ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ค. 2021
- Former FBI agent and body language expert Joe Navarro is back to explain why we feel they way we do about certain types of body language. Why do we shake hands, and why does a bad handshake turn us off so much? Why do we feel uncomfortable being stared at? Is there a reason why people "manspread"?
Check out Joe's book "Be Exceptional"
www.amazon.com/Be-Exceptional...
www.jnforensics.com/
Books By Joe Navarro: www.jnforensics.com/books
Joe Navarro Body Language Academy: jnbodylanguageacademy.com
Still haven’t subscribed to WIRED on TH-cam? ►► wrd.cm/15fP7B7
Listen to the Get WIRED podcast ►► link.chtbl.com/wired-ytc-desc
Want more WIRED? Get the magazine ►► subscribe.wired.com/subscribe...
Follow WIRED:
Instagram ►► / wired
Twitter ►► / wired
Facebook ►► / wired
Get more incredible stories on science and tech with our daily newsletter: wrd.cm/DailyYT
Also, check out the free WIRED channel on Roku, Apple TV, Amazon Fire TV, and Android TV.
ABOUT WIRED
WIRED is where tomorrow is realized. Through thought-provoking stories and videos, WIRED explores the future of business, innovation, and culture.
![CAMPปลิ้น | EP.79[1/2] แก๊งไทบ้านพาบุกเมืองบั้งไฟโก้ ยโสธรรรร!!!](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Ldr3_fvTEXk/mqdefault.jpg)
Pacing while on a stressful phone call is a must.
I tend to freeze up during stressful phonecalls, pull my knees to my chest and get compact. Interesting to see the differences.
I pace anyways.
@@kristinamitchell716 same.
I find myself pacing during any phone call longer than a minute. Whether it’s with a friend and is casual or it’s more for business.
People pacing behind me during their phone calls is stressful for me.
"The human brain is the most complex thing in all of the cosmos"
- The human brain
Obama givin obama a medal.
Hah!
A bit biased take tbh
Based
@@cthulu423 I was about to comment same thing
One thing I learned about "the handshake". Sometimes, maybe one in twenty, you get a bad 'grab'...that is, they grab about three of your fingers and you got nothing. Whenever that happens I just let go and say "let's try that one again" and always had a good response with that! Breaks the ice in a good way!
this is my strategy too! i think it applies further than just handshakes too, if you can play off an awkward situation it often reads as charming and in control
Yeah I really hate that one. I'm thinking, "shall I courtesy?" "Are you going to kiss my hand?"
I like your approach!
A bad handshake is hard to forget but I wouldn't judge someone by that alone. Instead I would focus more on any positive attributes that may beneficial.
I ran into a old friend and went to shake his hand and he gave me a absolutely gross limp handshake, I said to him "that's not a proper handshake." and then I squeezed his hand rather firmly, he then let out this horrific scream and the yelled "I've got cancer in my hand!"
Man I felt absolutely awful inside.
Sadly he passed away shortly after that. 😧
Thank you
-- broke fingers
the conversation my dad shared with me was you always look them in the eye when you shake their hand. shows a sign of respect of greeting. I could be wrong but I can't find it ok when they just shake your hand with their head down..
hope you all are having a great summer.
I love that he talked about the differences between cultures. Having that broader perspective is so important
If you go to África you should know, that for them is normal to stand very close,
In lines or everywhere.
@@luismartins6239 India as well. Closer closer closer. I just want to knock the stack of people over and say back off!!
its also racist.
@@luismartins6239 and a on my ooooo
O
If you're talking with a close talker, try taking a small step back and see how far you can get them to move.
😂
Lmao
@@Menderino what??!
Or just lick their nose...
@@Menderino huh
I LOVE the part about the calf muscle being the second heart. I used to tap my heels on the floor rapidly as a kid in school. People thought I was nervous. Really I was trying to stay alert in class and felt like falling asleep. LOL. Such serious misinterpretation!
@John Smith For sure.
I had a friend who would shake his feet back and forth when propped watching tube in the house TV room so that no matter what, it was there jiggling in your periphery. When he said he "just couldn't help it" he was banished to watch his little black and white in his own room.
