Pure Flix's *Family Friendly* Mad Max (Jesus is there) (also the rapture happens)
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"I've never questioned God's existence until I watched a Pureflix movie." - My mother
Omfg I love this. We stan you and ur mom.
A surprise to see you in this comment section but a welcome one to be sure
should i skip school for youtube video making? i making good stuff but i need much time to making. maybe replace school with making videos. i have two girlfriends. thanks for your opinion dear janes
So, they do stimulate theological enquiry? Not all bad then.
Wise words
From now on, I'm going to refer to kissing only as "light sex".
tbh, if they had proper kisses on the lips here, I think it'd be like medium sex
Or perhaps like many movie recap channels call it recently.
Kissing = A hormone hug, or hormonal interaction lolz.
I recently kissed my kid goodnight on the cheek.
I am understandably NOT HAPPY with Pureflix's interpretation of my interaction. WTF?
@@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 true. Sexualizing kissing is annoying. Sure, some kissing is meant as sexual, but acting like it’s inherently an r-rated interaction is a really perverse idea of affection. Christians will often talk about “this sex-obsessed world” but then do stuff like this.
diet sex
I've been hospitalized before, and they had me remove my cross not because it might be considered offensive, but because the metal would potentially mess with some of the machines. They'd have done the same thing even if it was a pentagram. Metal matters to them. Faith doesn't .
There were no machines in that scene, though.
@@Oddball_E8 touché.
Metal matters. Faith doesn’t. Sounds like something I want tattooed on my body
Yes, literally anything magnetic becomes a bullet if you so much as step into the room with an MRI machine. I'm not kidding, people have died. The magnetic fields in the room are so strong that a pen will just go straight through you, a magnetic pacemaker will literally get pulled out of your chest. A chair with metal wheels or legs with slam into the machine with thousands of pounds of force and take even more to remove.
Really, the only way to get the metal out is to turn off the machine, which involves spinning it down from thousands of RPM, turning everything off, removing everything, repairing everything, then turning it back on and spinning it back up. The process can take a _whiiiilleeee_ and be very very expensive for the hospital.
So, even the hospital workers must have all metal removed. Failure to comply costs a day of labor and thousands of dollars and possibly someone's life.
Its funny too bc everytime I've stayed at the hospital or gone in for stuff like surgeries they always ask about my spirituality! Most places are accommodating af, they just looove being dramatic 🙃
I love how the whole "God will protect you from bullets" thing is just a different version of that story about the guy drowning on his roof during a flood, only without the actual lesson you're supposed to learn at the end.
Dead Guy: "I got shot, I though you would protect me!"
God: "Dude you LITERALLY sell bullet-proof vests for a living. How much more obvious could I be?"
I like when movies give a female character hair with pink streaks and emo-esque clothes thinking it'll make them look like a derranged dangerous outlaw and not either a young teen or a nice woman who works at a bookstore and enjoys arts and crafts.
says a lot about the audience
@@badger6882
And even more about the directors.
American conservative Christians fear unnatural hair color almost as much as they fear minorities
"I hate his wife as much as he would if he were a boomer comedian" is the most perfect sentence.
"Converse overalls the sequel to converse pants lets make them even longer"
@@Stevie-J ok grandpa, isn't it time for your nap?
@@Stevie-J "I'm sorry that alternative opinions threaten you and you feel the need to lash out like that"
-Doesn't this apply to your first comment?
-Also, In old tv shows and movies the standard joke for a married couple was that they hated each other. Never heard of "Take my wife, please"? Wife jokes are the go to for cliched old comedians. Why does referencing this bother you so much?
@@Stevie-J >in my 20s
>Not an idiot
Pick one champ.
@@Stevie-J Someone's pressed.
As a door-to-door bulletproof vest salesman myself, I think this movie is amazingly accurate.
I feel like Pureflix exists because David White's acting and writing careers were going nowhere, so he made his own production studio and distriubution company so he could just hire himself.
Wait, read through David white’s character’s arc with a homosexual lens and it starts making a bit more sense. The wife (and consequently the rapture) is the unattainable standard of heterosexual normativity, and both him and the biker need to let go. No wonder the biker’s arc truly starts with him shooting his shot. Biblical mad max woke ass hell.
