Let me know whether you are too trusting or distrusting in the comments, and why you think that might be the case. Download the guide for your trust blueprint: www.terricole.com/trust-issues-ruining-relationships-guide
As a woman who dares men, once trust is violated it’s time to move on. I’ve ended multiple relationships over men who lied and couldn’t keep their eyes off pictures of women. Even after multiple conversations. I have learned that people don’t change. All it did was make me a worse person for the right man.
I used to be too trusting..... Then literally everyone in my life gave me reasons to not trust anyone! And now that there is someone I think I may be able to trust.... I am quick to believe that they are either stealing from me or doing something wrong.... Ugh so then I find it easier to be alone....
I see you ❤️ Sometimes it helps if we begin small- see if this person will be true to their word in a very small, low-stakes situation and then go from there. (Of course, don't do that if you have proof they are stealing from you!)
Thank you Terri, you have helped me so much with this. I almost ruined a great relationship with a lovely trustworthy man with my trust issues but I am working on myself with this every day so we can build up our trust and have a healthier relationship that is strong and loving and exciting with our love. Terri, you are beautiful inside and out, thank you again.
I learned that people were not trustworthy. My parents never and I mean that, NEVER, did keep their word. They have lied to me and my family multiple times to manipulate us. We found out later. My mom is a narcissisty. Dad has gone from some of the time reining her in tp giving up and giving in altogether. She has always been a naysayer and untrustworthy. I felt most of the time that I don't matter. It was only my husband that helped me to start to see and work on being more kind toward myself.
To learn how to become discerning really is the key for me. I've been both too trusting and constantly doubting. You're right, Terri, it's exhausting. Thank you for sharing this video and the guide❤🙏
I have trust issues around woman that was adopted from childhood. It brings a lot of relationship anxiety to me that I battle alone because I fear sharing it because I don't want it used against me, so I battle it alone. Makes relationships anxiety ridden, fun, fun..
There was absolutely no trust in my family from a very young age, too much to put into one comment. Then I was cheated on and abused in my own relationships until now. And my trust issues got in the way of my newest relationship, and I’m afraid I’ve ruined it forever.
Thank you for this conversation. I checked off the boxes on the majority of these points. The past 10 yrs have had me soul searching and flipping the script.
This is a tough topic for me. I could never trust myself to date a decent guy and then to make decisions that were in my best interest once in the dysfunctional relationship? I am learning now to trust and honor my values. I want to try to date again but the fear of making bad decisions stops me. Most of my past relationships were co-dependent and unhealthy. My Mom was not loving enough towards me -- I am sure this make me feel like I can' trust people I love. I need to learn to love yself and trust myself first. I wanted my Mom to hold me and hug me and tell me I am pretty when I came home from school crying after kids made funn of my large nose. My last name is Gross and they said yes she is - Mom said don't worry - you will get a nose job when you are 16. ok, I underdstand that but I was crying and in pain and feeling hurt - - hug me - tell me you love me and I am pretty -- did this affect my trust issues with loved ones? I has an expectaion with my Mom and it wasn't met. And with men I dated - never met
I have been too trusting in the past or maybe seeing the "all fine" about others, but not so much now. Difficult experiences with others can well be the case or as you have explained not so ready to self~abandonment and seeing self~regard from different perspectives. Thank you so much for this video& conversation Terri it will be powerful to work on blue-prints, question inner dialogues and whys.. 😊❤
Thank you Terri for the video. Your thoughtful and nuanced comments provides many opportunities for reflection. I feel like you explored this topic to some very deep places, so thank you.
My husband is naive and unknowingly gives me reasons not to trust him even though he doesn’t mean any harm to me by doing these things. I’ve pointed them out. I’ve been cheated on by every man I’ve been with except him although he doesn’t seem to totally understand that when he talks and jokes and laughs with other women that it hurts me so deep and I know that’s wrong. My trust blueprint is my father was not trustworthy and he abandoned me at a very young age.
I'm going through the same stuff right now she broke up with me with the condition I work on myself and it's hard asf. I feel myself changing but I fear it's too late even tho she's still living with me and we talk everyday she's going to go drinking with a coworker that's married and she's promised nothing will happen and she even told me she's coming back home and not spending the night there I just worry bc of how non coherent she can get not knowing where she is and I'm stressing about her safety and what if something happens
@@countryman99rhec95im going thru the same thing I’ve done things in the past now im not cheating or anything and I e found messages and all she do is deny things but I feel she doing something in my soul I really do!! And its driving me crazy as hell now
My wife lied about her past (body county etc.). It is not big deal, but still lies are lies. 30 years down the road I still have problems trusting her. Lies destroy relationships.
