ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ส.ค. 2023
- In this video I talk about a troubled, difficult and co-dependent relationship I was in throughout most of my 20s and how breaking up changed things.
How to Stop Worrying About Pointless Stuff:
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My Experience with Prostitutes:
• My Experience with Pro...
Blessings in Disguise:
• Blessings in Disguise
Discipline is Far More Important Than Motivation:
• Discipline is Far More...
Our Inability to Handle Boredom is Killing Us:
• Our Inability to Handl...
Talking to Yourself is Very Useful:
• Talking To Yourself is...
Not Having a Phone is Amazing:
• Not Having a Phone is ...
Violence in Rap is Completely Out of Control:
• Violence in Rap is Com...
UK Hate Speech Laws are INSANE:
• UK Hate Speech Laws ar...
My Experience with Mephedrone:
• My Experience with Mep...
My Experience with Anxiety:
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My music:
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oloff.bandcamp.com/
/ oloffmusic
That was quite the long walk mate. But I love the scenery. Especially the amphitheater where lovers quarreled in front spectators. That’s very symbolic to your story imo.
I’m glad you guys took the step back from the relationship to give yourselves time to breakup from the substance.
And now after watching this video, I’m going to appreciate my wife of 30 years, even more. Ty
I was actually walking back and forth in the same spot to avoid the sun for a lot of it but later today I'm gonna go for a proper hike round there. Great place. Congrats on 30 years of marriage! Got any nippers?
@@BigDome1Three nippers for us. High school (i think this is referred to as college in the UK) sweethearts we were. So I can relate to the whole two hearts tangled up into one big mesh thing. I too have long forgotten what it is to be an individual. Luck definitely played it’s part for sure.
@@wilfred8724 what's it like having kids?
It was certainly hard. Especially when I had my first born @ 18. By the time I was 30, I had the 12 year old and a 7 year old. Then at 32, I had the third one. With hindsight, I would have waited to become much- more financially secured before having kids thats for sure. But I think it worked out for everyone after all. The first born is now 30 and in his second year of residency. Truly against the odds. 🙏
@@wilfred8724 that's so great. Was money the main issue? We're thinking of having them now and we worry about time/sleep/loss of dreams etc. I think money will be alright.
This is so relatable in every way. I’ve been in a serious relationship 7 years and nobody my age really gets it. I’m too tired to type everything out but my girlfriend is chronically ill so I struggle with some of the same issues you guys did as well as the feelings. Crazy to see someone actually talk about this. Love ur channel man
Sorry to hear that dude. If you ever want to talk privately feel free to send me an email oloffmusic@gmail.com
I went through something very smiliar and had to extricate myself 500 miles back to my 'home' and I've never been happier single for the time being since. Thanks for sharing.
Good for you! Glad to hear that.
@@BigDome1 Thanks for your video!
I hope this channel grows and that you continue to make more content and music. I can relate to the things you say. As a female I reacted extremely to things I perceived my ex husband did wrong or that he failed to do. It was the only relationship I had and I’ve never had any other relations eg one night stands or flings and now I am 32 years old and celibate. I enjoy my time alone and I have grown as a person and I accept responsibility for destroying the marriage with my paranoia and losing emotional control so easily as well as neediness. Now I can be calm if situations in life arise and i deal with stress much better. I don’t know if I’ll find someone else, I’m quite content with my life, although it can be lonely at times, but I wish I could go back in time and not react the way I did. I was very aggressive, very over the top and shouldn’t have behaved this way. Now I don’t get easily offended and I am better at handling stress and confrontation with other people as well as criticism. I didn’t need therapy or medication I just needed the alone time and isolation in order to deeply think and reflect and work on self awareness. I am not a victim at all. I take full responsibility for my immature, pathetic, overly emotional behaviour and I would not want to inflict that on someone else
Thanks for sharing this, I can relate to it a lot, although more from the other side. I think a lot of people have that same experience but never reflect or change, it takes a lot of character to do so. It's much easier to double down and continue insisting what you did was right, I know people in their 50s and 60s who are like this and have just refused to change. I think that kind of personal growth requires an abnormal level of presence of mind which in itself is a really amazing thing to have. It sounds like you've done the right thing by avoiding pointless/trivial relationships and personally I think that'll pay off massively if/when you meet someone else.
