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Astonishing video as always, at first i wasn't really into watching such relationship experts video, but it turned out to be a blessing in so many ways, 10 years ago i was with a narcissist and i broke things up 4 years ago, found someone who truly cared for me and i messed things up because i was trauma bonded. then i started watching a lot of youtube videos and some christian videos about relationships and marriages, i learned a lot, and something actually happened as well, i was able to get my ex back with the help of watching matthew hussey videos and reaching out to a spiritual counselor

I posted an instagram story and she viewed it on 3 different accounts of hers. The day after she posted a story on her instagram account but i didnt view it. Did i make the right decision?

my fearful avoidant left me. But she in the beginning said it was only going to be a little break. We continued talking for a week. In the end she came to a conclusion and said I should move on. She said that there might be chance in future that she comes back to me. She really appreciated me and even in the end said that she loved me and really cares for me. I said that I will delete her from socials but she said please can I follow you on Instagram. I said yes. then she said that she would like me to not delete our pictures from cameraroll. She said that she will contact me about her progress. Now a week after breakup, she stalks my tiktok occasionally and even likes my Instagram story. I just unfollowed her and removed her from followers. Was is ok to delete her from Instagram, and is it possible that she comes back in future and when. Should I stay in no contact?

Hey I love your videos. A friend of mine may have the avoidant attachment style. He told me he can’t get feelings generally for people and never had some. All the time when there is something going on, he looses interest and finds his self not investing in the realtionship. Is this also also a sign for avoidant attachment style? Or is there another explanation?

My DA sent me something on IG. I responded & he didn’t even look at the message. I sent him something about his business on IG & he hasn’t looked at the message. But he constantly watches my story. I don’t get it

Who wants to play these exhausting games. F off man.

There is nothing to fix without a proper bond.

No thanks. The amount of damage by breaking up is WAY LESS.

I ended the relationship because after a year they didnt want to commit. we both cried and she told me that she wanted to stay in contact. I never reached out. She did in the beginning then after she asked me how I am and I answered her honestly, she never answered, sent me a pic and went ghost. So Im confused but I let her do whatever. Im not gonna reach out. but still I wonder if she will.

Glad I found this - onto week 6 of no contact and it feels both better and worse with every day

I have dated 2 avoidants Recently i get to know the second one was also avoidant and currently we are in no contact for two weeks between the first avoidant texted me two days back after one year of no contact but i have already moved on from that🤣🤣 I don't know why Im always in to avoidants😢

What if I dumped him? It’s been 10 days and I miss him. I dumped him after 6 months because he went silent on me for 2 weeks.

I’m tired of feeling hurt seeing him with other women.

He went from telling me he loved me every day, holding my hand everywhere we went, turning up at my dads without me just to have a chat. Even waiting 6 months to introduce his daughter and saying how much of a big step it was and how happy he was. Then all of a sudden started making strange comments about relationships not working because people have different friendship groups and not being as available. Then I got the we aren't compatible speech and a load of ridiculous reasons why I wasn't compatible with him!

From my experience with avoidant men - They will at start be in what you described here as avoidant behaviours, and as time progresses, usually 3-4 months in - they will lean more and more to the "just not intrested in you anymore" list you mention - That is why they are so confusing and that is why we are so hurt on the receiving end. I lean secure and I watch attachment content for years, yet still, experiencing this movement towards "I just care less and less about you" just as things begin to be real and close, it is extremely painful. And if the partner has no knowledge on this issue it is 10 times worse, and crazy-making. At the end avoidants will GET RID OF YOU like the person who could not give a f**k about you, that's terrible to go through it and this is what everybody talks about when saying they should not enter rs in the first place, the movement towards I LOST FEELINGS AND DO NOT CARE - IS the avoidant's pattern.

Dont get involved with avoidant. They will torture you emotionally and psychologically. Get away from them. U will just wasting your time

What if they always have sidekicks and affairs? They are never alone

Avoidant woman here . During no contact , i feel lighter and better , with less psychological pressure . However , i still often times think of the person who went no contact or ghosted . Just worry if they are okay . Like "im fine with you moving on , but i hope you're alive and well" kind of feeling . I dont date because i dont want to be an avoidant in a relationship and inflict pain on someone due to my inability to be consistent . I dated a guy who was more avoidant than i am , and he was also most likely a sociopath or a narcissist . It was a horrible relationship . And im not even someone who's anxious attacher . Someone like that would probably feel even worse . And i dont want to do that to anyone . So i dont date .

