Abuse Victim's Body: Effects of Abuse and Its Aftermath
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ม.ค. 2012
- Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq...
Victims and survivors experience psychosomatic and "real" bodily symptoms, some of them induced by the secretion of stress hormones such as cortisol: increased blood pressure, racing pulse, headaches, excessive sweating and myriad self-imputed diseases. The victims endures shame, depression, anxiety, embarrassment, guilt, humiliation, abandonment, and an enhanced sense of vulnerability.
In a way, the torture victim's own body is rendered his worse enemy. It is corporeal agony that compels the sufferer to mutate, his identity to fragment, his ideals and principles to crumble. The body becomes an accomplice of the tormentor, an uninterruptible channel of communication, a treasonous, poisoned territory.
It fosters a humiliating dependency of the abused on the perpetrator. Bodily needs denied -- sleep, toilet, food, water -- are wrongly perceived by the victim as the direct causes of his degradation and dehumanization. As he sees it, he is rendered bestial not by the sadistic bullies around him but by his own flesh.
(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 3 DVDs with 16 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: www.narcissistic-abuse.com/the...)
My hair began to turn white, but when my abuse was over and I went NC, my color came back.
Emily Bourie my hair was falling out! It’s slowed down now but it’s not grown back in the way it was before narc abuse
Same here I was goin bald and gray hair my hair was looking stringey and thin like I was sick but it is finally sllowly groupwimg
My hair thinned n began falling out in patches. My narc always loved my thick long hair, so I decided to shave it all off. That's right, I had my head shaved bald! Works for me.
Plus he'll never grab me by my hair again😉.
Omg me too!! I was like, I’ve never had white hair and I’m only 31. What?? But they never came back after he discarded.
mine is dry and falling by bunches and going white. Refreshing comment. I never thought my sweet looking bpd ex would use me like an object. I really thought she was the love of my life. I got discarded and hoovered thrice.. not a fourth one. I raged at my family on new years eve out of poor frustration and powerlessness since my whole life went in a bad downspiral. I feel the emptier i have ever been. Tried to get closurr today and was further insulted and blamed for everything. NC is a must for me now
He has caused be chronic illness, cptsd, anxiety and immune problems to name a few. These people are soul destroying and very dangerous
During my abuse, I was so obsessed, sick, my hair was so dry and breaking, literally falling down in the shower. Was like I was plugged into a switch. He treated so poorly, ruthlessly, with insomnia, panic attacks, anxiety, depression, and other health problems, he tried to kill me. And failed. I treated him so well. Did whatever he wanted, yet, lied me, conned me, lied to me with a fraud marriage, used me and gone. Never again. God/Jesus saved me.
When I was with the Narcissist, I never felt more sick in my life. Everytime I went to the doctors, it was something else I was being diagnosed with. I felt like I couldn't function. My mind was so shut down. Before the Narcissist, I was so healthy and happy never sick at all. Their words hurt you. It kills the inside slowly. We must go no contact for our well-being.
Me too.
metoo ❤
I spent entire 2015-2016 like this. Two years. My counselor never called it this, and never treated this as an abuse situation. She attempted to co-counsel us and get us on the same page, overlooking all of the abusive incidents I described. I felt worthless, ugly, and unloved. I chopped off my beautiful hair. I had periods of shaking, not eating, extreme fear and worry, hyper vigilance and sensitivity, and to this day I have persistent ache in my chest near my heart. I isolated myself and fell into victim-mode, self pity. I cried everyday for a year. There are triggers. Songs, phrases, memories, etc that make me physically distressed.
msdeety
Youre not ALONE SWEETHEART... you're BEAUTIFUL TRUST ME IF THAT'S YOUR PIC IN PROFILE. 😉
msdeety pray to God, love yourself for every day that you become stronger and closer to the beauty of loving God. I went through a similar situation but it lasted almost 5 years. I'm just starting to find my peace and love xxx
Are you still in that relationship ???
I think trauma from abuse has not been widely recognized or acknowledged, until relatively recently.
even 1 year later... I am with you, you are not alone
This is very true. I felt torn up, violated, soiled and thrown away by the time I was able to crawl out of the wreckage of a lifetime of abuse by a narcissist/psychopath. It is so painful and corrupting to any values, healthy boundaries and positive self image it is total devestation and a crumbling of the victim's personality. Don't keep there secrets.
