THE 6 STAGES OF CAREGIVING (Interview with Dr. Koepp)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 มี.ค. 2021
- Welcome to the place where I share dementia tips, strategies, and information for family members caring for a loved one with any type of dementia (such as Alzheimer's disease, Lewy Body dementia, vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia, etc.)
Hey there Careblazer! Today I talk to Dr. Regina Koepp about the 6 stages of caregiving and what the goal is within each of these stages. My challenge to you in this video is to watch and see which stage of caregiving you fall in at this moment. You can always come back to this video in the future as you move through the different stages.
If you are new around here, WELCOME! This is Careblazers TV, the place where we talk about everything dementia. If you are caring for a loved one with any type of dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease, Lewy Body Dementia, or vascular dementia, then this is the place for you! I post a video every Sunday on the topic of dementia caregiving.
Learn more about Dr. Regina Koepp and what she offers at www.drreginakoepp.com
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The 6 stages of family caregiving was inspired by:
-Denise Brown's 6 Stages of Caregiving of the Caregiving Years Training Academy
-Sara Quall's Caregiver Family Therapy: Qualls, S. H. & Williams, A. A. (2013). Caregiver Family Therapy: Empowering Families to Meet the Challenges of Aging . Washington, D. C.: American Psychological Association
-Dr. Regina Koepp's near 20 years of providing family therapy to older families and as lead of a family couples therapy clinic for several years.
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OTHER VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO:
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In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacare
![[Ep: 5] Caring for a husband with dementia that doesn't recognize you](/img/n.gif)
Thank you for breaking it down in stages. Life has thrown us into this role that we've not prepared for. It is heartbreaking, confusing and exhausting.💔😳😪
I am 100 percent with you in this! May God bless and strengthen you
You’re not alone in this journey, Maria. Big hugs to you. 🤗💛
Yes it certainly is.
Absolutely
I cried when you talked about the ambiguous stage of not understanding where the personality ends and the dementia starts. I lived in confusion and frustration for so long. I wish I had come across this video 2 years ago.
I am sobbing watching this... I need to find a way to help my husband who is the careblazer for his ill mom. The grieving stage is at every stage for some of us. How do we mitigate the overwhelming hopelessness that paralyses some of us so that we can still "live" with what feels like a tragedy. We are both drowning with the weight of parenting our children and our careers, our spousal relationship and now the caregiving responsibilities. There is no time for anything else!
Caregiving is an exhausting, time consuming, and thankless job, especially when the one your caring for has dementia and can’t even remember that you just visited day before and guilts you that they are lonely and expects you to fill that role. When visiting it’s depressing with no gratitude so what’s the point? To let that lonely person trample all over you? That’s our situation anyhow.
That’s why you need an extensive support system that knows and understands. Clearly
To me the most important thing to remember when caring for someone who has been diagnosed with dementia is to realize that while relating to them I am not going to be always right compared to their way of doing things and concerning their needs from day to day. If I can accomodate that need which comes up how important is it to insist on doing things rote like the same as it has always been done so far as I can see? If I the care giver in the second stage of helping don't do that then I could be instead of helping them at all be holding them back from recovering from a set of physical healing processes only because we are not encouraging their independence as an adult. Demenita unless it is in the last few stages cannot be determined for sure during the first 2 stages of the disease unless it is determined for sure during an autopsy after their death which often happens because of an injury and during an emergency surgery required. A good sign is when the patient decides on their own they need help like DATS in the winter instead of their doctor prescribing it for them. For sure when a person is in the 6th stage of suffering from dementia it is very hard and requires a lot of resources to hire professional care givers to come in and help use a chair lift and/or administer oxygen sometimes which some families cannot afford to do at all. Seeing my mother cry when only being able to open her eyes while she is not being able to speak at all while being that way now for almost 6 months now is so very hard. I do feel a void right now while planning to go back to school to take the program called Therapeutic Recreation in a community college to fill that void.
Thank you!! Advice on stages 5&6 is so hard to find anywhere. The support network disappears so abruptly if the focus was only on your spouse's needs. If not prepared, the recovery is not as successful. Incredibly helpful to plan ahead for the massive void now, or at least have an awareness so I can prioritize my life early and not completely fall apart. Ambiguous and complicated grief hits hard after diagnosis. I wept for 2 years not knowing why. Grief doesn't wait for death. Caregivers should be counselled at the beginning. I want to be aware and armed for future challenges early and videos like this help so much with that goal!! Again, thank you!!
