Is KRISTOFF the PERFECT MAN? Relationship Therapist talks FROZEN 2
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.ค. 2024
- In Frozen 2, Kristoff is able to set aside his needs during Anna’s moment of crisis and be there for her. This is an amazing demonstration of Shelving Your Agenda - a conflict resolution technique often taught by relationship therapists.
Licensed Therapist Jonathan Decker breaks down what it means to shelve your agenda, how Kristoff does this - even after feeling rejected and Lost in the Woods (complete with awesome power ballad to express his emotions), and what we can learn from it.
Jonathan also says Kristoff might be the perfect man. Alan agrees, based solely on the similarity of their hair styles.
Check out our other videos about Frozen:
Psychology of a Hero: Anna • Psychology of a Hero: ...
Psychology of a Hero: Elsa • Therapist Reacts to EL...
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Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker and Alan Seawright
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Kristof saying "my love is not fragile" Reminds me of the second date that never was in my life. I had just reunited with an old guy friend and we hit it off immediately. We made plans for a real second date but it was cancelled due to an extreme blizzard. I was crushed and told him my disappointment thinking to myself he wouldn't reschedule (many past hurts from other guys). He replied, "What did you think this was a one time thing? We'll see each other again." I was like the Grinch that day. My heart grew 10x bigger. And guess what? I married him. We're on year 10.
my heart just burst from your adorable story thank you I am going to lie down now lol
Congrats!
Thanks for sharing this lovely story! 💖💖💖
Awww that's so sweet! 😍
WHAT?! This comment makes me so happy
The fact that the perfect guy was raised by a bunch of rocks says a lot about Disney’s portrayal of parents.
Underrated comment. 😂
Not all good men are raised by good parents
@@sydneyd2094 we're not discussing that here.
@@sydneyd2094 just saying, as a stepmom I believe Disney's portrayal of parental figures is lame in the best cases.
I agree. They do have some good father figures but usually they aren’t actually the father.
That is often realistic but it would be nice to see more healthy parental relationships. There are some but there could be more
"you can't disagree with emotions" well let me introduce you to my mother
Oh man. I feel that.
Sameeee
this is why I go to therapy
@@Raven-Jomi same lmao
Yep. Accurate.
I actually really appreciate Kristoff saying "I'm not really comfortable with that." He is gently but firmly expressing a boundary! Sven and his wagon are basically everything he has (not to mention his best friend/pet), and he's not comfortable with the idea of Elsa taking them. But he /is/ comfortable with it when he is there as well.
Yeah I feel like they misinterpreted that
Same
plus the way she said it was a little concerning lmao
Yes! Healthy Compromise for the win
Especially given he looks at his pet like family and Elsa made it sound like she may not return him lol
TURE
I mean, he was raised by the "relationship experts"
Lmao, I didn't remember that but your so right!
Best comment here! 😂
Thank you
Sorry, could you explain?
@@adri-bee1268 in the first movie, he refers to the trolls that raised him as the relationship experts
@@magpie322 ah :D cool! I also want to be raised by ones! :)
"You can't disagree with an emotion"
My mom begs to differ
My dad too
lol do we have the same mom?
My older sister too. “You’re just CHOOSING to feel that way about it, you can change how you feel about stuff like that!”
@@Charlie-hl7jr my mom is always like "Stop lying! You aren't sad!"
We all have terrible parents.
I gasped out loud in the theater at “I’m here. What do you need?”. After 25 years of watching movies, I’ve grown up with men “coming to the rescue” and saying things like “I’ve got this, stand back” my entire life. These things were said to women who didn’t need any help (usually until that very moment) by men who were always the main love interest. This “stand back, a man is here to handle the tough stuff, so you don’t have to worry” attitude was normal, even if you didn’t like it. To hear a male love interest tell his female love interest that he’ll follow her lead because she obviously has a plan and he just wants to help her succeed? It was eye-opening. I’m so happy children are growing up with this sort of love interest instead of the shut-up-and-kiss-me ones I did.
Meh. Literally his entire character is just being Anna's love interest. Not that great.
@@grinko1222 That’s okay. We don’t have to have had the same reaction or experience 👍
@@grinko1222 aaaand being Sven's best friend
@@grinko1222 Honestly, after a lifetime of movies where the female character literally just exists to be the man's love interest, I'm not so bothered by a single movie that does the opposite.
@@YuniX2 Fine, but still awful writing. Turns out these writers haven't learned a damn thing when it comes to writing male characters.
FINALLY someone who appreciates Kristoff as a character! I've always seen people praising Eugene or Naveen, even Hans for some reason, but people hardly recognize Kristoff as a worthy character. I liked him from the first movie itself. He was the voice of reason to Anna's impulsive and kinda stupid nature. He was pissed at her the first time, but he admired the drive in her and also respected her privacy. Even though Elsa was dangerous, he let Anna go to her alone and only came to her rescue after the fight. Obviously, that didn't benefit Anna, but he did what was right. He also respects the fact that she already loves someone, even though he has feelings for her too. I felt like it was a bit weird that Anna immediately turned to Kristoff and accepted him after realizing Hans was a dick. But the second time I watched it, we see throughout the movie that Anna did show signs of liking Kristoff more, being more at home with him and even questioning the fact that she doesn't know Hans as well.
Frozen 2 is one of my least favorite movies, but Kristoff is the only factor that I really liked in it. Anna's and Elsa's sibling dynamic isn't really that good and the whole family history was kinda boring to me. Kristoff was the only sane man in crazytown. He's a perfect example of a man who doesn't live by toxic masculine standards.
It seems that Anna is the "toxic" person in the relationship.
@@hermiliocarvalhojr.7208 Yeah, it does really seem like that. She's way too preoccupied with her sister.
I - what, people praised HANS??!?!!
@@OJorEm rather than praise, they simp for him and also shipped him with Elsa for some reason
Like I don't understand what goes on in these people's heads lmao
@@skyhideaway She's toxic because she's worried about her sister, whose going on some dangerous, epic journey full of magic and elementals? What?? Of course she's preoccupied with her sister lol
"what do you need?" "My love is not fragile". Swoon! Kristoff might just be my fave Disney love interest ever!
Totally. We're right there with you.
Second to Flynn Rider but a very close second💜💜
There's also a moment in the tie-in book for the first movie, when he thinks Anna is in love with Hans, where Kristoff thinks to himself, "Real love wouldn't be asking her to choose." He prioritized Anna's needs even when they had only spent a little bit of time together and he had a crush on her. Her happiness has ALWAYS come first for him.
@@neelsbhat7482 Eh okay like Flynn is a nicely developed character but he still emotionally manipulated Rapunzel and flirted with her when she was underage.
He also purposely put her through situations she knew she’d be terrified in just to gain something from it.
Again I love his character cause he grows but Kristoff definitely wins in my book!
@@morganrakes4184 Have you watched Tangled - The Series, though? I agree that in the movie, he does that since his agenda doesn't line up with Rapunzel's, but A) Rapunzel isn't entirely blameless in this and B) he _changes._
And if you watch their relationship unfold in TTS it's just... mindblowing. They're not flawless, neither of them, but there's no forced drama, they grow from their mistakes, and you just _feel_ how much they love each other, how happy with and supportive of each other they are, and it's soooooo amazing! Especially considering the literary hellscape the romance genre is these days, seeing such a healthy relationship is just about the best thing ever. 100/10, would recommend!
"My love is not fragile" Man, I don't remember that line from the movie but given this new context it's so AMAZING 🥺
So, so good.
Thank you so much!
i know right!