It is shocking how much physical damage Narcissistic abuse can cause. I was only involved with the Narcissist for 2 years and I ended up with thinning hair, erratic periods, thrush, UTIs, Bartholin cysts, insomnia, PTSD, weight gain. Getting back to normal after over a year no contact but he made me feel old and ugly for a time. I've certainly aged. I count myself lucky though, because I have a friend who ended up with cancer during Narcissistic abuse. I don't doubt that Narcissists can induce cancer in their targets. They are truly toxic.
Please also remember, you can't make sense out of a crazy person. Let it go. Yes it hurts and takes time. LET GO.
thank you
They are a lot more to this than anyone who has never been through it can ever know.
I made the same comment to a supporting friend last night 😢
The hamster wheel of terror we keep running in our minds is terribly exhausting. You got that rite Sam
if I could get a labotomy and remove the last 3 years of him from my brain.... I would 😣
@@phylvalen9991 I feel you ...I truly felt that way over 3 years ago...I saw no way out of that place my mind was in.
I now write my own blog about my experience...my fb is public...there is a way out and you will find it yourself...good luck.
You are stronger than you think 😘❤️
Omgosh, I just said that to a friend today!! 🤯
I am a child of a female narcissistic conceiver, who drained everything from me, manipulated and abused me for her own goals. She manipulated me by locking me up, gaslighting me, constantly lying and threatening me, stealing all my money to blackmail me against my father, setting me up against my father, attacked me often verbally, made me dependent and weak, and was especially keen on threatening my self-valuing.
She essentially dumped me, after i was so drained, that i was neither able nor willing to be a narc supply anymore, so she discarded me and is nowhere to be seen now, she doesn't call anyone, moved, essentially hates everyone that isn't admiring her.
After that i was indeed unhygienic, extremely depressed, unhealthy in all respects, fearful of almost everything, absolutely confused and, what is most important, not able to recount the abuse as abuse. I understood, that she was the reason for my ills, but not why or how, as all that was deeply inside my gaslighted mind, and as long as her manipulation of blaming me instead of her was still strong, i couldn't really move on. I couldn't enjoy anything, my individuality was so broken, that i always held onto, what others wanted me to do, i was easy to become abused again, and hard to trust others, i remained in that shell for almost 6 years, after i finally now have the strength and courage to move on.
This narcissistic abuser is no longer in my life, and she can fuck off and i hope she will never suck out the lifeforce of others as well. In the end she will die absolutely alone, she already is on a good way to it.
💜 exact same story.
Truer words were never spoken, every single one of them. Thank you Sam.
Family, please pray for me.
They are sick non human beings. The ones who aid them are just as sick and abusive. People who do this should be locked up and so should those who help them.
Yes my boss turns a blind eye as she attacks us.
Reality and Common Sense
🙏🏻❤️👍🏻😔
I agree. They are not completely human.
I am a male Domestic Violence survivor, you sir, are a god in my book. Thank you for making these videos, they have helped me a ton!
@@SpliffyMeister is a QAnon cultist and a complete bummer and should be denied the narcissistic supply she craves. Thoughts n prayers gurl.
@@SpliffyMeister How do U kno this? He knows because he himself is a narc? Proof plz. I don't doubt U, just want 2 see for myself! Thanks!9
@@laurenm9563 its true, although I would hesitate to condemn him so harshly. He does provide a wealth of information that can help others avoid or escape narcissistic abuse. I saw a video of him in a live seminar, where he talked to a questioner, looking to him in admiration, like the person was trash.and ver batem told the person with a demeaning cluster b smile that he didnt care if the person agreed with him or not. It definately tempered my opinion of him. Just pay attention, he has absolutely no emotion in his voice, nor empathy in his comments. But he uses self discipline to overcome his own entitlement and present this information so people might benefit, and in turn, Im sure, gets tons of supply in the deal!
@@kenrussell1093 there's nothing wrong with telling someone you don't care if they agree with your opinion or not. You shouldn't hold an opinion that hinges on someone else's agreement. You should hold an opinion because it is what you think, believe, prefer, etc.
