@@chieftolu5275 what does this mean ? If someone commits a crime/abuse with INTENT, they are not above the law ! If someone has NPD/ASPD/Dark Triad traits, attends church/is active in a church, they can still be held accountable !
Yes. Thank you for pointing that out for those that are dealing with the family/parent issues...They want to take away your soul...but then would have to find someone else to demean... One should become very observant living with family under these circumstances...
True, my parents were both narcs but they weren't psychopaths. Unfortunately I married a psychopath when I was 20. I always thought I was a loser and deserved this guy. Now that I'm 70, I see the truth.
But you'll get more of the same in your life from others if you aren't very aware and guarded. Predators can sniff out when you're prepped to tolerate abuse. 😢
My mother is my archnemesis. But I'm slowly but surely healing and upheaving her tactics. She has to respect me as an independent with boundaries which are felt though I do not explicitly say them.
Exactly and I know having narcissist parents set me up to be a narcissist's dream, every one of my long term romantic relationships have been with narcissist. I had no idea all the things they were doing were toxic and wrong. I thought it was all normal even the rage.
My father. 100%. He was basically everything. From covert narcissist to grandiose narcissist from psychopath to sociopath you name it. It’s like he wanted to win the Olympic Games of madness. He died exactly one month ago and to me it’s like the madness is gone. Now I can relax
Yes, I usually do not even talk about my experiences because people do not believe me or think I am exaggerating, or worse, there is something wrong with me. Just know that you are not alone.
Margo Channing What you said!!!! To this day no one believes me. Friends / acquaintances of my parents don't believe me....... except for 2 friends of my mother who got a taste from my Sociopath half sister because the friends dared try to help my mother. About 4 months ago my therapist told me that when he first heard my life story and the garbage I went through, he didn't believe me! He spoke to my spouse and children and they verified everything. For a therapist not to believe a person.....SMDH. My spouse is also messed up from growing up with a mentally ill mother and in many ways behaves like his mother. Not an easy marriage.
- very bold in enforcing dominance; impervious to rules - vicious attack on your character - condescending - thrill seekers - hautiness - meaness: callous; controlling - take no responsibility - shame & blame - Predatory mindset: crush
Same (or similar. I don’t think he’s as high on the Machiavellian but I see the narcissism and the psychopathy for sure tho). Hugs. It took me about a decade to get half “normal” again.
I was raised by a psychopathic mom (and an avoidant narcissistic dad and narcissistic golden child sister) and saw all of these traits in her. Her cruelty and lack of empathy and remorse is just mind blowing. She would manipulate, lie, cause harm and then pretend none of that happened. I truely survived HELL as a child. It's a miracle i made it out alive, figured her out and went no contact at the age of 44. Thank God!
SAME, minus the narc dad part but he did downplay it. They show no remorse, no conscience, in private of course. While I am glad I can't relate trying to understand them is downright impossible and depressing. Wishing you all the best healing
Psychopath father, malignant narcissist mother and narcissist brother. I’m living real life hell. My downfall and breakdown was their sole mission for the last 30 years. They broke me down into a shell of a person, abused me in ways that I can’t even go back to those memories, without getting severely triggered and panicked. I always knew it was wrong what was happening. Recently it became so clear to me. They weren’t just behaving badly, they weren’t just calling out how horrible I was because I was, they weren’t just stalking me, abusing me, interjecting any other connection (friends/office/dating) and talk poorly of me, belittling me, mocking me because I deserved it. It suddenly came to me that they were doing it because they wanted to do. For my father it was about complete control and to diminish sense of self entirely. If I was doing well, it was all him, and if I wasn’t, I deserved complete abandonment. He would flirt and take my female friends out without informing me, he would stalk me in college, and show up everyday, he would email my telecom provider and ask them to send the call logs. I always feel like I’m being followed. For my mother their was a weird jealousy towards daughter since birth, she hated my guts. I was terrible since the day I was born. She burnt my hand with an iron box when I was 5, she called the cops on me after a violent episode when I wouldn’t open the door, called me mentally unstable to my college, and asked to be taken away for 2 years. I ended up taking 8 years to complete college. Bad mouthing me everywhere. My extended family looks at me like I’m dirt. She’s happy in breaking me down. Violent episodes. Threatening messages. Showing up to my house, banging the door, creating a scene. My brother I thought he was the one person who understood me in all this chaos. My rock. I was shattered when I realised that wasn’t. He was the flying monkey for my parents. Then even more insidiously, I realised he was not just the messenger, he was playing active role in my put down and abuse. Everyone of them went relentlessly to make me the scapegoat, to strip me of my identity and replace it with their filth, to subjugate me to extreme torture and watch me in anguish. This so called family that made it their mission to ruin me. All these dots are connecting to me now. And it’s released me actually. From this trauma bond I had, still do. I’m working very hard now to break all my negative ideas which got in my head. But I feel like I can now embark on rediscovering my life again. God and anyone who’s reading this, I hope I have the strength to fight these demons and go complete no contact. I wish you in your healing journey. ❤
I can relate. I am working on escaping my psychopathic mother and narcissistic golden child sister myself. I don’t have an avoidant narcissistic dad, though. He is aware of their abuse, just don’t understand they are abusive himself. He lacks knowledge of narcissisism.
@@msredcurtains ❤️❤️❤️❤️🤗 I just wanted you to know, you're not alone in this madness, that I believe you and feel for what you've been through ❤️ please, do all what's in your effort to get away from them before it's too late. These people can really kill your soul, sanity and then the body. I don't want to scare you but I know how dangerous they are. These monsters are not your family. A loving, sane family isn't supposed to be like that. Believe me, better to be alone in this case so you can heal and get to know healthy, human people. If you like to talk. Please let me know. I wish you peace and serenity ☺️
I wish that I could be your friend and talk to you sometimes. Although I didn’t have a father (he passed away) I went through r the exact same things with my narc mother & narc golden child sister. When I explain my family dynamic to anyone they just can’t comprehend how a mother could envy & hate her own daughter. Also, how a sibling can join in the abuse. It took me a long time to try to recover from what they did to me. I’m very low contact with them now & I’ll probably never see them again in life because I’m sure they’ll join together to try to abuse me once were around each other. I had to participate in therapy, which helped some but my mother’s abuse definitely left me diagnosed with cPTSD. I’ve been away from them for about six years now but I couldn’t imagine if I never escaped. Best wishes to you and your healing!
3:11 He's equating right & wrong and morality with societal norms and legality. Not the same thing - in fact they are often the exact opposite. So much for experts.
@@uterushaver8309 I don’t see that at all. He said that they will act unlawfully. Then he said they will do things that are immoral. He made no connection between legality and immorality.
"Psychopaths are broken souls to their core. They are impossible. The only way to deal with them is to get away from them" - 100% right Dr. Carter! "If you show them tender emotions all they think is they want to crush you" - Yes, they are evil!
Alister found the opposite to what you describe. I n my particular experience, this man So knew continually sought emotional response to his erratic behaviour. I eventually decided the friendship was too suffocating, and nocked his calls, making no contact whatsoever. And I intend not and will not detract my decision to get him out of my life. Last night at 12..45 I heard a terrific crash downstairs and it was a beautiful thick glass fruit bowl. it was in two halves , one half on a deep pile carpet . There is no way this was not done on purpose, and his character was the only person to gave a spate key.! I'm just glad it wasn't my head gone for burton. ! This has put me on my guard.
Scary to think that you were involved with one of them and that they were in your own family.😳 I still wonder what my egg donor really was. All I know is she had NPD at a minimum.
@@Liberty208 I find it interesting that people always refer to the narcissist or psycho in their life as "my..." or "mine...". People want to take ownership of them for some reason. Very strange.
I did not know what I was married to. We did not have all this education on these disorders back in the 70's, 80's. I was married to a dark triad for 44 years. I paid a terrible price physically, emotionally, and mentally. I have been in recovery for seven years and I am not whole yet. Please pray for me.
@@teresamacey4012 I was married for 42 years and I also am suffering physically, emotionally and mentally. My ex husband has every single covert narcissistic trait and has antisocial personality disorder as well. I was fairing pretty well emotionally until he wanted something badly, I didn't know he wanted something badly. Then he set out to destroy me emotionally to make sure he got what he wanted. I'm still putting the pieces together and I will probably be doing so for the rest of my life. I had no idea what I was dealing with until he unleashed his venom full steam completely stunning me by who he finally revealed to me who/what he was.
@teresamacey4012 The only thing that can heal you from this type of person is Jesus. If you have not yet accepted Him as your Lord and Savior you first have got to recognize that you're a sinner in need of forgiveness and that your heart is in need of total cleansing from sin, (doing things your own way). Admit that you can't do anything or live without Him showing you the way. I thought that I got saved in 1993, but I didn't fully give Him my heart that day. But on March 13, 2001, I did. I got so sick of myself and how negative I was. I hated who I was on the inside. So after I had gotten off from work I asked Him late one night when I got alone in my room, I asked Him to remove all of that fear, confusion, anger, and hate and fill my heart with HIM. It was THE MOST amazing experience of my WHOLE entire life. I started to feel all of this toxic garbage come flying out of my mouth LIKE A RAGING FLOOD. The experience was so strong that I couldn't even stand up straight. I couldn't stop screaming. But not scream in the fearful sense of the word? It was like all of that toxicity was pouring out of a teapot. lol Then I began to laugh and laugh! It felt SO GOOD that I couldn't stop because it felt SO wonderful! It was the joy of the Lord that I was experiencing. Wherever there is joy, anger and hate can NOT exist. This will put a shield of protection around you. Begin to praise the Lord with your whole heart. And the devil will HAVE TO flee. I know this sounds to simple but it's not. First having to let go of what you're holding onto is the hardest part. Because lots of times we like our sin and doing things our way. Holding onto wanting to be vindicated and shown to be "right" can hold you from getting the breakthrough that you need from this wicked person/spirit.
Since narcissism is a mental illness, it doesn’t help to compare the neurological wiring of a healthy person to a narcissist. Narcissists are simple. They remained in “object splitting” in the first 18 months of life, and a resulting “stuck” projection process got going due to abuse. They never form a self. They require a constant stream of dopamine to calm the emerging terror of “nothingness”. The illusion of control provides that. A person who’s position is to self sacrifice to get the narcissist their dopamine isn’t thinking clearly when they say they would rather hurt than cause anyone else any kind of pain. The narcissist seeks out people who are looking to get their needs met by making sure that the earliest attachment figures aren’t in pain. That’s somehow “self” esteem. Sacrificing self to gain self esteem (insanity) is known in relationship addiction recovery programs as “self defeating behavior”. Perfect behavior to attract a narcissist, who believes that only he/she exists, and “others” are an extension of them. Even better is to encourage the target’s belief that he/she is causing others pain by not carrying their pain for them. The entire problem is driven by the dopamine provider. The narcissist isn’t an addict, because he/she cannot recover, and their dopamine is to survive. Codependents are addicts because they are not using dopamine to survive, but instead to medicate. Codependents can and do recover. There is nothing useful in comparing narcissists to codependents, because it goes nowhere. The addict is the problem because that situation has a solution. There is no solution for the narcissist.
@Orixá Rose Yes, I totally agree that “feeling sorry” is absurd for predators. You bring up a vitally important issue. On the spectrum of Cluster B mental illness (and they are on it), those predators are at the extreme end. The mid and higher brains aren’t connected, so the lower brain has the whole show, and the rest is used for manipulation to survive. A lizard would do the same if it needed other tools to exist. Unfortunately the targets of these predators judge them as being functional humans instead of putting up a boundary wall (like your healthy immune system does). How? The “all good, all bad” delusion (very young children “think” this way) A predator who isn’t connected to empathy isn’t in that situation. We (who are connected to empathy) aren’t in that situation of “all good, all bad” either. As a human being we are spiritual. We need a Higher Power to be “just human”. Balancing our dark and light. A broken person would not need that. They don’t have empathy due to trauma. They are adult, traumatized infants, consumed with rage and envy. It’s just a fact. The response we need with that? That’s the most important thing to get clear on. Unfortunately people either don’t think these people exist, or (and this is worse), they see these destroyed people as “bad”. That takes away the “response energy”. Boundaries. Instead of dealing with the fact that our own inner landscape has been traumatized (in our own family system), we use predators like this as “placeholders” for “the enemy”. Healing attachment trauma with family creates boundaries against predators. Using predators as placeholders for not facing unhealed inner trauma is powerful projection. Protection of parents. Predators are real, but so are we, along with everything that happened to us. Becoming real means exchanging parents as Higher Powers for a real spiritual relationship. Using predators as the “bad guys” destroying us can sort of useful. It keeps us at 4 years old. But not to avoid our inner trauma (the much, much bigger problem). Finally, not dealing with trauma and it’s true source attracts these predators. This is how they are around anyway. For narcissists? Hating them or loving them is the same. That’s how they energize. Loving ourselves (in a Higher Power relationship) will bring a solution.
It’s almost mystifying at first at how alarmingly uncomfortable it is to be in their presence but be hearing & seeing such a charming genuine person infront of you. It’s like your body knows what’s up but your mind is being tricked. Your body wants to run the hell away but your brain is intrigued. That early mystery turns into fucking terrifying lack of regard for other humans later on. But by then you’ve been tangled into their web & the way out seems so daunting that it’s almost easier to just stay caught in the web.
@@cailin5309 this is so true. I can relate to what you are saying I know my ex is a narcissist but I also am just beginning to think he is a psychopath too. Luckily I have managed to get away but it’s so scary to think I nearly didn’t.
Dr. Carter's recommendations for dealing with narc/psychopaths 1) Reveal as little about yourself as you can get away with. 2) Don't let them know how intimidated you are. 3) Stay neutral 4) Refuse to argue with them 5) Stay balanced with healthy friends/allies 6) Get out as quickly as you can. So helpful. Grateful for your sharing of this information!
I used to try to keep my Narc mom and Sis off balance by being unpredictable. And occassionally being physically intimidating, with cold, cold eye and voice. I was so afraid of them. I hooked up with a creep just so I could move out.
“That’s kind of a tough one to get into...” says the well experienced, well educated psychologist with years of study on the matter. That alone should help people understand why it’s so tough trying to actually GET OUT of these kinds of relationships. If the doctor with years of experience and wisdom feels uncomfortable having to discuss this kind of behaviorally disturbed person, dealing with them is literal hell on earth. Thank you for your expertise and your sensitivity, Dr. Carter! You are so appreciated!
Absolutely! I just gave up taking about what went on at home, because other people would judge ME. I'm not the one who was acting crazy or violent, or cheating, but I was always instantly judged for staying in these relationships.
@MUSTBE1776 however you choose to take Dr. Carter’s “meaning” is your choice. It’s clear to see he finds it difficult to have to describe these kinds of people. That’s why he stated early on in the video he will NOT take these kinds of people on as clients. I personally take that to “mean” if it’s uncomfortable for a well educated, well experienced, and well concerned psychologist to speak on the matter, then that is all the proof needed to prove it’s extremely difficult to deal with/leave said type of person. Obviously, you understand and are proof of what i am saying or you wouldn’t have stayed or dealt with such person for twenty years. Hugs to you, dear one.
A psychopath can be very charming. It's one of their manipulative tools and they'll use it when they need to. Scary when you find yourself in a relationship with one.
Run away when they least expect it , cut off all ties , fast pray and cleanse your soul. These people are the most disgusting people to walk the earth . I had to learn the hard way .
I have the same situation, my father has passed away , but my sister who looks and acts just as he did, I think she inherited it. No one can stand to be around her. She’s very fake and flirty , pretending she’s a nice person when she’s conning unsuspecting people.