"woke ass hell" perfect phrase, no notes
DId anyone read it any other way? Clearly he was driving to his Grindr date when all the hell broke loose, and then he just goes from man to man in each subsequent movie.
I need a retelling of this film in this way.
Congratulations you made christion mad max gay
"If you think drag queens are dramatic, you haven't seen 2 cowboys get into a fistfight over using the lord's name in vain." Ma'am, I live in the American south, I've seen cowboys fistfight over the last beer
My sister grew up in the South and everything I hear about it kind of scares me. XD
In my mind the entire south is just one great big rougelike dungeon full of cowboys with the final boss being the entire state of Florida.
I've seen cowboys fistfight over who gets to fist fight another cowboy over who gets to fight another cowboy over who gets the last beer!
Honestly, when I think of the South, yeah the dramatic cowboy stories come to mind.
But lately I've been having somewhat interesting imaginations. And they usually follow the pattern of gayness, cowboys, magic, forbidden romance, and etc.
@@iknowthatyouregayfireflies9992 I *wish* I had a magical gay cowboy to have a forbidden romance with
Maybe the "light sex" tag was because all of the bondage
"and then the rapture happens"
I have never heard a line delivered so straight faced, as if it was just an everyday thing
I literally love how a good chunk of Pureflix's audience is curious lesbians who love bad stories
Wait, who are the others?
@@thunderbird3304 Closeted women full of regret trying to convince themselves they love their husbands.
@@sethporter6365 I think they were referring to other TH-camrs who review PureFlix content. Mostly, I've just seen guys review them.
@@sethporter6365 I cackled at this lmfao 😂💀
There’s Ally Hills
Pureflix: We can’t show violence because violence is not Christian.
The Bible: *details a brother beating his sibling’s skull in with a rock, a plague that killed off every single newborn baby, and a mad lad having an all-night wrestling match with an angel*
Don't forget the time God summoned two bears to slaughter a bunch of children for making fun of a guy. 2Kings 2:23-24, I wish I was making this shit up.
don't forget about Sodom and Gomorrah!
There was the guy who killed Eglon by walking up to him and saying, “I have a message from God,” then stabbing him with a sword so deep he literally can’t pull it out again
Also the rewrite of Sodom and Gomorrah with a slave woman getting gang r*ped and left to die by her master. Which is used by Israel as an excuse to demolish a whole town.
Also cutting newborns in half with a sword.
I've come to the conclusion that at least 60% of Pureflixs subscriptions revenue comes from TH-camrs that dunk on its movies. And I guess I'm okay with that because I keep watching and liking these videos. It's just so fun!
Having the granddaughter say “only god can save you” after SHE literally JUST saved him is just the kind of baffling misunderstanding of basic themes that I have come to expect from Evangelical films. I mean, “don’t wear bullet proof vests because god (??)” is already a bizarre theme but, beyond that, someone other than god saves him, and god doesn’t save him at any point. Like, what???
I guess God work through her
Yeah the point is that whenever it's beneficial for mental health, you can turn to believing that God was responsible and that whatever happened had a point that will be good for the world. It doesn't have anything to do with what actually happens or the whole 'free will' thing that seems to fly out the window whenever it's useful to give God credit for someone's actions
"Knockoff rosa diaz cosplaying ebony darkness dementia ravenway"
That is Scarily accurate despite being something that would absolutely never happen
That description sounds way more appealing than what it was talking about. I can think of worse visuals than a goth Stephanie Beatriz. A lot more. This lady does not have that charisma. :(
When I first skimmed this comment I really thought that quote was in another language 😂😂
This video is worth watching for this line alone
@@mogmeiquel I mean, it kind of is, isn't it?
i just watched the video of her dressing like Ebony lmao
You know a movie is good when it is written, produced, directed and starred in by the same person. The blueprint for a masterpiece 😌
call it the tyler perry affect
Also a bonus if said person appears in a black vest. That is the truest mark of quality as seen in the works of such greats as Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen.
