@@silvermica Well that’s good, you do have a lot of opportunities around you. Being a musician sounds really cool. I’m sure you will find connections sooner rather than later, don’t be afraid of rejection and keep going (same for me by the way and I’m just a boring central government employee lol) 😊🐰
We are forced to spend the vast majority of our days working to support ourselves. How on earth do we have time or ENERGY to have social relationships?!
A lot of cities being non-walkable is a contributor to increased loneliness, since distance and lack of social spaces makes it harder for people to socialize and gather.
It's tough to walk long distance when everyone owns aggressive trained dogs that will to attack others... so people stay home, forget walking far far away from home.
Be careful not to generalize your own experience. Solitude and loneliness are not the same thing. I shared a childhood home with eight siblings. For me, living alone as an adult is pure bliss.
@@valle_4ustral I have a few friends, some nieces and nephews, work colleagues, etc. But since I don't live with them, I have the luxury of being able to get away from them when I want--I can spend as much or as little time with them as is good for me. We're not trapped under the same roof forever. It's great. And statistics confirm that this particular life choice is becoming increasingly popular.
Who are you even talking to Lars Thorwald? This was an expert speaking about the findings of 30 years of reassearch. It had nothing to do with her personal experience. No wonder she repeated her credentials so many times. And house still comment like this?
I'm working at a University in a very informal, very casual work environment. We do a lot of stuff together, outside working hours... And yet, I still find it hard to make friends. I have NO IDEA how adults are supposed to make friends in every day life, if they have a more formal, less friendly work environment! Because outside the work environment... how are you supposed to meet people?
Start to talking with our neighbors, saying nice things to people that work at stores that we see often, try to make a little conversation with your delivery guy, ask how is their day going, etc… if one of that people you know is sick, offer yourself to buy or make some soup for them.
Our society is about helping yourself, you only have yourself, you have to do it yourself..what happened to people joining together and helping each other?
One reason for loneliness is that we work too much. 5 days of work and 2 days of rest? How are we supposed to have any time left for socializing? On top of that we have built cities that are all centered around work: all that exists are apartments and work places, and then the roads that connect the two. There arent enough places in our cities where we can actually meet people and do things together.
@@balsarmyOnly if you enjoy it and have sources for your other mental needs. Almost no one actually enjoys work and we arent even supposed to work like this. We arent built it for biologically. Its important for us to work because it does fill a specific mental need of feeling like we are contributing and helping our species but we shouldnt live to work, we should work to live.
You can’t effectively capitalize connection. Social media tries, but it offers a hollowed out version of human connection that only mimics the real thing
I can’t believe this. “Are you anti-social” Someone with antisocial personality disorder or traits will typically be manipulative, deceitful and reckless, and will not care for other people's feelings. Being is more in line with introversion. Asking someone if they’re antisocial is completely different from asking them if they’re asocial.
I'm late to reply here, but I'm quite glad to finally see someone else who recognizes the difference between the words "asocial" and "antisocial." From my experience, many people tend to use the word "antisocial" without conducting simple research as to the word's definition. This also leads me to be concerned with the possibility that if one were to tell a person who calls it "antisocial" that the correct term is actually "asocial," then they may become confused and immediately dismiss this correction.
This is a very common mistake. People often use the term "anti-social" when they really mean asocial or avoidant. Anti-social in its proper usage describes the traits associated with psychopathy.
Online dating has proved to me that there are 2 types of humans: Self-Aware humans. And clueless ones. We really should have our own close-knit communities. Instead of having to guess who is legit, and who isn't. It just bums me out that it's a lot easier to get hate in this society. Than it is to get a hug. Or someone telling you, "Your life matters."
We need to also consider, especially, in the United States that the rise of suburbia contributed to the sense of loneliness and isolation. I do realize the interview could not possibly cover every aspect of it but it's worth a mention.
Rise? The rise happened in the 80s .... but she believes something more important happened in the 80s - I agree with you and question every theory she treats as fact.
@@CHMichael It's astonishing how psychologists always talk like every opinion of theirs is a scientific fact, even though though the consensus within the field is that its not actually empiric science.
@@andraspeter1114 They don't. You're making hasty generalization about a profession. The phenomenon of alienation in modern society is thoroughly studied and well observed. It's not debatable. The only issue is: 1) detect its nuances 2) find solutions. Social sciences study trends so it's impossible not to make some form of generalization since we're not talking about case by case basis. The role of studying clinical cases of people affected by this is left to therapists and psychiatrists whom also agree with social scientists on this issue.
I think pride is the issue. People don't want to engage. Anytime I go out I connect with people and make friends. However, I get mentally exhausted afterward and I just want to be alone and recharge.
I've been living alone for almost twenty years, and I'm accustomed to it. I love my peace & quiet, and I love my hobbies. You can be alone, but not lonely.
@@FocusandPositivity I'm an artist, and I writer. I draw and paint, and I've written several books that I'm trying to get published. I just love being creative. For exercise, I go hiking and climbing. My advice would be to find a pastime you're passionate about, and then balance it with physical activity. That's important. When the body sits stagnant, so does the mind.
Good for you, I guess? Thats not whats being discussed here. They're talking about the epidemic of people reporting on feeling socially isolated and lacking personal relationships. You enjoying your solitude doesn't negate the millions of people that feel severe loneliness.
You can be alone, but not lonely. I think we need to distinguish those two. I've never been that social and I do enjoy time alone and don't feel depressed when I am alone. On the other hand, if you suffer from being alone, that probably is harmful to you.
I am 100% with you on this. I love my imagination, gardening, taking the dog out for a run, all alone, I find it more stressful when I must go to an event and meet with people. I once met another guy at one of these events who was living the same life I was living. my partner on the other hand, well, she is the complete opposite in every way and sometimes it's annoying.
I’m on the spectrum. I need me-time to breathe and recharge. Also loneliness (vs being alone as you note) may have negative effects in the long term but I certainly think toxic relationships-be they romantic, familial, or a “friendship” are more harmful.
I am suspicious of this sudden discovery of loneliness. As a former therapist, I spent a long time talking to people who would have been immeasurably helped cutting toxic people out of their lives. Many eventually did. Many many times that meant women left men, but not always. It is probably the case that more people could have more satisfying relationships than they do have, but that would require massive changes in work, gender, and other cultural norms, changes in the distribution of wealth, health, and leisure, changes in basic human safety and autonomy. Until then, it might just be that some people are better off maintaining their boundaries and if that means governments start freaking out about babies, consumption, and social cohesion, too bad.
While I think there are many factors contributing to increased isolation and loneliness, one thing I have consistently seen is that the men I know often have few friends to turn to, while the women in my life all have at least a few intimate friendships. I have no data to ascertain if this is a recent societal development, but my girlfriend's and I often talk about how we worry about our husbands and boyfriends in this respect. They are all intelligent, wonderful, and seemingly confident men, who are happy to accompany us to parties or other gatherings, but they very, very rarely initiate something themselves.
I have male and female friends. And from my view women have far more social contacts. When i see them getting over 20 whatsapp messages in one evening and i usually get maybe one.
And then after a looong time alone you really feel lonely and Start crying, I've seen people in that state, having people around is a good thing if you can, loneliness could drive someone mad.
