My Friend is ADDICTED!! (What Do You Do?)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 พ.ค. 2024
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The 1st thing you need to do is protect your own sobriety! Don't let this "friend" trigger you back into your addiction! I know this is your friend but you have to keep yourself clean first and not let anything else distract you from that or you will be ruining all the progress you have made!
I’m sorry about your friend. I, too, was an addicted ICU nurse. In 1994, I went through the California State BRN diversion program. It saved my life. I’ve been clean and sober ever since - 30 years clean this July, one day at a time. I’m sorry about your friend. I lost my best friend to addiction in 2007. She was a pharmacist. (Pharmacists and nurses have high rates of addiction.) By the time my friend passed away, her situation was astonishingly bad. In all honesty though, it’s a miracle that it wasn’t me who died, as I was in astonishingly horrible shape before I entered recovery. Recovery is beautiful, but it takes work. If a person really doesn’t want it, there isn’t much you can do.
I am so happy to hear about your 30 years!!! That is so inspiring! And it’s always so wonderful to hear from someone who has gone through the same thing. Thank you for sharing. I have also lost close friends. And I’m always wondering why it wasn’t me, because I was at deaths door myself before I finally stopped. Almost 3 years ago now. I hope to have 30 like you one day. ❤❤❤
You are right, there’s almost nothing you can do if somebody isn’t ready. But you can still love them and show them love, and I think that is extremely important.
@@kirstenglaeI totally agree with you. Showing them Love is really all we can do. Some people don’t and that just compounds the person’s problem. It’s very damaging.
Congrats to You!!💞 That’s Awesome!!!
Getting through Diversion and jumping through all their hoops is no easy process. They can keep you for five years. How long were you in?
This will sound cold and heartless, but you MUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST. Remove all friends and pseudo-friends from your life who have the potential to drag you backwards. You no longer know them.
Everytime I see that you have posted a new video I just click so fast! It’s so nice to see another nurse that I can relate to. So glad that you are doing so well ❤️❤️❤️
You are awesome! Thank you so much for being here with me. Nothing but love for you
Can you please (if possible and is okay for the rest of the people involved) talk about how you mended your relationship with your family? You talk about your dad and your sister often, and I wonder how your addiction phase impacted your relationship with them, and how they came to forgive you and have a relationship with you now after your sobriety. My brother has been sober for 4 months now, but I’m still soo scared to interact with him because of how much pain his addiction caused me 😔
Your words at the end - “it’s not your fault” - had me crumpled on my kitchen floor in tears. I needed so much to hear that, especially from someone like you. I lost a best friend to overdose exactly a year ago yesterday, and I’m plagued with thoughts of how I could have prevented it and saved him. ‘If only I’d done xyz maybe he’d still be here…’ Intellectually I know I didn’t have that control, but in my heart…the helplessness is hard to accept. Your videos help me understand what he might have experienced in his addiction. He overdosed less than two weeks after spending 2 months in jail (drug-related charges). He went through that hellish detox, and then walked out with no direction or support in staying sober. In retrospect I can see he was a ticking time bomb.
I look at you, and what you’re doing with this channel, and what I imagine you’ll do in the future, and I think of all he could have been, how he could have helped others just as you are now. If only…
Thank you for the honest conversations about addiction. I wish you well and am cheering for your continued sobriety. I hope you know you’re changing lives.
I HATED lyimg to my loved ones. Just knowing that they know but let me lie out of mercy and pity. That was one of the most painful parts of addiction.
You're teeth are perfect for coming back from years of serious addiction. Great job and keep up the great work.
For me, I would talk myself into believing what I was saying (almost subconsciously). I wasn’t being honest with myself, therefore I also subconsciously thought I wasn’t being deceptive or dishonest with my friends and family.
As an addict, my addiction was to numbing my feelings. I had a lot of trauma that was causing unbearable pain, and I desperately needed to escape that somehow.
Also, I wanted to add, tough love was the worst response my family could ever have had. It pushed me further into shame, and only added to my need for a way out of the pain.
