I consciously try not to engage in idle chatter. Even perfunctory chit chat turns me off. Sometimes people get uncomfortable with silence. That can affect other people’s peace/state of mind. I need to be alone after being around gossipy/overly chatty people simply to recharge my mental battery. Excellent tools and tips, Nick! Grateful🙏
How Nice a place would this world be if All the people could Speak/ Think like you Respected Ven Nick . Living in city life one has to Experience/ Face / Tolerate Exactly all of the Above..
I have a co worker who likes to talk about what other employees do. I told him last weekend that whatever they do is their choice. That is gossip and I don't want to engage in it. Thank you Nick.
It would have better to embrace your coworker’s weaknesses with compassion and try to engange him in dialogue so that he may increase his awareness about the consequences of wrong speech. I suspect your approach only had one result: that he now also talks about you. And of course, it is unhelpful for your Ego to tell yourself you are more pure and morally developed than your coworker. He may have other qualities that is far beyond your own capability. Also: we need to remind ourselves that everyone we meet carries a heavy burden that is invisible to us. And so does your coworker. Better try to help him create awareness about how he can improve his behaviour and maybe help him share the weight of his burden? Then you also have found a friend and removed or reduce his bad habit. Gandhi says: Our aim is not to eliminate our opponents but the to eliminate the adversity between ourselves and our opponents. Deep mind, that.
I played this video twice because it’s my speech that’s not just landing me in trouble but also like you said causing a dent on my mind. My speech is harsh, false and accusatory at times and I would like to begin my talking less. Thank you for these wonderful reminders.
I identified my speech as a big problem in my life and relationships with people. I have quiet a loud voice, and people see my tone of voice as harsh or being angry a lot of the time. also, I have a nasty habit of talking too much and over people. This is a big problem for me that i am struggling with. So glad i found this video, would definitely be working on this aspect of my life from now on.
Always grateful for how you break down the teachings into something so digestible, thank you. For me, a lot of these types of speeches translate into the saying "sometimes things are better left unsaid" and I always try to practice that when I find false or divisive speech on the brink of slipping out. Much needed reminder
Thank you so much for teaching me to think before I say anything. My mom always told my siblings and I "if you cannot say a good word then don't say anything." Peace be with you.
It's good to have you back Ven. Nick! 🙂 This is probably one of the most important issues in our world today; the lack of thought, compassion and sincerity in the words we use. As you eluded to, words can be harmful to both ourselves and others. One of the things I discovered awhile ago that I find as a helpful reminder which supports your teaching on this subject is the 3 gates of speech, a quote attributed to the great Sufi mystic Rumi that goes like this: "Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates; Is it true?, Is it necessary?, Is it kind?" Such a simple thing that can save so much hurt. 🙏
Thinking about this...one could practice this in thoughts too, e.g. thoughts about self: is it true (or just stemming from negative beliefs about self, not reality)? Is it necessary? Is it kind?
I love your teaching on correct speech. It is a constant thing I find needs attention in my life. In Quaker meeting we call this integrity. I came across Quakers in my 30's. Living with honest simple plain speech made my heart feel much peace. I plan to listen again to this and abide. Blessings 🙌
I tend to over share simply as a way of attempting to truly connect with others. The "why are you sharing" is something I need to slow myself down and train my brain to think prior to telling others things. Another great video with new insights, thank you and have a great day!
I either talk a lot or not talk, there's no in-between. There are three scenarios where I tend to talk the most: 1.) When I'm trying to make people laugh 2.) When I'm happy and excited for something or happy and excited to see someone 3.) When I'm nervous
@@nickkeomahavong01 Thank you, Nick. I've found your TH-cam channel to be so helpful for me lately. I, like many other people, are very appreciative of your words of wisdom 🙏
I am exactly the same. I hate awkward silence so always feel the need to fill the gap and this is what I need to work on. I need to be happy with the silence, which is ironic as I love my own company and silence when at home.
I used yell at other drivers in the car all the time (road rage). It was obviously really negative and since I made a point to stop that, I've been less angry in general. Good information - thank you for sharing it.
I've been struggling with mental illness for as soon as being a child. And have had many traumas. Now, I'm healing form an episode of psychosis, in this psychosis I did things that I regret a lot now. I hurt people and hurt myself in ways I would never in a normal state of mind. I was meditating heavily before the episode, it has helped with moderating the pain. Now I am tormented by guilt and shame. I want to be free of this suffering.
Markus I'm sorry to hear of your suffering. I went through various traumas and had psychotic episodes in my 20s. Some people don't metabolise B12 in a regular way and so either taking a supplement under the tongue or through injections helps. Once I started taking B vitamin supplements the episodes got much better and then I had B12 injections and the psychotic symptoms completely went away. Sometimes in recent years I start getting 'sticky' thoughts or start getting paranoid I take under the tongue or a B12 injection and it sorts it straight out. Not had an episode for 15 years now. Over the last couple of years therapy is helping me to process through the earlier traumas and psychotic episodes. But I wouldn't be in such a good mental place as I am today without Buddhist teachings and practice and meditation. John Ruskan's Emotional Clearing Process has also helped me massively, it's heavily based in Yoga and Meditation practices. Keep going with your meditation practice, I'm sure it's the best path to freedom. You've got this 🙌🏼
Your point on how we speak "however, whenever, and to whoever" we want to is exactly why I keep my distance from specific family members. I must protect my health.
I was waiting for more than 3 weeks for the next video and am so delighted to hear your kind wisdom after such a long wait! The tools are really helpful. Specially the point where you said to ponder as to why we are sharing this ! I am definitely applying these tools to bring more peace to my mind and work on myself. Thank you for helping us into becoming better persons 🙏
Yes, very helpful!!! Thank you very much for all your insight!!Blessings to you!! I quit phoning, or receiving calls from people who jump right into their talk, nonstop....without asking is this a good time?? Monopolizing conversation....I only listen... (ret nurse, i do active listening very well) ...i will make sure they are well, and sometimes respond with texting. I quit following people who are crass and flippant... Thank you again!! I am listening and sending out what u share!!