I am the same as it's easier to be myself but every now and then, I just want someone else around, even just a pet, just another living being. Actually makes my day when I overhear a stranger say something random that makes me laugh.
I live alone, single for many years, have home office, I'm an expat and socialize only with coworkers from time to time. Try to stay sane in such circumstances!
I'm lonely all the time. Extremely difficult to find a girl in America. If I was in China, I wouldn't have any problem. They are much more inclined to find companions overseas. It's definitely a health risk, I would be stronger and healthier if I had a companion. Maybe our society values money over all else, I don't know. Even making a basic conversation with a girl at dating age is nearly impossible. If there is a nice girl who is datable, she's been snatched up a long time ago. I'm not an alpha male, just the opposite. Maybe that's it, I don't know. I'm the kind of person that thinks of others, not myself.
@Mahadragon Sorry to hear that but have you tried hobbies and meeting women as friends first? From that love can grow … never give up hope! I am rooting for you ❤
Are you serious? China values money even more than USA. If you think you are lonely in the US because of money, in China you might as well be living in an isolation chamber. You have to be able to afford a house before anybody will even look at you. 🤣
It's nice how some restaurants in Europe try to fit you in with other diners.. and some even have bench seats, which is nice for those who travel alone to have a bit of companionship. In a way, it is unfortunate that the media centers on people with criminal intent. Sometimes you can make someone's day better with just a few friendly words.. and make the world a better place.. just a little bit.
@@tayler2396 Yes.. sometimes.. but I shared some nice meals with local people when I visited in 2003. One can't expect everybody to like oneself.. naturally.
I live in a country with the worst customer service in Europe and I'm single. Whenever I go to the empty restaurant they force me to sit at the worst possible table, the smallest, no comfortable couch for me ever 😢 shame on you Bulgaria
Sure a kind word a smile a little attention, having your existence noticed, appreciated, that goes a long way. However you do not call one of these shallow contacts (if you even feel like exchanging phone numbers, there are quite unpleasant people about, masking it well, that you need to keep at a safe distance from your personal life) when you need someone to accompany you to a hospital appointment where they require you to have an assisted ride home, call for celebrating your birthday, go on holiday with, go see a movie with, the list goes on. There is a sense of loneliness in exactly that, having the small talk here and there whenever you head out, walking your dog, get your groceries at that local corner shop, but it not fullfilling the need for a more intimate connection, like truly knowing someone, and have them truly know you, and the peaceful trusting feeling of proper friendship. ✌️
Maybe looks strong? I don't think they're strong, they have more of a problem with fear, and that's why they go into avoidance. In the retreat, the fear is calmed, and that is reinterpreted as "strong."
@@adamantium4797 Sometimes it triggers me when people want to be alone so much these days because I don't like being alone all the time. But I feel your comment. It sounds like a paradox, but I often feel the same way.
@dreas9236 I lived with some women for some years I had some more action and fun. Then everything changed after covid, ppl wanting to be alone triggers you, but for me what triggers me is the greedy materialistic world we are in. my depression triggers me, the only way I get anything I want out of this life is by pushing towards it or manipulating my way to it
@@adamantium4797 Yeah, absolutely. You've hit on a real point there. The materialism and the expectations of people to be like that has involuntarily pulled me back from the world. The greedy materialistic world make me tired.
I prefer being alone, probably due to technology and the internet. But having social skills isn’t like riding a bike, if you don’t do it for a long time you will forget how to. This is how it is for most people, and when you forget, socializing becomes harder and then being alone feels less like a choice. That’s where the loneliness comes from.
Like you said, the internet has made it more acceptable (not easier) to be alone. But that ain't good. And like you said, the deeper you get, the deeper you get. If anyone has invited you to a church home, please consider going.
I rather have poor social skill than seeing ppl treating me like a fool for my height or my honesty. I'm 33 and I'm so glad I'm alone. I'm definitely not happy, but humans suck nowadays. A LOT
Maya Angelou gave an interview around 20 years ago where she said that we had done a great disservice to the young people by not letting them be alone, that they were pushed to be sociable. So that was a source of things like youth gangs because they learned that they needed to have the sense of belonging. She described the joy of being alone.
People are so different. For me, I prefer to be around others with infrequent periods alone (this helps me feel like I’m having solitude rather than loneliness).. Because of past hurt with the people I loved so much, I formed deeper connections, I keep my relationships pretty shallow, but I’m a powerful mimic of closeness. It’s the way I can function in the world until I finish downsizing so I can take myself out.
It is more of an economic situation. You rarely meet a lonely rich person. Our economic policies are hollowing out traditional middle class and people are working hard to make ends meet. There is no luxury for long term meaningful relationships.
I’m an early medievalist scholar, and I want to tell you that the most dreaded punishment in early medieval times was not the most torturous executions. No. It was exile. People would rather die fighting in the company of their kins or comrades, than be exiled alone into the unknown.
@@GhostSamaritan There are plenty of noisy, crowded and overstimulating places for you to choose from then! It's the ones who need peace and quiet that have trouble finding it these days.
_In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you._ ―Gautama Buddha *_1_* There is a big difference between _loneliness_ and _aloneness._ The self moves in loneliness; love moves in aloneness; when love is, the self is not. *_2 Without love and sense of humor there is unhappiness and life is meaningless._* 💕☮🌎🌌
I noticed this being a problem is more prosperous advanced nations. In smaller more traditional countries it's not as big of a problem. I see this a lot here in America where I live. Lots of depression anxiety loneliness drug addiction and self harm. Its sad. But it's the reality of American life. I blame social media and lack of real connection.
It happens in poor countries too. My grandpa and his siblings left East Africa to move all over the world (for economic reasons), which split up his family.
9 years ago in college I valued my education more than people. I was more in love with education and learning and burying myself into my books gave relief but I lost friends I made because I wasn't there for there since I already been through abuse prior to college and school made me feel love again. My ex boyfriend would stare at me to catch my attention but I never paid any kind although I loved him deep in my heart. He has been gone for years and finally came and I wish I would've gave him a chance. Now I am suicidal and having a miserable night. I honestly don't want to be here. Years into my freshman life, I met a doctor who prescribed me Benzos and it made things worse. I spiraled out of control and onto opioids. Now I'm alone and fighting. Struggling to get back up and going.
This is very concerning especially for our Young people Especially when life changing situations such as leaving school beginning a new job etc… We need to have a strong supporting mixed age group communities to helpful listeners and supporters for our next generation ❤️
Until a lot of women suffer due to loneliness, nobody is going to do anything about loneliness since nobody cares about men's loneliness. In fact, many make fun of it.
I try socialize with people who I think can help but those people are not accepting to socialize with me because they think I'm looking for personal interest, mainly because communication with strangers randomly is not the norm these days. That's the problem; people nowadays are too afraid to socialize and talk and be intimate. I'm mainly lonely because I get turned away by members of my society.
