I wish you had more on this attachment style. You deserve more subscribers. I just got dumped in an email and then blocked from an avoidant, and I've been watching your videos all night long.
Honestly what healed me most was not just getting into relationships and dating, but fixing up the economic and professional damage that having attachment issues has caused me. Fighting to become whom I want to be, going no contact with my entire toxic family and taking risks for which I never received enough encouragement or support to take from anyone whom I didn't pay (therapists). As for therapists, learning stuff on my own has been amazing as they can tend to be fixers rather than helpers. Not enough research is done on the negative effects of long and frequent therapy because what financial interest is there...? Thank you for putting out your perspective so that we can learn more! 💪
This video is incredible. I journaled along with what you described and the amount of light bulb moments i had was insane!! I did a trigger audit and circled the patterns and realised everything I listed either had the word “ignored” or “not paying attention to me” 🤯 such a simple exercise and yet I feel like I hit the nail on the head when it comes to my AA. Realised my behaviour often manifests as avoidance - and then you spoke about protests (something I’ve never heard of) and that AA often give the silent treatment!! It’s crazy to think how my anxiety has made me act in this way and all this time I blamed my bf 😳 And then you said that this screams emotional immaturity. Wow. I really needed this. I’ve been feeling so helpess with this and cannot thank you enough for your advice and delivery on this topic. You don’t know how much you’ve helped me 🧡
Great work! I’m glad it was helpful. I hope the emotional immaturity part didn’t come across too harsh, I only wanted it to be emotionally constructive. Wishing you the best! :)
Ooh Charlie you read me like a book! I have been consuming avoidant attachment videos to get closure and to hope I can get another chance with my ex knowing the information I gained. But watching this made me look at things differently and actually this is the first video I’ve watched speaking on my anxious attachment. Thank you so much
My development is similar. Thought I'd be entirely anxious during a break up and needed some distance from my deep emotions and clarity about myself showing a lot of my avoidant behavior. Now I finally came to the conclusión that I am anxious-avoidant. And know I have lot more understanding and empathy for my avoidant Ex and also our dynamic is much more healthy and the triggering moments are becoming less and less and the reaction totally changed for the better. Thank you for your content that's unique in a way that you put light on every aspects of the dynamics, misunderstandings and the way out.🙏 Wish I found your channel earlier, would've saved me so much time.😁
Dear Charlie, thank you for sharing this! I finally can give a name what I’m living in right now and sharing your journey opened my eyes and helped me a lot. Maybe it doesn’t help to save my current relationship but definetly I can be ready for the next one and it just brings me sooo much relief ❤ thank you for that!
Excellent! Thank you so much. I have had a similar journey. I have been in the place where I realize now how my behaviors have hurt others. It is truly eye opening, challenging and empowering at the same time. I appreciate you saying that we need relationships to be apart of the healing process. It is hard for me to believe I am not broken beyond repair, that I’m better off not getting into another relationship. Even when I want to give up, something deep down keeps me hoping, and therefore, doing the work. Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to more videos, especially, ones with more tips regarding healing while in a relationship.
Thank you for sharing! It can feel intimidating at first but healing is totally worth it in the end. Relationships can be a great opportunity to grow if you’re with a supportive partner. I hope you’re able to find that one day. I’ll make more videos on how couples can heal together soon :)
Yep, I agree. I have fearful avoidant. I only saw my anxious attachment after I found out my DA husband was having a long term affair. Also DA are anxious. They leave to get rid of their anxious feelings. They also blame their partner for their triggers.
Hey Charlie may I just say the protest behaviors you listed such as silent treatment is not from anxious end it’s from the avoidant end… I hate the silent treatment I can’t do it. I prefer to force a conversation which I realize is my personal protest behaviors in attempt to regain connection or gain clarity but seemingly I cross boundaries and create more discomfort and disconnection
Great, great, great stuff. Way better and more constructive than all the DA stuff I've been watching lol. Waay more healthy to just try to understand oneself than to theorize what the other party may be thinking. They're not the problem!
Just WoW I dealt with this dance now for almost 7 years. You Charlie just blew my mind. Yes I push them into avoidance. My heart aches And prays I can keep him despite my protest behaviors.
Hey there, new follower going through intense all things. However I had to break away from the moment to compliment you on your Opeth album in the back. ♡ I had the chance to see them a year or two ago. And they're an all time treasure. Had to give credit where it is due. -I do not have the skills to give you proper credit for your comforting conversations. But you deserve it much.
Thank you very much! Opeth is one of my favorite bands, and Ghost Reveries is my favorite album by them. Haven’t seen them live yet but I will the first chance I can
Is it possible to have anxious attachment but only towards one person? I’ve always been fearful avoidant. I cut people off without explanation, quickly and don’t think anything about it. But with my spouse I have anxiously attached while he is avoidant. I really wish I could use the same avoidant tendencies I’ve always had towards him but I don’t, I can’t seem too. Feels like it would be so much easier when things get tough!
I wish you had more on this attachment style. You deserve more subscribers. I just got dumped in an email and then blocked from an avoidant, and I've been watching your videos all night long.
Ouch. Getting dumped on email sucks
Sending you lots of love and healing.
Honestly what healed me most was not just getting into relationships and dating, but fixing up the economic and professional damage that having attachment issues has caused me. Fighting to become whom I want to be, going no contact with my entire toxic family and taking risks for which I never received enough encouragement or support to take from anyone whom I didn't pay (therapists). As for therapists, learning stuff on my own has been amazing as they can tend to be fixers rather than helpers. Not enough research is done on the negative effects of long and frequent therapy because what financial interest is there...?