Well & detailed explaination venerable. Currently working on talking less with self. Only necessary self talk. Sometimes I hang board around my neck mentioning "In silence" & sometimes on my bed room door I hang board "In silence" So that people around me dont disturb me & they will not misunderstand me when I don't talk that time. Silence refills energy in me. Lots of Metta to everyone.
Thank you for these messages. Someone once said to me, 'Those who gossip with you, gossip about you.' I tell the children I teach this too. I am always telling them to think of 3 gates their speech should go through before it gets out; is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? It's a long process but it's a start. ☺
Thank You Nick for such a helpful topic. I was particularly taken by " why we share". I hate gossip, as I see it as collateral and food to satiate the ego. Your content was very thought provoking and relevant. So glad to have you here again. Sadhu🌻
Whoever is guiding you in to these videos is doing a great job. Your videos seem to show to me exactly when I need them and with what I need most in that moment. When I'm watching your videos I feel like you're talking only to me because it feels like you already know what I'm going through. You have been a great support on my journey for two years now and for that I want to thank you and the entire line of masters.
Aww thank you so much for your beautiful message. I’m glad the videos resonates with you and keep on doing the work my friend 😊😊😊 please continue to keep us updated on your progress!
Thank you, Brother Nick 🙏😌 I have many issues but, thankfully, speech isn't one of them. I'm more of a listener, anyway. Your teachings will be taken to heart, as always. People close to me have some of the traits you speak of. It's difficult when it's family. We will continue to work towards a positive result. Be well. 🙏😌
Wow! Nick you are brilliant. I have actually cut off people who gossip, complain from my contacts!! This video to me just comfirms that i did the right thing. Thankyou so much, keep them videos rolling you are creating change in all of us who follow you and actualize your teachings.
Thank you for bringing together your life experiences and your studies to explain some very important teachings in a way that my western-raised brain can hear and really integrate. I feel very fortunate to have found your channel.
Thanks for the good humour in teaching us acceptance of our foibles. It helps us have more gentleness with our selves, that our flaws do not mean THE END.
Dear Nick Thank you so much for this EXCELLENT info and advice. Your warm and caring delivery makes it easy for us to embrace and apply what you're telling us 🦋
"The speech that we display makes an impact on our minds"- powerful statement. This includes self-speech, i.e., our thoughts. We may not consider it so, but that's speech as well.
I’m so glad to find the video, I was a little worried about you because of the time passed without your wisdom. Thanks so much for all your sharings, so helpful. I love to listen to you, you help me to be a better and happier person. Shado.
Hi Nick, thank you for this video❤️as everyone, I am "guilty" of some of the points you said. Now, my mind is filled with hate and rage, as my land is suffering so much due to war, that Russia is doing in my country. There is lots of hate and rage, and it is really hard to cope with these feelings. But your video is amazing reminder to try not to "host" this spreach and feelings. Otherwise I am very talkative. It is feature of my character. I live by my own, and in Corona time lack of communication was so bad for me, that if I would meet someone, I would be just talking, getting rid of all the words, that were unsaid by me :) I still figuring how to work on that. I am very communicative, and actually people do love chatting with me, it is just I know I talk too much...
My heart goes out to you and your country. Sending you so my blessings and please hang in there. This is a challenging time indeed so we just need to be mindful and do our best. I’m glad you’re aware of your experiences so that’s a big plus 😊😊😊 keep up the good work my friend! Please stay safe.
Hi Nick! Great advice as always. I've been turning to your videos ALOT lately. Life just keeps on happening, they say when it rains it pours....I feel like I'm in the middle of a hurricane recently, UGH. Times have gotten super tough for us and it's so hard to see any light at the end of this tunnel. One thing after another, and then another and repeat. SMH. I feel so defeated. 😔 Thank You For Remaining A Constant My Friend.
My issues in this area that I am working on are angry speech and swearing. I have noticed that I use the word hate (not about people), in my thoughts and words way too much! I'm getting better but, have a ways to go. Thank you so much Nick for the tools!!!
Thank you for the kind words of encouragement. I can't ever remember not being depressed, even as a child. I was in a very dark place when I started watching your videos. When you talked about the things you have gone through in your life and to see the man that you are today, is so inspiring to me. Listening to you totally changed something in me and I haven't felt any depression since that day. I write in the five journals most days and I feel like they are helping me. I'm so glad that I found your videos. I really appreciate all the hard work that you do to help others. You are such a wonderful person!!! Thank you so very much!!!
@@nickkeomahavong01 Thank you so much for the kind and encouraging words. My anger toward my husband is when I start using profanity. With the help of the journals you suggested in another video, I have recognized I need to let go of past hurts where my husband is concerned, instead of letting them continue to pile up. This in turn has helped me to realize I had been over reacting on several things currently in our relationship. Im learning how to leave the past in the past and not get so angry. You have given so much wonderful advice, and so much of it has helped me in several areas in my life. Problems I didn't think I would ever be able to solve. Thank you so very much!!!
Welcome back, Ven. Nick. Great to get a new video from you. It is a refresher course, actually, on the topic of speech. I recognized it from your book Buddhist Cleanse. All good information. Hope all is well with you. Donald Simons
Thank you for breaking down these essentials so clearly, and for creating this safe space for us to look at ourselves more mindfully. Much love from Spain 🕊
Reflection 11/9/23. Sick at home but still complete my meditation routine 🧘♂️ It is true that words can kill. I will try to be mindful to speak good and direct positive outcome. Thank you teacher.
Yes yes yes; our spoken words are powerful. It is very interesting what we do on autopilot... been actively trying to listen more and be more aware of the words I chose in my speech. Thank you Nick, your chosen words are appreciated and bring lots of clarity.