@@comradet0m black tank top syndrome is a real thing that needs more awareness
It worked for Hamilton?
Its called atuere theory
Pureflix: "There's not enough good Christian-themed entertainment in pop culture!"
Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, VeggieTales: "Well excuuuse us then!"
I would add the Chosen to this list, it makes me care more than any Christian project has since Veggietales
@@luthientinuviel3883 The Chosen slaps, I would legitimately watch an episode just for fun. Absolutely deserves a place on the list.
Martin Scorcese’s entire filmography- oh wait those actually do challenge their audience no wonder the pureflix crowd would ignore them
I can’t rly see the Christian themes in Lord of the rings
@@kyuniverse718 Gandalf's return can be seen as a Christ-like resurrection, along with how morality is treated (there is good and evil, which is described as being 'seductive'). But the influence is much more noticeable in the books.
I only just learned the term "tradwife" by watching this video- it's satisfyingly concise and I'm totally going to use the hell out of it now, whenever I feel like family or society are trying to threaten me into being one.
“But then the rapture happens. This causes some strife within the biker gang.”
Losing my mind about this series of sentences
Tagging a movie with "light sex" is legit the funniest thing I've ever seen. Absolutely losing my mind over this
Sounds like an ao3 tag😂
@@francescapatti2934 “light sex” is definitely something I would see on ao3
If theres a light sex than is there a *dark* sex?
@@PatchyThePirate_ If there is, it's better you *not* know...
I actually saw a tag like that, it was just a very little description of sex.
I know the Straenge sign is supposed to be pronounced strange , but I can’t help but read it as ‘streenge’.
I kept laughing at the fact that you kept shipping those two dudes through the video. It's always such a wonder how these types of things just have all sorts of unintentional homoeroticism sprinkled throughout. If nothing else, it was obviously more entertaining than the fight scenes.
My uncle, who has become an incredibly culty kind of Christian recently, continuously tries to convince me that I should only be watching Pureflix, and yet when I recommend that he watch the new Ghostbusters movie because he loved the originals he decided that it was probably too paranormal and Satanic. Apparently little, sentient marshmallow men are Satanic and the hot garbage he's watching isn't.
This is my parents who are ridiculously inconsistent.
@@theasexualvampire13 * Sees your username* Huzzah! a man of quality!
If he is suggesting you watch them maybe try looking up a podcast called God Awful Movies. It is 3 American atheist that do reviews of lots of those movies. It can be rather funny and gives you talking points.
@@momomc.thotty yikes
im so lucky my uncles are probably dead or in jail and live(d?) out of state
Being raised christian and also being a dark little goth kid, Revelation was definitely
my favorite. The "edgiest, coolest, litest book of the Bible" killed me lmao
I remember having a beginners bible as a kid. It completely skipped over Revelation. The one cool part of the bible
Yea, those children's bibles tended to leave out the best parts, the "Angels" *cough*aliens*cough* in Ezekiel
@@arby327 i sorry about that, i hope it at least had KINGS
@@woaddragon im not well versed in bible stuff, what happens in kings?
@@robyns5977 Ecclesiastes is the best biblical book, all others are c-tier, at best.
When I was in acting school years ago, the Pureflix casting director (an old friend of my advisor's from the pre-Pureflix days) came in to speak to us for a class, gave us his contact info, etc. Pretty chill dude. Given that a good chunk of us were enormous queers, we never took him up on a meeting, but they did gain some hatewatchers. 🤷♀
Going by the small heap of ashes, I would have concluded that the wife had been a vampire.
You had me at Pureflix. They are a surreal world of nonsensical fantasy, horrible production values, toxic messages and just plain insanity
To paraphrase King of the Hill "You aren't making Christianity better, you're making movies worse."
th-cam.com/video/ChDMq8DPdp4/w-d-xo.html
@@choicethetaurus wait this is actually pretty good- one of the few times I don't regret clicking some random link
God's not dead 1 actually looked really nice, it just had a horrible premise and script
My parents refusing to acknowledge there was anything wrong with it was a real wake up call for me
Like I still can't believe they final destinationed the college professor right when he was about to repent
Honestly I don't think I've seen a film with a more spiteful ending, like at least in a film like Oldboy you see it coming, this was just completely out of nowhere
@@ScornfulEg0tist "this was just completely out of nowhere"
This is when you know it's good writing :P
As an American, I think we need more door to door builder proof vest salesman.
absolutely not. we need more door to door gun salesman. as the man said "whut dew yew trust to proteck your famly? a bullit proof vist? or a GUN?