Absolutely❤️
For me is the :"I'm here, what do you need?" ❤️ I already thought he was the cutest with the first movie, but that line just made him one of my top 10!
I love Anna’s line when Elsa is refusing to let her come.
“Excuse me I climbed the north mountain, survived a frozen heart, and saved you from my ex boyfriend, and I did that all without powers. So, you know, I’m coming.”
Definitely a pretty kickass line
Love how Elsa the whole time has fhe body language of "yeah but..... okay, yeah..... yeah, you know what fair point "
You know what? I'm sorry these people are using your poor comment to fight about "who has it worse". It's not fun! I definitely agree with what you said, I loved that line! It was amazing and it instantly endeared me more to Anna.
But anyways, to the others, can't we just agree that both genders have unfair amounts of pressure on them? With women it shows more because we're louder about it, as we should be, but men have it pretty badly too, you know? People don't let each other feel things and they're constantly competing on who has it worse, when can't we just say this isn't fair to anyone?
@@Absoleiwrong comment bud
I love that they gave Kristoff a normaly-it-would-have-been-a-girl-singing-this-song song! It shows that boys and men can very well feel emotions and be vulnerable AND comfortable with that. It does so much for the perceiption of men in general. We deserve a fully mature and emotionally available man in our lives (or partner in general). I'm settling for nothing less.
Unfortunately that will require that men get treated like human beings first, which will never be allowed to happen
@@satisfiedconsumer649 unfortunately that will require
that ALL WOMEN get to be
treated as feeling living breathing human beings first which will never be allowed to happen MEN already have that since like FOREVER AGES AGO
Both of the responses really show whats wrong with Society.
@@guilhermelisboa1857 Then why don't you go do something about it?
@@monabohamad2242 If you are going to go Disney Princess vs Prince, even the worst written Princess has more personality than any prince. The prince is there to kiss the girl and get married. Wow. Riveting. Or boring.
The Princess gets the movie named after her, the entire story is completely about her, she gets an arch, all of the creatures of the Earth adore her, and she gets a song where she expresses her inner most thoughts.
So what were you saying again about how men get treated more like human beings? How about you get your facts straight before you post something as off as this.
This reminds me of something I saw on reddit that my boyfriend and I are trying to implement. It's where one of you is upset or going through something and the other will ask, "Do you need help fixing it or do you just need me to listen."
That's actually a really good idea. I have issues communicating with my dad and most of it stems from one of us offering suggestions to help when the other just wanted to get it off their chest. As a result, the first person now doesn't feel heard because their suggestions were put aside.
I think if we threw in that question at some point it would set the tone for the entire conversation.
This question reminded me of a parenting tip I've read(not word for word) "do you want to talk or do you need a hug?"
It helps the child know and be aware that it is okay to be sad, need a hug, not everything needs that quick fix or bring told to stop crying and work through things at that moment (I think it might have been sad or hurt? And if they are sad you give them a hug)
Yes! I had a talk with my bf on how I felt he was always trying to fix my problems and he started asking that question too. I often say, “just listen to me complain and be here for me”.
In fact, that's related to "I'm here, what do you need?" When someone is in distress, I've learned to ask "What can I do to make you feel better?". That can be anything from listening to getting them some hot cocoa or helping them make a strategy to solve the problem.
Another good example of this is the Parks & Rec episode where Chris Traeger stops trying to solve all of Anne's complaints and just learns to empathize.
I'm not attracted to Kristoff but hearing "I'm here, what do you need?" In the theater was SO sexy. I appreciate this video
Reliability is considered an attractive trait bc it ensures the survival of those under the reliable person's care.
“Yeah, science!”
YES!
Lmao why would u be attracted to an animated character? That’s like me saying yeah I gotta crush on the hulk
@@moonknight4053 lmao it's not impossible to get attracted to animated character
I love how you're better at being my therapist than my actual therapist lmao
Lol. Thank you!
Ikr? Same
Kristoff and Eugene are the best Disney "princes" and you will never be able to change my mind about that.
Well Eugene was invented by women and Kristoff was played by Jon Groff so…not shocking
@@Book_Dragon2562 Ah yes because the gender of Eugene's creators is absolutely the determining factor in the quality of his writing....
Because they are not
@@goji253 No, but women are much more in tune with what women fantasize about than men are. Therefore, it’s not surprising most women hold Eugene/Flynn above many of the other Disney princes.
He also had more development than most get because of the series AND he’s a modern prince therefore he fits all the current ideals of manhood as opposed to characters from previous generations trying to appeal to todays society.
Same with Kristoff actually.
So yes, that matters.
They’re not princes but Phoebus from The Hunch of Notre Dame (as well as Quasimodo), and Hercules are up there too.
Moral of the story:
Trolls are excellent parental figures to men and they raise healthy males (at least in this reality).
😂
Behind all that singing and calling there son smelly are really great parents.
Lol!
Thanks for the compliment on my parenting!
Males... but they terrified the heck out of Elsa. So clearly they're not as good with daughters. XD
Kristoff's "I'm not comfortable with that" is even perfect in its own right. He's not saying "No" he's not saying "That's not a good idea". He's saying, "I don't feel right about this." The funny me says he doesn't want Sven going into danger without him. The serious part says, "I'm not comfortable with you facing this alone". So when Ana voices the same thing, essentially, he's able to step forward and say "I'll Drive" without wholly overriding Elsa's wishes; rather he's supporting Ana's proposal.
*Anna
I statement:)
Hey - he grew up with Sven; not wanting him to go into danger without him is perfectly reasonable.
Also; does Elsa know how to drive a cart? I wouldn't be too comfortable lending my car to someone when I've never seen them drive. Neither Kristoff nor myself would be too keen on losing a sister-in-law to a car/cart crash.
@@18Hongo no argument at all. It’s not that I felt wrong with Kristoff expressing his feelings and concerns; if anything I felt he was spot on. Yes, he’s worried for Sven, but he also knows that individuals have to make their own decisions.
@@lokiisbestantihero spellcheck recognizes both as correct and the author was posting at night. Thank you for the polite acknowledgment. 😄
Honestly was so happy there was finally a love interest for a Disney Princess who wasn't problematic in some way, shape or form. Kristoff has his own business, he may be quirky and socially awkward but he wasn't previously some kind of criminal, he has actual feelings and a personality AND he puts Anna first without being a complete doormat. Literal first time Disney got a man right for a completely relatable Princess and they've had like what? 80 years of these things??
Tiana and Naveen are really cute imo.
No he's a doormat
Eugene has feelings and emotions too, it wasn't his fault his parents abandoned him as a kid and he had to resort to criminality.
The timing of Jonathan saying "you need to be careful your perceptions don't become your reality" at 05:19 literally exactly when we see Kristoff's perspective of Sven actually talking/singing sure was hilarious
Lol I caught that too!
Kristoff won for me in the first Frozen by being the ONLY disney man in history to ASK PERMISSION to kiss the heroine.
Unlike the Sleeping Beauty and Snow White princes who kissed sleeping girls, smh
@@ninavinterova9875 Ikr like what happened to consent...? You're not meant to kiss or touch anyone when you can't actually ask them :O
@@ninavinterova9875 I agree in Snow White's case. The prince basically kissed a corpse surrounded by dwarfs in the woods without any good reason at all. In sleeping beauty it was well established that he had to kiss her to save her and the rest of the kingdom. And I would rather be kissed by someone I met once without my consent, than stay unconscious for the rest of my life.