Is that Granada? I think I literally have walked that same path... But outside of that, I was in a really similar position for like four years, bar some (albeit very small) differences. We finally decided to break up after 4 years of ups and downs and you have no idea how much character development has happened to me in these past 6 months... Being in that same parent-like position, as you called it, had really tied my hands when it came to being different and experimenting with certain things, I had a standard to uphold, an example to, at least, pretend to be. I know not what the future holds, but at every turn things can be very different. It was cool hearing your ramblings.
No, it's a small town near Valencia. I've never been to Granada but I gather it's extremely hot this time of year.
Yeah man breaking up definitely gives you a lot of freedom. Not just in literal terms but also with your identity and how you see yourself. I'm really glad to hear you're taking advantage of that and also had to sense to get out of a difficult situation. A lot of people just go on forever like that.
king
😎 thank you brother
Mate, I love your videos, i watched most of them recently and all a very relatable and honest. I’m twice your age and have had a similar life, on many levels. Drugs, sex, pervery (perve powder aka speed) weed. I have to consider my own life and admit that a lot of of my problems have been caused by drugs. I wonder if you attribute any of your issues to your drug use. Stopping smoking dope lead to a big improvement in the quality of my life. Stopping chems has had a similar positive result. I don’t regret any of it, on the contrary I fucking loved it all. But if I could turn back the clock, I genuinely feel life would have bean easier, more productive, and I’d be a better human, if I didn’t do drugs
Thanks mate, I really appreciate the positive feedback.
And yeah for sure, I definitely think drug use has caused a huge amount of the problems in my life. It's a hard thing to fully understand though, because at times in my life drugs were so inexorably linked to my identity that trying to imagine my life without them is kind of like imagining being a different person. I also think they had a lot of positive effects as well, and I don't know if losing out on what I gained would be worth losing out on all the bad parts. If I had to hazard a guess, I think I would probably be a more well-balanced, financially well off but slightly more boring person. Certainly if I had a son though, I would much rather they didn't follow the same path I did. But then, I'd like to think that they would be much happier than me anyway and wouldn't feel the need to take drugs.
I also think that porn and internet use have been hugely harmful. If I knew back then what I know now I guess I would have been much fitter, happier and more productive (completely unintended Radiohead quote there.) But it's just hard to imagine, because then I wouldn't have been me. And when I think back to some of the miserable periods I went through in my life, I can't really remember what there was for me to do apart from take drugs, but perhaps that's a cop-out answer and I should have worked harder. What do you think?
@@BigDome1
So true, the MDMA experience brought me out of my shell. I realised that I coutalk shit to people in the same way when I wasn’t on one, which was massively positive. Also, for many years I felt almost part of a brotherhood of cainers. I had some amazing times, a lot of fun, the drugs took me to places and events that I would never have done in the straight world. I can’t comment on working harder, personally or from a job perspective ? I’ve always had a fairly demanding job that I succeeded in, I always worked hard and still do, I now have my own business. Whe we started, we used to shut up shop on a Friday and my partners and myself used to go out raving to squat parties in London. This concept about ‘working hard on yourself’ is something I can’t really relate to, I am what I am, but I accept that it is possible to do it, but can’t really think of how. Nowadays I try to keep fit, stay on the level. But it’s a thin line between staying straight and taking drugs. There are definitely pro’s and cons to both. But for general mental and physical well-being, staying straight is best. You are a far more sorted man at 31 than I was for me life began about 35, I got my shit together and got some confidence. I have to say that meeting women was probably one of the most excruciating experiences, but the desire for sex drove me on. Stay cool brother, you have good years ahead. All the comments attest to the fact your a good man and I applaud your honesty.
@@thewavesmith5754 I feel the exact same way about MDMA, and also about being part of a kind of brotherhood or something. I'm not sure I would give up that experience even if I wrecked my brain chemistry a bit.
And again thanks a lot, comments like this keep me inspired to keep making videos and keep trying to be honest. I really appreciate you watching and also the conversation and insight.