Eyelyn Easson Back then there would be disbelief if we dared to say something, particularly about out parents, and there would be horrible repercussions. Nearly unsurvivable repercussions. The fact that we are yet here to rationally discuss this seems miraculous to me. Now, however, we are making safe persons and places on which a child can rely, regardless of the type of abuse, and I’m fairly certain they are discussed with the kids through, school, church or other place of worship, and social organizations. So good to hear what you have to sa.
hi evelyn...i am 79 and stayed with a narcissist for 52 years...wish i had learned in school about narcissism and the harm it can do to one who becomes involved with one...i always thought i was intelligent but now i wonder...i have definitely proved that i am a slow learner to say the least...and the worst part is that others in the family are also narcissists and i realize only now how i have been manipulated by them....they really know how to do this and lay guilt on you...always playing the victim...take care...life begins at 80 i guess....
I agree, those of us who have already been thru this could set a sylibis, a format if you will, to get this started maybe hand it out to local schools?
Couldn't agree more. The more educated the general public becomes, the more likely they are to recognize this behavior in themselves or others, and the less likely people are to get away with it. This would also help many marriages or just keep people from marrying someone like this in the first place.
Lucy Goose they taught us but u have to take the classes to learn it. I knew from a very young age that my step mom was one. She never fooled me and always got so angry when I called her on her shit. Then she wondered why she had no friends. She loved causing scenes to make people feel sorry for her. She was such a victim 🤦♀️. She isn’t and hasn’t been a part of my life for years and I’m very leary of any1 that I see demonstrating any of these behaviors. I’m jaded now and I have a wall around me because of it. I have a difficult time with personal relationships too. Not because I don’t care, I do but letting people in just takes time for me. At least I’m aware now.
And narcissists don't miss you when you're gone, but only miss what you've done for them - and even then, only one or two things. I don't believe there's any sense of gratitude or appreciation in a narcissist.
Exactly i'm gone for good this situation make you feel so empty for someone to use abuse and move on like it wasnt no harm or wrong they just did to you probably made u feel completely destroyed from that heart break how can people be so cold.SAD MADE ME WANT TO TAKE VENGEANCE BUT I LEFT HIM IN GODS HANDS LORD NO I WERE WISHING GOD GOT RID OF HIM FROM THE HURT HE CAUSES BECAUSE NO THEY GO FROM ONE SUPPLY TO THE NEXT.
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The frightening thing is that these individuals are growing more in our society. They are in our schools, families and work. They will harm. Run. Do not engage with these individuals. They will destroy your life.
@@TazHall The love of many will grow cold. Perilous times will come that are hard to bear. They will be lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. Long list. . . incontinent, which means without self-control. Hateful.
I was with a narcissist for 10 years and it’s, of course, my fault for choosing to stay for so long, but I can’t tell you how true all of these things are. My guy was a level 10 narcissist but No One other than me knew who he truly is. Everyone thought the world of him and respected him. I lost a decade of my young life because of his twisted games. I am finally free.
When my son died suddenly twenty years ago, I called my mother to tell her and she said,”well, we never saw him that much anyway.” Never mind that she saw him several times every week. When my dad was dying in hospice, she denied him pain medication, telling the nurses he wasn’t any fun when he was, “All doped up.” The doctor who was head of hospice pulled me aside and told me and my sister my mother was a sociopath. I found your TH-cam channel today. Already it’s very helpful.
Charlotte Schaefers I feel your situation more intensely than I will ever reveal on TH-cam, but people like your mom and my sisters and in-laws should feel for you even if they didn't know your son they knew you. There's no Rhyme or Reason for how they behave if you don't understand the mind they live in. It sickens me to my core I think this is happening to other people
Hugh I.m going to pray for you. Please go to a friend and create a go fund me page. I am disabled and know what it.s like to be financially limited. There are countless people who have found generosity and help. Stay syrong.
@@caroline9948 I am not afraid of the narc and will confront her every time she does it . I don't want to leave my kids with her . that's why I stay. society always leans towards the mother been the primary carer
@Aslynne Caron if I stay I can give them protection and let them know it's not normal. If I go they will not have me to protect them and they will grow up thinking her behaviour is normal.
My mother was a diagnosed psychopath. I'm 66 and have suffered all my life with depression and no self esteem. Still in therapy but there's no way out after all these years. My life has been wasted. She should never have had children. It's been a life sentence for me.
Thank God you are here and I have had similar bad experiences from my early childhood....My mum was not a psychopath but more narcissistic...but my own daughter grew up to become a grandiose narcissistic person... Was in my parents care for the first 5years and her own father is exactly the same! I seem to be surrounded by a number of these unhealthy familymembers so I feel very stuck and sad....I am 69 years old and sometimes I wonder why I should still be around? Love from Anne.... Denmark.
Actually, there is another way of looking at this. She was implemental in you becoming a very strong and loving person. Because of her you don't look for outside sources to confirm that you are good, you are worthy of love. She, your mother taught you what you don't want, so now you know what you do want! My own mother was loving to a fault. She had faith, and would always tell me "you create your own reality". My grandmother died when my Mom was just 2 years old. She lived through an evil Stepmom and even though she didn't experience a loving mother, she knew what she had been missing and she gave that to me. I am forever grateful. Find this road, take it and run with your new life and don't look back. It's your new reality.
Anne and Karen..the world needs kind and caring people like you.! Spend your free time volunteering for those who need help and love. Your life will be so filled with satisfaction and joy! Stay strong.
My whole family are narcissists, psychopaths or enablers. I attracted only narcissist friends and I'm completely alone now. I stay in my house and that's all. But I'm happy. I'm just happy I wasn't murdered.
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But they also trip all over themselves doing it oftentimes and make themselves look like the lying fools they are. No matter how much you laugh and tell them that they are stumbling and sputtering, giving themselves away, the angrier and more self entitled they become!
@@elleemann Absolutely true, experienced it myself. Lived it for 30 years, so much so that I wrote a book about it "Duosimilitus & the 1/3 Principle" Lays all 3 types out very clearly.
"You will be harmed ". I've watched this one before and those words go right through me. They're ominous and true. It seems narcissists can slide back and forth on the spectrum. Frightening. They dwell amongst us. Some of us have up close and personal experience. Take Dr. C. at his word. They are dangerous. "You will be harmed ".
You WILL definitely be HARMED. Narcissists are energetic vampires and as such are takers. That means you will lose something. It will be a part of you. Things of yours. The worst is that they steal some of your personality, your individuality and you lose touch with reality and yourself then your own wants and needs. Your life becomes chaotic. It’s a downward spiral.
@@christar9527 Amen to that, they won't stay unless they can benefit from you. Sooner or later they will affect you in ways you wouldn't know until its over. So get ready for the damage! The best thing you could do is find them out before you get involved.
Narcacist = Dismissive must charge, rationalize, over value self, you pawn, entitlement, always right, critical, I'm better than you Sociopath = Schemer - rules don't apply to me. I'm special. In relationship have different morality, cheating, etc. No remorse. Masks, chameleon, slick talkers. Psychopath = Preditor enjoys inflicting pain. They have criminal mind. No compassion. People tools to be used. Must be dominant. Punishing behavior. All three: you are beneath them. You serve narcacist. Little to no honesty. You will be harmed. Any plea for better treatment is going to be dismissed.
Mostly truth, but dumb oversimplification of “stories that glamorize people who break rules”?! The fallacy of that important statement would mean we would all still be serfs, as Americans - paying taxes to the British Royal Family, and what? God forbid going against Hitler and Stalin and the current evils? Les needs to take a starter course in basic logic.
I hear ya Sue. I spent 30 years hoping he would just love our family enough to change. He never did. I was kept on that roller coaster of normalcy and narcissistic rage. I finally understood it would never happen. He is a monster. I divorced him finally and and am reclaiming my identity and protecting our children. Go No Contact. Live by it or you will never be free.
Same here. I’m still in my nightmare. If I had money and healthcare I’d be gone. He has ruined 23 years of my life. When he saw me he found a sucker, I thought I married price charming, he has been everything but that
Same Here!......But now the future is yours to use lessons learned in a positive way,at least that is the way I have been handling it ....Good luck .....Good life!
@@speedskater5613 I hope you are doing well. I left my nightmare for good 6 months ago after 6 years, he had everything I could ever dream of and used that to isolate me. I am now 31 years old back with my grandparents, no job, no car and I am the happiest I have been, they open the door for me no matter what, he has slammed the door in my face so many times and left me to walk in front of his son that I raised. I deserve better and you deserve it. I am so sorry that you have been going through this for so long, atleast you know who he is and are under no illusions. Once I realized that I started to play the player, document everything and use it to make it through another day knowing this was part of my escape plan. Now I know what to look for. Anyway not trying to ramble but I wish you all the happiness and beautiful things in life that you deserve.
and all three may include addictions and the elements of this horrible disease. I have multiple family members in the spectrum, with deaths from alcohol thrown in
@@blusky3094 Wait, are you implying that 'faithful Christians' can't be narcissistic, sociopathic or psychopathic? Or that atheists (or believers of other faiths) can't get stress from a narcissist? You make no sense.
I learned a lot listening to explain the differences. My ex is narcissist and I didn’t know this until after I married him. He loved to make me doubt myself. He would call me crazy and say @ I didn’t tell you that!”. I felt like he was trying to make me have a nervous breakdown. He was so cruel. But I was not as weak as he tried to make me think I was. I got so tired of his crap and started speaking up. He hated that. I am divorced now and my life is so much better. So glad I got away! So glad.
My ex husband sounds like all three. It's hard to face the fact that I crawled out of that relationship barely functioning. I still struggle but am making slow progress. I was an esteemed professional. I left with nothing. I had no idea what he was doing behind my back. He put on a good show.
Do not give up! I've been separated for 3 years finally wrapping up a divorce from sociopath psychopath and narcissist. He admitted to it. He did some horrific things! I was ready to kill myself at the end.
I hear you Gail. I'm in the same position as you. I married a Muslim man. And still recovering. They have a sickness within them that continues to grow. They will have to answer to God when they leave this world. I've learned the hard way, that when we are alone, it's God's way of protecting us. Everyone keep your heads up high. We are better then them, we have a conscience.
Before I began to watch Dr C's TH-cam channel I would have said I wasted close to 7 years with a narcissistic person, however I won't say that now. I am realizing that it's not what happened to me because a lot didn't happen to me it happened to him in the end. It boils down to what did I learn?. I learned how to recognize that type of behavior. In the midst of watching the narcissistic lunatic lose his mind and finally leave he did not take my self-esteem my self-worth or my self-confidence with him. He may have broken my heart but he did not take my heart with him either. I wish you healing. You can do it one day at a time. It has been 1 year of him having absolutely no access to me I have went totally no contact and I am healing. Thank you so much Dr. C
That is soo true, it has saved me many times, Lord thank you for Discernment, and give us knowledge of who we are around, and keep us when we cannot see what's going on, you see all traps people use. Lord bless and KEEP US, NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST US SHALL PROSPER AND EVERY TONGUE THAT RISES AGAINST US SHALL BE CONDEMNED, those dirty rascals!
The reason dismissive works so well as a solid description is that a narcissist will visibly dismiss you and your words so that they can plant their idea as the only idea. If they play like they can't hear you or dismiss you, then they win! Lol! I deal with this every day at my job, and she is a counselor....
I just will never understand how ones cannot care, have remorse, continually hurt and harm others. I’m an empathetic human, I’m learning how me and my granddaughters have been manipulated. My oldest had to cut her mom off, this is so sad. It can be such a traumatic situation. Causes PTSD, also, no bouncing. We’re working on this. Thank you so much for teaching so I can share and to many comments that have helped. Many blessings to many.
I married a psychopath, having been brought up by narc parents. I did get away, but literally had to run. And then i had the fight of my life for years, for our children. He's now in his 80's and recently had a stroke. I would never wish anyone ill.....but it's hard not to with him. Vile, evil, nasty, dangerous man.
Whatever you do, don't try to get better treatment from them. They see this as manipulative and controlling on your part and it will incur even more abuse from them. The only real solution is to remove yourself from their influence. They are destructive and dangerous to anyone else's well being.
@@Michael-mx3cp Yes you're right. Their goal is to destroy us for anyone else in the future. They don't want us to move on to people who are healthy and frankly better people than them.
@@Libra_Girl. yep, that is the truth, and most evil. They must own, control, and ruin others. Sure wish they could come up with something better to do... like less destructive and hateful.
It is important, as we learn in psychology, to not confuse warning signs with truth. Look for patterns of continued behavior. Somebody having a bad day doesn’t necessarily mean the person lacks empathy. Or If someone doesn’t agree to a rule, it doesn’t mean they break almost every rule. Be careful labeling, but trust your gut regarding associations. Manipulating and lying is a key trait in any of these categories. None of these types will do an act of generosity unselfishly.
It's more important to guard yourself, than it is to get the abuser's label correct. I don't have to take abuse from someone, just because I don't have the correct nomenclature for his particular form of abuse.
I've dealt with several sociopathic narcissist at work , and I've ran into the same types of sales manager for the late 3 years at different companies. I did challenged them all. But I should have cut the cord, they really stressed me. I had to take them all to the State labor Board.