I relate to what you said so much. I have always said this and have never heard anyone else voice it this way. It was like I could partition my brain to where I would, myself, believe the lies I was telling so it didn't even feel like I was lying. Tough love wasn't the answer for me either and I don't think it is for most people. Thank you for your comment. I appreciate you
Hi Brian, so glad to see a new video notification from your channel. So sorry to hear about your friend who is denying having a problem with Drug addiction when it is so clear that they are. They say with Alcoholics that someone doesn't reach out for help until they hit rock bottom and there is no way to go but up, in their situation. Having gone through this yourself in the past, hindsite is 20/20 and you wish you can help but they unfortunately won't seek help until the pain gets so unbearable for them.
It is human instinct for people to try help others overcome an addiction and live a better life. Unfortunately your friend may need to get arrested, like yourself, to be forced to dry out from the drugs and hopefully then they can begin the rebuild their lives.
The only good thing for you, from this experience, is hopefully it will be an extra incentive to continue your successful recovery journey and never have the urge to return to that painful lifestyle.
Thanks for being so open and honest in your recovery and wish you the very best for your continued success and that of your friend as well.
Hey Ben! I appreciate your words so much. Yes, it is hard to watch and to feel so helpless. I hope he can come out of it without having to lose everything. All we can do is have compassion and equanimity in our own hearts for those who are struggling. Thank you for watching and for your support! You are awesome!
@@SmilesforMiles2024 Thanks Brian, learned a new word with "equanimity". It is so true that a word fitly spoken is like Apples of Gold in pictures of Silver.
Having an addicted friend is a truly damned if you do damned if you don’t situation. I guess my advice would be to tell them what you recognize the drug is doing to them and that you want your friend back. But you have to understand that your friend could cut you off for this but at least you can look at yourself in the mirror afterwards but at least you took somewhat of a stand. Tell them how much they mean to you but it’s a tough position to be in.
Thumbs Up 👍 and shared with two million people.❤. Until someone decides that they want help You can’t stop them. Just show them Love.❤
Thanks❤
Thank you for watching ❤❤
I❤ Ur Channel
Brilliant words, as always. Thankyou for this channel. Love from England ❤
I grateful I found you…..
Im grateful that you are here :) Thank you for watching and commenting
Former addicted Paramedic here .... I love your channel, you speak my language fluently. I feel for your friend and I hope they find that untenable pain threshold before it's too late. I also wish the best for you my friend ..... you are doing so well and it is so very hard at times. it really is a daily practice to maintain and grow. Love Love
What I do is make a video disguised as something to help him, but really is just something to get more views by adressing a pervasive socio-cultural issue which many viewers can identify with. At which point they make an emotional connection and like my video.
Thanks for sharing! The background music is distracting, though.
No one looks more like a drug addict than a drug addict acting like they're not a drug addict.
Ha. Ain’t that the truth! Bingo!
@MsRotorwings
Especially when they're shoplifting trying to be nonchalant.
I’m going through something similar. My partner went off the rails after being solid for a few years. Tonight he is in jail for absconding felony probation. We have not spoken since the arrest and I miss him but I don’t miss the lies and the roller coaster. I’ve turned everything over to the higher power
I just found you! I have binge watched your story and your ability to be real, raw, and honest is amazing. You look so healthy and this emotional stability looks great on you. I have so many questions to ask you..but I will slowly open up and ask a few. Continue to shine, your passion to educate the world is selfless.
You are amazing! “This emotional stability looks great on you.” That is just about the coolest thing I’ve ever heard someone say to me. ❤❤ I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. Hit me up at that email I mentioned in the video if you want to talk about anything!!
Excellent analysis, thank-you!
Thank you!❤
Thank you for such an important message.
Helpful.
