I don't understand why mutilating a baby's genitalia isn't legally regarded as torture, child abuse, and assault. If someone tied up an adult and did the same thing, wouldn't that be considered assault with years of jail time? How is that different, since a baby is even more helpless than an adult tied up? Why is this not considered barbaric and horrific in American culture?
Religions have so much power, cult based relationships driven by narcissists and codependents. Some religions have more power than others by country. Not that difficult to find the cause
Because their business depends on it. Through trauma. Society becomes able to make us do what they want. They take our fears of abandonment, anger and neediness. So they use these emotions to channel them to THEIR desire. The ones who traumatized me are not debating me. Because their goal IS to traumatize me. Now it is hard to kill a grown up man. Society and Parents are STILL going to make effort. My goal is to register those attacks and defend myself to according situations.
I’m disturbed at how many parents laugh at their kids feelings. I had a trauma bond growing up, his mom laughed at his feelings and my mom laughed at mine. Laughing at some pretty horrific things, even sadistic laughter. That’s really cruel abuse to laugh at someone’s feelings. Abusing and laughing at kids feelings... it shouldn’t be that hard to care about your own child’s feelings.
My mother laughed at my pain when I was a child. Laughter is a nervous system response- involuntary. It’s like automatic computer programming that runs in the nervous system. It was installed on her operating system when she was a kid by caregivers or peers or propaganda. Most people are not aware they are being run by a program. But some of us wake up and can watch the program run and therefore not be run by it. Those are the generational curse breakers. I am one of the observers who saw the program and objected to it. If you are too, know it’s a gift not everyone gets. Maybe they’re not strong enough. Who knows? But they could use compassion. How sad to never see how destructive that program is. They suffer greatly. Be well, overcomer. ✌🏽🌈
Ginger, I am sorry that you were shamed and humiliated for appropriate feelings. A thought: Parents who respond with mocking contempt SURELY have self-disgust and are imprisoned in denial. I like to call this a glass ceiling they hit and cannot rise above. However, I’m in ACA and am rising above my glass ceiling.
The same thing or similar would have happened to them as a child, is all their doing is mirroring, drawing out what’s inside. It’s telling them something but they’re oblivious to their internal life. It goes on and on and on unless they get help to dig them out.
@@charging7 aww i’m sorry to be the one to break it to you but it’s true, it’s called the “frenulum” anatomically & it’s partially or fully removed during all modern routes of newborn circumcision.
One of your best videos Daniel, in my opinion. My way of expressing this: A lot of our adult relationship decisions, especially who we are attracted to, are driven by the unfinished emotional business we have with our parents. One manifestation of that dynamic is an unconscious ambition to heal our parents or gain their affection. So we find ourselves with someone who is wounded in a similar way to them.
If only we could turn this compulsion into a mutually beneficial relation, taking councious action to prop each other up and in the right direction, and support ourselves in our quest for healing and truth... I have failed multiple times with my relationships to various degrees and find myself lacking motivation to start another one. But I know healing is possible, and that it's awful to go through it alone. How I wish I found someone who understands that.
My experience bad things like abuse etc people down play it no big deal. However small things like being served a bad cup of coffee or someone cutting them up in traffic people get more emotional pissed of over these issues.
Not sure why you're not Daniel Mackler, Ph.D but you absolutely deserve the title. Not that it is definitive but the amount of knowledge you possess is remarkable...so much respect for this channel. I appreciate you being here. Thanks Daniel.
People not listening to me when I really have something important to say, being disrespected and ignored is a trauma response for me. It will trigger instant anger in me.
Omg it's like you're reading my life like a book. I didn't think I had childhood trauma, but in the last 5 years, trauma events in my adulthood have led me to reopen and explore for the first time my childhood traumas. Also, I recently moved back to my home city to be closer to my family and that has absolutely brought back my childhood traumas. Things ive discounted for decades. It is difficult to unpick and understand these wounds, but clearly, I need to do this.
Circumcision is truly one one of the biggest normalised crimes commited against men in our times. People talk about paternity rights and divorce settlements and stuff but even they ignore circumcision.
I'm pretty sure doctors have neither religious nor scientific reasons to circumcise. They just have been through the process but have no councious memory of it, therefore have no empathy for babies that go through it. Plus they might even feel the uncouncious need to repeat it to keep everything that way, because feeling empathy for another child would bring feelings of revulsion , rage, guilt, towards themselves and, God forbid, their parents
Yes, in an early comment, I mentioned how early childhood trauma is a magnet for adult problems and traumatic situations. Many times it is the main way to begin to access buried trauma and consciously heal.