19. I’ve burned a lot of bridges, some of them rightfully so, some of them not so much. Even when hanging with a handful of my real friends I still feel sad and lonely. I once had a girl that I loved so dearly, but I threw it away because I was too blind by what I had, rather than what I should’ve held onto. Now I live a basic life. I work 3 days, off 4. Go in at 4 am, get off at 4:30 pm. Weekends are spent at home except maybe one of those days, if I’m invited out, that is. Im not an incel, I’ve had many relationships, enough sex and affairs. But I’ve lost my mojo. Events have made me socially awkward, which is strange considering I was once really good with words and game, whether with friends or love interest. I could talk a man out of worthless thoughts or the lack of caring to no longer be here. I am now that man. Shallow, hollow, cold, all because of my own actions, which stemmed from those actions of others from my very beginning in highschool. I’m a decent looking guy but can’t “Woo” anyone now. I’ve got a good sense of humor but it’s not enough to make others laugh anymore. I’ve always been a good kind of goofy but now it’s just considered immature. I’ve always helped others out of kindness but it’s seen as weakness instead. I feel like giving up.
Though I'm introverted, i definitely need companionship, just someone to talk to about everything. Its really exhausting a times. I agree with this documentary. AI seems like a joy for people like me. This might not be it for all introverts.
Work demands too much, I work 8-5, and house prices are too expensive that we're all forced to live further away, isolated from eachother. Its horrible. We should be working 10 to 4 to account for the distance that we need to travel for our commute, or better yet, be able to live near the places we work and socialise
I guess the main cause is mass media, TV and internet and so on. It simulates social interaction where it's not there in reality in real life. It makes people think they are not lonely but in fact they are all sitting at home staring at screens... Cause it feels "safer". Which is the case with me
as someone who's beeon on social media since 2008, i think its done far more damage then good- look at a timeline of what has gone on- people started doing online dating in the mid to late 2000's, mainly around 2008-2012, im not sure how the stats stack up today in 2024, but im sure that didn't help, im sure video gaming online did some damage too, i think its a combo of many things all digital or tech. driven that caused alot of these issues to grow- im sure consumerism has driven it too , etc. etc. anything that can drive people into isolation or distrusting people is just going to jack it up more, it causes alot of mental health issues-
Or maybe it’s because men are not socialised to utilise and expand their soft skills aka emotional and social skills. And hence they fail to make friendships and communities. It’s research. The male loneliness epidemic doesn’t exist because women get more attention but because men are stuck in the rut that they created on their own.
Im a part loner and part social but lately I find being alone really really sucks, I dont enjoy much playing solo video games anymore , I dont enjoy driving alone when on vacation anymore and I have been traumatized living with someone twice, Im like stuck in the middle afraid being alone and afraid to be with someone who might just be the same as before. and making friends after college is pretty much impossible people are busy living their lives and when become an adult we just became partly cynical.
This is social anxiety. Which has been preventing me from establishing love relationships. I agree, I feel myself torn, struggling with my fears of rejection, plus I'm 41 without ever having had a girlfriend, stuck forever in a pattern in which I'm attracted to women I eventually find out to already have a boyfriend. That feels oppressing, suffocating, every time it happens I feel my strength and my hope fading away.
the bond between humans has always been the strength of humanity - and BigTech has been doing mischievous things to make that bond weaker, and make it so that it doesn't become a threat to them.
@@ljubenjonceski3066 Are you on Facebook or have email? I know how you feel.. it’s like a curse sometimes. One can be so isolated and ostracized . But your close ones😇 up there 🌤️ and I KNOW the strong survivor you are, trust me👌 . Taking it one day at a time:e, and I’d say one minute sometimes is the endeavor!
@@musicandpoetry_8 It’s called depression. One of the ..most inner suffering.. there is. I know how you feel. Someone who has not been through that doesn’t know. I know..
I've never been lonely a day in my life. And I've traveled the world for 10 years - most of it solo. I truly don't understand this sensation. I love being alone.
If we have 8 Billion people in the world and need ai to cure our loneliness, then there is something MONUMENTALLY WRONG with our society. We are FAILED society.
When a kid has an argument with dad, they are told to go to their room. Solitude is when we do this to ourselves i.e it is self punishment driven by guilt and shame?
Given this world its complicated ... Age .. money.... Sex.... Job.... food...😢 we fight for everything😢 we have no solution 😢. People don't talk they remain silent😊 finding your companion is one in a million😊😊 find that person and u won't be Lonley atleast for a While😢 cheers 🥃
Introverts love Solitude, peace and calmness very much. Socializing can be very irritating for them. Since society has both Introverts and extroverts, loneliness cant be generalized as a threat to mental and physical health for everyone.
You're generalising too. I'm introverted and of course love solitude and peace, but I also need social connections, as we all do. Socialising is not a problem and is enjoyable in fact, so long as it's on my terms and am not forced to do so. There is a big difference between choosing to be alone and being lonely. Being lonely when you want company is of course bad for our mental and physical health too.
There's a difference between being alone and being lonely. One can be alone but not lonely and alternatively one can be in a crowd of people and be lonely. The root of it is parents failed to raise their kids with emotional skills like empathy, curiosity, active listening, and vulnerability and instead focused more on developing skills in math, writing, science. I was homeschooled and I've had to spend years in therapy to develop these skills that I should have developed alongside my peers. Sure I'm a grad student in astrophysics, but that doesn't mean anything if I can't have intimate friendships or trusting romantic relationships. Thankfully I have been able to develop them with lots of work and practice.
Except socialization is important for us too. Just as important actually. We have different psychological needs and communicate differently but we can still very easily got lonely from too much solitude and lack of real or deep connection. Youre making a generalization yourself and implying that introverts are less human. We are the most social species in earths history and what neurotransmitter our brain prefers to use isnt gonna change that
That's a very narrow way to look at it. Introverts need social connections too, we're not perfectly fine having absolutely none. You can enjoy your own company while also suffering from loneliness, the two aren't mutually exclusive.
Globalization has greatly contributed to loneliness. People move away from the communities that they grew up in for work and study. Even though one has a spouse they need intimate relationships with friends and family. Sadly these days humans live far away from alot of the people that they once had intimate relationships with.
I'm in an abusive relationship with Google Assistant. She doesn't understand me and keeps asking me to verify my voice. DAMNIT, YOU'VE KNOWN ME FOR YEARS, DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
Most people don't put effort into maintaining friendships. This includes platonic friends, couples and families. How many people used to be your friend, but then they moved far away and abandoned you? Married people with kids abandon their old friends. People who move to another state because of a new job abandon their old friends. People say, "I promise," but it doesn't mean anything. I'm not suggesting that anybody has an obligation to become friends with a person or be on a relationship with them. I just don't get why they make promises in the first place.
Small and bigger cities need more noncommercial possibilities to meet. I grew up in several bigger cities in Germany in the late 80s / 90s, back then there were still low rents and therefore some alternative, uncommercial possibilities to meet, like squatted houses or autonomous youth centres. Since housing and everything else has become so expensive in the cities, these meeting places have been cleared by the police, because suddenly a lot of money could be made with these places or spaces. This is just one example of why everything is getting worse.
Imagine being lonely and living in a toxic family and the one person who loved u for 7 years was forced to leave u because of your mom and u cant even say anything to her because nothing u say matters.
After working in customer service and endured the unrealistic expectations of some customers, I am soooooo glad to be by myself 😑 I need a break from human beings! 😁
Canines make the best companions. It’s like a cruel joke that they live such shorter lives than us. They will be the best friend you have ever had for 10 years, then leave you heartbroken when they die. 💔
Why does everyone keep referring to masculinity as a negative thing. I'm happy to be a male and be both "masculine" and "feminine", as a human I'm whole.