@@Nexils True
@Dee’s World Haven't seen
He even is the first disney guy to "ask" if it was ok to kiss her. He is a great exemple to show how we all should act went starting relationship. First kiss should be asks for...not forced or by surprised.
@@aki9059 at first asking is fine, but if you have to ask every. single. time. Something isn't right, something isn't clicking, the trust isn't there anymore, or maybe it hasn't been from the start.
although in this case, it was asking for the first kiss, which is fine and shows you care for their input and opinion on the matter.
@@aki9059 it wasn't? My bad, haven't watched the film in a hot minute.
Either way consent for a simple kiss show respect during the first stages but restraint and distance later on, and that's what I tried to say :P
@@aki9059 it was their first kiss in the first frozen. Trust me, I'm a frozen expert (really I'm just a mom with a two year old who loves frozen)
My point was that CONSENT is really important in a relationship and this validation, either by the body language or by words of the other party, applies to the whole relationship duration ...even if after 1 , 3 or even 13 years, if i'm in a bad mood, my partner will ASK if he can hug or kiss me.
@@guylainelaroche6391 wtf...
There is actually a song called "Gonna Get This Right" that was cut about Kristoff being so nervous about the proposal that Anna actually ended up being the one who proposed! It's a banger and super cute.
I love this review. I just wanted to point out, which I’m sure has already been pointed out, that Anna’s misunderstanding of Kristof in the first proposal was actually her being triggered by traumatic or distressing events from her past. I don’t think it’s that she was being deliberately obtuse or legitimately misunderstanding, but given that she is in panic mode about her sister it would make sense that she would pick up on these words and panic.
This is the one problem I have with Kristoff. The ONE single problem, everything else is perfect.
His girlfriend's sister is gong through a crisis, and by extension his girlfriend is going through a crisis. Do you REALLY think that NOW is the time to propose? Or maybe wait a bit until this situation is resolved?
@@jadecoolness101 I mean, in his defence, he was raised by rocks who tried to make them marry each other when Anna was dying lmao
@@Hileavemealone True... But you'd think after dating her for a while he'd gain some common sense lol
If I recall right, every single one of his proposal attempts save the last one was directly encouraged by an outside person or force. The only time he didn't bring up the proposal, when he shelved his agenda, is when there was nothing influencing his interaction with Anna and the state of the situation.
Context-wise, it makes sense. He's accustomed to being surrounded by a big family constantly giving him direction and meddling in his choices and his life. If the story was centered on his arc and his story, I can easily imagine it being something along the lines of learning to trust his own judgement over others and standing by that decision.
@@brianna6377 I LOVE and agree with that interpretation/take-away. I noticed the same. He's a good boy trying to be a good boy and just a little too trusting of others' influences over his own decisions, and i can 100% relate.
It's sad that some people would dismiss Kristoff as a beta, cuck, or "soy boy" just cuz he's supportive
No it’s because he’s supportive and Anna doesn’t seem to care. He’s does selfless acts of love that go unreciprocated. Anna doesn’t deserve him.
@@dippitydoppitydoo did you seriously not watch the video at all??
@@dippitydoppitydoo the video is just 15 minutes long yet you can't even watch it entirely?
this ppl are sad
@@matheussanthiago9685
I don't understand what you mean...
I know this is about Kristoph and how he asked Anna permission to kiss her. I would also like to point out that in tangled, Rapunzel was the first Disney princess to kiss the guy first. Eugene never tried to kiss her, that was all Rapunzel and that’s awesome too.
so it´s ok if a girl kisses you without checking concent... ok good to know feminism can be comfusing sometimes..
@@hypnotherapy69 I literally never said that. Consent is important. How is appropriating that a Disney princess kissed a guy first feminist?? Are you just trying to start something?
Shame she didn't ask Eugene for his permission, am I right?
@@hypnotherapy69 they obviously were generating a relationship in tangled before she kissed him so no you don’t just kiss anyone male female etc without having that before hand or consent
@Taelin Cusic they were showing interest in each other before she kissed him during that scene and before body language is also important
Kristioph was raised by the trolls who were said to be “love experts”. As love experts, they give him and Anna some great hidden advice in the song “Fixer Upper”. I like the bit,”People make bad choices when they’re mad or sad or scared or stressed; throw a little love their way and you’ll bring out their best.” ❤
I am a lady who is into ladies but when I saw in the theater Kristoff asking Anna "I'm here. What do you need?", I swooned and started questioning my attractions. 🙌
I feel that 😂
I hate how even in today's society people shame men for showing the slightest amount of genuine care and respect for women and choose to call them a simp. Being called a simp isn't really a compliment, but it shouldn't be a negative thing. It's honestly a term that shouldn't exist because then people start to mistake what it means to be genuinely kind and caring as a man. It's like how any man who shows any characteristic of femininity is considered to be less of a "man". Feminity should not be viewed as a negative thing. It is just as powerful and important as masculinity.
♥️
The worst thing is some "simp"/ nice guy behavior is terrible and self fulfilling/disingenuous, the simp acronym itself still puts blame on the woman.
@@srfrancium9728 i don't get the whole man of culture thing that boys say, really dont. so some call men simp for being.. a nice gentleman? their calling a man a simp because he treats women right? their calling a man a simp.. for not being a douchebag? SJSKSKKSKSDJKKDSKDK i don't get boys
@@ukiyo2616 They considered it that cause they think those type of men are trying to hard to win a woman's affection when they have no chance what so ever. Kinda dumb but hey guess I'm a simp too just for being raised with something most guys that use that term.. Don't have Something called Manners
If my man is called a simp i'll reply, "Well, he is a simp. A Gentleman simp. He's strong and respectful and I love him"
Kristoff is an underrated character because he is overshadowed by the larger than life Anna and Elsa. Frozen is such a big female empowerment film that you forget that Kristolf is a bad ass in his own right.
This also reminds me that people overly shadow the good people and the ones that went trough a lot in real life. I am such a person and ive noticed that people ,if they see you okay on the outside they wont check on you cause 'youre fine',but if you show your emotions they will say 'youre faking it'
Um no. He’s a favorite.
@@new_levi true
so true that many men think theyre automatically right so it's great to see that men can be supportive
what. hes an icon in the frozen fandom
7:32 this is the best balloon sound effect i've ever heard a human make
Hahaha. Yes! I have a talent!
"who are you"
Alan: *has an existensial crises*
10/10 therapist
"I'm here; what do you need?" Can you imagine if everybody had that attitude toward their significant others? It would revolutionize relationships.
Just in general relationships would make life better.
Yeah because people have big bad egos.
I'm grateful my bestfriend is 🥰
Then do it, what's so hard about it? You too busy being a wicked cynic with depression?
@@TheEbonyWarrior Who are you talking to? No one is being a Cynic
"I can disagree with you words, I can disagree with your thinking, and I can disagree with your behavior but there is really no way to disagree with an emotion because an emotion is just is."
More people need to hear this.
My mom
LOUDER
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE AT THE BACK!
@@paulanthonycordova1724 Ight, I’m not the person that commented, but here ya go:
*”I CAN DISAGREE WITH YOUR WORDS, I CAN DISAGREE WITH YOUR BEHAVIOR, BUT THERE IS REALLY NO WAY TO DISAGREE WITH AN EMTION, BECAUSE AN EMOTION JUST IS.”*
6:54
Can you please discuss Rapunzel and Eugene’s relationship in the animated series? It was done so well!
Eugene, to me, is the best Disney male protagonist, period.
I agree. Especially with the animated series, it shows such a good relationship, lessons learned to understand each other, and support/belief in each other. I think it is one of the most consistantly full relationships in disney.