I am really sad I didn't get to be the person I would've been if none of this happened. If I had been protected none of this would've happened. I would've been me. I have always just wanted to be me.
Now is the time to be you in all your hearts fullness. Recognize you are repeating traumatic perceptions, begin to know and love yourself. Self love and acceptance unites the ego and spirit and begins to erase the impact of old programming.
So very true.. I frequently find in authority figures (like bosses) or other parental figures, traits that were very much like my parents and felt powerless in doing too much about their behaviors. Frequently triggered if they also lack basic integrity and/or mirror one of my parents. Often I do end up having to leave the situation because it was just too painful. It's sad but being an asian woman really doesn't help as often people feel like they can get away with mistreating you because of that, just like my parents thought they could.
Yea this is pretty congruent with my experience. Up until I started to get a handle on what had happened to me and how I was “raised” I kept going through the same patterns of trauma. It’s been downright peaceful since I started working on it.
Oh my God I read a chapter of you book and almost had a nervous break down and wanted to numb my pain. I literally had to tell the little girl in me that I would be okay and shut off any outside noise from people. I think it was page 35 I read about the man who’s parents gave him everything…after I read that page I just started crying because that’s what happened to me so with my last boyfriend I took everything he gave me but yet did not grow at all so now I have to do the opposite of everything I’ve ever learned. I’m so pissed off at my parents for them never setting boundaries or to strict of boundaries and making me feel like I’m stupid all because I didn’t start talking until I was 4 years old. 🤷♀️🤔 Very frustrating. So now at age 37 I need to learn how to adult on my own.
Often times, the reason we don't know is cognitive dissonance. To know would be too painful. The people we needed to love us and protect us actually hurt us for malicious reasons. We fool ourselves about that, but the trauma is still there in us. And we don't know.
Yes, I consider you to be my good influence, and I like to see you doing well and feeling appreciation for your self-empowerment. We all have to recover from being utterly powerless at the beginning of our lives, and having to have faith in "Hello - is anybody there?" One of the terrifying questions, especially when no one answers, and you don't know what is happening.
Hey daniel,I was wondering if you'd make a video about how you plan your trips (ex. Bugget,how you find the place in the first place,how you manage to convince people to stay at their houses,etc)
1:15 I remember when I woke up and realized what I had allowed to happen to my son -he is eight years old now and I have already apologized to him for his circumcision❤
Thank you, Daniel. This is very helpful. I didn't start to recognize my childhood trauma and it's effects until it was way too late. But I still want to continue to learn and understand and feel that that is a reasonable pursuit for an olde man.
Trauma is how something affects a person, regardless of what you think is 'objectively' bad or not as an observer. It's always about how the person it affects ''perceives'' it and how it affects them. You can go around it, but it is a trauma too and has the same after effects + new ones and yes, it's amplified by things that already happened to someone in childhood. Yes, to resolve things and to get healthier people dig into childhood and resolve the core trauma, but it doesn't mean other things aren't trauma because you're not emotionally involved into something and not even a participant of that something and see everything through your perspective. If you made this video inspired by some of my comments, I always state that I'm aware of how this reflects my relationship with my mother and things to do with my childhood traumas and I talk about everything in relation to my childhood trauma. You don't even know the details of everything that happened to me and I'm just the text on the internet to you. Yes, other people would react differently than me and I'm aware of it, but would they stay or enter that relationship at all and get treated the way I did having different childhood and later experience from mine, different family dynamics and different parents in the first place? I don't think so. So these people's position may not that ''objective'' after all and the same applies to the situations you described and generalized in this video. I'm venting here because I didn't get any support from anyone to begin with and I always have to ''prove'' my emotions about my trauma are valid. It's not like anyone sees it as a trauma or that person as the traumatizer/abuser and goes after them in my case and it's not like I'm encouraging any of that. Kinda the opposite. Everyone that comes across tries to explain things from their position as a stranger without getting involved into it at the same time and without asking me questions about what actually happened or how something made me feel etc. Even the person who I've been in that unhealthy relationship with would act like that because they've always been completely emotionally uninvolved, they would go out of their way to bring other people into that to ridicule me and always turn the focus to me as the flawed and traumatized one as if they're some uninvolved psychoanalyst who analyses me while not even knowing me or ever seeing me on camera and just talking at me but never talking with me and as if it's always about me while that person is not nearly as flawed or traumatized as me (which is not necessarily true). So doing something as small and desperate as writing a comment somewhere like here and venting into the air means having the voice to me. So don't take my comments as a cry for help from you, I have a therapist who actually sees me and knows me somewhat, has more insight into my life. By writing my comments, I just apply your videos to my life and my experiences that I know about (because i'm me and I've witnessed me living my life), it's basically me talking to myself because doing as little as this makes me feel like I do exist and it's like asserting myself. In fact, I'm able to say all these things thanks to that therapist, because otherwise I wouldn't believe my own experiences and things would be much worse for me, I don't know where I would be now. But a lot of your videos are helpful too in a way you don't know and don't necessarily need to know because I'm just one of the people who watches your videos on youtube.
