Helping the Inner Child Process Grief
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 มิ.ย. 2024
- Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Qualified Clinical Supervisor. She received her PhD in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida in 2002. In addition to being a practicing clinician, she has provided training to counselors, social workers, nurses and case managers internationally since 2006 through AllCEUs.com Helping the #InnerChild Process #Grief Companion video to Healing the Inner Child: #cognitivebehavioraltherapy Strategies to Address Trauma and Abandonment • Healing Inner Child: T...
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Video by Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes on integrative behavioral health approaches including counseling techniques and skills for improving mental health and reducing mental illness.
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CHAPTERS
0:00 Introduction
0:11 Objectives
0:27 What is the Inner Child
4:37 What is the IC cont.
11:17 The Wounded Inner Child
19:06 Helping the IC Grieve
22:03 How To Connect with the IC?
29:31 How Do You Connect with the IC?
41:10 Strategies to Help
51:12 Summary
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"You just need to get over it" I hear that phrase and want to explode.
You deserve all the time in the world to process whatever you are feeling in the way that makes you feel best at every moment of your life.
I wish I would hear this periodically.
Good luck 🤞.
I want to explode too. I love advice, but i do not want anyone to should all over me.
I feel you. Why don’t I “just listen “ is the one which makes me want to explode . All my issues are because I don’t listen apparently 🤯 x
@@Michael-db4sn Thank you for your kind gesture
@@katelilyx6323 i love that word "just"....all my troubles are "just" so simple, apparently
Thank you for this. I'm 71 years old and still carry all this. I have such a good life, yet I feel badly and unworthy.
Some things we just cant get over. I think we just have to accept that we cant get past it.
@@Richard-vq7ud Not true that you can't get past it. You need to revisit it. Learn to let your original feelings come up and relive them, usually in therapy. You need to grieve and refeel the pain that was repressed. You can heal it to a large degree, but its a long, painful process. Few choose to go there.
It sounds like you don't have a good life then.
💓
@@Robin-bk2lm yes, the videos do help
My father died in May we were estranged most of my life - Abandoned & lack of unconditional love had many toxic relationships with men throughout my life looking for the ‘father figure’ fix!! So I began to heal my inner child..... at 50!!
I am sorry that happened to you and I appreciate you watching.
Great
Have you Heard of the TH-camr Aaron Doughty? He also talks about how to cure our inner child....im barely a new sub to the channel i clicked it cus of the title....
Your comment resonated with me because I am on a very similar path. My father died a year ago after us being basically strangers for the last 10 or 20 years.
May I ask - if you ever read this - how your healing journey is coming along?
I am sorry about your loss. You deserve all the love in the world, just like all of us. Wish you the best!
Inner child schema is dichomotous and personalized. We need to train the inner child to 1) tolerate emotions such as anger, 2) problem solving 3) Set boundaries 4) Communicate our needs instead of pushing people away and creating barriers
That’s awesome, Sadia! Thank you for watching the video and thank you for sharing. Your comment will help those who are reading the comments section. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=innerchild
Nobody ever taught me about recognizing, understanding and regulating my emotions. Both my parents had full time jobs and whem they came home the last thing they wanted to do was talk to me and teach me anything. They made nice pieces of furniture
Thanks for watching.
Mine were so wrapped up in their own problems that they didn't have time and I must say the "know how" to teach me this. I in return unfortunately did the same as it took everything I had to keep my job and my own mental health in check. I pray now I can heal myself, get my shit together, and try to be the best parent I can now.
Same here , far from teaching me any regulation,if they taught me anything it was my mother's ability to fly into a blind rage when you didn't respond like an adult for her when you were a child and my father demonstrated indifference and that all of the abuse we experienced was perfectly valid and that mother was right. Toxic chronic abuse.
@@princessc3039 don't be so hard on yourself. We all do the best we can with what we know.
This gave me a better understanding of schemas in relationship to unmet needs and the inner child.
Thanks for watching.
Thanks you so much for this. This seems to fit and cross from what I have experienced from having narcissistic parents. Not that they were narcissists themselves per say of diagnosis with NPD but I feel inherited, learned, defensive mechanisms and adopting from or adapting to these toxic relationships that the parents before them most likely suffered from to at the hands of an older uneducated generation to these things. We have made big strides and you are doing world changing and people loving work. Blessings
Thank so much for the support!!!
How to help the inner child grieve starts at 19:08
Thanks for watching.