I too am terrified of builders and am in dire need of a builder proof vest
@@tallulah.9143 Everyday I hide from builders with there cranes, bulldozers and hard hats but with my builder proof vest they all just implode when they lay there eyes on me
Seriously, those damn builders are everywhere! The horrifying hi-vis jackets and orange hard hats... I'm tired of being afraid of the builders. It's time to fight back.
"builder proof vest" LMAO I'M DEADDDDD
my mother purchased pureflix and while watching a few movies with her the only two i found even remotely enjoyable were "John Light" and "Lucy Shimmers and the Prince of Peace"
i find about 99% of christian media is soulless and unenjoyable but the latter movie actually made me cry
"God's not dead 3" ??? Let me guess, the villain is Darth Nietzsche ? 🤣
A movie truly adapting Revelation would be wild-you’ve got beasts, some hard core pain and suffering, and four horses of different colors that child me 100% thought looked like my little pony characters because they were the only weird colored horses I knew.
Too bad we can’t have My Little Pony: Apocalypse is Magic tbh
""Too bad we can’t have My Little Pony: Apocalypse is Magic tbh""
Might I interest you in Fallout Equestria?
There was a skit in Robot Chicken kind of like that. My Little Pony: Apocalypse Pony
Why? I shouldn't relate to this comment, Bute here we are.
The relentless tepidity and cheapness of evangelist film ironically makes a bunch of utterly wild shows closer to gospel narratives than the Pureflix garbage. Even the surface text of Revelations sounds a hell of a lot more like Devilman Crybaby than anything David White has ever made.
As someone who used to be in the mlp fandom there's fan fictions that cover apocalypse horses
I actually met the Pureflix dudes. They came to our film class in High School and did a lecture for a whole day because one of the guys in our class was the son of a director on one of their movies. They seemed like okay people, and even gave us their emails in case we ever wanted to pitch a script to them. Given that all my shit's gay af, I have yet to take them up on the offer.
No you should do it. I would actually watch a gay pureflix film.
unironically do it. you can setup pricing on the script and make a nice chunk of change if they like it.
Please do it and see what they say
do it. I just want to see how they react
PLEASE do it!!! Either that or I will.. 😳
I watched this when it came out with my old, weird church! completely forgot about that traumatic corpse of cinema, and I hate that you've reminded me. Thanks!
PureFlix is basically what Butch Hartman wanted OAXIS to be
bruh why did you have to go and make me remember OAXIS???
The review might've as well said "If American Christianity was a spice, it'd be flour"
Absolute savage
David White gives some serious self-insert fanfic energy. He's always some kind of main protagonist, and they're all just him in a hat. Even when his characters are supposed to be morally wrong, like in Malibu Dan, they unfailingly become morally right. The quality of the movie or show doesn't really matter; he clearly assumes the audience will unfailingly root for him.
The quality doesn't matter because they have a captive audience. The type of people that watch this trash literally won't watch mainstream film.
I love your profile pic!!
He very much sounds like another Derek Savage type of guy.
Giving me When I Was In High School and Learning to Write Stories Vibes.
"and then the rapture happens" the exact energy i currently possess regarding the seventeen new covid variants. like might as well.
15:38 "an entirely new cast of characters, such as--" 😺 MEEP "hello!" That was adorable 🥺
The purpose of being a tradwife is flexing on other tradwives about how you're the best tradwife, and how they can't carry your tradwife jock because your pecan spinwheels taste the Jesus-iest (or such is my understanding).
So this is Gallifreyan swearing…?
That's true regardless. Humans compete.
this is the best description in every way. if i had the money to, id hire you full time with benefits to just describe different concepts to me.