And another housemate, who couldn't stop bouncing the ham-hock leg of his 400 lb body, shaking the whole floor noisily. We just threw things at him EVERY time he'd start (about every ten minutes).
So irritating.
,
I bounce my legs up and down if I have to sit or I stand up, I cannot stay still without getting drowsy unless I'm hyper focused on something
I knew about the calf muscles as they tell British soldiers who are trooping the colour to clench and unclench the calves to stop passing out.
I agree
I like the way he talks, very clear, nice neat talking.
And insincere, since its all a tought skill. I preffer an honest flaw to a flawless performance. Be a freaking person, ill deal with the rest.
It's the limp handshake that gets me. No pressure at all. It's just this meat thing you shake. No life in it. I'm always polite, but it makes my skin crawl.
Firm but not too firm. That limp handshake makes me feel the same.
I hadn't realised but when he said you remember I instantly recalled the two guys I know who are lettuce leaf hand shakers.
@@garyfox8701 Masons
Yeah I knew a guy who had a dead fish, sweaty palm handshake. Absolutely disgusting!!
I've done limp or loose handshakes unknowingly because I was either lazy or I didn't like the person and really didn't want to shake their hand. But honestly hand shaking is weird, so if you are going to force your hand shaking behavior on me you don't get to dictate what kind you get in return.
"squeeze at the same level"
Teachers just casually crushing every bone in your hand...
some people I know "assert their dominance" by squeezing the living life out of my hand when I try shaking hands with them, now I never agree to shake hands with people I barely know.
@@jielynsabarez2693 isn't that a good thing since their hands could be dirty?
Teachers? How bout old whit men
I give firm hand shakes but not crushing during parent teacher conference. Because a handshake shows a lot of who you are. Many people think teachers have no idea of hard labor. The males adults will change their opinion of me instantly when they feel a firm handshake with calluses.
It's worse when 1 or more of your fingers already hurts.
So what I’m hearing is to do a gruesome calve workout before taking an exam. Got it 👍🏻
This was really informative. I’ve always held a doubt that Body Language experts were dealing in pseudoscience but these examples were all backed up by science or studies. Thank you!!
The rabbi at the synagogue I went to as a kid shook every kid's hand violently, in a way that shook the entire upper half of our body. It always made us laugh and that was his intention. He was great.
I hated it when adults were rough on me the way you explained it. Holding my shoulder and shaking, causing me to lose balance, pushing and pulling around. These people were usually family friends or distant family. I think it's really rude to kids when adults don't respect their personal space. I do realize that's not exactly what you were saying. Consider this a rant in parallel :)
@@sanbilge I'm sorry you went through that. I guess it depends on the culture you're accustomed to.
I remember my grandpa used to do that too, it always makes us giggle. Happy memories.
I think we had the same Rabbi!
@@musicalman1995 Brooklyn?
I'm more concerned why Robert gates secretary of defence is wearing half a suit.
Yeah what was that?
@Alan Hughes what do you Mean?
Looks like he was in the process of taking it off
@@criminalsaint9611 🤣
Does he think he’s Harvey Dent?
The whole pacing combination of mechanisms and effects is so fascinating.
I had a housemate that couldn't stop shaking his feet left and right while they were propped up watching tube in the house T.V. room. It nearly drove me crazy having him forever twitching in my periphery.
I had another who couldn't stop bouncing his leg up and down when sitting, but he weighed nearly four-hundred pounds and it shook the whole floor. Arhggg!
Great video.
Ive paced for years, I did not know that it helps you think. Awesome!
"It"s not about perfection, it's about improving whatever we have". This quote hit me different as it is applicable to a lot of things in life.
Perfection is never achievable and can be harmful to aim for. But aiming for our best is noble and important. When we give up trying to be perfect, we can be great instead.
@@sablethompson4729 well said!
@@sablethompson4729 If you don't mind, I'm going to quote that when I can in conversations!
Amen.. I freaking loved that quote!! Seriously 👍
Check out Chuck Missler extraterrestrial message on youtube
This man really needs a TH-cam channel for himself.
He has a facebook page
@Yash Paul Sharma ok so?
He wrote a couple books, you should check them out
@@ChiyokoMcNair Joe Navarro
1000%
His speach was to the point, to conclude one should be just confident and respectfull. That lines up all.