I am so thankful for your videos. They are very well done. I'm an ACofA but I also have struggled with alcohol and binge eating (when I quit drinking). I have severe abandonment issues and have also wondered "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME" for years. I never had therapy because "I wasn't raised that way" and I have been lost for years trying to 'fix' myself. Your videos have helped validate my feelings and behaviors and help me to move forward. Thank you 🙏
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
I'm so sorry
I haven't had therapy either, too expensive.
I had a mother who, if a therapist said something that made mom look or feel bad, would berate me for listening and let me know she would be a much better therapist. Now, I end up with a very self involved man who, exactly like mom....a therapist say anything where the bf isn't the hero or perfect, I'm expected to not see them again for therapy. It's exactly the same "you can come to me with any issues and I will help, but your NEVER allowed to critique me or have a problem where I am the blame "
Truly one of the most informative videos I’ve listened to. I’m listening to the linked video now. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge!! 🙏🏼
Thanks for watching.
You are a priceless resource on youtube-thank you for sharing your gifts with us on this platform.
You are such positive light in this existence. Thank you for everything, I got one of your books now, the journey to recovery. May you be blessed always Dr.Snipes. 🌻
Thanks for watching and buying a book. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
This is a lot of new vocabulary for me: IC, schema, somatic… , etc.
Thanks for watching.
This video was extremely healing for me thank you so much Doc Snipes, God has used you majorly in my healing process and I am forever grateful 🙌🏻😊🎉
So Welcome!
Love how you do this from your heart! Thank you for all u do! I learned about myself because of you.🤗
Thanks so much!!
So did I
Wow, thank you! This will be invaluable for my conduct towards my children ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for watching.
This video is an add-on to the first video I did on Healing the Inner Child: Cognitive Behavioral strategies to Address Trauma and Abandonment th-cam.com/video/IKJPtpaNP2A/w-d-xo.html
Thank you!
Fabulous and comprehensive work. Thank you. It must be said that there is sometimes too much expectation placed on the inner adult to know or have the right responses for the inner child. That adult is not fully developed because of the trauma so it doesn’t know or have the skills to heal the child. I believe the inner child and the inner adult must commune in their own mutual language, and that’s often not a very clear or effable phenomenon. Things like inner adult asking the IC what she needs is easier said than carried out with care or finesse or with enough skill or engagement. I think this dialogue is an untapped part of the healing process and merits more attention from professionals like yourselves.
I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. How will you start healing the inner child? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=innerchild
@@DocSnipes for her I am lowering expectations when things feel hard and being with her, letting her be, quieting my mind to hear her. And for Her, I am supporting and empowering Her by exercising self discrimine and balance so She is not overwhelmed or scared to handle what’s needed.
Great video, Dr Snipes! Could you do a video of how to overcome complex trauma in adulthood and how to heal from it? I've had back to back trauma the past 10 years with not enough time in-between to heal.
Sorry...totally relate ❤️😢
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
I have had painful mental trauma for the last 30 years
Thank you so much for these videos. You’re educating me and helping me to understand and heal myself.
So welcome. I appreciate you watching
When all of my childhood trauma started to leak out , the first part was an ongoing memory of the physical abuse. When I raised it with my parents my mother said ' oh just forget about it, ' like it was some trivial inconsequential thing. Infact, the abuse was life changing and devastating. I later discovered my mother is and was a gaslighting covert narcissist.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching
I'm sorry you had to go through that. My parents also never recognized all the damage that their behaviors caused. I had to stop talking to them for a good 10 years to heal a little.......
Thank you.. very insightful.. This will help heal me in many ways... problem solving. I was a child forced to see situations no child should. My first memory is my dad beating my mom at 4 while holding her hand. Long term affect Causes a wounded child. I also grew up fast caring for myself n brother bc my mother wasn't able to provide mental n emotional security n still cant
Understand..
Childhood shouldn't be a war zone.
There is no safe place and trust is never formed. That carried over to believing toxic people who remind me of a parent actually loved me enough to protect me when they hurt me worse
Thank you for helping me put words and definitions to feelings that I’ve had for my entire life. You have unlocked core memories that were traumatizing, but now I can analyze them and can process it. I love the potential activities to do that you provide, like writing letters to someone who hurt you, and going from grade to grade and really diving more into it. Thank you so much
Thank you Dr snipes. I appreciate you x
You are so welcome
I’ve been on my inner child journey for a while now but your videos are very very helpful especially this one Letting the Inner Child Grieve, love it, thank you 🇦🇺
You continue to produce excellent work. Thank you for posting this timely video.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
This is super helpful and tangible. Thank you so so much!
Great teaching thank you Doc Snipes 🙌🏻🌞
Thanks for watching.