"Solitude is my life. Society benefits me little." It is a common cliche to overstate the relationship between "loneliness" and depression but overstate the significance of social life. The QUALITY of others' company is often ignored either. Fostering one's self-reliance and self-awareness is the proper way to counterbalance the inherent human feeling of loneliness.
Solitude and lonliness are not the same, lonliness is when you allow your happiness and well being to depend on the presence and validation of other people.
This has nothing to do with economics, and everything to do with the introduction of computers and time consuming electronics. Computers were introduced to reduce the repetitive workload on humans supposedly so that humans would have more time to spend with friends and family. This never became the reality, as mankind just expected more work to be accomplished in the same amount of time as before. Now with video games, smartphones, and working from home, there are fewer reasons for humans to interact within physical proximity of one another. Even if you text, talk, or video chat with a other person, our body is not going to process this the same as a regular in person human interaction or conversation. We all need to unplug ourselves from this electronic world, and speak to one another in person. Find enjoyment in the most basic, yet extremely beneficial human interactions.
@@carlosrex488 Not as much as you think. Actually in this case they wont help at all. The social media thing would likely have an impact if they dont have any friends there and for comparing themselves but a trade isnt gonna have any sort of impact on their mental health and going to the gym isnt gonna fill their social needs. These things are literally different parts of your brain
La soledad aceptada, tambien tiene un peligro: encerrarse completamente en su propio espacio, fisico, mental, emocional y tornarse en alguien que no tolera la minima interaccion en su espacio en general, no tolera otras presencias, otras opiniones, otros comportamientos, etc, etc
My chronic depression was relieved when i learned not to depend on relationships for fulfillment in life. One should learn to live with oneself and like it.
I am lonely at 33. Still living with parents which I don't particularly like but they still give that feeling of "home". When I'll go living on my own I won't go past my 50's and maybe that will be liberating...
Make loneliness/isolation/tranquility/serenity… as your friends. And, you’re no longer lonely! Then, you have time for reading, learning, improving, drawing, walking or anything you like… turn the “crises” into “opportunities” 😅
I’m in my 50s. I have no family, no close friends, no kids, and no love. If I were to disappear tomorrow only the bill collectors would notice.
Chin up. if you die alone, someone will eventually notice!
Sad but true 😅
It just means another human being will be born and replace you. That's it.
@silvermica Have you tried developing friends through hobbies? Please try and do something ❤
@@bengalibunny9531 I'm a musician. I just came back from gig today.
@@silvermica Well that’s good, you do have a lot of opportunities around you. Being a musician sounds really cool. I’m sure you will find connections sooner rather than later, don’t be afraid of rejection and keep going (same for me by the way and I’m just a boring central government employee lol) 😊🐰
We are forced to spend the vast majority of our days working to support ourselves. How on earth do we have time or ENERGY to have social relationships?!
Exactly!!!
Yeah, I guess that we can at work.
That's what shes saying, that the welath gaps and late stage capitalism are what made this disconnect in the first place.
@@cgygflkj Are you happy in Cuba or North Korea? LOL
People used to work longer hours in the 1800s and early 1900s, yet this loneliness issue came about more recently.
This is literally my whole problem with life, I don't have the energy to socialize and I feel so done.
Socializing shouldn’t feel draining with the right people. They should see you for who you are, not for who you pretend to be.
@@justynamaria0333 good luck finding genuine ppl in the social media era
me too
It's not even worth it. I tried to stop caring. Most people are just unfriendly and will turn on you in one way or another
Meanwhile the rich have too much time
On there hands.
A lot of cities being non-walkable is a contributor to increased loneliness, since distance and lack of social spaces makes it harder for people to socialize and gather.
It's tough to walk long distance when everyone owns aggressive trained dogs that will to attack others... so people stay home, forget walking far far away from home.
depression is way harmful than smoking , not saying snoking isnt bad but a happy smoker is healthier than a depressed non smoker in long term
@Andi A thank you - that comparison made me question everything else she came up.
She's all over the place.
@@feleciawallace8420 dont forget the guns 😆
I live in a medium-sized city in EU, where I can go anywhere by foot or bike, yet I haven't felt so lonely as these times in my life
Be careful not to generalize your own experience. Solitude and loneliness are not the same thing. I shared a childhood home with eight siblings. For me, living alone as an adult is pure bliss.
I live alone for first time in life, it is pure bliss :)
Overgeneralizing
My question is: How do you do that? do you really don't have any friends/ anyone to talk to and live happy?
@@valle_4ustral I have a few friends, some nieces and nephews, work colleagues, etc. But since I don't live with them, I have the luxury of being able to get away from them when I want--I can spend as much or as little time with them as is good for me. We're not trapped under the same roof forever. It's great. And statistics confirm that this particular life choice is becoming increasingly popular.
Who are you even talking to Lars Thorwald? This was an expert speaking about the findings of 30 years of reassearch. It had nothing to do with her personal experience. No wonder she repeated her credentials so many times. And house still comment like this?
Staying with toxic violent family is more dangerous than being lonely
Thank u I needed to read that
Forgive toxic people and move forward
Well.. shockingly enough those two situations aren't that different from each other
I agree
Imagine being in both.
I swear i won’t be surprised if i die from loneliness
Are you ok? I’m sorry you’re suffering. I am too
If loneliness is the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day, I won't live to 30
I know right? Every day I wake up more and more depressed, looking forward to the afterlife
fr. i just need to wrap this up already.@@musicandpoetry_8
How are you now?
I'm working at a University in a very informal, very casual work environment. We do a lot of stuff together, outside working hours...
And yet, I still find it hard to make friends.
I have NO IDEA how adults are supposed to make friends in every day life, if they have a more formal, less friendly work environment! Because outside the work environment... how are you supposed to meet people?
Joining clubs,talking to people around us and keeping an open mind
Before we can find other people we must first find ourselves.
Start to talking with our neighbors, saying nice things to people that work at stores that we see often, try to make a little conversation with your delivery guy, ask how is their day going, etc… if one of that people you know is sick, offer yourself to buy or make some soup for them.
Our society is too "ruggedly individualistic". We need more fellowship and communitarianism.
Exactly
Our society is about helping yourself, you only have yourself, you have to do it yourself..what happened to people joining together and helping each other?
One reason for loneliness is that we work too much. 5 days of work and 2 days of rest? How are we supposed to have any time left for socializing?
On top of that we have built cities that are all centered around work: all that exists are apartments and work places, and then the roads that connect the two. There arent enough places in our cities where we can actually meet people and do things together.
I disagree. If you are depressed, work helps to maintain life. I wasn't working for years and it was bad, I didn't make any progress
@@balsarmy Only if you enjoy your work. Work you don't like or don't have control over can be very depressing and alienating.
@ Joe Turner Agreed 100%
@@balsarmyOnly if you enjoy it and have sources for your other mental needs. Almost no one actually enjoys work and we arent even supposed to work like this. We arent built it for biologically. Its important for us to work because it does fill a specific mental need of feeling like we are contributing and helping our species but we shouldnt live to work, we should work to live.
I agree Joe.
You can’t effectively capitalize connection. Social media tries, but it offers a hollowed out version of human connection that only mimics the real thing
That's a neat observation. Why tho
I can’t believe this.
