ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 มิ.ย. 2024
- Do you fear that your body language might unknowingly be putting a damper on your attraction with your crush, and now you're overthinking about it? Don't worry. We got you covered. In this video, we will be discussing the subtle body languages that could kill attraction.
#attractive #bodylanguage #attraction #relationship
Writer: Brandi Ortiz
Editor: Sidney Thompson
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Maggie Wehler
TH-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
REFERENCES:
healthmatters.nyp.org/how-to-prevent-tech-neck/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CTech%20neck%2C%E2%80%9D%20the%20act,a%20problem%20that's%20getting%20worse
www.betterhelp.com/advice/bullying/the-body-language-definition-what-is-it-and-why-does-it-matter/
www.verywellmind.com/how-do-i-maintain-good-eye-contact-3024392
www.nhs.uk/conditions/kyphosis/#:~:text=poor%20posture%20(postural%20kyphosis)%20%E2%80%93,up%20being%20out%20of%20position
www.hyperhidrosiscumc.com/signs-of-nervousness-nervousness-body-language/#:~:text=Fidgeting%20is%20small%20movements%20made,anticipation%20of%20moments%20of%20discomfort.
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/spycatcher/201001/body-language-the-hands#:~:text=Those%20who%20hide%20their%20hands,hands%20together%20when%20feeling%20stress.
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201507/trauma-and-the-freeze-response-good-bad-or-both
![ไม่ต้องมีที่ที่ให้ฉันอยู่ แต่ขอแค่มีฉันอยู่ก็พอ (Spaceless) - getsunova [SHORT FILM]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/MuT0d_cvJkc/mqdefault.jpg)
Do any of you do any of body language mentioned in this video? We have this video to help you make people like you more (be more attractive in their eyes). Watch next: th-cam.com/video/yCBG2RiX1cA/w-d-xo.html
I have the freeze response
I have the freeze response what about you
I have almost all of these because I am Autistic and have ADHD…
but what’s weird is that I never saw these as unnattractive on other people. If anything, to me it hinted “ooh! Is this person like me?”
No thanks, I want to be unattractive
My issue with eye contact is that it feels intrusive and intimate. So as much as I know people look for eye contact naturally, it feels deeply uncomfortable because I feel like I'm having my privacy invaded or like I'm invading their privacy oddly enough. I try to make eye contact with people but then my eyes end up bouncing all over the place so it's easier for me to just directly say "I am paying attention, I just have a lot of difficulty with eye contact"
I getcha… unless I’m flirting with someone, giving someone a dirty look, in a formal setting, or with a very close friend of mine, I don’t like make eye contact, and the way I always explain it to ppl is “the eyes are the window to the soul and it feels wrong to be a peeping tom”
I can make eye contact, but sustaining it is very uncomfortable.
Yeah, I experience the same. I've said it to a few people that I'm not very good with eye contact. Hopefully... people could understand
Inability to make eye contact is one of the signs that can be tied to autism. Especially the bit about privacy.
@@SquanchyCatDad
You’re right, it is. I know you’re not talking specifically to me, but I was diagnosed with autism at a very young age. The only reason I can make eye contact at all/give the appearance of making eye contact is because I worked on it with a speech/language councilor for two years.
"Don't be afraid to use your hands to tell a cool story!"
Yeah, that was kinda beaten out of me and is likely why I keep my hands in my pockets. My entire family made fun of me as a child for using my hands to talk... Working on it with my therapist, so I'm happy to hear someone else say the same thing.
i love when people talk with their hands! it helps make the story more interesting. when people talk with their hands, they’re not just talking, they’re telling a story. way more fun and intrigues me more!
Same, with a Haitian mother, talking with hands is rude
I talk a lot with my hands and I get made fun of it too. It’s okay! Don’t worry, I personally think it’s super fun!
As part of a culture that talks with their hands (in my view) you're okay and welcome to be as expressive with your hands as you can! (Puerto Rican if you're wondering 😁)
You are you, no less and can be more.
OH MY GOODNESS YES! Literally it be the whole fam tho
I had a traumatic experience with my father when I was a boy that resulted in me being unable to look people in the eye. Ultimately if I looked someone in the eye I would get yelled at. Fast forward 30 something years, after a stern my eyes are up here, I've become much more comfortable looking people in the eye, yet I still struggle with groups of people.
I also find anxiety to be an overload of emotion and finding a way to dial it down a bit is important. Lately I find that if I ask myself to turn it down my body becomes more relaxed, and the anxiety goes away.
same.. i had a trauma that also resulted in me with social anxiety. Struggling to meet people with eye contact. It seems the only person i can look at directly are the ones that are close to me. Especially my mom. it feels less lonely when someone has experienced the same thing before. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts
Mine had a scary temper and it had a big effect on me. As someone who can relate, let me say it's good that you're working on it and I can appreciate how hard that can be.