It's a very interesting to learn about learned Behavioral aspects and how they go into the adulthood learned survival instincts and how they manifest and go over to the adulthood
You’re an angel. Thank you do much 🙏🌺
You are so welcome
Thank you Dr. Snipes. I relate to so much of what you said here. The feeling of guilt (everything is my fault) I carry that on today. Not having my feelings validated, I still get angry today. Even so, there is so much that I am not aware of. Yes, I'm afraid of getting in touch with my inner child. I have been taught that through meditation I can get in touch with my inner child. Your video has been very helpful. Thanks again.
You’re so welcome. Thank you so much for watching. How are you planning to help the inner child process grief?
@@DocSnipes I would reassure the inner child that he is safe and that he is loved through positive affirmations. Self hugs are helpful as well.
You are very well informed and make great videos many will benefit from. Thank you for taking the time to put these together.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Good morning from Barbara G
Thanks for watching.
I felt lost alone never bonding with my mom trying to find my place in the world with no security and no emotional attachments to anyone who which I needed that as a young child
You are amazing Dr. Snipes! Thank you for your amazing videos!
You’re most welcome. Thank you for watching the video and for your kind words
Thank You ❤‼️ I’m tryin heal my inner child;: At Age four 4 aa drunken drive caused d an a accident that massacred four people -my 10 year old sister pushed me & saved my life, I had an open head injury and compound fracture on my L-tibia. One lady lost her 2 yr old baby, hr husband and she was carrying a 6 month old in her womb-she was left paralyzed. As for my sister she was carried away trapped by the back tire, her body parts were dragged through the tire & left though out the sidewalk. injured 3 people- Myself, my mother and the woman that lost her entire family and was left paralyzed on account of a spinal injury. Six months later my mother died too-I was five years of age. My father ( a man I barely knew as he and mother had a love affair) My grandmother called and I was forced to go live alone with him. As a musician, he would leave me alone at nigh that was very scary for me. In a month ashen I arrived from schools woman & baby I found in our kitchen. This was to be my new mother. I was forced to call her mother and that began the torture for the entire aspect of my life, the psychological issues are made worse as now stepmother is a “ saint” . As I was not allowed to grieve for my two loved ones. My mom had another daughter, she was killed 2 years later by her abusive wife beater. As I was torn away from anyone that was related to my mother I became lost. In a world of meanness & physical & psychological abuse. I ran away many times, the last time I never returned. I joined the United States Air Force. That’s another story. Overall, at 66, perhaps I’m running away again-I’m moving to Mexico to be AWAY FAR AWAY from any more disrespect from the “ Family” as I was never adopted, they call me the “bastard” and that I a whore just like my mom. Their mom is a “saint” as she refutes any mistreatment of me. Also, my daughter had abandoned me as no one ever treated her bad. So, do you give ZOOM appointments? I believe I want to grieve but can not. I don’t trust anybody, and I choose to isolate as that is what I have learned.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️🙏
I appreciate you watching. Please message support@docsnipes.com and we can try to help you find a therapist in your area.
Thank you Hope Hailey
Thanks for watching.
This resonates with me so much! 💕
Thanks for watching.
Exactly what I needed
Thanks for watching.
Love the format. Lovely seeing you talk. Beautiful helpful information. Thank you very much ❤
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Thank you 💚💚💚
Thanks for watching.
I hear videos like this one and find them very triggering because they are so true in my case and I resonate with almost every point being made. I did save this one and will listen to more of yours however just because I am trying very hard to heal my inner child. I also need to know to function in the world today because I’m realizing that a lot of my issues, addictions and problems stem from my traumatic childhood.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=CPTSD
Hi Janet , I'm experiencing the same. It's learning about this in my 40's that has been overwhelming because I'm living a different life because the new awareness of my abusive oast that was previously buried by me has been shattering. I suppose ' knowing ' at least allows us to get on the healing path.
Im struggling too. Lost a job and feeling challenged because my trauma has been Triggered and fell into a deep depression. Trying to get myself out now. Hang in there.
Such a necessary video thank you. ❤️
So welcome. Thanks for watching.
Thank you..Barbara Russell
Thanks for watching.
Thanks Doc Snipes ❤️
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Thank you. This is very helpful. ❤
Thanks for your videos I can’t stop crying, this is really help heal me…
I truly appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=innerchild
Looking good doc Snipes.
Much appreciated
Thank you so much for this information. This is very helpful 🙏🏻
You’re most welcome. I appreciate you watching the video
Your videos are really high quality and helpful. Thank you
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching. What is the first thing you are planning to do to help the inner child process grief?