I survived a psychopath, although I take away several physical and countless emotional damages. Even though you feel totally empty, you thank God you still live. When you see someone looking at you with amused disdain while you are half dead on the floor, you realize what „no empathy“ means.
@@maggiemae9099 Thank you for your caring and encouraging words. Yes, I will keep in fighting for my inner peace and am most grateful for such wonderful support from people like you.
@Gordon Fornow Thank you for your answer. Yes, I am fine now, and recovering every day. I am glad you could avoid the worst things. I now know I will look much more closely at signs in the future. I wish you all the best.
@Orixá Rose oh poor you. Höre are you doing? Yes, they are. And still it is so hard to leave (but worth all the effort, I think). I wish you force and stamina and all the best.
It’s so hard having the gift of empathy in a world with so many narcissists. I haven’t been in a relationship for 9 years as I was so deceived by him, a covert narcissist, I never knew such people existed! Thank you so much for your videos
Ah, yes. I learned the very painful lessons about the socially pathological and why they target nice people. I had the distinct misfortune of meeting a real life psychopath. It was truly frightening. I escaped with my life and the lessons are profound. Thank you, Dr Carter, for your clear and insightful videos which bring this issue to light for us.
That's why it's so hard to come to terms with. We wanna believe everyone has some redeeming qualities. It's very difficult to accept that some people literally don't.
I know what you mean. These types of people live in a whole different reality that is warped in their mind and they will not enter into any kind of normalcy. It's best to get away if you can.
My caregiver mother 😖 I am 40 and I'm now getting a nurse because I wanna put my hands on her. I have multiple sclerosis that doesn't mean Im stupid 😏IM DONE.
It's the same for me. Just maybe 3 years ago, I was always touting that "there's good in everyone"; and, "there's a light inside of everyone", things like this. I was almost toxically positive about it. Well, the devil must've heard me; because he sent some of these types of people, my way, after my husband died. Oh yes; and those memes that say things like, "Those who stay, during your darkest times, are your real friends...." etc: well, after my husband died, those who entered my life, or became a bigger part of my life, as so-called "friends", were these types of people. They stuck around me, to literally destroy me. One told me, "I'll always be in your corner." My thought was, "Yeah, you'll always be in my corner, trying to destroy me."
The US criminal justice system has no clue regarding the information in this video. My father was a malignant narcissist as well as a pedophile. My son is a psychopath who is no stranger to arson, theft, and fraud. It has been very difficult surviving in the middle of this lifelong nightmare. Excellent video, thank you.
My heart goes out to you. This is my reality, too. The story is different but the theme is the same. Sometimes it was a living hell. Their capacity for targeted harm is unlimited.
If your father was a MN, and your son is a psychopath, you might want to look into getting evaluated yourself. Chances are high that you have something along those lines as well.
I dated a person who is like this and that was the worst relationship I ever had. But what makes it so sad , when you approach them with their behavior, the get angry and actually turn the tables on you. They stalk you and use others to help them try to destroy you.. I made it out and very happy with someone else.
Yes, that's the most frustrating part. Because of course all you want is heal each other. But that person will do everything to turn the spotlight of madness away from them and put it on you.
Twyla klumpp, not bragging, just happy to have survive the ordeal. By the way, can't divorce, she's got me to the cleaner and lost everything. Now we are both dirt poor.
I was married to one for 15 years and had two children with her. She could have been the poster creature for Dr. Robert Hare's book, "Without Conscience". What an ugly protracted divorce and custody fight, 9 lawyers, 46 times in court or discoveries, 8 years of legal and psychological fees. 30 years later; still dealing with PTSD. These creatures should not be loose where they can have power over normal humans.
Same experience for me. Marriage lasted 30 years with every kind of abuse. Stole all financial resources then ran off with a girlfriend. Used to hurt my pets to get at me. Delighted in causing pain in others & would even videotape reactions to his awful abuse. Kept me coming to court to avoid paying child support. Went nuts when I went no contact. Now he uses 2 of our children to try & control me. Tells them to hate their brother & myself. He is an alcoholic with heart disease. Totally miserable without any friends.
This is a spiritual battle. I prayed with the book of Psalms and received good godly people who came on my path and helped me! I thank the Lord for good people!🕊️
@@msfcarmichael Psalm 27 is a good one. There are many Psalms which are helpful. I would suggest reading all of them to find the one that resonates with you.
Truer words were never spoken! Dr. C is a fabulous human and makes up for the psychopathic abusive ex husband I managed to get away from with my life and amazingly my mind! He ruined my life but I am thankful I am away from him.
very credible !!! It really helped me with my cognitive dissonance ! I find it easy to ignore many speakers on the subject, but I still realize they're right .
I am married to one... And he broke me so many times. I am now more bitter and angry than I ever was. May the Lord help me to leave and restore my broken soul.
So grateful to be out of his prison of cruelty...I cannot even think of the vicious things that he would say to me when in a rage as they are so far from anything I could ever think or say....truly psycho.
@@patmorote6900 Hello Pat. I'm in the process of learning the definitions, so rather than give incorrect or misleading information I've posted some links for you as a place to start. I've added the 3rd one because I think its insightful to not only childhood but adult relationship abuse. I hope these are helpful. I originally was diagnosed with ptsd (due to one particular event) however it didn't fully take other aspects into account. Turns out, after working on the ptsd incident with my doctor, a person can have both. 🌏🌱
Describes my sister. Entire immediate family has stopped contact because she can’t change and the continual abuse from every angle is untenable. She tried to suffocate me repeatedly when I was a child - she was born the way she is. She was my personal terrorist for many years and I thought that’s just how life was. One thing you didn’t touch on was the incredible charisma they seem to possess - it was fascinating to watch her interact with people and see their responses to her. She’d have people eating out of her hand within minutes - but at some point it would always go bad and usually ended up terrible. I learned to try and stay out of the damage path but a psychopath’s tantrum when they don’t get what they want is unreal. Agree with the Doctor - there is no positive outcome with this triad - any good they see happen to you will be promptly removed/diminished/spoiled in any way they can so they will feel superior and have more control over you. They will also actively sabotage anything good that they see around you. My sis can mimic emotions like an academy award winning actor. Avoid at all costs.
I am unable to cope up with mine , it only gets worse ,my immediate family is in no way supportive , I feel sorry for them but I am unable to gather myself and leave , I see no way out
You have put it perfectly, and I want to add that I have one of these ..decades of theft,lies...I finally removed for good from my life once my parents were both deceased..Pure evil..
@@heatherwhittaker6169 My other sister thinks she’s demon possessed. Most of the time nature and the darker aspects of humanity are sufficient explanation for just about any behavior - however heinous and evil. I’m sorry that you understand fully and empathize. :(
I am right there with you. I have a sister like you are describing also. My parents are gone and I have become her scapegoat. I am 2 weeks no contact now! Waiting with bated breath, the wrath that is coming my way. Shared with my son that I am a bit afraid!
Criminal activity is the number one thing to look out for. Every person I've known who is an abuser, psychopath and/or narc have zero respect for others and for society in general, and it shows in their ability to repeatedly break the law - Drug taking or dealing, assaulting others, repeated and very dangerous traffic violations (not just a few minor speeding tickets). They lack the ability to detach from "the world revolves around you" phrase. They truly believe it does. It's very disturbing to live amongst such individuals and share our workplaces, our roads, our schools, our lives with them.
My narc would call in “favors” when he got traffic tickets. He has looked for years for ways to cheat on his taxes. This past year, he was really angry because he couldn’t hide money in an IRA. We are separated now and I have the kids, so you can imagine the hell it’s been for the kids and me.
Also, corporate big shots doing high tech / dangerous crap. Writing books and copyright their work. All the while being crazy and dangerous. Stealing equipment from the corporations and data. Evil. Gaslighting and absolutely no empathy remorse ect. Pediphile.
@@puregrit8057 that's a dangerous statement. Successful CEO's are decidedly not all psychopaths. They are overwhelmingly hard working and goal oriented though. That does not a psychopath make.
My sister which is 11months older was always a fan of the villains of the disney movies and then as we got older she told me she loved telling people the truth because she loved to see the pain it caused ..when I finally broke free from her control shes had all my life she flipped my whole family against me called me the psychopath and just raged with anger every chance she got i no longer have a relationship with her try and stay as far away from her as i can she is what they call a demon. THANK YOU FOR THESE VIDEOS ❤️
When you attempt to distance yourself from someone like this, they can (and often will) become very dangerous people. And you will feel alone because they're very good at disguising how dangerous they are.
The one I knew wanted to pass on his sage advice "if you're going to tell a lie tell a big one". He certainly made a habit of it. Criminality, cruelty, utter disregard for others, manipulation in the extreme, it was all there. But he knew how to be charming and everyone bought it. Nobody listens to little kids. I could have used this video 30+ years ago!
And just for the record, he made it so impossible to earn pocket money that every week I owed him money from my paper route. Petty, but there was a big ledger I had to fill in including polishing his shoes and washing the car etc. I'm sure we're all resisting the urge to vent list upon list of things.
This particular type of psychopathic narcissist is also from what I understood a lot less fear-driven, more calculated, aware, and smarter than the narcissists lower on the spectrum. There is a tiny minority of narcissists who are actually aware of what they are and use therapy as a way of "fine-tuning" themselves into becoming a better / more effective narcissist. The only solution is to get away from them and get therapy on our own.
My mother is dark triad, my youngest sister is as well. Remorseless, cruel people who have done everything they could to hurt me, cut me down, totally destroyed my life and my family. It has amazed and horrified me to see the patterns my mother created and how my sisters carried it on. Im 57 and have finally gone no contact and am finding peace for the first time in my life. They want to hurt you, they wont stop, they will only find other ways. Get out, stay away and dont ever go back. Thank you for your help!!
@@Potato-fv9ns nobody had free will, autonomy in a practical sense is you enacting a framework of behaviour like anyone else. Just like some play predator, some are doomed to play victim, some play both when it suits their needs. Humans are wierd huh 😅
This describes my mother so well. She's very good at hiding it, though. When I was a child, all my friends told me how nice she was and they wished their mom was like that. Even now, the few friends that have met her think she's so sweet. They have no idea how wrong they are. I was emotionally, verbally, mentally, and physically abused my whole childhood and well into adulthood. What made it worse is that I'm a highly sensitive person as well as an introvert. It took me years to finally see her for what she is. Now I live 600+ miles away from her and rarely speak to her. As she gets older (74 tomorrow) she hasn't been able to hide it as well and the rest of my family are finally seeing what I have seen all my life.
Maranda, I am so sorry to see these replies that seem to enable your dark triad person or somehow soften your experience JUST BECAUSE SHE IS YOUR MOTHER. That sounds seriously f-ed up. Enjoy the distance you’ve managed to create for yourself and don’t feel guilty about looking forward to the rest of your life without that kind of abuse. Hell, buy a special bottle of booze and reserve it especially for the day she dies. I know I will. Some people will never understand that the relationship with a mother who shows such extreme and detached behavior targeted specifically at you for years (while she takes all credit for who you have become and is complemented on her “mothering”) is not the same as “not seeing eye to eye”. It’s not like she grounded you. She fucked with you in the same way primary school kids with a magnifying glass fuck with ants. For years. In no way are you “victimizing” yourself by sharing your experiences. I am glad that old age is showing her for who she is so all the people who have been fed untrue, disgusting stories will (hopefully) see them for what they are: part of a carefully planned smear campaign against the one person she should have protected, her daughter. I’m proud of you for living your best life because it ain’t easy...
Dang, I’m 71 and you just described my LIFE with my mom! She didn’t raise me, so after I was grown, she always try to make me to conform to being her! 🤦🏽♀️
4 days into exiting a decade with exactly this type of Narc! The trauma bond is horrific despite the violence, control and whole spectrum of abuse. This video is really helpful, thank you!
You just described my father. He was the biggest piece of true human garbage I was forced to deal with in my lifetime. A man comprised of meanness, hatred, anger, and sadism. I was overwhelmed with sheer joy and relief on the day of his funeral..
This sounds bad but it's so nice to hear this from people. I'm not the only one. We are the normal ones. We are the good people. Society is better off without their evil. ❤
My mother was such a psychotic sadistic witch, and so similar to the witch in the Wizard of Oz movie, played brilliantly by actor Margaret Hamilton, that for most of my life I believed she must've modelled her scary threatening personality on that movie villain. But recently I found out that she and Hamilton were students together in the same Actor's Studio class long before I was born or the Wizard of Oz movie was released. It began to dawn on me that when Margaret Hamilton created her famous role, she had to be thinking of the wickedest and most sadistic people she'd ever known, and she was probably thinking also of her method actor training classes. In other words, instead of my mother imitating Hamilton's witch character, it is far more likely that Hamilton created her evil witch character based on having known my mother! Yes, I believe my mother was the original template for the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz.
My older brother is a paranoid schizophrenic narcissist, and we have a long history of physical and psychological abuse. I've always been afraid of what he'll do to get what he wants from me, and I know I'll never be free of fear while he's alive.
I only recently understood the Narcissistic Personality Disorder and how it's affected my life. I'm glad you differentiated between NPD and NPD with psychopathy. My mother was a narcissistic psychopath. Never showed remorse, guilt, or empathy and was delighted when she figured out how to hurt someone that she perceived "wronged" her. I remember being 8 years old, and my poor dad had finally escaped. I had to stay with her. My dad willing supported 2 households by taking 2 jobs. My mother came barreling into the living room with the biggest, happiest smile on her face I'd ever seen. Being 8, I got happy with her until I found out what she was happy about. She found a place that would deliver dead roses and was going to have them delivered to my dad's main workplace for everyone to see. Then she happily bounced out of the room to order them. I was kinda buying into her "stories" about my dad at that time, but her excitement over that freaked me out. It got worse as I got older. Even worse when I became the target. I went on to marry a narcissist because I didn't understand what I had been dealing with yet. But my ex-husband did have a conscience at times. He was an ass and abusive, but it was different than my mom. He actually had moments of regret and remorse. My mother never did. And she totally stalked me. I had to block her from everything. If she found put I had.a new friend, she'd track that person down, spin her tale about "how much she loved me" then once they were sucked in, drop a story and how "sick I've always been." And she was extremely intelligent and convincing. It was scary.
You're right, Dr. C. The court system is their playground. And they're happy to spend many years and many thousands of dollars (of your money) to keep litigation going forever. They regard even a Pyrrhic victory as still a victory. Everyone and everything goes down in flames, and they enjoy the entire process.
I was told I had no choice but to suffer his abuse for the rest of my life. Other people whom seem to have some or all Dark Triad issues have been helping him make good on his threats EVEN with a signed and notarized ACKNOWLEDGMENT. the court system is where demons covertly gang rape vulnerable people. It's where the victims are REvictimized. No amount of PROOF matters when you have these kinds of people in control of EVERYTHING.
Several years ago I began learning that most of my relatives are very similar to this, narcassistic/psycopathic especially my mother and I'm a disabled veteran with hardly any money or resources to deal with them. They've stolen homes from me, a family, cars, everything. Need legal help but can't with no money. God please help me. God bless everyone.
I think what finally made me realize how dark my family really is, is when I came to realization that the neglect and psychological abuse and maybe even physical abuse; carried right over into adulthood and for now almost two decades. The manipulation, dehumanizing and attacks simply never stopped no matter what I changed about myself!
You just described my mother, I'm 58 and still recovering. As I was raised by father Covert and mother overt, 1 sibling he the golden child me the scapegoat, he turned out to be a narcissist as well. They act like I don't exist, which is win for me. I don't miss them, I chose the path of healing...