Her past? ...is just that the past everyone has a past appreciation the person she became for you if you can there is a lot of shitty people out there the grass ain't greener on the other side
Wow, Terri thanks. I learned so much, even though I have been looking at relationship issues, with counseling, for a while. Example, positive projecting,. I now realise, it's a big problem of mine.🤓
1) How do u trear yourself? 2) In what areas of yoir life are you good at keeping your word to yourself? 3) What were the red flags you ignored about people who later turned out to be untrustworthy?
Hi Terri, thanks for this video. I implicitly trusted my wife for 20 years but recently found out that she'd hidden her 'friendship' with a male colleague for the last 3 years. They met regularly at work for coffees and chats, and also went out for dinners with other friends but for some reason he was the only one she never mentioned to me. I found out about their friendship from reading her Facebook messages ( with her permission of course) and this has really hurt me and I can't trust her anymore. She says that her relationship is inconsequential so she never mentioned it, but that isn't how it comes across from the messages. She promised to never hide any meetings or interactions with him from me again and I learnt to trust her again. But last week she met him and planned a dinner with him and other friends and lied to me about it. Unfortunately I found out and now I am really unable to trust her at all. This led me to your video. I really don't know what to do anymore. I love her to bits but can't deal with this deception and secrecy which is affecting my ability to love her as much as I am capable of.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion, and so sorry to hear you're going through this. 💕 Have you spoken to her about it, and asked her why she felt the need to lie about it after agreeing to not hide it from you? Have you told her in plain terms how it looks to you? (Like, can she understand how this is a breach of trust, or is she still downplaying it?) Is she willing to go to couple's therapy- is that something you're interested in? I would have been clear and set boundaries upon seeing the messages, like, "I am deeply uncomfortable with what I'm reading here, especially given that it's been going on for 3 years. I would like to request that you stop having dinner with him. If you do, then..." and I would have suggested a consequence. But since we're past that, if this is a deal breaker for you, I would tell her that and ask for a very honest conversation about why she went behind your back and what thoughts she's having about this entire situation. Like, "You asked me to trust you when you said you wouldn't hide meetings with him and then you did exactly that. Why?" I hope that helps. I'd also suggest getting clear on what kind of outcome you're looking for with this. If there's no path to regaining trust, then you might need to be honest about that with yourself, too. 💕
@@terri_cole thank you for your advice. She said she cared about my feelings and didn't want me to be upset knowing that she'd met him and was planning on going to dinner with him. To be honest, I never asked her not to go out as a group when he was attending as well. I think she was planning on telling me after the dinner that he had turned up as well, although I can't say for definite as the dinner got cancelled after her deception was discovered. I am sure she's not having a physical affair, but I'm worried that at some point she got too emotionally involved with this man and is now trying to hide it. That was when our relationship was going through some issues as well. I think marriage counselling is the only way forward. I want to trust her but need her to prove to me that she's trustworthy. I'll set my boundaries clear (learning from your videos) and give her one more chance and if there are any more untruths or deception, it'll mean the end of our relationship I'm afraid.
I could never trust my parents because of abuse and domestic violence. Then went into relationships to young and was cheated on by every man i was with except my current partner. The problem is he lied to me about certain things in the beginning of our relationship to "push me away" because he was scared of getting close at first. He came clean about all those things but i am still riddled with anxiety and paranoia at times to the point where i feel physically ill. If i ask for reassurance he gets very angry and tells me i should be over it by now. We havent even been together a year. He has a lot of good qualities but i feel its impossible to learn to trust especially because he gets angry when i struggle which makes me feel more paranoid. its a horrible cycle and i really care about this relationship. He said hes willing to get counseling. I dont want to waste my time if i wont be able to heal or ever feel safe. Id rather be alone if i am going to feel this way my whole life.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending love 💕 If your partner is getting angry and not giving you the time or space you need, I would say that's a red flag. You both need to create the feeling of emotional safety in the relationship. That takes time, especially if the relationship started out with lies. You have a right to how you feel and it's not as easy as just "being over it." If you care about the relationship deeply and he is willing to get counseling, I would look into that. But if you don't feel safe telling him how you feel because he gets angry, I would really take an honest look at the relationship and what it is giving you. That is not a healthy dynamic. Your partner should care about how you feel and why, especially if it involves their actions. I do believe it's possible to heal, but you need to have a safe container in which to do that. 💕 Some videos you might find helpful: 5 traits of healthy relationships: th-cam.com/video/rxhOqiYvWh0/w-d-xo.html 20 tips for a healthy relationship: th-cam.com/video/jrzowFH2K_k/w-d-xo.html (Both of these can give you a good idea of what a healthy relationship looks like, which can be important if you never saw it modeled.) How to learn to trust again: th-cam.com/video/G2itCfc8jEw/w-d-xo.html (More of a step-by-step process than this video) The Toxic Impact of Childhood Neglect in Adult Relationships: th-cam.com/video/GF_24BNdR2o/w-d-xo.html (since you mentioned your parents were abusive) I hope this helps a little 💕
Hi, I think I'm having trust issues, I have this wonderful woman in my life, I only realized this morning how emotionally abusive I've been to her, she has been keeping her feelings to herself because she tries to protect our relationship, today she pointed out everything I've been throwing at her it broke me because this was the first time I saw my woman crying, I want to fix this before it damages the both of us, I love this woman and I do not want to lose her, please help me.