Thank you so much for the in-depth and introspective presentation of this video!
I like how he does not write Off potentialy annoying behavior like pacing as something to be corrected. It is very helpfull and probably the most calming thing next to going on an actual walk. Personally get very irritated when people tell me to stop.
I get why people ask you to stop though because even if it soothes you personally, it causes stress/anxiety on the people around you
but it makes the whole room nervous
That's nice, but your pacing is fueling my anxiety.
To all the people saying "but it makes me anxious" - it's not the pacer's responsibility to manage your anxiety. Many people who are ND (autistic, ADHD, Tourettes etc) pace as one of their stims and those stims are vital to enable them to function effectively. Not being able to do so makes US anxious... so you take care of YOUR anxiety, and we'll take care of ours, yeah?
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover yeah for sure ill take care of my anxiety by 'taking care' of whoever is pacing ;)
A lot of lads try to do little tricks they learn to try to show “dominance”, not realizing their display of needing to resort to tricks really communicates that they’re of weak spirit.
@@JEA- It's so easy to tell as well lmao
Sure, women dont do these things at all. The also “menspread”. And I “menspread” bc I have balls not bc I want dominance. Its impolite to spread too much, but its like you don’t know male anatomy. It really is a feminist concept bc of how stupid it is.
The real tricks of “dominance “ are also friendly competition and communication among friends. Your life must be sad
Same goes with money. The rich in my area tend to hide the fact that they're rich, whether for safety reasons or other reasons. The only ones really flaunting are those financially insecure or unstable. They wanna show off how much money they have and try to give themselves the image that they have more than they have
@@shadowmoon1657 kind of triggered
Love me a solid handshake. The start to a confident conversation and lil optimistic too
This was truly helpful for me, would love to see more episodes
*Introduction* - @0:00
*1)* Staring - @0:23
*2)* Pacing - @1:23
*3)* The Bad Handshake - @2:40
*4)* The Close Talker - @4:08
*5)* Touch Phobia - @5:23
*6)* Manspreading - @6:04
*7)* Verbal Tics - @6:38
*8)* Eye Rolling - @8:09
*9)* Tapping - @8:28
*Conclusion* - @9:17
I am a chronic tapper. I agree, it calms me down and helps me fill out time. I have an overactive mind. I personally feel uncomfortble around close talkers and touchy feely persons. I use the techniques mentioned to cope with them. I admit manspreading is rude in public places but it's naturally ingrained in guys. We naturally do it because it gets quite hot, sweaty and sticky between our legs when we keep them closed especially while wearing both underwear and trousers. The point is we need to be respectful of each other pet peeves and well as learn to cope with our own peeves.
Appreciate the time stamps 💯❤🙏
Thanks for the timestamp!
I hoped he would have cited "smiling ," or frowning though its a candid tell. How long can humans go completely boring foregoing entertaining self or others in any social setting or gathering?
Many thanks
As someone who doesn't understand body language, this was fantastic
The four guys can teach you a lot about body language. In an interesting way.
th-cam.com/users/TheBehaviorPanel
But remember that body language is not like the spoken language, and 1 "sign" in itself does not necessarily mean anything. You have to see it in context.
This guy has been observing body language since he was Young. His hobby
Bunch of stupid things as well.
@@shadowmoon1657 what do you mean?
His books also tells a looot that other body language books don't, worth the buy i swear. Literally changed my entire prespective on the tells
There've been quite a few occasions in my life where I was glad that my male relatives took the time to critique my handshake during my childhood. It's insane how much a difference it can make to your job when your handshake impresses the boss, for example
I'm a California native, and the staring thing is so much different here. I would say you're only allowed to stare for half a second before it gets weird. It has to do with the pace of the culture here. Everything is so fast.
Here in sac we stare like crazy because most of us know each other
I can’t stand being touched or people standing too close to me. Both instantly make me want to leave the conversation.
Fr some people don't even get that I want space like please not trying to seem like that one American to hate America the the core but they don't understand only my friends would most of them wouldn't listen like 😐 that's just sad 😕
@@ayikan_nakiya wait since when did this have anything to do with America 😀
Now I know the science behind Friedrich Nietzsche’s quote, “All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking”.