Thank you so much for this video today! Mom has lived with me for 13 years now so I have experienced all stages. We now are in stage 6, full on. I also have 2 siblings although one would never know it. I also gave up my life to care for Mom and that goes unappreciated too. I feel a class in my future, thanks for the link.
So glad you found this helpful, Valori! 🙏🏽
Valori, I am sorry you feel alone in this journey. Caregiving is often a thankless job and it sounds like you do a wonderful job caring for your mom.
Valori. I am in same situation. And maybe stage 6. Would you elaborate ?
@Valori Johnsen if one of my siblings chose to become a caregiver to a loved one with dementia in their own home I probably wouldn't be much help to them. I don't want to be a caregiver to someone with dementia, not even a little bit.
@@origamiandcats6873 You are wise. It's been 2 years since my comment and I didn't know just how bad/worse it could get. I have been on and off anti-depressent meds, lost all friends and reality. Mom has arterial dementia which is not like the others. All of my furniture is destroyed and I am in need of a paint job. If I ever get diagnosed with this disease, I will put my self down. I have been trying to hold on till the end but I am ready to call out "uncle". You have a life...love it/live it!
Excellent topic. Its helpful to know what stage we are in and how to prepare for what’s next. Also to think about why I’m doing this. He’s my husband, I’ve loved him for a long time now but there has been unresolved conflict as well. It is a constant emotional roller coaster even with a wide base of support. Somewhere in all of this I feel like I’ve lost the core of who I am. Hopefully by the 6 th stage I will be able to rebuild that.
Doctors the BOTH of you are truly doing GOD'S work. Perfect example of Angels on Earth 😇 💗🌍.......This video was SO INFORMATIVE!!! I can honestly say I had a FREE therapy session as well. As I found myself crying during certain parts in the video that truly resonated with my life. As I am too a careblazer for my mom for 10 years come this New Year of 2023. Thank you for breaking it down in Stages for us. I'm Stage 3 now. I would like to add that I'm having Complicated Grief fusion too in Stage 3, when you have to make all those adjustable decisions to keep them Safe. Mom was an Excellent cook! Can no longer do her every day ritual, making her cup of coffee & fried eggs & bacon with toast. That was a HUGE milestone for her to relinquish Control. That was the ONE THING she could do successfully. So when that declined my mom looked at me as, public enemy number one. Im constantly trying to make her SPIRITS happy when she looks depressed. You feel guilty about laughing & enjoying your own life at times. Is that NORMAL? My Mom is my Rock, "Ride or Die" & who made me the woman I am. I treat her like a Queen. I also watched her take care of her parents to their last day on Earth. My children are getting an example by default because I do it because of LOVE. There is no way I can do what I do IF I didn't truly love my Mom. I can be honest with myself. Care givers y'all know. This is NOT for the weak! This takes a type of patience that you don't even give to your children. You give her parent that you Love so much Grace. It just comes naturally. When you are caring for someone who can't do IT on their own, like a child AND that is where people get it CONFUSED. Thank you for addressing that too! I learned so much. So when I tell you THIS VIDEO HIT DIFFERENT!! So spot on Doctors!! Thank you for All that y'all do for US, the " Thankless Heroes". I truly had therapy because I felt like Natali was talking to me! I NEEDED to HEAR those words of encouragement 🙏 😇 I can't stop Crying. I can't say enough about how much this HELPED ME! ❤️
I can see how I’ve moved from stage two to three and now moving into stage four. It is hard but with support and self are you can make it. We have made financial decisions to make the transition easier at the end. I have found making a plan takes some stress away. Incontinence has been the hardest as a wife of 73. I do what I would want someone to do for me. Thank you for this presentation.
This really clarified my thinking about my role as daughter/ caregiver, for my 86 yr old dad.
He has been diagnosed with 3 types of dementia, the latest vascular dementia due to an ischemic stroke in July.
Fortunately he doesn’t have any physical deficits from it, but sad to say the brain cell death that occurred has certainly speeded up his dementia 😔.
