Teacher: are you a boy or a girl? Me: I’m Venezuela Teacher: excuse me, *what?* Me: like the place in Africa Teacher: *hsuwgshaiyshsowhjzbsjwfsohsksvdkowvzh*
When life gives you lemons, plant them to make more lemons. Then find the best way to refine them to what the market wants, and sell them at a rate where you have overall profit while keeping up with the current demand. With the money, either invest in the lemon business or spend it on something other than lemons for your happiness.
"When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons; what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down... with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!" -Cave Johnson
I actually Googled what red velvet cake is made of myself. The ingredients list, in the order they appeared: -Cake -Red -Cream cheese -Food -Icing -Buttermilk
*"What the hell is going on in the Philippines"* Well you have an incompetent government, people who are defending the said incompetent government and a steadily rising number of cases due to said incompetence. And did I mention how incompetent the government is?
13:50 I just used a calculator to see how many minutes were in a year and sure enough there are 525,600 minutes in a year so yes, they did have a premium subscription
2:01 I like how there's the wrong image on screen. The image that should've been there was a police Twitter account saying "I just smashed 93 ants in this awesome game, #AntSmasher"
I paused the video at the”I WILL HEAL THE PHILIPPINES” and cracked up for about a minute. Then I replayed the video only to find “AND THE WHOLE WORLD” Safe to say I went into hysterics
It's the fact that I spent 5-10 minutes trying to find the part of the small hands, I was considering to re-watch the video to watch it again. Turns out it was legit in the first part of the video, and it took me like 3 minutes to find this comment again so I can tell you about my stupid brain experience. Don't mind me, just my stupid brain literally cant look for anything. ((Also it kinda does))
No it just proves that you haven't been on TH-cam long enough to see the repeated "TH-cam is drunk" or your too stupid to understand that you are not first and you will be lumped in with the rest of the idiots
@@Asutoro i have been on youtube long enough to see youtube is drunk comments. I dont think im first, i have at least more than 10 braincells, i just wanted to make a comment saying that feels kinda nice to be early.
16:10 my dude, those are literally pierogies, if you aren't from Pittsburgh or aren't Polish, it's pasta with mashed potatoes inside, literally the best shit on the planet
@@moxxieNmils_ I mean Mrs. T's most popular kinds are "Classic Cheddar", "Loaded Baked Potato", and "4 Cheese Medley" I'm pretty sure, just at it's core, it's pasta and mashed potatoes
18:42 greatest video game hint is from old warthunder it says a good pilot can fly a plane an even better pilot can fly anything. I don’t know why but I can imagine a tank just flying through the air
Emkay: accidentally says Venezuela is in Africa
The comments: *heavy breathing*
He is not truly emkay. Damien is the true emkay
*cursed emoji breathing*
True
:3
*tough guy finger snapping*
Jack: Venezuela, a land in Africa
South America: *am I a joke to you?*
Bee wax
@@blueyapsulesenjoyer1491 what
@@asid5067 bee wax
@@asid5067 bee wax
@@asid5067 bee wax
Next week’s title: *top 10 celebrities that look like celebrities*
Number 1 will suprise tou
Ah yes the celebrity here is made of celebrity
Number 10: Dwayne Johnson and the Rock
@Check my about page Please *im scared to check that link*
@Check my about page Please I checked your about page and my disappointment is immeasurable.
Ahh yes venezuela my favourite african country
Yeah is great, I remember see piramids.
i thought Venezuela was in south america
edit: stop wooshing me. yall gon fill my notifications
@@elizabetharellano7976 lmaoooo
@@elizabetharellano7976 yeah it is. Its a joke
Elizabeth Arellano R/wooosh
Remember there's a difference between a horse girl and a girl who likes horses
What does "horse girl" means??
sMiLeYSnow uhmmm- girl made out of horse you dumb dumb? I thought everyone knew that 🙄🙄🦵
@@iamthefirstandonlycheesecake dear god
Ornitorrinco C1borgue 😎😎 horse girl horse girl
👁️👄👁️
16:57 fun fact! this is an actual version of the Bible someone made where every single letter is in alphabetical order.
yo where can i get this version
I can’t tell if his Venezuela in Africa thing was a joke or not
Temmie Cody same-
It's a joke-
Jimin's Official Jams thank you-
Jimin's Official Jams where tf is it I’m confused and don’t wanna look it up
@@mincat1412 South America at the top
"another miracle from Jesus"
*Shows Qui Gon Jinn*
I mean, he ain't wrong.
