic or facts. It NEVER mattered what the reality was, only her feelings. I tried to listen to her feelings but they were usually so off base. My side is I shut down, stopped caring, stooped to her level. This is when she left. I feel bad for going that way, but once she didn’t find me useful she left. One month later she was dating another man. Got to get that supply. I filed for divorce even though she wanted it. I was done. I tried to make it work, but when they try to control you and won’t change and it affects the family, that is when I set my foot down. She didn’t care to change, so probably was for the best. 😔
@@devinaxtman6171 Let her go... I just told my ex last night to never ever text me again. It was the same story with her. It was all about her feelings. Could never put herself in my shoes and see what she did to hurt me. She does no wrong. Tries to make you apologize for something you didn't even do. Won't listen to your side of the story. 4 yrs down the drain for me over in the blink of an eye. You think you have a strong bond with someone until she finds something she doesn't like, takes everything out of context, makes up a fantasy story as to what happened, and nothing you can show her do or say can change her mind. It is scary. Then you try to speak to her as if she was a rational logical person but she isn't. I'm sorry you are going through this and I know it's hard to be with someone that long and have it all fall apart. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. Remember that and know that it's for the best.
This was me two months ago before she took everything in our house n shifted to another house with our three kids.. Am starting from zero with nothing.. God pliz intervene
I don't think people attribute the title ' Narcissist ' to just men anymore. I'm sure anyone who knows what it means knows that there're just as many women who are too Thanks for the video 🙏
Yeah I always felt more the other way...primarily women, though I know it's not necessarily the case. Probably because my mom and grandma are and so many people I know have narcissistic mothers...
We've known that for years, but it's just starting to become official in psychology circles. That being said, we live in a society that elevates women to unhealthy degrees in which they are often beyond reproach unless linked with something deemed undeniably evil (like narcissism) or countermanded by something held as superior to them (like science is often held as). So it's only now that we are starting to accept as a society that women can be just as destructive as men (and in fact, because of that protection, actually more destructive quite frequently). BTW, not hating on women here... I was just raised by a highly narcissistic mother that did so much damage that I'm the only one to make a full recovery (after 30 years of hard work and almost dying 10 times, starting with my first suicide attempt at age 5 and literally dying of a broken heart by age 20). It's super destructive, and we protect it far too often and unconditionally (we just don't protect male narcissists nearly as much).
And even relaying your experiences and what you have observed like many other men the protective words of I’m not talking negative about women has to be put in comments I notice. Whereas when the conversation is in maladaptive men there is no such I’m not talking bad about men statements. Goes to show the level of protection they are given in micro ways.
Geez, you clearly outlined I recently dodged a bullet. Never any empathy, validation, kind words, compliments, encouragement and most blatant, the absence of apologizing.
@@DrDanielFox People like you should really speak out against Anime and Manga, especially those which promote Narcissists like Asuka Langley Soryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Seriously entire generations of youth, teens and other people are being brainwashed into either becoming Narcissists, condoning Narcissists and falling victim to Narcissists.
I also have been abused by a girl who i met in a shelter we spent all day every day together but she stayed with other guys in the shelter, younger bad boys nothing worked out always came back to me , to get to the point ,i always told her how pretty she was, sexy, kind, always giving her confidence, but I was publicly put down called loser,ideot,liar can't do anything right, ect.other victim's no what I mean...
@@AffectionateDominoes-wn6iddude that’s female nature …women like bad boys who treats them bad…they are emotional roller coaster freaks …try this act like a bad boy once when u c a beautiful woman and observe how they’ll bite to ur new masked persona 😅
I genuinely think my mom is a narcissist or at least highly narcissistic. She fits so much of the behaviors, and is very toxic, but has never tried to get help.
I have a friend who is accomplished academically, she is always pointing it out and makes little comments about how more people need education, then will criticize others for what they're doing in life job or hobby wise. As of she has all the answers, she is really above us all.. That's just one of these traits I notice. But if you spend enough time with these people you will realize it's all a competition and that's all it ever was.
As Dr. Ramani has said, these labels like 'narcissist' or 'sociopath' don't really matter so much these days as it's the abusive mechanisms that are used by people with these antisocial personality disorders that we must watch out for! Whether or not someone is or is not a 'narcissist' is almost irrelevant! NAMBRO = Narcissistic Abuse Must Be Rightfully OUTLAWED!
I was diagnosed 2012 with BPD, and just about everything I this video I could apply to my personal circumstances, after decades of rejection and complete separation from my mother I finally feel differently now, worked through so much, an on going lifestyle choice of healing. Thank you for sharing this Information 🙏 ❤
This is like me but mines is not about me always being right etc.I am now in therapy and progress not perfection. It is hard but I'm also learning how to do things the right way through aa a 12 step programme . Have also learned that the traits need to b consistent to b diagnosed. I have bpd. I owned my side of things xx
Shame social media encourages narcissism. Seems we’re at an all time high. Edit: thanks for the video. I wasn’t sure for a long time if I had two narcissistic parents but I’m now almost certain that my mother simply had adhd and a chaotic life that was almost always spinning her out. Good to know I can fix and maintain a relationship with her and I only need to cut out my father to find happiness.
My mother always blamed her failures on my sisters and I. I finally realized she was a bit off in my early teens. My sisters are in denial about her disorder
Nothing like walking into a workplace as a beautiful quiet humble soul and running into this type no matter the way you turn. It’s crazy. It’s promoted. This sickness. Psychopaths.
@@ar-ry7bo I want to guess your field! I’m an RN and it’s making me very ill. I feel completely exploited by these facilities and work alongside the most evil.
I've never read Yertle the Turtle, but I feel like I want to send it to my momster on her birthday. She had a face-lift and tummy tuck at 50 and has been a constant shopper for the most trendy, beautiful clothes she could afford. She had to move house every couple of years, upgrading along the way. It's never enough for her...never good enough. She was never a cheater, as she was raised during a time when being a loose woman was looked down upon as low status. She was a child abuser, psychologically, physically, and financially. She was a spousal manipulator and financial abuser, and when one of her husbands wouldn't buy her a bigger home, she would divorce them. She did this twice. She tried to turn my oldest sister into a perfect child, but my oldest sister ended up with BPD instead. She scapegoated the next child, my older brother. The 3rd child, my older sister, shows more covert traits, even in her early 60s. She is also a financial abuser and has enmeshed her youngest daughter, living with her and mooching financially off her and her husband. I've cut contact with all of them. I don't wish them any harm, but I don't want to spend a single moment with any of them. It's too toxic for me, and it always has been. If I had a dollar for every time she told me I didn't need to go to college because "beautiful young women marry wealthy men" I would have been a very wealthy young woman. I really can't stand her. She sickens me. Oh, and she's a closet racist...because it serves her delusions of being superior to others. She's so ignorant it's not even embarrassing, it's funny. As a young child, I always identified my mother with the Evil Queen in Snow White and Cinderella's evil, abusive Step Mother. As a teenager, I counted the days until I was 18 and could get away from her. For most of her life, she was nothing more than a succubus, draining men of all their money and vitality until they died. My own father died from a heart attack at 50. She divorced her 2nd husband for not buying her a new house, and for prioritizing his own children instead of putting her first (her ego couldn't handle the fact that he loved his own children, too....and he always treated me with kindness and respect). Her third husband she divorced because as he was at the bank, about to sign the loan for yet another larger, more prestigious home, he backed away from the table and said he did not want to move. A month later she divorced him, saying it was the most embarrassing experience of her life (and it was not...that was another one of her exaggerations). She continued to have a relationship with him after the divorce because she was aging an unable to attract the same number of men she could when she first married him, and it was financially lucrative for her to associate with him. She found him dead one day, in his sleep, of a heart attack. She just sucks the life energy out of men, until their hearts cannot take it anymore. She's like a serial killer but instead of torturing people sexually and discarding their body along the roadside like trash, she kills people financially and emotionally sucks the life out of them. Had she NOT divorced him for not buying her a bigger house, she would've inherited all his money and his military retirement as a Retired Colonel in the Air Force, but his children got it all instead, leaving her with nothing. No idea whose life she is destroying now, as I cut all contact with her in 2004. Her parents truly destroyed her, her twin brother, and her older 8-year-old brother as young children. They, very sadly, didn't stand a chance of not becoming walking personality disorders after what both of their parents did to them as young children. That is the truth and the most heartbreaking aspect of her life.
I consider myself unattractive but I have a nice little spirit on me and there have been times I've been around female narcissists who are considered conventionally beautiful and their brain literally seems to have a circut break if I get attention. ANY attention. It's really intense. There have been times someone has flirted with me and they just cannot handle it. I feel sad for them because they aren't authentic people and a lot of the people who may be interested in me are seeking that authenticity. They put so much work into manipulating people and getting their way that when they see someone who naturally has a power of attraction without fitting into the standards they work their lives to fit into, it really kills them inside. I used to make myself look even worse around them so they wouldn't be threatened - but that just makes them worse & that was wrong of me. I deserve to live my life as I am and not lower myself so other people are even more comfortable. I have a lot of shame for the years I did that. It's not fair to myself or to God
You have depth, I'm an ok looking guy and believe me i will be looking for you and actively ignoring the female narcissists who expect me to give them attention, I won't eve acknowledge them now. It enrages them and I sense thst but don't care. Its about genuine attraction and depth, the things they lack so need to interrupt it.
You are spot on. I have seen the behaviour you described: actually i have seen where a couple is made the target of mocking abuse because the connection between the two was so despicable to the narc women. Ha, i literally made crucifix fingers at a woman one night and told her not to look at me lol... Talking to the groups tallest woman had made her show her horns. That tall chick was so fine though lol.
Thank you for this very helpful video on female narcissistic traits. My mother was a narcissist. Your video helps me to better understand her relationships with me, her third son, my two older brothers, my younger sister, and my father. I appreciate your comments on money as it helps me understand why my father was so controlling of the family budget. He understood her spending habits, and tried to control them (quite successfully, it turned out). I appreciate your explanation of using her children, and the superficiality of the mother-child relationship. Being the Lost Child, I always thought it was my fault. Whew! And the promises made to the oldest son (the Golden Child) were, of course, never fulfilled. By discussing her ambition for recognition, you seem to predict the narcissist's way of achieving success in a few restricted areas of her life. My mother certainly did. She was labelled a "saint" by her long-term pastor when she passed away. It has made me question the whole category we call "sainthood." How many other evil narcissistic fakes do we honor as "saints?"
This is absolutely on point I was in a narcissistic relationship for 16 years..I’ve been discarded for the 5 th time .. she wanted more and more.. she hits almost all points.. I’m struggling with this..
I've been through it. 20-year marriage. Most painful thing I've been through. It takes time but you will heal if you give yourself the time. Main thing is to wise up, recognize the signs and never make that mistake again.
Thank You Dr. Fox . I have been dealing with this for decades now. It is very hurtful & damaging. I feel sad because my mother & sister have teamed up against me. There are 6 girls. I am thin like my dad was. I look more like my dad. I was happy and just enjoying life. My mother & sister are very close. Sister is spoiled. I get complimented for being pretty ever since we were kids. The other sisters & this one particular sister were overlooked. She & my mother have made my life a living nightmare. They once drove me to the deepest depression. Every accomplishment was dismissed. Every compliment for me was met with hostility. Both spread lies & rumors about me to this day. I was a minister. I became ill & could not be in the ministry anymore. My mom & sister spread vicious stories that were not true. My sister & mother persecuted me when I was a minister. Then my sister became a minister. She gloated & pummeled me from the Scriptures. She looks down on me and insults me because she is now a minister. I did not become a minister for glory like they kept saying about me. I was not being an attention seeker like they said. My sister is the one acting like the " Scribes & Pharisees". I had to go no contact because her & my mom's insults became too hurtful. Now she & my mom are obese and I am not. They attacked me about that by saying I'm " shallow & superficial". They are both hateful & have always been in a competition against me. I know I have not done anything to deserve this. I am not perfect because sometimes, I push back. They are vicious and enjoy treating me like this. EVERYTHING is a competition. I was not competing with them. They kept accusing me of it. They're happy to see I get sad when they act like the " mean girls" in high school.Thank You..I feel better after watching your video. I can see what was happening clearly.
It's very interesting - it's a textbook description of my sister. I've often wonder whether there's also an overlap with things like oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder. My grandmother warned my parents when she was very young that they'd have terrible trouble with her - she quite literally told my parents that my sister 'would always go where the grass was greener!' As a teen, she stole money from myself and my parents and the police became involved when it transpired that she had taken my parents' ATM card and withdrawn money on numerous occasions. She latched on to a man in her later teens with money and married him - We later found out that he was a drug dealer and that she'd also been syphoning money out of him. They divorced when she found someone else who had more money, and he found out she was cheating on him (not for the first time). Since then, she became very successful in MLM, an industry I believe is notorious for being a magnet for narcissists. She is now almost 50 and has had plastic surgery on numerous occasions. I feel very sorry for her children - they're all essentially objects that she uses for attention for herself. Interestingly, her two youngest children have been diagnosed with ADHD. My parents said the youngest child reminded them very much of my sister. They found her going through their luggage, looking for something to take. When my parents challenged her, she became aggressive and unpleasant. Does make you wonder how much of a generic element there is.
Is your mother a similar way? Because I don't feel it's genetics so much as it is mother's passing narc traits down to daughters (common) and sons . But yeah it can totally overlap with things like ODD and other diagnoses.
@@hotfudgecake There are certainly some traits in my mother's family. Her father and in particular his mother were terrible snobs. My mother and my grandmother had a very bad life with him. But my mother always has had very conventional morality and was loving. Stealing and cheating appalled her. Interestingly, my dad's side of the family has had a lot of trouble. My dad's brother was in court twice for stealing from his job. We found out from my cousin, his son, that he'd also actually stolen from him when he was a teenager - taken his ATM card too and withdrawn the money. He also cheated on his wife and had a very grandiose sense of self, although he never amounted to much. The generation before that, my dad's uncle, was also apparently very similar. My dad himself has a lot of the traits of ADHD: the quick temper, the difficulty in processing decisions and the wandering mind - he though has a very rigid sense of black and white morality and was appalled by it all too. A couple of my cousins are like my sister - one developed a bad drug habit, stole from my aunt and went round posing as a qualified nurse to get work. Another has the fiery temper and emotional instability. He too was in trouble as a teen for stealing and is very much the outcast of his siblings.
@@zeddeka It sounds like you're implying ADHD and NPD traits are related, or at least conflating them. Why connect ADHD to narcissism? Black and white thinking, one of your examples of ADHD, is not a sign or symptom of ADHD. It is a symptom of anxiety, but everyone suffers from anxiety. Please do not further stigmatize people with ADHD by relating it to narcissism. it does not further understanding on these issues and its ableist.