Tbh it reminds me of when I was bullied and insulted at school and people who wouldn't get nearly the same kind of treatment and comments or even participators would tell me I overreacted and was taking things too personally. They said for the problem to disappear, I should have just ignored it and things would go away or even laugh with them while those people were humiliating me, ''have a sense of humour and laugh at myself'' as if their behaviour wasn't based on their disrespect of me and aggression towards me, but something friendly, but I wasn't so emotionally illiterate not to see the opposite was going on. Of course, it didn't disappear when I tried to ignore it and it never disappeared when other people who were teased and picked on would try to laugh with everybody and ''have a good sense of humour'', it would actually get worse and more aggressive.
@@BlackCat-vf7th the only way is to grow and become a threat to your enemies. But always treat them with love and offer ally ship against the greater evil that is called school system.
I’ve noticed that often times as adults people will place their children into the same types, (if not the very same), hands of their own childhood abusers to sort of test their own ability to be better at protecting their own children or themselves against whichever type of abuse. I started witnessing this through my siblings who were also horrifically abused neglected etc by our generationally same abused and neglected parents, by their parents... just to turn around and play roulette with their children’s safety. In one case, I believe the one sibling truly believed she had been born deserving of this terrible behavior and that her children weren’t and so she tested her theory. :( The other was more .. soo much more reserved and tried to keep a distant relationship but my God it is difficult! Our parents noticed and made life hell for her for being protective. (Many years ago and they’ve passed since). I was protective against my parents but chose scenarios all to similar until I then retreated to the point I stopped being able to function with my children outside of the home so became nearly completely recluse. Repeat 🔁 Still happening. Life’s fd up then your children repeat 🔁 in their own way. 🔁 I’ve always believed regrets are pointless but if I could.. I’d go back-and my kids and grandchildren would no longer have this unbearable burden to bare.
Thank you for your honesty. As for me, I decided that my son would never be spanked, never intentionally humiliated, always deeply loved and encouraged...simply because I myself had none of these positive things and all of these negative things. My son has turned out to be a kind, creative, responsible individual. He truly knows I did my absolute best to protect him and give him every opportunity to become a fully individual.
@@kevinhornbuckle Okay, but you are still one of the two people who brought him into existence, which is something he did not consent to, and you have therefore allowed all of the harm, pain and suffering he experiences and causes to others to happen, as well as all of the harm, pain and suffering caused to and caused by any offspring and future generations he might cause to come into existence, because all of that harm, pain and suffering would be prevented if you had not brought him into existence in the first place.
@@dfordiligence2398 Your logic is unfalsifiable. Every parent would go mad if they blamed themselves as the cause of every harm or injury suffered by their child.
@@kevinhornbuckle When you procreate, you are bringing a whole load of pain and suffering into existence that would not exist otherwise. This is simply an irrefutable fact. The issue is not whether that is a fact or not. It is very obviously a fact. The issue is whether or not there is something so good about life as a human being that it outweighs all the suffering and potential suffering involved. I don't think that there is. If you think that there is, then what is it? There are people who have children and then later on come to believe that it is wrong to have children (i.e. procreate, as opposed to adopt). An example of such a person is the TH-camr called Social Experimentalist a.k.a. Danny Shine. Look him up.
I’m reading from the book Breaking Free From Your Parents but I don’t remember what page it was I read from sense I’ve lost my curser. Page 58 first paragraph had me crying like a baby. I’m still not sure if I’m alive after reading that paragraph. It’s like I received validation from my own father. 😢
@@dmackler58 this guy named hank said there an overlap between mental health and autoimmunity and he said a study in 2013 found that 3.6 million people Denmark who had an autoimmune disorder that they 45 % more likely to have a psychiatric disorder. Can you debunk that.
