5 Weird Sexual Habits of a narcissist
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 มิ.ย. 2024
- Break The Trauma Bond Course:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.co...
Chapters
00:00 introduction
00:55 1.Approach avoidance
03:01 2.Wanting sex after an intense fight
05:54 3. Controlling sexual positions
07:35 4. Excessive use of pornography
09:38 5. Lack of intimacy
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They are now using religion to deny someone sex! When they attend no church nor do they honor a God very unhonorable just new narc tactics!!!
You can feel by the kind of energy though. They are a narc. Scary
Thank you for your video
I had just given premature birth two days before and spent the previous night in the hospital because our newborn amost died from SIDs. I was awaken to my now Ex stark naked on my side of the bed, grabbing my head, trying to force me to give him oral which Id never done before. He had waited a whole two months after raping me and putting me in the hospital causing me to be bedidden, extremely high risk, and giving birth prematurely. May He rot in HELL!
Can someone be a cerebral and somatic narcissist at the same time?
After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!
I'm 37 and have been looking for ways to be successful, please how??
She's a licensed broker in the states 🇺🇸
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.
God is more than enough for us, and his mercy is new every morning
In the beginning of your relationship, everything feels so grand like your floating on cloud nine. The phone calls are frequent and consistent. The affection and passion is there. The warmth is there to the point you start to fill comfortable, vulnerable and transparent. Then in a blink of an eye your partner switches up on you and starts neglecting you of the basics things you need in a relationship. Your partner starts to do the opposite of what you saw and felt in the beginning. Everything starts to dimish on your partner's end....Affection, Conversation and Intimacy is withheld from you. Then your partner lashes out on you for bringing up your concerns in your relationship, and says you're the one with the problem. Then later on in the relationship you find out that your partner is entertaining other people while the whole time your self esteem becomes affected and you end up developing anxiety because you don't want to cause narcissistic injury. Protect your mind, body and soul. Love yourself❤
Yes to all you said. I once went two weeks without him speaking to me at all. I guess it was beneath him. 🙄 Always punishing me for some perceived slight. Gave me an ok birthday present (household item) but says “last year I didn’t think you deserved anything.” I couldn’t remember what I could have possibly done a whole year ago.
100%
That’s it… all that.
@@texasgma3578my ex did this as well him ghosting me for a week was my punishment until he did it a second time and I never reply or give him a reaction
All of that and they have the balls to say “you’ve changed”.
Sex with a narcissist is soulless ….😔
They barely even look at you
You do not understand yourself and your own emotions.
Wham bamb, thank you ma'am. He was fulfilled, I never was. I faked it and he never realised.
@@irenehamilton2981 I know … It’s soulbreaking …
No wonder I felt so dirty, so used! So glad it’s OVER!
Narcissists are such broken people who need years of therapy but refuse to get help.
They NEVER change therapy is a WASTE.
Yes, and they look at those they hurt as the problem!
@@gwenbiedler8181 they know they are the problem.
It's always sex with a narc, it's never making love..
Exactly!
I craved love from my ex 😢 17 years with demands
God does this hurt
Sex is irrelevant with the Narc, it is nothing more than a reward for your compliance or a way to bring you closer to them. Sex serves no reward to the Narc because it represents love or affection, which the Narc hates and doesn't want to give to you. What is the point of being with a Narcissist, other than wanting to be miserable for the rest of your life? The Narcissist is just following a script or a movie role like a actor, in everything that they say or do with anyone they are involved with....
@vanessalewis758 i really hoped you moved on to someone better, that can truly love you.....
Absolutely no emotion. Robotic sex. The lights are on but no one is at home.
Wow what you said- no one is at home. it’s so shocking.
@@miraclehands9040 I believe that. It’s like they are doing a menial task and daydreaming about being some where else.
They are just following a script, playing out an acting role in sex.
It’s all purely carnal.
And the lights were on, as was the TV he watched while doing so. Me and the History channel. Then when done, he would thank me as if I was a service.
1. After we got "married," he stopped holding hands, kissing, hugging, and talking.
2. He does not like "it" with another human. Only he can "satisfy himself" via porn.
3. He NEVER initiated; constantly rejected me.
4. When he experiences a "malfunction," he blames me.
5. He expects me to do what a porn actress does, but I have not viewed porn. Never will.
6. He reserves "it" for anniversaries only, but five anniversaries have gone by with nothing (thankfully).
7. I feel strange "being with" such a sick-minded, disordered person.
8. Imagine how shocked I was when I found out he committed adultery! The cognitive dissonance attacked me on that one.
9. I had to add this to the list. I just remembered that, out of nowhere, he gave me an "electronic device" in the shape of a male's ***** for Christmas! I was mortified! I reacted in a way he didn't like. I threw it in the garbage. Now I realize he probably got it for himself.
Rejection it's a way of punishment they use to control us, take our self confidence and self steam away. Also to create codependency... It's all a mind game.... They know exactly what they are doing, it's not by coincidence...
My ex husband has been on trial for rape and he's into wearing a mask etc. That makes the other person not human and he's in control as evil punishment
Same 🤷
It's my story😢
You r smarter now. move on.