Thank you
You’re so welcome. What tip are you planning to use first to help the inner child process grief?
Thank you for this
You’re so welcome! Thank you for watching the video. I don’t know if you’ve seen the other videos on the inner child.
Here they are: th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=innerchild
I’m trying to get in touch with my true feelings and reparent my inner child. I’m trying to reduce my fractures from a lifetime of gaslighting experiences throughout my entire childhood.😂❤
Thank you so much 🧡
So welcome! Thank you for watching!
❤ Thank you ! You are amazing 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
You’re most welcome. Thank you so much
Can’t wait! It’s going to be so helpful!
Let me know if you have any questions. Have you watched the video in Healing the Wounded Inner Child: Cognitive Behavioral Strategies? th-cam.com/video/IKJPtpaNP2A/w-d-xo.html
I will try to listen to the rest of this later.. This is good stuff..
I appreciate you watching
@@DocSnipes I did watch the rest of this.. I do need to reparent myself but I am having a difficult time connecting with the different ages of the inner children..
Thank you for everything you do, I’m so grateful to have found you. I wish they had therapist like you around here so I could really work through some things❤️
You’re most welcome. Thank you for watching the video
Thank you soo much ❤
You're welcome 😊
so informative . thankyou .
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching
I feel so seen and understood omg
I appreciate you watching
Love this 🦋 thanks.
You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching. What tips from the video will you use to help the inner child grieve?
@@DocSnipes Using alternate explanations to reform the narrative into a constructive mental framework.
Your awesome. Thank you So much ❤
You are so welcome
i nearly didnt watch this because inner child work has never worked for me in the past, and a lot of activities can be offputtingly sentimental-like imo, but this is the real deal, i am amazed at how it explains a bit towards my lack of ability to show initiativeup or speak up in m childhood about all sorts of things - i shall watch this all the way through when i have the time, and try to read piaget.
I appreciate you watching. What is the first thing you are planning to do to heal your inner child?
Danke!
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
I really want to thank you so much,your videos are super helpful and very useful.
You’re so welcome! Thank you so much for watching the video. Here are more videos on the inner child: th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=innerchild
I need help....the inner child found me before i knew what it was...i opened up about secrets i held for 20 years which opened new memories my brain had suppressed... and had no coping mechanisms. The child sat next to me, tears in her eyes...her eyes are my eyes my eyes are her eyes, but im not in her, nor in my current shell. She was distressed and wanted help...and i told her i couldn't, i was not ok feeling helpless and suicidal at, i walked away. I felt sorry for her, but couldn't empathize. Over the next few years, i felt like nothing, phycosis blackout delusions, stripped of everything i built my identity on, bedridden, followed by chronic disease. I stared seeing phycologists, took meds, practiced meditation and grounding and worked on toxic brain talk. Im better, but not ok, im terrified to address again, im not safe from my emotions. i have the cognitive ability of a primary child, and need to address religious cult physical and mental abuse trauma, sexual abuse, running from home and being disowned at 18 , repeated assault as naive adult, abusive relationships, now reliving and awakening these demons. I realize now iv desosiated my whole life struggling with self harm to ease the pain in my head, i still remember how good both felt as a young child, i learned that anyone could physicaly hurt and control me as much as they wanted, but they would not control my thoughts. Seems i was wrong, because they stole that too
Thanks!
Thanks for watching.
I really like how you put the bullet points and text up on the left side of the screen.
I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=innerchild
I am orphan and survivor of child and adolescent abuse, it has been an ongoing process..came to terms I don't belong anywhere
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=trauma
There's a great breathing device out there that you can change the resistance on that increases lung capacity, but also allays the stress response or feelings of panic.
This resonated so much. Severe childhood emotional abuse and neglect, bullying, rough environments and upbringing surely does everything you speak about here to an individual.
So glad to finally have a roadmap on how to heal. Thank you thank you thank you! Your videos will really make my therapy sessions more worthwhile.
I'm curious what you think about Homecoming written by John Bradshaw.
Be well!
I am so grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. I am sorry about your childhood. What tips did you find most useful from the video?
th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=innerchild
Hello from little Dana☀️
Thanks for watching.
Hi from little Melissa...
I like what you did with the thumbnails. You where asking questions about that last year.
Thanks for watching.
Good Morning from Curtis M.
Morning!
Helpful 😊
Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching.
Thanks
Welcome
We empathic people are powerful in the world of corruption/narcissists.