They will smile sweetly at you and as they turn their face away all trace of emotion vanishes, leaving a near robotic countenance. Creeps me out something awful and I keep faaaaaar away from them.
The life is hell with the narc, now think your life with a narc and psychopathic, what is your life will be? .... I have been reading many books, researches papers and still to read deep down about the dark triad... The dark triad personality traits are three closely related yet independent personality traits that all have a somewhat malevolent connotation. The three traits are machiavellianism (a manipulative attitude), narcissism (excessive self-love), and psychopathy (lack of empathy)...May the Lord help us all and keep us safe from these dark entities and their dark demons ...
I do wonder for some time now if my husband is not in the psychopathic range as well. For years I thought he is a covert narc but the extent he will go to take revenge and punish me it is unbelievable. He is extremely, extremely cunning. I see absolutely no remorse or shame for his behavior,0. He do throw people away literally like old socks and the vengeance that lies in him scare me really. But...for the outside, he have such a calm I cant even explain. And I know that when he is more calm,he is up to something and this scares me so much...
@Angela Nicoletti ,thank you for your kind words. Im preparing my escape but for me is extremely difficult because we have 2 kids and I'm in a foreign country, his country, without a job and not enough money for divorce. He does have a lot of money and he is extremely CUNNING and manipulative. He is already use the kids to torture me and intimidate me and alienate them from me. I did try a few times to escape but each time I had to stay still and keep my mouth shut. He is not afraid of police and anyways he does everything extremely covert so that I can't proove anything. But with all the fear and the consequences, I do intend to leave next spring. Thank you very much for sharing that beautiful biblical words as well. Im very happy for you because you left. God bless you and make your life peaceful and happy from now on .
I had a relationship with a man like this. It almost destroyed me. I am an empath and could not believe such a soul exisits. The sad part, I really love him. I thankfully went into therapy as I thought I was suicidal. I still struggle to stop caring about this soul and he called and told me he had a new girlfriend. I wish I could warn her. :(
Why would a normal person take time out of their glorious life to call/text u to hurt u? Why would they think you even care? Definitely a narcissist action in that person’s fault. I hope you recognize & are able to stop speaking of your love for your abuser in the present tense soon.
I hope you don't get calls from him anymore. If you still do, change your phone number and tell everyone who you give it to, not to tell your ex about your new number.
Is sounds as if you still have contact with him such as accepting his phone calls or you calling him? If so, please stop. You deserve to be content and happy and not in a relationship with someone who is out to hurt you dilberately and smear it in your face. Is this love or codependency? Girl, love yourself and begin your healing journey. The only way to heal is to start living your life with him not in it. Get into therapy to break these trauma bonds. If you continue to interact with him you will never heal and find resolve and peace. Love yourself first not him.
I hope you’ve moved on and are doing better now!! You should be proud of yourself taking steps to protect your peace and leave a bad situation. Regarding your ex - if you haven’t already, you’ll need to block him and avoid contacting him or anyone in his life. Best outcome you can hope for is that he moves on and forgets about you.
100%accurate in all your statements. Thank you so much. I was married to one for 25 years, five children... absolute hell on earth. I was catholic and”of course” divorce was out of the question.thank God he left me for a much younger woman, a true blessing in disguise.I’m in my eighties now. It has been over 40 years. It left so much pain and emotional damage . Also financial damage. I have made it through, as well as the children....what a journey. Thanks for your very informative videos.
@Maryann Dolan I understand exactly what you went through! I am 72 and I too was married to my Narcissist husband for 45 years, with 3 children. I found out that he was cheating on me. My youngest, my daughter, was about to turn 2 and I threw him out. But this lasted only for a week. My kids were so upset and my 7 1/2 year old son was very angry with me for " making Daddy go away ". I too believed in my vows of " for better or worse " and " until death do you part", but my conflict was unfaithfulness is in the Bible for a reason to negate the bonds of marriage. Anyway, foolishly I took him back, believing his lies that it was over, would never happen again, he was sorry, and would I forgive him. When asked why he did this ( I always want to know the reason for things) he basically turned it on me by saying that she was non-hostile, thereby insinuating that I was. Long story short, I stayed with him for 45 years. I had made the decision that I would and could take whatever he dished out to me, as long as my children were cared for. I didn't want my kids to grow up with a single mom with 3 kids, struggling as a member of " the new poor ", as single mothers were known as. You see, I put him through Medical School, and worked for the next 5 years throughout his Internship and Residency " supporting Us ". I thought that we had decided to have a baby, but in the only therapy session we went to together, he revealed an entirely different story by telling the therapist " that she never liked my job, but when we found out she was pregnant, we decided to stay together. " Holy shit, I was floored! I was under such a delusion of what I thought about our marriage and children compared to his idea. Something like he was then obligated to stay. Long story short, when the kids were now young adults in their 20's and early 30, I finally found the guts and the resolve to file for divorce. At least now his crap ( not emotionally of course) would only effect me, and boy, he did not disappoint. As you said of yours, financially I was totally cut off. Boom. It's sad, that at then 63 years old and making $8/hr at a part-time job and being forced to close my business, which depended slightly on him for aid, that thankfully my Dad could help me with lawyers fees,food for me and the breeding stock of horses I had, electricity etc.. he didn't want to see me lose everything I had worked so hard to achieve. The divorce was the cruelest, worst thing that I had ever gone through in my life. I had some really tough times in my life too. I got Polio at 9 months, had 15 orthopedic surgeries and learned to walk and then eventually played tennis and competed horses. I had excelled in school, despite being AD/HD. Back then they just called you hyper and " you just need to settle down and focus on your own task ". And so much more that no one really cares about. The divorce was 4 + horrible years of County and then State Supreme court case battles that cost each a fortune. Luckily for me, he had been so outrageous, cruel and lied so much, that the judges found in my favor and gave me the farm. His mother, my soon to be ex mother-in-law , even sued me for the $42,000 dollars her son owed her! Yep,I bet that was a first! Anyway, it has been 10 years since the divorce, he has since passed 6 months after it was final, and I am still living with the aftermath of my whole life being, other than my children, wasted with and damaged by this one person who originally I had loved deeply and thought that he loved me. It was all a lie ,and at times I am angry with myself for being " so stupid " for failing into his game. I will never have a meaningful relationship with another man. I don't trust my judgement. And since I made such a horrific choice to begin with, I don't want to take the chance of another one. Mostly I am happy being alone with no real conflicts in my life. Yes, I get lonely and wish that I had someone who cared for and about me, but it's not worth the risk. It's sad, but the damage that these people do is very deep and lifelong. Maybe I would be better off if I had left the marriage back then. But I will never know and " it is what it is ".
This message is to Jinx King….thanks for your wonderful sharing message. As we go through our life from babyhood to old age so many unexpected happenings take place. Some of them are from our own lack of knowledge, trust in the wrong people, no one to confide in with confidence.. I alwaystold parents when they called,”everything was fine😢”. I was ashamed, I was to.told I was dumb,etc. etc. non of it was true. Luckily my children are kind and loving to me. None of them know the whole story. Life is a journey that is almost beyond description. Thank you again for your sharing, it helps to know we are not alone🥰
@@maryanndolan6508 the church must know about narsism and what to do about it ....but never mind , say the Holy Rosary , Our Lady will be there to help you always , narsists are demon possessed!
I was with the psychopath for 21 years. I suffered horrific abuse at the hands of him. I’ve been free of him 8 years now. I’m still not healed. I suffer with chronic anxiety and continue to attract narcs. My tolerance is low so I don’t stay around too long once I see that it’s toxic or have the potential to be.
He lets off bug bombs in my house with my animals inside he fucks up every thing I own shaves my clothes n blankets with a razor things a normal person would never think of doing I had to get a storage to put some things in so they arnt totally destroyed he even got in with a security system he used to choke me unconscious vertu dangerous he's working on destroying my vehicle now my family doesnt believe me either I will never have peace of mind as. Long as I livr close enough for him to stop by. He's a demons through n through
I was alone with my psychopathic husband living nomadically for 10 years. I'm still divorcing him almost three years later, but I, too, like others commenting, can say I survived. Not just physically, but my soul made it out intact. I'll spend my life trying to make sense of how these kind of dark souls can exist but, still, I'm grateful to be alive.
"Impervious to the pain they cause..." I saw that in my ex on more than one occasion. I don't think he actually sets out to hurt people, he just doesn't care if it happens. I told him exactly what he did that hurt me, and why it hurt, and all I got back was denial, deflection and rationalization. No apology. No remorse. No acceptance of any responsibility whatsoever. And he wondered why I left him.
Beware that when you are looking for allies, that they may already have executed a preemptive smear campaign about you. I also wish you would use the word evil instead of broken. I have no sympathy for them as I would for someone who is truly broken.
A narcopath isn't just born, they are created. Often by what are considered socially acceptable upstanding but fanatical parents. Religion or military for example.
@@dcg31free you stated that so well. I have so many memories of walking into a room and feeling an intense dislike from people for no apparent reason. Now I’m realizing it was a smear campaign.
I would be careful about the distinction between broken and evil. I would hope most are broken rather than evil though not saying evil dosen't exist by no means. That said I believe, though not a psychologist, that narcissism and possibly psychopathy stems from a deep emotional scar from childhood and possibly the way to go about treating the issue albeit no doubt a painful, lengthy and arduous task!
@Gordon Fornow I avoid the entire state of Vermont. I still don't know all the lies that were told about me, but at this point i do not want to know. But being geographically present where sudden, horrendous, inexplicable abuse occurred, that I will not do. There is no way to ever correct their misperceptions. I was 'slimed'. They really are soul killers.
This is such an accurate video. My (soon to be ex) husband, is one of those who recognizes his psychopathic characteristics (he’s a malignant narc) and totally “accepts” and values that part of himself. He’s okay with it. And that’s when the abuse gets scary.
My ex boyfriend is the same. He went to school for this stuff too. Definitely weaponized his education and I should have known better when he asked me if I had ever taken a psychopath test in one of our first meet ups. Red flag!
@Tara-id3rk: My ex-fiance was that way, too, a malignant narc. He proudly admitted his bullying personality, said "I'm a scapper." ) (More like a bull-crapper!). And he bragged abt how he never studied in hs/college, just "somehow got good grades". Once, in stop & go traffic, he was rubber-necking an accident, & collided w/the car in front of us, totalling his car. The police officer on the scene witnessed it, & chastised him for not paying attention. My ex was fuming! He was humiliated (in front of me), stared straight ahead, refused to look at, reply, or acknowledge the cop. The 1 situation where he cdnt bully another person, & get away w/ it. Used to pat himself on the back, thought he was elite & superior...Once he screamed in rage, in my face, to intimidate me; his skin turned "white w/ rage" (it's a real thing!), foamed/spittle at the mouth, trembling, jaws clenched...and then the eyes turned EMPTY... he wasn't there anymore, like he dissociated, truly frightening! Oh, if only I'd know abt narcs back then! All the signs were there, I just didn't know.
My mother and grandma started the destruction, my narcissistic psychopath ex tried to finish the job. These people get away with murdering your spirit and everything you are. In the end they justify their actions and behavior so that you somehow deserved to be destroyed, even if they claim you are their best friend. Idk why people like that have to exist at all and there are more of them then people realize. Though it only takes a few to influence the entire population. Some people never really recover after a relationship or encounter with a psychopath because of the heavy grief, despair and intricately ingrained learned hopelessness they seed in others. Sometimes it's enough that they intentionally plant seeds inside the minds of others, sit back and entertain themselves in watching these seeds of destruction take place. They may even try and convince you to kill yourself at your lowest most vulnerable point. At some point they may try and strangle you and if you don't leave, eventually they may plan your literal death. The only thing between you and that fine line is whether in that moment, they have the ability to follow through with the impulse. They may not all be serial killers but these types are for sure behind many suicides and mental hospitalizations. Their victims/survivors pay the price for the void in them. Imagine saving the life of someone like this who will go on to damage people in severe ways.
👏👏👏 I use to think about this too, they're capable and some of them does push people to suicide at their lowest point in their life's and sometimes they're the ones pushing you to this point to then help pull the trigger. This subject needs to get on the surface, people and especially young people, need to know about these personalities.
'RUN, Forrest, RUN!' I have been dealing with this exact person (happens to be an 82 year old woman) since June...never have I ever felt so much fear in my almost 50 years of living. Self-care is indeed what I keep coming back to. Thank you Dr. Carter.
Run forest! Love it! I get you big time! I’m out after 30 year relationship and so x trying to get a divorce, after a year of hell finalised dec 1 but he still didn’t go quietly even though living out n different county 🏃🏻♀️🏃🏼♂️
You described my toxic, entitled sister perfectly. She and her husband gladly took thousands from me over the past ten years without any thanks. When I bought a house in their town in southern Ireland , she tried to manipulate me to use my house for her own business practice at no cost to her, of course. Failing that, they tried to get me to rent out the house to her son and his girlfriend. The price they "suggested" would leave me out-of-pocket by 450 every month! Yet, they earn enough to go on six foreign holidays every year and show-off on Facebook! I don't go on holidays and look after my 100-year-old mother on a part-time basis every week. She never helps in any way. She wanted her husband to do all the jobs on the house (for an excellent price) and when he stopped after three jobs, I employed others to do the jobs or did them myself. This enraged her and so began a smear campaign that has been expanding for three years now. I don't speak to her and she is now smearing people in the town with whom I interact. In public, she is the sweetest, caring and most moral person but slanders the same people begin their backs as well. My father used to say that there was "a bad drop in her" forty years ago around the time that she slashed a boyfriend in the face with a broken bottle. He was still saying it shortly before he died.
This was terrific, as usual, but tough to listen to. When I finally figured out I was dealing with the dark triad personality and that I had not only fallen in love but also let him into my life and home, I was devastated. I'm a year out, and these are still tough concepts for my empathetic brain to grasp. Thank you for your work.
Same. I was intensely love bombed and our shared fantasy was so enjoyable for me that admitting the truth of what I saw when the mask slipped, just seemed like something I had made up in my mind about him, or it was my fault that he showed his ugly side, I thought that I must have done something to make him act that way. It’s chilling to think about what could have happened had I stayed. Six months post break up, no contact, I am just now starting to think of him fondly again, as if the cruel monster that I saw behind the mask has become not as bad as I thought. I wont contact him again for sure, but I ponder on the strangeness of these random thoughts of him, almost pining. What’s wrong with me?
Keep going forward. Read and watch videos and learn all you can about narcissism. They are talented actors and they target us for our empathy and goodness. Don't waste time criticizing yourself for falling for him; he listened to you enough to make himself look like the perfect man for you so you'd fall in love. Then they start doing crap like staying away for weeks at a time to see how connected you are and whether you react to their bad behavior. Enjoy your life and be good to yourself; don't let him occupy your mind or waste your time being angry. Let it go and move on. The first year is the hardest but it does get easier as you find yourself again and give yourself the empathy and support you wasted on him.
@Rex Flannigan Thank you for your thoughtful words. I haven’t gone back and won’t. He never even hoovered me. I’m thankful for that. It’s been almost a year. It doesn’t hurt anymore, it’s just a weird part of my life that I cannot reconcile in a healthy way because it was always a fantasy, it was never real, and that is hard to accept. It’s as if he was just a ghost. I’m fortunate that I got out before I changed my entire life for him. He had convinced me to sell my successful business and relocate with him half way across the country. Within 3 months he did that! I hope that you are well and continue to heal and move forward. I cannot imagine what this must feel like for you. You were in it for a very long time. God bless you.