I ended my abusive relationship 3.5 years ago and haven't looked back. Before ending it, and in the early weeks afterwards, I listened and read about this topic. I remember thinking my ex would never do that....smear campaign, electronic stalking, threatening, deliberately using his lack of respect for authority negatively affect me...but he did EVERY SINGLE ONE. If you've been raised in an emotionally abusive family, it's almost impossible to have a point of reference for it. Your videos are among the very best at providing a stable point of reference and I thank you for all that you do. I've just ordered your book The Anger Trap 🖖🏻
Wow my narcissistic x said when we broke up lets keep everything confidential as it is private. While behind my back he was trying to make people think I was a bad person. I am so upset. I just wanted to break up in peace, but now all of the super duper ugliness is the worst I have ever seen since he couldn’t control me anymore. Ugly stuff all of the surface, manipulation lies, victim hood, I am grateful for I knew it all along. But He would hide some of it. I think sociopath is in there too because of some of the highly manipulative stuff he does. Incapable of love
I was I abuse rebtionship now that I am free I what go near any man its make me very angry I what let any one up set me i had a bad live growing up in come form a rice family who didn't care about as we had to look afer Ower sife it didn't make me a socparth or narcissist I give evey thing I didn't get to my son people who are like that are socparth there brains haven't gown rigth .
nena santaella, your comments made me stop in my tracks. So glad a competent therapist made the connection that one's negative, soul-sucking, narcissistic parents set the stage for what their unfortunate offspring will gravitate toward and consider normal. Keep your chin up! xoxo
@@trudykennedy2380 Thank You. It is really not ideal for me to be living with her now. But my father was getting in worse and worse shape. I also had to deal with some health issues of my own. Between caring for his needs , his cats and my own needs I had to make the choice to live with her again. I really don't like it. But I do just like you said and just remind myself that I like the person I grew up to be. That she gets zero credit for all the good parts of me and 90% of Credit for all the parts that are not great, like bad choices in men. My mother taught me one lesson. That a man is necessary and more important than anyone else. I think It is a lesson all girls like me MUST unlearn. I can do good or bad all by myself. Being in a relationship is not the most important thing.
I'm so happy you got out of that toxic relationship. The relationship is all about them and their needs, while you make all the sacrifices and compromises.
I went through that. Devastating to realize you got fooled by a con who doesn't care how much you are hurt. Hopefully after this year has passed, you're in a better place.
Well I know now I’m dealing with a Sociopath. I’m in the final stage of divorce with the settlement mediation in February. I’ve been through all the blame shifting, her lack of responsibility for her cheating, lies, continued affair even after being caught red handed, love bombing and when that didn’t work, the hate mail. It’s like dealing with a 57 year old with a 12 year old’s emotions. As for feeling like a failure, I don’t but it doesn’t lessen the hurt. I felt killing my self would be easier than going through this pain, however I got help and I’m better. Not great but better.
Don't ever hurt yourself! No matter how hopeless you feel, don't do it. Breathe deep, rebuild your sanity and hold on! Talk to someone you trust....or even a complete stranger. Sometimes it's easier to confide to a stranger than to familiar faces. Reach out, don't let the darkness eat you up. Don't let them isolate you and weaken you. If you need to talk, I'll always have an ear to lend. Take care and don't give up!❤
I am sorry you had to go through that.I have been hated a lot for not putting up with bullshit.It's just not worth suffering the fools.Please don't think about harming yourself.People like your wife are good at creating chaos,it is their heaven.Don't give into drama and distance yourself from her.Do not react and give her the chance to attack you.I hope you find peace.
I am so sorry you are going through this, Rick. It can't be easy and you must be hurting terribly. Talk to Jesus about your feelings and your situation; he will help you. God bless.
You are a very intelligent man. Yes, it's unbelievable that people and society glamorize the so called bad boys/girls, those who get away with bad things.
davidelias13 And sadly it’s not going anywhere. People have done it for eons. It’s all about perspective- look at people in wars since the beginning of time- people that were brutal were the highest honored in many societies. Our society had problems with people glamorizing Bonnie and Clyde....probably group-thinking with sympathy for the cause of these people doing bad things (being poor, abused in childhood etc...) they can relate to the bad things leading up to their crimes then they like the idea of feeling powerful which I’m sure criminals feel before they get caught/dead...It seems to be the more primitive side of all people. Sadly it does seem to be getting worse. Perhaps Christ’s return is sooner than we think.
Thank you so much for this Valuable information. I have worked as a RN in a mental health facility for years and I have witnessed all types of behavior. The behavior that bothers me the most is the pathological lair with manipulation. These people are very dangerous and the average person is clueless what they are capable of. I have been involved with the DA's office and it appalls me that these type of people are NOT a concern, unless there is violence involved. A narcissist, sociopath, psychopath are experts at playing mind games to those who are unaware of their behavior and innocent people are being seriously harmed. The Police Dept and the DA's office DO NOT CARE about mind games, only violence! Maybe if the DA and PD dept would change their minds about mental illness, became more educated about the disease process, how to identify and help these people, maybe the dreadful killings we hear about everyday would start to decline!!
My mentally ill adult son was taken to the hospital. The doctor's report concluded that he suffered from a concussion, sexual assault and assault by his girlfriend. She wasn't the one that was harmed. She realized what she had done when his face was bleeding and rushed to the police to file a false report. He was NOT ALLOWED to press charges, not sure if it was because she beat him to the DA's office since she wasn't in the ER, I guess she could.. If you guessed we are in KY, you'd be right.
I have personally known all 3 types, and I do have wounds, but I am healing. I am now free of all of that chaos, and thanks to you Dr. Les, and others who help and support us all, I am learning how to avoid engaging in such dangerous relationships in the future! Bless you! 💕
@@tallisinwonderland4724 It's a very sad development that has been taking place for about 25 - 30 years. When you meet spoiled children, you can to some degree feel sorry for them, because no matter how annoying their behaviour may be, it is obvious that it is their parents' fault for not bring them up properly, setting the appropriate limits for them etc. But when these spoiled/let-down curling children become adults, they are just annoying period - I mean, it can be quite tiring have to parent grown-ups, something that their parents should have done. Especially because most of them are too stuck up to respond politely.
kbh prinsesse I know, so much behaviour now is ego driven and it’s not good for society. We now have a thing in England where asking a child to do something can be seen as coercive control and people are actually on tv arguing about whether grand parents should ask if it’s ok to hug their grandchild (ask the child) I get where it’s coming from but we are going to breed a load of spoiled kids who cannot cope with anything they don’t like and don’t understand spontaneous affection which is one of the things that makes us human. Maybe I’m old fashioned, I don’t know :(
Thank you for identifying the differences, Dr. Les. I just got rid of a psychopath I was in "relationship" with for eight years. I'm a survivor, so I'm trying to go easy on myself for being manipulated for so long. Your videos are a comfort and validation. Thanks for making them ☺️ Much peace to all~
This is such an important message and I love how you don't mince words. This needs to be heard loud and clear. Yes, YOU WILL BE HARMED and YOUR PLEAS WILL BE DISMISSED. These two realities are critically important. Thank you. What a wonderful service you're doing sharing your knowledge, experience and wisdom with everyone in this way. I don't mince words either when I directly state YOU ARE SAVING LIVES. One video at a time, your hard work and effort involved in getting these important lessons out to those who need to hear them most will forever be appreciated. Thank you. 😊
My ex was all three: scheming, predator, and narcissist. Young women should be educated about this. It is very confusing if you don't know what is going on.
Correct. A female relative is the most unabashed narcissist (probably redundant) I know. It may be that many women confuse male narcissism with an appealing confidence, while men are scared off by women who straddle the narcissism/confidence line, but it's foolish to believe that these behaviors, from the troubling to the dangerous, are gender specific. They're not, as Jackie says. One point Dr. Les might have emphasized is that a narcissist and even a sociopath may not only be intelligent but may also be quite successful at work. You may find them as domineering, humiliating bosses who take credit for your work. The psychopath has a harder time with success because of the tendency toward frightening outbursts or even physical threats. Finally, even within each category there's a range. Most people have tiny nuggets of narcissism but thankfully fall short of full-blown narcissism. Especially troubling are the low-end psychopaths who manage to fit into the work world and reach positions of power. Any casual read of 20th-century history or current politics demonstrates that sad truth.
For just shy of twenty years, I was married to a lying, cheating, addictive, mentally and physically abusive sociopath - yours was a near-perfect description. Through online dating, I recently met a man that I thought I was going to connect strongly with and yet, after just one date, I realized that he is (at the very least) a narcissist. I shut that down pretty quickly and now, watching him from afar (we are still in each other's social circle) I know I made the right move. At the tender age of 48, I'm finally learning lol.
You have described my ex-husband to a T. Unfortunately I spent 17 years with this "person" which imparted much emotional damage. It took me several years to heal but I'm happy to say that I have been healed. God has "restored my soul" Psalm 23
My mom is one of these- I thought narcissist but now I’m wondering if sociopathic. I was once told she is probably a sociopath. I’ve been contemplating no contact for years but I can’t help but feel guilty about it and uneasy. I actually get scared of what she would do. Best case scenario is I do it when I move so she can’t follow me as easily. At least she can’t pull strings like she used to but she manages to cause a lot of drama and anxiety either way.
Theonlyonestanding I try to keep contact with my mother (narcissist or sociopath not sure...very childish so probably narcissist). I feel guilty thinking of no contact because she could have been much worse and we have SOME good times (1/10 the time lol) But she is exhausting to deal with and we have to keep our walls up as to not be manipulated into dangerous situations again. She’s gotten worse as she ages- she just happens to live far away but wants to move close as possible. I’m fearful of what she would do if she could find us after no contact...If she’s a narcissist then at least she would probably figure I don’t deserve her and would make up lies to her friends lol 😂
That reminds me of my stepfather when we laughed at his thin legs he retorted "You can't fatten a thoroughbred"!! He always had an answer to make himself superior and criticized flaws and faults in our appearance or intelligence. I noticed his way of signing his name with a very fancy 'G' it had a hook and a flick and I learned it's called a Felon's Hook a trademark of criminals and psychopaths. I do believe he was a psychopath capable of anything.
Yes...my narc often said..."when I become ruler of the universe....."...thought it was funny at first but started realizing....he said it as a joke but he really believed he was above everyone else.
It seems to me that narcissists and sociopaths can be fun to be around casually (fun at a party), but you wouldn't want your best friend married to one. Nor would you really want any kind of close relationship, even friendship, with one. Psychopaths outright dangerous.
The stbxh who is malignant narc/sociopath broke up his "best friends" marriage and the wife and narc are cousins! They have no loyalty, conscience, shame or guilt. It is absolutely disgusting watching the incest fest. I also found out he was grooming my gay nephew and was having an affair behind my back with him.
@Ryan Meredith I totally agree! In my experience, they seem to do more catastrophic damage to anyone close to them or that get in their sights. And most people don't understand or even know there are people like this, especially when it's a co-worker, friend, family member or spouse. It's really hard to wrap your mind around their logic, intentions and behavior.
Flemish Templar There is a saying that Psychopaths rarely go to jail; it is the Sociopath who carries out her work who goes to jail. My understanding is that the Sociopath is a product of her environment, but that the Psychopath does not even light up parts of the brain during a Functional MRI. Yikes!
Ryan Meredith I have to disagree. I’ve found that although neither has empathy nor good intentions, the Psychopath is more intelligent, clever and even under the radar in her accomplishments of destruction and evil. Sociopaths tend to act out, in my opinion.
Sadly most people have to learn about them the hardest way before they learn how to strongly avoid them. I have no friends or family left and this is just fine with me.
Love to you, Dr C. Thank you for helping us untangle all of the confusion and madness in our heads about what is happening in our lives. I hope to be of help to others someday. All this pain and suffering should not be for nothing.. I hope that God calls me to use these past 20 years of abuse to help someone else.
You will sweetie! My mother spent 27 years in absolute terror and misery...but she's a lioness! Because of her I'm still alive and able to stand up for myself. She always helps and gives her love to those around her and even strangers. Same goes with me, if I didn't have the father I have, I wouldn't be able to have this understanding and strength to defend and help others. Stay strong and share your love and wisdom! Wish you all the best!
Absolutely! I think I subconsciously went into psychology for that reason. You will find opportunities to help people placed in your path, no matter what your path, you will be a blessing to others! There are many types of healing arts as well. Best of luck to you! ❤❤❤❤
@@gymnast2890 Thank you so much! 😊 I also wanted to study psychology for the same reasons, and even though I studied something else, I still want to become a therapist one day. I wish you a beautiful, happy, productive life! This world needs more people like you! 💜
Sara Draper-Wessels I survived with narc, sociopath and psychopath all in one. Barely made it out alive, but hung in there for my children. All that matters is that we made it out. 🙌🏼
If he kept you sweet and then did disgusting things that's a sociopath, if you had concerns about your safety, the other. It's best just to say goodbye. Nomatter how much they want you in their life LMAO! Good luck
@@Meowminx - Glad you made it, but hanging in there for the children did not benefit them at all. I don't know the details of your circumstances, but I can't help but think that was a very bad decision that most likely harmed your children, not to mention you.
Very useful. Where was this guy in the 80s when I allowed people like this to get away with a lot? The charm and ability to read who is vulnerable and who can be taken advantage is spot on. I don't want to get morally high and mighty about myself as I am not perfect. However, videos like this make me realize my own flaws as well as others. Not being equipped with this information back when I was young led to me allowing people repeated opportunities to stay in my life. They always believed they would be forgiven no matter what....and I almost always did. Lesson learned. At least I can help my kids handle these situations differently. Stay safe everyone.
Sounds like me, dude. Maybe all of us. But even now we are experienced, can we spot a lovebombing from a genuinely interested person? I just refuse everyone, now. UNFUCKWITHABLE :)
Yep, they just love, good, forgiving people, to walk all over.. & constantly apologizing for their bad behavior! Sorry you had to go through it too! I wish I had this info. back in the 80's As well! 👍😊
The narcissists actually feels the opposite. “I hate myself, I want to be you but because I can’t be you and have what you have I have to destroy you.” Narcissists are extremely needy. Sociopaths are sloppy. Psychopaths are smooth.
You hit the nail on the head when you said that they are like a little child with an undeveloped conscience!!!! Arguing with one feels just like arguing with a little kid!!! haha
And as they grow older, using the same behaviour cyclically, it get's harder to deal with. Make not the mistake that once you have them sussed, that it is easier. It is not.
@@noahjones8616They are super clever at their deskjob, but he is talking about a social conscience, empathy and how they FEEL about their place in the world which is another ballgame.