Maybe his smile was more about, "I know a great deal more about this topic than you do. You want meto change my opinion because you think it's wrong for who-knows-what reason. Sorry, I don't care if you agree with my opinion. I won't say I believe something I don't"?
Or, it could have been that grin I know all too well. I hate that grin.
No one has ever explained it this way.
I felt like this always . I turned to drinking wine to cope . I have gotten a little stronger . Not much still in relationship. . I am learning I have to leave and not look back . As anyone else used anything that cope?
Michele Ruzicka Exercise and meditation!
Weed, Valerian root, and Fight training. TBH, I get the best results from the fight training. Grown men narcissists hate getting 'hurt' by the tiny target, it turns out!
You deserve better. We deserved better than that. I hope we find it and we must demand it or leave those who are bad and never again.
You hate your body so so much. You start calling it "it" to distance yourself and disown it.
i was so stressed out that i suffered of a repetitive strain injury to the neck .
houdapurple
Me to 😔
I got an eye infection
same here
Being under narc's abuse for many years,without being able to define it,somatically i dealed twice with cancer,kidney failure and finally i developed a rare illness called Wilson.The point is i managed till now to survive against all odds.That's victory for me,but the PTSD is here strongly....
Thanks Sam! Definitely headaches and panic attacks and sleep deprivation
@@tbd5082 its allot better i think if u see the wood for the trees it certainly leaves u better equiped!
So much inflicted and had reacting of trauma to further trigger old wounds of a former abuser, a complicated web of deceit.
To Get revenge on a Narc is self torture. YOU ARE FULL OF EMPATHY, they can't care less. Let go of the person you thought they were, and get a hold of you YOU are. Or you will be living in sadness, JUST LIKE THEY ARE. GET MY DRIFT????????????????????? I truely think that playing a Narcissist's game is to feel just like they do. That is a horrible feeling. Just love them as much as they will let you, and smile at them, and hold your dignity.
fortsmithow
😭🙏🏻❤️👍🏻
fortsmithow ... respect. thx
I can’t even finish listening to your video b/c you’re right. It makes me physically sick. It started on me at 9 y/o by my mom isolating me on a farm. I found out this is not normal and escaped a week ago last Monday. I’m 32 years old. I’m so scared of everything and I want to go back so bad. I’m tired of everyone saying I’m the worst case they’re ever seen. I don’t understand. I’ve been hiding in this hotel room ever since. Would you help me please. I’m so paralyzed with fear. All the worst memories I forgot are now flooding in my mind like I can see it for 2-3 seconds at a time. Please help me?
Only a qualified mental health diagnostician can determine whether someone
suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and this, following lengthy
tests and personal interviews.
These may be of help - click on the links:
vaksam.tripod.com/1.html
vaksam.tripod.com/npdglance.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq82.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faqpd.html
Healing and Curing Narcissism
vaksam.tripod.com/faq63.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq77.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq70.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq12.html
vaksam.tripod.com/10.html
vaksam.tripod.com/case03.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq31.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html
vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders37.html
vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders45.html
Links to Therapist Directories, Psychological Tests, NPD Resources, Support
Groups for narcissists and their victims, and Tutorials:
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5458
Support groups for victims of narcissists and psychopaths (and one or two
groups for narcissists)
dmoz.org/Health/Mental_Health/Disorders/Personality/Narcissistic/Support_Groups/
Please call a domestic violence hotline. I hope you are doing better and safe. 💖💕💖💕
I was also isolated. I know the fear that comes along with it 🙏🏼
That PDSD is interesting. I noticed it right away after a narc woman I knew suddenly "changed". She went from being nice to name calling, shaming and blaming etc. Had me thinking to myself "I know I'm not crazy...but somethings wrong here". I wouldn't talk to her for a few weeks so I could gather back me wits. I also notice PDSD after a bad break up with an ex. The ONLY way I got through this was one, engross myself into my job. And two, stay away from anything that could trigger those flashbacks i.e. watching shows like "Cheaters" in my case with the ex.
My physical n mental state for the last 3 years...in a nutshell....
Paula Dsilva yup, just thinking about my ex and the abuse gives me instant anxiety usually requiring meds😓
I just ended a fifteen-month laisson with a narcissist with borderline traits, things that I did not see comprehensively or clearly for a long time, but when I did I started exiting---not without its chaos and physical/emotional stress. I will never again get into one of these slaughter houses, now that I know the deadly mind of these types of women. What a lesson.
