You Don't Deserve to Be Happy, Loved (Bad Object)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2024
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Anger at dead parents who install and instill harsh inner critic (superego is part of ego and impairs reality testing).
Bad object messaging: 1. You are unlovable 2. You don’t deserve happiness.
All people are lovable (number of permutations with 6 billion adults, even serial killers in prison)
Happiness is not a desert, it has to be merited and earned
But bad object uses introject to generate ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) which are self-sabotaging (self-undermining), self-defeating, self-harmful, self-trashing, and self-destructive.
Some people reject happiness and embrace misery. They belong to either of three groups.
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I inadvertently silenced my harsh inner critic by changing my name! I detached from the name my parents gave me and the inner critic shrivelled up and slithered away.
@@sagejordan7867 I'm sorry, and I understand that pain. I didn't mention that I gave myself the name I'd given to my beloved cat 10 years previously and I've never said a harsh word to her. Somehow I can't say a harsh word to myself in my head now because it's the same name. I can't explain properly
No way that worked. Explain
@@matten_zero It did! Completely unexpected result, no doubt strengthened by my estrangement from the original critics.
Good 4you!
it does work ...because my name was used as an abuse word by my parents .. whenever I was asked my name it was triggering. Best thing I did apart from no contact ever again with abuse f.o.o.
Thank you Professor, for considering the baby seals -
Professor Vaknin, thank you.
I love how you give proper credit to your peers
Thank you from a Christmas survivor 😂
Ahh...Highlander - such a great yet saddening movie.
Some can see an analogy in it:
Immortality - the narcissist's dream - yet how would he be able to withstand it if he's unable to even live his short, mortal life fully?
He has no one to share it with - no equals - he's all alone in this empty desert of his cursed mind he inhabits - truly a lonely and sad creature - almost like Connor McLeod - a god among humans.
(Sorry for too many hyphens)
Merry Christmas to everyone and to you Professor.
Thank you Professor. Sam Vaknin your videos are very helpful.
How so?
Your video is very validating, and I struggle with this. Thank you for explaining the bad object.
Love this channel. Your classes are be absolutely awesome. Thanks for sharing your thoughts in the wwweb and allowing people from far away (like me) to have access to your teachings . 🎉
Professor, can you please make a video on the topic of what happens to a child who grew up with one healthy parent and one "dead parent"?
The more I watch your videos the more I opened my eyes about myself, but I can't relate fully to a specific type of disorder, because on the one hand I don't have self love issues (thanks mom), but on the other I struggle with relationships and I can see how I make same mistakes as my father. For example I was in a mostly healthy 7y relationship but also in a trauma bond with a toxic person. In my town there's no skilled therapist so I have you to thank for truly changing my life with this priceless content!
Thanks for saying what you did about manifesting. I have too many friends who really think if they expect happiness, it'll just fall into their laps.
On point, as always. Thank you.
This is such an amazing video. Thank you for explaining especially of the Masohistic Personality Disorder. I would love to learn how to quiet down the introjects/bad objects.
The whole video got me saying no, no, please no. How one can get rid of the bad object? 😢
Because I’m with a broken and depressed Husband that needs my TLC and will live out Our Lives till one of Us makes that eternal transition ❤️💫
Happy New Year 2023
Its so hard to belive I am lovable. I hate almost every aspect of me, how I look, how I talk, how I walk, and the list goes on and on and on. I know none of them is true, but some stupid part in me refuses to accept. It fears that even if someone will try to love me I won't be able to return their love or push them away or they will leave me. It reminds me what happenes to me when I am hurt. And I dont want to get hurt. For most people it might seem stupid. Everybody gets hurt, you can't just run from it. But when your natural state is felling hurt, more hurt seems worse than hell.
I wish I could feel happy. Nothing makes me happy. My younger self would be so proud to see what I achieved, yet I don't feel happy. Even worse, my achievements remind me of how broken I am. And my stupid heart will try to find some hope somewhere, that maybe if I just made more money, or if I just get more muscles then I would stop feeling so empty all the time. Not so surprisingly it never works, never will. My friends wonder why I am so obsessed with myself and my work. Only if they knew 😂
Watch the Life's Wisdom playlist.
@@samvaknin I will.
How do we fight back against the Sadistic Superego inside ourselves?
I want to know this too! Maybe responding to it with affirmations and telling it to go away
I want to know that too!
I survived it, with damage
Any women would react badly. To being abuse and neglect.
It makes me furious.
Thank you so much!
Of Course, You deserve to be Loved, and Happy. But you have to work at it.
All Children are Loveable.
Law of Attraction isn't real.
You have helped me find enlightenment
I can only say LITERALLY ME
I have come to identify as a baby seal. Touché.
Thank you ♥️
Thank you
My fav proff
Would he answer if I asked a question in the comment section on one of his videos?
i’ll answer for him 🤣
Usually not. Just refers you to his website, another video or ignores you
Dear Sam,
can he be GreyRocking me, in case he is without money and nowhere to go at the moment? To avoid conflicts? Because I insist he takes part in the agreed financial share of our life together. A tiny amount compared what he (says he) earns.
:( oh
Are You Listening, Andrew?
Sam please do a video on how to remove or deal with sadistic introject xx
Your voice and videos bring me comfort even though the truths are hard to hear. I know I’m getting straightforward truth when you speak. No games.
Thank you for your work.
Oh my gosh you just described my 53 years of life!
Theres a verse in a song by Skid Row (Wasted Time)
"Can you feel me inside your heart as its bleeding,
Why can't you believe you can't be loved"
"You scream in agony
And the horse stampedes and rages in the name of desperation"
....spot on?
Oh today I was bad scapegot object to my mother and her brother 😆
The study of happiness has increased over the years. Happiness is intertwined with subjective well-being and wellness. Both require being highly proactive and deliberate with your life. And you must love yourself (in healthy ethical ways) to be successful at it.
A few thousand years ago, happiness happened when you murdered the children of your enemies.
Psalm 137 verse 9.
As you said:
The study of happiness has increased over the years.
😐
Being 50 and alone for most of my life tells me I'm unlovable. Being rejected so many times by women tells me I'm unlovable
Can you please comment on how to know whether the ‘I’m bad’ belief comes from a narcissistic parent’s projection or whether I am the narcissist.
Does the introject die when mommy dies
No.
@@samvaknin damn
@@theuncanspan makes sense
Where can I find your instructions for no contact? I’m struggling to keep no contact.
Search the channel.
Nice hair-cut, professor)
what a shock to see this in me
BABY SEAL!
So what you're saying is I'm screwed. Even seeking out therapy is a sort of self-victimization
6:11 listen to this a thousand times