Narcissism: Beneath is a futile attempt at self love which ends in self hate.We are incapable of the proper love of self that we rightfully need as human beings. Only God can love us as we need to be loved.He is perfect love.We lack.It is a gross insult to our feeble attempts at self love, and our pride in these self generated efforts. They end in futility, self righteousness, isolation, and self hate, really. We must resign all pride, relax, relinquish ourselves to the only wise God, and let Him love us.This He will do if entrusted so to do.
This subject should be included and or part demanded by all governments before graduating from high school. This information is very important to learn as well as any type of a broken criminal system. Vulnerables without a system support and family support are the easy targets for this type of in-humans.
I married and then divorced someone who has every single one of these traits, but never attacks physically. He now is emotionally abusing my children and are isolating them from me. Everyday it is a new rule. I have spent years in therapy to just get away from this mad man, but he still continues to have complete control over my three children. My children are so afraid to speak up because they know their father will just cause more pain. He completely brainwashes them. He is a true monster but appears to be "number one dad." I feel like I sold my soul to the devil when I married him. To top it all off, his brother is a pastor of a large church in Cranberry Twp, PA and his nickname is , Baby Jesus. If only people knew the truth.
I believe you. This is exactly what psychopaths do. I hope you and your children will find a way to escape this monster! Pray to God, and believe in yourself! Dont let him or anyone else question your sanity! You're absolutely right about him.
I m down the road a bit from you Kara Nuzzo. Stop trying to play tug of war with him over your children. Take the time to slow down, catch your breath and just do this one thing and it will help you. Take the time and show your children who you are as their Mother. Show them guidance by being a positive person. Do not bitch about him to them, that can crush them. At sometime down the road as they get older they will pull away from him. They will value who and what they are when they remember good things you do with them. Good memories of you and the love you give them will always stay with them. That will be $ 10.00 in the feel good jar, for you. Love yourself!!!
Kara i will pray for you and your kids. I relate. I have one and was discarded by him but didnt know he was a covert narc.... He continues to give me hell and harm me and my daughter emotionally though he plays in the church band and acts as though hes a saint...:(
Thank You So Very Much For Sharing Narcissists Don't Care About You As An Individual. They Have No Humanity No Morals No Shame..No Loyalty No Integrity.These Ppl Are Incredibly Dangerous
EXCELLENT info!! My last boss had half of the symptoms of a sociopath. Her behaviour was baffling to me, and she was terrible to work for. Thanks for clearing up that mystery.
Haha, I could have written that! Not to one-up you, but my last boss (who like yours was a woman who was terrible to work for) AND the one before that, a man who was more of a covertly sociopathic narcissist, seem to have colluded to bring me down.
Still a mystery with my boyfriend of 2 yrs on which one(i can't seem to catch him cheating on me) but either way it seems i need to run but it's such a hard decision
I had to make my escape as soon as the demon possessed fool was out of sight Thanks to the most high for his grace mercy forgiveness and protection for myself and my children We escaped with our lives The devil seeks to steal kill and destroy
I'm 68, I would have needed this is high school, even junior high The sooner the better, if you might even find one or two in your own family Which sets us up for meeting the next abuser, cuz this. Is what we're used to Pray and meditate, they don't like God we are His creations and the narc hates us They are are perfect lesson.....Don't pick up narcissitic fleas!!! Love and hugs from Oregon
Ex bf was working security and due to that he had to drive a lot during the night. One day when he came back he told me how he hit a cat on the motorway while driving. He proceeded to a VERY detailed description of the incident almost as if he had still images in his head. He told me about "the fear that he saw in the cats face" , the cats momevents during the hit, the condition of the body after, the furr left on the car every single little disturbing detail. Then he said that he felt the responsibility on taking a life and he seemed almost proud. At the end he said he felt sorry for the owner that would look for his cat in the morning and i saw him trying to hold a laugh while trying to appear sad. After that i had to stop fooling myself that this guy was normal. I had spent 3 years getting abused and gashlighted and lied to and all the rest but that was sort of waking up call. There was something very very creepy in the way he described the whole thing and his demeanour
Yeah I have been through this, the girl I was with was very proud of being violent, though she is only 5 foot tall. And she took pride in telling stories of previous lovers who just lost their minds and had to leave their education because of her
@@angelbythewings 4'11" tall or so, 90 lbs soaking wet, one erin mccaffey slaughtered her entire family, in texas, look up the case. Total narcissistic sociopath. Just cuz they are tiny dont mean they aint capable of overwhelming evil...my narc is 5' tall also, 90 lbs, and evil to the core, yes, she is...most evil.
A timeless gift to all that sit in front the screen seeking another chapter of understanding toxic personalitys and ourselves. I think down the road up and out of someone else's issues that were needlessly, naively absorbed, you get a increased value once out of the brain fog.
I believe all presidential candidates should have a psychological evaluation before running for the position of Commander-in-chief. And every year thereafter.
4UCarla well, that horse has left the barn. We have a sociopathic, narcissistic, psychopath in the White House. He checks every box for Sociopathic, Psychopath, malignant narcissist and we can thank the dumbasses who voted for him.
4UCarla Stay safe and avoid seeing his face or hearing his word salad sentences. It’s unfathomable to watch the rate at which this man, McConnell who is psychopathic, this Administration and their supporters are destroying this country.
Thanks Dr. Carter. What I find scary is how outwardly charming all three types can present themselves. And I agree with you about media that glamorizes manipulators and predators. It's all interesting as a passive viewer until a narcissist or a psychopath destroys or attempts to destroy your life (or take your life). It's not entertaining when it's you. At least that's my perspective and experience.
We do wear signs, or labels. Learn to look for them. Some are obvious, some are not. Decades ago one of my narcissistic brothers said, "People don't have labels." I never forgot that and l proceeded to learn about psychology. We really do have labels. You may or may not like what you find, but learn to read the label.
They may not wear labels but we know something isn't right. I did anyway. However, I choose to dismiss the signs The Most High showed me. The many many warnings signs and red flags. The day before our wedding, (big red flag). Six months before our engagement (big red flag). The second year as a couple (hugh red flag). Deep breathes. I allowed a minipulating liar and abuser to rope me back into a vicious cycle of chaos we call our life. I'm just now able to put a name to his unstable mental condition. But I always knew something wasn't rt w my husband. Maybe he'll want to get some help again. (He sought out therapy before.) I just don't know if I'm gonna stick around to find out. He's a very hard man to live w.
@Tara C I've been telling myself to run for years. But I always let him back in. I have an exit plan. I just never had the courage to see it through. Your story though, it's been a real wake up call. Thank you for sharing. I know I have to leave. My gut is saying so. I just found an apartment. I need strength to pull this off. I'm so sorry about how you've been treated. This planet is filled w evil demons called narcs
I love your videos Dr Carter. It feels like we're having a very laid back and easy conversation about something that is ugly. You have a way of putting it that makes it understandable and increases my confidence. Thank you!
WOW. This was what i always tried to figure out. I knew or rather sensed danger in spite of the charisma and seeming concern and i have finally learned to act on my intuition..and escaped both a sociopathic friend and a psychopath i lived with 23 years. You have confirmed all my hidden fears and anxieties. They are both blocked. A simple thank you is all i can say but I say it with all my heart. You are a blessing from the spiritual world.
I have been an overtly happy man my whole life.This seems to be like a magnet for the most extreme narc. They prey on baiting the victim into volunteering to walk the plank.
I agree, and concur!! Very astute, and your verbal style has a disticnt gleam, as if polished by engaging with the parasitic parana. Happy trails brother...
my dearest dr. i learn so much from you!! your help is much appreciated. i was raised by a mother like this and being an extremely sensitive and intuitive person i knew from a very young age there was something wrong with my mom. i thought that there was a witch that lived inside my mom that would torment my sister and i on an almost daily basis and this gave me nightmares almost every night. i immediately understood what you said about narcissists putting others in harm's way. my sister and i were quite close in age. when my mom realized the attention she got from others, including her friends, when my sister and i became attractive teenagers she took full advantage of this as her image and being perceived as perfect meant everything to her. she would take us to greece in the summer and 'pushed' us to go out with older men as this seemed to 'flatter' her. from a young age we were tormented by her obsession that we must remain virgins or no man would ever marry us and were also prohibited from talking on the phone with them. in greece these the rules seemed to disappear as even though she frowned on sexual activity she was dismissive when we told her about feeling discomfort and embarassment when these men attempted to hold our hand or grabbed our breasts, etc. we were told that these were "real men" and to just go along with it. it was as though she were living her non-existent teenagehood through us!! another time i told her i was attacked by one of these men (we were also encouraged to go out with greek men in our city and she would buy us clothing to "win" us over) but she convinced my dad (he was passive towards her) to talk to me as i was lying to get out of a date!!). over time i realized that not only was this cruel woman harmful to us mentally with her incessant words of abuse on a daily basis (many taking on a sexual tone at a young age which i must deal with even today in my 50's) but she didn't even care about our physical safety!! i knew it was time to cut her off (after many tries because admitting that you never truly had a mom was one of hardest things i had to face) when she began treating my son in a manner i found unsatisfactory. i couldn't protect myself when i was a child but i could certainly protect my child!! i apologize if there are spelling or grammar errors but i can't bear to proofread this as i haven't thought about this for awhile. i am, however much better without this deeply troubled person in my life. the things i have gone through with this woman my dearest doctor and readers would make your skin crawl. putting a name to her illness makes me feel better as i thought that either i was making it more of an issue in my mind than it really was (i was also told this by her and my sister who also turned out to be like my mom) or that her illness had no name because i found it impossible to believe that other mothers could be so cruel to their own flesh and blood. you have given me wonderful information, dr.!!
I learned SO MUCH from your video, Sir. You are spot-on! I was vulnerable, and “fooled”, and suffered mental abuse... I am so sad our only son, in his 20’s have these traits... therefore, cannot find a lasting relationship with the girls he dates. He refuses therapy. Thank you for an Excellent video explanation.
Judy Bunch I have the same situation. I am urging my son to get into therapy and eventually seek the Lord's divine intervention. I find Christianity as a great weapon against narcissism. Blessings to you.
Judy bunch I am so with you. Those traits are far-reaching. And I really don't think psychologists always know because they are very often themselves Psychopaths. Obviously not all, but I ran into a doozy
Me too, @Judy Bunch. And I also find prayer as a comforting tool, but it breaks my heart that my own son may not ever have truly deep and loving relationships. Only occasionally do I see a soft side of him revealed, but it diminishes as quickly as it surfaces. My husband who has Aspergers is clueless, so it's very difficult for all of us. 🤷♀️🙏😢
My ex boyfriend exhibited all three levels described here. I was in constant battle calling him out on his behavior. 12 years later? Just now he is under medication and in therapy. However a NPD only tries to become a better person to be able to polish their game or gain more with new charming skills. You will never be appreciated by one find someone who wants to spoil you and cherish and treat you as you truly deserve to be loved.
my father was a sociopath. my sister is a sociopath. and my ex-husband is a sociopath. the harm and damage that they did to me is extensive. I appreciate your videos. thank you.
j m You didn't choose your family but why did you choose a spouse who is a psychopath? Did you want to continue experiencing pain because you don't like change?
j m no, that's incorrect LOL Sociopath is a current official definition. Psychopath is no longer used. But it means the same thing. Just like imbecile or cretin no longer used but it used to be an official name for people with mental retardation or as current called, learning difficulties or learning impaired. Check Bob Gate's book. He explains that word psychopath is a name used in popular culture only but not in an official Psychiatry books today
I’m still healing after my last bout with a sociopath. The difficult part is to identify the sociopath early on in the relationship so you get out before you are so enmeshed that it’s hard to leave.
I was discarded on Christmas by the sociopath. I’m so glad it’s over. I fell into so much sin when I was with him but now I’m doing way better. I couldn’t figure out why I was acting out in such bad behaviors. I know that i made the choice to do those but still it’s weird that now all of a sudden I’m not in sin. Another thing I remember about him is that he said, “if your family is drinking and it bothers you and you sin because of it then they should stop drinking.” I can’t believe I fell for that crap. Yeah blame others for my own faults. He also was unable to handle situations I brought up to him and questioned him about. Would say he’s for homeless people and knew I was homeless but then joke about homeless people like it was okay. He also talked about his friends in past tense. The guy had no friends he hung out with old people, children, and his mother. 🤦🏽♀️🙄
@@if131 The red flags are there, but unless you really understand how they operate and yes, pay attention, they can easily draw you into their web of lies.
@@mariahconklin4150 I’m sorry that happened to you. I found it so helpful to watch videos about how they operate. Another thing that helped me was really valuing myself. If I value myself, I’ll be much less likely to fall for their manipulation. I’ll be able to identify sociopaths and narcissists much more quickly.
@@dazzlingdeb8427 I’m good! I’m regaining confidence in myself after only a couple of days and putting God first. I’m also seeing what I did wrong in the relationship also. Only problem is that I feel so disconnected from people.
The narcissist picks those who they know they can deceive, the kind merciful ones. They also know their victim will carry the narcissist's guilt and their own perceived guilt with them to void out any abuse of the narcissist. There was a person who experienced this exact thing, felt sorry for the poor abuser narcissist, then found out the narcissist had been lying the entire length of their marriage which was in the process of dissolving. That merciful spirit which took on the narcissist's guilt no longer was there.
Working with a narcissist was quiet a challenge. I tried to fix her taking some abuse and letting her learn by example. I encountered a concrete wall of irreverence, arrogance and lack of empathy. Everyone wanted to distance themselves from her, she was toxic, authoritarian, unapologetic and plain rude. I felt sorry because I saw the personality disorders she could never accept she had. I don't feel guilt by leaving her side, I did it for my own sanity sake. I feel sorry and disappointed I couldn't helped her. She has a terrible reputation in this town, among her "clients", family and church congregation according to my research. She has a violent road rage, she is impatient and complains about everything at every business. PENELOPE LAMBSON, we are never guilty of other people's unresolved anger and resentment issues. Sometimes you just have to say good bye to those who hold you hostage because of your kind, emphatic soul.