You just described my former partner of 9 years who is still stalking me. I've had to change my entire life and now have to move to a different city. Do they ever leave you alone? I want my life back. Thank-you for the work you're doing.
I was once involved with a man who fits this description. I got away. I’m at peace and grounded in life. He’s still the same some 30 years later. There’s no magical ending where the monster turns into a prince with these types. Leave them now!
Ive wondered many times if my narc is also a psychopath, after hearing this video I’m sure of it. Every point you made described him to a tee.. I left him 9 months ago and I’m still trying to get myself back. He almost succeeded in destroying me. But I fled from my home and haven’t looked back except that I’ve been plagued with nightmares and ptsd. 12 years of abuse by a psychopath is a lot of abuse. I’m so thankful for your videos because they helped me to know what I was up against and how to handle it. You don’t like to deal with psychopaths and you don’t make very many videos about them, but by doing that you may have saved someone’s life. I appreciate you.. thank you so much for what you do.
Try 33 yrs - starting covert. Last several years pure Psychopath. Heading to court for Restraining Order & Divorce. Freedom on the horizon. Almost destroyed me too - ALMOST. Full on Warrior mode whenever I am outside. Apartment has weapons everywhere.
Hi Debra, that's a great question that many people wouldn't know. All Psychopaths are Narcissist, but, Narcissists can't be Psychopaths. The closest Narcissist to a Psychopath along the spectrum is the Malignant Sociopathic Narcissist. They also carry The Dark Triad trait. However, what separates a Psychopath from a Sociopathic Narcissist is how they operate. The Sociopathic Narcissist MUST have a source of supply for survival to feed their fragile self-esteem & ego in order to pump them up & create their false self. They're angry 24/7. They possess self empathy, but, none for others. They rage due to narcissistic injury & are full of revenge & vengeance. The Psychopath doesn't require narcissistic supply, they have zero empathy & no narcissistic injuries. They already know they're badasses. They both are capable of killing, however, the Sociopathic Malignant typically leading up to a Narcissistic Rage...The Psychopath kills for the thrill or high it gives them. These are the type when they're young, kill harmless animals & laugh as they describe what they did & later graduate into serial killers. They are true predators.
@@t.l.7733 Then my 71 yr old is both. Desperately needs supply - afraid to be alone. As a child tortured & kill small animals. Broke my 5 mo old puppy by kicking it because is just started crying Tried to have sex with her first - I found out in a drunken rant. Took our full grown Wold Hybrid given to us & abandoned him 50 miles away. Years later never left my puppy alone with him. At 6 mos old my Father died. Took te train to my Mother. Mistake. A few days later he arrived says the puppy is gone. Watches serial rapist killers for hours twice a day & says he's studying. Fits both of your explainations.
Thank you for being a voice. I have gained so much wisdom and this has validated everything I already knew. My dad has been an extreme emotionally & verbally abusive narcissist my whole life. He robbed me of my self confidence, trust, and vulnerability as a child. I’m an extreme empath and he used his health issues and financial situations as a weapon to shame me and my brother. The worst part is he is a crazy judgmental radical “Christian” and uses it as a mask. The police have been to my house more times than I can’t count on my hands and I barely remember any of my childhood. The crazy part is from the outside looking in no one would ever assume anything is wrong . I became addicted to the gym that was a coping mechanism (2+ hours a day, 6-7 times a week for 6 years, the longest break I took off was 4 days, went to the gym with every illness you can imagine, I went 30+ days without a day off which I know is terrible for you. My point is that I was that extreme.) I’ve been addicting to alcohol, pills, nicotine, weed, caffeine, and sugar. All on and off throughout different time periods of my life. I was taking multiple Percocets while binge drinking at 15. I had the best physique in my hs, could of had any girl I want, and I was highly respected by my peers. But at the end of the day, it all meant nothing to me bc I felt so alone. I never felt safe and I never felt unconditional love in my own home. Everyday I was ready for the conflict. With that being said, I’ve been researching heavily the past couple years, while taking the blame off my self, and realizing I was a product of my environment. I’ve finally come to terms that for my peace I’m best off cutting all ties with my father for the rest of my life. Furthermore, I found out years ago my passion is creating music and expressing myself. It’s my outlet and It makes me feel so free. I want to inspire everyone suffering in the world to have a voice. To any survivors or anyone struggling, keep pushing and striving to love yourself and accept that you’re only the victim! Stay Blessed . -MAKEAWAY
What an incredible story. When you get derailed by addictions it indicates that your interior is empty. But once you learn to build yourself from the inside out, the addictive lures are no longer as attractive. I hope your story provides an inspiration to many. Best wishes to you! Dr. C
"A troubled soul"? Me thinks that description is entirely too generous. Ah, but you cleared it up towards the end "Broken soul". I wonder how many truly understand what a "broken soul" is. How deep of a statement that is; blasphemy of the spirit, immoral core and they will never likely change for facing that demon is pretty much a suicide mission. No matter how they slice it, they are the epitome of cowardice on every level and degree. Can't face what they are and do, can't face another like themselves, surely not a strong willed, moral person and they can't muster any change for the good. What they perceive as strength and power we see as an old, weak lion attempting to hunt the weakest old water buffalo from out of the herd, not realizing that old buffalo could at any time turn and gore the lion to a quick death. Don't know how you do it Doc, study these people. In this mind it's akin to a huge ball of grossly entangled Christmas lights, no way to untangle, all one can do is toss it in the trash bin and get new lights.
I am currently dealing with a "dark triad" psychopath stalker; my own cousin, who has a very strange and sickening obsession with me. She cannot help herself to track whatever it is I am doing online. All the while, her narcissitic straights stem from the face she is doing online and believe she won't get caught. I believe these demons eventually get caught up in their own ways and the truth shall come to light.
It’s so scary ...trying to differentiate between narcissistic vs sociopath...vs psychopath...to not read too much or not enough! ... when you recognize the brokenness ... it’s almost too late. Your paralyzed. ...and afraid. When they can’t suppress the true traits of what makes them...who they really are.
Praying for the peace and clarity of Christ, for all. Both those dealing with, and those who are described in this video. With some people, the only way you can help is through prayer. It's up to them, eventually. Merry Christmas!
Good Morning. Thank you Dr Carter. You gave me strength to leave a very dangerous relationship. I had to protect my kids and try to protect my finances (no luck) However, he used sympathy and threatening suicide at one point. I had to turn off al sympathy towards him. He left scorched earth and devastated us. We survived and are stronger now. So hard but worth every obstacle...
Thanks for your post. Going through separation now. The more I try to work with my narc, the more he demands. He has attacked my parenting, character, and faith. It’s maddening, but I’m holding on to God and His Word, trying to make a better life for my kids and me.
Congratulations for getting away. My daughter is still terribly frightened about the next 11 years until her daughter is 18. How do you handle his visits with the kids?
Carol....I totally understand your way of thinking to try and protect your children from narcissistic behavior. I had done and felt the same ........beware though..the narcissist only wants the win and unless they have totally moved on to NEW supply....they will still try and win and be after the children. May God protect you and your children💜
@@WizardofGOP My ex had two mastiffs, if you know that breed. Loyal protectors of the weak. They both physically protected me from my ex, who was their owner and god. They had the empathy, intelligence and decision making processes ingrained in their hearts and minds to protect me and attack him, the very times he got violent. Loved them. They passed unfortunately, and then I escaped.
@@WizardofGOP That was beautiful. And you’re totally right. Dogs are healers, in a way. Even my cat is a healer. Her non-judgmental awareness and love for me, our physical bonding and mental connection, my getting to nurture her and in exchange she’s also a Zen master, so we chill a lot and meditate, enjoying music and laugh and run and play. There’s no toxicity, and that in itself is healing 🥳 I like people, too, but listen to my body and intuitions, now
All of our lives (globally) are being controlled by the most evil psychopaths and 95% of the population has no clue about it.😞 Please read my "About" info and pc users also watch the short video to find out more. We need to stop these evil creeps destroying us! Stay aware and alert! 💖
![ลองสุ่มไอโฟน 990 โกงมั้ย? [ โกงมั้ยครับ ep.101 ] | DOM](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/bfsWe0j492k/mqdefault.jpg)
Even if you haven’t wronged them, they’ll seek vengeance. They are awful disgusting creatures.
💯
They are EVIL to the core....
Still God's children 😊
@@chieftolu5275 what does this mean ? If someone commits a crime/abuse with INTENT, they are not above the law ! If someone has NPD/ASPD/Dark Triad traits, attends church/is active in a church, they can still be held accountable !
@@chieftolu5275then let God have them
When it's your parents/family you don't have safe people in your life to look out for you. Most people don't understand that.
Yes. Thank you for pointing that out for those that are dealing with the family/parent issues...They want to take away your soul...but then would have to find someone else to demean... One should become very observant living with family under these circumstances...
True, my parents were both narcs but they weren't psychopaths. Unfortunately I married a psychopath when I was 20. I always thought I was a loser and deserved this guy. Now that I'm 70, I see the truth.
People base everything on family ...no if the family is full of Narcs and psychopath you don't have any support...👿
@Kahlo Diego I understand 😢
Yes. Entire family and now husband. Wish I knew this years ago .
If a parent is a manipulative narcissist, you’re developmentally screwed and will never need any other enemies.
But you'll get more of the same in your life from others if you aren't very aware and guarded. Predators can sniff out when you're prepped to tolerate abuse. 😢
My mother is my archnemesis. But I'm slowly but surely healing and upheaving her tactics. She has to respect me as an independent with boundaries which are felt though I do not explicitly say them.
Oh no one needs any other enemies, you’re going to have plenty of them though…
They make/recruit enemies for you.
Exactly and I know having narcissist parents set me up to be a narcissist's dream, every one of my long term romantic relationships have been with narcissist. I had no idea all the things they were doing were toxic and wrong. I thought it was all normal even the rage.
My father. 100%. He was basically everything. From covert narcissist to grandiose narcissist from psychopath to sociopath you name it. It’s like he wanted to win the Olympic Games of madness. He died exactly one month ago and to me it’s like the madness is gone. Now I can relax
I know. I felt guilty because when mine passed, I felt so much relief.
I would buy many beers to hear your stories and share mine.Unbeleivable what they can do!Glad you are doing better!!
@@upnorthviking823
Whether you want 🍺
It's sad to feel that way, just hold on to the good side of yourself.
I felt guilt for wanting his death to end our suffering. Not anymore
It’s hard for other people to believe
When I talk with friends about my life experience with a narcopath parent, it's like a psycho thriller movie script.
Everyone is fooled by them. But not the ones who love you
Yes, I usually do not even talk about my experiences because people do not believe me or think I am exaggerating, or worse, there is something wrong with me. Just know that you are not alone.
@@margochanning6868 Thank you.
Margo Channing
What you said!!!! To this day no one believes me. Friends / acquaintances of my parents don't believe me....... except for 2 friends of my mother who got a taste from my Sociopath half sister because the friends dared try to help my mother. About 4 months ago my therapist told me that when he first heard my life story and the garbage I went through, he didn't believe me! He spoke to my spouse and children and they verified everything. For a therapist not to believe a person.....SMDH. My spouse is also messed up from growing up with a mentally ill mother and in many ways behaves like his mother. Not an easy marriage.
- very bold in enforcing dominance; impervious to rules
- vicious attack on your character
- condescending
- thrill seekers
- hautiness
- meaness: callous; controlling
- take no responsibility
- shame & blame
- Predatory mindset: crush
- Reveal little
- do not be intimidated
-
- will destroy you
- get out; get away
- conflict resolution does not work
-makes a perfect "gang stalker" for NSA Disruption operations
Perfect example of my 4 1/2 year experience of being married to a Narcopath! I witnessed it first hand…and suffered dramatically.
Growing up with one of these people as a parent will mess you up for life.
True.....:-(
Yes.
100%
Sadly, yes. 💔
Same (or similar. I don’t think he’s as high on the Machiavellian but I see the narcissism and the psychopathy for sure tho). Hugs. It took me about a decade to get half “normal” again.
I’m an Empath who is a narcissist target, I’m learning how after 45 years to protect myself.
Hang out with Dr. Carter and get some therapy specific to this abuse. You will be so grateful you did.
Keep going. Dont stop. Do it for yourself. Ask for help. Be strong. Lots of prayers and peace every day to you.
Same here. I find this information very useful
Please help me
Im Praying for you right now.🙏😇
I was raised by a psychopathic mom (and an avoidant narcissistic dad and narcissistic golden child sister) and saw all of these traits in her. Her cruelty and lack of empathy and remorse is just mind blowing. She would manipulate, lie, cause harm and then pretend none of that happened. I truely survived HELL as a child. It's a miracle i made it out alive, figured her out and went no contact at the age of 44. Thank God!
SAME, minus the narc dad part but he did downplay it. They show no remorse, no conscience, in private of course. While I am glad I can't relate trying to understand them is downright impossible and depressing. Wishing you all the best healing
Psychopath father, malignant narcissist mother and narcissist brother. I’m living real life hell. My downfall and breakdown was their sole mission for the last 30 years. They broke me down into a shell of a person, abused me in ways that I can’t even go back to those memories, without getting severely triggered and panicked. I always knew it was wrong what was happening. Recently it became so clear to me. They weren’t just behaving badly, they weren’t just calling out how horrible I was because I was, they weren’t just stalking me, abusing me, interjecting any other connection (friends/office/dating) and talk poorly of me, belittling me, mocking me because I deserved it. It suddenly came to me that they were doing it because they wanted to do.
For my father it was about complete control and to diminish sense of self entirely. If I was doing well, it was all him, and if I wasn’t, I deserved complete abandonment. He would flirt and take my female friends out without informing me, he would stalk me in college, and show up everyday, he would email my telecom provider and ask them to send the call logs. I always feel like I’m being followed.
For my mother their was a weird jealousy towards daughter since birth, she hated my guts. I was terrible since the day I was born. She burnt my hand with an iron box when I was 5, she called the cops on me after a violent episode when I wouldn’t open the door, called me mentally unstable to my college, and asked to be taken away for 2 years. I ended up taking 8 years to complete college. Bad mouthing me everywhere. My extended family looks at me like I’m dirt. She’s happy in breaking me down. Violent episodes. Threatening messages. Showing up to my house, banging the door, creating a scene.
My brother I thought he was the one person who understood me in all this chaos. My rock. I was shattered when I realised that wasn’t. He was the flying monkey for my parents. Then even more insidiously, I realised he was not just the messenger, he was playing active role in my put down and abuse.
Everyone of them went relentlessly to make me the scapegoat, to strip me of my identity and replace it with their filth, to subjugate me to extreme torture and watch me in anguish.
This so called family that made it their mission to ruin me. All these dots are connecting to me now. And it’s released me actually. From this trauma bond I had, still do. I’m working very hard now to break all my negative ideas which got in my head. But I feel like I can now embark on rediscovering my life again. God and anyone who’s reading this, I hope I have the strength to fight these demons and go complete no contact. I wish you in your healing journey. ❤
I can relate. I am working on escaping my psychopathic mother and narcissistic golden child sister myself. I don’t have an avoidant narcissistic dad, though. He is aware of their abuse, just don’t understand they are abusive himself. He lacks knowledge of narcissisism.