This is very similar to what Stanislov Grof discovered in LSD therapies, that adult trauma is just the most recent manifestation of the constellation of memory that started with childhood trauma.
I came across your library of videos only in the last handful of days. I understand and relate to gaining a perspective toward the traumas of childhood and it seems that a perspective is a necessary step towards resolution and healing. But I do not understand what resolution is, and how resolution differs from healing. Update: downloaded 2010 "Toward Truth," this read seems a good start.
Can you make a video explaining how the world at present would be like without mental health professionals of all types? (psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, CSWs, LPMHC, etc.). For instance, the consequences of a world without plumbers would be sharp and destructive. Without clean water, the incidence of illness and disease would increase. Many daily functions would be disrupted from broken water systems (showering, cleaning dishes, toilet, etc.). New construction would have to pretty much halt as no one would want to live or work in areas that don't have running water.
Being exposed to the same parental abuse and emotional violence in adulthood was one of the most painful experiences I have ever had. It brought back so many repressed memories from childhood I wasn't even aware of having. So much pain. Less than a year and a half later I was diagnosed a serious disease. I know it was connected with what had happened to me. Malignant narcissists are bad people, even if they are parents.
Adult trauma often piggybacks off of childhood trauma. Or maybe it's better to say it builds itself off of the foundation laid down by childhood trauma. Gabor Mate once said there's a correlation between PTSD in combat vets and abuse in their childhoods.
Anyone ever test a man or woman that you get to the point where you just find the man or woman to be super annoying? So when you try and get away from this person to branch out and serve on your own this person wants to cling on? Then you yourself cling on by being extremely annoying and needy to? Lose your job, that person, then your church cause you just give it up like a moron? Because the person you’re dating tried to brain wash you to make the world seem scary because he or she is a Christian? So you just lay there drinking your life away jobless, with no church and no one from the church calling you back? Yeah that’s what I’m going through. Why? Because apparently people hate when I tell the truth. 🤷♀️ so then you sit there and have to lie to everyone. Difference between me and everyone else is I don’t give a shit if anyone tells anyone anything about me I’m just numb at this point. 🤷♀️
I think the difference is really, that alot of the really ugly struggles and unbelievable or extreme shit happens more to adults than to children. Sexual pathology, vanity, competitiveness, humiliation, loss of innocence all that, ect.. it stems from their past but real cruelty and fear of insecurity especially, is more common for older people, I'd say....
I disagree. Everything you list is a part of a lot of babies' and young childrens' lives. A lot of parents molest their children with impunity in all the same ways adults do to each other, and even often with the encouragement of society. It has been suggested that all adults who inflict or seek violent treatment have been through violence in their youngest years and may completely have forgotten. Their bodies do not, however, and they feel comfortable, or even feel an urge to repeat this violence, and inflict it on others or themselves, or both. It's very difficult and revolting to wrap your head around, either if you have not been through this yourself or if you have buried it outside of your councious memories, but I now pretty much agree with this suggestion.
I don't understand why mutilating a baby's genitalia isn't legally regarded as torture, child abuse, and assault. If someone tied up an adult and did the same thing, wouldn't that be considered assault with years of jail time? How is that different, since a baby is even more helpless than an adult tied up? Why is this not considered barbaric and horrific in American culture?
Very good questions. Something that people don't want to face.
Definitely a subject worthy of discussion.👍
Religions have so much power, cult based relationships driven by narcissists and codependents.
Some religions have more power than others by country.
Not that difficult to find the cause
Doesn’t it blow your mind? I just don’t understand it.
Because their business depends on it. Through trauma. Society becomes able to make us do what they want. They take our fears of abandonment, anger and neediness. So they use these emotions to channel them to THEIR desire.
The ones who traumatized me are not debating me. Because their goal IS to traumatize me.
Now it is hard to kill a grown up man. Society and Parents are STILL going to make effort.
My goal is to register those attacks and defend myself to according situations.
I’m disturbed at how many parents laugh at their kids feelings. I had a trauma bond growing up, his mom laughed at his feelings and my mom laughed at mine. Laughing at some pretty horrific things, even sadistic laughter. That’s really cruel abuse to laugh at someone’s feelings. Abusing and laughing at kids feelings... it shouldn’t be that hard to care about your own child’s feelings.