I truly believe Tool 3. Why are we sharing is one of the most important to understand. My grandmother always said she had three tests; is it true? Is it kind? Is it useful? If it fails any of the three, it's not worth being said.
You really got to stay connected now especially during times of crisis or chaos not to lose yourself unless you already trained it helps to go through any storm . Thank you❤ i only gossip about good things 😊
Need to improve Idle chatter, specially on phones and with my old parents. I have to talk a lot to engage them in new things so they do not feel old and lonely. I am really thankful to TH-cam creator. With the help of yt i have met you. You are a true teacher. Today you have picked very niche and important topic and taught us very well. You are also doing online generosity and helping many people .. ❤
Thank you so much for sharing these teachings! If I may, I would like to make a request, would it be possible to make a video about the other conducts of Buddhist ethics, in addition to the four verbal actions: the three bodily actions and the three mental actions? Again, thank you very much! I use your videos not only for my personal development, but also to introduce other people to Buddhist concepts.
Thank you Nick. May we all take these tools into consideration and stick with them ! Life would be much more pleasant ! Looking forward to the next video.
ever since i have been watching your videos like a week now everyday mutiples ones at once it has completely changed my whole perspective and mindset on why we clutter in the first place and the meaning behind why we act the way we act and behave the way we all humans do , the meaning of having addictive patterns and what caused those patterns to becomes a habit , im starting to change and fix up my bad toxic lifestyle and habits and i’ve decluttered almost everything out of my bedroom and life in general because i’ve realised i didn’t need items to show of or look cool or look like i was made of money or to attach to something because i was lonely or coping with internal trauma or depression/anxiety and ocd , i downgraded to just having what i need and being okay with being a simple person with just herself the only thing she owns is herself i been meditating everyday and my 2 note books that i own are full with all this chatter and words because now being a minimalist and owning nothing i’ve become a book worm and just want my days to be involved around books / note books and my phone and meditation and that’s all . i’m also moving out of my city to start a new lifestyle with a more calm quiet rural area so i don’t get sucked back into the city’s rushed chaotic lifestyle that’s always moving and full of people. i’m meant for a quiet life an introverted soul just me and my quiet mind at peace. thank you soo much if i could shave my hair i would also 😂, i’m living below my means now and living cheap and not trying to show or trying to spend loads of money on nice things because i was insecure and wanted to fit in with the rest of the world but truth is i don’t want to fit in i like being seen as boring or quiet or she barely talks i like being different and just liking who i am not trying to change myself to be liked or look normal . i love me and so should everyone on this comment section you are amazing god created you in unique way different to everyone else don’t be normal be unique be what the future needs and break the patterns and cycle of always wanting more more more . have less because having less means you have the world and nature eveything is around you that you need nature will fulfill you how often do we walk in nature and our minds feel at peace and not rushed or wanting to do everything at once . we feel renewed and just in the moment we should feel like that everyday do less give more be simple.
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing Jessica. I’m glad these videos are helpful. You’re doing great work. Please keep up with your meditation practice 😊😊
Appreciate this so much Nick. These tools are great plus I can come back to the video & breakdown all that happened in a negative conversation😇 My side of it plus theirs.
@@nickkeomahavong01 We've got to start somewhere with our talk both self talk & talk with other's. The foul language & the tone. It's not necessarily what we say but HOW we say it also. This video is much needed BCUZ it is step by step WITH the reflection possibility🥳 I love this & will celebrate it! ... often
Thank you for being here. You help so much with basics and sometimes reminders. For those who have slipped or fallen into these patterns it’s especially helpful and welcome. Thank you. Never thought I’d be here to need to hear this but it is very much so. Thank you.
@@nickkeomahavong01 All is well here in Northumberland Venerable Nick. It's just been a bit manic at home but all in a good way, just busy. It is so comforting to hearing your voice and listening to your wisdom. I do a journal now and again and write down every point I like to remember of the advice that you give us. Thank you so much and many many blessings🤗🙏
Hello , i enjoy your channel a lot. I think many people not only western background people enjoy and learn from this channel! Thank u for providing meaningful, bright, easy to catch advices. Even my country is Buddhist country, i sadly dont know the basic things about buddism. Actually there is no opportunity to learn about buddist way of thinking in daily life, people somehow dont talk specifically. I really really learn a lot from this channel and enjoy. It makes me calm and resetting my mind
The segment on teenagers and harsh speech so true. You remind me of something that my mother once said to me that was harsh. To this day, I have never forgotten it. So you are definitely on point.
I'm so glad that you posted a longer video. I really miss your video content although I'm sure that you have a good reason for not posting as regularly
thank you very much for this video Nick, I found myself pondering about this topic a few days ago so the timing of this video is immaculate! I found the notes at the end of the video particularly insightful into this topic
I tend to talk a bit too fast. Three reasons. One, I'm Scottish so we tend to talk a bit fast anyway and, two, I spent years where I would be talking and the person I was talking to would just walk away, mid conversation. Three, ADHD. However, I'm much better nowadays and I'm better at catching myself now. Living in East Asia does help as Asians generally have a bit more patience. Great to see you back Ven Nick!
I am so grateful to you for sharing important and useful ways to communicate. I find it hard to talk in a community of negative chat to engage and be present when people engage in negative things. Thanks for helping with this. 🙏🏽🤗🙏🏻☮️💕
Watching this video over and over to remind myself to reflect and work on the way I speak….it is such an important topic…and we tend to forget about that quite often….so thanks that we have your wonderful videos as a treasure and resource - I‘m learning so much from them 🙏 Regards and all my best wishes from Germany
I really really needed to hear this! What about how to deal with other people's lies and how to survive gossip and other people's divisive tactics? I din't realise it before but I think no 3 is standing out atm.
Wonderful! I’m glad it’s helpful. At the moment, don’t worry too much about what other people are doing. Just improve our habits first and everything will fall into its place 😊😊
This is SO helpful! This has been a real struggle in the workplace. I am going to post these 4 types on my cubby at work as a good reminder! Thank you!