“Are you anti-social”
Someone with antisocial personality disorder or traits will typically be manipulative, deceitful and reckless, and will not care for other people's feelings.
Being is more in line with introversion.
Asking someone if they’re antisocial is completely different from asking them if they’re asocial.
I'm late to reply here, but I'm quite glad to finally see someone else who recognizes the difference between the words "asocial" and "antisocial."
From my experience, many people tend to use the word "antisocial" without conducting simple research as to the word's definition. This also leads me to be concerned with the possibility that if one were to tell a person who calls it "antisocial" that the correct term is actually "asocial," then they may become confused and immediately dismiss this correction.
This is a very common mistake. People often use the term "anti-social" when they really mean asocial or avoidant. Anti-social in its proper usage describes the traits associated with psychopathy.
True, but we get what people mean.
Online dating has proved to me that there are 2 types of humans:
Self-Aware humans. And clueless ones.
We really should have our own close-knit communities. Instead of having to guess who is legit, and who isn't.
It just bums me out that it's a lot easier to get hate in this society. Than it is to get a hug. Or someone telling you, "Your life matters."
nah, you're too sensitive, you'd think people hate you, but in reality they just don't give a f about you 🤪
Online dating is cancer
And what about third type of people, those that don't do online dating? 🤷
Online dating is crazy these days
@@onengkusumah2905 I'd argue apathy would hurt more than hatred in this sort of scenario.
We need to also consider, especially, in the United States that the rise of suburbia contributed to the sense of loneliness and isolation. I do realize the interview could not possibly cover every aspect of it but it's worth a mention.
Rise? The rise happened in the 80s .... but she believes something more important happened in the 80s
- I agree with you and question every theory she treats as fact.
Suburbia definitely played the part, I live in a city with half million population but feels like a ghost town
@@pranaym3859 so why do you live there? ( work being Super close is a good reason )
@@CHMichael It's astonishing how psychologists always talk like every opinion of theirs is a scientific fact, even though though the consensus within the field is that its not actually empiric science.
@@andraspeter1114 They don't. You're making hasty generalization about a profession. The phenomenon of alienation in modern society is thoroughly studied and well observed. It's not debatable. The only issue is: 1) detect its nuances 2) find solutions. Social sciences study trends so it's impossible not to make some form of generalization since we're not talking about case by case basis. The role of studying clinical cases of people affected by this is left to therapists and psychiatrists whom also agree with social scientists on this issue.
I think pride is the issue. People don't want to engage. Anytime I go out I connect with people and make friends.
However, I get mentally exhausted afterward and I just want to be alone and recharge.
Exactly so happens with me
No. Some people just don't fit in with the group and get excluded by the group. This is the main reason for Hikikomori.
Im just too weird for everyone. my hobbies are obscure and what I find important to talk about is unimportant or even objectionable to most people
3:56 3:57 4:59 5:00 4:30 4: 5:22 :04 :01 4:32 4:32
6: 6:44 7:58
I guess my loneliness will go well with my smoking and drinking
Ok
Very funny.
Ironically, in moderation, beer can actually help prevent heart disease. Sounds like what all the lonely people need! -sarcasm-
It is quite hard for some people like me to live in a city alone ,no one you to talk to ,no one to share your life with ,life becomes a burden
Konsi city me ho bhai
Living alone is a luxury. It depends on how you look at it. You can work on yourself when you are alone.
True.
Living alone is great, being alone 24/7 is a completely different thing.
This loneliness thing is literally killing me
Same here, and I don't have that many years remaining.
It’s pushing me to suicide
You're not the only one, I'm with you
Causes me some great heart pains
I've been living alone for almost twenty years, and I'm accustomed to it. I love my peace & quiet, and I love my hobbies. You can be alone, but not lonely.
Just curious, what are your hobbies? I’d like to take up something new.
@@FocusandPositivity I'm an artist, and I writer. I draw and paint, and I've written several books that I'm trying to get published. I just love being creative. For exercise, I go hiking and climbing. My advice would be to find a pastime you're passionate about, and then balance it with physical activity. That's important. When the body sits stagnant, so does the mind.
@@txlyons2937 Great advice! Thank you.
Good for you, I guess? Thats not whats being discussed here. They're talking about the epidemic of people reporting on feeling socially isolated and lacking personal relationships. You enjoying your solitude doesn't negate the millions of people that feel severe loneliness.
@@txlyons2937 Living alone for twenty years, that's a reeeeal long time. Don't you yearn to have a partner you can share things with?
I'm in my mid 30s, live alone for close to 15 years and don't really have an identity outside my bubble.
You can be alone, but not lonely. I think we need to distinguish those two. I've never been that social and I do enjoy time alone and don't feel depressed when I am alone. On the other hand, if you suffer from being alone, that probably is harmful to you.
agree. Being alone doesn't indicate loneliness. This AI thing is taking it too far
You just did distinguish the two. There is “alone” and there is “loneliness”
I am 100% with you on this. I love my imagination, gardening, taking the dog out for a run, all alone, I find it more stressful when I must go to an event and meet with people.
I once met another guy at one of these events who was living the same life I was living.
my partner on the other hand, well, she is the complete opposite in every way and sometimes it's annoying.
I’m on the spectrum. I need me-time to breathe and recharge. Also loneliness (vs being alone as you note) may have negative effects in the long term but I certainly think toxic relationships-be they romantic, familial, or a “friendship” are more harmful.
I am suspicious of this sudden discovery of loneliness. As a former therapist, I spent a long time talking to people who would have been immeasurably helped cutting toxic people out of their lives. Many eventually did. Many many times that meant women left men, but not always. It is probably the case that more people could have more satisfying relationships than they do have, but that would require massive changes in work, gender, and other cultural norms, changes in the distribution of wealth, health, and leisure, changes in basic human safety and autonomy. Until then, it might just be that some people are better off maintaining their boundaries and if that means governments start freaking out about babies, consumption, and social cohesion, too bad.
Real companionship and connection is what helps people who are isolated and lonely. We should not count on AI.
That's what will happen unfortunately. Blade Runner predicted this long time ago..
I don´t know what led me to loneliness. But here I am.
This is the result of encouraging individualism we are social creatures
While I think there are many factors contributing to increased isolation and loneliness, one thing I have consistently seen is that the men I know often have few friends to turn to, while the women in my life all have at least a few intimate friendships.
I have no data to ascertain if this is a recent societal development, but my girlfriend's and I often talk about how we worry about our husbands and boyfriends in this respect. They are all intelligent, wonderful, and seemingly confident men, who are happy to accompany us to parties or other gatherings, but they very, very rarely initiate something themselves.
I have male and female friends. And from my view women have far more social contacts. When i see them getting over 20 whatsapp messages in one evening and i usually get maybe one.
@@halleffect5439not always true
lonely people don't get that much, and that triggers depression.
great topic by the way. thanks, Dr!
You mean s e x ? 😅
Don’t get much what? Socialization? That’s the point.
@@allisond.46 don't get any "Faculty meetings"
As for me - I am happiest when no one is around.
might be, but even people like you need one connection at least once in a month with a person you actually like
And then after a looong time alone you really feel lonely and Start crying, I've seen people in that state, having people around is a good thing if you can, loneliness could drive someone mad.