Charles Dickens would walk London streets endlessly--sometimes 20 miles. I myself do a vigorous 40 minute hike daily
Nietzsche made long walks around sils maria.
I dunno man can’t walk in the shower…
@@Smllc22318 but you are standing thus calf muscles will be in use
I can believe that. When I walk in the woods or wherever, I come up with some of the neatest stuff
I recently discovered I have a limp handshake because I was told. I never thought this was the case and was always disappointed with other people giving me a limp handshake. So the issue here is judging people when really they might not be aware themselves. Judging people is a big issue in society.
Then you have the stupid level of people who decide it's meaningful. Like this really tells them some clever insight into your 'character' or how you'd handle yourself in business. I'm for ending the 'handshake' due to morons who've abused it.
I very much appreciate the info on the second heart in the calves. Just a quick major blessing to me because I been losing touch with that part and now blood is just flowing smoothly recognising why I feel so exhausted in my legs.
I like this guy. His explanations were short yet informative
I guess that's a good skill to have if u have superiors
I’ve read all his books, read first one probably 9-10,years ago. Been obsessed with him and body language ever since. Highly recommend
@@Steve_Hayden I’ve been in business and sales all my professional career. Full disclosure I have always been incredibly fascinated by emotional/social intelligence and body language, but I love his books (still do and I’m an avid reader). My entire career has been based on meetings, so I’m always intrigued when I look around and “try” to read the room. I think it’s helped/helps me be able to somewhat read better, as well as help adjust myself if I sense something I’m doing is upsetting.
Be sure to thank the video editor as well
@@Huh1319 Hello, I would like to read that book. Can you tell how it calls. Thanks.
I don’t mind close family touching me, just not people I’m not close to.
Touch me senpai!
r/cursedcomments
Kinda sus my guy
I feel u bro .. uncle?
alright Alabama calm down
I cannot even tell you how rude I find an overly firm handshake is .
Me too
very interesting information! Thank you!
Talks about how bad the wet handshake is
Me who has hyperhidrosis: RIP
I interpreted that as in 'wet' paper towel strength levels rather than actual moisture lol
People with weird peely dry hand are just as bad
Just dry your hand with handkerchief or a tissue before a handshake.
Same, that used to be a big issue for me, especially in high school TT Have you tried a iontophoresis machine? it fixed the issue in my case.
@@deathstalkr_
Even then the skin is still quite moist. Not as bad as soaking wet, but not pleasant either, for either party.
I was hoping that he’d explained hand movement when talking.
You mean hand gestures?
Tom Scott made a video about it just search hand gestures Tom scott
@@Cube_Box Rachel Greene made one too. Just search F • R • I • E • N • D • S
(She had less-weird hair.)
Gesticulation, I think, has a lot more to do with the process of articulating thoughts than with the audience's perceptions
Lol
See Scotty Killer on YT, his hands move faster than he speaks
That is very informative thank you so much for sharing
I'm a creative. I am a public speaker. And I am a pacer. lol I always thought this meant, that I would try to run away, but Joe Navarro's explanation taught me better. Thank you!
Shaking hands isn’t really done in some cultures. In Japan for example.
Yeah in Japan they do sepuku.
@@ix7275 yep, the seppuku where they just stab themselves when meeting someone because interaction is just too much to bare
@@hansenyan6217 😭
In India 🙏
@@hansenyan6217 I thought that was Sudoku
More than close talkers, I HATE people who think you are touchscreen. I'm listening to you, you don't have to poke me
Really what are your nose doing in my mouth ,stay away buddy 😁
Lol. I love that comment
Ohhhhhh I hate it...
Juliana.... they are taking Facebook into the real world...perhaps?
@@macforme Does Facebook still have the poke button?
Pacing can also be of comfort. I'm autistic so I do have a lot of weird tendencies and quirks and people may find off putting or suspicious. What they don't know is that its my self's way of masking it helps me to level out everything else that is running through my mind.
Love to listen to Joe Navarro about our body language
Joe Navarro also has a book, "What Every Body is Saying". It's an interesting guide to how you can read people's body language, what it might say about how they're feeling, and how you can present yourself differently. It's quite good!
I have read that book like 5 times but I can't still read people. 😆
@@rayvincyful1 really?
@@Anonymous-jf2gy yes. I'm so bad at reading people. Lol.