Let the past in the past, forgive your parents, they are not perfect just like all human beings, move on and try to focus on the way they did their best to protect us and making our lives easy...
Istg same, it really bothers me, I grew up mostly lonely at school and never really had friends so I was very anti social, I still am but I’m trying to improve, but it’s hard, anyway like every time I meet my relatives and shake their hands I smile but I automatically notice I don’t even look at them to their eyes, the moment I look up to their face my eyes go darting around everywhere and it makes me feel bad, at least I should be able to feel comfortable with my relatives, well I am emotionally but it psychologically I don’t feel as comfortable I think that’s why my lack of eye contact is extremely uncontrollable, but with other people outside my comfort zone I don’t make any contact, not even talking, I’m mostly just always quiet, like every since I moved out of the place I was born in and grew up in I feel homesick I started having the habit of not making contact with anyone, I was like that before but now I’m more anti social, cuz I mostly missed my only friends I left behind, although I have friends here but I don’t really hang out with them outside of school, my other friend she was basically my sister , her and her sister were family to our family , so it’s hard
Timestamps
1). Where are you looking at 0:33
2). Tech neck 1:32
3). Can stretch supporting muscles 1:59
4). Human fidget spinner 2:39
5). Show me your hands 3:26
6). Frozen 4:31
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
That's only 5
thanks
Thank you
it helped me ^^
@@TheLastLivinGameCubeExactly.
Why was sans here 😭
Whos sans
A video game character@@AZRAEL_FURY
Why is marina here
Why not?
Why was the Ice King there too?
0:34 I think a lot of us, had parents, that would force us to look in their eyes when they were mad, and yelling at you.
So, as kids, our brains absorbed that, as, "looking into the eyes is bad, because you are getting talked down to, berated, etc."
And then it developed into, "I should not look at other people in the eyes. Why are you looking in their eyes?!"
Me watching this to learn how to be as unaproachable as possible...
Nice
Same
*when you realize you have ALL issues* 💀
That's something you should talk to someone about but it might show signs of general anxiety.
Me too bruh
The Sans eye at 2:03 had me laughing for no reason 😭
Dun dun dun dun moment
i kid you not i was looking for someone else who noticed that-
Same lol
YES- someone else noticed 😭
And the Overwatch reference at 4:38
There was also an adventure time reference, specifically the ice king
As somebody on the ASD/ADHD/CPTSD spectrums... Yeah, I don't make eye contact unless I *really trust someone*, and i'm really comfortable in situations. I also have a significant issue with people, men primarily, thinking that i'm flirting with them simply when I have made eye contact.
I'd honestly rather die alone than be constantly mistaken to be flirting or attracted to people.
As somebody else on the ASD spectrum, though without the CPSTD, I get people who are scared of me when I make eye contact, usually saying it feels like I'm studying/evaluating, or even appraising them, some have said it felt as though I was even looking through them, I think this is equal parts my eye color (icy/steely blue-gray) and my face hardly moving during conversation
@@samasher7756 I have a friend like this, I really think she’s scary sometimes
What people think doesn’t really matter, we waste a lot of our valuable time torturing ourselves trying to “like everyone”, making everyone comfortable, or worrying of what they think about us. If someone takes your intentions the wrong way it’s on them, just don’t pay attention to it, it’s not worth it. Just let them think of you whatever they want, it’s not your fault and you really can’t control how they take it, but you can control how you feel about it, and not being bothered at all of what others might say about you is the best thing you can do for yourself, avoiding this type of “uncomfortable” situations will only hurt you and will even make you loose trust on yourself, your mind doesn’t need that, you deserve way better than that, we need to show some compassion to ourselves. I talk on experience. Everything it’s alright. Merry Christmas btw ❤
If you don't put makeup it's much more chance they wouldn't find it flirtatious when you look at them, just a tip...
But maybe you subconsciously want to seduce people?
Dayum samsies, except I have OCD also. I get the acronym trophy 😂😂😂
1. practice keeping eye contact (how?: practice with TV show characters, people close to you, pets)
2. don‘t hunch, work on your posture (how?: yoga, running, walking, sitting upright)
3. don‘t fidget with your hands (how?: try being aware of your hands)
4. don‘t hide your hands (how?: use your hands to gesture while talking -> builds trust, is more engaging)
5. try not to freeze (how?: identify what is making you uncomfortable/nervous/anxious -> are you really in danger or just nervous?)
Hope this helps 🥰
My biggest problem is definitely freezing. I’m actually surprised by myself, I managed to figure out and begin to address the rest of the problems before this video.
So how do you adress the freezing? I freeze when I try to confront my social anxiety. Video sais you have to tell yourself that you are not in danger, yet I can‘t unthink the feeling of thread in certain social situations.
So do I have to tell myself that freezing aint bad? But the video says that other people will also feel very uncomfortable; but it is a big part of my anxiety to make other people feel uncomfortable, then I feel that my behaviour is out of place.