@@matilda4406 it's very interesting - she had a problem with a valve in her stomach and was in and out of hospital a lot during her first year. My parents said they spoiled her to make up for it. I'm her younger sibling and she's been pretty awful to me throughout her life, although I haven't had any contact with her since 2003. My parents definitely didn't enable that, but she was always awful when they weren't there. I stopped speaking to her after an event in 2003 when I passed my masters degree, and as was pretty commonplace then, my parents put a little thing in the local newspaper to say congratulations. Despite the fact that she was 30 years old, she absolutely exploded. She rang around all the extended family telling them I was gay (pretty homophobic family), and that she had been abused by my parents when a child (TOTALLY untrue). She also took all the toys my parents had bought her young daughter and left them on my parents step one night. We found out a couple of months later that she had emigrated to Australia with her then husband and that she'd actually been planning it for months. That all exploded too - after getting there, she started an affair with another man who she thought had more money than her husband. She and the first husband had a very nasty breakup and her poor young daughter ended up in therapy - she wouldn't eat because she thought everyone was trying to poison her. My sister subsequently got heavily involved in MLMs and made a bucket load of money (apparently MLMs are like a magnet for Narcissists). But she left a trail of destruction behind her too. One MLM she worked for put out a public statement saying they were going to sue her for breach of contract and that she and her new husband were greedy, unscrupulous people. Also lots of people on Facebook complaining how she used and abused them. Time doesn't seem to have changed her, other than the huge amount of plastic surgery she's had. She recently gave a testimonial online about some company. She had breast cancer, like my mother had, and talked about how she'd only got checked because she had a dream telling her. Again, a total lie. She'd been getting checked regularly since my mother had it in the 90s.
My mother was one and I suffered from her machinations all my life. She belittled, shamed and made fun of me and then in turn my stepfather. The damage that they inflict behind your back is beyond wicked.
My mom is a covert narcissist and I feel constantly anxious that I'll turn into her. I just want my own children to feel loved unconditionally and happy
😮 woah that running example was exactly what my mother would do to me. She’d say I needed to loose weight- she hardly cooked - only fast food . When I did get out of shape she’d take me running n literally ditch me - everything was a competition with her entering my teens . Great insightful video 💜⚡️
I wanted to be a successful and independent woman my entire life. What I’ve found is, due to my empathetic nature, it’s nearly impossible to the pay and “rank” I’ve been working towards because I can’t hurt others to get there (to the top) it’s not in me. I’d rather be poor than not be myself. It’s been a rough lesson. I also refuse to be with a man who has no problem hurting others to get to the top. I’m doomed 😅. My mother, god rest her soul, always told me that I’ll get my wings in heaven. So, until then……..
Same. Beating others to be at the top is not me. I'd rather help others and help them from behind. it gives me fulfilment. But my experience being bullied during my childhood makes me highly sensitive with arrogant people. That's why I can spot a narcissist man and woman.
I’m a man and feel the exact same way. Why should I be given luxuries when millions of other people will never have the opportunity. Stepping over others and using others to get to your spot in life is an entirely other thing too. Being a man with empathy gets criticized in this world by other men, so having friends and relationships becomes a lot tougher.
You can be firm but fair. I believe in you. I have seen people who are not aggressive do well when they are willing to have conversations fearlessly and don't loose composure. That being said, I work outdoors with plants and are a union rep, I find it easy to fight for the group, hard to fight for myself.
My NPD GF had a favorite child, her first born son. Her younger daughter could never measure up, and knew she was not the favorite. Her daughter had been a little heavy as a child but now, in her early thirties, suffered anorexia nervosa where she was frequently hospitalized for the condition. In my view she was trying desperately to please her mother and get her approval. My GF was also a controlling and obsessive, "healthy,” eater. Everything had to be organic, salt free, farm raised, which her daughter also emulated. (She was rail thin.) Into this crazy mix was me trying to maintain a relationship. She had many good qualities. Extremely attractive, dressed perfectly and was very successful and smart. She was also, controlling, very jealous, never apologized had few friends and on a cycle of losing her temper and having senseless tantrums over issues so small I never knew what set her off. I was so anxious, my own heath was affected. I got Shingles and heart palpitations and was jumpy all the time. Finally, after watching endless videos on narcissism and personality disorders I had the validation I needed to leave for good. I was trauma bonded but slowly it’s gotten better. Now, could I have spotted this sooner. No. Why? she was the most perfect human being on the planet for about nine months. She held off with the tantrums until then and by that time I was hooked line and sinker. I didn’t have the experience. I think now I might be able bail after the first crazy episode but then I assumed it was a one off thing. Good luck everyone!
I have found narcissistic women to be very draining, and you are never done trying to help or please them. You have to walk away no matter how hopeful for change because it will never really happen.
Going thru all of this with my ex. This is a person who told me she has trouble “putting herself in other peoples shoes.” She has made everything since our split way more difficult than is necessary. She has kept a iron grip on our kids even tho they are asking for more time with me.
It has been my .experience that there is a disturbing jealousy attached to it as well, or at least, it can be attached. Thanks for sharing and I appreciate the depth you put into your presentations. Personally, I am appalled at how we do not look at narccisism as a disorder in females, as observationally, I see a lot of it. It is amaziing what happens when you try and make someone look at themselves obectively, when they do not have that abilty in the prefrontal cortex.
You know, the sooner we can see that we never can change them, make them more insightful, more empathic, fairer - the sooner we muster the honesty to say thanks and good bye, I'm better off on my own, single and alone, and I don't need a trophy, your looks, nor your money - I long for real human connection, the better. (Btw, almost all women know, that there is female narcissism, even if psychologist wouldn't taken an interest.)
@@DNA350ppm It is very rampant, though. It seems that in the back of my head, I am always trying to filter tht ouot of the new people I meet, or communicate with. The love bombing and sex bombing can do some serious to damage to empathic men, as well as the from narcissistic males on females. I try to explain narcissism in the way that I have been learning, but I come across deaf ears. Clearly, I don't believe we are learning it the riight way, otherwise, it would remain that way for their entire life.
@@Craigdna I think thorough-bread narcissists stay such all of their lives. You cannot change them whatever you might do. Most women are not narcissists, I can assure you, but a specific man might have a repetition compulsion because of his upbringing. In a Freudian sense he has an urge to play with fire to learn to deal with it. A healthy way to deal with it, is to learn to notice narcissism, be immediately aware of its danger and the attempts to get you sucked in - and be strong enough to stay far from it. That's a huge win, but a narcissist will never recognize your victories. But never mind - it is important that you yourself give yourself the kudos and awards you deserve - you can do it, and then the world looks so much better and friendlier and more welcoming. All the best wishes to any victims of narcissistic abuse, may you heal and find inner peace and harmony with the help of your own strength and good values. Be brave and stubborn, as your own compass has a true North, because you have fairness and love to measure others with. Follow your bliss!
Jealousy can arise in the narc female even if she has more material things and a more attractive appearance than the person of whom she is jealous. There is always some trait or some thing another has that she is envious of .....never satisfied.
This all describes my ex-wife exactly. It’s pretty crazy how accurate and specific it all is. No wonder there was no compromise with her and I simply had to leave her.
I had a child and lived with one for 7 years. Probably right up there with one of my life's worst experiences. She found a richer supplier and made me out to be the worst human ever when, in fact, she was. The lies to the courts were extensive and complete fabrications. She knew how to play me and the system. It was an awful time. Later, when she had trouble with her new guy, she tried to bring me back in. I knew better and ran away. One of the best decisions I've ever made as I met an angel six months later. I had the best loving relationship with that angel that anyone could possibly have for thirty years up until her death. It was the best thirty years of my life. Running away is good sometimes.
This is spot on. My narc ex, tiktoker, after I left her, she masked up...went on her tiktok lives snd started dressing way more revealing...her new supply is s guy that was attracted to that through her tiktok, she moved all the wsy across the country to live with him and went back to dressing how she normally does. And yeah, everything else you mentioned in this, literally everything, she did. It's scary how accurate this is, its scary that people like this just flock amongst us, men sbd women. Its not spoken about enough how much damage these people can do, especially to someone with mental health issues already... they'll absolutely wreck you by the end. Usually if you have the courage enough to leave them or they leave you, many people struggle severely after. When you finally get away from them, it's like stepping back into an alternate universe. That's what I'm going through now.
My mother is a grandiose narc and she definitely ticked all the boxes. Obsessed with money and looking successful. Cheating on my father. Always putting down others to nake herself look and feel superior. Having a Golden Child that she consistently favors.
Well that sounds familiar 😅 except i got even worse and got the covert not grandiose. Its good to know whats happened with all the information available now
My step-daughter is highly narcissistic. She hates me for taking the central place in her father's life. She has been belittling me, poisoning my relationship with my husband. She's so jealous of anyone and anything that she can't stand anyone being well, happy and successful. It's a shame nobody writes about evil spirited step children, but almost every story is about evil step mothers.
Is her mother around? She might be poisoning the well. If you get the chance, read about parental alienation syndrome. Some children fall victim to it, and it not only ruins their relationship with the alienated parent, but also future relationships. I know this doesn't directly apply to you, but it could be that a narcissistic adult is manipulating the child, and therefore, it's not entirely the child's fault. If I had heard of parental alienation syndrome earlier, I would have made much more patient loving decisions, instead of the angry judgemental ones I made instead (lol). Live and learn, I guess.
I’m sure the girl who dumped me before Christmas is a covert narcissist. At first I was devastated but now that I feel free and she done me a massive favour
My neighbor decided to hook up w/& allow this "thing" to move in his house & LITERALLY TAKE OVER. As I watched from the safety of my property, more & more alarms started going off in my head... she was making decisions & he was just DOING whatever she wanted... It was surreal!!! Things like fences for the dogs who previously enjoyed playing in his huge back yard... She was driving his $85,000 custom Rubicon...not her Acura that remained parked... none of his friends ever came over anymore... She exploded at me for dropping off a piece of equipment that needed a new chord!!!... completely brainwashed him to turn on me(after 12.5 YEARS of amiacible neighbor interaction!!!), & ***I WALKED AWAY FROM BOTH OF THEM 7/21/21.*** She watched my every move from his windows for the next year... While contractors (Amish Deacon) were installing a metal roof, she paraded around in SEE-THROUGH PAJAMAS(the Deacon told me he'd instructed his sons to "look away" while she was outside- the Deacon called her "a pig.")!!! It was after the metal roof was finished that her antagonist taunting exploded: she called police for EVERYTHING... even someone dropping off wildlife(I'm a licensed rehabber)!!! She gaslit everything..."I WAS A LYING FRAUD WHO DIDN'T OWN THAT HOUSE..? MY VEHICLES WERE ILLEGAL!!! POLICE NEEDED TO ARREST ME!!!" ...& everything NUCLEAR DETONATED ***WHEN SHE STOLE MY 2 OUTSIDE CATS & KILLED THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!*** (9/17-8/22)...then lied through their teeth to police. He was actually backing her up!!!!!!!!!... cats that prior to her, HE CLAIMED TO LIKE & HAD NO PROBLEM WITH...FOR 11 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had 2 intense meetings with police (12/27/22 & 1/16/23), where I COVERED their 8' table w/DOCUMENTS...they couldn't get to the copy machine fast enough... Licenses, DEEDS, IRS 501c3 Certificates, Incorporation documents, University Degrees, NASA FEDERAL SECURITY CLEARANCE!!!..... The Town CLEARANCE to open & operate a wildlife hospital, dated 11/10/2002!!! I proved all her claims to be OUTRIGHT LIES... but that only made her double down... "Those papers are FRAUDS!!!" I installed 125' of 8' high Stockade security fence 3/23/23... She screamed soooo loud, I had to contact the Town Supervisor directly, who promptly sent police to make sure my surveyor & contractor could complete the job. Threats galore..charging me... menacing, swinging something in hands... Reality check: >>>I can't change the fact that I'm 118 lbs & wear a size 4 Jean, vs her 225 lb 5' frame in too tight 20W clothes >>>REALITY sucks when you LOST your state nursing license because of unethical activities, but I'VE BEEN A LICENSED CLASS 2(meaning I teach it) WILDLIFE REHABILITATOR 27 YEARS... A Master's Degree in Biochemistry, & spent DECADES in biomedical research, including flight biological research at KSC. >>>A SEVERELY MODIFIED 2008 50th Anniversary Edition Impala LTZ IS NOT ILLEGAL: Chevy & race track pit crews call Her "The Blacktop Dragon"... & I can thread a needle with Her, at about 110mph!!!🏁🏁🏁 >>>The murders of my beloved cats IS A DOUBLE FELONY IN MY STATE, & the investigation is open & ongoing... >>>NO ONE, not even you, NARCISSIST, can take down this INTJ... look at the now over 2 YEARS of your attempted bully tactics...& you're no closer to running me off than you were 3 years ago... All that wasted time & effort... Yet my businesses are prosperous & stable, I continue to maintain MY HOME, My Blacktop Dragon is still smokin the roads, & Oh Geez...NOT A SINGLE TICKET!!!!!! This narc, folks, is a REAL MORON!!! But by all means narc, continue... Because you're HANDING ME A CLASS ACTION WIN IN STATE SUPREME COURT!!!... ...stay tuned....🖤🏁
@@AwakenedAvocado Smirking... In my classic style, I have maneuvered LAW ENFORCEMENT into position... It's Police, Courts & TOWN OFFICIALS that are currently in the process of LOWERING THE SLEDGEHAMMER ON THEM... I'm watching it all play out, from the safety of my own property, under the watchful eye of my surveillance system... Stay tuned...🖤🏁
@@catherinerhea6336 i mean it sounds insame amd like alot of exerted energy on your point but it SOUNDS like you are in the right and if she did actually kill your cats well i hope she gets it. As an animal person, you may also know that the way someone treats animals tells you all you need to know about them as a person.
@@AwakenedAvocado You are 🎯 on all your assertions... I am established...run a FULLY LICENSED wildlife hospital out of my home... And do cat rescue w/half a dozen other rescue agencies- I'm a rescue outreach satellite. The 2 cats she stole & killed I RESCUED AS 3 WK OLD ORPHANS IN 4/2009!!! This is the only home they ever knew & they were happy, contented, sweet boys, who made sure the rodent population was held in check for 11 YEARS... until narco decided Zach & Balu were gonna be her weapons to break me!!! 9/17-18 will be the one-year anniversary of their abduction & murder....they didn't deserve her bullshit & neither do I. New York State, my county & TOWN are ALL involved in going after her... It won't bring my beautiful boyz back...but it WILL stop her from harming any other animals. Thanks for your interest & support... It DOES matter.💞🐾🐱🖤
Several of the traits you listed I have deeply entrenched: self-doubt, fear, guilt, inferiority, shame.. But I don’t have the false sense of confidence, attention-seeking, putting others down. I’d be curious to learn why some develop those narcissistic traits and others do not. Thanks for the video Dr Fox.
I was listening to Jung's work the other day and he said something like , "an inability to stop the bad behaviors causes the personality to fragment" or something like that... And it becomes a pattern and deep ingrained way of being ... Because if they allow themselves to do bad things they have to justify to themselves why it's ok... We all have the narcissistic traits and bad thoughts etc... But we have tried to stop ourselves from doing bad things most likely based on the internal recognition of feelings that don't feel good... So like if I steal something from a store, if I were a narcissist, I would tell myself that I deserve what I stole and that the store owed me or whatever... And this would happen over and over again which kinda trains the brain to think in a certain way over time.