Omg 😲 the wanting sex straight after a fight ...they are sick.
Mine used to cause a fight so he could make up by having sex
Very sad, but true! May God help us find true love!
OMG. Yes. I noticed that. Thought that was soooooo weird. Wtf????
Unfortunately I've endured all of this treatment..im still married,but i am liberated..sex free!!!..thank God!!..i stand my ground..im also old now, wasted all my years with him ..and yes, he is worst than ever! but has no control of my body anymore...🙌 yay!
Why don't you divorce, aza?
And that's why staying alone is the best
They're hell on Earth.
I want out of this.
@terri7707 you have to go through it Terri to get out of it, one day you'll see them for who they are and you'll wonder why you ever stayed and put up with the BS
After I finally left, my life is so much happier! The difference is amazing! It took a while to adjust, but I was surrounded by people who loved me, and that really helped!
Yep
Don't give them credit .
They are creepy, act like they are famous, give me a break, all lies,while they are taking you to the cleaners
There’s always something negative with the Narcissist, they need control 😫🙄😩
And as any sane adult knows to deceive yourself into believing you actually have control is not only childish but as witchcraft it is demonic. I'm sure that no weapon formed against me shall prosper....I have friends in higher places. So y'all buzz off.
Narcissists are reincarnated Demons ....in Humans body....
Narcissists suffer from something called NPD, or aka "Narcissistic Personality Disorder " . It can be a hereditary disorder, or something that may develop in childhood from the loss of a parent or from being overly spoiled as a child. Narcissists are very paranoid, and think everyone thinks as they do. The worst thing is they see nothing wrong with themselves or either they are aware of what they do but don't care to do anything about it. Now, if you get fed up and leave them or divorce them, they will either try to get you to change your mind or they will act like they are the victim. A person i know that was in a narcisstic marriage that lasted over a decade, would frequently ask this question to me, " What did i do " ? After reading up on Narcissism, i told them you weren't the problem, they (the Narcissist)were the problem.
A Narcissists has to work their problems out on their own, you can't change them no matter what you do. Narcissism is hard to treat with Psycho therapy, and some Narcissists can even manipulate the Mental Health Therapist! So, your best option is to leave the Narcissist, and don't return to them ever...
It’s like kissing a dead fish!! Hugging him feels like I’m hugging a tree! & freakishly quiet! Not a peep! Not even breathing sound!
Hugging a tree is better even the tree move their leaves.
As sad & true as this Statement is, it's funny. I know exactly what you mean. 😂 hugging a tree! I stopped hugging. If I don't hug, I don't get a hug. 😂
So true! I used to think of the fish analogy myself. Yuck. And when I hugged him he would awkwardly pat me on the back and get away asap. When I would hear his key in the door my heart used to sink. I can't believe I stayed in it for so long.
Yes, “used” is exactly the right word.
They want sex when we want to sleep! I thank God for every day i am away from the devil itself!
I thank you also Danish for helping me heal ❤❤
Hmmm, I thought that was coincidence?? She was waking me at 430 when we had to wake at 5am just to f**k my brains out. I was hoping she would wait till 5am when I'm awake? NOPE. Never know what a narc's agenda is.....
Exactly!!!
Me too glad to be away from Narc abuse.
YES!! My ex-narc fiancé would almost always want sex when I was extremely tired or would wake me up in the middle of the night to have it. And he REALLY loved it after we just had a fight and/or I was sad or still angry at him. Just crazy ASF! Good riddance to bad rubbish!
Yep, sleep deprivation is a massive thing with them. They run high on chaotic energy & drain you of spirit. According to them, you dont need basic human functions such as sleep. I left after he sprung up out of bed (from his apparent deep sleep) in the middle of the night, spitefully cursing & saying how much he hates his life with me, (because I had dared go to bed before him). The switch was terrifying & he was looming over me from the doorway. I pretended to stay asleep. Started my plan to leave the next day.
I experienced marital rape several times. It destroys the self esteem. They see you as an object.
🤮😡🤬😔 May you heal and find peace.🙏❤
Also ‘bait n switch’ they act different pre commitment . Evil egocentric monsters.
He wanted sex almost every day (if I wanted or not)and it was very painful for me because he was agressive. He put me in humilated positions.
After I fled from him to another state I never wanted to deal with sex anymore. It feels like everything is broken from inside.
That’s marriage you shouldn’t of got married
@ifyagotajaburadumsheep1752 don't be so ridiculous- what a stupid thing to write.
@@ifyagotajaburadumsheep1752what the f(((
I understand the humiliating positions. You feel so out of control and completely vulnerable. It's horrible. I'm sorry that happened to you.
@@lindsayweller3627 Thank you for understanding. That means a lot to me.
In my case, my ex husband hated my beauty and the attention I get without doing norhing , just being myself. He saw himself as an ugly man and tried to dim my light, confidence, leaving me in the cold, in the dark, betrayed my trust , allowed third party to destroy. The pain reached a point that I decide to take care of my body, dancing, practising sports and began studying about toxic relationship and see I was dealing with a covert narcissistic person. I am trying to heal from traumas. He made difficult to separating because he did not want me to rebuild my love life. However I cut him off and the mask and lies appeared. Good vídeo. It was extremely painful to be with sex life, being a good person. God will bring a healthy love. Thanks for the message.