What if a DA shows all this signs but de are friends ?

Im no longer under the illusion that he feels anything. He's most likely feeling another woman that's what he's feeling. No regrets, no regard as to how his family is doing. I'm on to healing it gets better everyday.

14:49 I am not someone’s lesson and or training experiment so they act right for the next relationship or develop a brain.

So they become and say mean things to you when they’re ending things? Such as I only want you for svx? Flipping things around and denying that they said they have feelings for you? Telling you to go find the love of your life?

So many males do this.

They text bomb just like narcs so you will get caught. Then when you are stuck, they start to disappear. But stopped instead of chasing. The best thing I did to get myself back. They want you to be there when they need you. Then they can drop you like a hot potato straight away. They can do strange things and be surprised when you react and disappear, quiet down or run away when you confront them. Taught me a lesson for life. But seeing that I also grew up with two avoidant parents. So it became familiar. But I got anxious. But learned this shit. What it is. Bullshit. I like to converse not run away.

We dated exclusively for over 3 months and when I asked why he hasn't made it official yet he said he didn't feel the urgency to do it and that he doesn't see it working long term. I asked him why and he didn't give me a real answer, I asked him if this is just me or he's like this in general and he said its like this general so I said "oh so you're an avoidant" and he said "yes definitely". He told me that he hasn't been with anyone for more than 2 dates since his ex during the pandemic until he met me and he feels comfortable with me and he thinks i'm cute and hot but he just doesn't feel it. But i'm still confused and I question if he ever liked me at all or just liked being comfortable with my company.

My avoidant put on a show in the beginning. He was attentive, affectionate and made me feel desired. He committed to me after the first few months of dating. He actually cried in front of me talking about his father’s death. Now, we’re a year in, and he’s a completely different person. I’ve been obsessively researching how to help him feel safe, comfortable and secure in our relationship. He treats me like he doesn’t even like me. He doesn’t initiate sex anymore, when at one time he couldn’t keep his hands off me. I don’t think he finds me physically attractive, because when I do get him to engage, he can’t stay aroused, and he will frequently turn the lights out. Meanwhile, he watches porn daily to get his needs met. He is now micro cheating, on social media and through texts. He’s also actively using a sex hookup site, to interact inappropriate with people through messages. He portrays himself as a single man. He is starving me, mentally, emotionally and physically. He only does one thing on this list, and that is acts of service. I don’t know if that is enough to justify staying in a situation, that is completely destroying me. I’m pretty sure he’s on his way out tho. He’s made a few new female friends. They will drop by and spend time with him at his house, where I don’t live. When I am there, most of the women that come by, will act like I don’t exist. He swears he’s not attracted to any of them, but I call bullshit. I actually think he’s in limerence with one of them. What a waste of my life. Trying so hard for someone that doesn’t give the same energy and effort. It’s agonizing to watch him slowly walking away from me.

Hi, i know this video is kinda old, but i would love an advice on the subject. My ex and i end up the relationship 9 months ago, and i still watch daily his new girlfriends social media. When i stop doing it, once i watched them again, it was harder for me to see all of those posts of them together, specially because he cut the relation because wasn't ready for a girlfriend, and 20 days later had gotten a new girl. I had a 2024 full of anxiety and depression, in part for this breakup and the amount of low selfsteem that provideed. So my question here is: Is the only solution to just stop watching her social media altought i know that if i fall again it will feel worst? Or in this case is it better to just don't dedicate much time to that, and watch 2 minutes of her socials and then keep working on myself until one day i stop doing it?? please help :( Lastly, i want to clarify that i don't have the expectations of this person getting back with me, and altought sometimes i miss him, i do not want people like him in my life anymore, i just watch his girlfriend socials to get even more dettached and aknowledge that he's not the person i met, and doesn't love me, pbbly, he never did actually. Anyways, sorry for the bad grammar, im from Argentina 😂 Hugs and thank you ! 🫂🫂

They are godless.