Same here. I go silent and even my breath freezes- when I try to speak my words are choppy cause I’m not breathing
I live by the rule "when in doubt give up and retreat"
I think it's also important to remember that human beings are complex, and just because we have a social standard doesn't make anyone "incorrect" for doing things differently.
Trying to act like the majority or status quo can help, but we really should be learning to understand that everyone is different and learn to accept that some people operate differently in terms of body language specifically, and in turn, putting less value on unnecessary assumptions made through interpreting body language. All it takes generally speaking is understanding the body language tendencies of the person you're talking too which is necessary for most occasions beyond brief encounters anyway(if there's a behavior we don't understand, we should discuss it with them. Doing so should be encouraged rather than making unnecessary assumptions), and I fear that unless properly specified, videos like this can make people anxious and put added pressure to act like others unnecessarily and unfairly.
It should be an equal effort for both parties, and the way this topic is often framed only pressures those who have differing body language rather than those interpreting, and on top of that, it's so often discussed as if it's some kind of defect, when in reality, it's just as natural as any other differences in people. Humans are different.
For a personal example, my partner sometimes has what would be considered atypical body language at times, and once I understood how she really felt during those moments(through conversation and discussion), I learned what those body language signals actually meant for future occasions, and sometimes it was the direct opposite of what I initially thought. Obviously, it's not always necessarily that easy, as sometimes in emotional situations I can forget about what certain things actually mean, but we work together and there's no negative pressure. That's just how she shows her emotions. Additionally though, it's not one sided the other way either: she makes an effort to notice certain behaviors and verbally lets me know while also making an effort to adjust(for example, saying she's listening or adding little "uh huh"s, "yeah"s, or similar contextual responses if she's fidgeting and/or looking away so I don't think she's not paying attention).
We live in a world of oversimplification and I don't want anyone considered atypical to feel like they don't belong or are "wrong" because they very much do belong and aren't "wrong" at all. We are all different, some ways being more noticeable than others, but we are still all human and deserve to be respected as such and not be discriminated against. We need to take some pressure off of others by acknowledging and understanding their differences, rather than just forcing them to assimilate. This is a fundamental concept that applies to literally everything relating to human behavior, and I would hope that further explanation is seen as quite unnecessary in regards for why forcing someone to act in a way unnatural to them unnecessarily is generally harmful, especially in an environment of shame and an unwillingness towards sharing the effort of communication an interpretation.
I do however like that the video brought some awareness towards how and why some tend to show atypical body language/behaviors, and I do think it had quite informative content in general. I just wanted to discuss this point because I didn't necessarily like how it was framed. It definitely was clearly intended to be presented respectfully, but I think more could have been done to specify that these are just behaviors seen as typical with extra emphasis on ensuring viewers don't feel pressure or anxiety regards to behaving "typically", just simply due to the sensitive nature of such a topic. Additionally, I would have liked to see what I discussed here within the video: equal responsibility in effort of understanding atypical behaviors, rather than just "corrections" towards said behaviors. I still acknowledge and appreciate the efforts made towards being respectful and informative within the video; this is just constructive criticism and a message for others to hopefully reduce anxiousness and spread understanding.
The click-bait title also doesn't help.
Yeah i'm really starting to lose faith in this channel, seeing a lot more of this stuff being uploaded
This comment needs more likes
TLDR
@@ALT-vz3jn My apologies. I felt the topic deserved such a response, but I'll make a quick summary for you:
TL;DR:
This video could have the tendency to make people feel like they are wrong for having and producing neurodivergent behaviours, and I believe, due to the importance of accurate representation of such an important topic, that which many who are directly effected have a sensitivity around, more should have been done to avoid such. The video seems to be framed in a way that, rather than respects different ways of emotional expression and general behaviours, lays them out as incorrect unless they are "neurotypical".
TL;DR: TL;DR(In case that was also too long):
Bad framing of sensitive subject causes bad vibes. Don't cause bad vibes. Be careful of how topics are framed (especially sensitive ones).
Love the "Adventure Time" and "Undertale" references!
Maintained eye contact is a very ethnocentric take. Someplaces eye contact is considered offensive and even antagonistic.
The mindfulness advice is so key for me in so many areas of my life. It’s helped me process emotions more easily, resolve anxiousness at times, fix stress injuries (pinched nerves in my neck and shoulders as well as sciatica), soothe headaches, and more. I’m just a type of person where I can’t help but let lots of things stress me out, but getting better and better with mindfulness has been making my quality of life so much better these past few years and I will always be a proponent
I'm autistic, so when I avoid eye contact, it's usually not cause I'm anxious. (Sometimes that's the case) its usually cause I get easily "distracted", I'm still listening and processing your words to make a response, but I'm also looking around, being observant. If anything, that should be a trait to praise, not put down.