❤🙏🏽
My mother laughed at my pain when I was a child. Laughter is a nervous system response- involuntary. It’s like automatic computer programming that runs in the nervous system. It was installed on her operating system when she was a kid by caregivers or peers or propaganda. Most people are not aware they are being run by a program. But some of us wake up and can watch the program run and therefore not be run by it. Those are the generational curse breakers. I am one of the observers who saw the program and objected to it. If you are too, know it’s a gift not everyone gets. Maybe they’re not strong enough. Who knows? But they could use compassion. How sad to never see how destructive that program is. They suffer greatly. Be well, overcomer. ✌🏽🌈
Ginger, I am sorry that you were shamed and humiliated for appropriate feelings. A thought: Parents who respond with mocking contempt SURELY have self-disgust and are imprisoned in denial. I like to call this a glass ceiling they hit and cannot rise above. However, I’m in ACA and am rising above my glass ceiling.
@@Sunshine74444 So well written!
The same thing or similar would have happened to them as a child, is all their doing is mirroring, drawing out what’s inside. It’s telling them something but they’re oblivious to their internal life. It goes on and on and on unless they get help to dig them out.
thank you for labeling circumcision what it really is: an unnecessary, traumatic removal of an entire body part without the child’s consent.
It's not the removal of an entire body part, stop exaggerating
@@charging7 aww i’m sorry to be the one to break it to you but it’s true, it’s called the “frenulum” anatomically & it’s partially or fully removed during all modern routes of newborn circumcision.
@@charging7 yes it is. Stop being dense
One of your best videos Daniel, in my opinion. My way of expressing this: A lot of our adult relationship decisions, especially who we are attracted to, are driven by the unfinished emotional business we have with our parents. One manifestation of that dynamic is an unconscious ambition to heal our parents or gain their affection. So we find ourselves with someone who is wounded in a similar way to them.
If only we could turn this compulsion into a mutually beneficial relation, taking councious action to prop each other up and in the right direction, and support ourselves in our quest for healing and truth... I have failed multiple times with my relationships to various degrees and find myself lacking motivation to start another one. But I know healing is possible, and that it's awful to go through it alone. How I wish I found someone who understands that.
My experience bad things like abuse etc people down play it no big deal. However small things like being served a bad cup of coffee or someone cutting them up in traffic people get more emotional pissed of over these issues.
Not sure why you're not Daniel Mackler, Ph.D but you absolutely deserve the title. Not that it is definitive but the amount of knowledge you possess is remarkable...so much respect for this channel. I appreciate you being here.
Thanks Daniel.
Nicely said.
People not listening to me when I really have something important to say, being disrespected and ignored is a trauma response for me. It will trigger instant anger in me.
Omg it's like you're reading my life like a book. I didn't think I had childhood trauma, but in the last 5 years, trauma events in my adulthood have led me to reopen and explore for the first time my childhood traumas. Also, I recently moved back to my home city to be closer to my family and that has absolutely brought back my childhood traumas. Things ive discounted for decades. It is difficult to unpick and understand these wounds, but clearly, I need to do this.
Circumcision is truly one one of the biggest normalised crimes commited against men in our times. People talk about paternity rights and divorce settlements and stuff but even they ignore circumcision.
It’s based on religious delusion.
Patriarchal religion, which is a large tenet of the ideology that children are property, and “cleanliness.”
I'm pretty sure doctors have neither religious nor scientific reasons to circumcise. They just have been through the process but have no councious memory of it, therefore have no empathy for babies that go through it. Plus they might even feel the uncouncious need to repeat it to keep everything that way, because feeling empathy for another child would bring feelings of revulsion , rage, guilt, towards themselves and, God forbid, their parents
Im 43 and the wounds are still bleeding. Just had a psychotic breakdown again. All tied in to trauma.
Maybe you can write down for yourself what resolution from your trauma would look like and feel like. Sort of start a map for your particular journey.
@@kevinhornbuckle
Thanks Kevin.
Sounds like good solid advice.
Blessings to you sir. Its a long hard journey for sure, I wish you well.
@@idan4989Yes from childhood. Majority of the time I operate from a dissociated angry fake self.
This is more common than you may think....
God bless you
Yes, in an early comment, I mentioned how early childhood trauma is a magnet for adult problems and traumatic situations.
Many times it is the main way to begin to access buried trauma and consciously heal.
Yes -- nicely said Debra!
I am really sad I didn't get to be the person I would've been if none of this happened. If I had been protected none of this would've happened. I would've been me. I have always just wanted to be me.
The you that you are in your deep heart will always be 💕
Same here.
Now is the time to be you in all your hearts fullness. Recognize you are repeating traumatic perceptions, begin to know and love yourself. Self love and acceptance unites the ego and spirit and begins to erase the impact of old programming.