_we could make a religion out of this_
Qui Gon was low key one of my favorite jedi (jedis? Idk the plural but I’m pretty sure it’s just Jedi)
No hes not jesus obi wan is
Add Palps too
@@faisalkamal4694 its treason then.... Aaaaaaaaaaa
13:50 did the math on this.
525,600 minutes = 365 days.
they literally spent their entire year listening to "I Found A Way"
shame that drake is a convicted sex offender
@@JakubS -just like me-
When there's a hole...
"Chesterfield" is also a type of sofa. That's why it came up on the list.
Cardinal Ham'N'Eggs th-cam.com/video/FSSFgWlDbJU/w-d-xo.html
Cardinal Ham'N'Eggs I learned that from the seats & sofa’s commercial 😂
As someone from chesterfield I can confirm it’s both a town and a type of sofa
Exiled Chimera why did you put this link?????
Socks
Teacher: are you a boy or a girl?
Me: I’m Venezuela
Teacher: excuse me, *what?*
Me: like the place in Africa
Teacher: *hsuwgshaiyshsowhjzbsjwfsohsksvdkowvzh*
Me: No I said VENEZUELA, not hsuwgshaiyshsowhjzbsjwfsohsksvdkowvzh
r/ihadastroke
@@vicenterecabal7502 😂😂😂😂
@@lucasnadeau5203 it's spelled hsuwgshaiyshsowhjzbsjwfsohsksvdkowvzh yes I spelled all of it without copy and paste.
But isnt Venezuela In South America?
I thought you were Australian, but now with your impeccable geography skills I can see your actually American
What?
Oh boy
That’s would be a compliment to a lot of us Americans.
can't ruin 69 likes
Are we gonna comment hon how americans think CANADA is part of america and britain came from america? No? Okay
When life gives you lemons, plant them to make more lemons. Then find the best way to refine them to what the market wants, and sell them at a rate where you have overall profit while keeping up with the current demand. With the money, either invest in the lemon business or spend it on something other than lemons for your happiness.
Or better yet, attract lemon whores.
or get mad
When life gives you lemons you don't make lemonade you use it to make girls cry
"When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons; what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down... with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"
-Cave Johnson
They got us in the first half and the second half...
20:00 As a trans guy, the first thing I experienced when transitioning was my newly found love for chainsaws! I do miss my boyfriend though.
As another trans guy (not able to transition yet)....
SWEET SATAN MY GUY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!
@@popisdeadisagoodsong9997 what I had too 😔
Me as a lone non binary: what the everliving fuck happened here
@@arandomperson5784 I couldn't tell you my dear. Because I don't know either, heh.
Me, a straight male: *Interesting.*
"Another miracle created by jesus"
*shows Qui Gon Jinn*
Yes.
Soup
I’m sorry but Jesus is obi wan kenobi, you should know, you have a lego Jesus as your profile
Do not defy the romans, Jesus, not again.
Qui god Jesus
obi-wan's jesus, not qui gon.
I actually Googled what red velvet cake is made of myself. The ingredients list, in the order they appeared:
-Cake
-Red
-Cream cheese
-Food
-Icing
-Buttermilk
Nørsk1 how does it taste
R E D
Red?
it does indeed say this
R e d
"Whoever said diamonds were a girl's best friend HORSE" , also found on emkay's r/crappy desighn narrated by robin-
Bee wax
Bee wax.
@@kromblem I don’t understand
@@RucaDoo bee wax
@@chillbatman3329 nrr esc translation: bee wax
"Communism in video games"
-suntzu49 the art of war
Tecno reference??🐷🐷
@@lo3055 yes, thats the joke
@@lo3055 yes, thats the joke
@@lo3055 joke, the thats yes
Please dont
When he uses Qui Gon for Jesus instead of Obi Wan: You have Ewaned your last McGregor
damn
I accuse you of treason against the Grand Army of the Republic
But Qui Gon thught everything he knew to Obi Wan
@@jamessicard1705 but ewan played jesus in a movie, and taught the person born like jesus.
Mmmm, meso thinks yousa curazy
Yes that was a jar jar Binks thing.
*"What the hell is going on in the Philippines"*
Well you have an incompetent government, people who are defending the said incompetent government and a steadily rising number of cases due to said incompetence.