They are always in competition with you. They are flippen demented.
Mine started refusing long kisses, cuddles and basically all physical contact outside sex including hand holding and blamed me for wanting those things like there’s something wrong with me!
After 6 months this started to happen barely any hugs kisses I have to chase him for it after awhile I just cry
Most are porn addicts and when you have sex with them its like they are having sex with what they watch.
Wow this is totally my relationship with my boyfriend right now.. He totally changed from doing all that stuff to being cold and showing no affection Towards me now
Run, run now!!! 😲
Mine too.
Robotic and empty and shallow! With my x-narc of 4.5 months! So grateful and thankful we're over!🙏❤️🙏💜
Me too lol I feel like I escaped with my life hopefully my sanity. I did 3 months
I agree with you! But the worst thing that you can is have a child with such people. You are stuck with them for life. It like a life sentence that you can not get away from. Thank you so much for your Channel.
Not for life. That's not true. You may have to deal with them after you leave the SOB, but only until the child is 18, and you can put up and defend your boundaries when you don't live with them anymore.
Yup. Then they control, manipulate and abuse you and your children for 18 years. I'm living it..
I was pregnant three months after the wedding. He asked, who is the father? I couldn't be stuck with him, so I left after two years. His retaliation was taking me to court for custody of his son.
Now my children nd grandkids suffer. 🙏🏾
@@ladyvirtue650😢
Absolutely to the point. 40 years of marriage . When I reach a burn out from work, and needed time for myself to recover, I finally stopped the madness, of being a vessel for his needs. he threatened to find another woman. Lots of porn, and wanting me to perform these fantasies. He looked for other women, of course it was my fault , he had to, since I did not satisfy anymore. I left him. He has a new woman now, my life has improved so much. I was a toy.
My husband started cheating right after our honeymoon, he would ignore me and watch porn downstairs in the living room at night. As newlyweds and a young bride, I leaned secrets of him that went deep that I did not know. I tried to tell my kids wait....don't be in a hurry to marry....only 1 kid out of 3 took that advice. It is so important to spend a long ti.e getting to know your boyfriend. Be in no hurry to marry.
I know what you’re saying!
I was a recepticle, too, nothing more than a vessel. They are not human.
That other woman took over your role, good riddance.
I feel you: ❤ - been there, too.
Thank you, Danish. Yes, I felt so objectified.
It felt like my ex-N's unspoken motto was "slam, bam, get out of my way ma'am.
I have things to do and they don't include you."
At least mine made me orgasm because i told him I would never have sex with him again but he said he would never kiss me so I found a new boyfriend.
Wham, bam thank you ma'am. Except no thank you.... they just leave.
So true...they are heartless..
Soulless too
They a waste of time!!!!!
Thank you for addressing this topic. I have experienced these issues but was too ashamed to reach out for help because I thought there was something wrong with me.
It wasn't until many years later when I experienced healthy, intimate, emotional connection with a loving partner that healing happened. I am grateful my partner was patient with me and kind. Now I understand what real love is.❤❤😊
I never remarried and it's been over 20 years. I really don't know how it would be with someone who is unselfishly loving
I’m so glad you found true love ❤️
@hettykoster9447 thank you! I want to encourage people that it is possible to heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse.
@@marcimccann1109 Thank you for encouraging me and other people ! We need it 😊
@@marcimccann1109 Thank you for encouraging me and other people 😊 We need it …
Wow now I understand why he rejected me all the time and then flipped it back on me when I didn't come onto him because I didn't say the right words. The silent treatment and the lectures that would happen when I didn't do or say something right. He controlled it all and made me feel like it was all my fault and I couldn't do anything right. Sex was the #1 thing we fought about. Thank God I am out of there and I am safe.
Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator digitalinvestigate@gmail.com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...
@thompsonlauren1004
How much did the investigator charge you for investigative service?
Your experience is pretty identical to mine. Going from sex every day, suddenly it stopped completely. He said he was depressed. Nothing for 18 months but he was staying out. I suspected an affair but he said he was "working away". One early morning, he came home and started having sex with me in my sleep! I was furious and told him to stop. He told me to shut up and carried on without my
Consent. I ended up with a STI. He accused me of sleeping around! Eventually I got a phone call from his "girlfriend" who he had made pregnant. We had a 3 year old daughter but he manipulated throwing us out of the house I had helped buy. It took me years to move on emotionally. I was a robot who threw myself into bringing up our child as best I could. I waited until she turned 18 and have now met a wonderful Man who is the total opposit. He is worth waiting for.
@@IsaMccray-ye7owjust email the person for a quote.
Reported you for false information and scamming rubbish 🗑 and inappropriate content
This explains a lot about my former Husband he didn't make love he had sex. It was always the same, to the point of being robotic. Plus we only kissed a few times but he was such a rubbish kisser that we soon didn't bother. Looking back he had no desire to kiss.When he did kiss it was just bunched up lips and twisting movement on his part. I tried to get better kissing going but it was soon apparent it wasn't his 'thing'. Now I know why.