Like I said, I'm not ignoring you or getting sidetracked. I'm holding on to most if not every word you say, and i still come up with a response without much delay. I'm just seeing things around me, glancing down at my hands or looking out a window, keeping an eye out on someone acting "sus"
So….im autistic -now what?
same, i cant simply just "not fidget" , and eye contact makes me uncomfortable, AND i have bad posture 😭
I'm also autistic but I don't struggle with eye contact. Some people even criticized me for "staring" into their eyes 😅. Although when I was younger, I used to avoid it all the time, I was able to overcome my anxiety by just forcing it. It's easier said than done, but once you put yourself in enough anxious situations, eventually, it won't be stressful anymore. But that's what's worked for me, at least.
Analyse and brute force the points you wanna practice. It's what I did. Now, lots of embarrassment later, I am slightly less embarrasssing :)
I love that channel
I was just thinking about that when I was watching this. Being autistic makes communication about 93% more difficult. Not that people cannot read you, they just have trouble understanding you; but you cannot read them.
I would say the best thing to do would be to be open about your autism so that people know to tell you how they’re feeling rather than assuming you are reading it
Body language can provide some insight into what someone may be thinking/feeling at the time, but quite often we tend to misinterpret those nonverbal signs. When someone crosses their arms, they may be closed off. Or maybe they're just cold! As you mention, it's not a foolproof method and the various possibilities as to why someone is acting a certain way should always be considered. It's a tricky area of research!
2:04 I love the references in your videos!! I'm happy to see him here, because i was just playing the game💀
snas undertale
I was looking for this comment
4:45 reference to ice king from adventure time ❤
*war flashbacks from fighting sans*
I can hear the boss music now...
You changed my life by educating me on tech neck. It's a wonderful change to see in the mirror, how more confident i look when my head aligns correctly with my spine
A few of these things I used to do and it does take time to change them but following along with all of these at this point in my life. Really cool to see hypohydrosis showing up because I actually have that as well. 😂 One reason I put my hands in my pockets or cross my arms with my palms down is because my hands are overly sweaty even though I took my medication.
😭😭😭😭Not the references
1:15
wasn’t expecting such subtlety using that Shinji😂
Fr
All the way from the end of elementary school to high school graduation (and still going), I’ve always kept my hands in my hoodie pockets because I had never felt comfortable with my body, wearing hoodies and baggy pants all through the year (even during summer) was my way of keeping myself safe, by hiding away every possible bit of skin under several layers of clothing. The Covid-19 pandemic actually helped me even more through high school because of the mandatory mask policy, it let me cover up more of myself…
THANK YOU SMMMMM omg I was non confident like an actual introvert 3 years ago after watching y'all's vids I've worked on myself so hard I'm still struggling but im improving I can approach everyone anytime rn and I have so much friends that I'm grateful for so much thanks to god then you keep it up you have the power to change everyone's lives love you!!
Love the sleepy voice lady 🥺 super calming
This video is a valuable guide for self-reflection and practical techniques to enhance body language and it's a motivation to apply these insights in my daily interactions. I learn a lot here.
Something I learned that can help with tech neck ans strengthening the neck itself is chin tucks (think pushing your head back and forth like a duck). You can do them within every half hour anywhere you are (car, train, at home, etc.), while sitting with your head forward. Also, leaning the head back (slowly) and up again (in the normal position, not looking down) is another exercise to relieve neck pain. These are physical therapy exercises I learn from "Bob and Brad" TH-cam channel. They are physical therapist who have about 30 years of exepreice between them.
I found Bob and Brad helped, I had a pinched nerve in my neck and it really sucked. But one of their videos helped me. Very good channel
Ive had so much trouble with anxiety and overthinking over traumatic or future events, every time i feel down or like theres no way out, i watch a Psych2go vid, its soothing and relaxing while helping me to my express myself better, thank you so much.
This video really described me. I can look at someone directly in the eye but just a minute later, I would look away feeling uncomfortable and nervous. I have no problem with tech neck because every time that I use computer, I sit straight but when it comes to writing in class, I need to look down because I can't see what I'm writing. Fidgeting my hands and nails is like a normal thing for me since childhood. I thought it was just an annoying habit but it actually shows that I'm anxious or just uncomfortable. Freezing is also another me problem because I just freeze at random times especially when I'm nervous to the point that if I'm asked something that made me nervous, it would take me like a few seconds before answering.
The biggest failure to socialize as a guy is till being below 6'0
Find someone who loves you and your traits including those ones. You shouldn't need to hide those things in front of someone who is truly meant for you. The only thing to work on is if there is any anxiety - but those traits alone are perfectly okay!! The video described me too. It's hard, especially with messages like these being EVERYWHERE, but we also have to love ourselves for our traits. Confidence in who you are is way better than trying to hide it to seem more 'attractive' in the eyes of closed-minded people
Every time I hear these list of these things, I recognize that almost all of these are traits that autistic people or can have. I must say it’s a little disappointing that the onus seems to usually fall on the person who is behaving “differently” to change their behavior to appear more normal, when people could also be more understanding of difference.