He started really requiring more assistance with cooking, deeper housecleaning, grocery shopping , handling his rental business and bills about 3 1/2 years ago.
Had to take driving privileges away 2 yrs ago😢.
He has lost his memories of the last 40 years or so. He can describe in vivid detail his life from 6-20.
Every day now is like the movie FIFTY FIRST DATES.
We relive all the sadness and fear of his childhood.
I am going to write a little book about the highlights of his life .so that instead of me having to tell him his life story over and over daily he can just read it😏.
Thank goodness for garden season , both flowers and vegetable gardens, he will have plenty to keep him busy!!!
It is also a project we work on together and I will always cherish these memories.
Thank you for this very informative interview 👏👏👏
So much I can relate to. I am in stage 3. So many challenges that change from day to day. I feel so lucky when I get a few days in a row that has no drama. Agree that it's not the same as caring for children, but it is a definite and complete role reversal as when the recipient was the parent.
"Steward Role". And, the "Anticipatory Grief", is overwhelming some days. Your presentation was EXCELLENT. I identified w/the stages, so well. Thank you.
Listening to you, seems like you were talking directly to me. I'm so glad I tuned in, you helped me understand the grieving stage. I know that they're so many going through this. Cared for my husband for seven years with this horrible declining disease. Thank you
Hello Nelda, we are happy to hear that Dr. Natali's content has been helpful in your caregiving journey!
Iam at stage one been caring for my uncle for 8 yrs. Now we have an amazing relationship he’s like my brother. He trust me 100 percent I care for him due to his mental illness so now Iam dealing with demita and I can’t tell where his mental illness is and the demita kicks in he’s like 3 different people. I never know who Iam going to get from day to day it can be scary. This is a great help 🙏
Two years ago I buried my mom after 11 long long years of Parkinson’s she was 102. I am almost sure that I have the beginnings of dementia as I fall a lot and get brain fog and forget things. I left my handbag somewhere and other things. I forget doctors appointments but I have no diagnosis but have signed an enduring power of attorney which I have discussed with my kids and I have put them in charge partially of my medical and Fiancial life. I live alone and none of them have guest rooms in their homes so when the time comes I will get a paid carer to look after me. My kids all work and I don’t want them to have to look after me. I have made a will and am giving away some precious things when they ask for them. Not easy 😢 but G-d decides our fate and I hope I won’t live to 102 like my mom.
Thank you so much for this. I am preparing for this role in my personal life (currently at the ambiguous stage) and this has given me so much clarity about how to move forward in the best way we possibly can. My other main take away is about the fear and stigma surrounding dementia, physical differences and mental health issues in general. It's sad when people abandon a friend or the carer when they no longer see them as 'useful' to them for their own purposes...but I guess that's when we find out who our true allies really are. I sacrificed my job for my carer role (or, really, I was seen to be less productive than normal, so they were trying to push me out and the additional stress meant I knew I needed to quit). It's brutal but often a reality for carers. Not something I agree with, but the harsh reality of this world.
yes!! i cared for my Father for over 30 years he was not a good Dad to me it was an opportunity to show him God’s love it was hard I am glad i did all I could. it was a journey my. 2 out of 3 siblings really missed out.
Bless both of you ladies. I can't tell you how grateful I am to get some perspective on where I am as a caregiver and where I'm headed. Thank you thank you thank you!
Timeless information! So grateful to these two dedicated doctors for sharing their knowledge with us so we can be better prepared in our 'careblazer' role!
I was a long term foster child and my F Mother is at stage 2-3 dementia. I was severely traumatised so I didn’t fill the expectations that my F Mother needed and after 2 yrs she wanted me to go back into a children’s home but my Dad didn)t. I stayed with my brother fFamily which I loved but I did miss them. As an adult she used ask me not to come home for Christmas/My Birthday etc her Mum had dementia and did alternate Christmas’.. Her Mum used to say v cruel things to me….always when my parents weren’t around which made me doubt her intentions. “where’s your Mother” “in the kitchen” “She’s not ur Mother, your Mother is dead” and also “I had had an early miscarriage but never told my family and yet she kept saying to me “Your baby’s dead isn’t he”…..etc so never in front of my parents which made me think she did have control.