And to add to my comment and answer the other part of the question why do some develop and others do not is based on heredity and environment. If you have love and a parent who can mirror your emotions and mirror to you love and acceptance and safety, trust then you begin to develop a sense of self ... In my own life, I had a father who loved me and this gave me some sense of self ... A connection to self helps to build self confidence, an internal picture of who you are ... So when we have a chance to lie or whatever we can stay with our true feelings and feel that lying in most cases is wrong and not do it, and not have to justify anything to ourselves. :) Hope this doesn't make things more confusing ;)
Narcissism is shaped by the environment in which we live in. Western countries especially materialistic nations attract narcissists because it caters to the narcissistic ideals self idealization, material gratification, stepping on and using others to gain for ones own self, lying manipulating in order to achieve a superficial goal etc etc.
Popularly, they speak about women with Daddy Issues and Male Mother Need. But, I see a lot of women with terrible relationship to their own mother.I think a lot of women are broken from their toxic mother. I'm both parents-broken. The opposite of toxic isn't nontoxic, it's ambivalent. Like temperatures, one is too hot, the other too cold. Only that happy medium is warm. Don't know what that feels like, but I'm certain I try and replace mom and dad with women and men I meet. Never lasts. I don't need a caregiver, but just some support, advice. Instead I get one sided friendships that end after I'm no longer considered fun. I am fun. But, I'm not shallow. People want unproblematic, low to zero maintenance, entertaining friends. Not another life to solve.
I was raised by a narcissist. She'll die alone and she earned it. I feel parentless - like I had no mother or father. I'm interested in how narcissists turn their children into people who become ALMOST like them without the malice. I feel like a weird shadow of my mother. Even as a child I judged her judgment of others. I found her cruel and uncaring to the poor, or helpless. In adult life, I crave approval, but love it when others get it. I take joy in the accomplishments of others, but have the fear and shame of a narcissist when I don't succeed. Then again, maybe success is something we've turned into something so toxic in this society, I would feel like this anyway. Why am I "half" bad?
Years ago my ex went on a chat line to say her husband did not want her to go out with other men. What a cheek she said. She then left me with 5 children still living at home, the youngest being our 12 yr old daughter. She has just resurfaced after 19 years wanting the house that I live in with 2 adult of our adult children to be sold because she received an inheritance from her mother's estate, which was not enough to buy a suitable house. I go to court in 9 days time.
Richard Grannon hypothesized that most of the time female narcissists are misdiagnosed as BPD - because apparently that’s more acceptable in retaining the victimhood status of women.
This analysis tallies with the reality of my experience, especially the 'money = status and points' enabling domination and control of the target, particularly if the target has way less money or "less" valued social status as perceived by the narcissist. Thank you for elucidating and making this really clear and concise. These videos are like a free public service for mental health and living abuse free. Thank you.
They are like my dogs, I love observing my dogs…it brings me joy. Poppy and Paxton look so much alike. I like watching them…. So cozy and sweet, sometimes a bit sassi .:..and.i love the “Wahooo’s” . Those make my day ♥️
People out there I want to let you know this guy did a perfect example of explaining the scenario that you know that we all deal with give this guy thumbs up and subscribe he seems to know what he's talking about.
People need to call them out. They'll never learn how they hurt others. Its called putting yourself in other people's shoes. Its a thought process about others. Believe me they'll keep up their horrible behaviors. I've noticed its passed down and baby boomers are worse. I can't stand people that need so much attention. Actually they'll never get enough attention no matter how many people are around.
Great video and well explained! Love the comparison between how the female narcissist vs. Histrionic will dress. I have a family member who's histrionic and you're so right, inappropriate dress at all times. I saw a woman once who exactly reminded me of this family member and I knew before she spoke that she was histrionic based on how she was dressed, and of course she went on to display the characteristics for the entire room, because the entire room needed to be part of her drama.
Narcissistic personality traits are a part of the human condition. We are all in our own thoughts and emotions so we experience it alone. Being able to express compassion, empathy, loving others for who they are… all need to develop from when we are born, we are raised and go through developmental stages. Sometimes there is a pause in this process, and this is what triggers many different personality disorders! Therapy is required to go back and understand what they didn’t get in their childhood! It requires work with a trained therapist/ psychologist. No quick fix. If any. Unfortunately our medical health care system doesn’t provide coverage for psychiatric services. Psychological services. It’s a shame insurance covers so little!
I realize my wife is a narcissist because she never takes accountability and I can never have a rational conversation and she lies and won’t even acknowledge when facts are presented. She will always deflect and even turn it around on me and want me to believe. I’m filing for divorce this week. There’s nothing that I can say or do to change her behavior and I’m not like her mother and sisters husbands that have been taught that they must be passive. Otherwise their marriage would have failed. A living nightmare. Truly a nightmare. I was married to a normal woman for 30 years and never experienced anything like this.
Nearly every single narcissist traits I’ve had with my ex gf I’ve watched so many videos and I’m still thinking maybe I’m crazy but I think it’s my mind only realising after the breakup she’s a narcissist because at the time I thought she was absolutely perfect they really mess with your mind
Went thru the same thing. The best thing I heard that made realize I wasnt crazy or doubting myself was from my friend who said, "There is a reason why a woman that beautiful is single at our age"
They make you feel like you’re losing your mind. They never take blame. They look at themselves in the mirror like they’re wanting to have sex with themselves. They’re ruin your life! Escape now
Alchololism Control Silent treatment for control Gaslighting User Co-depency My way or the highway Gossip Manipulation And let’s not forget the copycats who just want to be you . They are jealous and start dressing like you, try to sing, try to play the guitar, try do the same job. Good luck trying to be me, lol. Also I am humble the narsisist will do anything for attention and then be critical of you to bring you down. Criticism is a big one!
This describes the snake that I finally got rid after using me for a place to live and bringing all their toxic traits and chaotic lifestyle into my peaceful existence
What I've found about female narcs that I've dealt with. Is that they have the emotional mentality of a 12 year old. Maybe that's where they were damaged beyond and were never able to grow. As they get older and never do the shadow work. They get even worse. And all the hope, care and support in the world can't force an ego death. I guess that's why they say there's no cure for narcissism. Sad.
I cannot be 100% sure but I believe I was with for two years a covert female narcissist. I got treated very very good for the first 5 to 6 months. Then things started to happen. She was always right, never wrong, when I would tell her I loved her, she would only say "I know that". Never tell me she loved me. Belittled me many times. I was always on the bottom of her list to be with. Always in the events helping out, doing may charity functions, being with her friends, but I was on the last of the list. There were times I would feel drained when I got back home. Told me how to dress and there were times I didn't really know who I was anymore.I broke up with her three months ago, and I heard she has been seeing somebody else since last month. She’s only 5 foot one, but she has an ego of 10 feet. She is now with a new supply, and they go places a lot and he spends time at her place a lot. "She is not posting anything on social media. Not letting anyone know". I have driven by her house and always see his car there. I am having a hard time getting over her even though I broke it off. I guess it’s because she has somebody, and she’s happy with, and I am still without a partner. BTW: she is 70 and so am I. Just having a hard time gripping this.
Bro, age aside, I've been through this. It gets easier. But you really have to cut ties and remind yourself why you broke it off. They're very good at making it look like they're happy but when you think of it she's probably just doing the same to that guy. You escaped. Live the rest of your life free from this attachment. All the best!
She is not happy..she is playing the same bs with her new "supply"...you are probably a wonderful person who deserves so much more, so stay away, she will never change. ❤
I'm 68 and broke free at 65. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Two years of steady pain but starting to feel like my old self again. You will too but not if you keep driving by her house.
Everything you said corresponds with my findings. How she treated me, how she related to others, how she sees herself, how important money and status are for her, how she treats her kids… I’m happy we divorced after 10 years together. Like you said, it was like running a marathon where the limits keep being moved. It’s four years now we haven’t seen each other. I’m broke, she sucked me dry. I never want to see that devil again. My lawyer will have to sort it out in court.
My mother was a narc and was constantly jealous and in competition with me and now my daughter desires the attention of my husband while spurning me. They both did weird things to praise my husband and demean me, even talking to him in ways that would make me look bad so my husband would be angry with me. It only worked a short time while he was with them but when we are alone he is completely different, even appreciating me. I try not to spend time with these kinds of people because my husband has a problem with wanting people to like him and going along with them.
Wow, thank you for this video. That explained so much things for me. I wish I could speak with you and pick your brain on the subject. Thank you again for the great information and I'll now watch your other videos.
I have suffered one such lady: aggressively entitled, obsessed with looks / high cost clothes and jewellery, grabbing things, treating parents in law with contempt and attitude of all of yours is mine by right but I will not share anything, including what I took from others by force. Cannot work or earn their needs- but grab from others in family - especially spouse and his parents.
They never stop either. Mine is my ex-employer. She is so mad I quit her mentally draining job, that she can't stand me being successful outside of her business. It's so sad, I pray for her healing because I feel sorry for her. Must be lonely, and such a sad life. I'd hate to be her.
Really do agree with you on all of this! Excellent outlay of this topic. I do wonder though if they are or are not aware of their “maladaptiveness.” I want to believe that on some level they know what they are doing, and that’s why they keep doing it knowing that their “maladaptive narcissism” works like a charm.
After the fact it's easy to say...love and appreciate yourself and don't let anyone belittle you and you believe it. Leave any woman or man that doesn't show care thats real.
So one thing I think the video didn't underline as much as I think it could have is the core level of insecurity that is where the rest of the behaviors sprout from (now having watched the video). I think you did a good job showing that she will not admit being wrong or at fault on vulnerable issues. I'm 37 and been in therapy since age 25 doing a modern psychoanalysis framework. Being the son of a woman like this has made it very difficult for me to have intimate and lasting romantic relationships. But I am at the point where I can see my mother's issues have come from her unresolved and unprocessed hurt, pain, trauma, and I can see where she is coming from and that I have accepted I will not ever be validated or feel adequate from words that come from her. She will always play devils advocate or stab harder when I need comfort, security, and acceptance. Other women who are disapproving tend to be those I have transference issues of mother onto them.
I'm beginning to suspect that all these disorders sit below the personality and express themselves through it. So a person who is "naturally" inclined towards shyness, bookishness, self-deprecation, etc, can have (probably) the Covert version of Narcissism, and act within the confines of that personality type, but in a narcissistic way. The more passive a person's personality is, the more passive aggressive their narcissism will be. Or maybe I'm mistaking BPD for NPD.
What you said in this video is absolutely accurate. I just moved away from a housemate who displayed every single one of these traits. Thank you for the insight.
My daughter is a narcissist and it has destroyed our relationship and as a result is destroying my relationship with my grandchildren. I really have to keep her at a distance because I physically and mentally cannot handle her abuse. It’s heartbreaking for me and I’m trying to decide if I should keep her in my life or just walk away. I’m at the end of my rope with her.
@@SmithpollyRight?.. I am curious as well. Also, the poster surely must have some form of notification (to see these responses). As a parent myself. No matter how hurt I've been from the interactions I've had with my children, would ever cut them out of my life.. help your child to correct her behavior before its been embedded into the next generation of your family for crying out loud.
@@GamerOnLoanIf a relationship with her daughter is at the expense of the rest of the family and other kids/grandkids I hope she does cut her off…. Unlike my own mother who will choose one of my brothers over the rest of us, even though that comes with along with his manipulation and insanity. She will choose him until the end I fear……..
I had an ex that seduced me when I was being counselled by her. I was living in a hostel in my 20s and she was living in luxury and in her 40s. I know now that she was narcissistic and I think that therapy careers attract such sorts (both male and female). People should be heavily vetted before being allowed into that line of work.
My narc mother trained my daughter very well from a young age. I didn't know what narcissists were until about a year ago, I just knew it was some kind of horrible manipulation. My daughter is obsessed with her hair, wears v cut or low-cut tops, and then makes a point of telling men, "Hey, my eyes are up here, I'm talking to you!" She would say your makeup looks nice but... . She would cut my hair and I ended up looking chopped but "you don't appreciate what I do for you." Her fave saying is " my husband " who is a good lap dog. A yes honey man, no matter how much she rags him and directs his every move including how often he is allowed to see his parents. I await the day when he finally grows a pair and leaves her. She's an Amazon addict and has things delivered several times a week. Keeps the credit cards on 0 balance and expects him to make up the difference for the next purchase. It's stunning to me. Her behavior forced me to move 2 states away and cut all communications with her. It's funny how much better I'm feeling and doing in life now. Thank God!
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Female narcissists are extremely common in my experience. There are so many aspects of modern society that feed into it.
Easy to find on dating sites and in common singles hangouts like bars and clubs. They are perpetually single and always looking for the next ones. No decent men want them so they always end up back on the market.
If you have decent boundaries and see them for what they are early then it's easy to avoid them.
Im sorry if thats your experince 😢 for me its the straight opposite; I mean, have u met men? But I guess that's my BPD that attracts NPD men around me 😅 life is hard. So hard to find a decent one. Thank god I met my bf..❤
Agreed. It's because western society idolizes narcissism. The higher we expect people to get, and the more we exalt them for those traits the more we encourage narcissism. Right now I doubt many will argue that men are starting to pull back more, and women are being encouraged more... so we're seeing a shift in prominence.
Yes new DSM has the latest numbers, male and female nartisists ratio is 50:50, the way females are progressing the ratio will be M30:70F
@@goodtimesbadtimes5273 It's true. The problem with glorifying masculine over feminine traits (especially when combined with glorifying abrasive traits) is that you internalize whatever perception you've attached to that example... and let's just be honest, narcissistic abuse and males have become almost synonymous as far as many females nowadays are concerned. Combine that with the fact that the narcissist actually represents the pinnacle of American idealism right now in many ways, and the common drive in most females to define worth through relationships (friends, family, romantic, etc) it's just the ideal situation for breading narcissists and borderlines (many borderlines often being eventual offshoots of narcissistic abuse... and those numbers are increasing too, and not surprisingly especially on the male side). Of coarse some of this is just gender bias. We spent so long saying women can't be abusive and men can't be emotional that now we're starting to open our eyes to the facts that they can with less bias and it's really flipping our perception on what we thought we knew... So some of this is just backlog from psychology taking forever to catch up (hence self help and blog psychology becoming more popular) and the fact that science has always been and will always be as bias as the minds that use it to explore.
“Covert Narcissism” in females is way more common that people think
I believe almost all females are covert narcs .
I completely agree. I dated a young women and couldn’t work out what the hell was going wrong. Went to a counsellor and she pointed it out. Fragile/vulnerable/covert Narc/BPD. This girl embody a number of traits from those disorders. It’s such a mindf&@k. Talk about a painful experience. NEVER again! I still carry alot of the pain 2 years after.
Yes it is. My sister is a poster child for a malignant narcissist and my first wife was a straight up psycho.
Unfortunately I knocked one up, and she didn't show her narcissism until after our child was born
This dame living next door to me has NPD and no I’m not a professional but I’ve been around the mountain and few times and she’s like Pepe lepew I’m steady running protecting my peace and energy I absolutely hate this!!!