Hey Ron, I worked with a narc it was a horrible experience. She was.a critical and calculated person when it came to weekly meetings,.she belittled and crapped over everyone's ideas, and they were all pointless to her. When I had a folder thrown at me, I looked for another job day and night. It was such a relief to miss work to go through other job interviews.when I got another position, I left at the end of the week, I didn't give a 2 weeks notice. I have nightmares of this boss when in her employment and when I saw her at our local Walmart I went to another lane to shop, I didn't want to be in eye sight. Not so much that I was afraid of her, but afraid of my own anger as to how I would react. They never replaced my position, with anyone else because they knew the trouble was from the top down. I was the 5 th person who had resigned, or quit. On the other side, I love my new job. My co workers are amazing and my bosses are terrific. Work and business narcs are the worst, because it's the 40+ hours you spend with them and it's influences your money, health and spirit. I honestly could handle a narcy husband over a narcy business partner or work place supervisor. Work narcs are the worst! Dr Carter needs a video of workplace narcs...
Good for you dear. If you come in eye contact with her, she probably won't even look at you because you were the "defected" one. Her fantastic pride blinds her cognitive and rational understanding. Living in a delusional world of her own where no one else matters. We fight our daily battles with "normal" people to let dysfunctional individuals steal our love for life.
Roncaglia G are you sure it was a real woman and not a secret transgender? Those can be quite nasty because of raging hormones. Many of them are transgendered as little kids without their consent and go nuts when they get older. Castration removes their ability to go through normal puberty and insufficient testosterone and constant feeling of frustration drives them up the wall
Dr. Carter: After watching this video, I had a good healing cry. I wish I could comment here on the details of what I am dealing with. I am a childhood sexual abuse survivor, but there are other dynamics in my family that are even more perplexing. That's as far as I can go with that in a public forum but just know that this was probably the most valuable video I have watched, and of more value than the books that I have read in the past year as I have tried to figure out my situation. As I said good-bye to my husband for our day's work, he said to me, "You are healing! I can tell!" Thank you for your insight that has played a part in that.
Thank you for describing the difference between these illnesses. It’s hard to find a clear picture. Now I know that my husband was for sure “just” a malignant narcissist.
I've got enough distance on a toxic relationship I had with someone on this spectrum of illness that I can say: This would be a good guide to understanding teenagers and politicians.
Thank you so much Dr. Les! This was so helpful. I knew my ex-husband was a narcissist, but I also think he is a sociopath. So glad I left him, my life is much healthier now.
I was married to a narcissist for 25 years - not an easy to leave a very controlling and manipulative person. Aside from his endless spending, verbal abuse, drinking and many other horrible qualities; his extra-marital affairs were endless and they were always MY Fault. The unfortunate part, he had the incredible ability to make me believe HE was right and I would faithfully apologize for being so ugly and forcing him to go out with other women. Getting a divorce and seeking professional help was the best gift I have ever given myself. I've been sane for 20 years now!!! Awesome videos, I hope others discover them prior to dating or marrying these type of personalities.
I think the idea Dr. Carter touched on about society's infatuation with the "bad boy/girl" is important. Society has embraced individualism so much that in entertainment it is no longer the "white hat" that is looked up to but the criminal. It is almost as if society has become the evil entity and these borderline criminals are the saviors. In music, movies and novels it has become more and more about fighting the "system" rather than the individuals who make the system evil.
I really like this video and highly recommend it for anyone trying to deal with such difficult people. The terms and concepts are easy to remember and help us to understand the distinctions between a narcissist, a sociopath, and a psychopath.
I wish I could join but was recently laid off from my job of nearly 10 years (library) that I LOVED. Filed for unemployment but haven't received a dime...savings should be gone soon. Heard from a man whose son killed himself recently there have been more suicides in the last 9 months in their county than all the suicides in the past 30 years combined. I like your Healthy Mind channel because it's desperately needed in today's upside down world. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORKS.
This is very enlightening. I've come to the conclusion that my brother is a sociopathic (if that's a word) narcissist. I'd like to add that he is also a pathological liar. To say that he is evil is an understatement.
Sociopaths do not always have a covetous nature - some are very differently motivated - but when lack of conscience and covetousness occur together in the same individual, a fascinating and frightening picture emerges. Since it is simply not possible to steal and have for oneself the most valuable ‘possessions’ of another person - beauty, intelligence, success, a strong character - the covetous sociopath settles for besmirching or damaging enviable qualities in others so that they will not have them, either, or at least not be able to enjoy them so much
u r so awesomely I thought I was really going crazy because of my narcissists' mother-in-law of 40 years. I felt very trapped by her mean ways with me I realize now she is just sick and cut ties all together except family functions. I have never felt more alive and am healing every day. thanks for all your educational videos. somewhere in Texas
I'm 52 and just realizing that I have not been with a "normal" person yet! Sociopaths and Narcissists everyone of them !( perhaps a psycho or two, but they were very young and I got away). I'm finding this series very enlightening. Thank you.
It’s not something I readily admit, but I’ve been diagnosed as a sociopath (ASPD). The traits sum me up perfectly, so you’re definitely getting it right. Feel free to ask questions, I’ve decided it’s better to be open about it for educational purposes, but the traits I display cannot be controlled, it’s a natural instinct. My childhood was extremely difficult, which is what lead my brain to develop the way it did
I forgot to mention, that my siblings have high positions in society as well as my ex husband (lawyer) and they seem totally normal and funny and people like their charming ways. They seem like gentlemen and this is the way conartists work and no one would believe me. God bless.
very common. many of these individuals do have high positions in society, and indeed get there because of many of these traits, and how deceiving they are. peace
Love the way you put the SIMILARITIES of the Narcissist, the Sociopath, and the Psychopath in a nutshell---very uncomplicated and simply put for such a complex subject!!! Thank You!!
I've lived with a narcissist/sociopath for 28 years (I'm an empath) ... I was highly damaged (and my kids even more so :( BUT after a year and half away from it all....we are learning more and getting stronger and stronger. Thank you for your helpful videos!!
Every time I read a comment like this it makes me more and more comfortable finally enforcing boundaries with my daughters father. She’s 3, but I feel like by having no boundaries even after he’s stolen from me- more than once - I’m contributing to the deception of this fabricated relationship. I hate it for her..... she deserves a great father - like the man he presented himself to be.
You are so well spoken. I love how clearly you explain complicated things. Your videos are very helpful to me, as after I left an abusive relationship the last thing I want is to repeat what happened. So you are helping me understand what I got away from, so I can avoid it in the future. Thank you for that. Much appreciated.
I’m so grateful to you, Dr. Carter. I feel that even though i have chosen so many narcissists in the past, i am armed with knowledge and awareness now. I was just recently introduced to a man considered handsome, accomplished, wealthy...a real catch. I saw all the signs. First the sad story to snare the empath. Then then the arrogant expectations. Why wasn’t I opening my best wine for him? Why wasn’t I starting the fire? Why wasn’t I doing this, doing that? Why wasn’t my house perfect enough? The following morning, going from the guest room to the shower, he plopped down on my living room sofa in his towel, and I just knew he was thinking “WHY am I not getting LAID?” I was the gracious hostess, but I was so happy to see him leave, and thrilled with my new found calm understanding of what had transpired. I felt whole, and centered, and saved from one more narcissist. Thankyou...from the bottom of my heart.
I needed this info when I was twenty. Survived anyway and now am 80. amazing. this information shoulf be tsught by 7th grade.
Me too!
Eyelyn Easson Back then there would be disbelief if we dared to say something, particularly about out parents, and there would be horrible repercussions. Nearly unsurvivable repercussions. The fact that we are yet here to rationally discuss this seems miraculous to me. Now, however, we are making safe persons and places on which a child can rely, regardless of the type of abuse, and I’m fairly certain they are discussed with the kids through, school, church or other place of worship, and social organizations. So good to hear what you have to sa.
Why can't we teach this in school!
Could you imagine the impact on society in a couple generations? Healthier individuals, healthier families, healthier communities
hi evelyn...i am 79 and stayed with a narcissist for 52 years...wish i had learned in school about narcissism and the harm it can do to one who becomes involved with one...i always thought i was intelligent but now i wonder...i have definitely proved that i am a slow learner to say the least...and the worst part is that others in the family are also narcissists and i realize only now how i have been manipulated by them....they really know how to do this and lay guilt on you...always playing the victim...take care...life begins at 80 i guess....
This ***needs*** to be taught to middle school students. And then again when they're high school students. STOP the cycles! STOP the evil!
absolutely .. i couldn't agree more .
Lucy Goose that is true but i think even grade school at some point! Geez!
I agree, those of us who have already been thru this could set a sylibis, a format if you will, to get this started maybe hand it out to local schools?
Couldn't agree more. The more educated the general public becomes, the more likely they are to recognize this behavior in themselves or others, and the less likely people are to get away with it. This would also help many marriages or just keep people from marrying someone like this in the first place.
Lucy Goose they taught us but u have to take the classes to learn it. I knew from a very young age that my step mom was one. She never fooled me and always got so angry when I called her on her shit. Then she wondered why she had no friends. She loved causing scenes to make people feel sorry for her. She was such a victim 🤦♀️. She isn’t and hasn’t been a part of my life for years and I’m very leary of any1 that I see demonstrating any of these behaviors. I’m jaded now and I have a wall around me because of it. I have a difficult time with personal relationships too. Not because I don’t care, I do but letting people in just takes time for me. At least I’m aware now.
And narcissists don't miss you when you're gone, but only miss what you've done for them - and even then, only one or two things. I don't believe there's any sense of gratitude or appreciation in a narcissist.
Narcissists don't think about past as much as most people. If you are not in their future, they won't think about you. Is it a bad thing though?
I’m so glad to be rid of my narcissistic, antisocial and sociopathic fuck buddy. However I got a really shitty rabbit vibrator from him as a sorry X x
Exactly i'm gone for good this situation make you feel so empty for someone to use abuse and move on like it wasnt no harm or wrong they just did to you probably made u feel completely destroyed from that heart break how can people be so cold.SAD MADE ME WANT TO TAKE VENGEANCE BUT I LEFT HIM IN GODS HANDS LORD NO I WERE WISHING GOD GOT RID OF HIM FROM THE HURT HE CAUSES BECAUSE NO THEY GO FROM ONE SUPPLY TO THE NEXT.
@@teresadudman505 don't use it. It will feed his ego thinking u gon come while thinking of him
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The frightening thing is that these individuals are growing more in our society. They are in our schools, families and work. They will harm. Run. Do not engage with these individuals. They will destroy your life.
Mirtzee read the sociopath next door by Martha stout....!!!!
They're in our churches 🤪
@@TazHall I'm a Church secretary and the pastor is one.....
The bible says that love of self will increase in the last days.
@@TazHall
The love of many will grow cold. Perilous times will come that are hard to bear. They will be lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. Long list. . . incontinent, which means without self-control. Hateful.
I was with a narcissist for 10 years and it’s, of course, my fault for choosing to stay for so long, but I can’t tell you how true all of these things are. My guy was a level 10 narcissist but No One other than me knew who he truly is. Everyone thought the world of him and respected him. I lost a decade of my young life because of his twisted games. I am finally free.
Me too. 10 years. He died a couple yrs ago n all anyone remembers is how great a musician he was (not) and what a great guy. Unbelievable.
For a moment I thought I wrote your comment and had to look to double check!
Same story here!!! Glad ur free🥰🥰🥰🥰
Bravo!
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!
When my son died suddenly twenty years ago, I called my mother to tell her and she said,”well, we never saw him that much anyway.” Never mind that she saw him several times every week. When my dad was dying in hospice, she denied him pain medication, telling the nurses he wasn’t any fun when he was, “All doped up.” The doctor who was head of hospice pulled me aside and told me and my sister my mother was a sociopath. I found your TH-cam channel today. Already it’s very helpful.
Talk about ice cold! Dr. C
I’m so sorry, that’s just awful 😢
Charlotte Schaefers
I feel your situation more intensely than I will ever reveal on TH-cam, but people like your mom and my sisters and in-laws should feel for you even if they didn't know your son they knew you. There's no Rhyme or Reason for how they behave if you don't understand the mind they live in. It sickens me to my core I think this is happening to other people
Wow, that doctor was brave. What did you think?
Hugh I.m going to pray for you. Please go to a friend and create a go fund me page. I am disabled and know what it.s like to be financially limited. There are countless people who have found generosity and help.
Stay syrong.
Love yourself enough to run the other way. They will not change.
I love my kids more so I stay 😭
@@caroline9948 I am not afraid of the narc and will confront her every time she does it . I don't want to leave my kids with her . that's why I stay. society always leans towards the mother been the primary carer
@Aslynne Caron if I stay I can give them protection and let them know it's not normal. If I go they will not have me to protect them and they will grow up thinking her behaviour is normal.
@Aslynne Caron I don't work I have arthritis and no money and it's too big a risk to take. I'm in it till they leave home.
Theresza HEALED , they won’t! They’ll get another victim
My mother was a diagnosed psychopath. I'm 66 and have suffered all my life with depression and no self esteem. Still in therapy but there's no way out after all these years. My life has been wasted. She should never have had children. It's been a life sentence for me.
Thank God you are here and I have had similar bad experiences from my early childhood....My mum was not a psychopath but more narcissistic...but my own daughter grew up to become a grandiose narcissistic person... Was in my parents care for the first 5years and her own father is exactly the same! I seem to be surrounded by a number of these unhealthy familymembers so I feel very stuck and sad....I am 69 years old and sometimes I wonder why I should still be around? Love from Anne.... Denmark.
I'm sorry you've experienced that. Build yourself....seize the day!!!