Now my fMother has stage2-3 dementia and I call every day. I am severely disabled and it takes 3 trains to get to her and she cries and wants me home and now loves me and wants me with her.This changed happened when my Dad died…she had been v jealous of my relationship with him but never offered much to develop my r/s with her and was often v unkind to me etc.
I had weighted 45 yrs for her to love me and my Dad had asked me to care for her and I said I would unless she became abusive and hurtful. She is now funny, lighthearted and follows me everywhere and she can’t wait for me to wake up and often at 7 ish I find her by my bed talking to the dog about whether or not I will wake up soon and when I go to the loo at night trying to be semi asleep she is outside the bathroom door with the dog and comes into my bedroom and our night time chats are so funny and she strocks my forehead when I tell her it is 2am and I need to go back to sleep….so sweet….the dog sleeps on her bed and when she sees me get up wags her tail in Mum’s fave which wakes her up…it v comical and she follows me everywhere. And the dog follows
her and if I stop to do something she bumps into me and the dog into her…you could make a sit come.
I have chosen to not punish her about the past but to enjoy this new freer person she has become and souk up the love and affection that I had always prayed for from her….my cousins are power of attorney and are care for her well but that has been difficult at times and I am not part of decisions made and they are family. And I am not atmosphere…..it is hard to care for someone who had been quite cruel at times, v passive aggressive towards me but so far we are doing well except I am moving, so much to deal with I can’t get to visit for a while and she tells me that she is dying…."?
Always appreciate your help.. jotted down the stages. My husband is who I care for, we are at stage 3. I looked for help and found you and really have learned a lot. Thank you. The Lord is good to us because we have had many good days. I’ve journaled many precious moments. I’ll have them 💝
Elaine, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Journaling is such a great tool.
I love the idea of writing down the good moments! I am glad you are finding the videos helpful.
I work in a memory care facility I struggle with being the steward. I know that it's coming but when we have real warning it's hard my first lost I had been with the Facility maybe 3 months at an Uncle Nancy's now I actually was really close with this resonant and my schedule was super chaotic at the time So I missed essentially a whole week you know with the way they hadn't just got the bottom off and I came in and I asked her roommate where she was because her name wasn't on the door anymore and her Roommate didn't know who I was talking about I should know better I would 3rd shift. She just you know none shall not be told me and she passed last week I don't like what why weren't we notified and I spent 3 hours crying the 2nd one didn't hit me as bad he was likeHad a temper and we've gone told a total a few times because he didn't like what was going on or whatever and I actually knew he was gonna pass he went on A day I wasn't thereI'm at the 3rd one I was really close to 2 but i had a chance to sit with her night careGibber and talk to her and she was able to reassure me and I was allowed to keep one of her smallest stuffed animals. Because I was struggling with her passing. The only one that had there family at their side was the second one.
The concept of the caregiving within the history of the complete complex family is HUGE! I have wondered how the struggles from before the caregiver roles begin are impacting the template of the caregiver roles. Betrayals, estrangements, unresolved family dynamics are have a huge impact on my journey. Thank you for this amazing video!
These struggles are so common. Please know that you are not alone with these struggles, Lynyl.
Family dynamics can be so complex and really do play a large role in the caregiving process. I'm glad you found the video helpful in seeing how your family history is impacting your journey.
This interview was very helpful (as is every video you provide to us) in this journey of ours....now in my 3rd year of this I am either 'learning' many new things about what this journey involves and/or now 'understanding' some of the issues that I have already encountered & certainly have a much better appreciation for this journey that God has planned for me. What a tremendous resource, service, and "gift" you have given to us. Thank you so much
Thank you so much for this video. It validates the difficulties of caregiving while giving a roadmap for navigating through each stage. And what was said at the end brought me to tears because few people understand how hard living with dementia is and the individual sacrifice of the caregiver, least of all the care recipient. So thank you very much. Great video!
Right on !!!
I am looking after a spouse and it is getting hard. Thankyou for your encouragement.
Thank you so much! Entering Stage 3…. Reaching out and getting support from family and friends has been a new experience and taken a huge burden off my shoulders. God bless you ladies for your information and uplifting words of encouragement 💕
Realy sooo much... so helpful and picking that straight jacket off our self !!! Thank you.