My EX was amazingly beautiful but hated kissing. I never knew why?? Now I know. She never looked into my eyes because the fear of intimacy scared her. Just like a w**re doesn't get too close to her clients, narcs do the same tactics to keeps their victims from getting too close. It's a manipulation tactic to protect themselves from feeling vulnerable. It's simple math.
Things may be fine early on, but suddenly avoidance is all you get once they have you locked in (married, bought a home, having a baby, etc). Hell on earth. 😢
You nailed! It's repulsive kissing husband. I have never had to pull away or explain how not to smush or gag with his tongue before. Sorry so graphic but it is very true. Even after asking to go slower or more sensual it was worse . It's porn sex. That's what I call it. Like here your money thanks and see ya..ewww
same , they are crap kissers !
Don't forget the stinking breath that a lot of them have, even though they brush their teeth regularly.
This is 100% my husband. Even holding me down and forcing my legs open. It's like you're talking about him in such great detail.
The knee press in the thigh, so you’ll gap your legs. Was my ex’s signature move
Have you heard of rape???
I always said I felt like a whore ..
So sad
*my husband…
…not an ex husband ?
Wow…..this is exactly what I’m dealing with 😮. I knew my spirit was telling me these things but I keep making excuses…trying to understand him. This is 💯 % confirmation. Thank you for sharing 😢 as I shed my last tear…I feel so empowered to do what I need to do FOR ME, MY MIND, BODY & SPIRIT ❤❤❤
I wish you strength❤. You got this sis!
Praying for you😊
I agree. Until I found out about narcisissim, I date several of them and even married one. They DO NOT LIKE TO KISS. Maybe that's considered too intimate for them.
My husband the narcissist when we got a divorce we had to see a psychiatrist 1 time first, in the court papers it said my husband was unable to BOND with anyone, including his wife and his own children. And that's how it was. But the court gave him the custody, which was punishment for me, but now at 35 yrs. Old my sons are scarred as adults and still talk about their trauma. I cried on.the phone with them because I am not over the trauma yet either and it's been 2 decades.
😢
How can we protect our children when courts give them the right to maintain contact.
Many Narcissist Judges ! I had a nasty judge many years ago. My nasty Ex exposed our son to over 3 different women in 3 different apartments with different set of rules. I was literally sick to my stomach NOT KNOWING these women my son was left ALONE with! My son would be crying so hard on the phone at 3 years old he could barely catch his breathe! Then my ex just hung the phone up. I ran to his apartment and pleaded for my ex to let me have him. I refuse to leave that porch. He called police on me. Today my pos ex been married 4 times with 8 kids from various women. He could not care less about our son who is 33 years old!! He used him to attract women and show him off! Like he was a great Dad! He manipulated him so bad and threatened to give his toys away if he did not go with him. He never paid a freaken dime in child support , child care and tuition . My father gave our son 20.00 when he was around 8 years old for doing random jobs. My boy paid for his father lunch because he cried poor mouth!! He even stoled all his savings bond my family purchased for my son. Pathetic pos people
@@user-ug4zx2kj6e It is very hard !
@amorl4520 so similar in all respects....we are survivors of the worst evil on the earth....we are survivors...and they still are the same
Ah yes. My ex-husband and his porn addiction and then, the cheating. I was too thin. I was too fat. I was too everything. He was never happy.
Yes,my ex husband has a porn addiction that now he's forcing our daughters to participate in because CPS aka CYFD here in Albuquerque NM is justifying everything he does instead of doing their job and prosecuting him for it.
@@MonicaGriego22 that's awful. I'm sorry.
That is awful, I'm sorry. Narcspouse told me about his cheating only after 7 years had passed in our marriage. He also blamed ME for his porn addiction (even though he had NO problem with how intimate I was during our dating stage, let me assure you). I got rid of all DVD porn I owned once our kiddo was born (because ya just don't need that stuff around a kid), and I stopped watching it online at all -- didn't know he wasn't doing the same.
@@MonicaGriego22I am sorry AND ENRAGED for you 😤🤬
@@b8akaratn Thank you 🙏😭👋 I had to rebuild my life. Thank God there's single men who love kids.
They like to hide behind sunglasses don’t want anyone see their soul
Yes, wore sunglasses inside or outside
Yes I always thought it was weird how he wore sunglasses in the supermarket. Nobody else did ..
Or lack thereof.
Always wore sunglasses.
What soul? 😉
Yes I saw that devil come out and believed in evil spirits ever since!
I have seen that myself with my former Husband. It was the main demon controlling him. It was extremely ugly and a sickly green colour. I saw it for about two seconds.
Speaking of evil spirit's. I was working things out with my ( ex wife ). Things were great...then along come Melissa. She was beautiful, smart, good job, sexy, and high class. Wouldn't you know that woman destroyed any friendship I had with my ex. To this day I swear Melissa was sent by the devil to annihilate any restitution with my ex wife. I was stupid and wish I would if been better. Now Melissa and I broke up and she hates me but I feel in my heart she was sent to destroy me. Now I'm recovering from that horrific break up. Lord help me.
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have eternal life. If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead thou shalt be saved. For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ. Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.
100% agree. I've seen literally DEMONS!