And did I mention how incompetent the government is?
Xander Strandedhed Sounds like the US.
True, I'm in Philippines
Commenter Really? Huh, never knew that.
also religion.
I say this as a religious Filipino
I am also Filipino, the Philippines has also been Americanized over the decades thank you very much
13:50 I just used a calculator to see how many minutes were in a year and sure enough there are 525,600 minutes in a year so yes, they did have a premium subscription
*Bro just listen to the song you don’t need a calculator*
@@GameyGaming no
I got here by typing. “Please I just want to laugh again.”
Did it work?
@@simulacrum1824 what did it cost
@@xanmanskaggs216 oxygen
Did it work man? We must know we’ve been waiting 3 months
@@gonkdroid3078 Just commenting this in hope of one day knowing the answer.
Next intro: I'm Jack, and I *definitely* don't smoke crack...
K
I am
Jk
The Gaming Aphid K
I mean, Oz probably does - th-cam.com/video/e0RRZQG7tos/w-d-xo.html
"Let's be honest isnt that how all kids r made these days"
My mom: *smirks* yep
Me: *looks at little sisters* pffftt-
DID HE JUST SAY VENEZUELA IS IN AFRICA BRO I-
*pulls out gun* Time to go on a crusade.
in* not on
@@Tw0Dots Thx bro
@Check my about page Please are u actually just commenting on everything telling everyone to check your name?! Wtf lol
@Check my about page Please you are not getting famous from this
18:39 “To kill the Cyberdemon, Shoot at it until it dies.” - actual strategy guide for DOOM.
2:01 I like how there's the wrong image on screen.
The image that should've been there was a police Twitter account saying "I just smashed 93 ants in this awesome game, #AntSmasher"
thank you i was so confused
Without the context it’s s game about destroying ants it sounds so wrong.
bruh, Venezuela is in South America, not Africa lol
Yeah lol
well he didnt pass geography class
I have very money
My mind legit went into a shutdown when he said it. I lost my ability to comprehend English for a second there.
Vuvuzela isn't in Antarctica?
1:00 Venezuela is very much from Africa, bad geography moment
I’m sorry but I have to do it, I’m so sorry my brother...
r/woooosh :/
@@crossinshallahmerchant665 i think..i think he's joking.....i think tho
@@crossinshallahmerchant665 im not sure if was it a jk bc his geography classroom only studies his own country
;3
Everyone: honey
Danny Moluu: B E E W A X
Bee wax
Bee wax
Bee wax
Bee wax
Bee wax
Emkay: Men like cutting down trees.
MrBeast: *Am I a joke to you?*
Somebody’s gonna say yes I can feel it
@Countryball fan you-
he sure is a joke to me because I hate mr beast
@@appleboy3973 and everybody hates you
Bee wax
For this inquiring, the nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO one was the bible in alphabetical order
I saw this before I actually saw the post in the video. Generally confused.
Being perfectly honest, I think Jack is my favorite EmKay voice. I really like his humor
Who's name is Loryn, who spelled it like that
Probably their parents
Loryn is the person who owns the name Loryn, i am very money
Check my about page Please no
DIOOOOOOOOO
I knew someone whose name was spelled Loren, so maybe the same thought process went into Loryn.
“From Jesus”
Shows Qi-Gon
HMM
𝙃𝙈𝙈
"Qi-Gon"
When the part that said “I am on WEED AFFECTS” an ad for soap came on LMAOO
*She became a chainsaw because the men she was talking about is leather face and people like him*
Plague Doctor Raven [Not SCP 049] mmmm DBD
Fun fact: Health is the slowest way of dying.
Dhii
Wow
Fun fact: being alive makes you die
You... cant say that...
Stupid
18:25
My brother liked that part so much he rolled and shook on the floor
r/wholesome
Maybe you should check on him man
r/cursecomments
@@pluto-skies4323 what?
@@jootkujoanimsyt8202 It's a cursed. comment.
I paused the video at the”I WILL HEAL THE PHILIPPINES” and cracked up for about a minute.