Ven .Nick , thank you so much for this very wise and helpful teaching. I have two acquaintances who come my house uninvited separately and can talk literally for hours. I do not wish to be unkind but it so tiring and I find myself making up excuses to make them leave. So, thank you for helping me understand this problem.
Hi Nick! I am a faithful follower of your teaching. As a blind American I have taken great comfort and becoming a Buddhist. Your videos are essential for me because I can’t drive to a temple. I enjoy nearly every part of your videos with one exception. When there is no dialogue it would be great if you could have an audio description of what is happening. I don’t know if this is possible. It is very helpful for those of us who have little or no vision. Keep up the great work in spreading the teachings of the Buddha.
I find your teachings most helpful and enriching within my life. For many years Since my 20's I have practice mindfulness and meditation but sometimes I can forget to fully follow my basic philosophy. So when I read and sometimes re-read your teachings and come back and stay on my correct path. Thank You for your positive energy.
thank you very much Nick for sharing this important topic with us words can kill or bring life in people thank you for all your kind words psychotherapy shines through you 😊
All the principles of life, i.e. "Less is More, Small is Beautiful, & Simple is Best" are also applicable on our speech --- Less Speech, More Peace; Small Speech is Beautiful & Simple and Necessary Talk is Best.
Thank you for this video. Your recommendations of which types of speech to avoid also work well online. Each time I write a comment, I always try to read it carefully and thoughtfully before I hit "send".
Which type of speech do you need to currently improve on?
Speech altogether because I have Asperger's and when I make music it helps my voice sound more normal
I consciously try not to engage in idle chatter. Even perfunctory chit chat turns me off. Sometimes people get uncomfortable with silence. That can affect other people’s peace/state of mind.
I need to be alone after being around gossipy/overly chatty people simply to recharge my mental battery.
Excellent tools and tips, Nick!
Grateful🙏
Harsh speech. Onto myself as well as others. What wonderful wisdom you bring to this chaotic world Nick!
@@bryangandy6720 Me too. I love silence.
How Nice a place would this world be if All the people could Speak/ Think like you Respected Ven Nick . Living in city life one has to Experience/ Face / Tolerate Exactly all of the Above..
I have a co worker who likes to talk about what other employees do. I told him last weekend that whatever they do is their choice. That is gossip and I don't want to engage in it. Thank you Nick.
Wonderful Katrina! Well done with the boundaries 😊😊
It would have better to embrace your coworker’s weaknesses with compassion and try to engange him in dialogue so that he may increase his awareness about the consequences of wrong speech.
I suspect your approach only had one result: that he now also talks about you. And of course, it is unhelpful for your Ego to tell yourself you are more pure and morally developed than your coworker. He may have other qualities that is far beyond your own capability. Also: we need to remind ourselves that everyone we meet carries a heavy burden that is invisible to us. And so does your coworker. Better try to help him create awareness about how he can improve his behaviour and maybe help him share the weight of his burden? Then you also have found a friend and removed or reduce his bad habit. Gandhi says: Our aim is not to eliminate our opponents but the to eliminate the adversity between ourselves and our opponents. Deep mind, that.
@@Mr.Monta77Well said. Thank you.
I played this video twice because it’s my speech that’s not just landing me in trouble but also like you said causing a dent on my mind. My speech is harsh, false and accusatory at times and I would like to begin my talking less. Thank you for these wonderful reminders.
Wow!!! Beautiful. Thank you for being so honest… now just keep working on it mindfully. You got this! Please keep us updated on your progress 😊
@@nickkeomahavong01 Sure 🙏🏻
I identified my speech as a big problem in my life and relationships with people. I have quiet a loud voice, and people see my tone of voice as harsh or being angry a lot of the time. also, I have a nasty habit of talking too much and over people. This is a big problem for me that i am struggling with. So glad i found this video, would definitely be working on this aspect of my life from now on.
Wonderful my friend. I’m glad you’re able to recognize your patterns clearly and honestly. From here, you can start to make adjustments 😊😊
Namo Buddhaya 😊🙏🙏🙏
Sadhu sadhu 😊
Always grateful for how you break down the teachings into something so digestible, thank you. For me, a lot of these types of speeches translate into the saying "sometimes things are better left unsaid" and I always try to practice that when I find false or divisive speech on the brink of slipping out. Much needed reminder
Thank you so much Matt! And yes that’s a wonderful saying 😊😊
The bird and insect sounds and the peaceful room behind Ven. Nick is lovely.
Thank you so much 😊
It is always so nice listening Buddhist teachings in your calm and gentle voice. Thank you venerable Nick.
Thank you so much for teaching me to think before I say anything. My mom always told my siblings and I "if you cannot say a good word then don't say anything." Peace be with you.
Yeaaa I’m glad it’s helpful 😊
It's good to have you back Ven. Nick! 🙂 This is probably one of the most important issues in our world today; the lack of thought, compassion and sincerity in the words we use. As you eluded to, words can be harmful to both ourselves and others. One of the things I discovered awhile ago that I find as a helpful reminder which supports your teaching on this subject is the 3 gates of speech, a quote attributed to the great Sufi mystic Rumi that goes like this: "Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates; Is it true?, Is it necessary?, Is it kind?" Such a simple thing that can save so much hurt. 🙏
Oh that’s wonderful! Thank you for sharing 😊
This is quite striking. Thank you for sharing.
Thinking about this...one could practice this in thoughts too, e.g. thoughts about self: is it true (or just stemming from negative beliefs about self, not reality)? Is it necessary? Is it kind?
@@shippy365 Absolutely!
Morality (things to do, and what not to do), concentration, and wisdom is the path to peace.