I feel the same
@@Ursaminor31 I feel cursed. How am I suppose to unite?
So very true.. I frequently find in authority figures (like bosses) or other parental figures, traits that were very much like my parents and felt powerless in doing too much about their behaviors. Frequently triggered if they also lack basic integrity and/or mirror one of my parents. Often I do end up having to leave the situation because it was just too painful. It's sad but being an asian woman really doesn't help as often people feel like they can get away with mistreating you because of that, just like my parents thought they could.
Yea this is pretty congruent with my experience. Up until I started to get a handle on what had happened to me and how I was “raised” I kept going through the same patterns of trauma. It’s been downright peaceful since I started working on it.
Oh my God I read a chapter of you book and almost had a nervous break down and wanted to numb my pain. I literally had to tell the little girl in me that I would be okay and shut off any outside noise from people. I think it was page 35 I read about the man who’s parents gave him everything…after I read that page I just started crying because that’s what happened to me so with my last boyfriend I took everything he gave me but yet did not grow at all so now I have to do the opposite of everything I’ve ever learned. I’m so pissed off at my parents for them never setting boundaries or to strict of boundaries and making me feel like I’m stupid all because I didn’t start talking until I was 4 years old. 🤷♀️🤔 Very frustrating. So now at age 37 I need to learn how to adult on my own.
This is so true, we remember past traumas in so many ways but we don't know. Thank you for another wonderful video, Daniel
Often times, the reason we don't know is cognitive dissonance. To know would be too painful. The people we needed to love us and protect us actually hurt us for malicious reasons. We fool ourselves about that, but the trauma is still there in us. And we don't know.
@@kevinhornbuckle Exactly, those who are brave enough to know are few because it's too painful
Great video. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I find this to be a sophisticated analysis. Kudos to you for having the courage and wisdom to paint with a broad bush on these complicated themes.
Great vid. Very relatable. 👍
Enjoy your teachings, thank you for so much
Always love listening to the lick at the end of these videos.
Persian blues.
Yes, I consider you to be my good influence, and I like to see you doing well and feeling appreciation for your self-empowerment. We all have to recover from being utterly powerless at the beginning of our lives, and having to have faith in "Hello - is anybody there?" One of the terrifying questions, especially when no one answers, and you don't know what is happening.
Thankyou for wording your incredible insights
This is one of your most useful videos- for me. I had to relisten to certain segments, because they applied to my situation so much.
Hey daniel,I was wondering if you'd make a video about how you plan your trips (ex. Bugget,how you find the place in the first place,how you manage to convince people to stay at their houses,etc)
Thanks a good idea -- thank you!!
1:15 I remember when I woke up and realized what I had allowed to happen to my son -he is eight years old now and I have already apologized to him for his circumcision❤
Thank you, Daniel. This is very helpful. I didn't start to recognize my childhood trauma and it's effects until it was way too late. But I still want to continue to learn and understand and feel that that is a reasonable pursuit for an olde man.
Trauma is how something affects a person, regardless of what you think is 'objectively' bad or not as an observer. It's always about how the person it affects ''perceives'' it and how it affects them. You can go around it, but it is a trauma too and has the same after effects + new ones and yes, it's amplified by things that already happened to someone in childhood. Yes, to resolve things and to get healthier people dig into childhood and resolve the core trauma, but it doesn't mean other things aren't trauma because you're not emotionally involved into something and not even a participant of that something and see everything through your perspective.
If you made this video inspired by some of my comments, I always state that I'm aware of how this reflects my relationship with my mother and things to do with my childhood traumas and I talk about everything in relation to my childhood trauma. You don't even know the details of everything that happened to me and I'm just the text on the internet to you. Yes, other people would react differently than me and I'm aware of it, but would they stay or enter that relationship at all and get treated the way I did having different childhood and later experience from mine, different family dynamics and different parents in the first place? I don't think so. So these people's position may not that ''objective'' after all and the same applies to the situations you described and generalized in this video.