I am the same as it's easier to be myself but every now and then, I just want someone else around, even just a pet, just another living being. Actually makes my day when I overhear a stranger say something random that makes me laugh.
I live alone, single for many years, have home office, I'm an expat and socialize only with coworkers from time to time. Try to stay sane in such circumstances!
Stop lieing. Sorry
I'm lonely all the time. Extremely difficult to find a girl in America. If I was in China, I wouldn't have any problem. They are much more inclined to find companions overseas. It's definitely a health risk, I would be stronger and healthier if I had a companion. Maybe our society values money over all else, I don't know. Even making a basic conversation with a girl at dating age is nearly impossible. If there is a nice girl who is datable, she's been snatched up a long time ago. I'm not an alpha male, just the opposite. Maybe that's it, I don't know. I'm the kind of person that thinks of others, not myself.
Contradiction there. If you was in China, why would they be interested in you if "They are much more inclined to find companions overseas" 😅😉
@Mahadragon Sorry to hear that but have you tried hobbies and meeting women as friends first? From that love can grow … never give up hope! I am rooting for you ❤
Are you serious? China values money even more than USA. If you think you are lonely in the US because of money, in China you might as well be living in an isolation chamber. You have to be able to afford a house before anybody will even look at you. 🤣
Cast a wide net and keep an open mind while looking
Stop looking for a mate and love yourself
I’m 28, and I am as lonely as you can get.
That's the thing. Elderly people complain about being lonely. But people of all ages are just as lonely.
It's nice how some restaurants in Europe try to fit you in with other diners.. and some even have bench seats, which is nice for those who travel alone to have a bit of companionship. In a way, it is unfortunate that the media centers on people with criminal intent. Sometimes you can make someone's day better with just a few friendly words.. and make the world a better place.. just a little bit.
@@tayler2396 Yes.. sometimes.. but I shared some nice meals with local people when I visited in 2003. One can't expect everybody to like oneself.. naturally.
I live in a country with the worst customer service in Europe and I'm single. Whenever I go to the empty restaurant they force me to sit at the worst possible table, the smallest, no comfortable couch for me ever 😢 shame on you Bulgaria
Sure a kind word a smile a little attention, having your existence noticed, appreciated, that goes a long way. However you do not call one of these shallow contacts (if you even feel like exchanging phone numbers, there are quite unpleasant people about, masking it well, that you need to keep at a safe distance from your personal life)
when you need someone to accompany you to a hospital appointment where they require you to have an assisted ride home, call for celebrating your birthday, go on holiday with, go see a movie with, the list goes on.
There is a sense of loneliness in exactly that, having the small talk here and there whenever you head out, walking your dog, get your groceries at that local corner shop, but it not fullfilling the need for a more intimate connection, like truly knowing someone, and have them truly know you, and the peaceful trusting feeling of proper friendship.
✌️
Media wants to make money so they make papers with what they perceive to be more interesting to society.
Living alone is bliss for enlightenment.
Persons who live alone are strong.
Meditation is their friend.
Maybe looks strong? I don't think they're strong, they have more of a problem with fear, and that's why they go into avoidance. In the retreat, the fear is calmed, and that is reinterpreted as "strong."
@@dreas9236 whatever works. In my case I don't want extra baggage
@@adamantium4797 Sometimes it triggers me when people want to be alone so much these days because I don't like being alone all the time. But I feel your comment. It sounds like a paradox, but I often feel the same way.
@dreas9236 I lived with some women for some years I had some more action and fun. Then everything changed after covid, ppl wanting to be alone triggers you, but for me what triggers me is the greedy materialistic world we are in. my depression triggers me, the only way I get anything I want out of this life is by pushing towards it or manipulating my way to it
@@adamantium4797 Yeah, absolutely. You've hit on a real point there. The materialism and the expectations of people to be like that has involuntarily pulled me back from the world. The greedy materialistic world make me tired.
I prefer being alone, probably due to technology and the internet. But having social skills isn’t like riding a bike, if you don’t do it for a long time you will forget how to. This is how it is for most people, and when you forget, socializing becomes harder and then being alone feels less like a choice. That’s where the loneliness comes from.
Like you said, the internet has made it more acceptable (not easier) to be alone. But that ain't good. And like you said, the deeper you get, the deeper you get. If anyone has invited you to a church home, please consider going.
Exactly. Being alone feels lonely when you feel you don’t have a choice.
I rather have poor social skill than seeing ppl treating me like a fool for my height or my honesty. I'm 33 and I'm so glad I'm alone. I'm definitely not happy, but humans suck nowadays. A LOT
@@lucadesanctis563there is truth in that
Maya Angelou gave an interview around 20 years ago where she said that we had done a great disservice to the young people by not letting them be alone, that they were pushed to be sociable. So that was a source of things like youth gangs because they learned that they needed to have the sense of belonging.
She described the joy of being alone.
People are so different. For me, I prefer to be around others with infrequent periods alone (this helps me feel like I’m having solitude rather than loneliness).. Because of past hurt with the people I loved so much, I formed deeper connections, I keep my relationships pretty shallow, but I’m a powerful mimic of closeness. It’s the way I can function in the world until I finish downsizing so I can take myself out.
I'm glad I come from a culture where family is everything. As they say, it takes a village to bring up a child...
It is more of an economic situation. You rarely meet a lonely rich person. Our economic policies are hollowing out traditional middle class and people are working hard to make ends meet. There is no luxury for long term meaningful relationships.
@ Snow White Exactly! It’s hard to form bonds and lasting relationships when you’re working all the time.
There definitely are lonely rich people.
If you were rich you might not know who your real friends are, because some might only hang around for what they can get out of you.
There's plenty of lonely rich person
Throughout history, until now, we have had a "third space" like a gathering place, like a bar but bigger and with different sections and people.
I’m an early medievalist scholar, and I want to tell you that the most dreaded punishment in early medieval times was not the most torturous executions. No. It was exile. People would rather die fighting in the company of their kins or comrades, than be exiled alone into the unknown.
Better be alone than in gay company
Very different times. These days you have information and population overload. Think about it. It's peace and quiet that we can't get 99% of the time.
@@trildiHuh? I get peace and quiet 99% of the time and it's just plain boring.
@@GhostSamaritan There are plenty of noisy, crowded and overstimulating places for you to choose from then! It's the ones who need peace and quiet that have trouble finding it these days.
_In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you._ ―Gautama Buddha
*_1_* There is a big difference between _loneliness_ and _aloneness._ The self moves in loneliness; love moves in aloneness; when love is, the self is not.
*_2 Without love and sense of humor there is unhappiness and life is meaningless._* 💕☮🌎🌌
I noticed this being a problem is more prosperous advanced nations. In smaller more traditional countries it's not as big of a problem. I see this a lot here in America where I live. Lots of depression anxiety loneliness drug addiction and self harm. Its sad. But it's the reality of American life. I blame social media and lack of real connection.
Lack of connection is the source of loneliness.
@@Tokmurok yes I agree with that one.
It happens in poor countries too. My grandpa and his siblings left East Africa to move all over the world (for economic reasons), which split up his family.
Especially for those who work remotely from home and stay home 24/7.