For this Audhd-er it’s simply to exhausting so I gravitate toward understanding people. 🖤
I was thinking the same thing. We need a more understanding society that truly understands that people are different and that being different is not something to be shunned but embraced 😧
@@MissingRaptorThat is Never going to happen. Just saying. Humanity is a Lost Cause. Accept it.
Society is Stupid.
You have to challenge Society because of how Stupid it is.
Even if everyone understanded it, they wouldn't be able to change the way, which they subconciously perceive the body lenguage.
as a person with adhd, i find it extremely hard to make and maintain eye contact. my eyes usually end up wandering somewhere else and i really can't control it.
and, i naturally just like to keep my head down and sit with less straight posture, as it's more comfortable and easier for me. Keeping straight posture and keeping my head straight up always makes me feel so awkward and it makes it hard to focus on anything else except how straight i'm sitting.
also, due to how short my attention span usually is, i CONSTANTLY need something for my hands or legs or whatever to be doing so i don't lose focus and/or keep myself preoccupied. I subconsciously fidget a lot of the time without realizing i do it, as it's just something my body knows it needs and just kinda...does on it's own. i play with my hands, swing my legs, spin my rings or bracelets, pick at my nails, etc. Whatever I need to feel focused or less anxious.
i also like to hide my hands a lot. whether it be pockets, inside my sleeves, in my bag, or even wearing oversized clothes that cover my fingers. it's not that i'm nervous or stressed, it's just something i do by habit. i do often talk with hand gestures and motions but sometimes i like to just keep my hands hidden and maybe i'm NOT excited.
sometimes i don't like to use my hands when i talk. i don't want to force myself to use my hands. warm thoughts and TRYING to keep my hands warm has never really helped me and usually just MAKE me stressed because now i'm THINKING about my hands.
and i always freeze when i'm nervous. i stop talking. i stop moving. my brain shuts off. just nothing but discomfort. freezing up is something i do like all the time.
deep breaths make me more nervous
telling myself i'm not in danger doesn't help, sure, i'm not gonna die, but i still feel overwhelmed and emotionally awful
sure, i'm not in imminent danger, but that doesn't mean i'm not any less scared/anxious.
anyway sorry for my rant
Just a note.. maybe don't practice eye contact with your dog.
Ive always had a problem with eye contact. I get really anxious. I think this is brought on by my dad; when I was a kid, he'd make us look him in the eye when he was angry with us, and he would always be filled with rage.
My father was the exact same way, and it took me YEARS to be able to look people in the eyes at all. I still struggle deppending on the person and situation, and I'm in my mid 30's xP
You still haven't explain why we shouldn't practice on dogs?
@@bluedaylight1243 holding eye contact with dogs can be really stressing to them. It's like you're challenging them.
One of my earliest memories is being yelled at by my military officer father for climbing up the bookcase. I was about three. I can see him now, he looks so young and fierce.
After that, eye contact and dealing with people barking at me has been a SNAP! Not everything is trauma, i live in gratitude for him and his ways.
I must be a master at flirting because i did all of these 👌
"1: eye conctact" my autistic* ass: 🗿
absolutely love all the little references in these videos
The eye context really helped me, and helped me actually look at people more often
I'm on the spectrum an eye contact was severely overstimulating growing up. Luckily, I realized it was a skill I needed to hone while I was still young so I started making "Eye Contact" with the bridge of the nose between them before branching out. It took me 3 years and in moments of critical stress I still lose my grip on several skills like eye-contact, but it was worth the effort to build them. Once I hit the point where I felt I mastered it, I started noticing patterns where I'd see the same eyes in different faces. Over the years I've found it's given me more accurate impressions of people. Eye contact is important, and it is absolutely a skill that can be built upon.
This is actually very helpful. Thank you. ❤
Impeccable work on the art and message, definitely invoke self- awareness... Keep up the good work
I used to be really bad with eye contact when I was a teen but I was able to overcome it and now I'm very good at maintaining it generally. The thing that helped me was someone mentioned to someone I knew that I wasn't keeping eye contact and it was enough to get me to fix that problem.
I make so much eye contact, and I know I make some people nervous and uncomfortable. I don’t look around very often when I talk to someone. It’s eye contact 99% of the time during a conversation. But my biggest problem (that’s mentioned in this video) is that I freeze a lot when I’m anxious, and not the cold kind. My mind will go blank sometimes, and I feel so stupid.
I agree. I make eye contact and that’s just natural to me. I’m not uncomfortable with it. And if I kill an attraction because of it so be it. I’m not gonna try to be someone I’m not just to attract a person.
One tip I’ve learned, while eye contact is important, it can absolutely unsettle people if sustained too long.
For public speaking, I’ve learned the maximum safe eye contact is ~3 seconds. After that, you should shift attention to another audience member.