Agreed!
I couldn’t agree more! They allowed him to be so thoughtful and supportive, expressive of emotions and devoted. He’s the GOAT of Disney men.
I never expected to find it in a children's movie, but "my love is not fragile", to me, is the most romantic line from any movie I've seen. I'm not a romantic person, but that line flawed me.
My jaw literally dropped when I heard Kristoff say "I'm here. What do you need?" That was the first time I've heard such a thing in a movie. Generally any other time a woman is rushing to accomplish something extremely important and time sensitive her significant other is only there to delay her or suggest she is losing her marbles due to stress, reguardless or whether or not that stress is great or relatively minor.
SO TRUEE
I think that's sometimes (possibly often) played as a criticism of these men acting like that, and then it's assumed the audience will pick up on that. But I think showing the better example is way superior.
same!!! I was just so pleasantly surprised because it feels like something like that said by a man coming to their partner's aid is always coupled along the lines of "what happened?1?! i need explanation so that i know im helping for the right thing" insteas of trusting their partner in their very time of need.
That's literally a lie.
@@mariadocarmosobreira8323 What is a lie?
Great analysis! When I watched the movie, my favorite part was also when Kristoff says "I'm here, what do you need."
Me too!
Kristoff is awesome.
I know! That statement alone stuck out so much. Every man should be like this.
The movie was emotional alright, but that line made me cry so hard.
Kinda wanna see them react to “get this right” that was pulled from the movie - feel like it’s the perfect song to describe their relationship
"you feel what you feel, and your feelings are real" -Sven the therapist
This is my favorite episode. This is the second time i've watched it and it has certainly helped me be a better communicator. When I first watched Frozen 2, I paused it at "i'm here, what do you need" and turned to my girlfriend and was like did you hear that? If i was in the theater with Jonathan i would have high fived him. Even though i had never heard the term "shelving your agenda."
About the first scene, I may be wrong, but when I was watching the movie I thought that Kristoff meant he was uncomfortable with the idea of leaving Elsa in charge of Sven
I hadn't read it that way, but you might be right. Layers. It's got layers!
Honestly, I thought he just meant he was uncomfortable with the idea of her going alone period.
@@CinemaTherapyShow Like onions.
And cake. ._.
@@ABagelLeftOnTheRoadside and ogres
I thought it was more to do with being in charge of his sled - considering the last time that he wasn't in control of it, it got thrown off a cliff and burst into flames at the bottom, resulting in it being replaced. It's understandable that he wouldn't want that to happen again.
"My love is not fragile" is the best line ever uttered by a Disney love interest. It's really interesting because if you read the tie-in book A Frozen Heart, Hans is great at imitating what people need, and he understands from Anna's behavior and background that she needs a good listener and someone who cares, but it's just a means to an end. It's a way to get closer to the crown, and he finds it obnoxious to continue to feign interest in what she likes and exhausting to try to balance acting in a way that appeals to her and to the other royal delegates present. Kristoff finds it frustrating, but it's genuine and his reasons for trying to be supportive are based in real love rather than in getting to the crown, it's something he keeps going at, and he remains 100% there for Anna throughout the whole movie. Meanwhile Hans, who was just trying to be whatever it took to get her to marry him, immediately bails on her when she needs him and it would serve his goal better to just leave her to die.
The really clever thing is that the tie-in books uses the same line, repeatedly, for Hans and Kristoff's internal monologues: "Anna needs me." But when Hans thinks it, he thinks of it as a weakness on her part and a thing he can exploit. When Kristoff thinks it, he immediately goes to 'so how do I help her?' Same thought, wildly different intentions.
Kinda wish the first movie showed more of that side of Hans
A simp is someone who is TOO nice for their own good. There is a difference between being nice and being a pushover. A simp is someone who allows themselves to be taken advantage of. Kindness needs to be tempered with self-respect.
This is my understanding of the term ‘Simp’, don’t take my word as gospel, though.
1) Simp in its original context:
The term was based around obsession, loneliness, and para-social interactions.
Its used to describe love-starved men growing attached to female streamers, or at least their digital personas.
It was about men constructing this delusion that, if they donate enough money, then they may somehow form a romantic relationship with this woman that doesn’t even know of their existence.
2) Simps second definition:
The first mutation of ‘Simp’ was used to describe spineless men that let people walk all over them, typically women; and especially women they had feelings for.
3) How Simp is currently used:
Its used on men that show any kindness to women - heck, not even kindness, just positive interaction with women as a whole.
Simp has become such a buzzword at this point - its lost all meaning and importance.
THAT'S IT
@@jordanfleming7022 the last two part of your comment *chef kiss*
I discovered your channel randomly and I felt like your channel fixed things in my brain I din't even know were broken! Thank you so much for being vulnerable and helpful out there. You've touched me and I hope you more positive recognition that you deserve!
Happy to help!
The stuff about Kristoff not knowing if Anna is as invested as he is really hits close to home. I'm going through the same thing with my girlfriend right now. I've been going through a lot since we've been together, and she's great, but I haven't felt like I had a right(?) to tell her my emotional needs, especially now. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and depression, going to therapy and gonna get my meds sometime next January. It's been really hard, and a LOT of work trying to break out of bad habits and grow more as a person (these videos have actually helped TREMENDOUSLY, I can never thank you guys enough), but I've always been left to work through these kind of things myself. Last week I tried to explain how adhd affected me and why I wanted treatment, and it ended in my dad screaming at me and me crying in my room the rest of the night. I also feel like "damn, she didn't sign up for this, this is unfair to her." Were trying to work through it currently, I'll be back with an update.
I'm sorry that you are going through this. Me personally the best thing to do, (you don't have to listen) is to be able to communicate with her. With the stuff with your dad, don't feel bad for that. Your right she didn't sign up for this but you cannot change it, so talk with her about it. Express your feelings on how it makes you feel and how it makes her feel, even lead the conversation to "What should I do differently to not let this happen again". I think you both should ask each other what you guys can do differently in a more bad situation. As I have mentioned before simply share both of your feelings, then help each other get better and grow as a couple. This is just my intake of your situation. I hope you get better!
@@emersongonzales4298 I agree, you don't have to feel guilty over something that you had no choice in. I hope that you get in a better place.
With the adhd at the very least unless you were doing a lot of masking, in which case that will need to be addressed for your mental health, she probably did sign up for it. She is with you not out of blood or obligation and if you’ve been genuine with her then she may just take it as you being you. Absolutely tell her because it can help avoid future misunderstandings but I’m not sure she didn’t sign up for that. As for the depression I get that people tend to be better at hiding that one typically but it’s not a personality deficit it’s a struggle you have. Whether or not she is in a place emotionally, mentally, and maturity wise to deal I can’t really say but it’s no more in your control than a cancer diagnosis. There are treatments for depression and treatments for cancer. As someone who has worked with a lot of oncology patients neither is perfect and neither guarantees 100% success. Relapses can occur but if you keep on top of looking out for signs of it reoccurring you’re in a better position to treat it again. Not perfect analogies so take them worth a grain of salt but if it’s the right relationship then telling them will improve things not diminish them.
Disney's perfect man is David from Lilo & Stitch.
He and Kristoff are the best. They both know their girls are complicated and dealing with hard stuff, but love them anyway. The attraction goes deeper than love at first sight.
This scene gets me everytime haha
Lilo: She likes your butt and thinks your hair is fancy.
David: she thinks it's fancy?
HAHAHAHA
Omg yesssssss
David is a national treasure. Everyone deserves a David in their life.