Then I replayed the video only to find “AND THE WHOLE WORLD”
Safe to say I went into hysterics
16:58
EmKay: (starting off as markiplier)
at the middle
(mega markiplier)
at the end
(a frickin gorilla)
16:55 is that an alphabetically arranged Bible
Yes
Oh no
Maybe
I just love how he cares about our eyes by using that red tint on his videos
Edit: I am dumb
vedios
Vedois
All of you are wrin voeodoioso
vedios
vedios
14:53 that’s a real turtle if you are wondering it’s a soft back if I’m correct
yes it is:)
18:46 DOOM Eternal features a loading screen hint that reads "to kill a tyrant, shoot at it until it dies"
Who else searched " toast falling over" after this video.
No but i did when you mentioned it tho
Me
@@achair650 me too man
no
Bee wax
Him: "i hate tip on the internet theyre so dumb and common sense!"
Also dani making karlson: "shoot to shoot the shotgun"
Let's not forget the "Try moving around by moving around!".
Also don't ask about the drill
Whenever he said "I have small hands" he sounded like ghostbur a little
It's the fact that I spent 5-10 minutes trying to find the part of the small hands, I was considering to re-watch the video to watch it again. Turns out it was legit in the first part of the video, and it took me like 3 minutes to find this comment again so I can tell you about my stupid brain experience. Don't mind me, just my stupid brain literally cant look for anything.
((Also it kinda does))
It's official, my gender is now Venezuela.
Eh, my gender is sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends
I identify as an idiot my pronouns are moron/imbecile
I identify as a .22MM Desert Eagle
Yes and you live in Africa now
Me too
“I’m being so astounded by the face of the cat that I’ve lost the ability to speech apparently”
1:00 not gonna lie, hearing you say Venezuela was in Africa made me shake my head so fast it made a noise like a bulldog's jowls.
I know nobody cares if you are early
But lets be honest, when the view count says "No Views".
Damn it feels good
damn
No it just proves that you haven't been on TH-cam long enough to see the repeated "TH-cam is drunk" or your too stupid to understand that you are not first and you will be lumped in with the rest of the idiots
Danggg boy
@@Asutoro i have been on youtube long enough to see youtube is drunk comments.
I dont think im first, i have at least more than 10 braincells, i just wanted to make a comment saying that feels kinda nice to be early.
@stolen meme police says the grammar police
We already have: "What's poppin'? I'm Robin"
But we need: "It's Jack! I'm back!."
18:23
HOLY SHIT I WAS NOT EXPECTING FLIGHT TO PLAY IN AN EMKAY VIDEO
"Venezuela"
"I'm a massive land from the continent of Africa"
No??? 😂 Venezuela is in south America
So original
When pointing out something is unorginal is orginal
"I WANT THE THICC GAY SPIDER"
me: ~ *IM ADDICTED, TO THE FEELING-*
*GETTING HIGHER THAN THE CEEEEAAALING*
AND WE'RE NEVER GONNA WANT THIS FUCKING FEELING TO END
of the sorrow when the buzz ends by to torrmow
I am chainsawing a deer because people ship me with him
Ah yes, Hazbin Hotel, the best cartoon
Thanks for the shotout man
How to know if your a good rapper
1: You can sleep with any women
2. People never show up to your house with flashing lights
hey u remember when rap used to be good
You added an unnecessary "p"
@@anabominationagainstman3597 NOOOOO
Him: "i am on *WEEDS EFFECT* "
ADS: "The power of charcoal effect"
16:10 my dude, those are literally pierogies, if you aren't from Pittsburgh or aren't Polish, it's pasta with mashed potatoes inside, literally the best shit on the planet
I come from a part Ukrainian family and my grandparents make those except they but like cheese and dill and other stuff inside I think
and it’s also the best I agree with you
@@moxxieNmils_ I mean Mrs. T's most popular kinds are "Classic Cheddar", "Loaded Baked Potato", and "4 Cheese Medley" I'm pretty sure, just at it's core, it's pasta and mashed potatoes
oooh sounds good
He showed Quigon and called him Jesus!
Should’ve used Obi-Wan!
I have the high ground
I mean, the Chesterfield one has kind of a point. I'd be concerned if an entire town didn't have a single piece of furniture...
18:43
To defeat the enemy, deal damage until it can’t take any more damage
Fun fact : by the time you dad comes back from getting milk the milk will be cheese
Chez
Haha, speak for yourself!
*_I doubt the milk even exists anymore_*
2:57 5 Star
Why: INSPIRING.
"At this point, I feel like Drake Bell should be paying _you."_
This aged well (?).
why?