Same here actually. @@JBsFPV
I always thought my narc sister had a mental problem but when I heard that she slept with her therapists husband, I knew.
What you said the other day, Danish, did something wonderful for me. You talked about the empath having feelings of dying early.
I'm 72 and since I hit 70 I started thinking about giving away all my belongings because I wasn't going to live very long. Your message
shook me out of that brain damage! I'm extremely healthy, haven't been to a medical doctor since 1980, I have a great, happy marriage,
and I wasn't focusing on God's blessings of good health and a great life and I was planning my demise. What a waste of the past two
years. Thank you, Danish . . . . . . WOW . . . . . thank you.
Have I missed something here? You knew your sister had mental health issues, when you heard that she'd slept with her therapist husband??
I wait on that day also when one day in heaven finally my past pain will be no more. What my ex husband did to me and the kids cannot be fixed. It's done. And we are all scarred and crippled. My ex husband won on earth. But he can't control heaven. One day, I will be free and healed.
and what about the opposite?
When WE don’t want THEM?
All the predictable immature behaviors it’s repulsive throw their mirroring into the mix and it’s full out CRINGEY!
what video was this about the empath having feelings of dying early?
I have been feeling and thinking exactly the same - until that episode woke me up. I still don’t have a newfound vigor for life, but I’m no longer absently thinking how I just don’t care if I die - as long as I don’t suffer…. I just turned 60…
Completely valid. There is no connection on any level. The only way my marriage made sense was when I was miserable, he was happy. When I was happy, he was miserable. No win. Now, how to recognize if anyone ever shows me genuine affection?
1,000% on point. It’s scary how many people can relate to this sad unfortunate situation. I’m finally free from this bondage. He has another victim to toy with. Thank you all for sharing your experiences, I’m not alone.
Yes it is so many of us , I'm so scared now, never knew any of this stuff existed
Demeaning, cruel, controlling, rejecting, demanding, critical, just nasty.
My ex wanted sex after hours of abusing me. It turned him on; I wanted to pacify him. Sometimes he hurt me. Sadist.
Even when you're sick. Horrible human beings. I am so happy to be free.
I’m so sorry for all you went through & I am soo happy you are free!!
@@ABBYBENORMAL Thank you, I could write a book! Except ... so many other good people already have.
I left after 46 years. My family connected with him collapsed. My brothers rallied around me, supported me, and basically said, "about time." In the last five years I've regained my health, left my alcohol consumption (anesthesia) far behind, overcome devastating depression (all gone), renovated my house (learned a lot of new skills), and am now a doctoral candidate in American history. I basically exploded like one of those mattresses packed in a box ... These people squeeze you smaller and smaller and smaller, to make themselves bigger and more powerful. I would love to tell everyone in these relationships, and especially after they leave them, to kick it all to the curb and embrace the challenge of reinventing your life the way it was meant to be in the first place.
I wondered many times why my ex withdraw himself from me after sex. I was so confused. I thought first it was only some masculine behavior (men go back to their cave) until I find out that he is a porn addicted narc. He was uncomfortable to have sex with me. I was like a holy mother. In his mind I shouldn't be graving for sex at all. My duty was to serve him. Not want him. Porn was the only sex he knew. He an IT expert had been bachelor until 38 years of age. His only source for any sex had been online porn long before we met. So his mom in the kitchen and a porn star behind a screen were the only women roles he knew. This black and white thinking is typical to narcs in many issues of life in my opinion.
Textbook Madonna Whore complex. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
Definitely unwanted touching.
Not even sexually connected and consensual...it's scary.
Just grabbing at me!! Finally I yelled ‘stop treating me like a thing!’ He said ok, I’ll never touch you again and he didn’t! Now I’m a very happy widow!
@@kathybrem880 😱😱😱😓🤢🤢
Scary indeed.
Some will take out their controlling and abusive behavior in the bedroom and become bedroom bullies
Facts after your crying your eyes then wants to get freaky wth
"Some"? ALL!
@karenk2409
I was married to one who was more passive in the bedroom, but knew another who was very aggressive, no affection hardly, so yeah, "some" are this way, and some are not...
Marking it on a calendar and demanding it a certain number of times a week or on certain calendar weekdays, whether you had to pull a double shift at work or you just had surgery or injury. Coming absolutely unhinged if it did not follow a strict schedule so he could brag to his friends. It is all so disgusting!
I just had surgery on Friday he demanded it on Saturday. And everyday since but I've been telling him NO😅
“Confused” is the keyword after dealing with a narcissist🤯😣😖
Exactly
I was initially hurt when she left but the more I learn, the more I am grateful to know I wasn't crazy. I do still have my confidence but I am more cautious now.
You will get someone far better bro you deserve better
@@MrAbhix7 Thank you. Because I took time to properly go through the stages of grief and healing, I have found someone with a lot of promise...and she was right under my nose.
Knowing what I know now, I dated a covert narcissist about 25 yrs ago. About 7 months in, she started changing. One night she kept saying that I was gay and wanted me to have a gay sex with a coworker. It was the weirdest thing. I never showed any emotion towards her foolishness and broke up with her a week later. I'll never forget the time I caused her to have a narc injury and then seeing her narc rage. Straight up psycho
Oh my God 😢
This is his perfect description 💯
My God sounds just like my ex husband. No one has ever talked about the horrible sex issues with Narcissist. Thank you for sharing this video.