Naveen also is in the top tier of Disney men
My favorite thing about the "I'll drive" moment is that not only does he support the other characters needs but, since we previously heard him say that he's not comfortable with Elsa taking the wagon alone, he also does this whilst respecting his own boundaries
SAMEEEE
Agreed, he did answer both situations very respectfully.
My wife and I talk through all of our arguments that way, each taking points to home and hearing each other. Healthiest damn relationship of our lives.
This is perfect. It makes the audience know that men's feelings are existent. It shows the times where you need to step back and not just "do what you think is right," without EMPATHETICALLY understanding first. Love the movie, love the analysis.
"...she's so preoccupied about keeping her sister safe that she's not really paying attention to Kristoff and his needs or Kristoff and their relationship. She takes it for granted that they're solid and that they're gonna be okay..."
I literally did this exact same thing a few months ago. My sister was in a crisis situation, and so of course I left home to be where I needed to be. But I completely underestimated how it would affect my husband. Although he was completely understanding of the situation, I failed to acknowledge his own suffering. He shelved his own problems for me, and I had no idea he had done so until I came back home and he finally felt comfortable letting me know, after the crisis had been dealt with.
this brings to mind what a psychology professor taught me once--women tend to feel a bit more secure in their relationships (when it's healthy anyways) and so when a crisis comes that definitely takes precedence for us and we just assume that the relationship is okay. but men tend to need more validation, ESPECIALLY when external situations are hard. I've done this myself with my boyfriend. I get preoccupied with school or family or my depression but forget that HE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT EVERYTHING IS OKAY, with us, with me, and with whatever I'm dealing with.
@@rosekopelowitz5069 How do you let him know that?
You don’t deserve your husband.
@@DreamQuillRose well I'm human of course so sometimes i forget, but it's usually just a quick text saying that i love him, and sometimes we just talk and I tell him that things are hard but I still care...at first it was harder for him to understand, but now that he knows me and my personality a bit better, it doesn't take much to let him know how I feel.
@@rosekopelowitz5069 Interesting. I have always been under the impression that women are the ones who are more insecure about their relationships, probably because men are more likely to cheat or have an affair. After considering what you said, maybe one reason they cheat is because of THEIR insecurity? I keep remembering Billy Joel's song "Tell Her About It."
"Shelving your agenda" is something I first noticed in the first "Divergent" book. The fraction Tris was from had this tradition: they took turns listening. It was kinda cool. One time Tris's mom comes to visit her in a new fraction and she says: "I have a gift for you today. My gift is that I will be only listening and talking about how YOU are doing". That was the first time I actually thought of it as a real gift, which it really is.
So true. Great example! I've seen the films, but not read the books. Sounds like it's worth it.
@@CinemaTherapyShow , yes, the movie became like a chick-flick joke, but the book is actually pretty good.
@@CinemaTherapyShow The first book is great, I reread it all the time. The second and third suck in my opinion, but that's just me. I know people who love them.
@@lindseysquire8417 yh, you're right. i remember the 1st book being great, interesting plot, cool relationship. then the second and third book were just an absolute pain to get through, especially the 3rd. it took me AGES to finish it and the ending was trash
@@faithanwuri379 don't remind me of the ending please...
7:45 this entire idea is why I realized my relationship was abusive, because even though I did admit to my wrongs and tried my best (from my perspective) to talk it out when it came to something that we could both agree I had done wrong, he was SO focused on making me feel terrible for the things that he thought I had done wrong, that it would escalate to the point where he was screaming at me. I was defending myself as well as I could, but with him telling me that I need to be quiet and stop "yelling" despite the fact that I only spoke in between him yelling at me, it was like a light switch going off in my head. He couldn't admit to his wrongs or stop raising his voice, but accused me of doing the same without even accepting my apology or acknowledging when I took ownership of that. Because in his eyes, he DESERVED that apology so it didn't matter that he's gotten one, but if I expected the same then I was offending him by even insinuating he had done anything wrong. In his eyes, he HADN'T done anything, so he didn't feel the need to apologize or even acknowledge it, and on top of it he felt insulted by my desire for an apology.
I hate the "whipped" thing with guys. My boyfriend is amazing, he's very good at communicating his needs and being considered of my needs. The amount of hate he gets from male friend and family about this is INSANE! If the guys call him to play video games and he askes me if it's Okey (not because he needs to but because he wants to check if we didn't have plans that evening) they call him a pussy and make whipping sounds, such toxic masculinity. I'm so happy he doesn't care and keeps on being an amazing boyfriend 🥰
And then the guys drop it and are happy to spend time with your boyfriend.
You don't understand male to male relationships as well as you think.
I was called whipped by an ex girlfriend, really threw me for a loop a good while there. It's crazy realizing now that I might have been doing something right but for the wrong person.
Marry that guy, don't let him get away! Great guys like that are hard to find!
The idea of shelving your agenda is a great tool and I will implement it in my own relationships. Healthy communication and emotional support for the win!
So glad you found value in it Kat Le! Please come on back and let your loved ones know what we're up to here!
Isn't it an awesome concept?
@@CinemaTherapyShow It really is! I'm so thankful to have found this channel
@@adetaku3145 same
But it only works if everyone involved does it. If it's only one person doing it for someone else, that's must making you subservient and a tool for others to use. Everyone has to do it. Surprised the therapist didn't point this out.
"We have to make sure that our perception doesn't become our reality"
He says that while a reindeer is singing in the background.
I think that was intentional???
That was pretty good, got a good laugh out of that one! thanks! haha
“My love is not fragile”
My jaw literally dropped
"I'm here. What do you need?" is also a completion of his arc with Anna from the first movie where he tells her "I don't trust your judgement!" By the second movie he completely trusts her. You're leading rock giants to the dam? Sounds good, let's go.
To be fair, she was marrying a man she just met. That judgment was piss poor and was proven poor. No one would trust her judgement at first meeting and hearing that. I don’t blame kristoff for not trusting her judgement
In fairness, I think that's more her character arc than his... She became more trustworthy in the second movie when she became a little less naive and kristoff had more reason to trust in her. You can truly trust in any idiot, it's not always a great idea though... Even if they're well meaning.
@@chadhiggins8397 I respectfully disagree. Anna might have become a more trustworthy ruler and sister but as a partner she was severely lacking in this film.
@@Book_Dragon2562 Nothing wrong with being supportive but being Anna's bf is all his character has been reduced too.
not shaming men for being emotionally mature, this definitely should be on the agenda!
Maybe just not shaming men at all?
@@MiaogisTeas, well, I'm rather in favour of aggression-shaming... Not based on gender, just generally.
Just got dumped by a close friend. She barely texted me in the last 3 months. I had said "Our Love is not Fragile" and she turned and used it against me when i said id like a phone call once a month to maintain a friendship. I like how Jonathan talked about emotional shelving and how your emotions DO at some point come off the shelf and Anna's acknowledgement of not paying attention. Its like "Our Love is not Fragile" doesnt give you license to neglect it for months and take my loyalty for granted, my emotions are on a shelf, not stowed away in some underbed bin, forgotten about.
I’ve always believed that when it comes to these movies that Kristoff is really the voice of reason. Especially in the first film where he is often the one who actually thinks like a rational person. He doesn’t just impulsively rush into things like Anna or Olaf, and even though he doesn’t automatically trust others he still has the emotional maturity to help others when they need it and not just isolate himself like Elsa does. Frankly I only wish they used him more in Frozen 2
Kristoff is fantastic, but you should look at David from "Lilo and Stitch"
I feel bad for David half the time... I wouldn't be surprised if he had a weird Habit like Kristoff is he like talking to his Surf Boards, can we just have a Spinoff from David's perspective.