One thing that I ask myself when I see one of those "Rapture happens and society immediately falls apart" is, how does this look in other countries? Like Japan for example has around 1% christian population. Sure that's still a lot of people, but I feel like 2 years later, Japan (and many other countries ) would be doing just fine while the US immediately seems to turn into a wasteland.
A good question is which denomination is the "right" one. According to certain Protestants Catholics are not real Christians. It means in my country (94% Catholic) nobody would even notice Rapture no matter how much Jesus loving country it is. Not to mention that apocalypse is not that important for the Church so I doubt many would understand why couple percent of population just disappeared
I generally assume that for roughly half of the apocalypse media set in the US, the rest of the world is just fine and to them, America has just reached new levels of dumpster fire
Like European Christians (apart from a few smaller groups imported from the US) don't even belive in the rapture, if they haven even heard of it, so can you be raptured if you don't belive in the rapture?
The thing you have to understand is that Evangelicalism (where Rapture theology came to fruition) is extremely decentralized. There are no elected or appointed leaders. There is a marketplace of "ideas", and whomever sells the most books or draws the most people to their church "wins". As such, what "the Rapture" is and who it effects is hotly debated by the various believers in this nonsense.
Left Behind author Tim LaHaye, for example, put forth the notion that the Real, True Christians *and* all children below the "age of accountability" (maybe 7-10 years old) would be Raptured off. In such a case, everywhere would be affected. It wouldn't necessarily be a complete social collapse, but a childless world would decimate a lot of industries.
Even weirder: society seems to crumble just as fast in a lot of zombie movies as well.
Dear Strange Aeons, you have my deepest sympathy in that you made it thru these 3 films and did not end up brain dead. You are a true hero in even taking on such a herculean effort. Damn good video by the way :)
I worked in my school library for a year and the librarian was like picture of Pope Francis on her desk Christian so there was a Christian book section and let me tell you I skimmed some of the synopses of the books in the series that the Left Behind movies were based on and they were WILD
"But we just saw them turn into orbs!"
"No, they're just really good at hide-and-seek."
Brilliant.
Never thought I would cackle at the idea of an old woman's ghost calling you an idiot for not knowing bible quotes and deucing out but here we are
you know, I feel like quite a lot of old women would do exactly that as ghosts.
Just a fun fact here for ya
That man from the start of the video/movie, the man who made the jerky behind the countertop, played Leland Palmer from the show Twin Peaks and for those who have seen the show and who know his character will have probably gotten a good chuckle seeing him in this good Christian movie.
I have literally never heard of pure flix until now but "mad max with jesus" definitely caught my attention.
The best bit is that Ray Wise (who played the shop keeper) has played Satan multiple times over his career.
I wonder if that's intentional.
And the Evil Lawyer in God's Not Dead 2!
I was shocked and surprised and a bit confused. "Don't eat the jerky!!!" popped into my head and not just because I am vegan.
And Leland Palmer
He played a priest in a few episodes of Psych
"So anyway then the rapture happens" is literally a plot point in this movie, and I will remember this whenever I criticize myself and think the plot of my writing is based on contrivance
I bought two DVDs from Pureflix at dollar Tree but haven't watched either yet. One is the version of Little Women with Lea Thompson as Marmee, the other is called The Imposter, which is about an unbelieving Christian rocker whose mentor is played by Kerry Livgren of Kansas, who became fundamentalist Christian in the early 1980s. I bought it only because of Livgren's involvement.
In the original script, Ebony Darkness was called Midnight Shadow Rouge, but no one on the production staff could spell Rouge correctly, so they went with the other name.
6:15 that jerky is 100% made from people
Got it in one, Tiger Girl.
The body of Christ jerky style
Absolutely.
I don't see a problem here. Cannibalism should be a-okay in Christianity, no? With all the rituals about eating Jesus in Church...