My husband DID treat me like a bunch of body parts and would become enraged because I wouldn’t do kinky stuff--should have gotten out long ago!
It took me a while to figure out his games because he was SO great in the beginning. Little by little he started exerting control, especially when it came to sex. He was miserable. He made me miserable. I pretty much gave up on sex after him...he took all the wind out of my sails.
Please alert guys narcissist breaks your hearts badly 💔 never cry and stay strong
Thank you. I've been spending my days crying and upset but for what?? For" garbage" that lies and creates drama?? Forget that. No thanks.
I feel seen with this video. The only thing the ex didn't do almost ever, was the "make-up $3×." Apparently, my reactions in fights were enough supply for him.
I agree with all of the things you mention and I have experienced it with narcissists.
They do fight with you and then want to have sex ( after hurting you) but they also do it the other way around. You have sex, all is good...and then they would start a fight right after having sex.
Somehow, fighting and sex became a thing for him.
I also recognize the " locking your body" he would grab my wrists and hold then together with one hand, so I couldn't move.
If I would try to break free, he wouldn't let me. And if I tried to touch him, he would take my hand and restrain me.
Sex with a narcissist is traumatizing.
I am so grateful for my relationship with God's and honoring my intuition. In the beginning I didn't then I began to observe and was led to learn about relationship flaws...Wow thank you Lord for saving me from so much pain.
Yeah. My wife of 25 yrs plus. . She was never happy with anything I did unless she got something for it. ! But I have endured a lot of trauma & betrayal from work & home life ! 🙏🏼 I will be better when I move on.
And you will! 🙌🏾
I agree I was with my ex husband narcissist for 18years and you described him to the t, it was an exact description
each and every word and statement of your videos is 100% correct
Very well explained! Thank you very much for this information! In my case, it was the one who didn’t like to kiss, hug, touch, avoiding intimacy, the red flags showed up since the very beginning, but he always knew how to manipulate me. Thank God, I am divorced today, I love my reality, but when I look back, it’s still very painful! I wish strength to all the victims of the narc abuse, to get out as fast as possible of this toxicity. You will see how beautiful life is, the best is yet to come! Send you love!❤️ 😇
I'm glad I'm in a wonderful relationship with a healthy man of four years now.Informative channel.
Lived witha narc for years. He was sex obsessed but not with me. I was just the back up plan. Later found out he treated other wives this way. He is now on marriage 4
I was the 3rd wife. And he was so proud of it until his mom died and then he told me that he didn't want to be married to me anymore. So I left him. I lost alot of property but slowly now I'm rebuilding my life again.
Well, of course!!!
This Is Horrid!😮😮😢
Yes. Most of this hearing for me has been new information. But I think there is another page. When they get middle aged, it is common to seek a sexual partner much younger. And so they can become sexual predators with minors.
Yup. My narc was 33 years older than me.. Crazy. And he cheated on me. Lol. But no one really knows what he is truely like, not even his family.
I just got out of a situationship with one a few months ago & one thing I disliked the most is the forced intercourse! They make it impossible to say no & we were living together so that made it even worse! He also would do the same position & did some weird practices every single time it was so controlling I couldn’t get out of his grip! It was the worst feeling ever & I’m glad it’s over! I had love for him because I wanted love in return but he never had any form of love for me it was all about him. I tried when I should’ve have & now I have to try & heal to even begin to try to be with someone else…
This is the most painfull thing to look back to. When I said no, he just answered: why not? The only thing you have to do is lay down and let me do my thing. I tried to avoid it, but that was not possible for a long time. After a period of time, I could manage to let him do his thing, and in the mean while, I left my body, I was no longer present in my body, not even in the room. It felt like I fall in a deep sleep, and woke up after everything was done. That was the only way for me to cope with it. Untill today, from the day I left him, I never had sex, that issue is closed for ever. I do not want to change that, I do not want to relive what I experienced during my marriage. That chapter is closed and stays closed. No memory of that is the best way to cope with it.
I totally agree now I am sleeping on the cough and the other month I am leaving ….
I left a month ago. Get ready for the fall out after you leave. Stay strong tjo. It's a roller coaster but you are better off and go NO CONTACT
@@kysakoenigs4969 i went no contact a few months ago!!!
Why are you waiting one more day?!
You hit the nail on the head with this one totally. I had never heard anyone explain the no sex part of the process and I have been going through that for months now. Turned down, turned down, rejected over and over again to the point where I have just stopped trying. In the beginning she initiated a lot of the time, now it is once in a blue moon. She will blame it on me and say I have a problem, which is definitely a narcissist trait!! When we actually do have adult time, as soon as we finish she runs to the bathroom and gets in the mirror and brushes her hair and looks at her face and sinks into that. I'm left there like what the hell??
American psycho much?
Thank you SO MUCH for posting this! I hated and avoided sex for 42 years with my husband because I Never naturally Orgasmed ONCE. It was always about his orgasm. And when he couldn’t orgasm, I experienced the trauma of being a failure and that I could not perform good enough.