It is really based on science?
@@rayvincyful1 They are commonly tatted up, and you CAN read that = very ugly narcissism.
I wanted to add something I have noticed when it comes to babies and rocking them. My brother decided to sing one song when it came to his son's nap and sleep time. I have noticed through the two years of singing that song has been a helpful tool to make my nephew aware that it is rest time. I still Rock him when I can and sing that song, he relaxes,lays his head on my chest and listens. At times he sings part of the song with me. Now, I change up the song a bit by adding his name to the song. Pick a song and sing that song when it is time for your baby to rest and or sleep. The song that was chosen for my nephew was twinkle twinkle little star. Thank you and God Bless
That is so precious.
Singing is a restorative process for old, young and anyone in between!
scents are also reinforcing of mental states
Is Poison by Alice Cooper ok?
That makes a lot of sense. Seriously
Thank you man for sharing this stuff
That was real interesting. Thank you
I didn't know that pacing helps circulate more blood to the brain, really informative thank you.
You may also stand on your head, which is soothing, without irritating others around you.
@@briseboy I've tried that before, but its really nauseating and yeah my fam just got used to me pacing around the room.
Really ?
It's called exercise try it
That pumping job of calf muscles is only important when standing. If you lay down, getting your heart in the same level as legs, it has no importance. So if this was a big benefit of pacing, you could just lay down instead. I think the rocking motion analogy makes much more sense in this case.
I thought it was interesting that he didn’t talk about culture and hand shaking, since in many cultures hand shaking is not the norm.
I dont shake hands, I don’t care. If the person insist I barely touch their hands. I don’t know what they’ve been doing with that hand before. I think its gross and I never learned to accept it. Also I find it such a stupid gesture.
Pretty sure most people in the world dont normally shake hands. Big cultural difference there.
Yes in hinduism it's namaste and in islam its usually verbal gesture
@@shadowmoon1657 Just don't pick your nose, you'll be ok.
He is LYING! That's why he didn't bring it up. This is why we teach our children NOT to trust strangers/touches/etc. He literally just taught people how TO get abducted fastest/be the easiest targets.
My pet peeve is when someone shakes my hand and squeezes too fast and hard before I can close my grip. I’ve learned to go in with a locked hand making it impossible to close before I lock in the grip.
The weapon thing sounds like a misunderstanding of certain tribes that shake with the left hand because they hold the shield in that hand and it’s letting your guard down and showing respect.
0:45 so many flashbacks of awkward staredowns I’ve had in Morocco that were unexplained to me until now
Glad I'm not the only one who noticed the staring competitions in foreign countries.
I like staring at people
Four seconds of being stared at by a stranger is too long for some of us.
@@janemary8339 I'm sorry, it just entertains me
@@PlaguePriest88 ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°
One thing he forgot about handshakes are the people who do it WAY too hard.
Pre-COVID, I was surprised how many doctors give a really weak handshake. It’s more of a finger shake. Then I developed wrist tendinitis and went to a rheumatologist. A standard “firm handshake” is agonizing to many people who can’t do anything about it. Let’s not even get into the people who grab and yank forward so that you’re pulled off balance. Those Presidents, I mean people, are jerks. That so-called wet handshake is a kind thing to do. Post-COVID, I wonder whether some of us will go back to shaking stranger’s hands at all.
Instantly lose respect for a guy if he tries to squeeze too hard, it’s the only thing that bothers me.
Here in Germany we had several lessons about how to behave in a (for example) Job-Interview. One of the things i learned there is that a really hard handshake is a good thing.
I really dont understand why... but i guess i have to adjust myself to the rules.
Personally i prefer the fist-bump because i always have wet hands. So a handshake is horrible enough for me!
@@mack626 I lose respect for a man with a weak handshake
@@Carlos1515 nothing worse than a limp handshake, I don’t know why people can’t just do a regular handshake… but if he tries to strangle my hand I just assume he’s insecure.
Bro if someone was staring at me, I will stare back and it’ll be like a duel until one of us either breaks contact or blinks, please tell me I’m not the only one who does this 😭
Dude you have to watch a clip where Sam Harris talks on an episode of Joe Rogan about a staring contest he had with a guy on a Subway.