"knock off Rosa Diaz cosplaying Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven" is a brilliant description.
so many brilliant descriptions this episode
I hate that I got this reference
Oh my god Murderbot is such a good series, I’m so excited to hear someone else talk about it! The audiobooks are narrated by Kevin R Free, who people might know as Kevin from Welcome To Night Vale. The books are novellas and one full length novel, so the series isnt a huge time commitment but you get so much personality and humour and emotional investment and pretty engaging plots in a small package. Murderbot themself is Such A Mood.
I did click on this knowing about PureFlix, but did so because your style is badass. An actually good apocalyptic Christian movie is "The Rapture" with Mimi Rogers and David Duchovny. It never lets you know whether it's serious or satirical. There are both laugh-out-loud moments and serious tear-jerking moments.
Pureflix movies are basically like if Dana Carvey's SNL Church Lady got really inspired by Hallmark and Lifetime movies and just went all in on "film" making.
Love Church Lady!
Yes, the best description
I suspect that would be slightly more entertaining.
If I saw that ‘fight’ scene in the shop with no context, I would have 100% thought “oh that’s a tomska sketch I haven’t seen” lol
"Hey, buddy! You wanna take this outside?"
"Sure!"
"Wow, what a lovely evening!"
"This was a really good idea!"
Oh my goddd… I can’t believe this is re-entering my stream of conscious - basically, when I was like 16-17, and a problem child runaway, I landed myself in juvenile detention for a few weeks. Believe it or not, we were allowed to watch a movie some nights if we earned a certain level of good behavior, and this was one of them. What an absolute throwback to degeneracy, and I’m honestly still not sure what was worse - being stuck in juvy, or stuck watching this movie in its entirety.
I always assumed that they went out to some random latch of desert to film this but I never really bothered to guess which desert ot was until I learned the place I'm getting therapy in is in the same building as pureflix itself and the realization that I share any form of vicinity with them threw me for a massive loop
A little fact about David R white. He is a Christian actor , and I think he own part of PureFlix, who’s made movies about never divorcing because it would make god cry. Then as of earlier this year his wife divorced him.
I can't wait to see how a film maker of this caliber is gonna harness his likely very intense divorce energy into his future works 🙏
Its God. And I doubt he made a Movie about Never Divorcing at all.
@@skwills1629 it's a minor grammar mistake, calm down
I'd watch a rapture apocalypse movie where the only people who are left behind are the Good Christians™©® who were 100% sure *they'd* be raptured
*unraptured Christian*: Oh, this heaven looks weird. Very dusty and Madmaxxy. But hey, I've been a good boi so this gotta be Heaven, right?
I would love that
Ironic.
Wow, I just don't know how you get through these things. I can't even stand it second hand. That's kind of amazing. Also love your kitty. :)
I will never not see Ray Wise as Leland Palmer, which makes every performance he gives terrifying.
PureFlix made a movie about the Columbine shooting which basically says that Rachel Scott was killed for being religious. It's as awful as it sounds
What the even
Is it as bad as Bench Appearo's school shooting "thriller"?
@@GeneEricWhiteman worse
@@GeneEricWhiteman hahahaha! I usually just call him Ben Sharpie.
🤢🤢
Why could they not show the dude's head getting caved in? I watched Cain do that to Abel with a rock in a cartoon meant for little baby children, much less a rockin action movie.
Budget.
@@tanithsfinest Kill Count shows just how difficult it is to do properly.
Conservative Christians dislike the realities of their own religion. Unless it's the Crucifixion. Then they bust out 'Passion of the Christ'; and try guilting you into worshiping Jesus.
@@mysteriiis Gibson is Catholic, so showing brutality it's normal (you should look old paintings about martyrs).
@@mishakac1283 Is true, old school Catholicism is hard core. Gibson is part of some weird 'more-Catholic-than the Pope' nonsense.
I found your channel because of this video yesterday and I've probably watched 40 of your videos since then. You are absolutely wonderful and I will be following your channel from now on.
This was a really fun watch! ^^
You have a nice voice that is very pleasant to listen to~
the ease with which you rattle off the name "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way" will never cease to impress me.
i used to be christian (now apatheist) and honestly just from what i remember christian lore is so cool???? the eldritch horror of angels??? the fear of god??? the absolute /banger/ of a setting that is the end of days??? lucifer vs micahel final showdown????? why are they not focusing on that if they want people to watch christian stories????