I went through the same i was about to die due to severity of depression he divorced me all of sudden for no big reason
Probably because he knew he had used you up. They are like vampires.
Call that a win, because it's not easy to get rid of them if YOU initiate it, and there is most definitely an expiration date on these relationships. 😮
Consider yourself lucky to be free, and start reinventing yourself as if he never existed. He doesn't get to define you.
For me, the narc faked his way through the act and immediately started a fight afterwards, just as confusing and soul crushing as it sounds 😢
These people are 💀 💩 monster's. They will treat you bad and expect you too be okay with it . They will fight with you and talk too you later like nothing has happened but , you are still upset from the fight. No one can have a relationship with these people because, they do not love anyone. Only themselves👿
Just awesome video sir ...its so true
Very true. And will tell you they love you to your face but won't kiss you, or it'll just be a peck on the lips, never more, not even in the beginning.
"They make love to their false self." 7:06 -- wow, this. Because even though his demon eyes were looking in my eyes, i don't think he was ever seeing me -- he was seeing in me an idealized Self to obtain, filtered through me // This Entire video was spot on. We stopped kissing (for which I actually was grateful) shortly after marriage. I knew his utter lack of oral hygiene was a mix of neglect from his parents and his own self-hate. When I would try to tell him to get it healed and then fixed (he had constant infection and pain), OH the arguing that ensued...
My narc had rotten and missing teeth eww such a turn off I hated kissing him
@@roadtrip808 oh my gosh! One red flag i shoulda recognized was that query of, "Do I have to keep brushing my teeth?" during the DATING phase. ...don't gimmie that look, Y'all, i thought it must've been punk rock (for #reasons)!! The remaining yellow, rotted chicklets in his rotted gums certainly matched those things he called "toenails" poking outta his torn socks. At the end of the day, i'm sucker for consistency; the dentin matched the keratin... so sue me! Over (too much) time, i actually adopted his (non-)ways of (good'b)hygiene, thinking this would maybe draw us closer. But we stopped kissing like, after 1 or 2 years of marriage? TRUST ME, it was NOT. A. PROBLEM, from where i stood!! (fwiw, my corrective measures BACK to oral normalcy: buy a high quality set of dentist scrapers (incl. mirror) off of Amazon; use a Phillips Sonicare with regular baking soda atop your Crest whitening toothpolish; a generic brand (Walgreens) mouthwash touting tartar-losening skillz. (btw i have ZERO cavities, because orthodontics for 4 years makes me wanna go dental DIY ...Ucan2!! 😁😁😁😁)
Thank you for validating this.
I watched this to see if the biggest narcissist I had the displeasure of meeting did these .. and honestly he did every single one and more .. He would even justify why he needed to be with other people too and he would never kiss any of us ... He's currently in prison for his crimes until 2044 .. and I'm glad someone spoke up and got him out of everyone's lives . I wish I knew what a narcissist was before I met him because he ruined my life .. I'm remarried and still healing 8 years later
Hi, I believe that my husband is a narcissist. You describe him all so well. He doesn't want to look me in the eyes before during or after intimacy he doesn't like to kiss or cuddle. I tried to get him to watch videos on how to please a woman he always refused. We argue he calls me a narsis he says I'm selfish, self-centered, and calls me hurtful names. I want to leave him but he has a way of dealing me back in and I believe him. It's so draining I am lost
This is exactly what I experienced from my narc husband
I can relate with each point. My narcissistic husband once told me that headache can not hinder me from having sex with him and that the most important part that he needs is the lower part of my body and not the head😢
😂😂😂…no disrespect here, I was married to a narcissist too
😢
Pure evil! And isn't he suffering from migraine?
Having sex helps to aliviate headache (proven by studies). Based on the your limited description, your husband does qualify as a NPD, but, I appreciate you might be leaving plenty out.
@@Lexis001 You. are. an. asshole.
Cant imagine going threw this for years
Got out after 3 months
I am so blessed to have found your channel. I had been married 36 years to a narcissist. He did the most sickest habits during sex. I found my way out of the abuse. I am seriously seeking to heal from such abuse. I don't know how or where to start. I'm 69 years old and I really want someone in my life. But, I am afraid that if I am not healed, they might not understand, and I really don't want to go deeply explaining what has happened to me.
Thank you for the information that you generously give to your subscribers.
You are a God send!😢
About 20 years ago I lived across the stree from a crazy couple. She would go out in the driveway and beat the crap out if the house, the car......anything close to her.....with a golf club!!! It was the craziest thing to watch. Then, after it was over you could heat them in having mad sex!
Sadly, he shot her and when t the cops went in to investigate they found her breast implants across the room! It was such a mess.
It taught me a very good lesson..... don't play with CRAZY!!!!
Yep. That's exactly how I've been feeling with my narcissist husband. I'm an object.