Yeah! He's not only super supportive and there for Nani, but he's actually able to keep track of a small child and her alien 'dog' running through the house *while watching TV!* As Dad said when we saw that episode, "Marry him."
Everyone says Frozen is the first movie about sisterly love but forget about Lilo&Stitch, and like you said David was best boyfriend more than a decade before Kristoff!
@@m.v.gonzalez5575 the movie title is literally Lilo and Stitch, not Lilo and Nina, so... Frozen is still the first Disney movie focus on sister relationship. And Kristoff is miles better than David TBH
@@miamama9886 the movie is about sisterly love though. just because their names arent the title (hello? frozen? that point of yours is completely void) doesnt mean they aren't a focal point.
"I prefer you in leather anyway."
Me sitting next to my mom: Anna no
Hang on I kinda get it but I don't get it completely- could you explain lol
@@desireeparks4930 if you dont know its best not to ask
@@desireeparks4930 I won't go in to detail as this is not the place, but here is the gist. It can be taken as a tongue in cheek reference to a certain sexual subculture, specifically a subculture within BDSM. If you are curious Sex Nerd Sandra's podcast is a safe space learn about subcultures like this. Sorry if this is TMI, I dislike people being told not to ask like the other commenter on here did as there is nothing wrong with asking for clarification if you are curious about something.
Try explaining that to an 8yr. She helped me out because she thought it had somethings, to do with the saddle of a horse. Funny line though!
@@milytorres3034, that's the fun thing: you don't need to try to explain the adult version to kids - he just wears leather for his job, because it keeps him warm. :)
That discussion on the line “my love is not fragile”, really hit home for me. In my last relationship I struggled with making the same little mistake over and over, despite the fact that I did genuinely try to work on myself; and I felt awful for it. Of course I’d apologize to my partner, but they would say “it’s okay, I’m used to it.” And every time they said that, it dug the knife a little deeper and just took the wind out of my sails. It felt like there was no point in trying, because no matter how I tried it wasn’t good enough. Why try when it’s just going to hurt them when I don’t succeed. Why try when they’re used to it.
My partner then was an amazing person, but they had their own flaws. That “catchphrase” of theirs was one of them.
Dang, how do I hire Jonathan for my parents? The whole “shelving your agenda” discussion made SO much sense for a lot of their problems! Well, at least it gave me some language to think about it for my own therapy needs.
No one:
Therapist:
Ah this is it, my favorite part of the movie.
*Clip of Anna about to die*
Same, therapist
No, it's Anna being incredibly heroic and brave. Once again, the unpowered sister saves the day.
I did not expect this comment at all. I’M WHEEZING AHHHHHHH (sorry for caps , just wanna express my surprise)
Relatable
It’s 666 I can’t like
I don’t really like Frozen II that much, but I’ve _got_ to appreciate the way that Kristoff is just unconditionally there for Anna. It’s not something that I remember ever seeing done to this extent by a male character before.
EDIT: Not to mention how, when Elsa wants to take Sven and the wagon into the Enchanted Forest all by herself, his response is a mild "I'm not comfortable with that idea" and his solution is that he'll come along. What I would expect from most male characters in that situation would be something along the lines of "Are you crazy?!" or "Not a chance!" followed by trying to stop Elsa from going. But not Kristoff. He's everything I want to see more of in cinema, but especially movies like this that kids will be seeing.
Im honestly super happy that Disney is starting to implement better male leads into their princess movies. It's such a good start.
@@princevegeta2956 what
Wait until you have a 3 yr old- girl or boy- you'll appreciate it.
Yesss, his way of expressing his boundaries and then coming up with a compromise was something I'm so glad my younger brother could see!
If I ever have a son I hope to teach him that behaviour.
In my opinion the best Disney couple is Eugene and Rapunzel from Tangled since the movie. I love how their relationship was so perfect developed in the Series. They are supportive, loving, forgiving, patient, open and romantic. They're a relationship goal and honestly they are a brilliant healthy relationship model for kids. I really respect Eugene how he changed because he finally found someone who saw goodness in him. He's also an amazing demonstration of Shelving Your Agenda. What's more, Eugene had proposed to Rapunzel many times before she said yes (it lasted about 3 years and his quote from the ending of the movie makes sence, "after years and years asking and asking...") and instead of being angry at her or upset he was patient and supportive. He understood her that she wanted to find herself and got to know the world after these years in the tower before the marriage. It''s shows that sometimes time is needed and it isn't the end of the world if someone isn't ready to say yes yet. They were honest and open each other and that's important.
I think they both didn't know what the real love is before. He was actually a lonely orphan who was lost in the world and did bad things because nobody showed him a bit goodness and that was easier. He even became Flynn Rider (character from his favourite book from childhood) and create his fake reputation to hide insecurities, his real name and character. And she was gashlighting, manipulated and Gothel abused her to make her anxious all the time. So, they changed, she became more self confident and he became real good Eugene and they learnt what love means together and that's beautiful.
Tangled the Series (also like Tangled the movie) isn't a simple show for kids, it deals with different difficult topic and if you're adult you can find more psychological threads.
Kristoff is a perfect example of trying something, realizing now's not the time or it's not going to work, and learning from that. And I think that's a lot more powerful than just being perfect. He's a person doing the best they can, trying to learn and adjust, and that's more realistic. I think it's an important lesson to learn from, and one people should think about more. At least try. If you mess it up, try to make it better. He does both quite well.
My boyfriend is perfect at shelving his agenda and I never realised that before. Gotta go give him a kiss. Thank you :)
Trust me, men love little details like that. I know you women may think it's just a little insignificant thing, but a little kiss or a warm cuddle can make our days ten times better :)
Soon as I finished the video I told mine that I love him ^^
He always says, it's supposed to be normal and he doesn't want me to thank him for every considerate thing he does and he's neverending support, but he is amazing as a partner, no matter how much he denies it
Mine too and I almost always love love love him for it but sometimes when I'm being an unreasonable grump and trying to pick a fight I'm SO angry about it😂🙈
@@Merlijn1994 that reminds me of the scene in httyd three were hiccup is speaking out his annoyance astrid is saying ‘yes your right’ and he asked: are you just going to stand there and agree with everything.
Same, and I've been pretty meh at him, so I feel extra bad now.
Starting to think Jonathan might be in love with Kristoff (and who could blame him?)
Oh, there's definitely an attraction there.
Well, that just shows excellent taste.
At first I thought you were talking about Jonathan Groff (christoff’s va) and I was like yeah makes sense
@@PmpknHead I love me some Groffsauce.
Mmmm king George
Gotta be honest, I have to give it to Flynn (Eugene) Ryder from Tangled - specifically the surprisingly excellent series imho. It's a shame you likely don't have the time to review such a thing, maybe someone can pick out scenes or episodes, but Flynn respected and supported Rapunzel's complicated emotional state - giving her space when she needed it, and a hug when she needed that.
I have my issues with Frozen 2, and felt Kristoff was criminally underused and relegated to Ken doll accessory in this. I felt he had more agency in the first movie.
I remember ranting to all my friends about specifically these scenes for a week after we watched the movie together, the fact that kristoff had all these pressing concerns and his own plans but shoved them to the side because he perceived Anna's needs to be more urgent was just so nice to see and I wasn't expecting it. "My love is not fragile" almost made me cry if I'm being honest, he really is the ideal
“I prefer you in leather anyway.” That just displays that Anna and Kristoff have a healthy sexual relationship as well as an emotional one lol
Why did you have to say that? Why??