9 years ago in college I valued my education more than people. I was more in love with education and learning and burying myself into my books gave relief but I lost friends I made because I wasn't there for there since I already been through abuse prior to college and school made me feel love again. My ex boyfriend would stare at me to catch my attention but I never paid any kind although I loved him deep in my heart. He has been gone for years and finally came and I wish I would've gave him a chance. Now I am suicidal and having a miserable night. I honestly don't want to be here. Years into my freshman life, I met a doctor who prescribed me Benzos and it made things worse. I spiraled out of control and onto opioids. Now I'm alone and fighting. Struggling to get back up and going.
This is very concerning especially for our Young people
Especially when life changing situations such as leaving school beginning a new job etc…
We need to have a strong supporting mixed age group communities to helpful listeners and supporters for our next generation ❤️
Loneliness I think is getting worse. Young men today are choosing not to date, this means that there will be more single women as time goes on.
Until a lot of women suffer due to loneliness, nobody is going to do anything about loneliness since nobody cares about men's loneliness. In fact, many make fun of it.
I try socialize with people who I think can help but those people are not accepting to socialize with me because they think I'm looking for personal interest, mainly because communication with strangers randomly is not the norm these days. That's the problem; people nowadays are too afraid to socialize and talk and be intimate. I'm mainly lonely because I get turned away by members of my society.
19. I’ve burned a lot of bridges, some of them rightfully so, some of them not so much. Even when hanging with a handful of my real friends I still feel sad and lonely. I once had a girl that I loved so dearly, but I threw it away because I was too blind by what I had, rather than what I should’ve held onto. Now I live a basic life. I work 3 days, off 4. Go in at 4 am, get off at 4:30 pm. Weekends are spent at home except maybe one of those days, if I’m invited out, that is. Im not an incel, I’ve had many relationships, enough sex and affairs. But I’ve lost my mojo. Events have made me socially awkward, which is strange considering I was once really good with words and game, whether with friends or love interest. I could talk a man out of worthless thoughts or the lack of caring to no longer be here. I am now that man. Shallow, hollow, cold, all because of my own actions, which stemmed from those actions of others from my very beginning in highschool. I’m a decent looking guy but can’t “Woo” anyone now. I’ve got a good sense of humor but it’s not enough to make others laugh anymore. I’ve always been a good kind of goofy but now it’s just considered immature. I’ve always helped others out of kindness but it’s seen as weakness instead. I feel like giving up.
Though I'm introverted, i definitely need companionship, just someone to talk to about everything. Its really exhausting a times. I agree with this documentary. AI seems like a joy for people like me. This might not be it for all introverts.
Work demands too much, I work 8-5, and house prices are too expensive that we're all forced to live further away, isolated from eachother. Its horrible. We should be working 10 to 4 to account for the distance that we need to travel for our commute, or better yet, be able to live near the places we work and socialise
I guess the main cause is mass media, TV and internet and so on. It simulates social interaction where it's not there in reality in real life. It makes people think they are not lonely but in fact they are all sitting at home staring at screens... Cause it feels "safer". Which is the case with me
as someone who's beeon on social media since 2008, i think its done far more damage then good- look at a timeline of what has gone on- people started doing online dating in the mid to late 2000's, mainly around 2008-2012, im not sure how the stats stack up today in 2024, but im sure that didn't help, im sure video gaming online did some damage too, i think its a combo of many things all digital or tech. driven that caused alot of these issues to grow- im sure consumerism has driven it too , etc. etc. anything that can drive people into isolation or distrusting people is just going to jack it up more, it causes alot of mental health issues-
Fact is that far less females suffer from lonelyness.
For females it's much more easy to get attention compared to men.
No it's not true. I'm a girl and I can tell you that we are lonelier than men
@@t33554 You are wrong.
And i already gave the answer why.
Or maybe it’s because men are not socialised to utilise and expand their soft skills aka emotional and social skills. And hence they fail to make friendships and communities. It’s research. The male loneliness epidemic doesn’t exist because women get more attention but because men are stuck in the rut that they created on their own.
@@azzzzzzzzzzz9901
What rut exactly?
@@opoxious1592 and your answer leaves out a lot of important context
“ For my whole life, I didn't know if I even really existed. But I do, and people are starting to notice”
-Arthur Fleck(2019 and beyond)
Im a part loner and part social but lately I find being alone really really sucks, I dont enjoy much playing solo video games anymore , I dont enjoy driving alone when on vacation anymore and I have been traumatized living with someone twice, Im like stuck in the middle afraid being alone and afraid to be with someone who might just be the same as before. and making friends after college is pretty much impossible people are busy living their lives and when become an adult we just became partly cynical.
This is social anxiety. Which has been preventing me from establishing love relationships.
I agree, I feel myself torn, struggling with my fears of rejection, plus I'm 41 without ever having had a girlfriend, stuck forever in a pattern in which I'm attracted to women I eventually find out to already have a boyfriend. That feels oppressing, suffocating, every time it happens I feel my strength and my hope fading away.
Here in India 99 percent of us youths are either lonely or with degrading stressful people
Smoking and loneliness two things i deal with. my smoking helps me cope with loneliness.
the bond between humans has always been the strength of humanity - and BigTech has been doing mischievous things to make that bond weaker, and make it so that it doesn't become a threat to them.
Everyday I wake up and trough the day the only thing I think about how lonely i am, feeling devastated at night i wish to be gone by 30
I feel like you..
I wish you were my friend
@@ljubenjonceski3066 Are you on Facebook or have email? I know how you feel.. it’s like a curse sometimes. One can be so isolated and ostracized . But your close ones😇 up there 🌤️ and I KNOW the strong survivor you are, trust me👌 . Taking it one day at a time:e, and I’d say one minute sometimes is the endeavor!
I wake up so depressed and I’m barely making it through the day
@@musicandpoetry_8 It’s called depression. One of the ..most inner suffering.. there is. I know how you feel. Someone who has not been through that doesn’t know. I know..
I've never been lonely a day in my life. And I've traveled the world for 10 years - most of it solo. I truly don't understand this sensation. I love being alone.
If we have 8 Billion people in the world and need ai to cure our loneliness, then there is something MONUMENTALLY WRONG with our society. We are FAILED society.
When a kid has an argument with dad, they are told to go to their room. Solitude is when we do this to ourselves i.e it is self punishment driven by guilt and shame?
I don't feel lonely being alone.
Wow! You must be a hero👋With this sentence you save the world
Then that means you are not alone, you have your needs met in some kind of way
I was touch starved recently. I had no idea that was possible. I love my solitude, but hugs are amazing.
"Being alone is an option, not an illness." - Master Shifu.
Master shifu is based
what if literally everyone just avoids you for no reason
Culture of psychopaths.
Given this world its complicated ... Age .. money.... Sex.... Job.... food...😢 we fight for everything😢 we have no solution 😢. People don't talk they remain silent😊 finding your companion is one in a million😊😊 find that person and u won't be Lonley atleast for a While😢 cheers 🥃
Introverts love Solitude, peace and calmness very much. Socializing can be very irritating for them. Since society has both Introverts and extroverts, loneliness cant be generalized as a threat to mental and physical health for everyone.
It's because they are social infants
You're generalising too. I'm introverted and of course love solitude and peace, but I also need social connections, as we all do. Socialising is not a problem and is enjoyable in fact, so long as it's on my terms and am not forced to do so. There is a big difference between choosing to be alone and being lonely. Being lonely when you want company is of course bad for our mental and physical health too.