In one on one conversations where you can’t shift your gaze between individuals, I find that breaking eye contact by leaning in and pointing your ear to the other person (as if to better hear them) is a good way to keep showing engagement without unsettling them.
Also, by using your hands or other objects when speaking, you give the other party a comfortable place to look at while still paying attention.
You have no idea how calming this voice is
Freezing is a big problem for me in social situations, and i only just realized from this video, so thankyou! I'll try to use those techniques in future, I hope they'll help ^v^
As someone who suffers a lot with the eye contact thing I've noticed that telling the person you're talking to that eye contact makes you uncomfortable tends to work. Communicating that eye contact unsettles you 9/10 (in my experiences) doesn't weird the person out, it just let's them know that the reason you're not making eye contact isn't because you're not paying attention but simply because you feel more comfortable not doing it. When talking to someone you should always communicate things that unsettle you so that you can both prevent possible future awkward moments. If they cannot respect that boundary then are they really someone you want to spend your time on? Also I don't believe that a lack of eye contact is "unattractive", it just can be perceived in an unattractive way, communicating this can assure that person that it's not meant in a rude way, therefore removing the "unattractive" look.
Tech neck is a much nicer term then im used to. I've always heard it called nerd neck and yes it's very easy to get. Glad to hear the explanation for it because that definitely checks out. I was always bent over my desk doing school work back when i was a kid and i needed to be closer to the books because i needed glasses but my family couldn't afford the appointment to the eye doctor for me. So ive always had bad posture since elementary school.
Love yall sm 😭‼️
This is helping me so much and gotta say it “WAS THAT AN UNDERTALE REFERENCE”
4:40 nice overwatch reference
Then I must've killed many attractions 🙃 I couldn't help myself from looking to other things once in a while when talking to someone or looking around to think about answers of the questions they would bring up sometimes. Wandering eyes and fidgeting helps me think clearly. It's also the source of my ideas too. Great informative video as usual tho! Helps me improve myself more 😊
these videos help me to improve and be better in so many ways!
I love how y’all added different plants on their head :)
Wow! This video it's very good 😳 I actually have a lot of problems with eye contact and I'll try to practice that. The other postures, omg. It happens aaaall the time 😅 I really loved this little tricks ❤😊 thank you and keep up!
the fruit around the characters rotting when the narrator described the communication exchange as non-fruitful was a real nice touch :)
Thank you. Also enjoyed references in the video.
I love this art style!
Thank you for this helpful video 😊
ok here's the part I don't understand, I;m supposed to be true to my feelings right? but then I have to micromanage my appearance so people can tolerate my presence. so what am I supposed to do what is the middle ground im so pissed
There is no “middle ground”. Society expects fucking perfection. This is why so many people kill themselves.
i totally get it. i used become hyper aware of every single movement when in public so i dont come off as shady or insecure. this heightened awareness can either come in handy to notice small changes in an environment to actually notice a possible threat or it literally eats at us from the inside. over time, i tried being true to my feelings and just allowed myself to be me- and believe it or not, no one actually cared as much as i thought! alot of people are feeling exactly what you are, and that's normal. we're all human, and its necessary to make mistakes to evolve. here's something im trying now; i regularly perceive myself as a god, but not putting down others. i accept my quirks, and am super proud of it. don't allow any negative thoughts to even show themselves. you can do this anytime you feel people are uncomfortable with ur presence aswell. tell yourself "eh well, they dont know who i really am. of course they're gonna act this way!" be sure to also support these affirmations with actions that prove you're a god- working out, eating well, skincare, all of that.
tbh i think someone out there loves ur presence. it's just that they're not saying it, or you're too self conscious to notice. self improvement isnt a linear increasing graph, it has many fluctuations. as long as you don't give up, you're doing it right!! good luck dude, or gurl 🤘
Absolutely LOVED the Adventure Time reference when talking about freezing up. Favorite show.
I still remember that one therapy session from years ago. I always felt uncomfortable talking to my first therapist and my eyes would wander all around the room instead her face which made me struggle with focusing on answering questions she asked me. She once noticed that and seemed kind of upset and told me that looking her in the eyes would help me think of how to answer the questions so even tho I was uncomfortable and scared that's something I often do till this day. It was one of the first big advices I got when I started therapy and even if I didn't like it at that time I'm grateful that I started doing it. Now it's like a habit and because of it people sometimes even compliment me saying things like I'm good at comforting or listening to them so I'll never forget about that. It can not only be attractive but also can create a safe space or feel like you can be trusted because it's something that creates intimacy and as we all know intimacy is not only romantic.
Psych2Go should have a podcast. I manifest this in 2024
They do. Spotify
U can use yt premium.
Bro fr manifested it
0:35
1:34
2:42
3:30
4:32
Couldn’t find time stamp comment so I dids it
❤❤❤❤thanks
I always felt that prolonged eye contact, especially when there's no actual conversation was rude and was considered so too. Really helped me see what my issues are
Omg I love the OverWatch reference at 4:38
Can you do a video on how to be affectionate for those of us that grew up with emotional neglect & never got affection & now don't know how to show it as adults?