@@msredcurtains ❤️❤️❤️❤️🤗 I just wanted you to know, you're not alone in this madness, that I believe you and feel for what you've been through ❤️ please, do all what's in your effort to get away from them before it's too late. These people can really kill your soul, sanity and then the body. I don't want to scare you but I know how dangerous they are. These monsters are not your family. A loving, sane family isn't supposed to be like that. Believe me, better to be alone in this case so you can heal and get to know healthy, human people. If you like to talk. Please let me know. I wish you peace and serenity ☺️
I wish that I could be your friend and talk to you sometimes. Although I didn’t have a father (he passed away) I went through r the exact same things with my narc mother & narc golden child sister. When I explain my family dynamic to anyone they just can’t comprehend how a mother could envy & hate her own daughter. Also, how a sibling can join in the abuse. It took me a long time to try to recover from what they did to me. I’m very low contact with them now & I’ll probably never see them again in life because I’m sure they’ll join together to try to abuse me once were around each other. I had to participate in therapy, which helped some but my mother’s abuse definitely left me diagnosed with cPTSD.
I’ve been away from them for about six years now but I couldn’t imagine if I never escaped. Best wishes to you and your healing!
When they reveal themselves, take a moment, that is a GIFT. Use that as fuel for what you inevitably need to do
A wise sage, a grasshopper you are no longer. I say this all the time in various forms. When they tell you who they are believe them.
They hold grudges. While exploition of a person for their sexuality, I was always to blame.
3:11 He's equating right & wrong and morality with societal norms and legality. Not the same thing - in fact they are often the exact opposite.
So much for experts.
@@uterushaver8309 I don’t see that at all. He said that they will act unlawfully. Then he said they will do things that are immoral. He made no connection between legality and immorality.
Yes.
"Psychopaths are broken souls to their core. They are impossible. The only way to deal with them is to get away from them" - 100% right Dr. Carter! "If you show them tender emotions all they think is they want to crush you" - Yes, they are evil!
Alister found the opposite to what you describe. I n my particular experience, this man So knew continually sought emotional response to his erratic behaviour.
I eventually decided the friendship was too suffocating, and nocked his calls, making no contact whatsoever. And I intend not and will not detract my decision to get him out of my life. Last night at 12..45 I heard a terrific crash downstairs and it was a beautiful thick glass fruit bowl. it was in two halves , one half on a deep pile carpet . There is no way this was not done on purpose, and his character was the only person to gave a spate key.! I'm just glad it wasn't my head gone for burton. ! This has put me on my guard.
@@valerieobrien5521
You need to get out to somewhere safe if he has access to you home.
@@valerieobrien5521 mine broke a stone pestle and mortar in half then said it was an accident
Scary to think that you were involved with one of them and that they were in your own family.😳 I still wonder what my egg donor really was. All I know is she had NPD at a minimum.
@@Liberty208
I find it interesting that people always refer to the narcissist or psycho in their life as "my..." or "mine...". People want to take ownership of them for some reason. Very strange.
I did not know what I was married to. We did not have all this education on these disorders back in the 70's, 80's. I was married to a dark triad for 44 years. I paid a terrible price physically, emotionally, and mentally. I have been in recovery for seven years and I am not whole yet. Please pray for me.
@@teresamacey4012 you'll get there! It's just one day at a time, with lots of self love and self care. And, forgiving ourselves as well -
@@teresamacey4012 I was married for 42 years and I also am suffering physically, emotionally and mentally. My ex husband has every single covert narcissistic trait and has antisocial personality disorder as well. I was fairing pretty well emotionally until he wanted something badly, I didn't know he wanted something badly. Then he set out to destroy me emotionally to make sure he got what he wanted. I'm still putting the pieces together and I will probably be doing so for the rest of my life. I had no idea what I was dealing with until he unleashed his venom full steam completely stunning me by who he finally revealed to me who/what he was.
@teresamacey4012 The only thing that can heal you from this type of person is Jesus. If you have not yet accepted Him as your Lord and Savior you first have got to recognize that you're a sinner in need of forgiveness and that your heart is in need of total cleansing from sin, (doing things your own way). Admit that you can't do anything or live without Him showing you the way. I thought that I got saved in 1993, but I didn't fully give Him my heart that day. But on March 13, 2001, I did. I got so sick of myself and how negative I was. I hated who I was on the inside. So after I had gotten off from work I asked Him late one night when I got alone in my room, I asked Him to remove all of that fear, confusion, anger, and hate and fill my heart with HIM. It was THE MOST amazing experience of my WHOLE entire life. I started to feel all of this toxic garbage come flying out of my mouth LIKE A RAGING FLOOD. The experience was so strong that I couldn't even stand up straight. I couldn't stop screaming. But not scream in the fearful sense of the word? It was like all of that toxicity was pouring out of a teapot. lol Then I began to laugh and laugh! It felt SO GOOD that I couldn't stop because it felt SO wonderful! It was the joy of the Lord that I was experiencing. Wherever there is joy, anger and hate can NOT exist. This will put a shield of protection around you. Begin to praise the Lord with your whole heart. And the devil will HAVE TO flee. I know this sounds to simple but it's not. First having to let go of what you're holding onto is the hardest part. Because lots of times we like our sin and doing things our way. Holding onto wanting to be vindicated and shown to be "right" can hold you from getting the breakthrough that you need from this wicked person/spirit.
I've been trying to deal with what my ex did to me and my children for almost 40 years now.
I'd rather hurt than cause anyone else any kind of pain. My brain simply cannot comprehend their thought processes.
I'm with you. It's almost incomprehensible.
Since narcissism is a mental illness, it doesn’t help to compare the neurological wiring of a healthy person to a narcissist. Narcissists are simple. They remained in “object splitting” in the first 18 months of life, and a resulting “stuck” projection process got going due to abuse. They never form a self. They require a constant stream of dopamine to calm the emerging terror of “nothingness”. The illusion of control provides that.
A person who’s position is to self sacrifice to get the narcissist their dopamine isn’t thinking clearly when they say they would rather hurt than cause anyone else any kind of pain.
The narcissist seeks out people who are looking to get their needs met by making sure that the earliest attachment figures aren’t in pain. That’s somehow “self” esteem. Sacrificing self to gain self esteem (insanity) is known in relationship addiction recovery programs as “self defeating behavior”. Perfect behavior to attract a narcissist, who believes that only he/she exists, and “others” are an extension of them.
Even better is to encourage the target’s belief that he/she is causing others pain by not carrying their pain for them.
The entire problem is driven by the dopamine provider. The narcissist isn’t an addict, because he/she cannot recover, and their dopamine is to survive. Codependents are addicts because they are not using dopamine to survive, but instead to medicate.
Codependents can and do recover. There is nothing useful in comparing narcissists to codependents, because it goes nowhere. The addict is the problem because that situation has a solution. There is no solution for the narcissist.
@Orixá Rose Yes, I totally agree that “feeling sorry” is absurd for predators. You bring up a vitally important issue. On the spectrum of Cluster B mental illness (and they are on it), those predators are at the extreme end. The mid and higher brains aren’t connected, so the lower brain has the whole show, and the rest is used for manipulation to survive. A lizard would do the same if it needed other tools to exist.
Unfortunately the targets of these predators judge them as being functional humans instead of putting up a boundary wall (like your healthy immune system does). How? The “all good, all bad” delusion (very young children “think” this way) A predator who isn’t connected to empathy isn’t in that situation.
We (who are connected to empathy) aren’t in that situation of “all good, all bad” either. As a human being we are spiritual. We need a Higher Power to be “just human”. Balancing our dark and light. A broken person would not need that. They don’t have empathy due to trauma. They are adult, traumatized infants, consumed with rage and envy. It’s just a fact. The response we need with that? That’s the most important thing to get clear on.
Unfortunately people either don’t think these people exist, or (and this is worse), they see these destroyed people as “bad”. That takes away the “response energy”. Boundaries. Instead of dealing with the fact that our own inner landscape has been traumatized (in our own family system), we use predators like this as “placeholders” for “the enemy”.
Healing attachment trauma with family creates boundaries against predators. Using predators as placeholders for not facing unhealed inner trauma is powerful projection. Protection of parents.
Predators are real, but so are we, along with everything that happened to us. Becoming real means exchanging parents as Higher Powers for a real spiritual relationship. Using predators as the “bad guys” destroying us can sort of useful. It keeps us at 4 years old. But not to avoid our inner trauma (the much, much bigger problem).
Finally, not dealing with trauma and it’s true source attracts these predators. This is how they are around anyway. For narcissists? Hating them or loving them is the same. That’s how they energize. Loving ourselves (in a Higher Power relationship) will bring a solution.
That’s why we were such great “victims” for them 🖤🦋
Exactly Me too! Thats why it took me so long to figure it out!
The enablers and those who look the other way - they all play a part in this nightmare world.
Absolutely. They don't operate in a vacuum.
@OneOFThese NotLikeTheOther That's exactly right.
@OneOFThese NotLikeTheOther Exactly!
They'd have no power or control without the enablers. Enablers are making it difficult for us to survive.
@@s.b.d.manager1272 The enablers are true cowards.
Most people will never understand how BAD these people are unless they are unfortunate enough to become closely involved with one.
"Impossible to deal with." Spot on. Any interaction just feeds them and it doesn't matter what you say.
Exactly.
It’s almost mystifying at first at how alarmingly uncomfortable it is to be in their presence but be hearing & seeing such a charming genuine person infront of you. It’s like your body knows what’s up but your mind is being tricked. Your body wants to run the hell away but your brain is intrigued. That early mystery turns into fucking terrifying lack of regard for other humans later on. But by then you’ve been tangled into their web & the way out seems so daunting that it’s almost easier to just stay caught in the web.
@@cailin5309 this is so true. I can relate to what you are saying I know my ex is a narcissist but I also am just beginning to think he is a psychopath too. Luckily I have managed to get away but it’s so scary to think I nearly didn’t.
It sounds like an exaggeration, but it's the simple truth. Get out.
🎯🎯
Walking survivor - one year free!
Congratulations 👏👏👏👏💖
One month here ✋
@@lillyandtheghosts3597 💖💖💖👏👏👏
15 yrs NC
CONGRATS! 🌺 Stay strong, Andi!
This is extremely important information for those who may not realize how deadly psychopaths are.
They are better liars than narcissists with none of the honesty to make up for it.
Yes, they are total liars because they have no remorse or empathy,therefore no feeling of guilt while lying.
lmao
Dr. Carter's recommendations for dealing with narc/psychopaths 1) Reveal as little about yourself as you can get away with. 2) Don't let them know how intimidated you are. 3) Stay neutral 4) Refuse to argue with them 5) Stay balanced with healthy friends/allies 6) Get out as quickly as you can. So helpful. Grateful for your sharing of this information!
This is my truth today 💘
So Ur going to expect every relationship to be Pyscopathic.. I doubt you'd even see one coming.
@@man_of_lawlessness Found the narc! It's you!!
I used to try to keep my Narc mom and Sis off balance by being unpredictable.
And occassionally being physically intimidating, with cold, cold eye and voice.
I was so afraid of them.
I hooked up with a creep just so I could move out.
“That’s kind of a tough one to get into...” says the well experienced, well educated psychologist with years of study on the matter. That alone should help people understand why it’s so tough trying to actually GET OUT of these kinds of relationships. If the doctor with years of experience and wisdom feels uncomfortable having to discuss this kind of behaviorally disturbed person, dealing with them is literal hell on earth. Thank you for your expertise and your sensitivity, Dr. Carter! You are so appreciated!
Absolutely! I just gave up taking about what went on at home, because other people would judge ME. I'm not the one who was acting crazy or violent, or cheating, but I was always instantly judged for staying in these relationships.
@@kathleenreardon8943 same here. I'm judged for staying. I love her
@MUSTBE1776 however you choose to take Dr. Carter’s “meaning” is your choice. It’s clear to see he finds it difficult to have to describe these kinds of people. That’s why he stated early on in the video he will NOT take these kinds of people on as clients. I personally take that to “mean” if it’s uncomfortable for a well educated, well experienced, and well concerned psychologist to speak on the matter, then that is all the proof needed to prove it’s extremely difficult to deal with/leave said type of person. Obviously, you understand and are proof of what i am saying or you wouldn’t have stayed or dealt with such person for twenty years. Hugs to you, dear one.
See the Chameleon,
Lying there in the sun,
All things to everyone,
RUN! RUN AWAY!!!!!!!
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
@MUSTBE1776 So sorry to hear this !!! You must be a kind soul who thought that you could fix him.
A psychopath can be very charming. It's one of their manipulative tools and they'll use it when they need to. Scary when you find yourself in a relationship with one.
My dad and sister are psychopaths; my mother is a narcissist but those are basically psychopaths too. All that you can do is get away from them.
Run away when they least expect it , cut off all ties , fast pray and cleanse your soul. These people are the most disgusting people to walk the earth . I had to learn the hard way .
I have the same situation, my father has passed away , but my sister who looks and acts just as he did, I think she inherited it. No one can stand to be around her. She’s very fake and flirty , pretending she’s a nice person when she’s conning unsuspecting people.
@@PRETTYGIRLSWAGG918 I left a long time ago, but it did take me forever as I thought I could fix things but couldn't.
Same here. 😔
My life story . Know it too well 😢 very dangerous and destructive
I survived a psychopath, although I take away several physical and countless emotional damages. Even though you feel totally empty, you thank God you still live.
When you see someone looking at you with amused disdain while you are half dead on the floor, you realize what „no empathy“ means.
@@maggiemae9099 Thank you for your caring and encouraging words. Yes, I will keep in fighting for my inner peace and am most grateful for such wonderful support from people like you.
@@maggiemae9099 And I hope you could overcome all the injuries your father left. All the best for you.
@Gordon Fornow Thank you for your answer. Yes, I am fine now, and recovering every day. I am glad you could avoid the worst things. I now know I will look much more closely at signs in the future. I wish you all the best.
@Orixá Rose oh poor you. Höre are you doing? Yes, they are. And still it is so hard to leave (but worth all the effort, I think). I wish you force and stamina and all the best.
@Orixá Rose exactly that,hardly anyone sees it and only about 1 in 10 can spot a psychopath,they are people possessed.
It’s so hard having the gift of empathy in a world with so many narcissists. I haven’t been in a relationship for 9 years as I was so deceived by him, a covert narcissist, I never knew such people existed! Thank you so much for your videos
@Kathy H My husband of 28 years is AT MINIMUM a COVERT Narcissist among others, including a Psychopath 😭.
@ Kathy H. I didn’t know either..if someone had told me that this kind of evil exists.. I don’t think I would have believed it 🥺
Jesus talks about this
@@Coldfront-sg3tt Jesus talks about a lot of things.
I think thats what actually happens. When your in the nightmare you cant believe it cause how do such people exist really
Ah, yes. I learned the very painful lessons about the socially pathological and why they target nice people.
I had the distinct misfortune of meeting a real life psychopath. It was truly frightening. I escaped with my life and the lessons are profound.
Thank you, Dr Carter, for your clear and insightful videos which bring this issue to light for us.
Glad you made it through ok.
Same here. I survived thank God. Glad you made it. ❤
Me to and they know other psychopaths want put up with them they target young nice people take advantage of them
Yep, I've lived with one.
@Willy Wonka me to God is good i dont think I could have gone much longer and didn't exactly know how to get away cut her off she started stalking me
That's why it's so hard to come to terms with. We wanna believe everyone has some redeeming qualities. It's very difficult to accept that some people literally don't.
I know what you mean. These types of people live in a whole different reality that is warped in their mind and they will not enter into any kind of normalcy. It's best to get away if you can.
My caregiver mother 😖 I am 40 and I'm now getting a nurse because I wanna put my hands on her. I have multiple sclerosis that doesn't mean Im stupid 😏IM DONE.