Covert narcissists are the worst , to other people they appear charming but to the partner it’s hell. They tell everybody else it’s you !!
My ex is part of a survivor narcissist abuse group. She has all 7 traits and convinced my all along it was me.. I had to get professional help thinking what I 'did' to that girl, while I was being the abused all along.
Preach it! Well said.
They are absolutely monsters. So charming then to you -the devil
Women can be sooooo much worse than men. In a nutshell, men destroy your body, a woman destroys your soul!
Exactly
Mom was a narc with overlap with other cluster b disorders. She played the victim at the expense of her children. I literally left home at 14 years old (home life was horrible), no money and no support while she smeared me to other family members. I grew up rough in a hood in LA. I later developed my own issues (BPD/PTSD). After years of my own dysregulation I got my butt into therapy and I'm not that person anymore. ❤
I'm so sorry. As a 30 year veteran high school teacher, I taught that kid [you] many times and the courage and the integrity of these survivors always blew me away. Be proud for not letting someone else's wounds define who you are for the rest of your life.
Good blessings on you good work
💜💜💜💜
I’m proud of you!!!!
Omg you guys thank you so much! Your encouragement means a lot ❤❤❤❤❤🙏
Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims.
NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's.
However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you.
They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!!
Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com.
Wow! This is my ex partner to a tea she ended up in psychoatric ward in perth narcissist and alcoholism go together I don't understand how someone can have no emphty
This was super helpful (and scary) because this is my new Gf to a T. My intuition said run but her beauty and smile made me feel I could help her through her trauma. Very naive approach and she is like a cancer to my happiness. Got to let her go. This was the icing on the cake.
@@GarmischGator I relate to this very much sounds like the same girl 😱
The rules of female narcissists. 1. Thou shalt not upstage me. 2. What's yours is mine. 3. Thou shalt not be cooler than I am. 4. Give me your money. 5. Fidelity is subjective.
Yeah I've been a victim of these crap people. Along with many others likely, they will steal your soul and use it for their own gain. smhugly
sound like domina u liking squezing ur balls :D
Also 6. I am never wrong; therefore I never need to apologize.
Borderline personality too.
Couldn't have said it better myself!!
1) Appearances, need for attention, tendency for jealousy
2) seduction- done for a selective person, difficulty apologising when found guilty
3) Confidence- feel good when others are beneath them, belittling others, poor insight into their behaviour
4) Money means more power and controlling others, flashy ways of spending money
5) Infidelity- Putting everything on others, always seeking for higher status or seeking higher status partners. Higher tendency to cheat.
6) Parenting- Often they pick a favourite child and direct their attention to that child, other children are left out.
7) Competition- unhealthy way of making competition central.
Unwillingness to admit to one’s mistakes.
Please watch the video for details.
Thank you was looking for this comment
Appreciate the summary. "Poor insight into their own behaviour" is one I've noticed increasingly so in time. The oblivious nature of narcissism - almost autopilot and simply incapable of compassion without pretty extreme rifts in ego likely from psychedelics or extreme life changing tragedy, etc. Breaking ground in the ego veil.
I know someone who checks all of these points but they also have emotional disregulation issues thats why I think they're borderline. I'm confused
Allot of these are the same for men but the women might act out differently
@@anewrae1:35 1:36
I think a lot of female narcissists enter the mental health field. I honestly believe my last therapist was one. I confronted her about something and her response was to make serious accusations against a deceased family member. After she saw my initial shock she then asked me how much longer I was keeping it a secret. So that was her way of exerting power over me. All I can say is if you must see a therapist to trust your gut. If they get defensive over conflict in a therapy setting then it's time to fire them. It's pretty ridiculous.
I can relate I dated one like that
Totally agree....women in the work place in general just go OFF with power trippin tirades. Men in positions of power can do it too, but in my experience, women are way worse.
I agree. I have experienced such a scenario and it got messy.
Unlikely
therapist = THE RAPIST, whatever the field
I got out of a marriage w a narcissist wife 1.5 yrs ago, this video explains her perfectly. I’d rather be single than w a woman like this. I am free and won’t be so naive next time I meet a woman I want to pursue... thanks to her, I’m in NO rush. God bless y’all!
Do you still have to deal with her popping back up like a wart all the time just to get a reaction out of you?
@@wildfyah nope, bc I moved out of state😂
I'm 6 yrs happily single
Me too.
Same here
Both of my parents were narcissistic, though my father was more narcissistic than my mother. Both were emotionally distant and cold and neither provided me with the love and support every child deserves, which has had a devastating effect on me. Here's my takeaway: People who love you do not intentionally hurt you and people who intentionally hurt you do not love you. I don't think narcissists know how to love other people, or is it that they just don't care to? Either way, they are harmful destructive people whose number one concern is themself.
I'm so sorry you suffered. I went through the same. They took away our right to have a beautiful life. I'm doing my best to heal and make my life beautiful
Doubtful they were BOTH narcissists. Narcissists can't have a relationship.
One of them may have been but the other likely had another issue
I don't believe they know how.they most likely mimic what they learned at home.so how do you learn how to be .is it a God given gift? They weren't blessed with.
ericmorrison8772 My parents are both narcissists, they can and do have relationships together. Watch HG Tudor.
😊
I was married for 15 years to a woman with hystrionic personality disorder. It practically destroyed me and our kids. The whole thing was a nightmarish and exhausting facade. Still today, she cannot begin to see where the issues were, and she's displaying the very same baheviors with other people (including the kids). I do not see a single millimeter of progress. I often compare it to a bucket with holes at the bottom--no matter how hard you work and how many times you put energy into refilling it, it just leaks out very quickly and it's an endless cycle that just repeats. Theye are, very literally, emotional energy vampires, and never stop until you get the hell out.
Going thru it now 😢
@sunniblacc78 get the hell out bro .I jumped ship 2 weeks ago!
Still licking my wounds😂😂
A female narcissist will ruin your life. Even a brief relationship with one of these people can cause years of subsequent ruination. I cannot adequately express how dangerous to your life they are. I've seen an ex of mine afterwards go from man to man systematically destroying every one of them. And there is no solution, you will find yourself in constant stalemate. As beautiful as they often are you simply have to get as far away from them as possible and sever all ties. And even then, I can only liken a relationship with them as being like a tornado ripping through a town, leaving nothing but destruction behind it.
You are so right! The only solution is to get the heck out and stay out!
Man I just broke up with mine. He Bess losing my mind trying to get through to her. It was hopeless and stressful. Great advice. I just got caught up in her beauty for too long. I’m glad I finally figured out it wasn’t me all this time . Man talk about a huge weight off my soul once I finally gave up on trying!
Yesss!!
What if a 3 year old toddler is involved? This type difficult
@@MoralKombato Yes, when children are involved it makes matters more difficult.
But it should also remembered, narcisstic mothers do a lot of damage to children also.
My ex wife is a narcissist. After 22 years of "marriage," it took me a decade to recover.
I was in a relationship like this for one year and I still struggle! I can’t imagine going through this nonsense for 22 years. My goodness! I’m glad you got out! It was the most heartbreaking experience I have ever been in.
Same here… 20years thrown away simply because I got sober and had a clear mind again. Out of 3 children that have my last name… only my oldest has my DNA… that’s what took my soul from me. Once my youngest is 18 there’s going to be an extremely hard discussion about what really happened. With some luck the ex will be cooperative at least.
@@chrisc.2513 God bless you.
Wow! I don’t know how you can live under the same roof with a woman like this? You should have gotten out a long time ago.
@@dennisassini-pw2ic I didn't want my two daughters to turn out to be like their mom. Three years straight of college without passing a single class or working a job. My children deserved better.
It took me 6 years to catch my narcissistic wife. Of course, I didn’t know she was a narcissist back then. I didn’t even know what narcissism was. A part of me always knew that she wasn’t faithful to me. It was just that whenever I voiced my concerns or asked for some reassurance, there was hell to pay. She put me through a mental gauntlet of feigned outrage, moral indignation, gaslighting, and flipping reality on its head in order to make me the bad guy. She repeatedly set what little progress I had made in trying to have a good relationship with her, back to square one. She exploited my deepest desires-to have a good marriage and to keep our family together, by always keeping one foot out the door and threatening to leave. So, I learned to carefully pick my battles…. and worse. I learned to put the blinders on and to pretend that she wasn’t up to no good. I also learned to convince myself that I was the problem. And then one day, while she was at work, I decided to clean out the car. She had a nasty habit of treating the backseat like a dumpster. As I stuffed empty wrappers, bottles, and cups into a trash bag, I found an envelope with her name on it. Thinking it might be important, I decided to look at its contents before I threw it away. It was a letter from some guy who was clearly in love with her. He expressed how he wanted more from her than their secret rendezvous. There was no mistaking what he meant. Even though my heart was crushed, I regained my power in the very next moment. I drove to where she worked, and I angrily approached her. Her eyes fell on the letter in my hand, and her shoulders slumped in silent defeat. She quietly said, “I can’t talk right now, but I’ll be home in an hour.” “Good!” I replied. “I’ll be waiting!” Then I turned on my heel and stormed out the door. Now that the cat was out of the bag, she admitted the entire affair-including all the places where they would meet up. As difficult as that was to hear, I stood by, ready to forgive her. I was well-practiced in starting over from square one, and I eagerly waited for the opportunity to roll up my sleeves and to get to work. But she played the wounded victim as convincingly as Amber Heard, and she asked me to wait for two days while she decided what she should do. Of course, I said yes. Even though I had been married to her for 14 years, I still had no idea what I was dealing with. In the midst of that painful discussion, she was plotting her next move. It turned out that she needed two days to think because that’s when her boyfriend would return from his business trip. She wanted to be in a relationship with him, but when he refused to leave his wife for her, she decided to stay married to me. Of course, I didn’t know any of this at the time. I only knew that after two days, she decided to stay. Being the eternal optimist that I am, I saw this as an opportunity for a brand new start, and I convinced myself that we were finally going to have a good marriage. But she didn’t share my optimism, and it was obvious that her heart wasn’t in her decision to stay. We suffered together for another 2 weeks when she blamed me for her affair. That’s when I finally threw in the towel. We divorced on friendly terms, and we made all our own arrangements for custody and child support. We only needed a lawyer to draft and file the appropriate documents. The laws have changed since those days, and you can’t do that kind of stuff anymore. Anyway, during our many conversations to dissolve our marriage, she admitted lots of things that I didn’t know about-including the fact that she was never faithful to me. If I had understood narcissism back then, I would have handled things differently. I wouldn’t have put up with her mental abuse, and I would have left her years earlier. Additionally, There are many ways to f!nd out what someone is hiding from you in their phones. These several ways only need the ass!stance of someone who has the knowledge $py!ng and can hàck into phónes and social media. For hélp, contact Metaspyhub@gmail. com for ass!stance.
What a terrible and misleading way to attract customers with your sad story. Shame on you. Trying to prey on men who are having a hard time in their relationship. Don't be fooled guys.
I will never understand how people can put others through something like that with no remorse. Makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
I understand , my story matches your. 😢
Thank you for writing this man. It is unbelievable the hell this situation is. They always try to frame you as the bad guy, and I didn’t see what she was doing until I fixed everything toxic with me, not knowing she was feeding into it the whole time. They pray and actively contribute to your failures; the only way to win is to learn from your failures
@@planeetpaulwow this is incredible, I even wrote up a reply and everything. There really are a lot of people praying on defeated men these days it’s sick. This is another reason why these women and people in general get away with this
A lot of this seems like it would feed into the “mean girl” phenomenon and female bullying in school. Thanks Dr. Fox.
You're very welcome. I'm glad the video was helpful. Be well.
@@DrDanielFox You have a scammer who made an email with your name in the comments of nearly every person on here. I tried reporting. But thought you might want to block them from your channel.
@@DrDanielFox People like you should really speak out against Anime and Manga, especially those which promote Narcissists like Asuka Langley Soryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Seriously entire generations of youth, teens and other people are being brainwashed into either becoming Narcissists, condoning Narcissists and falling victim to Narcissists.
@@kimberlybaker5133 Maybe they're a narcisst & lack empathy.
@@kimberlybaker5133I hope you are able to contact him so he can report it. That's pretty crazy.
I was one. Then I dated a male model narcissist who became a mirror for all my narcissistic insecure toxic traits, painful to recognize. But then realized everything u put out comes back around. Talk about cycles…thank you for the insights ❤︎
Hello,
I appreciate your honesty and openness to admitting this, in your way you are apologizing and teaching yourself a new pattern and way of living at your most version of yourself than the direction of rock bottom.
Thank you,
God Bless,
Rob
If you can admit you were one then you probaby wasn't one
You probably were not. You may had some of the traits but not a 'full' narcissist. Continue bettering yourself and working on you flaws , admitting them is the first step of healing . Much love to you
@@clubdesalud1488you’ve never seen narcissists on TH-cam? It’s a myth narcissists can’t admit to having npd
Self awareness is definitely possible for people with cluster b traits. I believe that and I believe that some can go on to be and feel so much better. ❤
You've described my wife. One thing you didn't mention was "friends".. my narcissistic wife replaces me (and her former husband's) with her friends. She gives them priority and place and value above a husband.. then when confronted.. she deflects and gaslights..
She’s cheating
Be careful and don’t make accusations before you fully evaluate yourself. Are there things you are genuinely doing wrong in the relationship? Drop the ego and seriously evaluate yourself. I wish I did many times before.
I dated one of these ladies once. She was extremely manipulative, conniving, obsessed with her hair. One day years later, it dawned on me that she cheated on me with her ex husband. God she had me so snowed. I wish that we taught psychology in school. It's about a billion times more useful than algebra or history.
The thing is, if they taught psychology in schools, it wouldn’t take long for many students to identify narcs and etc in the teachers. In retrospect, I know many of my female teachers were very troubled. Humiliating the students, abusing. My history teacher - interestingly, never married , and she was in her 40s - once banned me from her class for two weeks because I was cracking jokes with my friend during the break. And did not allow me back until I apologised for literally doing nothing wrong.
@@intrepidsouls That's exactly the point. Our society has zero structure to account for mental illness and psych damage. The most amazing thing to me was to grow to realize that narcissists, bullies, and other crazies are frequently REWARDED by society for their disease. Think about it: America elected Trump. A man who literally paints himself orange who isn't fit to run a lemonade stand. Madness.
No one can love you enough to not want to continue being with other people 😂 someone’s sexuality will always be stronger than their “love”
@@SillyChickens222what did that have to do with the post?
@@SillyChickens222this has nothing to do with the topic at hand, and people might find it triggering.
I’m glad I’ve managed to see these signs early. I’d already ignored a few signs but then I had a completely honest, open conversation about how a few things that had happened had made me feel - I wasn’t accusing, I wasn’t asking for an apology, I was merely saying how I felt and was happy to be given some reassurance and told that it wasn’t the reality of the situation.