Verbalize it. First make sure the person is worth the affection as neglected people tend to stick with wrong choices. And go to therapy.
1:59 Sans from UnderTale
I’ve spent the past months working on reducing my tech neck. Whenever I grab a drink or have a loo break at work I try to a couple of shoulder rolls to engage those muscles and my posture is getting better for it
I needed this.
so helpful (im too nervous to actually do any of these)
Love the Overwatch reference! RIP to a once amazing game.
Love how i lost attention because i realized you had zarya, mercy, and mei in the video lol I like this video though its helpful
This art style is soooooo good!!!
Seeing Sans suddenly appear was the best, most exciting jumpscare I've had in a while
Back when I was in my early elementary years, I have bad teachers in which they tell at us most of the time and I noticed some of my classmates, even myself, had problems when looking someone directly in the eye. Also as an introvert, I think it's natural to freeze at during conversations when you are nervous because most introverts have low social skills. I actually do something called "calming ritual" where when I put my hand at a specific point on my body, I feel safe and relaxed, this "ritual" helps me everytime when I need to look at somebody directly in the eye without feeling nervous. As for my freezing problems, I just shake that body part that's freezing then I'm good to go, though when something inside me freezes, I just ignore that feeling and let it subside naturally because I can't shake something inside me right hahahaha
As for the "calming ritual" it's actually something that some athletes use to stay focused and not nervous, it's just a practice, just find your "sweet" spot on your body(you'll know where it is when you touched it and felt good), and everytime you feel relaxed, hold onto that "sweet" spot and hardwire the sensation in your mind(this process is quite of complicated). If you've successfully hardwired the sensation, you can now use it everytime you feel nervous, it can help, but it's not a permanent solution, you still need to face that certain something that makes you nervous without any trick in the future
Thank you so much for the tricks! I will keep it in the back of my pockets when I need it.
If you are also a nervous individual, I find it helpful to count while meditating, so if you run into an uncomfortable situation and need soothing, counting inside your brain will automatically bring your brain back to the meditating mode so you feel calmer
I keep zoning out between talking to people, so I just look at some part of their face and it helps me come back to the person without them noticing that I wasn't mentally there. Helps with short attention span when it comes to people.
awesome video!!!
I hardly analyze people's body languages, but this video made me pay attention to everything in the social world.
Who's in the comment section after seeing the OW reference??
Thanks for this❤️
I'm ill now not feeling well but i really want to say that i loved the content. It's so useful! I also want to let everyone else from the comments to know they are not alone, I'm also having trouble since I'm on thespectrum! Peace
You watch this video to make yourself more attractive. I watch this video to see how to make people avoid me. We are not the same
This is exactly what I want. I want to be unapproachable. I have learned that true friendship and true love is so extraordinarily rare that it is not even worth looking for it. One will attract social predators instead. Thus, I quit looking for friends and a girlfriend. Now, I want nobody to be attracted to me at all. I attracted the wrong people and lost a lot, from it. I want no, "friends," nor a girlfriend. With nobody in my life, I am in no danger.
Hey dude, I know making friends can be difficult but there’s always hope. Do the things that make you happy and maybe you can meet people from there
You gotta die a little to live a little. You gotta live dude. Ask someone out, make friend, get your heart broken, have a falling out. Do it over and over again and thank your lucky stars if you meet a true friend/soul mate.
@@yungtux8770 I stopped seeking companionship long ago. I have adapted to existing completely alone. I have so much liberty and free time now. There are enormous benefits to existing alone. Loneliness is not the worse thing that can happen to anybody. The many things I have had time to accomplish compensate for the departure from companionship. It is not a bad life at all.
i know this probably won’t help much, but i went through something similar, though not as serious but i had lost all my friends my boyfriend, and when all that happened my old friends started spreading horrible rumors about me making it so hard to make new friends or even go to school. at some point i was crying every night and i hated them for what they did, but mostly myself for being unable to do anything about it. i spent a lot of time alone and became depressed, started eating unhealthily or not at all, became anxious and was worried about what people thought of me 24/7, but one late night while i was scrolling as usual, i saw a video and it really made me get my shit together. i decided that i would try and fix my life and what was in the past was done, i wasn’t going to try and be friends with the people that believed those rumors or make up with my old friends. i was going to get some new friends get my life together and move on because my life is worth living and i am worth it. it was hard since my school isn’t that big, but i eventually found people that said they never believed the rumors anyways since they didn’t like the people who started them to begin with. and that’s when i started to get better. i started going out more, eating better and started working out, i eventually found some people that i felt i could rely on and is stuck with them. all i’m saying man, is idk what u have gone through, but there are people out there and it’s horrible to be alone. it doesn’t even have to be multiple people u don’t even have to be really close to them but find someone u can talk to, someone who won’t judge u and has similar interests, it helps so much, and trust me it’s so much better for me now and i’ve recovered so much from my depression and my anxiety. they can be online too if u struggle talking to people in real life. so even though you might not even read this, but i hope you do and i hope it might even change ur mind.