I'm venting here because I didn't get any support from anyone to begin with and I always have to ''prove'' my emotions about my trauma are valid. It's not like anyone sees it as a trauma or that person as the traumatizer/abuser and goes after them in my case and it's not like I'm encouraging any of that. Kinda the opposite. Everyone that comes across tries to explain things from their position as a stranger without getting involved into it at the same time and without asking me questions about what actually happened or how something made me feel etc. Even the person who I've been in that unhealthy relationship with would act like that because they've always been completely emotionally uninvolved, they would go out of their way to bring other people into that to ridicule me and always turn the focus to me as the flawed and traumatized one as if they're some uninvolved psychoanalyst who analyses me while not even knowing me or ever seeing me on camera and just talking at me but never talking with me and as if it's always about me while that person is not nearly as flawed or traumatized as me (which is not necessarily true). So doing something as small and desperate as writing a comment somewhere like here and venting into the air means having the voice to me. So don't take my comments as a cry for help from you, I have a therapist who actually sees me and knows me somewhat, has more insight into my life. By writing my comments, I just apply your videos to my life and my experiences that I know about (because i'm me and I've witnessed me living my life), it's basically me talking to myself because doing as little as this makes me feel like I do exist and it's like asserting myself. In fact, I'm able to say all these things thanks to that therapist, because otherwise I wouldn't believe my own experiences and things would be much worse for me, I don't know where I would be now. But a lot of your videos are helpful too in a way you don't know and don't necessarily need to know because I'm just one of the people who watches your videos on youtube.
Wow, thats a long comment. I also wrote many and looong comments and actually didnt expect anyone to answer in anyway.
Tbh it reminds me of when I was bullied and insulted at school and people who wouldn't get nearly the same kind of treatment and comments or even participators would tell me I overreacted and was taking things too personally. They said for the problem to disappear, I should have just ignored it and things would go away or even laugh with them while those people were humiliating me, ''have a sense of humour and laugh at myself'' as if their behaviour wasn't based on their disrespect of me and aggression towards me, but something friendly, but I wasn't so emotionally illiterate not to see the opposite was going on. Of course, it didn't disappear when I tried to ignore it and it never disappeared when other people who were teased and picked on would try to laugh with everybody and ''have a good sense of humour'', it would actually get worse and more aggressive.
@@BlackCat-vf7th the only way is to grow and become a threat to your enemies. But always treat them with love and offer ally ship against the greater evil that is called school system.
Haha I should have said kindness. Not love. That is bit too much haha
@@efehansahin2172 where did you pop up from with an avatar like that and comments like that on a channel like that under my comment?
I’ve noticed that often times as adults people will place their children into the same types, (if not the very same), hands of their own childhood abusers to sort of test their own ability to be better at protecting their own children or themselves against whichever type of abuse. I started witnessing this through my siblings who were also horrifically abused neglected etc by our generationally same abused and neglected parents, by their parents... just to turn around and play roulette with their children’s safety. In one case, I believe the one sibling truly believed she had been born deserving of this terrible behavior and that her children weren’t and so she tested her theory. :( The other was more .. soo much more reserved and tried to keep a distant relationship but my God it is difficult! Our parents noticed and made life hell for her for being protective. (Many years ago and they’ve passed since). I was protective against my parents but chose scenarios all to similar until I then retreated to the point I stopped being able to function with my children outside of the home so became nearly completely recluse. Repeat 🔁 Still happening. Life’s fd up then your children repeat 🔁 in their own way. 🔁 I’ve always believed regrets are pointless but if I could.. I’d go back-and my kids and grandchildren would no longer have this unbearable burden to bare.
Thank you for your honesty. As for me, I decided that my son would never be spanked, never intentionally humiliated, always deeply loved and encouraged...simply because I myself had none of these positive things and all of these negative things. My son has turned out to be a kind, creative, responsible individual. He truly knows I did my absolute best to protect him and give him every opportunity to become a fully individual.
Most people aren't conscious of more than 99% of what they do. And they don't want to be conscious of it either.
@@kevinhornbuckle Okay, but you are still one of the two people who brought him into existence, which is something he did not consent to, and you have therefore allowed all of the harm, pain and suffering he experiences and causes to others to happen, as well as all of the harm, pain and suffering caused to and caused by any offspring and future generations he might cause to come into existence, because all of that harm, pain and suffering would be prevented if you had not brought him into existence in the first place.
@@dfordiligence2398 Your logic is unfalsifiable. Every parent would go mad if they blamed themselves as the cause of every harm or injury suffered by their child.
@@kevinhornbuckle When you procreate, you are bringing a whole load of pain and suffering into existence that would not exist otherwise. This is simply an irrefutable fact. The issue is not whether that is a fact or not. It is very obviously a fact. The issue is whether or not there is something so good about life as a human being that it outweighs all the suffering and potential suffering involved. I don't think that there is. If you think that there is, then what is it?