I found the clip!
th-cam.com/video/WtnqfRDfYWU/w-d-xo.html
In Los Angeles where I live eye contact can lead to a fist fight. Trippin
I always hated any type of handshake and close talkers
Close talkers make me uncomfortable and touching kinda does but honestly I’d never call anyone out on it because it’s not that big of a deal personally
Fascinating I will never get irritated by my son's pacing again
How would pacing ever be a reason to be irritated?
@@nonnaurbisness3013 i dunno might be annoying if the kid walks loudly, for example stomps with every step
@@nonnaurbisness3013 it's anxiety-inducing for some.
Same, must be more patient with my partner!
That part was really interesting for me, ever since I was a kid and still today I would always do some sort of pacing activity, sometimes even for like an hour or two straight to just get lost in my thoughts.
I can't get lost in them like that when I'm sitting down but when I got diagnosed with ADHD and started taking amphetamine(which increases blood flow among other things) I found I was able to get lost in my thoughts that same way even while just sitting still.
very fun and educational video. thank you
Very interesting not only realizing my self but to learn about other people, and how to improve relationships or simply interacting with others on a positive note.
Almost every handshake, people never meet with the webs of our hands! I’ve constantly have had my FINGERS grabbed, and I always think like wow you made MY handshake look bad when in reality it’s like hey just get it deep don’t go for my fingers I’m not yer princess pal lmao
I hate that finger grab crap...
@@iguanac6466 yeah, why do guys do that!!! Hella weird. I thinking to try to make you feel or look weak , not sure 🤔
I say confidently "handshake redue! Finger grabber" it lets them know, i know what they did and ill call them on it in our dealings. Even if the fingergrab was my mistake it makes them question themselves.
I hate people touching me while engaging in a conversation with me. Especially if they are fake people that try to use touching as a way to get "closer" to you. Grrrrr 😤😒
Just Cut that fake hand off 😂
“Grr” 😭
Not only get closer to you but to exert their power over you.
What I hate the most is people who give "the condescending shoulder grab" to strangers. It's something they often do when a conversation is technically over, just before leaving, and I'm like: "Can't they just say 'bye' and leave without touching me?" 😒.
Yeah, but (as a guy) having an attractive woman you barely know begin touching you during conversation is pretty delicious.
Interesting. I’m particular about hand shaking, and you’re right I can remember one particular lump handshake. Depending on which culture I find myself in I’ll tend to mirror.
I have palmar hyperhydrosis so my hands are always wet and clammy. It’s always awkward and embarrassing when I shake someone’s hand. Very difficult to network and socialize in the business community.
Could listen to this guy for days.
Not every Man sits like a office boy cream puff with his legs crossed 😆😆
I really don't like anyone touching me or even holding hands with anyone other than my parents or grand parents.
Beautiful. another excellent, sensible video.
That not being aloud to look at each other thing is pretty scary. Shows how messed up we are.
Where this guy's tie hits his belt line is near perfection. That is exactly there you want the end of the tie to be. Everything in this man's life is about trying to be perfect.
This man even explains perfectly.
7:59
@@saulgoodmanKAZAKH Yeah, I wasn't sure what was going on there either...
Sounds absolutely miserable.
@@alyxfaust5663 Unless he finds it fun, like getting his stats up in a game lol
My pet peeve handshake is when the other person shakes your hand but is looking everywhere else but wont make eye contact - now that is body language.
Great info.
A weak handshake, where someone loosely grabs your fingers, changes my entire perception of a person permanently. Also, people who give weak hugs (obviously only people close enough to hug) tells me a lot about them (for me).
You read my mind!
I am that person 😂 I have really bad social anxiety so a firm handshake and eye contact is just a bit harder for me to do!
@@LjsBeats207I always avoid someone like you
@@DouradaBambina haha that’s fair
The weak hug, or shallow hug thing can be a bit deeper tho
Handshakes in professional settings are also complicated by gender. I'm a woman in a professional workplace, and I am very likely to reach out for a handshake upon introduction, as I think is typical for most male-presenting professionals. Some associates (male and female) just respond naturally, and we do the normal pressure, quick grasp, two or three, done. I like shaking hands, it feels like the original ice-breaker.