6:59 🎯 That's _HER!_ 💯

Thanks for your clear-headed and nuanced approach of individual needs and how their interplay influences the relationship experience for each party! 👌🏼✨🙏🏼

Im so confused lol

I myself left my ex avoidant he did not leave me I left him because he wasn't being honest about certain things I did reach out to him after about 4:00 to 5 weeks and the conversation was through a text and it was casual and it wasn't long I did cut the conversation and told him to take care and I went no contact and been that ever since

The best thing to do is don't waste your time with an avoidant. They will only complicate things and break your heart. They will make you feel like you're not good enough. 💔

Im kust so tired of this. I want to get this over and move on. 😢

Watching this on Christmas Day instead of playing with my kids, because I can’t face interacting with the DA wife that discarded me last month.

If avoidants deal with ROOT issues and set themselves up for HEALTHY relationships, that connection COULD end up being found in an EX

What you describe makes me WONDER IF that might have anything at all to do with why some people have had a long laundry list of different phone numbers and addresses When you do a background check on someone and notice a long list of moves and numbers, your description only raises SERIOUS questions When you do a background check on someone, you may not even think much of the LONG list of moves and numbers UNTIL LATER when the pieces start coming together 🤔🤔🤔 When the pieces start coming together, THAT'S when you can reflect start looking a closer at certain details Maybe you might be one of those people who doesn't date much, and maybe you NEED time to LEARN through REFLECTIONS These are the times you can review things you missed before and ask SERIOUS questions If there are things you missed before, it's probably because you just DIDN'T KNOW and you JUST DON'T HAVE much experience with a wide range of broken people

What I'm seeing on my ex's attitude like she's very very proud that she's single now (she's a dismissive avoidant) blocked me to all of social media. Treating me like invisible. You can easily tell that it's not "relief" stage anymore, she already moved on

So helpful. Thank you!

I was ghosted 3 weeks ago he said things were haywire and his mind ill and he will be in touch. He's not contacted me or replied to my messages or support. I stopped messaging him at all over a week ago and I won't contact him anymore. He was meant to come for Christmas his presents were under the tree, he has broken my heart and humiliated me. If he comes back I do not want him, I would rather be alone 😢

Hey charlie ! You are great at your explanations ! Much appreciated, and lo e tbe guitar collection in the background 🤘

Need help: my FA liked a post of mine (we’re not following each other) I’m in a conflict because I wanna stay true to my boundaries and stay in no contact until she reaches out in a meaningful way but what if she needs a reaction to feel safe to reach out further? Because we know that they fear rejection. But maybe she’s also just looking for validation and that’s it. And also I don’t want to take responsibility from her, since she broke up, the ball is in her hand. I just don’t know if it was an act to test the water to see if she’s safe to reach out or something else.

We split on Nov 4 it’s recent My ex avoidant replied to my text (I broke no contact) and he said “I was always concerned about your health and I hope you will have a happy life with a positive mindset” I replied my health is fine that I’m at the gym and that I think of him and cherish our moments. That thanks for his good wishes. This means he doesn’t want to come back? I replied with a pic of myself at the gym because he mentioned my health (I was sad when we were together because was a long distance relationship) I don’t understand what he means., Did I lose him completely?

Very helpful and I appreciate your gentle, soothing voice.

Between you and Heidi Priebe - y’all are saving my life. I am not joking. 🙏🏻

He blocked me everywhere so no social media. I deactivated FB. We're LDR. I'm remain hopeful he'll send me an email that's more then "How are you"

5:09 🔑

In my case she just broke up without giving any reasons besides "i can't do this" "can't tell you why", went straight to ghosting me and after _6 months_ decided to reapproach me. Never again. Don't believe anything she says and can't take her serious anymore.

So helpful right now, thank you for the peace

I met an avoidant 6 months ago who also has sexual trauma in her past life now I’m seeing a therapist, psychiatrist and going to couples therapy but she doesn’t come to the couples meetings. Also said she needs time and space today after I asked why can’t we go out more instead of sitting at home all the time. I’m fighting to get my girlfriend to wanna go do more fun stuff. After 45 days of walking on egg shells I started calling out of her BS but in a heathy argumentative way. She would completely shutdown and tell me I’m being silly. After 6 months today she asked for space I told her if you’re done say you’re done and I got the notorious ‘ need time and space’. I was single for 8 years prior to this 6 month relationship started. She’s in for a rude awakening when needing space from a nomad. I packed up my 3 containers then me and my dog drove 2,300 miles away the next day :)