There are people who have children and then later on come to believe that it is wrong to have children (i.e. procreate, as opposed to adopt). An example of such a person is the TH-camr called Social Experimentalist a.k.a. Danny Shine. Look him up.
I’m reading from the book Breaking Free From Your Parents but I don’t remember what page it was I read from sense I’ve lost my curser. Page 58 first paragraph had me crying like a baby. I’m still not sure if I’m alive after reading that paragraph. It’s like I received validation from my own father. 😢
Daniel! Can you do a video on Maladaptive Daydreaming? Thank you! Love your videos.
Hi Luis, A good idea!!! I'll probably start recording more stuff soon, and I'll see if I can generate some good ideas on the topic. Daniel
That would be really great!
@@dmackler58 this guy named hank said there an overlap between mental health and autoimmunity and he said a study in 2013 found that 3.6 million people Denmark who had an autoimmune disorder that they 45 % more likely to have a psychiatric disorder. Can you debunk that.
This is very similar to what Stanislov Grof discovered in LSD therapies, that adult trauma is just the most recent manifestation of the constellation of memory that started with childhood trauma.
So true
I remember a lot of shitty things from my youth that I wish I could sooner forget -- stuff I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy!
I came across your library of videos only in the last handful of days. I understand and relate to gaining a perspective toward the traumas of childhood and it seems that a perspective is a necessary step towards resolution and healing. But I do not understand what resolution is, and how resolution differs from healing. Update: downloaded 2010 "Toward Truth," this read seems a good start.
IDK...to me Resolution is Solving...more than healing - which happens over time.
I think for me personally, my resolution is in the fact I am still here, alive and well. Trying my best to be the best I can be.
I think the hardest thing is being with someone that’s just as toxic who mirrors me and I him.
Could you talk about money? What are your inputs?
Can you make a video explaining how the world at present would be like without mental health professionals of all types? (psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, CSWs, LPMHC, etc.). For instance, the consequences of a world without plumbers would be sharp and destructive. Without clean water, the incidence of illness and disease would increase. Many daily functions would be disrupted from broken water systems (showering, cleaning dishes, toilet, etc.). New construction would have to pretty much halt as no one would want to live or work in areas that don't have running water.
Oscar -- a great idea! thanks! Daniel
@@dmackler58 You're welcome!
So, a cause for vicarious trauma could also be from unresolved childhood trauma.
What about Adult trauma?
Being exposed to the same parental abuse and emotional violence in adulthood was one of the most painful experiences I have ever had. It brought back so many repressed memories from childhood I wasn't even aware of having. So much pain. Less than a year and a half later I was diagnosed a serious disease. I know it was connected with what had happened to me. Malignant narcissists are bad people, even if they are parents.
Adult trauma often piggybacks off of childhood trauma. Or maybe it's better to say it builds itself off of the foundation laid down by childhood trauma.
Gabor Mate once said there's a correlation between PTSD in combat vets and abuse in their childhoods.
Anyone ever test a man or woman that you get to the point where you just find the man or woman to be super annoying? So when you try and get away from this person to branch out and serve on your own this person wants to cling on? Then you yourself cling on by being extremely annoying and needy to? Lose your job, that person, then your church cause you just give it up like a moron? Because the person you’re dating tried to brain wash you to make the world seem scary because he or she is a Christian? So you just lay there drinking your life away jobless, with no church and no one from the church calling you back? Yeah that’s what I’m going through. Why? Because apparently people hate when I tell the truth. 🤷♀️ so then you sit there and have to lie to everyone. Difference between me and everyone else is I don’t give a shit if anyone tells anyone anything about me I’m just numb at this point. 🤷♀️
I think the difference is really, that alot of the really ugly struggles and unbelievable or extreme shit happens more to adults than to children. Sexual pathology, vanity, competitiveness, humiliation, loss of innocence all that, ect.. it stems from their past but real cruelty and fear of insecurity especially, is more common for older people, I'd say....
I disagree. Everything you list is a part of a lot of babies' and young childrens' lives.
A lot of parents molest their children with impunity in all the same ways adults do to each other, and even often with the encouragement of society.
It has been suggested that all adults who inflict or seek violent treatment have been through violence in their youngest years and may completely have forgotten. Their bodies do not, however, and they feel comfortable, or even feel an urge to repeat this violence, and inflict it on others or themselves, or both.
It's very difficult and revolting to wrap your head around, either if you have not been through this yourself or if you have buried it outside of your councious memories, but I now pretty much agree with this suggestion.