Sadhu Sadhu :)
I love your teaching on correct speech. It is a constant thing I find needs attention in my life. In Quaker meeting we call this integrity. I came across Quakers in my 30's. Living with honest simple plain speech made my heart feel much peace. I plan to listen again to this and abide. Blessings 🙌
Wonderful my friend! I love the word integrity. It’s so important 😊
I tend to over share simply as a way of attempting to truly connect with others. The "why are you sharing" is something I need to slow myself down and train my brain to think prior to telling others things.
Another great video with new insights, thank you and have a great day!
Wonderful Angelica! I love your insight and honesty. This is great work that you are doing. Keep it up 😊😊
Doesn't that mean that that particular speech has a purpose, i.e., "attempting to truly connect with others"?
I either talk a lot or not talk, there's no in-between. There are three scenarios where I tend to talk the most:
1.) When I'm trying to make people laugh
2.) When I'm happy and excited for something or happy and excited to see someone
3.) When I'm nervous
Thank you so much for sharing Joel! I love the observation 😊😊
@@nickkeomahavong01 Thank you, Nick. I've found your TH-cam channel to be so helpful for me lately. I, like many other people, are very appreciative of your words of wisdom 🙏
I am exactly the same. I hate awkward silence so always feel the need to fill the gap and this is what I need to work on. I need to be happy with the silence, which is ironic as I love my own company and silence when at home.
I used yell at other drivers in the car all the time (road rage). It was obviously really negative and since I made a point to stop that, I've been less angry in general. Good information - thank you for sharing it.
Wonderful!!! I’m glad to hear that you have been able to improve this. It’s quite a big deal. Keep it up my friend 😊😊😊
I've been struggling with mental illness for as soon as being a child. And have had many traumas. Now, I'm healing form an episode of psychosis, in this psychosis I did things that I regret a lot now. I hurt people and hurt myself in ways I would never in a normal state of mind. I was meditating heavily before the episode, it has helped with moderating the pain. Now I am tormented by guilt and shame. I want to be free of this suffering.
No need to hold on to the past my friend. Just learn from them and cut it off. Make amends and start fresh 😊😊😊
Markus I'm sorry to hear of your suffering. I went through various traumas and had psychotic episodes in my 20s. Some people don't metabolise B12 in a regular way and so either taking a supplement under the tongue or through injections helps. Once I started taking B vitamin supplements the episodes got much better and then I had B12 injections and the psychotic symptoms completely went away. Sometimes in recent years I start getting 'sticky' thoughts or start getting paranoid I take under the tongue or a B12 injection and it sorts it straight out. Not had an episode for 15 years now. Over the last couple of years therapy is helping me to process through the earlier traumas and psychotic episodes. But I wouldn't be in such a good mental place as I am today without Buddhist teachings and practice and meditation. John Ruskan's Emotional Clearing Process has also helped me massively, it's heavily based in Yoga and Meditation practices. Keep going with your meditation practice, I'm sure it's the best path to freedom. You've got this 🙌🏼
I feel the same shame. I even had psychosis myself last year. You deserve all the love and happiness 💜
A Buddhist therapist? Perfect!
...be impeccable with your word... welcome back Nick.
Thank you so much Rick! I’m glad to be back 😊😊😊
Your point on how we speak "however, whenever, and to whoever" we want to is exactly why I keep my distance from specific family members. I must protect my health.
"some speech can actually taint the mind" ....very true Bhante...🙏
Thank you so much 😊
I was waiting for more than 3 weeks for the next video and am so delighted to hear your kind wisdom after such a long wait! The tools are really helpful. Specially the point where you said to ponder as to why we are sharing this ! I am definitely applying these tools to bring more peace to my mind and work on myself. Thank you for helping us into becoming better persons 🙏
Thank you so much madhurima! And thank you for your patience and support. There was definitely a longer gap than usual so I’m glad to be back 😊😊😊
I appreciate your thoughts and thank you for sharing
It’s my pleasure! Thank you so much 😊
คิดถึงChiang Mai, important speech, important to remember always 🙏
Wonderful 😊😊😊
Missed you. Good to hear you again.
Thank you so much Carmen! I’m glad to be back 😊😊😊
And now I'm going to replay the video so I can write this all down. Thank you!
Beautiful!!!! 😊😊
I think we forget words have power and don’t think of what is said and the effect the can have on people. Love and light to you always 🙏🏻❤️
Yes so very true 😊
my 'cheat-sheet' mantra for these points: *slow, little, kind, only if better than silence* 🧡
That’s great 😊
Yes, very helpful!!! Thank you very much for all your insight!!Blessings to you!!
I quit phoning, or receiving calls from people who jump right into their talk, nonstop....without asking is this a good time?? Monopolizing conversation....I only listen...
(ret nurse, i do active listening very well)
...i will make sure they are well, and sometimes respond with texting. I quit following people who are crass and flippant...
Thank you again!! I am listening and sending out what u share!!
Thank you so much Constance. I’m glad you’ve found ways of navigating through the various situations you’re faced with. Keep up the great work 😊😊😊
Thank you Nick 🙏🙏🙏 I believe we need to think before we speak 🙏🙏🙏
You’re welcome ☺️
thank you. Blessings back to you
Thank you so much my friend 😊
Well & detailed explaination venerable. Currently working on talking less with self. Only necessary self talk. Sometimes I hang board around my neck mentioning "In silence" & sometimes on my bed room door I hang board "In silence" So that people around me dont disturb me & they will not misunderstand me when I don't talk that time. Silence refills energy in me. Lots of Metta to everyone.
Wonderful Shruti! We have a silence badge at our retreat center as well 😊
Thank you for these messages. Someone once said to me, 'Those who gossip with you, gossip about you.' I tell the children I teach this too.
I am always telling them to think of 3 gates their speech should go through before it gets out; is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? It's a long process but it's a start. ☺
Thank You Nick for such a helpful topic. I was particularly taken by " why we share". I hate gossip, as I see it as collateral and food to satiate the ego. Your content was very thought provoking and relevant. So glad to have you here again. Sadhu🌻
Thank you so much Joan. I’m glad it resonates with you 😊 I hope you are well.