31 years and after our son was born it was over, he did not even pretend to want me anymore. He did not touch me for 9 years and even took our son's room and my son had to sleep with me. Before that he barely touched me. I can't even begin to tell you what that does to a person. Feeling unattractive and worthless barely skims the surface. You keep it secret because you don't want to shame them, but it's always there and it's confusing and it hurts, especially if that is the first and only person you've been with. You have nothing to compare it to, just what you hear from other people, but the narc tries to convince you it's normal and that there are more important things in a relationship than sex. They make up lots of excuses, but most of all they blame you, it's always your fault, so not only are you rejected, but you are also blamed.
So many truths. It's so strange that even in the bedroom they are all the same. Things that I thought were specific to him - nope, just a part of his narcissism. Even to the part of him wanting me to initiate but when I did he would reject me. It got really depressing thinking the issue was always me, I burned away way too much of my life with him.
Truth about kiss….
It’s scary how accurate your description is. My soon to be X had every single one of the behaviors you describe. And also, she would then blame me when we would not have sex, even though she was the one who would always charge me away, shaking my head.
I have only been with a narc for 6 months and I lived everything you've described. So many horrible things happened in such a small amount of time with that person. I ran away from him but I was no longer the same.
Endured this for a long time and didn't have a name for it, I thought I was loosing my mind. Like how does a normal human being expect one to heal when they deny their wrong doings and make you feel like you are imagining things
Oh my goodness! You did it again! Hit the nail on the head!!!!!!
OMG! How true! Your post brought in so much clarity about the life lived!
*ALL*....that you are saying are all true, and its really hard getting rid of them too. They make you feel as if you can not live without them!!!!...they are unstabled in their minds, and extremely unpredictable!
Wow, first time I heard my experience described so well. I was with the man for 7 years, 40-years ago and I still have episodes of trauma.
Thank you.
All you have said is so accurate Danish. Thank you for the validation and making sense of these awful experiences ❤
My comments are always lengthy so i apologise.
A narc (my cousin+ex-housemate) has a habit to smear campaign everywhere possible so i dealt with her for nine years since i was 4. She left no place whether my school, friends, teachers, relatives, dance academy, park, neighbourhood and made everyone hate me. She again smeared my name to a relative and then i thought: "this time i should reply in their language." The other person believed her and tried to instill fear in me and hate, bully me covertly so i also gossiped to his sister. I did that to make him realise but instead i came to know that he became even more vindictive, sadistic and intends serious harm like SA. But how can he blame or intend to harm me or my family for all his issues when he never spent his childhood around me? He behaves as if every wrong thing ever happened to him was because of me and my family. I only met him twice or thrice and only in events. Never otherwise. Then how can he label me as the crazy one when he doesn't even know me or my family? My family have been through a lot because of that gossip girl cousin. He says NPD is genetic and watches Danish's content but he doesn't know that many survivors and Danish himself had survived a narc household. How delusional and ungrateful it is to write something like this on the coach's channel...
His sister was a kid and i was an adolescent so she forgot whatever i said. My gossip didn't affect his reputation unlike how he and that gossip girl affected my reputation. Everybody is oblivious and loves them bc they've always maintained a good reputation just by pretending and doing everything covertly. I can confront and take accountability also but they will never accept what they did, only deflect. If I had known my name was being smeared at that event before I arrived, I would have turned back halfway and not attended the event at all. I accept that what i did was wrong and cannot be justified. But nobody thinks of serious harm just over a gossip. Why he never tries to remember that he was the one to start conflict and participate in smear campaigns against me? He was the one to initiate hatred and only he's in it. I'm out. Even my cousin sis is untrustworthy but not as crazy as him. This still cannot justify what i did but why _only_ I'm the villain when i returned the same energy? So many people, would live in fear, if SA was the punishment for gossip because gossip is so common these days. And I never tried to equate petty things with SA, sadism. I never intended serious harm, sadism etc for any of them, even if they were the ones to start this conflict. I don't wish harm on anyone either.
My cousin is befooling him also. She talks and visits our family frequently and even asks for money from us but during events wherever he is present; she pretends she doesn't know us and gives us silent treatment. He thinks she stands with him but she is with nobody except herself.
This was an unnecessary conflict. I don't even hate anyone because i know what being hated feels like. I just want them to focus on their own life instead of me or my family. I've severed ties with all my relatives only because of this but still he is after me and my family (maybe bc my family is still in touch with others). How to convince my family to get away from our relatives? I can't tell my family because they won't understand me and if i tell... they'll confront. I don't want to escalate the situation....
He never tries to understand. Can he leave his people for anyone if he were at my place? Me or my family has nothing to do with him. *No one is after him or his people.* Even if my family stays in touch with other relatives.. they only talk about their own respective lives, Not him or his family.
I want to take my family somewhere far away. Then he would be happy too...
You are absolutely correct. I was married to a narc and I lost myself. We only did when he wanted to. There was no love making. I was just flipped on the side. He entered that's it. Until he wanted again maybe weeks or months after. If I tried kissing him. He boxed in his lips. I swore I had bad breath. But I was wasn't the problem. He was cheating. Eventually he filed for a divorce behind my back and lied.
Yes, all of this is my experience! Danish has been one of the most helpful voices during my dark days.
Amazing...... Great knowledge. 100% true. 10/10, or even more if possible.
This is all so true Danish.Waaah!!!!
Thank you, this is Teyani. Please make more videos these are interesting.