I've worked for over 20 years with an angry narcissist. She has really effect my health. I feel on edge all the time not knowing when she will attack. I need my job so I have no choice but to stay.
Keep up the good work Dr.!!!! Its also good to get as spiritually sound as you possibly can, it works miracles, during, and post!!!
Thank you for this too, i suffered great abuse for an extended time and my body sympotoms were blamed on drug use even though i took no drugs and drug tested negative, they said i was at fault to keep from blaming my abuser.
This video about PTSD & depression is so on point! I experienced this horror show by myself a few years ago and the healing process still goes on.
Then, right when I thought "the worst" would be over.. (after a few flashback free months) I discovered underneath all this shit a complex-PTSD aswell.
Why do some abused children turn into Cluster-B adults & some into the entire opposite (hypervigilant empath with codependent tendencies)??? Can you make a video about that?
Astonishing insight.
Think healthy eat healthy.......try your best to sleep well..........keep god close..... ladies shower..... get that hair do ..... put that make up on..... remember your beautiful
Yes I deviled agoraphobia by being with him he still abused me at that time. I wanted to leave him but couldn't he controlled my mind
Afraid to right my truth
Strong bells ringing :(
So true, thank you for confirming a few things.
Thank you Sam. Thank you so much.
Thank you Dr. Vaknin. Of all people, your work has helped me to understand myself the most. I am glad I found your videos.
Thank you so much you are truly informative on everything you teach about narcissist. Thank you for helping me understand. 🙏🙏
Ty wow, this is very good ,accurate and helpful to affected and those that care or know in family friends work- as its rarely talked about, like its taboo and its not!( just MANY do not understand or get this ,affects the body!) learn and heal and love yourself!...repeat often keep the faith...
The study is done well , at least the condition is known Excellent tell . Great thanks . In the grips in this .
Thank you for this video
Thank you. I have some of the symptoms from being stalked and sexually harrassed.
Very good video 👌
unfortunately, i am very familiar with this.
I wish you well and hope you will find some way through
You r an expert
I would like to know what happens to narcissist while in prison. How are the sources treated. What changes happen once he's out then subsequently when he's off parole?
If it all hasn't been enough suddenly harassing you and convincing you you are having signs of all these symptoms on top of everything like they want to implant these in you.... Is this the beginning of the next cycle .....gaslighting all over again? Does it end ?
Sam, Thank you. Can you please elaborate or comment on how one who is a victim of cluster b abuse could develop a tremor?
Hi Sam Vaknin, Thank you so much for you video you have just explained to me the last 30 years of my life. within 15 mins . Have you got any videos or sites that helps fight back and take control back of our life's after 30 years of torture? Please Please don't think this is a lie because I am really telling the truth. Please any advice that could help me I would be most grateful and forever in you debt. much love and thank you
The Narcissist's Victims
vaksam.tripod.com/faq38.html
Victim
Reactions to Abuse by Narcissists and Psychopaths
vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders70.html
Mourning
the Narcissist
vaksam.tripod.com/faq68.html
The
Three Forms of Closure
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse17.html
Back
to La-la Land
vaksam.tripod.com/journal78.html
The
Spouse/Mate/Partner of the Narcissist
vaksam.tripod.com/faq6.html
Divorcing
the Narcissist and the Narcissistic Psychopath - How Do I Get Rid
of
Him?
vaksam.tripod.com/5.html
Traumas
as Social Interactions
vaksam.tripod.com/trauma.html
How
Victims are Affected by Abuse
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily21.html
How
Victims are Affected by Abuse - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily22.html
How
Victims are Affected by Abuse - Recovery and Healing
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily23.html
Rescue
Fantasies - Surviving the Narcissist
vaksam.tripod.com/faq80.html
The
Malignant Optimism of the Abused
vaksam.tripod.com/journal27.html
The
Inverted Narcissist - Codependence and Relationships with
Abusive
Narcissists
vaksam.tripod.com/faq66.html
Codependence
and the Dependent Personality Disorder
vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders22.html
The
Dependent Patient - A Case Study
vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders56.html
Danse
Macabre - Trauma bonding and the Stockholm Syndrome
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily.html
The
Cult of the Narcissist
vaksam.tripod.com/journal79.html
Narcissists
and Personality disordered Mates, Spouses, and Partners
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5013
Projection
and Projective Identification - Abuser in Denial
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5002
Approach-Avoidance
Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5000
Guilt?