@@blitzyblook3315 that thing where he did crime or something
1:00 yes that's right i'm a massive land from the continet of africa
latinoamericans: Visual Spanish
frustration
(Sighs in Enchilada sauce) Dios Mio
Petition for him to say “Hello. I’m your favorite wacko, Jacko!”
"I will heal the Philippines"
Whomst have summoned the almighty one
Last time I was this early my dad hadn’t gone to get milk
Please come back papa
_Damn_
damn
Budget cuts.
It's almost like I haven't seen this before. 🤔 Wow
Damn
Me a geography fan: ah yes venezual-
Emkay: "a giant landmass on the continent of Africa"
Me: ;^;
Im sorry but to make you look more smart say geographer
I’m from Venezuela and same
@@chillbatman3329 me, a geographer fan: ah yes, geographer.
2:54
"THE BOOTY IS FREE"
Four Mawchild: that's where you're wrong, kiddo.
Fact: not everyone is first not even me
Nobody cares
Ah a fellow rifty fan
@OC's Production World first your grammar is wrong
Sensei #2 they mean no one is first and I’m not first too smh
@@rosequartz6680 good grammar good job
‘Another miracle from Jesus.’ *proceeds to show picture of Qui-Gon-Jinn*
18:42 greatest video game hint is from old warthunder it says a good pilot can fly a plane an even better pilot can fly anything. I don’t know why but I can imagine a tank just flying through the air
"What the hell is going on in The Philippines?"
[Insert Filipinos getting in the comments here]
"Hey, kamusta pre."
Hm
0:16
hmm, that user's name
I think as an outsider "What is Not happening" should be the question 😁
I used to watch these all the time when I was doing homework or gaming just for some background noise and the memes, I’m happy to be back😎👍
16:56
When any show does a slow motion scene
18:24 Showed this to my epileptic friend, he liked it so much he cant stop dancing!
new intro
"hellooo my name is jacko, your favorite wako and welcome back to emkay."
15:09 "no i'd like to FoRgEt iT-"
God.. why did i laugh at that so much...
Me, who has listened to yakko’s world 88 times after hearing him saying Venezuela is in Africa: “listen here you little ####”
Should have used a picture of Obiwan at the start instead of Qui Gon.
" no one even plays sword and shield "
*my nintendo switch evaporates*
edit: i lost the cartridge a month or two ago
Discuss: are spaghetti - O's good?
Cherrify i dont remember
nobody does because it's some piss
@@maverickREAL it's fine in my opinion its fine
cuz no furret in galar
Vid: 10 most fun cities in Illinois
Me living in Illinois: none there are none
I can confirm, the best part is food
2 minutes and 2 dislikes even the haters got they’re notifications on lmao
Lol but it's *their
beck hruby I have two braincells lol
@@Bailey.patten hehe I have 3
beck hruby I lost a braincell breathing just then lol
I am toast i fall
18:50 I once got a loading screen tip on minecraft xbox 360 edition that read "Did you know, the most effective way to get diamonds is creative mode!"
i mean are they wrong?
Last day i send to my mom a message that said
"Me is hunger"
"Pls"
"Food"
Me: * types random words *
Google translator: 16:55
James Fridman: The only person who is essential to r/ComedyHaven
All the posts about the celebrities that look like fictional characters didn't realize that it was posted on April 1st
18:11
what the hell is going on in the philippines?
oh, pretty much like murica...
My country is weird and colorful
16:59 The commentary adds so much to this
Ah yes Jacc the snacc that smiles bacc
Fun fact: you're probably in the comment section right now
how did you know?
I kno
I’m actually in the reply section thank you very much
@@UwU-iu6ts yes....how did he/she know.......what black magic is this?
No
Google: any question. RIGHT ANSWER
Google when doing an assignment: What caused the great fire of London? FIRE
lol still the right answer
@@lennylols9198 (‘o’) you know what I mean don’t give me that
Petition for Click and Jack to do a collab
SiGn HeRe:
Yes
Y e s
_y e s_
_Y E S_
*_n o_*
1:01 D-did you j-just say AFRICA?!
So original
@@sandshrewgamer3392 Okay, and?
"whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend HORSE" gets me every fucking time
So I looked up “type of furniture” to see if it’s real, and I couldn’t find Chesterfield. I did however, find “bean”
Bean
Bean
Mr. Bean