But I'd also say about half of the men look at my outstretched hand in confusion. And I've also noticed that some female professionals just don't do it at all, even while all the men around them are instinctively shaking hands as a greeting. I think this is still settling down in terms of gender norms in the business place.
That's interesting. I remember reading a very old etiquette book that said that ladies shaking hands was appropriate but if it was between a lady and a gentleman, the gentleman should never presume to offer his hand first but would take her hand when she offered it. That would be considered very sexist now but was part of the chivalrous culture of the time.
Agreed.
Probably because a lot men are terrified of touching female coworkers in any way. So their confusion is probably more of an internal risk assessment.
I think it's rooted in growing up as a male child. You hugged Dad until you reached a certain age and then switched to handshaking at some point. With Mom you always hugged.
I know this isn't a hard rule, as some boys grow up always hugging both parents, but I think this mindset is carried over to adulthood and causes momentary confusion among some men in their professional lives.
In my country most male coworkers are confused, or even laugh at me for giving them the hand (sometimes even ignoring me in terms of greeting at all, if there are males in a room). Being younger than them doesn't help much, too...
Thank you! Your videos are so good and well put together. They are very educational, increases self awareness and self improvement in our daily body language.
I get intrigued by how fascinated human beings are with explanations that go "psychological", even when the phenomena they are describing are clearly social.
7:50 "You keep looking down, or clearing your throat..." 7:57 "...you keep wearing half a jacket..."
"All I know is that i know nothing"
You are unique... in your own way.
One of the most shocking moments in my life was to adapt to the 1 second “rule” of staring at each other in US. I felt so uncomfortable about it that I thought people were scared of me or something. Now I get why.
, I have made it a point in Life, to consistently look people, in the eye.
Is this in general or also in conversation with someone?
@@gijsbertmarkus3754 Only when I'm walking and someone's coming towards me in the oppposite direction. I'm culturally used to stare (naturally) at that other person for at least two seconds and keep going on. In US it feels like people are avoiding to be in the visual range of others.
@@markgreiser464 so In other words, you don't care if you make some ppl inconfortable ?
Bc I can see why you always done it.
But emphasizing it after have watched the video, feels like you say you will keep doing regardless of impact.
This is not the great thing you seem to think it is.
@@greyscalesx , I study People. I do this because People are dangerous. Most dangerous People follow the same patterns. Most do not like to to return a gaze, if they are up to no good. I will live my life as I please. No apologies, if you do not like it. The technique has solved a lot of problems, before they started. People are predators, but I can deal with that. I do not Mask, I will not lockdown, I am not jabbed. I hope that helps.
Woah that’s so interesting! In the place where I grew up
We were never taught such things
As a manspreader, I don't do it out of a desire to display dominance, but because it's comfy 😂 my ideal body position would be on my back, spread-eagled on some ideally soft material at a perfect ambient temperature... but in the real world, stretching my legs out and putting my hands behind my head is the best I can do 😐
Al Bundy?
@@marktatum2592 who?
The husband/dad on "Married With Children" 90's comedy tv 📺 show
@@marktatum2592 ah no wonder I didn't recognize the name, I've never seen that show... but he sounds like my kinda guy 😁
I'm a spreader because it's what my legs do when I relax. But I definitely don't do it when it means invading the personal space of the person sitting next to me. Then I make the effort of keeping my legs closed.
I don't get purposeful spreaders. They are annoying as f*** and I usually just 'spread back' and take over by force. Until they get it.
5:32 Just a montage of HR nightmares.
most HR employees dont actually care about the people, just the company...
@@borednow They care about the paperwork.
Lmao
I want this guy to read me a bedtime story every night.
"Once upon a time, the end"
😅😅😅 excellent.
Touching ! I was a service tech working at hospitals & clinics, One day I had to speak with a security guard who approached me with a question, I touched his shoulder briefly and he wigged Out, He stepped back and stared at his shoulder as if I had wiped something on it .Making a scene. Funny part was I got to the OR checking in and the Gal at the window said..I saw how that guard acted towards you touching him..and we both laughed ! It was Great having a witness to such a weird event.
I wouldn't call it weird. Being touched suddenly can be pretty uncomfortable for some.