I tried not to think of that line in that way, but y, just .......y
@@Cali-P nothing wrong with that.
@@mistertea603 There is something wrong with it! In this case the context😂 It's a children's movie...
@@shishkebab6473 Sure, but children's' movies have been putting adult references in FOR AGES so that the adults who watch the movies with their kids can have something to laugh at too! Nothing wrong with saying 'I see what you did there!'
I mean even in the First movie he was like.. Agreeing With Elsa for Anna's sake even though he never met her about Hans, Was going to give a Snowman a Reality Check, and totally owned the fact he was raised by Trolls that looked like Rocks.
And it's really Night and Day when you put Hans into the picture, like Hans was gaslighting, pushing a personal agenda to get both sisters out of the way...
And Kristoff boom the second he meets Anna, hears about Hans, he is like " Hold up, there is like a shit ton of red flags here. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN LOOKING AT GIRL!!" And If Elsa was like right there she should be like " See I tried Telling her this exact thing, but no no no."
And I am sure as soon as Kristoff and Elsa actually got to relax over everything Elsa probably looked at Anna and probably sounded like the trolls went " YOU WANTED HANS OVER THIS!!!"
OMG YES I LOVE THINKING ABOUT KRISTOFF AND ELSA'S IN-LAWS RELATIONSHIP
@@ananyam9950
Imagine those two having like an hour hangout time every Friday just to unwind and talk about how ridiculous everything is.
I love this idea!
I also have a weird Headcanon that Sven is his Therapist. Which has to be Interesting but it makes me wonder if The Reindeer expanded his services to Elsa.
@@katiearbuckle9017
She sure needs the therapy
Can you do a video on How To Train Your Dragon? Hiccup's arc of finding satisfaction in himself, his skills, and his relationship with Toothless (who is shown to be an equal) when all the people around him were condescending and had little faith in his abilities, could make for an interesting exploration of ostracization, alienation, respect & understanding, and self-actualization.
His relationship with Toothless is also worth talking about, the way they slowly build a friendship on the basis of curiosity, trust and much-needed understanding and respect; as well as its bittersweet ending in the 3rd movie.
The best thing is just watching you guys' healthy friendship!! So healing!
Society needs more of this!!!!
I hurt my friend's feelings earlier. I sent them some messages, and then this came up in my recommended. After the first few minutes of watching, I decided to go back, delete, and edit my messages and try to shelve my agenda. I hope the new version of the message is what'll help us get over this bump sooner and smoother. Thank you for this.
Wow! That’s incredible!! Thank you so much for sharing!
We hope that we’re like, doing some good, but hearing from people who are actually making their lives better is... just the best.
Alan here. Big surprise, I’m tearing up reading this.
The same thing happened to me earlier when the zootopia vid popped up in my recommended. I did a complete 180 and realized I was in the wrong. I really hurt them and I don't think they'll ever forgive me. I just hope finding this channel means I can avoid doing something like it in the future.
@@lady_stog We did! They said that they saw my previous messages, but the final/edited one helped them realize they overreacted, and they apologized to me too. I apologized again and we just went back and forth for a bit and cried haha
@@xoipa1025 yes !! thats so wonderful:)
Dude, I'm getting so much second hand therapy its giving me anxiety just how much I mess up my relationships. I've been on a binge of watching all of the pixar ones and I'm _Bawling_ . Holy crap I'm gonna go fix some stuff over dinner, thanks guys.
Okay real shit. As someone who’s previous relationship was very very abusive, but am now in a healthy loving relationship, I appreciate this so so much. In my last relationship everything was always my fault. The only worry in his mind was how he felt, never how I felt. That led me to a deep dark depression. In my current relationship, he checks every day “are you ok?” He always checks if anything is wrong in my life that was too quite to bring up, and he never talks about himself when I’m upset, only how I’m feeling. He can tell by my face and my voice when somethings wrong and always asks “is there anything I can do to help?”. Parents... please please please teach your children to be respectful of their partners and to be emotionally competent, please.
Thank you for the free "couples therapy." Through this video I picked up on a few self flaws that I need to work on.
My husband is literally like Kristoff, He is so sweet, and is very opened with me. We talk about things that we both need to improve on. He has been the only person that I have met that is like this.
This is how I am but I was often taken advantage of because of it. I was treated as if I was undeserving of respect. It took me years to realize that I was around toxic people and it wasn't my fault. Now I do not allow for people to mistreat me for having a good heart
There will be people that really appreciate that quality in you and will not take advantage of you because of it. Promise
@@awaywithwords6 I needed to hear that :| Thanks
Well you lucked out!
"I'm here, what do you need?"
Panties, dropped
Lol...
Startled lol...
HAHAHAHAGFCAYGAAFGSTDDSS UNDERRATED. CHANGE MY MIND
..WHEEZE
Rofl
STOP OMFG HAHSAHYF
LMFAO FRRRRRR
I had chills when Kristoff said, "I'm here. What do you need?" As a woman with many good men in my life I didn't really realize how rare it was to see this represented in movies until I've seen it, and then only recently. I don't remember the rest of the movie but the first time that comes to mind was the moment when the titular character of mad max handed the gun to Charles theron's character because he knew she was a better shot. Violent movie but the moment was striking for it's rarity. I hope this is a growing trend...
So when my ex and I watched Frozen two, he was so annoyed by the fact that Kristoff didn't ask her "realistic" questions like "what the heck is going on?" and "What is your issue?". I however loved it that Kristoff said "I'm here, what do you need?" during that moment because somedays I need that!
Kristoff is an amazing guy, and I hope to see much more of him if they bring out another movie.
I so remember when in cinema the two sequences - "What do you need?" and "My love is not fragile." - gave me so much warm feelings and I melted into tears. Now I have the exact explanation why. Yes, that is what counts when you really act that way this is what love is about.
Someone tell my mom she can't tell me what emotions I'm feeling.
No, you're cold. Put a jacket on! >:(
@@thechosenone9361 LOL, accurate. Although they sometimes end up more toxic than that.
This
@@thechosenone9361 "Jacket (noun) - garment a child puts on when their mother is cold."
Don't forget the "why are you crying, I'm not even yelling......"
I just love how the message in the first frozen is supposed to be “don’t fall in love with the first guy you meet” and then Anna falls in love with the SECOND guy she ever meets 👌🏽 A1 writing Disney
No the message was “Don’t marry someone you just met”. Veryy different, that’s why it takes two movies for Kristoff and Anna to get engaged
Also they were talking over it and maybe they go back over it (only 5 mins in) but as a daycare worker and just someone who is around children often, a song saying “You feel those feelings, and those feelings are real” I’ve seen so many parents and others downplay the feelings of children and just everyone and it’s amazing. I literally gasped
My girlfriend comparing me to Kristoff was one of the biggest compliments for me.
Especially considering ,she had a couple relationships, which had a significantly negative impact on her , before we started dating, and she's my first and only girlfriend so far. And being not much of a social person, I was more buffoonish than I'm now(well I was almost 20 then , and am 23 now, not the age known for maturity )
Initially I was clueless , and overly conscious, however I tried my best ,doing little stuff like accompanying her to her therapist, offering to listen and just be there , spending quality time with her whenever possible. In a strange but fortunate way, it helped me deal with my own issues too.
And by sheer luck and me not failing miserably, she's still tolerating me , and we're going strong. We've learned a lot from and during our time so far and hopefully we'll learn and grow on.