All of these are struggles of mine😶thank you for the help!
Greatly put! ❤
I feel like some of these could be paraphrased as saying "If you're neurodivergent or on the autism spectrum, act like you aren't, or you might make other people uncomfortable."
I might just be reading too much into it, but a lot of these behaviors can be explained by autism or neurodivergence, and "acting the way that feels normal to YOU makes others feel uncomfortable, so learn to act in a way that makes you uncomfortable instead."
Fr, this video was super ablelist.
Eye contact is tough for me.
I have a fidget ring that I use constantly cause Im subconsciously fidgeting. It is subtle enough that I don’t have to worry about coming off nervous. I’m social by default, but my brain somehow has the ability to pick up when someone isn’t a good person and switches to be more reserved. This is when the fidget ring comes in most handy cause your hands are out and you’re nodding as if you’re listening
I’ve been diagnosed with ASD so thanks for the help 👍
Eye contact remember to blink not stare, also remember some people are autistic so eye contact is expensive which means if they are doing it they are really picking or fawning for you
I was talking to my crush a while ago, and when she asked me a question, I suddenly started laughing. I have no clue why I did it, but I assume it was some sort of tick.
Simon Petrikov mentioned. I love it.
Great style with cool references, love it!!
Thanks so much!
1. Instant no, I'm autistic and hate eye contact, it feels as intimate as kissing someone on the cheek, you get one second glances every few moments and that's it. I don't even make much eye contact with my own mother or my best friends in the whole world.
If someone feels like I'm not listening because I'm not looking, that is their problem. I don't need to use my eyes to hear, I am not deaf. My ears work just fine, even with my audio processing being a little slow sometimes. If you feel like I need to look you in the eyes to understand what you're saying, you are stupid.
Making eye contact with pictures or videos is inanely easy because it's not real. This isn't going to help anyone practice.
Looking around the face or close to the face counts enough for many people as eye contact. Making eye contact isn't always literal. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. If you need to cheat by looking between the eyes or the nose or whatever, people are going to know you are looking at their face and that is enough for them.
2. Fair enough. Here's a tip if you are dealing with "Tech neck" : get a neck pillow. Use neck pillow for about 20-30 minutes a day with your head fully leaning back on the pillow and with your back to your chair. Watch something while you do this. It helps a lot with next and upper back pain too. Chiropractor gave me this tip. It actually works.
3. Once again, and this isn't Psych2Go's fault, I am not upset with them at all, fck everyone who is neurodivergent. If you have ADHD people think you're nervous, twitchy, shifty, and weird. If you are an adult with ADHD and you have a fidget toy you are perceived as childish and immature. Mindfulness only goes so far when you have a disorder that can often make it so you can't sit still. Hyperactivity doesn't always manifest physically, but it sure does a lot of the times!
I'm not sure why the word fidgeting is defined - and I googled this to make sure - by nervousness or impatience. There are four billion reasons why someone might fidget with things that have nothing to do with being nervous, anxious, or impatient. In fact, most fidgeting I've ever done is because: bored, something is fun to fidget with, am physically uncomfortable perhaps due to clothes or seating or standing, Just Cause, too much energy in my body, and mindless fidgeting I'm barely aware of.
4. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 From the months of October to April, I will be keeping my hands in my pockets or sleeves, or will be holding my own hands to warm them. If the temperature is below 70, my hands get cold. Also, when I have clothes with pockets, catch me putting my hands there, because it's a good place for them to be, either in, or hanging. I thought you said you don't want me to fidget? Okay, so do you want me to fidget with my hands, or keep them nice and still with my thumbs hanging from my pockets. "You may appear cold" btch I fckin hope so. I am. Please be fckin for real :)
4:19 IF IT'S COLD ENOUGH OUTSIDE THAT WE ARE BUNDLED UP NO ONE IS GOING TO ASSUME IM BEING CLOSED OFF, THEY ARE GOING TO KNOW MY HANDS ARE COLD AND ARE THUSLY IN MY POCKETS BECAUSE THEY HAVE AN IQ ABOVE THE CURRENT TEMPERATURE !!!!!!! SLAMS HEAD AGAINST TABLE
5. Don't forget about Fawn. Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn.
6. There is no sixth one! Sincerely, BRUH
All these are signs of social anxiety.
What I usually do to maintain eye contact with a person is to just study their eyes. I usually look at the person's eye colour, eye shape or eyelashes and it helps me maintain eye contact with that person. Eyes are really beautiful and eye contact helps you become confiident as well. Take care of yourself and I'm proud of you.✨️💗
Thank you very much 😊