Actually, there is another way of looking at this. She was implemental in you becoming a very strong and loving person. Because of her you don't look for outside sources to confirm that you are good, you are worthy of love. She, your mother taught you what you don't want, so now you know what you do want! My own mother was loving to a fault. She had faith, and would always tell me "you create your own reality". My grandmother died when my Mom was just 2 years old. She lived through an evil Stepmom and even though she didn't experience a loving mother, she knew what she had been missing and she gave that to me. I am forever grateful. Find this road, take it and run with your new life and don't look back. It's your new reality.
Anne and Karen..the world needs kind and caring people like you.! Spend your free time volunteering for those who need help and love. Your life will be so filled with satisfaction and joy!
Stay strong.
My whole family are narcissists, psychopaths or enablers. I attracted only narcissist friends and I'm completely alone now. I stay in my house and that's all. But I'm happy. I'm just happy I wasn't murdered.
They lie to your face, without even a blink.
m.facebook.com/relaxing.thoughts/ please support the Facebook page by your likes, worthy ideas as your comments and sharing
we will be there to get your back whenever you feel downgraded 💖😊😊
Don't even make difference to be honest
But they also trip all over themselves doing it oftentimes and make themselves look like the lying fools they are. No matter how much you laugh and tell them that they are stumbling and sputtering, giving themselves away, the angrier and more self entitled they become!
Honestly i think i do this but i mean no harm lol just lie to be nice to some ppl
@@elleemann Absolutely true, experienced it myself. Lived it for 30 years, so much so that I wrote a book about it "Duosimilitus & the 1/3 Principle" Lays all 3 types out very clearly.
"You will be harmed ". I've watched this one before and those words go right through me. They're ominous and true. It seems narcissists can slide back and forth on the spectrum. Frightening. They dwell amongst us. Some of us have up close and personal experience. Take Dr. C. at his word. They are dangerous. "You will be harmed ".
Not necessarily. If it's more beneficial to be nice and not harm you, then there is no reason they will hurt. At least, for Psychopaths that is.
You are SO CORRECT - !!!
They are fluid and can slide between the types of toxic personalities - predator - "merely" dismissive, etc...
So true!!
You WILL definitely be HARMED. Narcissists are energetic vampires and as such are takers. That means you will lose something. It will be a part of you. Things of yours. The worst is that they steal some of your personality, your individuality and you lose touch with reality and yourself then your own wants and needs. Your life becomes chaotic. It’s a downward spiral.
@@christar9527 Amen to that, they won't stay unless they can benefit from you. Sooner or later they will affect you in ways you wouldn't know until its over. So get ready for the damage! The best thing you could do is find them out before you get involved.
Narcacist = Dismissive must charge, rationalize, over value self, you pawn, entitlement, always right, critical, I'm better than you
Sociopath = Schemer - rules don't apply to me. I'm special. In relationship have different morality, cheating, etc. No remorse. Masks, chameleon, slick talkers.
Psychopath = Preditor enjoys inflicting pain. They have criminal mind. No compassion. People tools to be used. Must be dominant. Punishing behavior.
All three: you are beneath them. You serve narcacist. Little to no honesty. You will be harmed. Any plea for better treatment is going to be dismissed.
Sometimes, alone contains joy.
🙌🏾
And PEACE
Mostly truth, but dumb oversimplification of “stories that glamorize people who break rules”?!
The fallacy of that important statement would mean we would all still be serfs, as Americans - paying taxes to the British Royal Family, and what? God forbid going against Hitler and Stalin and the current evils?
Les needs to take a starter course in basic logic.
Yassss! So true! ❤
I wish I had of known about these different types years ago. I could have saved myself a lot of grief. And waisted years on hoping they would change.
I hear ya Sue. I spent 30 years hoping he would just love our family enough to change. He never did. I was kept on that roller coaster of normalcy and narcissistic rage. I finally understood it would never happen. He is a monster. I divorced him finally and and am reclaiming my identity and protecting our children. Go No Contact. Live by it or you will never be free.
Same here. I’m still in my nightmare. If I had money and healthcare I’d be gone. He has ruined 23 years of my life. When he saw me he found a sucker, I thought I married price charming, he has been everything but that
Same Here!......But now the future is yours to use lessons learned in a positive way,at least that is the way I have been handling it ....Good luck .....Good life!
@@speedskater5613 I hope you are doing well. I left my nightmare for good 6 months ago after 6 years, he had everything I could ever dream of and used that to isolate me. I am now 31 years old back with my grandparents, no job, no car and I am the happiest I have been, they open the door for me no matter what, he has slammed the door in my face so many times and left me to walk in front of his son that I raised. I deserve better and you deserve it. I am so sorry that you have been going through this for so long, atleast you know who he is and are under no illusions. Once I realized that I started to play the player, document everything and use it to make it through another day knowing this was part of my escape plan. Now I know what to look for. Anyway not trying to ramble but I wish you all the happiness and beautiful things in life that you deserve.
You are not alone. Since childhood I thought 95% of life was misery, cold criticism, and being invisible. We are strong. We overcome.
I wish I had understood these things decades ago. I hope young people who see this will take heed.
me too
Same here.
Veronica Doniel Me too Sister! But we know now and that’s what counts.
Yeah, 50 years of confusion. I'm glad I got the message in a bottle finally. Better late than never for sure
and all three may include addictions and the elements of this horrible disease. I have multiple family members in the spectrum, with deaths from alcohol thrown in
The manipulation by itself could kill you. The stress wears on an actual loving God fearing person.
Munipulation is like witchcraft. Its evil
@Redbirdlove, even us heathens find the manipulation stressful. Fearing God has nothing to do with it. 🙂
@@conchuk590 I beg to disagree...it's just another product of the fallen human nature...it will be righted, very soon!!!
Yes, many women get so ill and even die from the stress and hurt they do to them. Sad.
@@blusky3094 Wait, are you implying that 'faithful Christians' can't be narcissistic, sociopathic or psychopathic? Or that atheists (or believers of other faiths) can't get stress from a narcissist? You make no sense.
I learned a lot listening to explain the differences. My ex is narcissist and I didn’t know this until after I married him. He loved to make me doubt myself. He would call me crazy and say @ I didn’t tell you that!”. I felt like he was trying to make me have a nervous breakdown. He was so cruel. But I was not as weak as he tried to make me think I was. I got so tired of his crap and started speaking up. He hated that. I am divorced now and my life is so much better. So glad I got away! So glad.
My ex husband sounds like all three. It's hard to face the fact that I crawled out of that relationship barely functioning. I still struggle but am making slow progress. I was an esteemed professional. I left with nothing. I had no idea what he was doing behind my back. He put on a good show.
Do not give up! I've been separated for 3 years finally wrapping up a divorce from sociopath psychopath and narcissist. He admitted to it. He did some horrific things!
I was ready to kill myself at the end.
I hear you Gail. I'm in the same position as you. I married a Muslim man. And still recovering. They have a sickness within them that continues to grow. They will have to answer to God when they leave this world. I've learned the hard way, that when we are alone, it's God's way of protecting us. Everyone keep your heads up high. We are better then them, we have a conscience.
We don’t break up with narcissists, we escape them.
Your are a super strong and truly brave lady to have gotten out. That's was the best gift to yourself.
Before I began to watch Dr C's TH-cam channel I would have said I wasted close to 7 years with a narcissistic person, however I won't say that now. I am realizing that it's not what happened to me because a lot didn't happen to me it happened to him in the end. It boils down to what did I learn?. I learned how to recognize that type of behavior. In the midst of watching the narcissistic lunatic lose his mind and finally leave he did not take my self-esteem my self-worth or my self-confidence with him. He may have broken my heart but he did not take my heart with him either. I wish you healing. You can do it one day at a time. It has been 1 year of him having absolutely no access to me I have went totally no contact and I am healing. Thank you so much Dr. C
Discernment is the key! Lord increase our Discernment so we can recognize these predators a mile away and won’t be caught off guard!
Jareda Wishton Ameen 🌻
Jareda Wishton ABSOLUTELY.
Uh didn't your lord make mental illnesses?
Or you could just like... study them so you can recognize the traits when you seem them in someone.
That is soo true, it has saved me many times, Lord thank you for Discernment, and give us knowledge of who we are around, and keep us when we cannot see what's going on, you see all traps people use. Lord bless and KEEP US, NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST US SHALL PROSPER AND EVERY TONGUE THAT RISES AGAINST US SHALL BE CONDEMNED, those dirty rascals!
The word "Dismissive" is too weak to represent a narcissist. Better: The Manipulator
I like the word dismissive, it fits co-worker to the T!
I agree - manipulator is better or control freak!
The reason dismissive works so well as a solid description is that a narcissist will visibly dismiss you and your words so that they can plant their idea as the only idea. If they play like they can't hear you or dismiss you, then they win! Lol! I deal with this every day at my job, and she is a counselor....
All three are manipulators, that is why it is not so good. All cluster Bs are narcissistic anyway.
Yea but so is the sociopath.
I just will never understand how ones cannot care, have remorse, continually hurt and harm others. I’m an empathetic human, I’m learning how me and my granddaughters have been manipulated. My oldest had to cut her mom off, this is so sad. It can be such a traumatic situation. Causes PTSD, also, no bouncing. We’re working on this. Thank you so much for teaching so I can share and to many comments that have helped. Many blessings to many.
I understand how it happens...intellectually, but I'm with you. It's hard to understand at an emotional level how they can be this way. Sr. C
I married a psychopath, having been brought up by narc parents. I did get away, but literally had to run. And then i had the fight of my life for years, for our children. He's now in his 80's and recently had a stroke. I would never wish anyone ill.....but it's hard not to with him. Vile, evil, nasty, dangerous man.
Whatever you do, don't try to get better treatment from them.
They see this as manipulative and controlling on your part and
it will incur even more abuse from them. The only real solution
is to remove yourself from their influence. They are destructive
and dangerous to anyone else's well being.
They see you as manipulative and controlling because that's them projecting their own traits onto the other person.
Terra Amen!
@@Michael-mx3cp Yes you're right. Their goal is to destroy us for anyone else in the future. They don't want us to move on to people who are healthy and frankly better people than them.
@@Libra_Girl. yep, that is the truth, and most evil. They must own, control, and ruin others. Sure wish they could come up with something better to do... like less destructive and hateful.
@@karine7472 so true.
This is one of the best breakdowns of these disorders I've ever watched! Thank you!
It is important, as we learn in psychology, to not confuse warning signs with truth. Look for patterns of continued behavior.
Somebody having a bad day doesn’t necessarily mean the person lacks empathy. Or If someone doesn’t agree to a rule, it doesn’t mean they break almost every rule. Be careful labeling, but trust your gut regarding associations.
Manipulating and lying is a key trait in any of these categories. None of these types will do an act of generosity unselfishly.
You sound confused.
Look at what they do and say! You will never be equal!!
It's more important to guard yourself, than it is to get the abuser's label correct.
I don't have to take abuse from someone,
just because I don't have the correct nomenclature for his particular form of abuse.
And it appears as though there can be an overlapping of the narcissistic and sociopath characters. So glad I found this channel. Thank you!
Factor 2 psychopathy is common in covert narcissists.
He has another video about the narcissist sociopath. Watch that one.
I can see the traits of the sociopath and the predatory psychopath in some narcissists.
A sociopath starts out as a narcissist.
@@sarapenn6735 truth thanks for remind.
Yep, my ex is a sociopathic narcissist. Covert, and cerebral. This confirms it for me.
Mine is exactly this as well!
I've dealt with several sociopathic narcissist at work , and I've ran into the same types of sales manager for the late 3 years at different companies. I did challenged them all. But I should have cut the cord, they really stressed me. I had to take them all to the State labor Board.
Come on you guys.....you didn't have some fun before it was all over????
From my experience you are 100% correct . So much damage: emotional, psychological, financial. Ruinous . Thank you.
I experienced bankruptcy due to my relationship with a histrionic, narc, sociopath.
I love how he's to the point and not bloaded with egotistical fillers. Cold, hard facts of sociopaths/ narcissists, in a general sense.
My mother, brother in law, and grandfather. Life would have been much easier if I'd understood this many years ago. Took a lot to break free.
I ended my abusive relationship 3.5 years ago and haven't looked back. Before ending it, and in the early weeks afterwards, I listened and read about this topic. I remember thinking my ex would never do that....smear campaign, electronic stalking, threatening, deliberately using his lack of respect for authority negatively affect me...but he did EVERY SINGLE ONE. If you've been raised in an emotionally abusive family, it's almost impossible to have a point of reference for it. Your videos are among the very best at providing a stable point of reference and I thank you for all that you do. I've just ordered your book The Anger Trap 🖖🏻
Wow my narcissistic x said when we broke up lets keep everything confidential as it is private. While behind my back he was trying to make people think I was a bad person. I am so upset. I just wanted to break up in peace, but now all of the super duper ugliness is the worst I have ever seen since he couldn’t control me anymore. Ugly stuff all of the surface, manipulation lies, victim hood, I am grateful for I knew it all along. But He would hide some of it. I think sociopath is in there too because of some of the highly manipulative stuff he does. Incapable of love
Sisters from other misters! I'm glad we're all finally free. Free-ish, at least.
I was I abuse rebtionship now that I am free I what go near any man its make me very angry I what let any one up set me i had a bad live growing up in come form a rice family who didn't care about as we had to look afer Ower sife it didn't make me a socparth or narcissist I give evey thing I didn't get to my son people who are like that are socparth there brains haven't gown rigth .
nena santaella, your comments made me stop in my tracks. So glad a competent therapist made the connection that one's negative, soul-sucking, narcissistic parents set the stage for what their unfortunate offspring will gravitate toward and consider normal. Keep your chin up! xoxo
@@trudykennedy2380 Thank You. It is really not ideal for me to be living with her now. But my father was getting in worse and worse shape. I also had to deal with some health issues of my own. Between caring for his needs , his cats and my own needs I had to make the choice to live with her again. I really don't like it. But I do just like you said and just remind myself that I like the person I grew up to be. That she gets zero credit for all the good parts of me and 90% of
Credit for all the parts that are not great, like bad choices in men. My mother taught me one lesson. That a man is necessary and more important than anyone else. I think It is a lesson all girls like me MUST unlearn. I can do good or bad all by myself. Being in a relationship is not the most important thing.