What I got instead was her gaslighting me and basically invalidating my feelings, and telling me she was pissed off at me and eventually blanking me. That is an absolute deal breaker straight away, if you can’t bring your feelings up without being made to feel like you’re the one being completely unreasonable. Trademark narcissism and she wasn’t going to get away with that and think she could have that power over me. Ended things the next day
I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through such a difficult situation. It's important to prioritize your own feelings and well-being in any relationship.
@@DrDanielFox Dr Fox, your videos really are valuable content - thank you
2 ways to easily avoid Narcissistic women:
1. She isn't on social media.
2. She has a good relationship with her father.
You're welcome.
This is unironically true
this comment is EXTREMELY underated, DAMN!
Untrue not all. Spreading misinformation
No..
it atleast knocks out 70% of of nasty women honestly. Once she has a good relationship with her father and isn't on social media or atleast does not post erotic photos etc, chances are she's somewhat decent. There are other things tho, but a good start is her social media and who she follows and then her relationship with her father, best start.
As a female, I have experienced the worst behaviors from female narcissist that unfortunately "slid under my radar" as " friends. Released them when I realized they responded negatively to my boundaries. They try to seduce other females also.. They are really very sly , jealous and deceptive.
The word "boundaries" has really slipped in to mainstream conversation lately. It's fine but i think people don't use the term correctly, especially narcissists. They use it selectively to control other people, not consistently as an actual boundary, because they don't care about the so called boundary they care about control and power.
They will hurt you. So bad!😢 I loved her as my friend, my confident, loved her. She broke my heart. People warned me. I was just so lonely! Moved did not know anyone.
@@cho4dif you sett a boundary on a needy friend who calls you every day is that a need for control? It's my time
@@cho4dI had a narcissistic female coworker. She blew up on me. Got very defensive as after I let her know that her humming bothers me. We work 2 ft away from each other. There seemed to have already been reactive abuse going on before this. I now see it all. You called it out. The term boundary is not being used correctly. This person tried to set a "boundary" with me by physically using the word boundary they said" I'm going to set a boundary with you. You don't like when The music changes. You don't like when I bring my radio in" I have been so accommodating of you. Meanwhile I've worked here 7 years and the radio's been on for all the 7 years and hasn't been changed. Oh this feels really good. This person tried to set a boundary without actually talking with me about something that bothered them. This could be my own wound where where I am working on speaking my own needs as well. This narcissist taught me to speak my needs, do not allow someone to walk all over you, and to learn how to set my own expectations for a relationship. I now know how to set boundaries within myself and with my work. This has been truly a healing journey. I worked with this person for a year and a half they came in greenhorn knew nothing about the The education it takes to be in in a position. This person did not know how to be responsible for their own mistakes. They did not know how to apologize. And when I asked about the defensive behavior and I asked if we could talk about it. They said " You're doing it again" and that showed me that this person lacks complete self-awareness. This person is emotionally immature. And does not know how to do their job. Female narcissist in the workplace as a coworker are dangerous. They are a ticking Time bomb. Their tantrums trying to get you to emotionally react. This is pure narcissistic supply. Watch your back in the workplace. I'm happy I've learned this in my early twenties
I notice that too and I'm a female. I agree the female narc are just hellish as they could be. I have them in my family and damn, they don't know how and where to stop. Biggest whores ever and I mean it.
The female narcissist i knew cheated on her husband and made 3 kids with her affair partners. Once the husband found out and asked for a divorce she contested it for 3 years. I asked her "why did she contest the divorce?" She said " "he married me so he was supposed to forgive those things "
He seen 3 kids that didn’t look like him before he realized 🤯
@@sweet2sourrOh my days! 😂😂😂😂😂
They love having raw revenge sex. The excitement of who is the daddy gets their heart pumping. They literally have no clue and will have sex with multiple men on the same day. Everyone gets a taste of her melting pot of germs. Witches brew 😅😅😅
Sounds like my MIL. She left my FIL for another man, and says it’s ok that she cheated because he didn’t give her enough attention. I could go on and on but basically she’s the most narcissistic person I know 😵💫
WOW
Social media is FILLED with female "narcissist." Everything from tik tok videos, to being on fb live just looking into the camera while playing with her hair.
Thank you for sharing your perspective
I don’t think you can diagnose someone just because they put themselves out there online, or even enjoy getting attention for their appearance. The lack of empathy and willingness to step on others to get that attention is still key.
@@larad9180 ❤️When did I diagnose someone? I made a comment. Narcissism is nothing more than pride. This behavior has been around WAY before it was called narcissist by someone. It's not so much about them and a lack of empathy, but more their lack of love (which then produces a lack of empathy, care, patience, peace, gentleness, etc... That love is usually hindered by a fear within them (whether fear of rejection, loneliness, failure, etc...). Many prideful or emotionally broken people use social media to manage their brokenness or love of self. A person that makes online videos ALL day long just looking into the camera posing, or revealing their body, or trying to be pretty all day long online is a person that is a lover of self (Again, also pride, which is tied to "Narcissism"). There is a verse in God's Word that explains these excessive behaviors we are seeing today within people (2nd Timothy Chpt 3 Verses 1-5)
@@DrDanielFox People like you should really speak out against Anime and Manga, especially those which promote Narcissists like Asuka Langley Soryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Seriously entire generations of youth, teens and other people are being brainwashed into either becoming Narcissists, condoning Narcissists and falling victim to Narcissists.
Online life reveals the worst of late-stage capitalism. It's stripped down to its essentials. Narcissism is also essential to capitalism (see what I did there ;). Read Marx, and don't over-think it.
Knowledge is power . No more female narcissist around me . I became unbearable for THEM with my brutal truth when they tried put me down
SPOT ON! That’s how my marriage of 22 years ended in divorce last year. I retired from the Army seven years previously and hadn’t been deployed since 2011. The “Queen” didn’t like me in her domain and manipulated our two older daughters against me. It was a no-fault divorce that she wanted after I stopped feeding her ego in exchange for compromising on my leadership role in the family. She would think she forgot she married a Soldier instead of a pushover. She destroyed our family.
Stupid American, glorifying soldiers that kill people. Your country's military has murdered millions of innocent people in order to enforce the policies of the rich and powerful. Thanks for your service my arse!
I find that female narcissists hold a certain resentment towards men and society as a whole because they understand the halo effect and that if they are conventionally beautiful, men and society as a whole will celebrate them. I would say it's very easy to fall into their trap because of this - and there are probably people who fall for them who are very shallow, and they use the shallow nature of the person who fell for them to justify their abuse. I know that's sick but I find that to be true.
They're Satan's creation. Dressed in the most beautiful flesh he could afford.
They're literally a demonic entity.
That's not necessarily narcissism. There are plenty of male narcissists that cause women to hold resentment towards males. It's on both sides.
Pretty sure i am attracted to female narcissists. The relationship i had before my current relationship, she met all the criteria to a very high degree. I paid a significant price when i left that relationship. She had no problem taking that as a personal injury to herself, and she did wildly unacceptable, illegal things in an attempt to ruin my life.
It took me two years to start to see something was wrong. After three years, one day i was reading about what was dysfunctional with our relationship, when i came across literature on npd. Reading that, it hit me like a brick, sent chills down my spine... Every single descriptor i was reading, i had numerous, SEVERE, examples that lined up with them. She was, and is, EXTREMELY dangerous. The law, social norms, rules, they meant nothing to her if you happened to not fit into her idea of how things should be. Revenge porn, breaking and entering, destruction of property, slander, gas lighting, getting a 911 call i made on my birthday, in order to save me from her after she had ran me over physically attacked me and shot her pistol at me, reversed to where the police, on my birthday in a place special to me, wound up arresting me and putting me in jail...
I still havent recovered from that relationship. I thought at first she was my soul mate, and i was going to live happily ever after. At the end if it, i realized that what i thought was my soul mate was actually something that wasnt even real. It was all a lie. All of it was constructed. So at the end of it, i lost two people. The imaginary woman I loved wholeheartedly, and the woman I was with for 4 years.
I know, with no doubt, that she was not just narcissistic, she had SEVERE npd. And by god, she could convince anybody, even therapists, that she was nothing of the sort. If i tried to get someone to see how evil and fucked up she was, how dangerous she was, it always wound up with me looking like the crazy person. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS. Nobody... I try to explain what i went through, everybody seems to think they have a similar experience. I dont think any of them do... Its very... hard to cope with it all. I lost so much, yet it never even was mine. It didnt exist. Fuck!
😢 Sorry for your experience... Sounds like mine. You may want to work on becoming securely attached. You will learn a lot & avoid attracting these people. Blessings of Love & Protection!
So sorry for all you went through. These experiences are so f**** up that only people who also had a relationship with a NPD (or a BPD) can understand it. I hope you find yourself, and someone who deserves you. Therapy is also extremely important to heal from all this mind f****.
Feel you bruh.
Women have showed me their inner ugliness often.
You, my friend, have encountered an apex predator. You should feel fortunate to be alive after your experience.
I don't believe you have a specific skill attracting them. Like a burglar, they case everyone. You just happened to leave keys in the ignition.
Yo mamma or yo daddy is a narcissist , I bet. Heal it, so you don't repeat it.
My mother a narcissist. I had to sever the relationship.
We suffered as children from her ill ness. All these traits were spot on ,her personality. Thank you for validation.
I'm sorry but narcissism isn't an illness. At least until today it hasn't been medically admitted as such. So it's basically a choice to being an awful person. Of course there's an origin to every story, we're all a result of our childhood. I sincerely feel for you. A narcissistic parent is hell.
@@danieru911 I do realize it's not an illness. Yet it is a mental disorder, personality disorder,which all stems from a mental illness.
I lived,as well as my siblings did daily,and my father. All my siblings are deceased now,as well as my father. And I blame my mother's mental illness,as narssasism being one of the major factors in her mental illness.
@@camalaschlicher2778 i'm sorry for everything you've gone though. I send you digital hugs and lots of love.
@@camalaschlicher2778 We used to call it sin. Take a look at the Seven Deadly Sins and match them to a narcissist.
@@danieru911 as far as i understand its a terminal illness. Meaning there's no cure for them. Can it be learned or its hereditary? Parts yes and some can be hereditary. Ultimately though yes, they are choosing to be a horrible person
This is 100% on point. So sad listening to this as it all rings true. I know a female Narcissist from childhood and have seen her mother raise her as her own NPD projection. She's now a full fledged Narcissist. I remember when all this was budding and there was potential for change. Her older sister was marginalized as she didn't get all the attention.
Thank you very much and I wish you all the best.
Yep, seen it in my girlfriend. When I met first met my girlfriend, her mother was not in the picture, but later she was. I saw my girlfriend going from a real person to a TRUE Narcissist, just like her mother. I had to end this relationship with her, as she competed with and out me down constantly. I miss our getting together.......but, my ego could go NO lower. she told me I was ugly, when I'm really not. I believed her lies, and knew I had to break away from her negativity on me. She can live in here little World, all by herself. Now, her daughter needs to figure it all out because she was always putting her down too.
So destructive are these people. I have had so many in my life, including both male and female......and, I am afraid of even letting anyone in my life anymore. I didn't know what it was, but because of watching these types of videos, I now realize my life was FULL of them. NO MORE!
I am going through a separation, and this video has opened my eyes to the possibility my wife may be narcissistic. She spends money without remorse, regardless of whether it hurts our family so she can feel better. She always tells me she needs to be treated like a queen. In any argument, she can never face the responsibility of her actions and instead focuses on circling back to me in any way possible to get the fault to shift. The anger always goes to me, never to herself and her actions. She may occasionally own up, but it can take quite some time. She also sees any attempt at me to control our spending or living humbly at me trying to control her. She wants her freedom she has told me. She also always needs space which to me is a substitute for saying she wants to do what she wants to do when she wants to. She would always yell at me or put me down, and then when i would get angry it was my fault every time. Some arguments were really intense. The only way to diffuse anything was not by talking about it, but giving her a long time and space. Towards the end, she was abusive, mean and callous. When I would get upset to point this out, she would say I was the abusive one. Basically, it almost seemed like what she was telling me I was, was exactly how she was acting. Stress seemed to be a big catalyst, and in addition she was diagnosed with moderate to severe anxiety. Not sure if that couples with these traits. It was always her emotions over any logic or facts. It NEVER mattered what the reality was, only her feelings. I tried to listen to her feelings but they were usually so off base. My side is I shut down, stopped caring, stooped to her level. This is when she left. I feel bad for going that way, but once she didn’t find me useful she left. One month later she was dating another man. Got to get that supply. I filed for divorce even though she wanted it. I was done. I tried to make it work, but when they try to control you and won’t change and it affects the family, that is when I set my foot down. She didn’t care to change, so probably was for the best. 😔
"It never mattered what the reality was... only her feelings".
YES!! Absolutely agree with this.
@@devinaxtman6171
Let her go... I just told my ex last night to never ever text me again. It was the same story with her. It was all about her feelings. Could never put herself in my shoes and see what she did to hurt me. She does no wrong. Tries to make you apologize for something you didn't even do. Won't listen to your side of the story. 4 yrs down the drain for me over in the blink of an eye. You think you have a strong bond with someone until she finds something she doesn't like, takes everything out of context, makes up a fantasy story as to what happened, and nothing you can show her do or say can change her mind. It is scary. Then you try to speak to her as if she was a rational logical person but she isn't.
I'm sorry you are going through this and I know it's hard to be with someone that long and have it all fall apart. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. Remember that and know that it's for the best.
This was me two months ago before she took everything in our house n shifted to another house with our three kids.. Am starting from zero with nothing.. God pliz intervene
@@clement3164 feel you brother hang in there. God will show us the right path even if we cannot see it right now
Wow you've painted a picture of my situation nearly word for word
I don't think people attribute the title ' Narcissist ' to just men anymore. I'm sure anyone who knows what it means knows that there're just as many women who are too
Thanks for the video 🙏
Yeah I always felt more the other way...primarily women, though I know it's not necessarily the case. Probably because my mom and grandma are and so many people I know have narcissistic mothers...
We've known that for years, but it's just starting to become official in psychology circles. That being said, we live in a society that elevates women to unhealthy degrees in which they are often beyond reproach unless linked with something deemed undeniably evil (like narcissism) or countermanded by something held as superior to them (like science is often held as). So it's only now that we are starting to accept as a society that women can be just as destructive as men (and in fact, because of that protection, actually more destructive quite frequently).
BTW, not hating on women here... I was just raised by a highly narcissistic mother that did so much damage that I'm the only one to make a full recovery (after 30 years of hard work and almost dying 10 times, starting with my first suicide attempt at age 5 and literally dying of a broken heart by age 20). It's super destructive, and we protect it far too often and unconditionally (we just don't protect male narcissists nearly as much).
And even relaying your experiences and what you have observed like many other men the protective words of I’m not talking negative about women has to be put in comments I notice. Whereas when the conversation is in maladaptive men there is no such I’m not talking bad about men statements. Goes to show the level of protection they are given in micro ways.
@@mattwesley5911 Indeed
Geez, you clearly outlined I recently dodged a bullet. Never any empathy, validation, kind words, compliments, encouragement and most blatant, the absence of apologizing.
I’m glad that the information was helpful for you. Be safe and take care.