Hello, I subscribed a while back because my sister had dementia, gosh, I've learned a lot! Now my husband has late stage cancer. Tonight, while listening to you & doctor Koepp, I substituted the word cancer in place of dementia. words do not come to thank you both. I am the lighthouse in the storm.
Thanks for sharing your story, Linda. You are right to replace the illness. The stages still apply. Big hugs to you.
Linda, I think you have highlighted such a great point. We focus on dementia but the caregiving role is not only something we assume with dementia. There are many other circumstances in which we are asked to become caregivers. I appreciate you sharing this with us!
This was a helpful video. A constant frustration for me is that there is a lot of emphasis on taking care if the aging parent. For good reason.. this is a typical situation. There is not a lot if talk about taking care of a spouse. Thats a very different dynamic.
Agreed. My hubby gets so angry about our current dynamic. No one sees how scary this is or how exhausted I am. I just lost the aide who was a great help 4 hrs a day 4 days per week. I am now again trying to find some help. Best wishes to you.
Hello and thank you so much Dr.Natali and Dr. Koepp for sharing this information today. I always feel empowered after viewing your videos as l carry on with my role of careblazer for my 90 year old mom. Gracias🌻🌻🌻
Love your sense of empowerment, Marta. 🙏🏽
Cared for my handi capped son for 35 years. Now my husband with stroke and dementia. Son was much easier
I always hear people talk about these very clear things that happen or should happen when someone is diagnosed with dementia. In my case, my mom was given the one page cognition test and brief verbal test in a primary care dr. office which she failed. That doctor didn't talk to her or me about dementia or even the results of the test. I just knew she failed because I was at that appt with her and watched her take it. From then on, no one recommended we see any other sort of dr. they never talked to me about dementia or helped us "get clear" on what was happening. She was never referred for more tests. I believe at that time she was in her late 80s. As a "caregiver" there's no way to know what's supposed to happen or what we are supposed to be doing or asking at that stage. It's like a snowball that is slowly or quickly gathering more snow and there's no instruction manual. We just figured, she's getting old, this is our life now. Was this outcome unusual? Should the dr have offered more info? Was it me that needed to magically know what questions to ask? I just have always felt like no matter how many times she saw her primary doctors and/or cardiologist, no one ever talked about the dementia. Even if I pointed it out. She's 95 now, and I'm completely overwhelmed and still no doctors ever talk about her dementia even though I'm at every single appt with her. I just don't get it.
This is exactly what I'm working towards right now...I can't believe you posted this lol! Thank You 💐💐 My last care position and recovering from it...Finally brought to this yearning for freedom ♥️
Finally a video that explains everything I'm going through. In the beginning I was so confused. Example, how much help should I provide, hoe independent can someone be when they are not safe and falling consistently? Am I stepping in too much trying to keep them safe? Ummm...
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much!!! Great information. I’m doing this for the third time and each one has been different.
Each journey really is unique and the fact that you are still reaching out to learn more in this process is amazing!
Hi Dr.Natalie,
Thank you for another very helpful video!
I have appreciated your videos so much especially at beginning of my journey w my mom with dementia.
There is a lot to know and learn.
Building a working support system key as well as undertaking the difficult task of caregiver! 👏
Thanks again,🙏Rayne
You are so welcome!
Thanks Dr. Natalie and Dr. Koepp for bringing clarity to caregiving. Seeing the stages helped me see where I have been and where I now am in our journey. I was feeling conflicted in my ambivalence and being harsh with myself for feeling that way. It is good to understand that ambivalence is part of the process. Again thanks, so glad for Covid and the opportunity it gave me to explore TH-cam and find you!
Won’t hear many reasons to be thankful for Covid! These Dr Natali TH-cam videos are your Covid rainbow 🌈 ❣️
I’m delighted to hear that this information was helpful to you, Margaret 🙏🏽❤️
These videos have been very helpful. I am just beginning the 3rd stage of caregiving for my mom. I have recently moved in with her and all this information is appreciated.