The verbal tics one amused me. I have Tourettes, and my face always twitches just before I speak (regardless of topic) - as if it's a surface manifestation of my brain's effort to put the words in order before I open my mouth. My ex was on the autism spectrum and always interpreted my tics as a sign of distress, so he'd always say, "What's wrong?" the second I opened my mouth. My response was always, "Nothing - except now I'm annoyed, because you interrupted me again." Poor guy. 😂
My sister was a "rocker". She used to rock back and forth on the couch. Eventually, the spring where she always sat poked through the back of the couch due to her constant rocking.
that’s crazy
that's crazy
that's crazy
that’s crazy
that's crazy
"We shake hands to show we have no arms."
- Tim "the Tool Man" Taylor
Great video.
I respect these guys ,say what you want they know what to look for ,and they also need to be paid a better salary ⚖️
If there’s no one around then duh, take up space, be comfortable. If it’s crowded, be courteous.
The thought of men being comfortable triggers me. Please be courteous next time you comment.
@@n2bfw884 wow youre so funny
@@OPC3301 You're welcome.
As a young adult with crippled social skills and ques, I feel like being social should be a class.
100% agree with you!
Your parent's sucked and you're full of excuses Go talk to people
I agree, somewhat. Not necessarily a class mandatory at school but something optional. I am autistic and a big part of the issues I have daily is that I don't pick up on body language, facial expressions and social cues, like at all. I don't really show much either and my voice is quite monotone. I wonder how an expert such as Mr FBI would assess my communication if he didn't know my situation prior.
Most colleges have speech classes. I had to take some in school lol.
How do you make close talkers move back? Especially after covid, I’ve felt more free to insist on my space, but it usually results in me retreating in small circles until I’m finally forced to ask them verbally to maintain distance. Any tips?
Ótimo video para inicio de estudo , no mais a leveza em explicar adoça nossos ouvidos.😊
Great video. Awesome Speaker. Wish there were more like this out there. Informative but not boring, very engaging.
Hand shaking is definitely directly related to weapons. When you shake hands you are mutually showing each other respect. Your first weapons are a fist so it's important to release the fist or display whatever you may have in your hand as a sign of good faith. You can't shake hands with a fist. So you either both bump fists, shake open hands or raise and present your hands. This is why the universal sign for surrender/nonviolence is both hands raised, open and exposed
Explains why we wave to friends as well.
Thank you so much.
It has always bothered me how there are people who judge your entire character based on something so trivial as a handshake. I've known phenomenal people whose hands I've never even touched; sometimes I simply do not want to exert so much energy in a passing moment that I'm going to forget in a few minutes.
Nobody my age has ever cared about something like that, and it's typically someone much older who throws a fit when they don't like your handshake. I think the world would be much better if people didn't feel forced to conform to societal standards.
I like handshakes, but I may start doing very limp ones for my own amusement.
@@LOCATIONREDACTEDgood one
Well conforming to social standards is a pretty broad statement. Social standards are you don’t spread your legs too far on the subway. Social standards are you don’t spit on people. You cover your mouth when you cough. Etc. so let’s keep social standards, but let’s change the standard regarding handshakes.
@@Someothername2134 - Agreed. Those are moral things that make you a decent person. Having a "bad" handshake doesn't speak on your character at all
Yep, our wonderful government. Full of self proclaimed professionals.
Fantastic. Especially covering how different cultures have different meanings for body language. Good to know that what might be perfectly acceptable in the USA might be an insult in another country.
Imagine being this guys son in-law 😂
Yeah I'd tell him Not every Man sits like a office boy cream puff with his legs crossed 😆😆
Fascinating to learn about people who fidget or bounce their legs or feet. I don't do either. I can sit quietly for some time before I feel compelled to move... BUT, I can't *concentrate* all that well unless my hands are busy. I used to pick at dry skin or hangnails or bite my nails. Now, if I'm sitting waiting or watching tv or listening to a podcast or something, I crochet. I've completely broken the pick or gnaw habit.
As a nurse and overall “people person”, I’ve often been concerned about the correct handshake pressure. I can’t stand a limp handshake, but I don’t enjoy feeling like you’re trying to brake my hand, either. Where’s the happy medium? I probably overthink it every time I shake someone’s hand. 😂
I'm a nurse too. I also know an embryo can't do anything...