Whoever is guiding you in to these videos is doing a great job. Your videos seem to show to me exactly when I need them and with what I need most in that moment. When I'm watching your videos I feel like you're talking only to me because it feels like you already know what I'm going through. You have been a great support on my journey for two years now and for that I want to thank you and the entire line of masters.
Aww thank you so much for your beautiful message. I’m glad the videos resonates with you and keep on doing the work my friend 😊😊😊 please continue to keep us updated on your progress!
@@nickkeomahavong01 Oww, thank you I will 🤗. With much love and great respect. 🙏🏻
This warms up my heart ❤ I feel the same way 🙌🏼
I really needed this video. Thank you
Wonderful my friend! I’m glad it’s helpful 😊😊
Thank you, Brother Nick 🙏😌 I have many issues but, thankfully, speech isn't one of them. I'm more of a listener, anyway. Your teachings will be taken to heart, as always. People close to me have some of the traits you speak of. It's difficult when it's family. We will continue to work towards a positive result. Be well. 🙏😌
Thank you so much my friend 😊😊
Wow! Nick you are brilliant. I have actually cut off people who gossip, complain from my contacts!! This video to me just comfirms that i did the right thing. Thankyou so much, keep them videos rolling you are creating change in all of us who follow you and actualize your teachings.
Aww thank you so much Joyce for your kind words 😊😊😊 hope you are doing well my friend.
Thank you for bringing together your life experiences and your studies to explain some very important teachings in a way that my western-raised brain can hear and really integrate. I feel very fortunate to have found your channel.
This is a such important topic, Rev. Nick. Cheers from the heart for your words full of wisdom and guidance
Aww thank you so much! I’m glad you found it helpful 😊😊
Thanks for the good humour in teaching us acceptance of our foibles. It helps us have more gentleness with our selves, that our flaws do not mean THE END.
Thank you so much Marisa 😊
Well, that brought a few home truths ! Thank you venerable Nick.
Wonderful my friend! Thank you so much 😊 I’m glad it’s helpful
Dear Nick
Thank you so much for this EXCELLENT info and advice.
Your warm and caring delivery makes it easy for us to embrace and apply what you're telling us 🦋
Aww thank you so much for your kind words. I’m glad it resonated with you 😊
"The speech that we display makes an impact on our minds"- powerful statement.
This includes self-speech, i.e., our thoughts. We may not consider it so, but that's speech as well.
I’m so glad to find the video, I was a little worried about you because of the time passed without your wisdom. Thanks so much for all your sharings, so helpful. I love to listen to you, you help me to be a better and happier person. Shado.
Thank you so much 😊 I’m glad to be back
Hi Nick, thank you for this video❤️as everyone, I am "guilty" of some of the points you said. Now, my mind is filled with hate and rage, as my land is suffering so much due to war, that Russia is doing in my country. There is lots of hate and rage, and it is really hard to cope with these feelings. But your video is amazing reminder to try not to "host" this spreach and feelings.
Otherwise I am very talkative. It is feature of my character. I live by my own, and in Corona time lack of communication was so bad for me, that if I would meet someone, I would be just talking, getting rid of all the words, that were unsaid by me :) I still figuring how to work on that. I am very communicative, and actually people do love chatting with me, it is just I know I talk too much...
My heart goes out to you and your country. Sending you so my blessings and please hang in there. This is a challenging time indeed so we just need to be mindful and do our best. I’m glad you’re aware of your experiences so that’s a big plus 😊😊😊 keep up the good work my friend! Please stay safe.
I loved this talk, Nick. Thanks so much!
Thank you so much Chris! I’m glad you enjoyed it 😊😊
@@nickkeomahavong01 You are always a gift to us, and you always have something helpful to say. You are very much appreciated.
Thank you so much Ven.Nick so inspiring.Blessings from South Africa 🇿🇦
You’re welcome Jackie. Thank you so much 😊
You just described 90% of the content of conversations at work in my life. Some of it which I contributed. I need to change that.
Hi Nick! Great advice as always. I've been turning to your videos ALOT lately. Life just keeps on happening, they say when it rains it pours....I feel like I'm in the middle of a hurricane recently, UGH. Times have gotten super tough for us and it's so hard to see any light at the end of this tunnel. One thing after another, and then another and repeat. SMH. I feel so defeated. 😔 Thank You For Remaining A Constant My Friend.
Oh no. I’m sorry to hear that. Hang in there my friend. Sending you my blessings from Thailand.
My issues in this area that I am working on are angry speech and swearing.
I have noticed that I use the word hate (not about people), in my thoughts and words way too much!
I'm getting better but, have a ways to go.
Thank you so much Nick for the tools!!!
Just keep catching yourself my friend. That’s the first step 😊
Thank you for the kind words of encouragement.
I can't ever remember not being depressed, even as a child.
I was in a very dark place when I started watching your videos.
When you talked about the things you have gone through in your life and to see the man that you are today, is so inspiring to me. Listening to you totally changed something in me and I haven't felt any depression since that day.
I write in the five journals most days and I feel like they are helping me.
I'm so glad that I found your videos. I really appreciate all the hard work that you do to help others.
You are such a wonderful person!!!
Thank you so very much!!!
@@nickkeomahavong01 Thank you so much for the kind and encouraging words.
My anger toward my husband is when I start using profanity.
With the help of the journals you suggested in another video, I have recognized I need to let go of past hurts where my husband is concerned, instead of letting them continue to pile up. This in turn has helped me to realize I had been over reacting on several things currently in our relationship.
Im learning how to leave the past in the past and not get so angry.
You have given so much wonderful advice, and so much of it has helped me in several areas in my life. Problems I didn't think I would ever be able to solve.
Thank you so very much!!!