I dated a guy who had alot of these same characteristics of behavior last year. I ran for the hills!!! The man was dangerous!😳
Glad you ran! Dr. C
The “Dark Triad” .....the most evil, calculating, and dangerous of all disordered!
I'm so happy you got out of that toxic relationship. The relationship is all about them and their needs, while you make all the sacrifices and compromises.
yes I'll bet you had nothing to do with it too
Good for you!
0:00 - Intro
1:39 - Narcissist - Dismissive
3:23 - Sociopath - The Schemer
6:45 - Psychopath - The Predator
8:35 - Common Themes
MrTyBinary | not all heroes wear capes.
Delta with all of these balled up in one person
hi Elaine, i agree, all in one .. wonder what the name of that demon is and how to know they’re really gone for good?
Thanks!!! ;-)
MrTyBinary can a Narcissist turn a person in to phsicopath
I'm with a Sociopath and am working through the grieving process in realizing that they aren't going to change.
I went through that. Devastating to realize you got fooled by a con who doesn't care how much you are hurt. Hopefully after this year has passed, you're in a better place.
Well I know now I’m dealing with a Sociopath. I’m in the final stage of divorce with the settlement mediation in February. I’ve been through all the blame shifting, her lack of responsibility for her cheating, lies, continued affair even after being caught red handed, love bombing and when that didn’t work, the hate mail. It’s like dealing with a 57 year old with a 12 year old’s emotions. As for feeling like a failure, I don’t but it doesn’t lessen the hurt. I felt killing my self would be easier than going through this pain, however I got help and I’m better. Not great but better.
Don't ever hurt yourself! No matter how hopeless you feel, don't do it. Breathe deep, rebuild your sanity and hold on! Talk to someone you trust....or even a complete stranger. Sometimes it's easier to confide to a stranger than to familiar faces. Reach out, don't let the darkness eat you up. Don't let them isolate you and weaken you.
If you need to talk, I'll always have an ear to lend. Take care and don't give up!❤
I am sorry you had to go through that.I have been hated a lot for not putting up with bullshit.It's just not worth suffering the fools.Please don't think about harming yourself.People like your wife are good at creating chaos,it is their heaven.Don't give into drama and distance yourself from her.Do not react and give her the chance to attack you.I hope you find peace.
I am so sorry you are going through this, Rick. It can't be easy and you must be hurting terribly. Talk to Jesus about your feelings and your situation; he will help you. God bless.
Stay strong Rick 💓
You are no longer a victim 🙏
It does get better the longer your no contact and the farther away in time it goes...
Don't worry your gonna make it!
You are a very intelligent man. Yes, it's unbelievable that people and society glamorize the so called bad boys/girls, those who get away with bad things.
Yeah, like the man in the White House.
I wish He would replace Dr Phill ..
davidelias13 And sadly it’s not going anywhere. People have done it for eons. It’s all about perspective- look at people in wars since the beginning of time- people that were brutal were the highest honored in many societies. Our society had problems with people glamorizing Bonnie and Clyde....probably group-thinking with sympathy for the cause of these people doing bad things (being poor, abused in childhood etc...) they can relate to the bad things leading up to their crimes then they like the idea of feeling powerful which I’m sure criminals feel before they get caught/dead...It seems to be the more primitive side of all people. Sadly it does seem to be getting worse. Perhaps Christ’s return is sooner than we think.
It's not unbelievable, it's inevitable, it is a feature of many of the classic novels through out history, the exciting rebellious character.
@@andyd6338 Absolutely true. I wrote a book about it because I lived it for 30 years. Highly recommend it "Duosimilitus & the 1/3 Principle".
Thank you so much for this Valuable information.
I have worked as a RN in a mental health facility for years and I have witnessed all types of behavior. The behavior that bothers me the most is the pathological lair with manipulation. These people are very dangerous and the average person is clueless what they are capable of. I have been involved with the DA's office and it appalls me that these type of people are NOT a concern, unless there is violence involved. A narcissist, sociopath, psychopath are experts at playing mind games to those who are unaware of their behavior and innocent people are being seriously harmed. The Police Dept and the DA's office DO NOT CARE about mind games, only violence! Maybe if the DA and PD dept would change their minds about mental illness, became more educated about the disease process, how to identify and help these people, maybe the dreadful killings we hear about everyday would start to decline!!
Truth.
My mentally ill adult son was taken to the hospital. The doctor's report concluded that he suffered from a concussion, sexual assault and assault by his girlfriend. She wasn't the one that was harmed. She realized what she had done when his face was bleeding and rushed to the police to file a false report. He was NOT ALLOWED to press charges, not sure if it was because she beat him to the DA's office since she wasn't in the ER, I guess she could.. If you guessed we are in KY, you'd be right.
I agree totally!
I have personally known all 3 types, and I do have wounds, but I am healing. I am now free of all of that chaos, and thanks to you Dr. Les, and others who help and support us all, I am learning how to avoid engaging in such dangerous relationships in the future! Bless you! 💕
Me too!
This will be the future norm. And the 'normal' will become 'unhealthy'. Unless people wake up.
Yeah... unless society changes radically and people stop spoiling their kids rotten.
kbh prinsesse you are so right. I work with children and it’s getting worse ;(
@@tallisinwonderland4724 It's a very sad development that has been taking place for about 25 - 30 years. When you meet spoiled children, you can to some degree feel sorry for them, because no matter how annoying their behaviour may be, it is obvious that it is their parents' fault for not bring them up properly, setting the appropriate limits for them etc. But when these spoiled/let-down curling children become adults, they are just annoying period - I mean, it can be quite tiring have to parent grown-ups, something that their parents should have done. Especially because most of them are too stuck up to respond politely.
kbh prinsesse I know, so much behaviour now is ego driven and it’s not good for society. We now have a thing in England where asking a child to do something can be seen as coercive control and people are actually on tv arguing about whether grand parents should ask if it’s ok to hug their grandchild (ask the child) I get where it’s coming from but we are going to breed a load of spoiled kids who cannot cope with anything they don’t like and don’t understand spontaneous affection which is one of the things that makes us human. Maybe I’m old fashioned, I don’t know :(
There’s the reason why Q calls this “The Great Awakening.”
Thank you for identifying the differences, Dr. Les. I just got rid of a psychopath I was in "relationship" with for eight years. I'm a survivor, so I'm trying to go easy on myself for being manipulated for so long.
Your videos are a comfort and validation. Thanks for making them ☺️
Much peace to all~
This is such an important message and I love how you don't mince words. This needs to be heard loud and clear. Yes, YOU WILL BE HARMED and YOUR PLEAS WILL BE DISMISSED. These two realities are critically important. Thank you. What a wonderful service you're doing sharing your knowledge, experience and wisdom with everyone in this way. I don't mince words either when I directly state YOU ARE SAVING LIVES. One video at a time, your hard work and effort involved in getting these important lessons out to those who need to hear them most will forever be appreciated. Thank you. 😊
Your sentiment," You Exist to be Exploited! " wow...this resonates!!
My ex was all three: scheming, predator, and narcissist. Young women should be educated about this. It is very confusing if you don't know what is going on.
All people should be educated. It’s not gender specific.
Correct. A female relative is the most unabashed narcissist (probably redundant) I know. It may be that many women confuse male narcissism with an appealing confidence, while men are scared off by women who straddle the narcissism/confidence line, but it's foolish to believe that these behaviors, from the troubling to the dangerous, are gender specific. They're not, as Jackie says. One point Dr. Les might have emphasized is that a narcissist and even a sociopath may not only be intelligent but may also be quite successful at work. You may find them as domineering, humiliating bosses who take credit for your work. The psychopath has a harder time with success because of the tendency toward frightening outbursts or even physical threats. Finally, even within each category there's a range. Most people have tiny nuggets of narcissism but thankfully fall short of full-blown narcissism. Especially troubling are the low-end psychopaths who manage to fit into the work world and reach positions of power. Any casual read of 20th-century history or current politics demonstrates that sad truth.
ABSOLUTELY
I know a person like that too
😢😢😢
What's scary is that they appear normal and some have great careers so knowing the signs will help recognizing the NARC!
For just shy of twenty years, I was married to a lying, cheating, addictive, mentally and physically abusive sociopath - yours was a near-perfect description. Through online dating, I recently met a man that I thought I was going to connect strongly with and yet, after just one date, I realized that he is (at the very least) a narcissist. I shut that down pretty quickly and now, watching him from afar (we are still in each other's social circle) I know I made the right move. At the tender age of 48, I'm finally learning lol.
Your best thinking doesn't even begin until you pass 40, and even then, it usually follows painful experiences. Dr. C
Surviving Narcissism then I should end up extremely wise 😉
What a beautiful reminder of how important it is to move on from a very difficult experience/relationship in life. Thank you!
Lula Bella,Hope you are with a good man!
You have described my ex-husband to a T. Unfortunately I spent 17 years with this "person" which imparted much emotional damage.
It took me several years to heal but I'm happy to say that I have been healed. God has "restored my soul" Psalm 23
My mother is all 3 ... no joke ... I use to need help when I was a child but I survived her now I’m no contact
Toni Johnson my mom in #1.
Same story here. I cut off all contact with my mother more than 20 years ago -- she's simply too toxic to deal with.
The NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) mom is a nightmare for any child.
My mom is one of these- I thought narcissist but now I’m wondering if sociopathic. I was once told she is probably a sociopath. I’ve been contemplating no contact for years but I can’t help but feel guilty about it and uneasy. I actually get scared of what she would do. Best case scenario is I do it when I move so she can’t follow me as easily. At least she can’t pull strings like she used to but she manages to cause a lot of drama and anxiety either way.
Theonlyonestanding I try to keep contact with my mother (narcissist or sociopath not sure...very childish so probably narcissist). I feel guilty thinking of no contact because she could have been much worse and we have SOME good times (1/10 the time lol) But she is exhausting to deal with and we have to keep our walls up as to not be manipulated into dangerous situations again. She’s gotten worse as she ages- she just happens to live far away but wants to move close as possible. I’m fearful of what she would do if she could find us after no contact...If she’s a narcissist then at least she would probably figure I don’t deserve her and would make up lies to her friends lol 😂
A narcissist, 40 years ago said to me, because of his breeding his blood was of superior quality to mine.
I immediately thought he was nuts.
Wow! That's delusional. Dr. C
There actually are people bred with fallen angel dna purposely. They control the world covertly. Pray for how to safely detach from these types. ❤
That reminds me of my stepfather when we laughed at his thin legs he retorted "You can't fatten a thoroughbred"!! He always had an answer to make himself superior and criticized flaws and faults in our appearance or intelligence. I noticed his way of signing his name with a very fancy 'G' it had a hook and a flick and I learned it's called a Felon's Hook a trademark of criminals and psychopaths. I do believe he was a psychopath capable of anything.
Was he a Cocker Spaniel?
Yes...my narc often said..."when I become ruler of the universe....."...thought it was funny at first but started realizing....he said it as a joke but he really believed he was above everyone else.
It seems to me that narcissists and sociopaths can be fun to be around casually (fun at a party), but you wouldn't want your best friend married to one. Nor would you really want any kind of close relationship, even friendship, with one. Psychopaths outright dangerous.
Actually, in reality, the sociopath is more proned to violence.
The stbxh who is malignant narc/sociopath broke up his "best friends" marriage and the wife and narc are cousins! They have no loyalty, conscience, shame or guilt. It is absolutely disgusting watching the incest fest. I also found out he was grooming my gay nephew and was having an affair behind my back with him.
@Ryan Meredith I totally agree! In my experience, they seem to do more catastrophic damage to anyone close to them or that get in their sights. And most people don't understand or even know there are people like this, especially when it's a co-worker, friend, family member or spouse. It's really hard to wrap your mind around their logic, intentions and behavior.
Flemish Templar There is a saying that Psychopaths rarely go to jail; it is the Sociopath who carries out her work who goes to jail. My understanding is that the Sociopath is a product of her environment, but that the Psychopath does not even light up parts of the brain during a Functional MRI. Yikes!
Ryan Meredith I have to disagree. I’ve found that although neither has empathy nor good intentions, the Psychopath is more intelligent, clever and even under the radar in her accomplishments of destruction and evil. Sociopaths tend to act out, in my opinion.
Sadly most people have to learn about them the hardest way before they learn how to strongly avoid them. I have no friends or family left and this is just fine with me.
Love to you, Dr C. Thank you for helping us untangle all of the confusion and madness in our heads about what is happening in our lives. I hope to be of help to others someday. All this pain and suffering should not be for nothing.. I hope that God calls me to use these past 20 years of abuse to help someone else.
You will sweetie! My mother spent 27 years in absolute terror and misery...but she's a lioness! Because of her I'm still alive and able to stand up for myself. She always helps and gives her love to those around her and even strangers. Same goes with me, if I didn't have the father I have, I wouldn't be able to have this understanding and strength to defend and help others. Stay strong and share your love and wisdom! Wish you all the best!
Absolutely! I think I subconsciously went into psychology for that reason.
You will find opportunities to help people placed in your path, no matter what your path, you will be a blessing to others!
There are many types of healing arts as well.
Best of luck to you! ❤❤❤❤
@@Julie_Serenity That's a beautiful outlook! Many blessings to you.
@@gymnast2890 Thank you so much! 😊 I also wanted to study psychology for the same reasons, and even though I studied something else, I still want to become a therapist one day. I wish you a beautiful, happy, productive life! This world needs more people like you! 💜
K K your pain has not been for nothing. You are so much more then the pain. Your comment helped me.
I survived a marriage to a sociopath or psychopath. Im alive.