It's the same for me. Just maybe 3 years ago, I was always touting that "there's good in everyone"; and, "there's a light inside of everyone", things like this. I was almost toxically positive about it. Well, the devil must've heard me; because he sent some of these types of people, my way, after my husband died. Oh yes; and those memes that say things like, "Those who stay, during your darkest times, are your real friends...." etc: well, after my husband died, those who entered my life, or became a bigger part of my life, as so-called "friends", were these types of people. They stuck around me, to literally destroy me. One told me, "I'll always be in your corner." My thought was, "Yeah, you'll always be in my corner, trying to destroy me."
@@GG-ul8ne 🙌💪😇
well the sooner you realize it the sooner you can free yourself from it
The US criminal justice system has no clue regarding the information in this video. My father was a malignant narcissist as well as a pedophile. My son is a psychopath who is no stranger to arson, theft, and fraud. It has been very difficult surviving in the middle of this lifelong nightmare. Excellent video, thank you.
My heart goes out to you. This is my reality, too. The story is different but the theme is the same. Sometimes it was a living hell. Their capacity for targeted harm is unlimited.
I just reread and need to correct. The theft and fraud... Check. How about scapegoating, smear campaigns, triangulation, and targeted sabotage?
If your father was a MN, and your son is a psychopath, you might want to look into getting evaluated yourself. Chances are high that you have something along those lines as well.
I dated a person who is like this and that was the worst relationship I ever had. But what makes it so sad , when you approach them with their behavior, the get angry and actually turn the tables on you. They stalk you and use others to help them try to destroy you.. I made it out and very happy with someone else.
Wow, sounds exactly like what my sister did to me.
Yes, that's the most frustrating part. Because of course all you want is heal each other. But that person will do everything to turn the spotlight of madness away from them and put it on you.
I was married to one of these for 20 yrs....I made it out alive.....
25, any challenge?
@@patmorote6900 seriously? It's not a competition much less something to brag about!? 🙄😒🤦♀️😬🥱🤔
@@patmorote6900 28 for me, but 2 of those were getting my divorce. I have seen many who say they survived 30-40 years with one of these "individuals".
@@tdr_paraadvisor3996 It is not bragging, it is a survivor's testimony.
Twyla klumpp, not bragging, just happy to have survive the ordeal. By the way, can't divorce, she's got me to the cleaner and lost everything. Now we are both dirt poor.
I was married to one for 15 years and had two children with her. She could have been the poster creature for Dr. Robert Hare's book, "Without Conscience". What an ugly protracted divorce and custody fight, 9 lawyers, 46 times in court or discoveries, 8 years of legal and psychological fees. 30 years later; still dealing with PTSD. These creatures should not be loose where they can have power over normal humans.
Same experience for me. Marriage lasted 30 years with every kind of abuse. Stole all financial resources then ran off with a girlfriend. Used to hurt my pets to get at me. Delighted in causing pain in others & would even videotape reactions to his awful abuse. Kept me coming to court to avoid paying child support. Went nuts when I went no contact. Now he uses 2 of our children to try & control me. Tells them to hate their brother & myself. He is an alcoholic with heart disease. Totally miserable without any friends.
Omg...I wonder how much those legal fees were..yes they give us ptsd...
This is a spiritual battle. I prayed with the book of Psalms and received good godly people who came on my path and helped me! I thank the Lord for good people!🕊️
What prayer did you use?
Praise God! He helped me get OUT! 🙌🏻🙏🏻❤️💕
@@msfcarmichael Psalm 27 is a good one. There are many Psalms which are helpful. I would suggest reading all of them to find the one that resonates with you.
Oh wow me too, was married for 9 years, totally evil. I was receiving all my scriptures out of the book of psalms.
Demonic to their core, only our Lord can help us !
You can hear Dr. C's compassion in his voice.
Truer words were never spoken! Dr. C is a fabulous human and makes up for the psychopathic abusive ex husband I managed to get away from with my life and amazingly my mind! He ruined my life but I am thankful I am away from him.
very credible !!!
It really helped me with my cognitive dissonance !
I find it easy to ignore many speakers on the subject, but I still realize they're right .
Dr. C is the dad we all needed when we had one of the dark ones as a dad. Listening to him makes me cry. So cathartic.
You can also see how wearying he found it and how disturbing these people are to him. Imagine having one as a mother, I do. Vicious.
I am married to one... And he broke me so many times. I am now more bitter and angry than I ever was. May the Lord help me to leave and restore my broken soul.
So grateful to be out of his prison of cruelty...I cannot even think of the vicious things that he would say to me when in a rage as they are so far from anything I could ever think or say....truly psycho.
To all the survivors, don't hesitate to see someone for help regarding PTSD.
Also cptsd. A person can have either one of or both ptsd & cptsd. They differ.
@@sixthsenseamelia4695 how?
@@patmorote6900 Hello Pat. I'm in the process of learning the definitions, so rather than give incorrect or misleading information I've posted some links for you as a place to start. I've added the 3rd one because I think its insightful to not only childhood but adult relationship abuse. I hope these are helpful. I originally was diagnosed with ptsd (due to one particular event) however it didn't fully take other aspects into account. Turns out, after working on the ptsd incident with my doctor, a person can have both.
🌏🌱
@@patmorote6900
Crappy Childhood Fairy
th-cam.com/video/zAYFIgq8Ixw/w-d-xo.html
Dr Todd Grande. Differences in acute chronic & complex trauma:
th-cam.com/video/NH3O3rfxMPg/w-d-xo.html
Tricky families
th-cam.com/video/EBpF8sWycQQ/w-d-xo.html
Describes my sister. Entire immediate family has stopped contact because she can’t change and the continual abuse from every angle is untenable. She tried to suffocate me repeatedly when I was a child - she was born the way she is. She was my personal terrorist for many years and I thought that’s just how life was. One thing you didn’t touch on was the incredible charisma they seem to possess - it was fascinating to watch her interact with people and see their responses to her. She’d have people eating out of her hand within minutes - but at some point it would always go bad and usually ended up terrible. I learned to try and stay out of the damage path but a psychopath’s tantrum when they don’t get what they want is unreal. Agree with the Doctor - there is no positive outcome with this triad - any good they see happen to you will be promptly removed/diminished/spoiled in any way they can so they will feel superior and have more control over you. They will also actively sabotage anything good that they see around you. My sis can mimic emotions like an academy award winning actor. Avoid at all costs.
I am unable to cope up with mine , it only gets worse ,my immediate family is in no way supportive , I feel sorry for them but I am unable to gather myself and leave , I see no way out
You have put it perfectly, and I want to add that I have one of these ..decades of theft,lies...I finally removed for good from my life once my parents were both deceased..Pure evil..
@@heatherwhittaker6169 My other sister thinks she’s demon possessed. Most of the time nature and the darker aspects of humanity are sufficient explanation for just about any behavior - however heinous and evil. I’m sorry that you understand fully and empathize. :(
I am right there with you. I have a sister like you are describing also. My parents are gone and I have become her scapegoat. I am 2 weeks no contact now! Waiting with bated breath, the wrath that is coming my way. Shared with my son that I am a bit afraid!
@@heatherwhittaker6169I had one of those.
She stabbed our father to death in 2000.
NEVER underestimate them.
Criminal activity is the number one thing to look out for. Every person I've known who is an abuser, psychopath and/or narc have zero respect for others and for society in general, and it shows in their ability to repeatedly break the law - Drug taking or dealing, assaulting others, repeated and very dangerous traffic violations (not just a few minor speeding tickets).
They lack the ability to detach from "the world revolves around you" phrase. They truly believe it does. It's very disturbing to live amongst such individuals and share our workplaces, our roads, our schools, our lives with them.
My narc would call in “favors” when he got traffic tickets. He has looked for years for ways to cheat on his taxes. This past year, he was really angry because he couldn’t hide money in an IRA. We are separated now and I have the kids, so you can imagine the hell it’s been for the kids and me.
My dad has gotten three speeding tickets and hasn’t taken responsibility for any of them.
@@morningsong8077 Yes! They love to beg and plead for someone else to take responsibility! My ex was the same!
Also, corporate big shots doing high tech / dangerous crap. Writing books and copyright their work. All the while being crazy and dangerous. Stealing equipment from the corporations and data. Evil. Gaslighting and absolutely no empathy remorse ect. Pediphile.
@@puregrit8057 that's a dangerous statement. Successful CEO's are decidedly not all psychopaths. They are overwhelmingly hard working and goal oriented though. That does not a psychopath make.
Was married to one. After 6.5 miserable years, I was able to get away. No tears and never looked back.
dont look back, it’s their fault not yours
cool story Yanny
Good for you. No contact, no contact, no contact!!!
Good for you. No contact, no contact, no contact!!!
Me too sister!
My sister which is 11months older was always a fan of the villains of the disney movies and then as we got older she told me she loved telling people the truth because she loved to see the pain it caused ..when I finally broke free from her control shes had all my life she flipped my whole family against me called me the psychopath and just raged with anger every chance she got i no longer have a relationship with her try and stay as far away from her as i can she is what they call a demon. THANK YOU FOR THESE VIDEOS ❤️
My sister exactly....they believe her because I'm crazy!!! She's tried to kill herself many times...
Survivor of a sadistic narcissist boyfriend. 3 years free. I didn't realized there were people out there like this. Thank you for sharing this info.
Bless ✊💚💙xx
I wish schools would teach the signs of NPD and teach empathy skills. I am sorry you went through that. The more we talk the better.
@@SybilKibble thank you Sybil. They sure should teach this stuff in 🏫. Much gratitude 🙏
@@SybilKibble agree.. happy to chat
I'm glad you're out!
They dismiss instantly. Then wait a year and call you and act as if nothing ever happen.
Or the converse: you disappear on them, and they pop up suddenly and, in what she did to me, dangerously.
When you attempt to distance yourself from someone like this, they can (and often will) become very dangerous people. And you will feel alone because they're very good at disguising how dangerous they are.
"I am a great actor"
" I am a professional liar"
Two phrases constantly repeated by my former husband.
He felt those were wonderful traits.
lol he felt those were wonderful traits. lol
lmaof "professional liar" lol
The one I knew wanted to pass on his sage advice "if you're going to tell a lie tell a big one". He certainly made a habit of it. Criminality, cruelty, utter disregard for others, manipulation in the extreme, it was all there. But he knew how to be charming and everyone bought it. Nobody listens to little kids. I could have used this video 30+ years ago!
And just for the record, he made it so impossible to earn pocket money that every week I owed him money from my paper route. Petty, but there was a big ledger I had to fill in including polishing his shoes and washing the car etc. I'm sure we're all resisting the urge to vent list upon list of things.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
This particular type of psychopathic narcissist is also from what I understood a lot less fear-driven, more calculated, aware, and smarter than the narcissists lower on the spectrum. There is a tiny minority of narcissists who are actually aware of what they are and use therapy as a way of "fine-tuning" themselves into becoming a better / more effective narcissist. The only solution is to get away from them and get therapy on our own.
My mother is dark triad, my youngest sister is as well. Remorseless, cruel people who have done everything they could to hurt me, cut me down, totally destroyed my life and my family. It has amazed and horrified me to see the patterns my mother created and how my sisters carried it on. Im 57 and have finally gone no contact and am finding peace for the first time in my life.
They want to hurt you, they wont stop, they will only find other ways. Get out, stay away and dont ever go back. Thank you for your help!!
"Brutal beasts meant to be taken and destroyed."
Menace to society.
Lost and gone long from before they have free will. So sad. Basically zombies.
@@Potato-fv9ns nobody had free will, autonomy in a practical sense is you enacting a framework of behaviour like anyone else. Just like some play predator, some are doomed to play victim, some play both when it suits their needs. Humans are wierd huh 😅
Pray to God and ask for protection endlessly.
Works 🙌🏾
I literally cried when you said ,"have enough self respect and sense of dignity...."
I truly want that for you, Shilpa. Dr. C
This describes my mother so well. She's very good at hiding it, though. When I was a child, all my friends told me how nice she was and they wished their mom was like that. Even now, the few friends that have met her think she's so sweet. They have no idea how wrong they are. I was emotionally, verbally, mentally, and physically abused my whole childhood and well into adulthood. What made it worse is that I'm a highly sensitive person as well as an introvert. It took me years to finally see her for what she is. Now I live 600+ miles away from her and rarely speak to her. As she gets older (74 tomorrow) she hasn't been able to hide it as well and the rest of my family are finally seeing what I have seen all my life.
Story of my life but only that the siblings don’t see it but me
That’s my exact same story
Maranda, I am so sorry to see these replies that seem to enable your dark triad person or somehow soften your experience JUST BECAUSE SHE IS YOUR MOTHER. That sounds seriously f-ed up. Enjoy the distance you’ve managed to create for yourself and don’t feel guilty about looking forward to the rest of your life without that kind of abuse. Hell, buy a special bottle of booze and reserve it especially for the day she dies. I know I will. Some people will never understand that the relationship with a mother who shows such extreme and detached behavior targeted specifically at you for years (while she takes all credit for who you have become and is complemented on her “mothering”) is not the same as “not seeing eye to eye”. It’s not like she grounded you. She fucked with you in the same way primary school kids with a magnifying glass fuck with ants. For years. In no way are you “victimizing” yourself by sharing your experiences. I am glad that old age is showing her for who she is so all the people who have been fed untrue, disgusting stories will (hopefully) see them for what they are: part of a carefully planned smear campaign against the one person she should have protected, her daughter. I’m proud of you for living your best life because it ain’t easy...
Dang, I’m 71 and you just described my LIFE with my mom! She didn’t raise me, so after I was grown, she always try to make me to conform to being her! 🤦🏽♀️
Es
You're the father figure I've never had and always needed in my life. Thanks for sharing and caring sir. God bless you! 🙏🏻
Me too!!! Thank you, Dr. C.
My father was my first PSYCHOTIC NARCISSISTIC
Ditto.
4 days into exiting a decade with exactly this type of Narc! The trauma bond is horrific despite the violence, control and whole spectrum of abuse. This video is really helpful, thank you!
Wish I'd known this 40 years ago. These videos have changed my life. Better late than never.
Suzanne Bertussi,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌷🌺🌹,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!
I am a survivor of this personality. GOD protected and the children. Nearly 3years free. Thank God.
Thank you Dr Carter 🙏
God always protect It. I'm here to tell to you.
This is important for ppl to understand and how serious it is… they can also have some deeply paranoia that is really dangerous
You just described my father. He was the biggest piece of true human garbage I was forced to deal with in my lifetime. A man comprised of meanness, hatred, anger, and sadism. I was overwhelmed with sheer joy and relief on the day of his funeral..
This sounds bad but it's so nice to hear this from people. I'm not the only one. We are the normal ones. We are the good people. Society is better off without their evil. ❤
@@NikkiGregory Thank you for your understanding and supportive words!
People who have not had to deal with that can’t understand how natural it is for you to feel that way. I understand your sentiment completely.
@@WDBDWK Thank you kindly!
Relief anyway, huh?wonder what dead people like that are doing?👻
The shame and blame game , " i will get you my little pretty and your little dog too "
Exactly. Mine actually tied my dog’s neck with a leather belt tried to hang him. RIP Bootsie
🤣🎯
My mother was such a psychotic sadistic witch, and so similar to the witch in the Wizard of Oz movie, played brilliantly by actor Margaret Hamilton, that for most of my life I believed she must've modelled her scary threatening personality on that movie villain. But recently I found out that she and Hamilton were students together in the same Actor's Studio class long before I was born or the Wizard of Oz movie was released. It began to dawn on me that when Margaret Hamilton created her famous role, she had to be thinking of the wickedest and most sadistic people she'd ever known, and she was probably thinking also of her method actor training classes. In other words, instead of my mother imitating Hamilton's witch character, it is far more likely that Hamilton created her evil witch character based on having known my mother! Yes, I believe my mother was the original template for the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz.