What guilt?
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4931
Narcissists,
psychopaths, sex, and marital fidelity
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4920
The
Narcissist or Psychopath Hates your Independence and Personal Autonomy
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4959
I
miss him so much - I want him back!
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4934
Participate
in discussions about Abusive Relationships - click on these
links:
plus.google.com/communities/116582645889927140499
www.runboard.com/bnarcissisticabuserecovery
thepsychopath.freeforums.org/
The
Narcissistic Abuse Study List
health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/
The
Toxic Relationships Study List
groups.yahoo.com/group/toxicrelationships
Abusive
Relationships Newsletter
groups.google.com/group/narcissisticabuse/
Thank you much love
All of this describes what is going on with me to a T. And my abuser is spreading rumors about me that I am Bi-Polar.
I thought starting at 7:12 that point about societies where abuse and torture are the norm and socially acceptable was interesting. I don't come from a culture like that and that wouldn't be intuitive to me how people would react in those societies.
I come from Indian culture where all parents control their children. On top of the already accepted role of parents, if your parents happen to be narcissistic, nobody will realize that your case is still more painful than the "normal" case of controlling parents which is all parents. So if you try to share your experience, nobody gets it and you are told you are too sensitive.
I grew up in India and narcissism is a prevalent behaviour among parents and spouses. Provided divorce is a taboo. In short, you are lucky if gather the courage to leave a narc, then the rest is a battle with the family and society, which delays the healings.
I WAS LOST ... BUT NOW IM FOUND.
DR. Vaknin, you're the...
💡 LIGHT IN SHORE THAT GUIDED ME FROM DARK SEA.
THANK YOU SIR, FOR FULFILLING YOUR LIFE PATH BEAUTIFULLY ACROSS THE GLOBE. A BLESSING PEACE OF MIND, AND HEALING.💗
Plus vertigo.
true!!!! i kept waiting for my n to stop but he never does...their mask DOES slip from time to time
@fancyfrenchy The abused? or the abuser? Actually, I wouldn't think that's too common. Except that it's his way of not dealing with reality.
I wasn't abused physically but I've still been diagnosed with PTSD. How does that work?
+Rebecca Bloodworth Read about C-PTSD here: samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily22.html
Why do I feel sorry for my abuser? Please help me understand. Thanks
Because you're a good person with real feelings. They don't have any feelings. Stay no contact
Headaches.
🙏🏻👍🏻❤️
How do you explain the connection between Parkinson's and the sadistic covered narcissist, shy but still far too interested in sex (oxytocin and dopamine production) ... considering that the gallant and polite sociopath has no way of acknowledging that he smells my skin as if I would be a cooked chicken, raising his appetite! In any case, in no way does he want to acknowledge the fact that he sucks my energy and copies my personality, shouting through state institutions that I am the one who wants to take advantage of a trembling patient and as polite as he is! 🤢 .. using a sexist and passive aggressive language, he tries to mask in any form the fact that, he is in fact the one who takes advantage of my financial situation, in a dictatorial and absurdly visible way ...
in the end .. unfortunately his so-called hidden career, behind the money and an imaginary illness (the disease is only start when he does not get what he wants) the refusal is the start button "I have to say only so "recogniz that you are a Narcissist" and he starts shaking, annoyed at the peaks and accusing me of criticizing him and I'm a sadist and i don't care about him! .. huh yes "you can't ask the chicken to make eggs after you've cooked it"! I thought narcobots are artificially intelligent, but it seems to be just an illusion.
now his illness is getting worse, when he realizes that "the chicken is dead, but she can live with that". The problem is that he has run out of food and the internet is full of "how to recognize a covered Narcissist" ... 🤑🤡😇🤥
This explains a lot... But i have a question; Can a narcissist be abused by another narcissist?
goktug emre Yes
I bloody hope so 😊
you might consider the hormonal disorder for a study, it set's genetic marks. that's an mutation level, taking manifestation as lgbtq-p all ready.