Welcome back, Ven. Nick. Great to get a new video from you. It is a refresher course, actually, on the topic of speech. I recognized it from your book Buddhist Cleanse. All good information. Hope all is well with you. Donald Simons
Thank you so much 😊
Thank you for breaking down these essentials so clearly, and for creating this safe space for us to look at ourselves more mindfully. Much love from Spain 🕊
It’s my pleasure Carol. Thank you so much 😊
Thank You So much! So far I have had to watch this twice. And I need to watch it a 3rd time as I can just feel it in my gut.
Wonderful Lori! I’m glad it’s helpful. Yes please keep coming back to it and continue to use it as a resource 😊😊
Reflection 11/9/23. Sick at home but still complete my meditation routine 🧘♂️
It is true that words can kill.
I will try to be mindful to speak good and direct positive outcome. Thank you teacher.
You’re welcome ☺️
Yes yes yes; our spoken words are powerful. It is very interesting what we do on autopilot... been actively trying to listen more and be more aware of the words I chose in my speech. Thank you Nick, your chosen words are appreciated and bring lots of clarity.
I truly believe Tool 3. Why are we sharing is one of the most important to understand. My grandmother always said she had three tests; is it true? Is it kind? Is it useful? If it fails any of the three, it's not worth being said.
I am celebrating my change in speech and mindfulness.❤
Thank you, very helpful! BTW you look so beautiful, a testament to your work/ life at the monastery.
You really got to stay connected now especially during times of crisis or chaos not to lose yourself unless you already trained it helps to go through any storm . Thank you❤ i only gossip about good things 😊
😊😊
Need to improve Idle chatter, specially on phones and with my old parents. I have to talk a lot to engage them in new things so they do not feel old and lonely. I am really thankful to TH-cam creator. With the help of yt i have met you. You are a true teacher. Today you have picked very niche and important topic and taught us very well. You are also doing online generosity and helping many people .. ❤
Aww thank you so much my friend. And great job with taking care of your parents. Keep up the great work 😊
Thank you so much for sharing these teachings! If I may, I would like to make a request, would it be possible to make a video about the other conducts of Buddhist ethics, in addition to the four verbal actions: the three bodily actions and the three mental actions? Again, thank you very much! I use your videos not only for my personal development, but also to introduce other people to Buddhist concepts.
Thank you so much for the suggestion Nicolas. And thank you for the support 😊
I love to chat.
It's what helps us connect and be more human.
Social bonding .
😊😊
Thank you Nick. May we all take these tools into consideration and stick with them ! Life would be much more pleasant ! Looking forward to the next video.
Thank you so much 😊
ever since i have been watching your videos like a week now everyday mutiples ones at once it has completely changed my whole perspective and mindset on why we clutter in the first place and the meaning behind why we act the way we act and behave the way we all humans do , the meaning of having addictive patterns and what caused those patterns to becomes a habit , im starting to change and fix up my bad toxic lifestyle and habits and i’ve decluttered almost everything out of my bedroom and life in general because i’ve realised i didn’t need items to show of or look cool or look like i was made of money or to attach to something because i was lonely or coping with internal trauma or depression/anxiety and ocd , i downgraded to just having what i need and being okay with being a simple person with just herself the only thing she owns is herself i been meditating everyday and my 2 note books that i own are full with all this chatter and words because now being a minimalist and owning nothing i’ve become a book worm and just want my days to be involved around books / note books and my phone and meditation and that’s all . i’m also moving out of my city to start a new lifestyle with a more calm quiet rural area so i don’t get sucked back into the city’s rushed chaotic lifestyle that’s always moving and full of people. i’m meant for a quiet life an introverted soul just me and my quiet mind at peace. thank you soo much if i could shave my hair i would also 😂, i’m living below my means now and living cheap and not trying to show or trying to spend loads of money on nice things because i was insecure and wanted to fit in with the rest of the world but truth is i don’t want to fit in i like being seen as boring or quiet or she barely talks i like being different and just liking who i am not trying to change myself to be liked or look normal . i love me and so should everyone on this comment section you are amazing god created you in unique way different to everyone else don’t be normal be unique be what the future needs and break the patterns and cycle of always wanting more more more . have less because having less means you have the world and nature eveything is around you that you need nature will fulfill you how often do we walk in nature and our minds feel at peace and not rushed or wanting to do everything at once . we feel renewed and just in the moment we should feel like that everyday do less give more be simple.
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing Jessica. I’m glad these videos are helpful. You’re doing great work. Please keep up with your meditation practice 😊😊
Thank you! So appreciate these guides.
You’re welcome ☺️
Thank you for all your teachings,❤😊.
You’re welcome ☺️
I was waiting for your video. Thank you very much for this knowledge.
Thank you so much my friend. Sorry for the wait!
🙏🙏🙏
Thankful to you, Rev.Sir.
You’re welcome ☺️
Thanks for this Gyan...Pranaam...💐💐💐😊
You’re welcome my friend 😊😊 thank you
@@nickkeomahavong01 Thank you...💐😊
Appreciate this so much Nick. These tools are great plus I can come back to the video & breakdown all that happened in a negative conversation😇 My side of it plus theirs.
Wonderful!!! I love it. It’s always great to reflect and continue to improve. Well done Ms. Stevey 😊😊
@@nickkeomahavong01 We've got to start somewhere with our talk both self talk & talk with other's. The foul language & the tone. It's not necessarily what we say but HOW we say it also. This video is much needed BCUZ it is step by step WITH the reflection possibility🥳 I love this & will celebrate it! ... often
Thank you for being here. You help so much with basics and sometimes reminders. For those who have slipped or fallen into these patterns it’s especially helpful and welcome. Thank you. Never thought I’d be here to need to hear this but it is very much so. Thank you.