Thanks 😊 to both of you for the wonderful video. I have been trying the last 6/7 months to help mum, she's not yet diagnosed though shows signs of vascular dementia from high blood pressure that she's had for fifty years. I think we are in stage 2, ambiguous is the word for it totally confusing for mum and myself. Thanks for the heads up on what's ahead. I shed a year watching this as I could really relate with what you ladies were saying. Thankyou for your compassion and understanding. PS, I be reached out for councelling for myself so as to be strong for ma. Xxxx big hugs daily everyone.
Thank you!! This video described my life. Finally, thank you! I thought no one understood the unique family dynamics that can complicate everything. Thank you! I know I will view this several times. Thank you! ♥️🌞
Thank you!
I definitely agree it is not the same as caring for a child! For one she can't control her behavior in the way you can train a child to do. In fact, I used things my mom did as MY training! I know what she likes to eat, when and how she even likes to clean up. I repeat those same behaviors, such as putting the leftover food from plates into the newspaper bag before throwing it away. I figure this is so important to her, since she always did it. It might sound silly but I don't think it is!
I've got NO support circle, because they all died! Mom is 99. Her friends didn't make it. My friends are scattered and busy with their own lives. (Not near here.)
Amazing guide thank you
This is such good information. Thank you!
This model is so well thought and can easily be adapted to families and nurses, etc. I felt that my experience as a caregiver fit perfectly within Dr Koepps’ model. Thanks to you both for sharing this awesome care perspective with us!!
I’m so glad you found this helpful! 🙏🏽
This thinking could have helped me when I began as a caregiver for my DW, I tried to understand the changes that were happening in our relationship and how much was dementia and how much was always there. Without knowing the former I could not understand what was changing. I will listen more. Thanks Dr. Natali for sharing this with us.
So glad this was helpful to you.
David, this is great insight. I am glad this is helping you think more about what is factoring into your relationship. You sound like a wonderful caregiver.
This has been really helpful Ty so much your videos have helped me so much.
Thank you for this interview! Such helpful information and validation for our feelings as we navigate this difficult journey. I'm in the steward stage of caregiving. 💟
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you both!!
Re: mistaken comparison of caring for children. I'd add most people choose to & expect to have children + it is mapped out + lots of society is geared to nurturing, entertaining & appealing to children. Instead dementia is feared & people avoid thinking about it if possible. It's not a choice & the caregiver would have to be someone who actively seeks knowledge. I bet a lot of people struggle through each challenge without thinking where they could learn from experts. Anyone who finds this great Careblazers channel is getting a huge boost & outlet, thank you both doctors for your beautiful presentation
Thank you both for this video: you are two angels for me.
This presentation was so helpful for my family. Although I have a professional background in providing mental health care, I am greatly enlightened by this Careblazers channel and this wonderful interview! Presently, I am caring for my spouse with fronto temporal dementia and at times, helping my siblings care for my Mother, who suffers from Altzheimer's/type 2 Diabetes dementia.
Thank you. This video is amazing! I will use your advice in future communications with my Dad.
Stay Blessed🤗❤️
Thank you for your videos. So helpful and comforting throughout the dementia caregiving journey.
Thank you! This is all new to me!
Glad it was helpful!
As always great information, thank you. I would argue that we start grieving immediately, I know I did.
You are so right, Virginia. There’s grief all throughout the journey - from diagnosis of a life altering condition until after death.
I absolutely agree.
For me the grief started pre-diagnosis, when her behavior change was unmistakable. Then began the scary road of confirming all my worst fears.
Great information! It is so helpful to be able to stay one step ahead during the process of caregiving.
One step ahead! Great idea, Harry.
Thank you for this video. I'm struggling emotionally in my current "steward" phase of caregiving.
Thank you for all the info mu am a caregiver 🙏🏻😇
Thank you so very much to both you experienced & beautiful hearted ladies. You have put me in good stead as to on how to approach each stage with more awareness.
Wonderful!
This is a great exchange 👏
Good vital info!!!
Glad it was helpful!
Lots of Great information and ideas! Mahalo nui! sharing
This interview was AMAZING! The pie chart idea is a big WOW!
In combination with my CareBlazers course this information is revolutionary!!
I’m delighted to hear that the stages of caregiving and the pie chart were helpful. Much love to you and your family! ❤️
Can you address careblazing when the elder parent is caring for their adult child with early onset of dementia/ MCI? It’s a whole different dynamic because as a senior, taking on this role at this stage in life is very difficult. Just when I thought life was settling in my golden years and I could relax, I’m now faced with more than I had to manage when I worked full time. Thank you so much.