Haha. “Get over it”. I wish I was even acknowledged on that level. No one even knew my pain. I was a chair to push around and unleash anger onto that’s it.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
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Is a narcissistic behavior disorder from a hyper controlling father who is bipolar and double talked over everything like the elephant in the room? Why do I feel small in the world at 51?
Dr. Snipes, do you know of programs that do live group therapy in which the process you have described in this video.
I had a very traumatic childhood. I'm 53 and it was only about 10 years ago I started to try to understand it. I still suffer and all I ever hear is I need to let it go. For some reason I can't. I constantly think of particular events that crushed me. It has consumed me. I want to get help and I don't know how or where to start.
You are a great candidate for trauma counseling, with a Licensed Professional Counselor. Unpacking trauma is a definite area to work with a professional.
@@DocSnipes ok. Where can I get that help? I live in Massachusetts.
This is making lots of senses
CRAVES please write what that stands for here 🙏
Thanks for watching.
❤️❤️
Thanks for watching!
Why would one want to learn how to grieve? It is easy, meaning and purpose on the other hand is not as simple.
Coolness
I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=innerchild
Barbara H here
22:05 CRAVES - secure attachments.
I appreciate you watching. You can find other videos on creating secure attachment at: th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
🖤🖤
Thanks for watching.
Im a new subscriber thankyou for your content, as a screwed up adult mentally, emotionally, physically....It is very tough for me to have romantic relationshps, they have either been platonic, third party or rejection, with only one "serious relationship" lasting only 1yr 5 mnths...which I had to end due to multiple ghosting times......I wish there could be a magical pill to remove all of that BS that lingers even with Counseling Thrapy, pills what ever.....the past just does go away....😞😡
We have to be brave on this journey to slay the dragons and be set free. Hang in there. God never gives us more then we can bear
You’re so welcome. I am sorry that happened to you. What tips from the video will you add to your list of actions to take to help the inner child process grief?
I'm having a hard time and I'm suffering with PTSD because people keep trying to trigger me and just abusing me I've dealt with a lot of abuse already all my life mentally physically and verbally. I'm tired. I don't really have anyone to speak about these things with either. I try talking to family but I don't want to burden them.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. Here are some videos on dealing with toxic people: th-cam.com/users/live1LziPC0M_Zw?feature=share
th-cam.com/users/liveBl6EZALS8HQ?feature=share
th-cam.com/video/PoOpk48Tdn8/w-d-xo.html
💫
Thank you so much for watching
@@DocSnipes 🙂
I have DID and have inner children.
Thanks for watching!
What do you do if your angry and you don’t know why when you look back
❤️🌹🕊
Thanks for watching.
Helping understand things that really matter
Thanks for watching.
which inner child ? which one to help and cherish and hug?... seven year old? then there is one 9 year old, and the 15 years old, 19, 22... then there are the young women 30, 35, 40.... which one to take care of? all hurt with many different things still with the same family members and plus her husband starting in her late twenties .... how to be able to save and love them all...
I would like to add to the anger, anxiety, guilt/shame and grief IC feelings which is feeling unloveable. Or perhaps shame should be replaced by feeling unloveable. Bc then that automatically provokes the adult to help the IC feel loved.
Thanks for watching and for sharing your thoughts
I can hear that you are very good and clear about this, but am too stress sick to take it in and to do much more work on my own. And I fear getting a little better on the surface, lest they then turn that too against me, saying as in 1997 that there ae others who are worse, therefore no therapy. I have to get better or I'll die soon, but I can't because then I can't easily prove that I need help. Flawed thinking probably, irrational.
Do you have some acuter zoom therapy or conselling or crisis help? I think you are fully booked, but ask anyway.
Think of the military child who moves every year or two (losing home, neighborhood, school, friends, favorite places and foods). Who experiences many temporary losses of a parent to deployments. Who loses a sense of safety as a result of a parent being put at risk in combat and from a greater knowledge of conflicts and dangers in the world. Who may lose a parent or the parent of a friend to training accidents or combat. Who is expected to not have any anger, grumpiness, fussiness, loneliness, grief, or fear. Who must be a cheerful trouper to relieve parents of the need to deal with the emotions of the child, as the parents have considerable stressors of their own to deal with that take priority.
Military children are brave, resilient, adaptable, experienced with many places and cultures and types of people, able to respond quickly with problem solving in a crisis, quick to make friends, and make the most out of experiences. Military children sacrifice much to help achieve the mission of keeping the country safe.
We should celebrate them as much as we do those actively serving or veterans.
Adults who grew up in this environment are likely to have an inner child who has a lot of grief to process.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: th-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=CPTSD