Sara Draper-Wessels I survived with narc, sociopath and psychopath all in one. Barely made it out alive, but hung in there for my children. All that matters is that we made it out. 🙌🏼
Sara Draper-Wessels 🌹
If he kept you sweet and then did disgusting things that's a sociopath, if you had concerns about your safety, the other. It's best just to say goodbye. Nomatter how much they want you in their life LMAO! Good luck
@@moneynews4333 - Oh, if only "goodbye" would do! It's far, far more dangerous than that! She's alive and she's lucky. I hope she recovers well.
@@Meowminx - Glad you made it, but hanging in there for the children did not benefit them at all. I don't know the details of your circumstances, but I can't help but think that was a very bad decision that most likely harmed your children, not to mention you.
Very useful. Where was this guy in the 80s when I allowed people like this to get away with a lot? The charm and ability to read who is vulnerable and who can be taken advantage is spot on. I don't want to get morally high and mighty about myself as I am not perfect. However, videos like this make me realize my own flaws as well as others. Not being equipped with this information back when I was young led to me allowing people repeated opportunities to stay in my life. They always believed they would be forgiven no matter what....and I almost always did. Lesson learned. At least I can help my kids handle these situations differently. Stay safe everyone.
Sounds like me, dude. Maybe all of us. But even now we are experienced, can we spot a lovebombing from a genuinely interested person? I just refuse everyone, now. UNFUCKWITHABLE :)
Yep, they just love, good, forgiving people, to walk all over.. & constantly apologizing for their bad behavior! Sorry you had to go through it too! I wish I had this info. back in the 80's As well! 👍😊
The narcissists actually feels the opposite. “I hate myself, I want to be you but because I can’t be you and have what you have I have to destroy you.” Narcissists are extremely needy. Sociopaths are sloppy. Psychopaths are smooth.
Yes. I didn’t get why he said that.
Stop flattering them. They’re about as smooth as a bowl of gruel.
There is no difference between narcissism and controlling. They are never happy unless things go the way they want.
Rick Myres,How are you man?
@@christianpulisic7784 I am OK thank you for asking.
@@hotwaterintub1 You are welcome.I am Christian from the States.You?
@@christianpulisic7784 I am a born again Christian because Jesus called my name to His salvation.
@@hotwaterintub1 Which country are you from?
You hit the nail on the head when you said that they are like a little child with an undeveloped conscience!!!! Arguing with one feels just like arguing with a little kid!!! haha
Wow sounds like my sons girlfriend. All the signs. Its frustrating.😞
You're wrong because many are quite intelligent.
And as they grow older, using the same behaviour cyclically, it get's harder to deal with. Make not the mistake that once you have them sussed, that it is easier. It is not.
@@noahjones8616They are super clever at their deskjob, but he is talking about a social conscience, empathy and how they FEEL about their place in the world which is another ballgame.
Narcissism: Beneath is a futile attempt at self love which ends in self hate.We are incapable of the proper love of self that we rightfully need as human beings. Only God can love us as we need to be loved.He is perfect love.We lack.It is a gross insult to our feeble attempts at self love, and our pride in these self generated efforts. They end in futility, self righteousness, isolation, and self hate, really. We must resign all pride, relax, relinquish ourselves to the only wise God, and let Him love us.This He will do if entrusted so to do.
This subject should be included and or part demanded by all governments before graduating from high school. This information is very important to learn as well as any type of a broken criminal system. Vulnerables without a system support and family support are the easy targets for this type of in-humans.
I agree! It's more important than learning to sew a pillow! 😉
Not taught life skills or about credit!! BUT we think we can change them if you understand them!!! GET OUT!
The government is mostly run by psychopaths and narcs so good luck with that?
That would blow their cover.😂
Government IS a criminal narcissist cabal.
I married and then divorced someone who has every single one of these traits, but never attacks physically. He now is emotionally abusing my children and are isolating them from me. Everyday it is a new rule. I have spent years in therapy to just get away from this mad man, but he still continues to have complete control over my three children. My children are so afraid to speak up because they know their father will just cause more pain. He completely brainwashes them. He is a true monster but appears to be "number one dad." I feel like I sold my soul to the devil when I married him. To top it all off, his brother is a pastor of a large church in Cranberry Twp, PA and his nickname is , Baby Jesus. If only people knew the truth.
I believe you. This is exactly what psychopaths do. I hope you and your children will find a way to escape this monster! Pray to God, and believe in yourself! Dont let him or anyone else question your sanity! You're absolutely right about him.
I m down the road a bit from you Kara Nuzzo. Stop trying to play tug of war with him over your children. Take the time to slow down, catch your breath and just do this one thing and it will help you. Take the time and show your children who you are as their Mother. Show them guidance by being a positive person. Do not bitch about him to them, that can crush them. At sometime down the road as they get older they will pull away from him. They will value who and what they are when they remember good things you do with them. Good memories of you and the love you give them will always stay with them. That will be $ 10.00 in the feel good jar, for you. Love yourself!!!
Kara i will pray for you and your kids. I relate. I have one and was discarded by him but didnt know he was a covert narc.... He continues to give me hell and harm me and my daughter emotionally though he plays in the church band and acts as though hes a saint...:(
Thank You So Very Much For Sharing Narcissists Don't Care About You As An Individual. They Have No Humanity No Morals No Shame..No Loyalty No Integrity.These Ppl Are Incredibly
Dangerous
Demetria Gaines I agree!!
SONA Awareness Thank You
Agree. My brother is a narcissist
The Libertarian party describe rolled all in 3.
EXCELLENT info!! My last boss had half of the symptoms of a sociopath. Her behaviour was baffling to me, and she was terrible to work for. Thanks for clearing up that mystery.
Haha, I could have written that! Not to one-up you, but my last boss (who like yours was a woman who was terrible to work for) AND the one before that, a man who was more of a covertly sociopathic narcissist, seem to have colluded to bring me down.
Still a mystery with my boyfriend of 2 yrs on which one(i can't seem to catch him cheating on me) but either way it seems i need to run but it's such a hard decision
I think the higher people rise in power, either corporate or political, the more of these traits they have.
I had to make my escape as soon as the demon possessed fool was out of sight Thanks to the most high for his grace mercy forgiveness and protection for myself and my children We escaped with our lives The devil seeks to steal kill and destroy
I'm 68, I would have needed this is high school, even junior high
The sooner the better, if you might even find one or two in your own family
Which sets us up for meeting the next abuser, cuz this. Is what we're used to
Pray and meditate, they don't like God we are His creations and the narc hates us
They are are perfect lesson.....Don't pick up narcissitic fleas!!!
Love and hugs from Oregon
Your communication style puts a person at ease while also getting to the point. Thank you, Liked, Shared and Subscribed with a Rung Bell :)
Ex bf was working security and due to that he had to drive a lot during the night. One day when he came back he told me how he hit a cat on the motorway while driving. He proceeded to a VERY detailed description of the incident almost as if he had still images in his head. He told me about "the fear that he saw in the cats face" , the cats momevents during the hit, the condition of the body after, the furr left on the car every single little disturbing detail. Then he said that he felt the responsibility on taking a life and he seemed almost proud. At the end he said he felt sorry for the owner that would look for his cat in the morning and i saw him trying to hold a laugh while trying to appear sad. After that i had to stop fooling myself that this guy was normal. I had spent 3 years getting abused and gashlighted and lied to and all the rest but that was sort of waking up call. There was something very very creepy in the way he described the whole thing and his demeanour
(( big HUG )) Ella.
I too know what this kind of situation feels like (presuming that you feel the same way as I do about stuff like this).
How fast did you run?
Yeah I have been through this, the girl I was with was very proud of being violent, though she is only 5 foot tall. And she took pride in telling stories of previous lovers who just lost their minds and had to leave their education because of her
@@angelbythewings 4'11" tall or so, 90 lbs soaking wet, one erin mccaffey slaughtered her entire family, in texas, look up the case. Total narcissistic sociopath. Just cuz they are tiny dont mean they aint capable of overwhelming evil...my narc is 5' tall also, 90 lbs, and evil to the core, yes, she is...most evil.
Elia Ya think?
A timeless gift to all that sit in front the screen seeking another chapter of understanding toxic personalitys and ourselves. I think down the road up and out of someone else's issues that were needlessly, naively absorbed, you get a increased value once out of the brain fog.
Thanks, Brad! Dr. C
I believe all presidential candidates should have a psychological evaluation before running for the position of Commander-in-chief. And every year thereafter.
4UCarla That would have nixed Barack Obama. Classic narcissist. How about a mental health check up too?? I’m really worried about Uncle Joe. 🙄
Shawna Marie Bloom , that’s a matter of opinion, isn’t it? And I don’t recall mentioning any specific president.
4UCarla well, that horse has left the barn. We have a sociopathic, narcissistic, psychopath in the White House. He checks every box for Sociopathic, Psychopath, malignant narcissist and we can thank the dumbasses who voted for him.
@@stevewise1656, you will get no argument from me, Steve.
4UCarla Stay safe and avoid seeing his face or hearing his word salad sentences. It’s unfathomable to watch the rate at which this man, McConnell who is psychopathic, this Administration and their supporters are destroying this country.
Thanks Dr. Carter. What I find scary is how outwardly charming all three types can present themselves. And I agree with you about media that glamorizes manipulators and predators. It's all interesting as a passive viewer until a narcissist or a psychopath destroys or attempts to destroy your life (or take your life). It's not entertaining when it's you. At least that's my perspective and experience.
Mine, too. I don't want them to have the satisfaction of taking my life...which they seem so anxious to do. They are sick, demonic people.
Yes, very charming and manipulative
Good point Carla. Just a side note, your name is The Destructor? Did you know you can change your name easily on TH-cam if you ever want to
Andrea Sanford Satan was a charmer from the start, in the garden of Eden. The father of all lies. They are the children of Satan
@@texuztweety Thanks for telling; I would like to change mine. Please, how does one do it?
Wouldn't it be nice if these people could wear signs so we know to stay away.
I so WISH THEY DID!!!!!
We do wear signs, or labels. Learn to look for them. Some are obvious, some are not. Decades ago one of my narcissistic brothers said, "People don't have labels." I never forgot that and l proceeded to learn about psychology. We really do have labels. You may or may not like what you find, but learn to read the label.
They may not wear labels but we know something isn't right. I did anyway.
However, I choose to dismiss the signs The Most High showed me. The many many warnings signs and red flags.
The day before our wedding, (big red flag). Six months before our engagement (big red flag). The second year as a couple (hugh red flag). Deep breathes.
I allowed a minipulating liar and abuser to rope me back into a vicious cycle of chaos we call our life.
I'm just now able to put a name to his unstable mental condition. But I always knew something wasn't rt w my husband.
Maybe he'll want to get some help again. (He sought out therapy before.) I just don't know if I'm gonna stick around to find out.
He's a very hard man to live w.
@@bentnotbroken4192 - There's no law against divorce. Why do you stay? Leave; get away.
@Tara C I've been telling myself to run for years. But I always let him back in.
I have an exit plan. I just never had the courage to see it through. Your story though, it's been a real wake up call. Thank you for sharing.
I know I have to leave. My gut is saying so. I just found an apartment. I need strength to pull this off.
I'm so sorry about how you've been treated. This planet is filled w evil demons called narcs
I love your videos Dr Carter. It feels like we're having a very laid back and easy conversation about something that is ugly. You have a way of putting it that makes it understandable and increases my confidence. Thank you!
Gail Anderson,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌷,hope you are not with a narc 😈 in your life!
WOW. This was what i always tried to figure out. I knew or rather sensed danger in spite of the charisma and seeming concern and i have finally learned to act on my intuition..and escaped both a sociopathic friend and a psychopath i lived with 23 years. You have confirmed all my hidden fears and anxieties. They are both blocked. A simple thank you is all i can say but I say it with all my heart. You are a blessing from the spiritual world.
Thank you Dr. Carter, you cannot imagine how your information have helped me. God bless you always.
Sign of a great Doctor? One who can break it down for anyone to be able to understand. Thank you so much for all of your priceless help!
I have been an overtly happy man my whole life.This seems to be like a magnet for the most extreme narc. They prey on baiting the victim into volunteering to walk the plank.
Source of nice supply to bring down an feed on
I agree, and concur!! Very astute, and your verbal style has a disticnt gleam, as if polished by engaging with the parasitic parana.
Happy trails brother...
my dearest dr. i learn so much from you!! your help is much appreciated. i was raised by a mother like this and being an extremely sensitive and intuitive person i knew from a very young age there was something wrong with my mom. i thought that there was a witch that lived inside my mom that would torment my sister and i on an almost daily basis and this gave me nightmares almost every night. i immediately understood what you said about narcissists putting others in harm's way. my sister and i were quite close in age. when my mom realized the attention she got from others, including her friends, when my sister and i became attractive teenagers she took full advantage of this as her image and being perceived as perfect meant everything to her. she would take us to greece in the summer and 'pushed' us to go out with older men as this seemed to 'flatter' her. from a young age we were tormented by her obsession that we must remain virgins or no man would ever marry us and were also prohibited from talking on the phone with them. in greece these the rules seemed to disappear as even though she frowned on sexual activity she was dismissive when we told her about feeling discomfort and embarassment when these men attempted to hold our hand or grabbed our breasts, etc. we were told that these were "real men" and to just go along with it. it was as though she were living her non-existent teenagehood through us!! another time i told her i was attacked by one of these men (we were also encouraged to go out with greek men in our city and she would buy us clothing to "win" us over) but she convinced my dad (he was passive towards her) to talk to me as i was lying to get out of a date!!). over time i realized that not only was this cruel woman harmful to us mentally with her incessant words of abuse on a daily basis (many taking on a sexual tone at a young age which i must deal with even today in my 50's) but she didn't even care about our physical safety!! i knew it was time to cut her off (after many tries because admitting that you never truly had a mom was one of hardest things i had to face) when she began treating my son in a manner i found unsatisfactory. i couldn't protect myself when i was a child but i could certainly protect my child!! i apologize if there are spelling or grammar errors but i can't bear to proofread this as i haven't thought about this for awhile. i am, however much better without this deeply troubled person in my life. the things i have gone through with this woman my dearest doctor and readers would make your skin crawl. putting a name to her illness makes me feel better as i thought that either i was making it more of an issue in my mind than it really was (i was also told this by her and my sister who also turned out to be like my mom) or that her illness had no name because i found it impossible to believe that other mothers could be so cruel to their own flesh and blood. you have given me wonderful information, dr.!!