Yes, my ex tortured my dog to get to me...I had to rehome him to keep him from harm..it broke my heart..ex never asked about him, not once..
@@theharringtons2010 that bastard!
My older brother is a paranoid schizophrenic narcissist, and we have a long history of physical and psychological abuse. I've always been afraid of what he'll do to get what he wants from me, and I know I'll never be free of fear while he's alive.
They are at the highest level off evil. Dealing with one at the moment 💀
I’m sorry you’re going through that😔 I was once in your situation for 15 years... stay strong❤️
Leave and don’t worry about their feelings....release yourself from those chains...that guilt is for them to bear...not you God bless you
Stay strong and get away as soon as your able to break free.
I hope you'll get out asap! I wish you strength and God bless you!
That you folks . 👍
I only recently understood the Narcissistic Personality Disorder and how it's affected my life. I'm glad you differentiated between NPD and NPD with psychopathy. My mother was a narcissistic psychopath. Never showed remorse, guilt, or empathy and was delighted when she figured out how to hurt someone that she perceived "wronged" her. I remember being 8 years old, and my poor dad had finally escaped. I had to stay with her. My dad willing supported 2 households by taking 2 jobs. My mother came barreling into the living room with the biggest, happiest smile on her face I'd ever seen. Being 8, I got happy with her until I found out what she was happy about. She found a place that would deliver dead roses and was going to have them delivered to my dad's main workplace for everyone to see. Then she happily bounced out of the room to order them. I was kinda buying into her "stories" about my dad at that time, but her excitement over that freaked me out. It got worse as I got older. Even worse when I became the target. I went on to marry a narcissist because I didn't understand what I had been dealing with yet. But my ex-husband did have a conscience at times. He was an ass and abusive, but it was different than my mom. He actually had moments of regret and remorse. My mother never did. And she totally stalked me. I had to block her from everything. If she found put I had.a new friend, she'd track that person down, spin her tale about "how much she loved me" then once they were sucked in, drop a story and how "sick I've always been." And she was extremely intelligent and convincing. It was scary.
I'm devastated to find out after ten years this was the man I loved , as an empath he has almost destroyed me 😞
❤❤❤ I am so sorry to hear.
You're right, Dr. C. The court system is their playground. And they're happy to spend many years and many thousands of dollars (of your money) to keep litigation going forever. They regard even a Pyrrhic victory as still a victory. Everyone and everything goes down in flames, and they enjoy the entire process.
Not to mention, many judges suffer from the same disease and enjoy inflicting pain with no conscience 😪
My daughter is going through that very thing. It is a nightmare for all of us.
We found they kept court going so they could see and frighten their victims. Over and over.
I was told I had no choice but to suffer his abuse for the rest of my life. Other people whom seem to have some or all Dark Triad issues have been helping him make good on his threats EVEN with a signed and notarized ACKNOWLEDGMENT. the court system is where demons covertly gang rape vulnerable people. It's where the victims are REvictimized. No amount of PROOF matters when you have these kinds of people in control of EVERYTHING.
No wonder Betty Broderick killed her Ex -he was a lawyer-irony- SHE PAID FOR HIS J.D.degree.
Several years ago I began learning that most of my relatives are very similar to this, narcassistic/psycopathic especially my mother and I'm a disabled veteran with hardly any money or resources to deal with them.
They've stolen homes from me, a family, cars, everything. Need legal help but can't with no money.
God please help me. God bless everyone.
Become an AARP member. They have everything out there for veterans and likely could refer you to resources.
Wish I would have known this 30 years ago. He's still trying to kill me to this day, and our court system seems to be giving him everything he wants
I think what finally made me realize how dark my family really is, is when I came to realization that the neglect and psychological abuse and maybe even physical abuse; carried right over into adulthood and for now almost two decades. The manipulation, dehumanizing and attacks simply never stopped no matter what I changed about myself!
You just described my mother, I'm 58 and still recovering. As I was raised by father Covert and mother overt, 1 sibling he the golden child me the scapegoat, he turned out to be a narcissist as well. They act like I don't exist, which is win for me. I don't miss them, I chose the path of healing...
This is me. Trying to escape as of now.
Congrats to you both!🎉
They will smile sweetly at you and as they turn their face away all trace of emotion vanishes, leaving a near robotic countenance. Creeps me out something awful and I keep faaaaaar away from them.
The life is hell with the narc, now think your life with a narc and psychopathic, what is your life will be? .... I have been reading many books, researches papers and still to read deep down about the dark triad...
The dark triad personality traits are three closely related yet independent personality traits that all have a somewhat malevolent connotation. The three traits are machiavellianism (a manipulative attitude), narcissism (excessive self-love), and psychopathy (lack of empathy)...May the Lord help us all and keep us safe from these dark entities and their dark demons ...
He will. Psalm 120 & 121.
I think a more correct term to "self-love" is really "self-admiration".
Millions are raised by them.
I do wonder for some time now if my husband is not in the psychopathic range as well. For years I thought he is a covert narc but the extent he will go to take revenge and punish me it is unbelievable. He is extremely, extremely cunning. I see absolutely no remorse or shame for his behavior,0. He do throw people away literally like old socks and the vengeance that lies in him scare me really. But...for the outside, he have such a calm I cant even explain. And I know that when he is more calm,he is up to something and this scares me so much...
@Angela Nicoletti ,thank you for your kind words. Im preparing my escape but for me is extremely difficult because we have 2 kids and I'm in a foreign country, his country, without a job and not enough money for divorce. He does have a lot of money and he is extremely CUNNING and manipulative. He is already use the kids to torture me and intimidate me and alienate them from me. I did try a few times to escape but each time I had to stay still and keep my mouth shut. He is not afraid of police and anyways he does everything extremely covert so that I can't proove anything. But with all the fear and the consequences, I do intend to leave next spring. Thank you very much for sharing that beautiful biblical words as well. Im very happy for you because you left. God bless you and make your life peaceful and happy from now on .
I had a relationship with a man like this. It almost destroyed me. I am an empath and could not believe such a soul exisits. The sad part, I really love him. I thankfully went into therapy as I thought I was suicidal. I still struggle to stop caring about this soul and he called and told me he had a new girlfriend. I wish I could warn her. :(
Sophie,You deserve better
Why would a normal person take time out of their glorious life to call/text u to hurt u? Why would they think you even care? Definitely a narcissist action in that person’s fault. I hope you recognize & are able to stop speaking of your love for your abuser in the present tense soon.
I hope you don't get calls from him anymore. If you still do, change your phone number and tell everyone who you give it to, not to tell your ex about your new number.
Is sounds as if you still have contact with him such as accepting his phone calls or you calling him? If so, please stop. You deserve to be content and happy and not in a relationship with someone who is out to hurt you dilberately and smear it in your face. Is this love or codependency? Girl, love yourself and begin your healing journey. The only way to heal is to start living your life with him not in it. Get into therapy to break these trauma bonds. If you continue to interact with him you will never heal and find resolve and peace. Love yourself first not him.
I hope you’ve moved on and are doing better now!! You should be proud of yourself taking steps to protect your peace and leave a bad situation. Regarding your ex - if you haven’t already, you’ll need to block him and avoid contacting him or anyone in his life. Best outcome you can hope for is that he moves on and forgets about you.
I'm logging every incident and documenting everything!
100%accurate in all your statements. Thank you so much. I was married to one for 25 years, five children... absolute hell on earth. I was catholic and”of course” divorce was out of the question.thank God he left me for a much younger woman, a true blessing in disguise.I’m in my eighties now. It has been over 40 years. It left so much pain and emotional damage . Also financial damage. I have made it through, as well as the children....what a journey. Thanks for your very informative videos.
💓
I am so sorry for your pain. Just divorced after 40 years!
@Maryann Dolan
I understand exactly what you went through! I am 72 and I too was married to my Narcissist husband for 45 years, with 3 children. I found out that he was cheating on me. My youngest, my daughter, was about to turn 2 and I threw him out. But this lasted only for a week. My kids were so upset and my 7 1/2 year old son was very angry with me for " making Daddy go away ". I too believed in my vows of
" for better or worse " and " until death do you part", but my conflict was unfaithfulness is in the Bible for a reason to negate the bonds of marriage. Anyway, foolishly I took him back, believing his lies that it was over, would never happen again, he was sorry, and would I forgive him. When asked why he did this ( I always want to know the reason for things) he basically turned it on me by saying that she was non-hostile, thereby insinuating that I was. Long story short, I stayed with him for 45 years. I had made the decision that I would and could take whatever he dished out to me, as long as my children were cared for. I didn't want my kids to grow up with a single mom with 3 kids, struggling as a member of " the new poor ", as single mothers were known as. You see, I put him through Medical School, and worked for the next 5 years throughout his Internship and Residency " supporting Us ". I thought that we had decided to have a baby, but in the only therapy session we went to together, he revealed an entirely different story by telling the therapist " that she never liked my job, but when we found out she was pregnant, we decided to stay together. " Holy shit, I was floored! I was under such a delusion of what I thought about our marriage and children compared to his idea. Something like he was then obligated to stay. Long story short, when the kids were now young adults in their 20's and early 30, I finally found the guts and the resolve to file for divorce. At least now his crap ( not emotionally of course) would only effect me, and boy, he did not disappoint. As you said of yours, financially I was totally cut off. Boom. It's sad, that at then 63 years old and making $8/hr at a part-time job and being forced to close my business, which depended slightly on him for aid, that thankfully my Dad could help me with lawyers fees,food for me and the breeding stock of horses I had, electricity etc.. he didn't want to see me lose everything I had worked so hard to achieve. The divorce was the cruelest, worst thing that I had ever gone through in my life. I had some really tough times in my life too. I got Polio at 9 months, had 15 orthopedic surgeries and learned to walk and then eventually played tennis and competed horses. I had excelled in school, despite being AD/HD. Back then they just called you hyper and
" you just need to settle down and focus on your own task ". And so much more that no one really cares about. The divorce was 4 + horrible years of County and then State Supreme court case battles that cost each a fortune. Luckily for me, he had been so outrageous, cruel and lied so much, that the judges found in my favor and gave me the farm. His mother, my soon to be ex mother-in-law , even sued me for the $42,000 dollars her son owed her! Yep,I bet that was a first! Anyway, it has been 10 years since the divorce, he has since passed 6 months after it was final, and I am still living with the aftermath of my whole life being, other than my children, wasted with and damaged by this one person who originally I had loved deeply and thought that he loved me. It was all a lie ,and at times I am angry with myself for being " so stupid " for failing into his game. I will never have a meaningful relationship with another man. I don't trust my judgement. And since I made such a horrific choice to begin with, I don't want to take the chance of another one. Mostly I am happy being alone with no real conflicts in my life. Yes, I get lonely and wish that I had someone who cared for and about me, but it's not worth the risk. It's sad, but the damage that these people do is very deep and lifelong. Maybe I would be better off if I had left the marriage back then. But I will never know and " it is what it is ".
This message is to Jinx King….thanks for your wonderful sharing message. As we go through our life from babyhood to old age so many unexpected happenings take place. Some of them are from our own lack of knowledge, trust in the wrong people, no one to confide in with confidence.. I alwaystold parents when they called,”everything was fine😢”. I was ashamed, I was to.told I was dumb,etc. etc. non of it was true. Luckily my children are kind and loving to me. None of them know the whole story. Life is a journey that is almost beyond description. Thank you again for your sharing, it helps to know we are not alone🥰
@@maryanndolan6508 the church must know about narsism and what to do about it ....but never mind , say the Holy Rosary , Our Lady will be there to help you always , narsists are demon possessed!
"You knew I was like this when you met Me" PSYCHOPATH 🚩🚩🚩
Me: I woke up to a stranger
I was with the psychopath for 21 years. I suffered horrific abuse at the hands of him. I’ve been free of him 8 years now. I’m still not healed. I suffer with chronic anxiety and continue to attract narcs. My tolerance is low so I don’t stay around too long once I see that it’s toxic or have the potential to be.
20 years into a marriage with one, I never had the strength to escape for myself, but he's destroying the children. Now I have no choice.
Please get away from him.
I was with one for fifteen yrs. I have been gone from him many yrs yet almost every time I leave my house he breaks in and destoys veverything i
He lets off bug bombs in my house with my animals inside he fucks up every thing I own shaves my clothes n blankets with a razor things a normal person would never think of doing I had to get a storage to put some things in so they arnt totally destroyed he even got in with a security system he used to choke me unconscious vertu dangerous he's working on destroying my vehicle now my family doesnt believe me either I will never have peace of mind as. Long as I livr close enough for him to stop by. He's a demons through n through
I was alone with my psychopathic husband living nomadically for 10 years. I'm still divorcing him almost three years later, but I, too, like others commenting, can say I survived. Not just physically, but my soul made it out intact. I'll spend my life trying to make sense of how these kind of dark souls can exist but, still, I'm grateful to be alive.
Bless 💜💚💙 xxx
👍
Suddenly all people in the comment section had a psychopathic relative in their life.
@@evilangel1457 I don't think it's that uncommon.
Narcissists are common , Sociopaths are uncommon But Psychopaths are rare .
"Impervious to the pain they cause..." I saw that in my ex on more than one occasion. I don't think he actually sets out to hurt people, he just doesn't care if it happens. I told him exactly what he did that hurt me, and why it hurt, and all I got back was denial, deflection and rationalization. No apology. No remorse. No acceptance of any responsibility whatsoever. And he wondered why I left him.
I totally understand.
My ex was the same way. Narcs/Psychopaths are such losers.
I had a similar experience with my ex (pending). I was stunned by her response. She said, "Get over it!" I couldn't believe it.
Beware that when you are looking for allies, that they may already have executed a preemptive smear campaign about you. I also wish you would use the word evil instead of broken. I have no sympathy for them as I would for someone who is truly broken.
A narcopath isn't just born, they are created. Often by what are considered socially acceptable upstanding but fanatical parents. Religion or military for example.
I developed my working definition of evil from my grandmother. "seeks to usurp the agency of another to feed their own ego, and self-aggrandizement."
@@dcg31free you stated that so well. I have so many memories of walking into a room and feeling an intense dislike from people for no apparent reason. Now I’m realizing it was a smear campaign.
I would be careful about the distinction between broken and evil. I would hope most are broken rather than evil though not saying evil dosen't exist by no means. That said I believe, though not a psychologist, that narcissism and possibly psychopathy stems from a deep emotional scar from childhood and possibly the way to go about treating the issue albeit no doubt a painful, lengthy and arduous task!
@Gordon Fornow I avoid the entire state of Vermont. I still don't know all the lies that were told about me, but at this point i do not want to know. But being geographically present where sudden, horrendous, inexplicable abuse occurred, that I will not do. There is no way to ever correct their misperceptions. I was 'slimed'. They really are soul killers.
This is such an accurate video. My (soon to be ex) husband, is one of those who recognizes his psychopathic characteristics (he’s a malignant narc) and totally “accepts” and values that part of himself. He’s okay with it. And that’s when the abuse gets scary.
My ex boyfriend is the same. He went to school for this stuff too. Definitely weaponized his education and I should have known better when he asked me if I had ever taken a psychopath test in one of our first meet ups. Red flag!