Because the effort and budget required for that is way above what these people are capable of.
Yo the bible wasn't made to be inspiring it was supposed to terrifying
Because then ppl realize how much violent and and fucked up the Bible really is.
@@Jokoko2828 apatheist?
What's an apatheist? I'm a pagan, I'm just curious and not trying to convert you or anything lol
The limp-wristed crucifixion thing keeps reminding me of reading "Left Behind", which I read when I was a teenager for the same reasons as you selected this (I made it through Apollyon before I was to bored and sick of the preachiness. Apollyon is the name of 'The Archangel of the Abyss', therefore it is also my last name.)
Anyway, they made a really big deal about the main character punching someone in just such a way that it accidentally killed the guy and they keep referring back to it for like 3 or 4 books, I assume because they can only maintain so much character development when the characters that >didn't get raptured< are paragons of christian morality the entire time.
"This really Extra™ Australian guy" -- Oh how the [Kevin Sorbo, formerly TV's 'Hercules'] have fallen. Directly into the Jesus Pit™. Which happens to also be the "Self-Published Self-Insert Bible Fanfic" Pit™. Funnily enough, he also does his own stuff. In exactly this same vein.
Holy fuck he's tryna be Jason Bourne but he's not even Jason Bourn-Again,
he's just just Jason Bored
9:37 I like how "but then the Rapture happens" appears to be inserted at a totally random point in the script that has nothing to do with any of the movie's prior events.
Every time I hear the name "Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way" I hope more and more that My Immortal was satirical.
You said “rapture” but I heard “raptor” and this was instantly a better movie.
Might I recommend the movie "The VelociPastor"?
I love the undefined older male figure, like a woman cant exist by herself she has to be beholden by some old man, doesnt really matter what the relationship is.
"I had the urge to walk out onto the highway."
Babe, that's called suicidal ideation.
This is my introduction to your channel and I love it!
I am unapologetically Christian, pray with my family every day. I stumbled on your review ( all praise the algorithm) and was totally entertained. You are right, most Christian oriented media tends to be hack at best but there are some jewels, intentional or not. I submit my opinion of two excellent Christian endeavors. The original made for TV series The Stand and Book of Eli.
"sir we just saw them turn into orbs" "NO THEY'RE JUST REALLY GOOD AT HIDE AND SEEK"
The idea of "Rapture" is the perfect example of how American understanding of Christianity and its eschatology seems completely insane to people (including other Christians) from different parts of the world
i mean I was raised a polish catholic and rapture does sound similar to what we were taught- it can come any day any time and if you're not a good Christian™ then you will be damned. no "you'll get left behind" Bs tho lol
@@brutus3631 That's just regular Judgement Day, the left behind bs *is* the Rapture, where all the good christians get sucked up into heaven and the world supposedly suck because they are gone. I assume regular Judgment Day happens after that, but I'm not really sure since American Christian media never seem to get past the Rapture part, and I also don't know what the point would be anymore since the good Christians are already in heaven. Maybe God just chucks the earth into the abyss after a while or something, tho that would still make the whole "left behind" part pointless since God could have just done that right away. I guess American christians just found the apocalypse scary, so they invented a way for them to skip that while still making everyone else suffer and didn't really think about the implications.
@@Painocus for us it was basically "everyone is judged and the sinners are left here OR go straight to hell" really every church says something differently, but yeah the only difference is that the judgement day won't happen when you're sleeping or sth because it's a big event, not just zoop everyone dissapeared
@@brutus3631 yeah, it seems to be pretty strong in some catholic cultures too. A high-school bestie is now a reactionary priest... hates Vatican II and disagrees with thr pope about masks and climate change. I can't even...
If you actually want an edgy, cool adaptation of Revelation, Chris Koelle's graphic novel version is SICK. Some genuinely terrifying cosmic-horror-esque art.
I like your new setup. Lighting is on point. You poppin
21:51 As a wise man once said:
“ The bible is quite specific on killing. It is, however, somewhat fuzzy around the subject of kneecaps.”