I learned SO MUCH from your video, Sir. You are spot-on!
I was vulnerable, and “fooled”, and suffered mental abuse...
I am so sad our only son, in his 20’s have these traits... therefore, cannot find a lasting relationship with the girls he dates. He refuses therapy.
Thank you for an Excellent video explanation.
Judy Bunch I have the same situation. I am urging my son to get into therapy and eventually seek the Lord's divine intervention. I find Christianity as a great weapon against narcissism. Blessings to you.
Judy bunch I am so with you. Those traits are far-reaching. And I really don't think psychologists always know because they are very often themselves Psychopaths. Obviously not all, but I ran into a doozy
Therapy doesn't work, they even drive them crazy
Don't worry. If he is narcissist, he will be fine. They don't have problem with other people, its only the other way around.
Me too, @Judy Bunch. And I also find prayer as a comforting tool, but it breaks my heart that my own son may not ever have truly deep and loving relationships. Only occasionally do I see a soft side of him revealed, but it diminishes as quickly as it surfaces. My husband who has Aspergers is clueless, so it's very difficult for all of us. 🤷♀️🙏😢
My ex boyfriend exhibited all three levels described here. I was in constant battle calling him out on his behavior. 12 years later? Just now he is under medication and in therapy. However a NPD only tries to become a better person to be able to polish their game or gain more with new charming skills. You will never be appreciated by one find someone who wants to spoil you and cherish and treat you as you truly deserve to be loved.
Sonja Bates,You look stunning 🌹🌷🌷,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!
my father was a sociopath. my sister is a sociopath. and my ex-husband is a sociopath. the harm and damage that they did to me is extensive. I appreciate your videos. thank you.
j m You didn't choose your family but why did you choose a spouse who is a psychopath? Did you want to continue experiencing pain because you don't like change?
MissJonesForever
sociopath not psychopath.
j m no, that's incorrect LOL Sociopath is a current official definition. Psychopath is no longer used. But it means the same thing. Just like imbecile or cretin no longer used but it used to be an official name for people with mental retardation or as current called, learning difficulties or learning impaired. Check Bob Gate's book. He explains that word psychopath is a name used in popular culture only but not in an official Psychiatry books today
MissJonesForever
No. 2 different things.
I’m still healing after my last bout with a sociopath. The difficult part is to identify the sociopath early on in the relationship so you get out before you are so enmeshed that it’s hard to leave.
The red flags are always there. One needs to pay attention because the narc's are charmers
I was discarded on Christmas by the sociopath. I’m so glad it’s over. I fell into so much sin when I was with him but now I’m doing way better. I couldn’t figure out why I was acting out in such bad behaviors. I know that i made the choice to do those but still it’s weird that now all of a sudden I’m not in sin. Another thing I remember about him is that he said, “if your family is drinking and it bothers you and you sin because of it then they should stop drinking.” I can’t believe I fell for that crap. Yeah blame others for my own faults. He also was unable to handle situations I brought up to him and questioned him about. Would say he’s for homeless people and knew I was homeless but then joke about homeless people like it was okay. He also talked about his friends in past tense. The guy had no friends he hung out with old people, children, and his mother. 🤦🏽♀️🙄
@@if131 The red flags are there, but unless you really understand how they operate and yes, pay attention, they can easily draw you into their web of lies.
@@mariahconklin4150 I’m sorry that happened to you. I found it so helpful to watch videos about how they operate. Another thing that helped me was really valuing myself. If I value myself, I’ll be much less likely to fall for their manipulation. I’ll be able to identify sociopaths and narcissists much more quickly.
@@dazzlingdeb8427 I’m good! I’m regaining confidence in myself after only a couple of days and putting God first. I’m also seeing what I did wrong in the relationship also. Only problem is that I feel so disconnected from people.
The narcissist picks those who they know they can deceive, the kind merciful ones. They also know their victim will carry the narcissist's guilt and their own perceived guilt with them to void out any abuse of the narcissist. There was a person who experienced this exact thing, felt sorry for the poor abuser narcissist, then found out the narcissist had been lying the entire length of their marriage which was in the process of dissolving. That merciful spirit which took on the narcissist's guilt no longer was there.
Hope you find it enlightening. Dr. C
Working with a narcissist was quiet a challenge. I tried to fix her taking some abuse and letting her learn by example. I encountered a concrete wall of irreverence, arrogance and lack of empathy. Everyone wanted to distance themselves from her, she was toxic, authoritarian, unapologetic and plain rude. I felt sorry because I saw the personality disorders she could never accept she had. I don't feel guilt by leaving her side, I did it for my own sanity sake. I feel sorry and disappointed I couldn't helped her. She has a terrible reputation in this town, among her "clients", family and church congregation according to my research. She has a violent road rage, she is impatient and complains about everything at every business. PENELOPE LAMBSON, we are never guilty of other people's unresolved anger and resentment issues. Sometimes you just have to say good bye to those who hold you hostage because of your kind, emphatic soul.
Hey Ron, I worked with a narc it was a horrible experience. She was.a critical and calculated person when it came to weekly meetings,.she belittled and crapped over everyone's ideas, and they were all pointless to her.
When I had a folder thrown at me, I looked for another job day and night. It was such a relief to miss work to go through other job interviews.when I got another position, I left at the end of the week, I didn't give a 2 weeks notice. I have nightmares of this boss when in her employment and when I saw her at our local Walmart I went to another lane to shop, I didn't want to be in eye sight. Not so much that I was afraid of her, but afraid of my own anger as to how I would react. They never replaced my position, with anyone else because they knew the trouble was from the top down. I was the 5 th person who had resigned, or quit.
On the other side, I love my new job. My co workers are amazing and my bosses are terrific. Work and business narcs are the worst, because it's the 40+ hours you spend with them and it's influences your money, health and spirit. I honestly could handle a narcy husband over a narcy business partner or work place supervisor. Work narcs are the worst! Dr Carter needs a video of workplace narcs...
Good for you dear. If you come in eye contact with her, she probably won't even look at you because you were the "defected" one. Her fantastic pride blinds her cognitive and rational understanding. Living in a delusional world of her own where no one else matters. We fight our daily battles with "normal" people to let dysfunctional individuals steal our love for life.
Roncaglia G are you sure it was a real woman and not a secret transgender? Those can be quite nasty because of raging hormones. Many of them are transgendered as little kids without their consent and go nuts when they get older. Castration removes their ability to go through normal puberty and insufficient testosterone and constant feeling of frustration drives them up the wall
@@LoveAsianCulture now that's rude to transgender people. Most transgender people aren't like that, that's just what you see online.
Glad that you left her.
Dr. Carter: After watching this video, I had a good healing cry. I wish I could comment here on the details of what I am dealing with. I am a childhood sexual abuse survivor, but there are other dynamics in my family that are even more perplexing. That's as far as I can go with that in a public forum but just know that this was probably the most valuable video I have watched, and of more value than the books that I have read in the past year as I have tried to figure out my situation. As I said good-bye to my husband for our day's work, he said to me, "You are healing! I can tell!" Thank you for your insight that has played a part in that.
Very meaningful. Thanks for sharing. Dr. C
(( hug ))
@@angelinasouren Thank you.
Deb Hadden (((((hugs)))))
Thank you for describing the difference between these illnesses. It’s hard to find a clear picture. Now I know that my husband was for sure “just” a malignant narcissist.
I've got enough distance on a toxic relationship I had with someone on this spectrum of illness that I can say: This would be a good guide to understanding teenagers and politicians.
Opposed to if you didn't have distance you wouldn't say it? Lmfao
Thank you so much Dr. Les! This was so helpful. I knew my ex-husband was a narcissist, but I also think he is a sociopath. So glad I left him, my life is much healthier now.
How would you know for sure
Dr. Carter knows Narcissists inside out, and upside down.
He is impressive, I must say.
I was married to a narcissist for 25 years - not an easy to leave a very controlling and manipulative person. Aside from his endless spending, verbal abuse, drinking and many other horrible qualities; his extra-marital affairs were endless and they were always MY Fault. The unfortunate part, he had the incredible ability to make me believe HE was right and I would faithfully apologize for being so ugly and forcing him to go out with other women. Getting a divorce and seeking professional help was the best gift I have ever given myself. I've been sane for 20 years now!!! Awesome videos, I hope others discover them prior to dating or marrying these type of personalities.
Thank you Dr. Carter. Very informative. They all cause harm!
Jill Yes, Jill, so true!
I think the idea Dr. Carter touched on about society's infatuation with the "bad boy/girl" is important. Society has embraced individualism so much that in entertainment it is no longer the "white hat" that is looked up to but the criminal. It is almost as if society has become the evil entity and these borderline criminals are the saviors. In music, movies and novels it has become more and more about fighting the "system" rather than the individuals who make the system evil.
I really like this video and highly recommend it for anyone trying to deal with such difficult people. The terms and concepts are easy to remember and help us to understand the distinctions between a narcissist, a sociopath, and a psychopath.
I wish I could join but was recently laid off from my job of nearly 10 years (library) that I LOVED. Filed for unemployment but haven't received a dime...savings should be gone soon. Heard from a man whose son killed himself recently there have been more suicides in the last 9 months in their county than all the suicides in the past 30 years combined. I like your Healthy Mind channel because it's desperately needed in today's upside down world. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORKS.
This is very enlightening. I've come to the conclusion that my brother is a sociopathic (if that's a word) narcissist. I'd like to add that he is also a pathological liar. To say that he is evil is an understatement.
Sounds to me like you are describing POLITICIANS.
Cops on the street too. We are all pawns for a report to a purpose.
💯🙏
Yes.Politicians work for the bankers not the people.
People vote for capital. That is why it’s called capitalism
The president for sure.
Sociopaths do not always have a covetous nature - some are very differently motivated - but when lack of conscience and covetousness occur together in the same individual, a fascinating and frightening picture emerges. Since it is simply not possible to steal and have for oneself the most valuable ‘possessions’ of another person - beauty, intelligence, success, a strong character - the covetous sociopath settles for besmirching or damaging enviable qualities in others so that they will not have them, either, or at least not be able to enjoy them so much
u r so awesomely I thought I was really going crazy because of my narcissists' mother-in-law of 40 years. I felt very trapped by her mean ways with me I realize now she is just sick and cut ties all together except family functions. I have never felt more alive and am healing every day. thanks for all your educational videos. somewhere in Texas
I'm 52 and just realizing that I have not been with a "normal" person yet! Sociopaths and Narcissists everyone of them !( perhaps a psycho or two, but they were very young and I got away). I'm finding this series very enlightening. Thank you.
It’s not something I readily admit, but I’ve been diagnosed as a sociopath (ASPD). The traits sum me up perfectly, so you’re definitely getting it right. Feel free to ask questions, I’ve decided it’s better to be open about it for educational purposes, but the traits I display cannot be controlled, it’s a natural instinct. My childhood was extremely difficult, which is what lead my brain to develop the way it did
sbeverunner 60 Can you give some tips to spot sociopaths and psychopaths? What are some easy signs?
I forgot to mention, that my siblings have high positions in society as well as my ex husband (lawyer) and they seem totally normal and funny and people like their charming ways. They seem like gentlemen and this is the way conartists work and no one would believe me. God bless.
very common. many of these individuals do have high positions in society, and indeed get there because of many of these traits, and how deceiving they are. peace
Love the way you put the SIMILARITIES of the Narcissist, the Sociopath, and the Psychopath in a nutshell---very uncomplicated and simply put for such a complex subject!!! Thank You!!
You're very welcome
These explanations sounds like the people in Government today.
Government? What government...
Oh yeah😒
The people always reflect their government
@@hchayes9431 Most governments !
When he started talking, I said out loud ‘That sounds like people in government ,’although there are good ones too
I've lived with a narcissist/sociopath for 28 years (I'm an empath) ... I was highly damaged (and my kids even more so :( BUT after a year and half away from it all....we are learning more and getting stronger and stronger. Thank you for your helpful videos!!
Every time I read a comment like this it makes me more and more comfortable finally enforcing boundaries with my daughters father. She’s 3, but I feel like by having no boundaries even after he’s stolen from me- more than once - I’m contributing to the deception of this fabricated relationship. I hate it for her..... she deserves a great father - like the man he presented himself to be.
@@paula817 Good thing she has a Mama like you willing to work on setting boundaries with Dad as she can't enforce them herself! :) ❤
You are so well spoken. I love how clearly you explain complicated things. Your videos are very helpful to me, as after I left an abusive relationship the last thing I want is to repeat what happened. So you are helping me understand what I got away from, so I can avoid it in the future. Thank you for that. Much appreciated.
I’m so grateful to you, Dr. Carter. I feel that even though i have chosen so many narcissists in the past, i am armed with knowledge and awareness now. I was just recently introduced to a man considered handsome, accomplished, wealthy...a real catch. I saw all the signs. First the sad story to snare the empath. Then then the arrogant expectations. Why wasn’t I opening my best wine for him? Why wasn’t I starting the fire? Why wasn’t I doing this, doing that? Why wasn’t my house perfect enough? The following morning, going from the guest room to the shower, he plopped down on my living room sofa in his towel, and I just knew he was thinking “WHY am I not getting LAID?” I was the gracious hostess, but I was so happy to see him leave, and thrilled with my new found calm understanding of what had transpired. I felt whole, and centered, and saved from one more narcissist. Thankyou...from the bottom of my heart.
Glad you're figuring it out, Carolyn. Keep leaning forward! Dr. C