I don't know how I miss this but praise the Lord Jesus that this was placed in front of me today because really this has been my complaint for the last 6 weeks actually longer but 6 weeks since my mom had another small stroke I'm 6 minutes into the video and I'm listening to the checklist and I'm saying yes yes yes yes and that's what I've been saying is the treatment I'm receiving kind of mirrors the way I was always treated just amplified a 100. Thank you for making this video thank you for connecting with like issues for us I just think both of you so much and the Holy Spirit for bringing this to my plate today. I feel better I can at least salvage to the next 8 hours and make it a better day:))
I am so glad you found this helpful!
THANK YOU ! I was just wondering if anyone had info on this !
Ahhhhhh, I'm in stage 2! I've been getting as much information as possible. She is resisting getting the dementia test (even though it runs in her family and her older sister even has it) because she said she's decided she's never going to "lost it" lol omg what do i do?
I've worked with dementia clients/residents for over 10 years now. I am moving in to become an in home care giver full time for a dementia client and to be 100% honest...I'm scared. More anxious and nervous about making her comfortable with me, so thank you so much for these♥️🌹
Hi Holly We are so glad you are here as part of this community. Wishing you all the best on your caregiving journey. 💖
Having someone else be executor gives one rest and time to reflect and heal
Thank you, great video! I'm stage 4.......
I really appreciate you both giving us a role on caregiver because of the COVID-19 is very Hurt to get help thx you
Fascinating and helpful explanations of the stages. There was a brief mention of another 6 Stages. I am familiar with Denise M. Brown, The Caregiving Years: 6 Stages to a Meaningful Journey, which is full of practical information and focuses on the journey of the caregiver, solutions to situations, coping strategies, resources and much more. Very Beneficial.
Denise Brown will be on my channel in a few weeks :)
I am a caregiver to two who are trying to live together in their home and I see them daily and watch them via home camera. I am the only local family member and it’s a huge responsibility plus trying to keep working. One family member drops in on occasion and disrupts the routine. I tried to explain how I give them pills and she refused to let me finish telling her. I am afraid if something happens to me there would be no support for my Dad and his wife.
to show Jesus love by serving others
I’ve been through all these phases 2 times and am starting a third. What I learned that each phase can greatly differ depending on circumstances. But if I had this knowledge before I Croft handled myself much better.
Thanks for sharing your story, James. This is a long road, you're not alone. There are many times I look back on work with my patients and think that I could've handled things differently, too. It's parr for the course.
I so needed to hear this! I was wondering if the links to Dr. Koepp could be added in the description. Thank you Natalie!🥰
Hello! I am so glad you found this information helpful! Here is the link to Dr. Koepp: www.drreginakoepp.com
Interesting....I'd say stage 4 with my mom now, a month ago moved her to skilled nursing with delusions and hallucinations after increasing contact over the years up through living with her the last few months. (later stage Alz and recently late stage cancer). After moving her to skilled nursing, in one of her lucid moments, she said something to the effect that I'd done a good job since we switched jobs. Speaking I assume to I am now the parent and she is the child. While not a perfect analogy, it's valid to a point. Most recently she scolds me for something every day when I visit, which is hard, though not completely out of character. When she heard the terminal cancer diagnosis, she said 'I'm 88 years old, I've lived a good life, I just want to have some fun before I die' which was a quite lucid moment for her at the time. My role is to make that happen as best I can. I try to take care of myself, as those in my circle of support regularly remind me, but I tend to micro focus.... LOL. Thanks for your vids, I've found them helpful through this ongoing process.
Stay strong !
I agree comparing adults with dementia to caring for children it totally off and wrong. With children everyone & Dr's tell you that a bad behavior or physical limitations are temporary they'll grow out of it. You know it will get better there is hope it's going to get better. With dementia All we've hear is " it's only going to get worse. " and on a very bad day that rings over and over in your head. It is not only terrifying it can be utterly devastatingly depressing. I think anyone caring for someone w dementia should get free therapy. If nothing else but to just vent. Because NO ONE wants to hear about the bad days. And the people who do listen want to help by doing something and sometimes make it worse without realizing it. And on the days where it's easy, peaceful it's also sad, because his mind isn't working at all. The quilt over wanting the quieter peaceful days is bad to.