@@DrDanielFox People like you should really speak out against Anime and Manga, especially those which promote Narcissists like Asuka Langley Soryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Seriously entire generations of youth, teens and other people are being brainwashed into either becoming Narcissists, condoning Narcissists and falling victim to Narcissists.
I also have been abused by a girl who i met in a shelter we spent all day every day together but she stayed with other guys in the shelter, younger bad boys nothing worked out always came back to me , to get to the point ,i always told her how pretty she was, sexy, kind, always giving her confidence, but I was publicly put down called loser,ideot,liar can't do anything right, ect.other victim's no what I mean...
@@AffectionateDominoes-wn6iddude that’s female nature …women like bad boys who treats them bad…they are emotional roller coaster freaks …try this act like a bad boy once when u c a beautiful woman and observe how they’ll bite to ur new masked persona 😅
And if they do apologize it’s extremely disingenuous and no changes in behavior is made.
I genuinely think my mom is a narcissist or at least highly narcissistic. She fits so much of the behaviors, and is very toxic, but has never tried to get help.
Welcome to the club 💜
The child that is most peaceful is the one who spots it. And tends to be made the scapegoat child.
Nor will she. They don’t think there is anything wrong with them
Same
@@theunbreaking💯
My ex is diagnosed with BPD. Omg. As much as I loved and still love her, she has all the symptoms of a female narcissists.
I have a friend who is accomplished academically, she is always pointing it out and makes little comments about how more people need education, then will criticize others for what they're doing in life job or hobby wise. As of she has all the answers, she is really above us all..
That's just one of these traits I notice. But if you spend enough time with these people you will realize it's all a competition and that's all it ever was.
She does it because she's insecure. Only insecure people compare themselves to others.
You're pretty.
She's ugly.
There you go. You got gifted, she didn't. So, she overcompensates
As Dr. Ramani has said, these labels like 'narcissist' or 'sociopath' don't really matter so much these days as it's the abusive mechanisms that are used by people with these antisocial personality disorders that we must watch out for!
Whether or not someone is or is not a 'narcissist' is almost irrelevant!
NAMBRO = Narcissistic Abuse Must Be Rightfully OUTLAWED!
I agree
I was diagnosed 2012 with BPD, and just about everything I this video I could apply to my personal circumstances, after decades of rejection and complete separation from my mother I finally feel differently now, worked through so much, an on going lifestyle choice of healing. Thank you for sharing this Information 🙏 ❤
This is like me but mines is not about me always being right etc.I am now in therapy and progress not perfection. It is hard but I'm also learning how to do things the right way through aa a 12 step programme . Have also learned that the traits need to b consistent to b diagnosed. I have bpd. I owned my side of things xx
U seem to echo what's currently me. Kindly tell me how u healed/are healing! Show me the light
This is, hands down, the best video containing a list of qualities on the female narcissists available on the platform. Thank you so much!
Shame social media encourages narcissism. Seems we’re at an all time high.
Edit: thanks for the video. I wasn’t sure for a long time if I had two narcissistic parents but I’m now almost certain that my mother simply had adhd and a chaotic life that was almost always spinning her out. Good to know I can fix and maintain a relationship with her and I only need to cut out my father to find happiness.
My mother always blamed her failures on my sisters and I. I finally realized she was a bit off in my early teens. My sisters are in denial about her disorder
Nothing like walking into a workplace as a beautiful quiet humble soul and running into this type no matter the way you turn.
It’s crazy.
It’s promoted.
This sickness.
Psychopaths.
I'm in a situation like that.They even talk about me in my presence
@@ar-ry7bo I want to guess your field!
I’m an RN and it’s making me very ill. I feel completely exploited by these facilities and work alongside the most evil.
@@chilloften You guessed it.Its a care home
@@chilloften Are we in the same work place?😀
Shhhhh ppl....don't react stay chill😂
"I can be that caring mom ... up to this point" -- so spot on.
I've never read Yertle the Turtle, but I feel like I want to send it to my momster on her birthday. She had a face-lift and tummy tuck at 50 and has been a constant shopper for the most trendy, beautiful clothes she could afford. She had to move house every couple of years, upgrading along the way. It's never enough for her...never good enough. She was never a cheater, as she was raised during a time when being a loose woman was looked down upon as low status.
She was a child abuser, psychologically, physically, and financially. She was a spousal manipulator and financial abuser, and when one of her husbands wouldn't buy her a bigger home, she would divorce them. She did this twice.
She tried to turn my oldest sister into a perfect child, but my oldest sister ended up with BPD instead. She scapegoated the next child, my older brother. The 3rd child, my older sister, shows more covert traits, even in her early 60s. She is also a financial abuser and has enmeshed her youngest daughter, living with her and mooching financially off her and her husband.
I've cut contact with all of them. I don't wish them any harm, but I don't want to spend a single moment with any of them. It's too toxic for me, and it always has been.
If I had a dollar for every time she told me I didn't need to go to college because "beautiful young women marry wealthy men" I would have been a very wealthy young woman.
I really can't stand her. She sickens me. Oh, and she's a closet racist...because it serves her delusions of being superior to others. She's so ignorant it's not even embarrassing, it's funny.
As a young child, I always identified my mother with the Evil Queen in Snow White and Cinderella's evil, abusive Step Mother. As a teenager, I counted the days until I was 18 and could get away from her.
For most of her life, she was nothing more than a succubus, draining men of all their money and vitality until they died. My own father died from a heart attack at 50. She divorced her 2nd husband for not buying her a new house, and for prioritizing his own children instead of putting her first (her ego couldn't handle the fact that he loved his own children, too....and he always treated me with kindness and respect). Her third husband she divorced because as he was at the bank, about to sign the loan for yet another larger, more prestigious home, he backed away from the table and said he did not want to move. A month later she divorced him, saying it was the most embarrassing experience of her life (and it was not...that was another one of her exaggerations). She continued to have a relationship with him after the divorce because she was aging an unable to attract the same number of men she could when she first married him, and it was financially lucrative for her to associate with him. She found him dead one day, in his sleep, of a heart attack.
She just sucks the life energy out of men, until their hearts cannot take it anymore. She's like a serial killer but instead of torturing people sexually and discarding their body along the roadside like trash, she kills people financially and emotionally sucks the life out of them. Had she NOT divorced him for not buying her a bigger house, she would've inherited all his money and his military retirement as a Retired Colonel in the Air Force, but his children got it all instead, leaving her with nothing.
No idea whose life she is destroying now, as I cut all contact with her in 2004. Her parents truly destroyed her, her twin brother, and her older 8-year-old brother as young children. They, very sadly, didn't stand a chance of not becoming walking personality disorders after what both of their parents did to them as young children. That is the truth and the most heartbreaking aspect of her life.
Would you mind sharing what happened to her as a child?
😔❤
I consider myself unattractive but I have a nice little spirit on me and there have been times I've been around female narcissists who are considered conventionally beautiful and their brain literally seems to have a circut break if I get attention. ANY attention. It's really intense. There have been times someone has flirted with me and they just cannot handle it. I feel sad for them because they aren't authentic people and a lot of the people who may be interested in me are seeking that authenticity. They put so much work into manipulating people and getting their way that when they see someone who naturally has a power of attraction without fitting into the standards they work their lives to fit into, it really kills them inside. I used to make myself look even worse around them so they wouldn't be threatened - but that just makes them worse & that was wrong of me. I deserve to live my life as I am and not lower myself so other people are even more comfortable. I have a lot of shame for the years I did that. It's not fair to myself or to God
you might just have personality...something a narcissist can't buy....
You have depth, I'm an ok looking guy and believe me i will be looking for you and actively ignoring the female narcissists who expect me to give them attention, I won't eve acknowledge them now. It enrages them and I sense thst but don't care. Its about genuine attraction and depth, the things they lack so need to interrupt it.
You are spot on. I have seen the behaviour you described: actually i have seen where a couple is made the target of mocking abuse because the connection between the two was so despicable to the narc women.
Ha, i literally made crucifix fingers at a woman one night and told her not to look at me lol... Talking to the groups tallest woman had made her show her horns. That tall chick was so fine though lol.
This. My mother included.
Thank you for this very helpful video on female narcissistic traits. My mother was a narcissist. Your video helps me to better understand her relationships with me, her third son, my two older brothers, my younger sister, and my father. I appreciate your comments on money as it helps me understand why my father was so controlling of the family budget. He understood her spending habits, and tried to control them (quite successfully, it turned out). I appreciate your explanation of using her children, and the superficiality of the mother-child relationship. Being the Lost Child, I always thought it was my fault. Whew! And the promises made to the oldest son (the Golden Child) were, of course, never fulfilled. By discussing her ambition for recognition, you seem to predict the narcissist's way of achieving success in a few restricted areas of her life. My mother certainly did. She was labelled a "saint" by her long-term pastor when she passed away. It has made me question the whole category we call "sainthood." How many other evil narcissistic fakes do we honor as "saints?"
Mother Theresa, for one.
Wow! Your mother sounds like a twin for mine even down to the religious angle. So thankful I've had the courage to limit my interaction with her.
This is absolutely on point I was in a narcissistic relationship for 16 years..I’ve been discarded for the 5 th time .. she wanted more and more.. she hits almost all points.. I’m struggling with this..
go on walks, follow your passion.
I've been through it. 20-year marriage. Most painful thing I've been through. It takes time but you will heal if you give yourself the time. Main thing is to wise up, recognize the signs and never make that mistake again.
Thank You Dr. Fox . I have been dealing with this for decades now. It is very hurtful & damaging. I feel sad because my mother & sister have teamed up against me. There are 6 girls. I am thin like my dad was. I look more like my dad. I was happy and just enjoying life. My mother & sister are very close. Sister is spoiled. I get complimented for being pretty ever since we were kids. The other sisters & this one particular sister were overlooked. She & my mother have made my life a living nightmare. They once drove me to the deepest depression. Every accomplishment was dismissed. Every compliment for me was met with hostility. Both spread lies & rumors about me to this day. I was a minister. I became ill & could not be in the ministry anymore. My mom & sister spread vicious stories that were not true. My sister & mother persecuted me when I was a minister. Then my sister became a minister. She gloated & pummeled me from the Scriptures. She looks down on me and insults me because she is now a minister. I did not become a minister for glory like they kept saying about me. I was not being an attention seeker like they said. My sister is the one acting like the " Scribes & Pharisees". I had to go no contact because her & my mom's insults became too hurtful. Now she & my mom are obese and I am not. They attacked me about that by saying I'm " shallow & superficial". They are both hateful & have always been in a competition against me. I know I have not done anything to deserve this. I am not perfect because sometimes, I push back. They are vicious and enjoy treating me like this. EVERYTHING is a competition. I was not competing with them. They kept accusing me of it. They're happy to see I get sad when they act like the " mean girls" in high school.Thank You..I feel better after watching your video. I can see what was happening clearly.
It's very interesting - it's a textbook description of my sister. I've often wonder whether there's also an overlap with things like oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder. My grandmother warned my parents when she was very young that they'd have terrible trouble with her - she quite literally told my parents that my sister 'would always go where the grass was greener!' As a teen, she stole money from myself and my parents and the police became involved when it transpired that she had taken my parents' ATM card and withdrawn money on numerous occasions. She latched on to a man in her later teens with money and married him - We later found out that he was a drug dealer and that she'd also been syphoning money out of him. They divorced when she found someone else who had more money, and he found out she was cheating on him (not for the first time). Since then, she became very successful in MLM, an industry I believe is notorious for being a magnet for narcissists. She is now almost 50 and has had plastic surgery on numerous occasions. I feel very sorry for her children - they're all essentially objects that she uses for attention for herself. Interestingly, her two youngest children have been diagnosed with ADHD. My parents said the youngest child reminded them very much of my sister. They found her going through their luggage, looking for something to take. When my parents challenged her, she became aggressive and unpleasant. Does make you wonder how much of a generic element there is.
Is your mother a similar way? Because I don't feel it's genetics so much as it is mother's passing narc traits down to daughters (common) and sons . But yeah it can totally overlap with things like ODD and other diagnoses.
@@hotfudgecake There are certainly some traits in my mother's family. Her father and in particular his mother were terrible snobs. My mother and my grandmother had a very bad life with him. But my mother always has had very conventional morality and was loving. Stealing and cheating appalled her. Interestingly, my dad's side of the family has had a lot of trouble. My dad's brother was in court twice for stealing from his job. We found out from my cousin, his son, that he'd also actually stolen from him when he was a teenager - taken his ATM card too and withdrawn the money. He also cheated on his wife and had a very grandiose sense of self, although he never amounted to much. The generation before that, my dad's uncle, was also apparently very similar. My dad himself has a lot of the traits of ADHD: the quick temper, the difficulty in processing decisions and the wandering mind - he though has a very rigid sense of black and white morality and was appalled by it all too. A couple of my cousins are like my sister - one developed a bad drug habit, stole from my aunt and went round posing as a qualified nurse to get work. Another has the fiery temper and emotional instability. He too was in trouble as a teen for stealing and is very much the outcast of his siblings.
@@zeddeka It sounds like you're implying ADHD and NPD traits are related, or at least conflating them. Why connect ADHD to narcissism? Black and white thinking, one of your examples of ADHD, is not a sign or symptom of ADHD. It is a symptom of anxiety, but everyone suffers from anxiety. Please do not further stigmatize people with ADHD by relating it to narcissism. it does not further understanding on these issues and its ableist.
Youtr poor parents. How heart breaking for them and also you.
@@matilda4406 it's very interesting - she had a problem with a valve in her stomach and was in and out of hospital a lot during her first year. My parents said they spoiled her to make up for it. I'm her younger sibling and she's been pretty awful to me throughout her life, although I haven't had any contact with her since 2003. My parents definitely didn't enable that, but she was always awful when they weren't there. I stopped speaking to her after an event in 2003 when I passed my masters degree, and as was pretty commonplace then, my parents put a little thing in the local newspaper to say congratulations. Despite the fact that she was 30 years old, she absolutely exploded. She rang around all the extended family telling them I was gay (pretty homophobic family), and that she had been abused by my parents when a child (TOTALLY untrue). She also took all the toys my parents had bought her young daughter and left them on my parents step one night. We found out a couple of months later that she had emigrated to Australia with her then husband and that she'd actually been planning it for months. That all exploded too - after getting there, she started an affair with another man who she thought had more money than her husband. She and the first husband had a very nasty breakup and her poor young daughter ended up in therapy - she wouldn't eat because she thought everyone was trying to poison her. My sister subsequently got heavily involved in MLMs and made a bucket load of money (apparently MLMs are like a magnet for Narcissists). But she left a trail of destruction behind her too. One MLM she worked for put out a public statement saying they were going to sue her for breach of contract and that she and her new husband were greedy, unscrupulous people. Also lots of people on Facebook complaining how she used and abused them. Time doesn't seem to have changed her, other than the huge amount of plastic surgery she's had. She recently gave a testimonial online about some company. She had breast cancer, like my mother had, and talked about how she'd only got checked because she had a dream telling her. Again, a total lie. She'd been getting checked regularly since my mother had it in the 90s.