Thank you for putting out your perspective so that we can learn more! 💪
Relationships are our greatest opportunity to heal and grow.
This video is incredible. I journaled along with what you described and the amount of light bulb moments i had was insane!!
I did a trigger audit and circled the patterns and realised everything I listed either had the word “ignored” or “not paying attention to me” 🤯 such a simple exercise and yet I feel like I hit the nail on the head when it comes to my AA.
Realised my behaviour often manifests as avoidance - and then you spoke about protests (something I’ve never heard of) and that AA often give the silent treatment!! It’s crazy to think how my anxiety has made me act in this way and all this time I blamed my bf 😳 And then you said that this screams emotional immaturity. Wow. I really needed this.
I’ve been feeling so helpess with this and cannot thank you enough for your advice and delivery on this topic.
You don’t know how much you’ve helped me 🧡
Great work! I’m glad it was helpful. I hope the emotional immaturity part didn’t come across too harsh, I only wanted it to be emotionally constructive. Wishing you the best! :)
Hello would u mind sharing how to do a trigger audit I am trying to process my feelings
Ooh Charlie you read me like a book! I have been consuming avoidant attachment videos to get closure and to hope I can get another chance with my ex knowing the information I gained. But watching this made me look at things differently and actually this is the first video I’ve watched speaking on my anxious attachment. Thank you so much
My development is similar. Thought I'd be entirely anxious during a break up and needed some distance from my deep emotions and clarity about myself showing a lot of my avoidant behavior. Now I finally came to the conclusión that I am anxious-avoidant. And know I have lot more understanding and empathy for my avoidant Ex and also our dynamic is much more healthy and the triggering moments are becoming less and less and the reaction totally changed for the better.
Thank you for your content that's unique in a way that you put light on every aspects of the dynamics, misunderstandings and the way out.🙏 Wish I found your channel earlier, would've saved me so much time.😁
I literally just told myself as the video started i need to watch more videos concerning my own attachment issues and you mentioned it afterwards. 🤣🤣🤣
Dear Charlie, thank you for sharing this! I finally can give a name what I’m living in right now and sharing your journey opened my eyes and helped me a lot. Maybe it doesn’t help to save my current relationship but definetly I can be ready for the next one and it just brings me sooo much relief ❤ thank you for that!
Thank you Charlie for so eloquently explaining this behaviour. It has been very healing❤
Excellent! Thank you so much. I have had a similar journey. I have been in the place where I realize now how my behaviors have hurt others. It is truly eye opening, challenging and empowering at the same time. I appreciate you saying that we need relationships to be apart of the healing process. It is hard for me to believe I am not broken beyond repair, that I’m better off not getting into another relationship. Even when I want to give up, something deep down keeps me hoping, and therefore, doing the work.
Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to more videos, especially, ones with more tips regarding healing while in a relationship.
Thank you for sharing! It can feel intimidating at first but healing is totally worth it in the end. Relationships can be a great opportunity to grow if you’re with a supportive partner. I hope you’re able to find that one day. I’ll make more videos on how couples can heal together soon :)
Please do more videos on Anxious Attachment Style. I could resonate with everything you said in this video.
Yep, I agree. I have fearful avoidant. I only saw my anxious attachment after I found out my DA husband was having a long term affair. Also DA are anxious. They leave to get rid of their anxious feelings. They also blame their partner for their triggers.
This made me look at myself and free myself from shame and stop vilifying other people . Taking responsibility for my life and emotions
Hey Charlie may I just say the protest behaviors you listed such as silent treatment is not from anxious end it’s from the avoidant end… I hate the silent treatment I can’t do it. I prefer to force a conversation which I realize is my personal protest behaviors in attempt to regain connection or gain clarity but seemingly I cross boundaries and create more discomfort and disconnection
Great, great, great stuff. Way better and more constructive than all the DA stuff I've been watching lol. Waay more healthy to just try to understand oneself than to theorize what the other party may be thinking. They're not the problem!
Just WoW
I dealt with this dance now for almost 7 years. You Charlie just blew my mind. Yes
I push them into avoidance. My heart aches
And prays I can keep him despite my protest behaviors.
All I have to say is Thank you that helps a lot , you'r way of delivering the massage was perfect and on point 👌🏻
Thank you Charlie, the quality and the content are brilliant! I'm going through a break up right now, so it helps immensely.
Thank you! I wish you all the best during your breakup. I know it might not be easy right now, but things get better with time
Thank you Charlie you really guided me in a lost journey❤️
Man, this is amazing and extremely useful. Thank you!
Hey there, new follower going through intense all things.
However I had to break away from the moment to compliment you on your Opeth album in the back. ♡ I had the chance to see them a year or two ago. And they're an all time treasure. Had to give credit where it is due.
-I do not have the skills to give you proper credit for your comforting conversations. But you deserve it much.
Thank you very much! Opeth is one of my favorite bands, and Ghost Reveries is my favorite album by them. Haven’t seen them live yet but I will the first chance I can
Balls on.
Excellent video. Thank you
Awesome information! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! 💯😃👍🏻
Excellent !!!
Thank you for sharing.
Is it possible to have anxious attachment but only towards one person? I’ve always been fearful avoidant. I cut people off without explanation, quickly and don’t think anything about it. But with my spouse I have anxiously attached while he is avoidant. I really wish I could use the same avoidant tendencies I’ve always had towards him but I don’t, I can’t seem too. Feels like it would be so much easier when things get tough!
Here’s the truth! Until you’re okay with who you are alone you’ll never be able to be truly happy with another person.