@Tara-id3rk: My ex-fiance was that way, too, a malignant narc. He proudly admitted his bullying personality, said "I'm a scapper." ) (More like a bull-crapper!). And he bragged abt how he never studied in hs/college, just "somehow got good grades". Once, in stop & go traffic, he was rubber-necking an accident, & collided w/the car in front of us, totalling his car. The police officer on the scene witnessed it, & chastised him for not paying attention. My ex was fuming! He was humiliated (in front of me), stared straight ahead, refused to look at, reply, or acknowledge the cop. The 1 situation where he cdnt bully another person, & get away w/ it. Used to pat himself on the back, thought he was elite & superior...Once he screamed in rage, in my face, to intimidate me; his skin turned "white w/ rage" (it's a real thing!), foamed/spittle at the mouth, trembling, jaws clenched...and then the eyes turned EMPTY... he wasn't there anymore, like he dissociated, truly frightening! Oh, if only I'd know abt narcs back then! All the signs were there, I just didn't know.
They're a bunch of control freaks. If anyone says something like "you're in my future" and you don't even know the creep...Ruuuunnnn!
My mother and grandma started the destruction, my narcissistic psychopath ex tried to finish the job. These people get away with murdering your spirit and everything you are. In the end they justify their actions and behavior so that you somehow deserved to be destroyed, even if they claim you are their best friend. Idk why people like that have to exist at all and there are more of them then people realize. Though it only takes a few to influence the entire population. Some people never really recover after a relationship or encounter with a psychopath because of the heavy grief, despair and intricately ingrained learned hopelessness they seed in others. Sometimes it's enough that they intentionally plant seeds inside the minds of others, sit back and entertain themselves in watching these seeds of destruction take place. They may even try and convince you to kill yourself at your lowest most vulnerable point. At some point they may try and strangle you and if you don't leave, eventually they may plan your literal death. The only thing between you and that fine line is whether in that moment, they have the ability to follow through with the impulse. They may not all be serial killers but these types are for sure behind many suicides and mental hospitalizations. Their victims/survivors pay the price for the void in them. Imagine saving the life of someone like this who will go on to damage people in severe ways.
👏👏👏 I use to think about this too, they're capable and some of them does push people to suicide at their lowest point in their life's and sometimes they're the ones pushing you to this point to then help pull the trigger. This subject needs to get on the surface, people and especially young people, need to know about these personalities.
Yes and I tried to seek therapy and she didn't even know what a narc was!!! Yea that's gonna help us...
They absolutely DO attempt to murder your spirit and who you are as a person in every way they legally can!!!
The terror that these people inflict is unbelievable.
'RUN, Forrest, RUN!' I have been dealing with this exact person (happens to be an 82 year old woman) since June...never have I ever felt so much fear in my almost 50 years of living. Self-care is indeed what I keep coming back to. Thank you Dr. Carter.
@Gordon Fornow yep, sounds way to familiar. Hang in there...I am trying my best to do the same. This too will pass, someday.
Run forest! Love it! I get you big time! I’m out after 30 year relationship and so x trying to get a divorce, after a year of hell finalised dec 1 but he still didn’t go quietly even though living out n different county 🏃🏻♀️🏃🏼♂️
These kinds of people always seem to live the longest. It's like they survive on pure spite. It sucks.
@@m0L3ify yes indeed!!!!
@@yvonneflanagan2312 oh gosh, hang in there...
It was 49 years for me. And I also made it out. Through all your coaching and the Lord. Bless you.
You described my toxic, entitled sister perfectly. She and her husband gladly took thousands from me over the past ten years without any thanks. When I bought a house in their town in southern Ireland , she tried to manipulate me to use my house for her own business practice at no cost to her, of course. Failing that, they tried to get me to rent out the house to her son and his girlfriend. The price they "suggested" would leave me out-of-pocket by 450 every month! Yet, they earn enough to go on six foreign holidays every year and show-off on Facebook! I don't go on holidays and look after my 100-year-old mother on a part-time basis every week. She never helps in any way.
She wanted her husband to do all the jobs on the house (for an excellent price) and when he stopped after three jobs, I employed others to do the jobs or did them myself. This enraged her and so began a smear campaign that has been expanding for three years now. I don't speak to her and she is now smearing people in the town with whom I interact. In public, she is the sweetest, caring and most moral person but slanders the same people begin their backs as well.
My father used to say that there was "a bad drop in her" forty years ago around the time that she slashed a boyfriend in the face with a broken bottle. He was still saying it shortly before he died.
They can say that they've changed until they're blue in the face, but a broken soul cannot be mended.
Roberta Rubin,You got a lovely smile 😊
This was terrific, as usual, but tough to listen to. When I finally figured out I was dealing with the dark triad personality and that I had not only fallen in love but also let him into my life and home, I was devastated. I'm a year out, and these are still tough concepts for my empathetic brain to grasp. Thank you for your work.
Same. I was intensely love bombed and our shared fantasy was so enjoyable for me that admitting the truth of what I saw when the mask slipped, just seemed like something I had made up in my mind about him, or it was my fault that he showed his ugly side, I thought that I must have done something to make him act that way. It’s chilling to think about what could have happened had I stayed. Six months post break up, no contact, I am just now starting to think of him fondly again, as if the cruel monster that I saw behind the mask has become not as bad as I thought. I wont contact him again for sure, but I ponder on the strangeness of these random thoughts of him, almost pining. What’s wrong with me?
Keep going forward. Read and watch videos and learn all you can about narcissism. They are talented actors and they target us for our empathy and goodness. Don't waste time criticizing yourself for falling for him; he listened to you enough to make himself look like the perfect man for you so you'd fall in love. Then they start doing crap like staying away for weeks at a time to see how connected you are and whether you react to their bad behavior. Enjoy your life and be good to yourself; don't let him occupy your mind or waste your time being angry. Let it go and move on. The first year is the hardest but it does get easier as you find yourself again and give yourself the empathy and support you wasted on him.
exactly...I can't grasp their desire to hurt people.
@@ruthkaplan5539 Thank you. Very wise words.
@Rex Flannigan Thank you for your thoughtful words. I haven’t gone back and won’t. He never even hoovered me. I’m thankful for that. It’s been almost a year. It doesn’t hurt anymore, it’s just a weird part of my life that I cannot reconcile in a healthy way because it was always a fantasy, it was never real, and that is hard to accept. It’s as if he was just a ghost. I’m fortunate that I got out before I changed my entire life for him. He had convinced me to sell my successful business and relocate with him half way across the country. Within 3 months he did that! I hope that you are well and continue to heal and move forward. I cannot imagine what this must feel like for you. You were in it for a very long time. God bless you.
Dr. C, you just described what I’ve been living with for the past 42 years. Pray and wish me luck… I’m getting OUT!! Thank you so much
Praying!
Praying!
Good for you, that’s way past long enough. Good luck and prayers sister!
"Their low level of conscience that just allows them to embrace this meanness as a way of life."
not low level, they don't have it
When I told her she was being mean, I thought she'd be shocked at how blunt I'd said it. Nope. "Yes, mean is just a part of how I roll."
I now understand why my grandma said, “They did it for meanness.”
You just described my former partner of 9 years who is still stalking me. I've had to change my entire life and now have to move to a different city. Do they ever leave you alone? I want my life back.
Thank-you for the work you're doing.
I was once involved with a man who fits this description. I got away. I’m at peace and grounded in life.
He’s still the same some 30 years later.
There’s no magical ending where the monster turns into a prince with these types.
Leave them now!
You want a prince? 😂
Ive wondered many times if my narc is also a psychopath, after hearing this video I’m sure of it. Every point you made described him to a tee.. I left him 9 months ago and I’m still trying to get myself back. He almost succeeded in destroying me. But I fled from my home and haven’t looked back except that I’ve been plagued with nightmares and ptsd. 12 years of abuse by a psychopath is a lot of abuse. I’m so thankful for your videos because they helped me to know what I was up against and how to handle it. You don’t like to deal with psychopaths and you don’t make very many videos about them, but by doing that you may have saved someone’s life. I appreciate you.. thank you so much for what you do.
This man is like the uncle everyone should have :)
Try 33 yrs - starting covert. Last several years pure Psychopath. Heading to court for Restraining Order & Divorce. Freedom on the horizon. Almost destroyed me too - ALMOST. Full on Warrior mode whenever I am outside. Apartment has weapons everywhere.
Hi Debra, that's a great question that many people wouldn't know. All Psychopaths are Narcissist, but, Narcissists can't be Psychopaths. The closest Narcissist to a Psychopath along the spectrum is the Malignant Sociopathic Narcissist. They also carry The Dark Triad trait. However, what separates a Psychopath from a Sociopathic Narcissist is how they operate. The Sociopathic Narcissist MUST have a source of supply for survival to feed their fragile self-esteem & ego in order to pump them up & create their false self. They're angry 24/7. They possess self empathy, but, none for others. They rage due to narcissistic injury & are full of revenge & vengeance. The Psychopath doesn't require narcissistic supply, they have zero empathy & no narcissistic injuries. They already know they're badasses. They both are capable of killing, however, the Sociopathic Malignant typically leading up to a Narcissistic Rage...The Psychopath kills for the thrill or high it gives them. These are the type when they're young, kill harmless animals & laugh as they describe what they did & later graduate into serial killers. They are true predators.
@@t.l.7733 Then my 71 yr old is both. Desperately needs supply - afraid to be alone.
As a child tortured & kill small animals. Broke my 5 mo old puppy by kicking it because is just started crying
Tried to have sex with her first - I found out in a drunken rant. Took our full grown Wold Hybrid given to us & abandoned him 50 miles away. Years later never left my puppy alone with him. At 6 mos old my Father died. Took te train to my Mother. Mistake. A few days later he arrived says the puppy is gone.
Watches serial rapist killers for hours twice a day & says he's studying. Fits both of your explainations.
Psychopaths rarely receive a diagnosis
I survived 3 years with a charming, intelligent psychopath
The woman I was with thought all men SHOULD be 'dark triads' and was determined to show how she 'outclassed' men.
You are describing my husband. He is a sadistic evil monster akin to satan and I can’t get free from him.
Thank you for being a voice. I have gained so much wisdom and this has validated everything I already knew. My dad has been an extreme emotionally & verbally abusive narcissist my whole life. He robbed me of my self confidence, trust, and vulnerability as a child. I’m an extreme empath and he used his health issues and financial situations as a weapon to shame me and my brother. The worst part is he is a crazy judgmental radical “Christian” and uses it as a mask. The police have been to my house more times than I can’t count on my hands and I barely remember any of my childhood. The crazy part is from the outside looking in no one would ever assume anything is wrong . I became addicted to the gym that was a coping mechanism (2+ hours a day, 6-7 times a week for 6 years, the longest break I took off was 4 days, went to the gym with every illness you can imagine, I went 30+ days without a day off which I know is terrible for you. My point is that I was that extreme.) I’ve been addicting to alcohol, pills, nicotine, weed, caffeine, and sugar. All on and off throughout different time periods of my life. I was taking multiple Percocets while binge drinking at 15. I had the best physique in my hs, could of had any girl I want, and I was highly respected by my peers. But at the end of the day, it all meant nothing to me bc I felt so alone. I never felt safe and I never felt unconditional love in my own home. Everyday I was ready for the conflict. With that being said, I’ve been researching heavily
the past couple years, while taking the blame off my self, and realizing I was a product of my environment. I’ve finally come to terms that for my peace I’m best off cutting all ties with my father for the rest of my life. Furthermore, I found out years ago my passion is creating music and expressing myself. It’s my outlet and It makes me feel so free. I want to inspire everyone suffering in the world to have a voice. To any survivors or anyone struggling, keep pushing and striving to love yourself and accept that you’re only the victim! Stay Blessed . -MAKEAWAY
What an incredible story. When you get derailed by addictions it indicates that your interior is empty. But once you learn to build yourself from the inside out, the addictive lures are no longer as attractive. I hope your story provides an inspiration to many. Best wishes to you! Dr. C
"A troubled soul"? Me thinks that description is entirely too generous. Ah, but you cleared it up towards the end "Broken soul". I wonder how many truly understand what a "broken soul" is. How deep of a statement that is; blasphemy of the spirit, immoral core and they will never likely change for facing that demon is pretty much a suicide mission.
No matter how they slice it, they are the epitome of cowardice on every level and degree. Can't face what they are and do, can't face another like themselves, surely not a strong willed, moral person and they can't muster any change for the good. What they perceive as strength and power we see as an old, weak lion attempting to hunt the weakest old water buffalo from out of the herd, not realizing that old buffalo could at any time turn and gore the lion to a quick death.
Don't know how you do it Doc, study these people. In this mind it's akin to a huge ball of grossly entangled Christmas lights, no way to untangle, all one can do is toss it in the trash bin and get new lights.
I am currently dealing with a "dark triad" psychopath stalker; my own cousin, who has a very strange and sickening obsession with me. She cannot help herself to track whatever it is I am doing online. All the while, her narcissitic straights stem from the face she is doing online and believe she won't get caught. I believe these demons eventually get caught up in their own ways and the truth shall come to light.
It’s so scary ...trying to differentiate between narcissistic vs sociopath...vs psychopath...to not read too much or not enough! ... when you recognize the brokenness ... it’s almost too late. Your paralyzed. ...and afraid. When they can’t suppress the true traits of what makes them...who they really are.
Praying for the peace and clarity of Christ, for all. Both those dealing with, and those who are described in this video. With some people, the only way you can help is through prayer. It's up to them, eventually. Merry Christmas!
@Angela Nicoletti Amen!
🙏
Praying doesn't help one bit to the damage one of theses Witches done to me
What really gets to me is that Judges do not see through the lies & pure evil intent ! 😢
Good Morning. Thank you Dr Carter. You gave me strength to leave a very dangerous relationship. I had to protect my kids and try to protect my finances (no luck) However, he used sympathy and threatening suicide at one point. I had to turn off al sympathy towards him. He left scorched earth and devastated us. We survived and are stronger now. So hard but worth every obstacle...
Thanks for your post. Going through separation now. The more I try to work with my narc, the more he demands. He has attacked my parenting, character, and faith. It’s maddening, but I’m holding on to God and His Word, trying to make a better life for my kids and me.
Glad to hear it.
@@WizardofGOP Children should never be required to spend time with a Cluster B parent. Never.
Congratulations for getting away. My daughter is still terribly frightened about the next 11 years until her daughter is 18.
How do you handle his visits with the kids?
Carol....I totally understand your way of thinking to try and protect your children from narcissistic behavior. I had done and felt the same
........beware though..the narcissist only wants the win and unless they have totally moved on to NEW supply....they will still try and win and be after the children. May God protect you and your children💜
You have to hold on to your moralistic beliefs at all times.
If you show any kind of weakness... They'll eat you alive.
Very true.
@@WizardofGOP My ex had two mastiffs, if you know that breed. Loyal protectors of the weak. They both physically protected me from my ex, who was their owner and god. They had the empathy, intelligence and decision making processes ingrained in their hearts and minds to protect me and attack him, the very times he got violent. Loved them. They passed unfortunately, and then I escaped.
@@orchidsrising7910 You were blessed to have those dogs.
@@WizardofGOP That was beautiful. And you’re totally right. Dogs are healers, in a way. Even my cat is a healer. Her non-judgmental awareness and love for me, our physical bonding and mental connection, my getting to nurture her and in exchange she’s also a Zen master, so we chill a lot and meditate, enjoying music and laugh and run and play. There’s no toxicity, and that in itself is healing 🥳 I like people, too, but listen to my body and intuitions, now
All of our lives (globally) are being controlled by the most evil psychopaths and 95% of the population has no clue about it.😞 Please read my "About" info and pc users also watch the short video to find out more. We need to stop these evil creeps destroying us! Stay aware and alert! 💖