My mother was one and I suffered from her machinations all my life.
She belittled, shamed and made fun of me and then in turn my stepfather. The damage that they inflict behind your back is beyond wicked.
Sorry man, this type of abuse goes unnoticed unfortunately
Don't worry bro, they will pay for it eventually. I wish you well
My mom is a covert narcissist and I feel constantly anxious that I'll turn into her. I just want my own children to feel loved unconditionally and happy
Don't worry to much , if you fear turning into her,it means you're not like her
Yes!
😮 woah that running example was exactly what my mother would do to me. She’d say I needed to loose weight- she hardly cooked - only fast food . When I did get out of shape she’d take me running n literally ditch me - everything was a competition with her entering my teens . Great insightful video 💜⚡️
I wanted to be a successful and independent woman my entire life. What I’ve found is, due to my empathetic nature, it’s nearly impossible to the pay and “rank” I’ve been working towards because I can’t hurt others to get there (to the top) it’s not in me. I’d rather be poor than not be myself. It’s been a rough lesson. I also refuse to be with a man who has no problem hurting others to get to the top. I’m doomed 😅. My mother, god rest her soul, always told me that I’ll get my wings in heaven. So, until then……..
Wanna bone?
Same. Beating others to be at the top is not me. I'd rather help others and help them from behind. it gives me fulfilment. But my experience being bullied during my childhood makes me highly sensitive with arrogant people. That's why I can spot a narcissist man and woman.
I’m a man and feel the exact same way. Why should I be given luxuries when millions of other people will never have the opportunity. Stepping over others and using others to get to your spot in life is an entirely other thing too. Being a man with empathy gets criticized in this world by other men, so having friends and relationships becomes a lot tougher.
You can be firm but fair. I believe in you. I have seen people who are not aggressive do well when they are willing to have conversations fearlessly and don't loose composure. That being said, I work outdoors with plants and are a union rep, I find it easy to fight for the group, hard to fight for myself.
My NPD GF had a favorite child, her first born son. Her younger daughter could never measure up, and knew she was not the favorite. Her daughter had been a little heavy as a child but now, in her early thirties, suffered anorexia nervosa where she was frequently hospitalized for the condition. In my view she was trying desperately to please her mother and get her approval. My GF was also a controlling and obsessive, "healthy,” eater. Everything had to be organic, salt free, farm raised, which her daughter also emulated. (She was rail thin.)
Into this crazy mix was me trying to maintain a relationship. She had many good qualities. Extremely attractive, dressed perfectly and was very successful and smart. She was also, controlling, very jealous, never apologized had few friends and on a cycle of losing her temper and having senseless tantrums over issues so small I never knew what set her off. I was so anxious, my own heath was affected. I got Shingles and heart palpitations and was jumpy all the time. Finally, after watching endless videos on narcissism and personality disorders I had the validation I needed to leave for good. I was trauma bonded but slowly it’s gotten better.
Now, could I have spotted this sooner. No. Why? she was the most perfect human being on the planet for about nine months. She held off with the tantrums until then and by that time I was hooked line and sinker. I didn’t have the experience. I think now I might be able bail after the first crazy episode but then I assumed it was a one off thing. Good luck everyone!
I have found narcissistic women to be very draining, and you are never done trying to help or please them. You have to walk away no matter how hopeful for change because it will never really happen.
Going thru all of this with my ex. This is a person who told me she has trouble “putting herself in other peoples shoes.” She has made everything since our split way more difficult than is necessary. She has kept a iron grip on our kids even tho they are asking for more time with me.
I’m sorry to hear that. Lots of strength.
My ex is doing the same thing to me.bnot allowing me to se my kids
She sounds BPD/NPD
It has been my .experience that there is a disturbing jealousy attached to it as well, or at least, it can be attached. Thanks for sharing and I appreciate the depth you put into your presentations. Personally, I am appalled at how we do not look at narccisism as a disorder in females, as observationally, I see a lot of it. It is amaziing what happens when you try and make someone look at themselves obectively, when they do not have that abilty in the prefrontal cortex.
Diagnosed npd narcissistic personality disorder
You know, the sooner we can see that we never can change them, make them more insightful, more empathic, fairer - the sooner we muster the honesty to say thanks and good bye, I'm better off on my own, single and alone, and I don't need a trophy, your looks, nor your money - I long for real human connection, the better.
(Btw, almost all women know, that there is female narcissism, even if psychologist wouldn't taken an interest.)
@@DNA350ppm It is very rampant, though. It seems that in the back of my head, I am always trying to filter tht ouot of the new people I meet, or communicate with. The love bombing and sex bombing can do some serious to damage to empathic men, as well as the from narcissistic males on females. I try to explain narcissism in the way that I have been learning, but I come across deaf ears. Clearly, I don't believe we are learning it the riight way, otherwise, it would remain that way for their entire life.
@@Craigdna I think thorough-bread narcissists stay such all of their lives. You cannot change them whatever you might do. Most women are not narcissists, I can assure you, but a specific man might have a repetition compulsion because of his upbringing. In a Freudian sense he has an urge to play with fire to learn to deal with it.
A healthy way to deal with it, is to learn to notice narcissism, be immediately aware of its danger and the attempts to get you sucked in - and be strong enough to stay far from it. That's a huge win, but a narcissist will never recognize your victories. But never mind - it is important that you yourself give yourself the kudos and awards you deserve - you can do it, and then the world looks so much better and friendlier and more welcoming. All the best wishes to any victims of narcissistic abuse, may you heal and find inner peace and harmony with the help of your own strength and good values. Be brave and stubborn, as your own compass has a true North, because you have fairness and love to measure others with. Follow your bliss!
Jealousy can arise in the narc female even if she has more material things and a more attractive appearance than the person of whom she is jealous. There is always some trait or some thing another has that she is envious of .....never satisfied.
This all describes my ex-wife exactly. It’s pretty crazy how accurate and specific it all is. No wonder there was no compromise with her and I simply had to leave her.
Be happy now and learn from it!
I had a child and lived with one for 7 years. Probably right up there with one of my life's worst experiences. She found a richer supplier and made me out to be the worst human ever when, in fact, she was. The lies to the courts were extensive and complete fabrications. She knew how to play me and the system. It was an awful time. Later, when she had trouble with her new guy, she tried to bring me back in. I knew better and ran away. One of the best decisions I've ever made as I met an angel six months later. I had the best loving relationship with that angel that anyone could possibly have for thirty years up until her death. It was the best thirty years of my life. Running away is good sometimes.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's inspiring to see how you turned a difficult situation into a positive outcome. Your resilience is commendable!
This is spot on. My narc ex, tiktoker, after I left her, she masked up...went on her tiktok lives snd started dressing way more revealing...her new supply is s guy that was attracted to that through her tiktok, she moved all the wsy across the country to live with him and went back to dressing how she normally does. And yeah, everything else you mentioned in this, literally everything, she did. It's scary how accurate this is, its scary that people like this just flock amongst us, men sbd women. Its not spoken about enough how much damage these people can do, especially to someone with mental health issues already... they'll absolutely wreck you by the end. Usually if you have the courage enough to leave them or they leave you, many people struggle severely after. When you finally get away from them, it's like stepping back into an alternate universe. That's what I'm going through now.
My mother is a grandiose narc and she definitely ticked all the boxes. Obsessed with money and looking successful. Cheating on my father. Always putting down others to nake herself look and feel superior. Having a Golden Child that she consistently favors.
Well that sounds familiar 😅 except i got even worse and got the covert not grandiose. Its good to know whats happened with all the information available now
My step-daughter is highly narcissistic. She hates me for taking the central place in her father's life. She has been belittling me, poisoning my relationship with my husband. She's so jealous of anyone and anything that she can't stand anyone being well, happy and successful.
It's a shame nobody writes about evil spirited step children, but almost every story is about evil step mothers.
Is her mother around? She might be poisoning the well. If you get the chance, read about parental alienation syndrome. Some children fall victim to it, and it not only ruins their relationship with the alienated parent, but also future relationships. I know this doesn't directly apply to you, but it could be that a narcissistic adult is manipulating the child, and therefore, it's not entirely the child's fault. If I had heard of parental alienation syndrome earlier, I would have made much more patient loving decisions, instead of the angry judgemental ones I made instead (lol). Live and learn, I guess.
Narcs comes in all shapes, colours and varieties.
Entitlement, lack of empathy, infidelity, financial abuse and manipulation...all things I suffered from my ex-boyfriend. He caused me soooo much hell!
This is about a female narcicistic partner
@@rockkjjuice7514they always find a way to make it about both genders.. I hate when they do that
@@brendanvasquez i know right.... WOMEN ☕️
I think my baby momma got this.. im pretty sure she destroyed any relationship I have with ex n friends of mine.
I’m sure the girl who dumped me before Christmas is a covert narcissist. At first I was devastated but now that I feel free and she done me a massive favour
My neighbor decided to hook up w/& allow this "thing" to move in his house & LITERALLY TAKE OVER. As I watched from the safety of my property, more & more alarms started going off in my head... she was making decisions & he was just DOING whatever she wanted... It was surreal!!! Things like fences for the dogs who previously enjoyed playing in his huge back yard... She was driving his $85,000 custom Rubicon...not her Acura that remained parked... none of his friends ever came over anymore... She exploded at me for dropping off a piece of equipment that needed a new chord!!!... completely brainwashed him to turn on me(after 12.5 YEARS of amiacible neighbor interaction!!!), & ***I WALKED AWAY FROM BOTH OF THEM 7/21/21.***
She watched my every move from his windows for the next year... While contractors (Amish Deacon) were installing a metal roof, she paraded around in SEE-THROUGH PAJAMAS(the Deacon told me he'd instructed his sons to "look away" while she was outside- the Deacon called her "a pig.")!!! It was after the metal roof was finished that her antagonist taunting exploded: she called police for EVERYTHING... even someone dropping off wildlife(I'm a licensed rehabber)!!! She gaslit everything..."I WAS A LYING FRAUD WHO DIDN'T OWN THAT HOUSE..? MY VEHICLES WERE ILLEGAL!!! POLICE NEEDED TO ARREST ME!!!" ...& everything NUCLEAR DETONATED ***WHEN SHE STOLE MY 2 OUTSIDE CATS & KILLED THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!*** (9/17-8/22)...then lied through their teeth to police. He was actually backing her up!!!!!!!!!... cats that prior to her, HE CLAIMED TO LIKE & HAD NO PROBLEM WITH...FOR 11 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had 2 intense meetings with police (12/27/22 & 1/16/23), where I COVERED their 8' table w/DOCUMENTS...they couldn't get to the copy machine fast enough... Licenses, DEEDS, IRS 501c3 Certificates, Incorporation documents, University Degrees, NASA FEDERAL SECURITY CLEARANCE!!!..... The Town CLEARANCE to open & operate a wildlife hospital, dated 11/10/2002!!! I proved all her claims to be OUTRIGHT LIES... but that only made her double down... "Those papers are FRAUDS!!!"
I installed 125' of 8' high Stockade security fence 3/23/23... She screamed soooo loud, I had to contact the Town Supervisor directly, who promptly sent police to make sure my surveyor & contractor could complete the job. Threats galore..charging me... menacing, swinging something in hands...
Reality check:
>>>I can't change the fact that I'm 118 lbs & wear a size 4 Jean, vs her 225 lb 5' frame in too tight 20W clothes
>>>REALITY sucks when you LOST your state nursing license because of unethical activities, but I'VE BEEN A LICENSED CLASS 2(meaning I teach it) WILDLIFE REHABILITATOR 27 YEARS... A Master's Degree in Biochemistry, & spent DECADES in biomedical research, including flight biological research at KSC.
>>>A SEVERELY MODIFIED 2008 50th Anniversary Edition Impala LTZ IS NOT ILLEGAL: Chevy & race track pit crews call Her "The Blacktop Dragon"... & I can thread a needle with Her, at about 110mph!!!🏁🏁🏁
>>>The murders of my beloved cats IS A DOUBLE FELONY IN MY STATE, & the investigation is open & ongoing...
>>>NO ONE, not even you, NARCISSIST, can take down this INTJ... look at the now over 2 YEARS of your attempted bully tactics...& you're no closer to running me off than you were 3 years ago... All that wasted time & effort... Yet my businesses are prosperous & stable, I continue to maintain MY HOME, My Blacktop Dragon is still smokin the roads, & Oh Geez...NOT A SINGLE TICKET!!!!!!
This narc, folks, is a REAL MORON!!! But by all means narc, continue... Because you're HANDING ME A CLASS ACTION WIN IN STATE SUPREME COURT!!!...
...stay tuned....🖤🏁
What a NIGHTMARE! Seriously. 🙏 For your strength and a victory going through all this. INSANE PSYCHO. Wow!
That would be such a weird experience. Knoowing what i know now id be itching to intervene, amd likely drop hints to them of whats happening.
@@AwakenedAvocado Smirking...
In my classic style, I have maneuvered LAW ENFORCEMENT into position... It's Police, Courts & TOWN OFFICIALS that are currently in the process of LOWERING THE SLEDGEHAMMER ON THEM... I'm watching it all play out, from the safety of my own property, under the watchful eye of my surveillance system...
Stay tuned...🖤🏁
@@catherinerhea6336 i mean it sounds insame amd like alot of exerted energy on your point but it SOUNDS like you are in the right and if she did actually kill your cats well i hope she gets it. As an animal person, you may also know that the way someone treats animals tells you all you need to know about them as a person.
@@AwakenedAvocado You are 🎯 on all your assertions...
I am established...run a FULLY LICENSED wildlife hospital out of my home... And do cat rescue w/half a dozen other rescue agencies- I'm a rescue outreach satellite. The 2 cats she stole & killed I RESCUED AS 3 WK OLD ORPHANS IN 4/2009!!! This is the only home they ever knew & they were happy, contented, sweet boys, who made sure the rodent population was held in check for 11 YEARS... until narco decided Zach & Balu were gonna be her weapons to break me!!! 9/17-18 will be the one-year anniversary of their abduction & murder....they didn't deserve her bullshit & neither do I. New York State, my county & TOWN are ALL involved in going after her... It won't bring my beautiful boyz back...but it WILL stop her from harming any other animals.
Thanks for your interest & support... It DOES matter.💞🐾🐱🖤
Several of the traits you listed I have deeply entrenched: self-doubt, fear, guilt, inferiority, shame.. But I don’t have the false sense of confidence, attention-seeking, putting others down. I’d be curious to learn why some develop those narcissistic traits and others do not. Thanks for the video Dr Fox.
Theory:
A low self esteem extrovert becomes a malignant narc.
A low self esteem introvert becomes a covert or vulnerable narc.
@@thereisnosanctuary6184exactly
@@thereisnosanctuary6184 ... in the Halls of Shambala. Great song, by the way!
I was listening to Jung's work the other day and he said something like , "an inability to stop the bad behaviors causes the personality to fragment" or something like that... And it becomes a pattern and deep ingrained way of being ... Because if they allow themselves to do bad things they have to justify to themselves why it's ok...