Is it quite specific about killing? because it says “thou shalt not kill” and then god proceeds to sanction his people to kill everyone lol
@@saggguy7 (That Joshua Graham quote about righteous killing here)
🎵 Take my love, take my land, take me where I cannot stand. I don't care, I'm still free,
You can't take the sky from me. 🎵
@@grahamcarpenter5135 You can't stop the signal, Mal!
@@saggguy7 The correct translation is 'thou shalt not commit murder'. Then you turn to Leviticus/Deuteronomy for the specifics on what constitute murder, self defense, etc.
Aw, Pureflix is so woke, implying that God took every single person of color in the whole world straight to heaven (plus, like, 4 good white people) and then sent a --magical n-- black angel to keep an eye on the rest.
Magical n?
@@ussinussinongawd516 en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magical_Negro
17:04
Myth busted!!! 😎😎😎
@@Ajehy - So, show no Blacks in a Good Light, and you are Racist, Show Blacks in a Goo Light, and You are Racist. Don't show Blacks at all, and You are Racist. Suffice to say, unless Black, all Film Makers have been Racists.
@@skwills1629 they want blacks as people, not a plot devices. There's a difference between black people as a character, and them usually being used as a moral story, as either pure good or pure evil.
This vid/channel randomly appeared in my recommended today and I wasn't disappointed. What a babe.
If you don't know of Fireproof, I would also suggest watching that for a good laugh lol
You might try The Omega Code if you want a not awful movie based on Christian apocalyptic mythology. It features Michael York devouring the scenery.
Seconded. It's still slightly cringe, but I've seen way worse.
Bump
Sorry, but the first thing I could think of was omegaverse smut 😂
She can also play Doom
It's endlessly fascinating to me that these films, financed and justified on the basis that they will 'convert' people, always have narratives that literally do not function the instant you have even the slightest difference in worldview or 'theology' from White - not even work less well or are less persuasive, but literally do not function as a continuous narrative. These films suck up tens of thousands of donations each from multiple evangelist churches, and far more than that in donations of labour and goods, justifying this on the basis that they are spreading a message - and then they are sold entirely to these same people who will be told they are failing the faith if they don't watch them.
Ironically, this makes them incredibly good at presenting the exact worldview of a prosperity gospeleer.
I don't think these movies are designed to convert people as much as they're made for Christians to watch themselves.
Pragmatically they are made to preach to the converted since the films are cofusing or even incomprehensible if you don't share the worldview, but if you've been around the communities where he makes these films and others, they regularly solicit for free or discounted film services, props, costumes, sets, and donations on the grounds that the film is 'spreading the word'.
I'd argue this is doing the opposite of converting people to christianity because even if you are christian, if you're not *this type of christian* than I feel like you'd question some things.
tbh I've never heard of Pureflix before this video, your content is just too top tier
I audibly said "What The Fuck" when I learned that Sony bought pure flix.
The only saint in this scenario is Kristen (not sure how it's spelled) for agreeing to watch a week of pure flix with you
It's spelled Kristin :)
The thing that gets me is that if someone pitched to me "Mad Max-esque modern-day western taking place after the Rapture and featuring heavy influences from Revelation" I'd really love to watch it. and yet...
Lol you are a sarcastic shit talker .. I love it 😂😂😂 plus you and your recording area are extremely aesthetically pleasing to me.
I love the heavy metal imagery when they make the hammer
Store owner doesn’t look any different from when he was in Twin Peaks. Amazing.
The thumbnail just makes me want to mix the words around...
"Only bullets can save you from god"
Now, that’s a truly American thing to say
Hwoooo boi… *so are we using silver bullets or do werewolf rules not apply to god?*
@@ashlingemberstone3913 ddjendnwjdb
@@orionar2461 well i’m not in wales at the moment but i have heard of that kind of metal
Better call Hol Horse.
So when Max Rockatansky uses the same methods of violence to exact vengeance he goes mad, but when David White does it it’s cool cause he’s doin it for JEEEESUS
Can't believe I didn't get notified about this. Beautiful stuff. 🤣