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None of this is funny so I don’t know why the guest is laughing 50% of the time. Makes it hard for me to continue listening but I will try.
Love you Dr Natalie!
Hello all ~ I am a new subscriber and caregiver for my husband. Would love to get on a mailing list for more materials as this channel is fantastic. Thank you so much 🙏🙏
Hi Anne! I am glad you found us! You can get on the mailing list and get a copy of the Careblazer Survival Guide here: careblazers.ck.page/9486d30773
My father was diagnosed very early in the progression with Alzheimer’s. He is physically well for 99 and has only mildly concerning behaviors. The frustration for my brother and me is our mother. She was catapulted into stage 3 without going through 1and 2. She insists on quizzing Dad, when he gets annoyed, answers ‘Yehudi’ which makes her angry. She is also stuck in the ‘he can control (that) if he wanted to, he did it yesterday’. She rejects all suggestions, help, instructional articles/videos. She always knows better. They live independently with paid caregivers and neither of us are in the local area. She has issues with mobility, hearing and sight but ok mentally for 92. Any suggestions for dealing with a family member who is not appropriate dealing with LOWD?
Without much alone time, can we get the stages in written form? We are about a year into dementia ‘diagnosis’ and ALL of your videos have been and are so very helpful! Especially the Care Course,
Here you go: www.drreginakoepp.com/blog/the-6-stages-of-caregiving-along-the-caregiver-s-journey
I am stage 3.5 for my wife and mother-in-law. Fronto tempo dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Thank you for all your information what stage is my mom she doesn’t know who I am
Are you able to do a video about lack of intimacy for the carer and the carer finding a friendship with intimacy while their partner is still alive. I know this will be a touchy subject but it has to be happening more than it is being discussed. In particular FTD end stage. Thanks
The executor of will role situation is with me and my sister who has no interest in the caregiver part.
I'm so sorry. This is hard work. I'm caring for my husband who has Parkinson's and is now coming into dementia. Not so much memory loss, but other traits. 😢
Can we talk about how these rolls are or will be if your an in-law. It's so difficult and frustrating.
If I had to, especially to take the weight off, I would do it 24/7. Just to give everyone a reprieve now and then.
I have multiple sclerosis. My husband cares for me because I am in a wheelchair/scooter. He cooks does wash gives me a shower one day a week and meets my needs. I do all the shopping and try to provide some type of housecleaning through hiring of services. He is extremely burned out and has been very terse and hurtful and his comments of late my heart is hurting. I don’t know what to do can you help?
Yes
How do you explain when the demention happened from stroke over night without warning?
My mum is in hospital and will be kept in until home care is in place. How do I convince my mum she needs the help as she doesn’t cook anymore and needs help with self care and medication. She has been so independant in the past and still thinks she can manage and she believes she doesn’t need help. Can you help please, how do we convince her to accept the help?
Can you make this accessible by adding captions please?
Thx u u here
I’m in stage 4, maybe going into stage 5. I’m caring for a spouse with PDD plus other co-morbidities. He has no family and I am the sole caregiver. Very difficult. Huge weight on my shoulders. I am able to have help from nursing aides for part of the day and for nights. I don’t know how I would have survived without their help. Even now, I don’t know how much longer I can do it without collapsing myself.
Silvia, It is amazing that you are caring for your spouse. It is good that you are staying in tune with yourself and recognizing where you are at in your emotional and physical abilities. I wish you all the best as you navigate this process moving forward.
@@DementiaCareblazers Thank you. I’ve found your channel not long ago and it has been of great help to me.
I see I just moved to next stage!
How do you find the time to include self help? What happens when there is no close family for a support system?
Hi Shannon, This is a great question! I have actually done a few videos on this topic that you may find helpful:
Self-care:
th-cam.com/video/IeZpxDdswE4/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/gaPtUjReWRY/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/viuisKo5WR0/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/Gn0EE9GufpQ/w-d-xo.html
I also have several other videos on this topic if you go to my channel
Sending love!
I am so unsure about this. Does your love one see objects like bugs kids and animals.