We all have the narcissistic traits and bad thoughts etc... But we have tried to stop ourselves from doing bad things most likely based on the internal recognition of feelings that don't feel good... So like if I steal something from a store, if I were a narcissist, I would tell myself that I deserve what I stole and that the store owed me or whatever... And this would happen over and over again which kinda trains the brain to think in a certain way over time.
And to add to my comment and answer the other part of the question why do some develop and others do not is based on heredity and environment. If you have love and a parent who can mirror your emotions and mirror to you love and acceptance and safety, trust then you begin to develop a sense of self ... In my own life, I had a father who loved me and this gave me some sense of self ... A connection to self helps to build self confidence, an internal picture of who you are ... So when we have a chance to lie or whatever we can stay with our true feelings and feel that lying in most cases is wrong and not do it, and not have to justify anything to ourselves. :) Hope this doesn't make things more confusing ;)
Narcissism is shaped by the environment in which we live in. Western countries especially materialistic nations attract narcissists because it caters to the narcissistic ideals self idealization, material gratification, stepping on and using others to gain for ones own self, lying manipulating in order to achieve a superficial goal etc etc.
This was my childhood best friend. What makes it confusing is when they try to flatter or buy gifts. Because it contradicts all the other traits.
Often the flattery or gift-giving is done to create a bond with someone whom they will later mistreat.
In my experience the narc’s gift giving is often to people who respond enthusiastically which will then supply the narc with the attention they crave.
Popularly, they speak about women with Daddy Issues and Male Mother Need. But, I see a lot of women with terrible relationship to their own mother.I think a lot of women are broken from their toxic mother. I'm both parents-broken. The opposite of toxic isn't nontoxic, it's ambivalent. Like temperatures, one is too hot, the other too cold. Only that happy medium is warm. Don't know what that feels like, but I'm certain I try and replace mom and dad with women and men I meet. Never lasts. I don't need a caregiver, but just some support, advice. Instead I get one sided friendships that end after I'm no longer considered fun. I am fun. But, I'm not shallow. People want unproblematic, low to zero maintenance, entertaining friends. Not another life to solve.
I was raised by a narcissist. She'll die alone and she earned it. I feel parentless - like I had no mother or father. I'm interested in how narcissists turn their children into people who become ALMOST like them without the malice. I feel like a weird shadow of my mother. Even as a child I judged her judgment of others. I found her cruel and uncaring to the poor, or helpless. In adult life, I crave approval, but love it when others get it. I take joy in the accomplishments of others, but have the fear and shame of a narcissist when I don't succeed. Then again, maybe success is something we've turned into something so toxic in this society, I would feel like this anyway. Why am I "half" bad?
@@kssendthemamessage6818 it’s so kind of you to say that, thank you.
@@kssendthemamessage6818 your reply wasn't for me but it helped me too. Thank you.
Sound healthy to me.
Years ago my ex went on a chat line to say her husband did not want her to go out with other men. What a cheek she said. She then left me with 5 children still living at home, the youngest being our 12 yr old daughter. She has just resurfaced after 19 years wanting the house that I live in with 2 adult of our adult children to be sold because she received an inheritance from her mother's estate, which was not enough to buy a suitable house. I go to court in 9 days time.
Good luck. Keep your cool.
Richard Grannon hypothesized that most of the time female narcissists are misdiagnosed as BPD - because apparently that’s more acceptable in retaining the victimhood status of women.
More likely because female narcs tend more toward covert or vulnerable narcissism where as men are more often overt.
@@dawn1355 true. They tend to be more covert and just as bad.
This analysis tallies with the reality of my experience, especially the 'money = status and points' enabling domination and control of the target, particularly if the target has way less money or "less" valued social status as perceived by the narcissist. Thank you for elucidating and making this really clear and concise. These videos are like a free public service for mental health and living abuse free. Thank you.
They are like my dogs, I love observing my dogs…it brings me joy. Poppy and Paxton look so much alike. I like watching them….
So cozy and sweet, sometimes a bit sassi .:..and.i love the “Wahooo’s” . Those make my day ♥️
People out there I want to let you know this guy did a perfect example of explaining the scenario that you know that we all deal with give this guy thumbs up and subscribe he seems to know what he's talking about.
People need to call them out. They'll never learn how they hurt others. Its called putting yourself in other people's shoes. Its a thought process about others. Believe me they'll keep up their horrible behaviors. I've noticed its passed down and baby boomers are worse. I can't stand people that need so much attention. Actually they'll never get enough attention no matter how many people are around.
Great video and well explained! Love the comparison between how the female narcissist vs. Histrionic will dress. I have a family member who's histrionic and you're so right, inappropriate dress at all times. I saw a woman once who exactly reminded me of this family member and I knew before she spoke that she was histrionic based on how she was dressed, and of course she went on to display the characteristics for the entire room, because the entire room needed to be part of her drama.
Narcissistic personality traits are a part of the human condition. We are all in our own thoughts and emotions so we experience it alone. Being able to express compassion, empathy, loving others for who they are… all need to develop from when we are born, we are raised and go through developmental stages. Sometimes there is a pause in this process, and this is what triggers many different personality disorders! Therapy is required to go back and understand what they didn’t get in their childhood! It requires work with a trained therapist/ psychologist. No quick fix. If any. Unfortunately our medical health care system doesn’t provide coverage for psychiatric services. Psychological services. It’s a shame insurance covers so little!
I learned so much from your talk! You described my mother AND my sister perfectly. 🙁
Glad it was helpful! Be well
I realize my wife is a narcissist because she never takes accountability and I can never have a rational conversation and she lies and won’t even acknowledge when facts are presented. She will always deflect and even turn it around on me and want me to believe. I’m filing for divorce this week. There’s nothing that I can say or do to change her behavior and I’m not like her mother and sisters husbands that have been taught that they must be passive. Otherwise their marriage would have failed. A living nightmare. Truly a nightmare. I was married to a normal woman for 30 years and never experienced anything like this.
Sorry to hear that. It sounds difficult. I wish you well.
Nearly every single narcissist traits I’ve had with my ex gf I’ve watched so many videos and I’m still thinking maybe I’m crazy but I think it’s my mind only realising after the breakup she’s a narcissist because at the time I thought she was absolutely perfect they really mess with your mind
Went thru the same thing. The best thing I heard that made realize I wasnt crazy or doubting myself was from my friend who said, "There is a reason why a woman that beautiful is single at our age"
All of them are
They make you feel like you’re losing your mind. They never take blame. They look at themselves in the mirror like they’re wanting to have sex with themselves. They’re ruin your life! Escape now
Alchololism
Control
Silent treatment for control
Gaslighting
User
Co-depency
My way or the highway
Gossip
Manipulation
And let’s not forget the copycats who just want to be you . They are jealous and start dressing like you, try to sing, try to play the guitar, try do the same job. Good luck trying to be me, lol. Also I am humble the narsisist will do anything for attention and then be critical of you to bring you down.
Criticism is a big one!
This describes the snake that I finally got rid after using me for a place to live and bringing all their toxic traits and chaotic lifestyle into my peaceful existence
What I've found about female narcs that I've dealt with. Is that they have the emotional mentality of a 12 year old. Maybe that's where they were damaged beyond and were never able to grow. As they get older and never do the shadow work. They get even worse. And all the hope, care and support in the world can't force an ego death. I guess that's why they say there's no cure for narcissism. Sad.
Maybe psychedelics
I gave your BPD workbook to a friend and she actually received it in a positive way. Thank you!
Wonderful!
I cannot be 100% sure but I believe I was with for two years a covert female narcissist. I got treated very very good for the first 5 to 6 months. Then things started to happen. She was always right, never wrong, when I would tell her I loved her, she would only say "I know that". Never tell me she loved me. Belittled me many times. I was always on the bottom of her list to be with. Always in the events helping out, doing may charity functions, being with her friends, but I was on the last of the list. There were times I would feel drained when I got back home. Told me how to dress and there were times I didn't really know who I was anymore.I broke up with her three months ago, and I heard she has been seeing somebody else since last month. She’s only 5 foot one, but she has an ego of 10 feet. She is now with a new supply, and they go places a lot and he spends time at her place a lot. "She is not posting anything on social media. Not letting anyone know". I have driven by her house and always see his car there. I am having a hard time getting over her even though I broke it off. I guess it’s because she has somebody, and she’s happy with, and I am still without a partner. BTW: she is 70 and so am I. Just having a hard time gripping this.
Bro, age aside, I've been through this. It gets easier. But you really have to cut ties and remind yourself why you broke it off. They're very good at making it look like they're happy but when you think of it she's probably just doing the same to that guy. You escaped. Live the rest of your life free from this attachment. All the best!
She is not happy..she is playing the same bs with her new "supply"...you are probably a wonderful person who deserves so much more, so stay away, she will never change.
❤
Weve all been there ... remember all the things you wrote !! Your better off without her ...don't torture yourself by checking on her ....
I'm 68 and broke free at 65. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Two years of steady pain but starting to feel like my old self again. You will too but not if you keep driving by her house.
Everything you said corresponds with my findings. How she treated me, how she related to others, how she sees herself, how important money and status are for her, how she treats her kids… I’m happy we divorced after 10 years together. Like you said, it was like running a marathon where the limits keep being moved. It’s four years now we haven’t seen each other. I’m broke, she sucked me dry. I never want to see that devil again. My lawyer will have to sort it out in court.
I’m glad you found the video helpful. Be well.
Thats sucks man
Get to driving trucks now you're single and free. You'll be unbroke pretty quick
@@allan8936 Jeah, maybe, but I’m lucky with my dog, I love him and he loves me, we go nowhere where he’s not allowed. It makes life so much easier.
@@fasttrackblastback8286 I like your remark, and normally I would follow your advice. But I have worn out knees.
My mother was a narc and was constantly jealous and in competition with me and now my daughter desires the attention of my husband while spurning me. They both did weird things to praise my husband and demean me, even talking to him in ways that would make me look bad so my husband would be angry with me. It only worked a short time while he was with them but when we are alone he is completely different, even appreciating me. I try not to spend time with these kinds of people because my husband has a problem with wanting people to like him and going along with them.
Wow, thank you for this video. That explained so much things for me. I wish I could speak with you and pick your brain on the subject. Thank you again for the great information and I'll now watch your other videos.
I'm so glad you found the video helpful! Feel free to reach out anytime; I love discussing these topics!
I have suffered one such lady: aggressively entitled, obsessed with looks / high cost clothes and jewellery, grabbing things, treating parents in law with contempt and attitude of all of yours is mine by right but I will not share anything, including what I took from others by force. Cannot work or earn their needs- but grab from others in family - especially spouse and his parents.
This seems a very simplistic description when narcissism is far more complex.
I live with two female narcissists, one is a vulnerable classic and the other is Machiavellan with a hint of psychopathy.
That's next level masochism lol
@@coinspeednews4703 just two elderly ladies... but good to know this about them ;)
@@pisztufilm Yeah, being elderly definitely doesn’t change anything.😂 My mom is one.
Yep
They never stop either. Mine is my ex-employer. She is so mad I quit her mentally draining job, that she can't stand me being successful outside of her business. It's so sad, I pray for her healing because I feel sorry for her. Must be lonely, and such a sad life. I'd hate to be her.
Really do agree with you on all of this! Excellent outlay of this topic. I do wonder though if they are or are not aware of their “maladaptiveness.” I want to believe that on some level they know what they are doing, and that’s why they keep doing it knowing that their “maladaptive narcissism” works like a charm.
Thank you for your feedback! It's great to hear that you found the topic well presented.
After the fact it's easy to say...love and appreciate yourself and don't let anyone belittle you and you believe it. Leave any woman or man that doesn't show care thats real.
My mom will meet these and every woman I have fought with.
That certainly makes for difficult relationships. I wish you well.
My mom meets a lot of narcissistic stuff, too.
So one thing I think the video didn't underline as much as I think it could have is the core level of insecurity that is where the rest of the behaviors sprout from (now having watched the video). I think you did a good job showing that she will not admit being wrong or at fault on vulnerable issues.
I'm 37 and been in therapy since age 25 doing a modern psychoanalysis framework. Being the son of a woman like this has made it very difficult for me to have intimate and lasting romantic relationships. But I am at the point where I can see my mother's issues have come from her unresolved and unprocessed hurt, pain, trauma, and I can see where she is coming from and that I have accepted I will not ever be validated or feel adequate from words that come from her. She will always play devils advocate or stab harder when I need comfort, security, and acceptance.
Other women who are disapproving tend to be those I have transference issues of mother onto them.
I'm beginning to suspect that all these disorders sit below the personality and express themselves through it. So a person who is "naturally" inclined towards shyness, bookishness, self-deprecation, etc, can have (probably) the Covert version of Narcissism, and act within the confines of that personality type, but in a narcissistic way. The more passive a person's personality is, the more passive aggressive their narcissism will be.
Or maybe I'm mistaking BPD for NPD.
What you said in this video is absolutely accurate. I just moved away from a housemate who displayed every single one of these traits. Thank you for the insight.
Thank you for bringing up this topic. I was beginning to think that female narcissists are very rare.
My daughter is a narcissist and it has destroyed our relationship and as a result is destroying my relationship with my grandchildren. I really have to keep her at a distance because I physically and mentally cannot handle her abuse. It’s heartbreaking for me and I’m trying to decide if I should keep her in my life or just walk away. I’m at the end of my rope with her.
Has she been diagnosed by a professional as a narcissist or is that your personal opinion?
@@SmithpollyRight?.. I am curious as well. Also, the poster surely must have some form of notification (to see these responses). As a parent myself. No matter how hurt I've been from the interactions I've had with my children, would ever cut them out of my life.. help your child to correct her behavior before its been embedded into the next generation of your family for crying out loud.
@@GamerOnLoanIf a relationship with her daughter is at the expense of the rest of the family and other kids/grandkids I hope she does cut her off…. Unlike my own mother who will choose one of my brothers over the rest of us, even though that comes with along with his manipulation and insanity. She will choose him until the end I fear……..
I had an ex that seduced me when I was being counselled by her. I was living in a hostel in my 20s and she was living in luxury and in her 40s.
I know now that she was narcissistic and I think that therapy careers attract such sorts (both male and female).
People should be heavily vetted before being allowed into that line of work.
My narc mother trained my daughter very well from a young age. I didn't know what narcissists were until about a year ago, I just knew it was some kind of horrible manipulation. My daughter is obsessed with her hair, wears v cut or low-cut tops, and then makes a point of telling men, "Hey, my eyes are up here, I'm talking to you!" She would say your makeup looks nice but... . She would cut my hair and I ended up looking chopped but "you don't appreciate what I do for you." Her fave saying is " my husband " who is a good lap dog. A yes honey man, no matter how much she rags him and directs his every move including how often he is allowed to see his parents. I await the day when he finally grows a pair and leaves her. She's an Amazon addict and has things delivered several times a week. Keeps the credit cards on 0 balance and expects him to make up the difference for the next purchase. It's stunning to me. Her behavior forced me to move 2 states away and cut all communications with her. It's funny how much better I'm feeling and doing in life now. Thank God!