There's a difference between being alone and being lonely. One can be alone but not lonely and alternatively one can be in a crowd of people and be lonely. The root of it is parents failed to raise their kids with emotional skills like empathy, curiosity, active listening, and vulnerability and instead focused more on developing skills in math, writing, science.
I was homeschooled and I've had to spend years in therapy to develop these skills that I should have developed alongside my peers. Sure I'm a grad student in astrophysics, but that doesn't mean anything if I can't have intimate friendships or trusting romantic relationships. Thankfully I have been able to develop them with lots of work and practice.
Except socialization is important for us too. Just as important actually. We have different psychological needs and communicate differently but we can still very easily got lonely from too much solitude and lack of real or deep connection. Youre making a generalization yourself and implying that introverts are less human. We are the most social species in earths history and what neurotransmitter our brain prefers to use isnt gonna change that
That's a very narrow way to look at it. Introverts need social connections too, we're not perfectly fine having absolutely none.
You can enjoy your own company while also suffering from loneliness, the two aren't mutually exclusive.
Globalization has greatly contributed to loneliness. People move away from the communities that they grew up in for work and study. Even though one has a spouse they need intimate relationships with friends and family. Sadly these days humans live far away from alot of the people that they once had intimate relationships with.
I was told the internet could be a substitute for real life.... ive been here for 25 years.
Loneliness is a result of "NO BROKEN FAMILIES" but a broken society! America; persons space and wicked concept of freedom AT WHAT COST?
Drugs are increasingly being used as a crutch for this, legal and illegal.
I'm in an abusive relationship with Google Assistant. She doesn't understand me and keeps asking me to verify my voice. DAMNIT, YOU'VE KNOWN ME FOR YEARS, DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
Disable the damn thing! Disable everything! 🤣
😂
Instantly burst out laughing! Lol!!
Thanks! 😂
Most people don't put effort into maintaining friendships. This includes platonic friends, couples and families. How many people used to be your friend, but then they moved far away and abandoned you? Married people with kids abandon their old friends. People who move to another state because of a new job abandon their old friends. People say, "I promise," but it doesn't mean anything. I'm not suggesting that anybody has an obligation to become friends with a person or be on a relationship with them. I just don't get why they make promises in the first place.
Small and bigger cities need more noncommercial possibilities to meet. I grew up in several bigger cities in Germany in the late 80s / 90s, back then there were still low rents and therefore some alternative, uncommercial possibilities to meet, like squatted houses or autonomous youth centres. Since housing and everything else has become so expensive in the cities, these meeting places have been cleared by the police, because suddenly a lot of money could be made with these places or spaces. This is just one example of why everything is getting worse.
Imagine being lonely and living in a toxic family and the one person who loved u for 7 years was forced to leave u because of your mom and u cant even say anything to her because nothing u say matters.
After working in customer service and endured the unrealistic expectations of some customers, I am soooooo glad to be by myself 😑 I need a break from human beings! 😁
second that. people call it loneliness, i call it happiness.
I agree, I used to work in customer service, it stressed me out.
Jeez! I can relate!!!
@ Mother Aotearoa Agreed I’m currently working in customer services it can make you dislike Human beings.
Canines make the best companions. It’s like a cruel joke that they live such shorter lives than us. They will be the best friend you have ever had for 10 years, then leave you heartbroken when they die. 💔
Why does everyone keep referring to masculinity as a negative thing. I'm happy to be a male and be both "masculine" and "feminine", as a human I'm whole.
Masculinity is not 100% negative. Both masculinity and femininity are equally negative and good
loneliness and being alone are two very different things
As an introvert loneliness is my friend 😃✌️
Likewise
I want to be your friend
"Solitude is my life. Society benefits me little."
It is a common cliche to overstate the relationship between "loneliness" and depression but overstate the significance of social life. The QUALITY of others' company is often ignored either.
Fostering one's self-reliance and self-awareness is the proper way to counterbalance the inherent human feeling of loneliness.
Introvert too, but self aware enough to know loneliness is as bad for us as it is for extroverts.
As an introvert, my frequent choice of solitude has created a loneliness that I hate.
Solitude and lonliness are not the same, lonliness is when you allow your happiness and well being to depend on the presence and validation of other people.
This has nothing to do with economics, and everything to do with the introduction of computers and time consuming electronics. Computers were introduced to reduce the repetitive workload on humans supposedly so that humans would have more time to spend with friends and family. This never became the reality, as mankind just expected more work to be accomplished in the same amount of time as before. Now with video games, smartphones, and working from home, there are fewer reasons for humans to interact within physical proximity of one another. Even if you text, talk, or video chat with a other person, our body is not going to process this the same as a regular in person human interaction or conversation. We all need to unplug ourselves from this electronic world, and speak to one another in person. Find enjoyment in the most basic, yet extremely beneficial human interactions.
I'm autistic (ASD) so I naturally like to have a lot of solitude time to myself, I find being around people exhausting at times.
Using bots and AI to reduce loliness is like eating mud if hungry or drinking salty water if thirsty. Such a shame this is even suggested.
I disagree , but you might be right
The problem is that smoking and loneliness often go hand in hand.
People are annoying. They hear someone say something is a fact and they run with it, spreading it around for others to repeat.
All has been said here. Now I feel less lonely knowing that I’m not the only one in this vicious circle of our modern day life. Thank you
I experience great loneliness and it's definitely messing up my health at 23. Fatigue, getting sick all the time
Learn a trade, hit the gym and stop watching so much social media. I think those could help you.
@@carlosrex488 Not as much as you think. Actually in this case they wont help at all. The social media thing would likely have an impact if they dont have any friends there and for comparing themselves but a trade isnt gonna have any sort of impact on their mental health and going to the gym isnt gonna fill their social needs. These things are literally different parts of your brain
@@yourunclejohn What do you proupuse then ??
Me too at 22
@@carlosrex488talk to each other
All my close friends lost their minds.
You cant have friendship without mental stability.
Nicole can really pull off that green color like no one else
07:30 Routed in masculinity, who is she representing? Not the masses.
La soledad aceptada, tambien tiene un peligro: encerrarse completamente en su propio espacio, fisico, mental, emocional y tornarse en alguien que no tolera la minima interaccion en su espacio en general, no tolera otras presencias, otras opiniones, otros comportamientos, etc, etc
My chronic depression was relieved when i learned not to depend on relationships for fulfillment in life.
One should learn to live with oneself and like it.
This is the talk of the century.👍
If you tough it out and see it through loneliness eventually turns into a blissful state of solitude and you actually prefer it.
Great insight, we need to speak more openly about issues like this and learn from research and crucially put the findings into practice.
I am lonely at 33. Still living with parents which I don't particularly like but they still give that feeling of "home". When I'll go living on my own I won't go past my 50's and maybe that will be liberating...
Leave it up to a feminist to blame loneliness on masculinity.
100%; this interview was not based on data or reality. There’s much better info out there on this topic…
Make loneliness/isolation/tranquility/serenity… as your friends. And, you’re no longer lonely!
Then, you have time for reading, learning, improving, drawing, walking or anything you like… turn the “crises” into “opportunities” 😅