You’re welcome Gale. It’s my pleasure to share 😊😊😊
Bless you a thousand times 🙏
Thank you so much Maria! I hope all is well 😊😊
@@nickkeomahavong01 All is well here in Northumberland Venerable Nick. It's just been a bit manic at home but all in a good way, just busy. It is so comforting to hearing your voice and listening to your wisdom. I do a journal now and again and write down every point I like to remember of the advice that you give us. Thank you so much and many many blessings🤗🙏
Thank you Nick. I love listening to your wisdom!
Thank you so much my friend 😊
Great lesson Venerable Nick.🙏
Thank you so much 😊
Hello , i enjoy your channel a lot. I think many people not only western background people enjoy and learn from this channel! Thank u for providing meaningful, bright, easy to catch advices. Even my country is Buddhist country, i sadly dont know the basic things about buddism. Actually there is no opportunity to learn about buddist way of thinking in daily life, people somehow dont talk specifically. I really really learn a lot from this channel and enjoy. It makes me calm and resetting my mind
Aww thank you so much my friend. I’m glad these easy practical steps are helpful 😊
The segment on teenagers and harsh speech so true. You remind me of something that my mother once said to me that was harsh. To this day, I have never forgotten it. So you are definitely on point.
I'm so glad that you posted a longer video. I really miss your video content although I'm sure that you have a good reason for not posting as regularly
Thank you so much 😊 I’m glad to be back.
thank you very much for this video Nick, I found myself pondering about this topic a few days ago so the timing of this video is immaculate! I found the notes at the end of the video particularly insightful into this topic
Wow! I’m so glad to hear that it came at the right time. I’m glad it’s helpful Amy! Enjoy your day 😊
Namo Buddhaya Bhante, thank you for this loverly dhamma talk
🙏
Thank you,💚 these talks are always helpful.
Thank you so much my friend 😊😊
I tend to talk a bit too fast. Three reasons. One, I'm Scottish so we tend to talk a bit fast anyway and, two, I spent years where I would be talking and the person I was talking to would just walk away, mid conversation. Three, ADHD. However, I'm much better nowadays and I'm better at catching myself now. Living in East Asia does help as Asians generally have a bit more patience. Great to see you back Ven Nick!
Haha. Thank you for sharing your insight so honestly. I love it 😊
Great topic for everyday use and a reminder to continue my efforts towards what I already strive to improve. Nice work.
Wonderful my friend! I’m glad it’s helpful and useful 😊😊😊 thank you
I am so grateful to you for sharing important and useful ways to communicate. I find it hard to talk in a community of negative chat to engage and be present when people engage in negative things. Thanks for helping with this. 🙏🏽🤗🙏🏻☮️💕
You’re welcome Renee! Thank you so much 😊
Watching this video over and over to remind myself to reflect and work on the way I speak….it is such an important topic…and we tend to forget about that quite often….so thanks that we have your wonderful videos as a treasure and resource - I‘m learning so much from them 🙏 Regards and all my best wishes from Germany
I really really needed to hear this! What about how to deal with other people's lies and how to survive gossip and other people's divisive tactics? I din't realise it before but I think no 3 is standing out atm.
Wonderful! I’m glad it’s helpful. At the moment, don’t worry too much about what other people are doing. Just improve our habits first and everything will fall into its place 😊😊
Thank you Ven. Nick! These teachings will help a lot! 🙏
You’re welcome ☺️
Delightfully fresh word
Sadhu🙏🏻Sadhu🙏🏻Sadhu🙏🏻
Thank you so much 😊
This is SO helpful! This has been a real struggle in the workplace. I am going to post these 4 types on my cubby at work as a good reminder! Thank you!
Wonderful my friend. That’s a great idea 😊
Nick, hope you are well. Your wisdom is enlightening, as always. Thank you. Xx 🙏
Thank you so much Jill 😊
I love this video. Thank you 🙏
Thank you so much Vanessa 😊😊
Ven .Nick , thank you so much for this very wise and helpful teaching. I have two acquaintances who come my house uninvited separately and can talk literally for hours. I do not wish to be unkind but it so tiring and I find myself making up excuses to make them leave. So, thank you for helping me understand this problem.
Oh no. That sounds like an uncomfortable situation but I think your wisdom will know the proper course of action to take 😊😊😊
Thank you. Appreciate your advice and wisdom.
You’re welcome! Thank you so much 😊
Hi Nick! I am a faithful follower of your teaching. As a blind American I have taken great comfort and becoming a Buddhist. Your videos are essential for me because I can’t drive to a temple. I enjoy nearly every part of your videos with one exception. When there is no dialogue it would be great if you could have an audio description of what is happening. I don’t know if this is possible. It is very helpful for those of us who have little or no vision. Keep up the great work in spreading the teachings of the Buddha.
I find your teachings most helpful and enriching within my life. For many years Since my 20's I have practice mindfulness and meditation but sometimes I can forget to fully follow my basic philosophy. So when I read and sometimes re-read your teachings and come back and stay on my correct path. Thank You for your positive energy.
Thank you so much Sheila! I’m glad it’s helpful 😊
thank you very much Nick for sharing this important topic with us words can kill or bring life in people thank you for all your kind words psychotherapy shines through you 😊
Aww thank you so much Regina!!! I’m glad you enjoyed the video 😊😊
Very sound advice in todays trouble world.....balance within.
Thank you so much 😊
So grateful to have your helpful advice🙏
Grateful 🙏 for the teaching on this topic. Very useful and helpful for me. Once again thanks for being my spiritual teacher 🙏
Aww thank you so much. I’m glad it’s helpful Amy 😊😊
All the principles of life, i.e. "Less is More, Small is Beautiful, & Simple is Best" are also applicable on our speech --- Less Speech, More Peace; Small Speech is Beautiful & Simple and Necessary Talk is Best.
Thank you for this video. Your recommendations of which types of speech to avoid also work well online. Each time I write a comment, I always try to read it carefully and thoughtfully before I hit "send".
Beautiful!!!! I love it. That’s such a great point 😊😊