I relate to everything you say and agree 💯! I was the same completely with Alcohol! I realised it was down to me! We have to go through the process and something has to click! And great advice to others because they is nothing they can do but support them on the journey get them into rehab but for me the most important was be there for them! Don't trun your back on them! Even when they get better! My family dont look or treat me the same anymore! It's just so different and it's sad! The only person who expected me back and supports and understands my journey is my daughter! I am 5yrs 8 months sober! And will never go back! Will done Brian another great video! Sorry about your friend and all support from me here in UK! Hope you are well?
Holy crap at 3:13 I wonder if that’s how my brother felt. I didn’t even know he used anything let alone crack & heroin.
He was the golden child. He had it all. He passed at 43yo in a hotel alone. I wondered why I never knew
It is like a super power lol
If anyone can help you friend you can. Although I know he has to do the work himself, you could be a great inspiration for him.
How can an addict without a program stay friends with someone in active addiction and not get high the first nanosecond they lose their eye on the ball?
Thanks for sharing ♥️🫂🙏
SIL= enabler
I’m over 1,500 mi away.
I read one e mail and knew !
Paranoid
I knew I’d never stick a needle in my arm period.
Idk
I’ve learned more in this video
Nobody told me !!
Thank you so much for this video. I clicked right away because I have dealt with this in my personal life and almost daily as a counselor. It’s crazy making. I think I need to do better with confronting the dishonesty. Ugh freaking Prochaskas Stages of Change 😅
You are awesome for your work as a counselor. I have so much respect for what you must go through with clients. Yes. Crazy-making!! When you just want to help! I’m so glad you pointed out the Transtheoretical model (stages of change). I’m reading all about it right now. This is exactly what I needed to read right now! Thank you thank you ❤❤
I have some relatives who have addiction. I feel for you
11:45 But... even knowing deep down in your body and soul that it wasn’t your fault that person passed away and there was absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent it from happening, it doesn’t matter. Even now, after 11 years have passed, I still carry and do feel that horrible guilt. For me, there is just no getting passed it, there is just learning to live with it for the rest of my life and it will always be a part of who I am. On really bad days, I let myself have a good cry session if needed, then I take time to cope, adjust and move on with my day the best I can.
Deeply traumatic. I’m sorry
Another beautifuly clear eyed video.
They say " know your enemy."
Active addiction is the enemy. Anyone who has lived with it sees the warning signs miles away.
Regards 🙏🙂
He was so mean. He was fired for stealing cable from AT&T.. his employer over 100,000 in scrap
Idk why he started
I am so full of rage still
He left me holding the bag
I’m sober he gave in and just fell asleep!
I guess u have to have someone or something to want to live for
Yep rehab & jail didn’t work
Since you recognized the signs, did you warn him, even though you know he has to want to change?
When ur in addiction do u actually realise the people u hang around who are on drugs aren’t really there for you? Do u know if they really cared they wouldn’t watch u use drugs and help u get the drugs? Why do they blame others especially the loved one who doesn’t use drugs?
I know right! Nobody I used to use drugs with are there anymore (unless they are also no longer on drugs). We take it out on the people who are trying to look out for us. It is so painful for everyone who loves you. It's a horrible situation to be in and to have to deal with. I appreciate your comment. You are so right.
@@SmilesforMiles2024 you are doing great
@@SmilesforMiles2024 do u love anyone when in active addiction? So much I’ve read you don’t feel connection to others etc.
@@SmilesforMiles2024 It's killing our whole family. A death would be easier than not knowing if he is OK and waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's been almost five years of hell on earth. I'm no longer the person I was before my family member was in addiction. I have no joy anymore. No matter how much counseling I have nothing is helping me feel safe and OK. No group meetings give me comfort. I just want him to be sober and in recovery.
@@lenorepaletta9267listen take it from someone who’s been there NEVER say death will be easier cause it’s not it just leaves more anger and questions and “what ifs” it’s been almost 9 years since I lost my loved one to addiction and you think it’ll be easier but it’s definitely not and guess what you’ll definitely never be the same after they pass
If your friend is suffering from addiction, paint your face in the color of black, and we all know what to do
Take him to rehab and hopefully get a new guitar
Lol