Well congratulations to both of you and all the best
Wait - she goes to a therapist, she's had multiple negative relationships before you, and she "tolerates" you? And then she compared you to Kristof? 🚩🚩🚩
I hate to break this to you bud, but anyone who merely tolerates you does not have your best interests at heart. I really hope I'm wrong but that's the kind of thing someone with a narcissistic personality issue would say, not because she appreciates how kind you are, but because you're there to supply her with what she needs.
How many other friends do you spend significant time with? Do you see your family often? What's her opinion of them and your friends? Does she text and call you all the time, and freak out if you don't answer? What about your workplace? Does she believe you're too good for them? Where do you live? Does she want you to move out of your place and live with her? Does she check your phone, your drawers, your wardrobe when you're not around? Does she hate things you own that have connections to other people or women in your life?
Please be careful mate.
@@MiaogisTeas thank you for your concern mate. These are all legitimate concerns. I really wholeheartedly appreciate your candour and honest perspective.
In fact my older sister was skeptical at first and shared your concerns (though she didn't tell me immediately until later ), and was on the fence initially. Especially since she is kind of my first girlfriend.
But they got closer as they got to know each other and our relationship progressed.
I'm afraid my description might've been one sided,and misleading.
She does compare me to other fictional characters sometimes, including and often animated ones.
Well tolerate was merely poorly worded on my part. The word tolerate came from me,not her . Our personalities are different but not too different to be incompatible. And I'm in no way ,extraordinarily kind or anything. Just humane I hope. I had an admittedly happier and more sheltered childhood. Yet it takes a lot for me to be vulnerable and open up to anyone , including my family.
She's one of the most wonderful women I've met . And in her own words , her past relationships weren't negative exclusively because of the other person. She admits her own flaws and the times when she and her ex simply grew apart, over/under indulgence in each other , and so. She told me about times she was short tempered and considered herself to be have the larger contribution or lack thereof in the relationship going sour .
Only one of her past relationships could be considered actively abusive according to her and the said therapist.
And we've met each others families. My family loves her and her family loves me.
And I already was in a different country than my parents for college, way before I met her.
However as I said I do visit my family when possible and she does hers, sometimes we go together, other times to our respective homes.
And so far thankfully we have our separate social lives . Since we both are in early stages of our respective careers.
I've plenty of platonic female friends from school and college.
She had heard of all of them who I'm till in touch with. She has even met a few of my school friends, and they get along well.
In fact it was a mutual friend (female) , who invited her to the inter college festival we first met.
And for wardrobe and stuff, pandemic broke out shortly after we moved in. So neither of us have been alone for a long time in our flat.
We don't know each other's password by design .
I talk to my family more often than she does with hers. And so far she's been nothing but supportive, and now that we live together,she talks to them as well, often playfully asking my parents about my childhood ,and joining my older sister in playfully teasing me.
And we're both young and who knows what's next. Both of us would evolve , whether we'll get closer or apart, only time would tell.
So far the impact's been positive. Hopefully it will be so ,and even if it isn't , I'll have learnt valuable lessons regarding life, relationships and adulthood.
@@chavitanwar2126 thanks a ton
@@orionaugustwatson how did you meet her?
I am here for the balloon deflation sound effect... also... that first line of: I'm here, What do you need? is relationship goals
That line is so golden.
"you can't disagree with an emotion." If only my mom understood lmao
I just wanted to say thank you for your incredibly positive, mature, thoughtful presence on TH-cam. I just discovered you guys and honestly feel like I just went through a particularly fulfilling therapy session. Thank you for all the knowledge and support you give everyone!
This is such a thorough and insightful analysis of Kristoff's character! Really well done!
Thank you so much, Dani! Alan and I are truly thrilled that you enjoyed it. Would you consider passing this vid along? We want to reach everyone who'd dig this.
Thanks!
There's actually a scene from this movie that didn't make the cut where instead of Kristoff's song moment, it's a duet between him and Anna where he pours out all his insecurities to her and she comforts him, then *she* proposes to *him*. I need to go find and watch it again.
I totally forgot about that
link it!!!!!!
@@mothmadi_
Here you go!
th-cam.com/video/So7cD9BRmFw/w-d-xo.html
I wish this was in the movie, wow
@@gwenythice7230
I know right? Disney threw away something amazing.
I am genuinely so happy to know I wasn't the only one cheering when Kristoff shows up and just says, "I'm here. What do you need?" Like holy shit that scene absolutely hits me so hard and I love it so much, and the resolution afterwards when he says his love is not fragile is so good. Genuinely, this movie came into my life at a time where I was Kristoff feeling lost in the woods. The writing of his character for this film helped me see my own worth where I was, and helped show me how to keep showing up, and that my love is also not fragile. Eventually, I unshelved the agenda and positive change happened. I still sometimes struggle with those feelings, but having an understanding that the foundation is strong enough that we can work through things and mindfully shelve and explore different agendas is aces. Have confidence in the strength of your love.
3:05 Jonathan really do be going off on the "simp" trend and I'm all here for it
I love seeing these from a mans perspective. Usually you see relationship therapy from women. So, seeing you two be, in a sense, vulnerable and, able to talk about things like this, it's refreshing. Thank you!
"the sweet spot in the middle is: no, my needs matter. my feelings matter. but you're upset. you're afraid, you're angry. i'm gonna come back to what i need. but if you're angry i don't have to be angry...but i can care, and i can be present. and anything that i need, we can deal with later."
wow that really hit home for me. one of the issues i know i have is feeling like focusing on someone else when i also have a need means i'm accidentally communicating to other people that i don't have needs too. and that instead of experiencing reciprocation, i'll just end up with a deficit.
but what you've said here is a great reminder for me-i CAN actually come back to what i need. it's not a deficit, it's just a delay. and to be honest, i can wait.
and with that, you guys now have a new subscriber 💗
Couldn't agree with you more. It's definitely a fear that if you shelve your needs they may never shelve theirs in the future, but that's where two partners each need to learn to be balanced in their approaches to one another. Trust is also the make or break element for a relationship for that kind of balance as well. In my experience if that balance can't be struck and you've really tried to meet their needs and they're not trying to reciprocate at some point, it's good to break it off. It's unhealthy staying in a relationship where you're being always relied upon to sacrifice without getting any respite the other way once in a while.
@@KrystoferDudzinski hmmmm this is good. Thank you for sharing. It gives me some things (and relationships) to think about.
6:00 - It reminded me so much of Chicago: "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" and "You're the Inspiration", especially.
I love Kristoff and that scene where he says what do you need? Always impacted me… now I can put it into words. Thank you ❤ wonderful episode
You're very welcome!
“My love is not fragile”
It’s been scratched and scraped, but it won’t shatter
This! ❤❤❤
If Anna gave a damn she would’ve treated it with more care.
@@dippitydoppitydoo his love is like iPhone tempered glass screen protectors. Yeah it’s there but you mostly just ignore it until you drop your phone and it saves your screen.
@@dippitydoppitydoo can we please acknowledge that Anna's sister literally died over the course of the movie? And not to mention, her "negligence" of Kristoff was due to her fear for Elsa. The troll's words had Anna on high alert right from the beginning.
This was Elsa's journey of self discovery, and Anna needed to be by her side in support. I think it's very powerful that Kristoff was able to realize Anna's needs in the moment, shelve his agenda for the time being, and just focus on providing the support that she needed.
@@reyskywalker3735 Exactly. The relationship is completely one-sided. She doesn’t deserve him.