I would start by truly listening to her, showing that you understand where she's coming from, asking her what she needs from you, and figuring out a path forward together. I go into how to create emotional safety in a relationship here: th-cam.com/video/f2um7z0Imug/w-d-xo.html
She asked me to give her space to heal from the hurting, I agreed but honestly my insecurities are getting the better of me, what should I do avoid over thinking?
I would recommend getting the help of a therapist or trusted professional to help you work through the overthinking and insecurities, if it's accessible to you. ❤️ I have a video on how to find one here: th-cam.com/video/KanMmTUeUlQ/w-d-xo.html I also have a video on how to get over your ex and stop blaming yourself, which might be helpful for the overthinking, even if this isn't the exact situation you're in: th-cam.com/video/gig4uJ-O0M8/w-d-xo.html
I have a suspicion she has trust issues. Thinking back, i ised to get in trouble for dream me cheating on her vs awake/ real me NOT cheating on her. Crazy
So sorry to hear that 💕 Are either of you open to couple's counseling to work through it with a third party? Do you or your girlfriend know what is at the root of her trust issues?
Trying to overcome my issues with trusting in a new relationship I feel I am constantly trying to sabotage things and see things that are not really there I don’t want to be this way anymore I just don’t have anyone to talk or chat with regarding this
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this 💕 These videos may help you dig a little deeper into what might be going on: th-cam.com/video/VIH5O5P-hLw/w-d-xo.html, th-cam.com/video/WsnPXDmiumk/w-d-xo.html, th-cam.com/video/2DBgSGDRS1Y/w-d-xo.html, and th-cam.com/video/Rg7UZO_L_Wk/w-d-xo.html
Terr, I have a question about repeating realities. You were talking about trust this time, but what if the problem is emotional unavailablity of both of the parents? In my case, because of that I supose, I am emotional unavailable in a way(not 100% bc I am trying not to be like my parents, and sometimes I disconect from the present moment), but I am attracting friends and guys who are often em. unavailable. I mean, how to stop that circle with attracting and how to be more em. available for others? Hope you understood🤗
You might want to check out my conversation with Vienna Pharaon - th-cam.com/video/iYaS_SBA7Rs/w-d-xo.html She goes into detail on sort of the 'reverse' repeating reality that may help to shed some light on your situation ❤️ As for being more emotionally available for others, I did a video recently on creating emotional safety in relationships which may be a good starting point: th-cam.com/video/f2um7z0Imug/w-d-xo.html
my boyfriend has trust issus and he's acussed me of cheating when i didn't. he ask where i am makes feel like he don't trust me. I wish my boyfriend can watch this. I have trust issus to but i never once accused him. I hate living my life like this. My boyfriend don't trust anyone or anything. I'm having hard time enjoying my life.
Trust issues can be difficult to navigate, especially if the other person isn't willing to work on them. If you want to stay with your boyfriend I would ask what specifically would help him feel like he could trust you again. But if there's zero reason for him to accuse you of cheating, I'd also be careful that he's not trying to be controlling or manipulative. I talk about that here: th-cam.com/video/8sBKq8cRs78/w-d-xo.html
@@terri_cole I hope its not my falute for people having trust issus. I'm always telling the truth to him at least. but somtime his trust issuis hurts me
@@terri_coleI think he knows. I feel I believe. I had another argument yesterday. 😢 He sees I'm getting bullied but he handled the hard way he was yelling and shouting at me me on the phone and swearing 😢 he didn't handle it very well 😔 and he doesn't like seeing multiple Facebook accounts . Apparently my Facebook account is affecting his trust I feel like I'm losing his trust 😢 his trust issues are hurting me 😢 he was making me cry 💔😢 so I didn't want to talk to him after all this fight I wanted space 😭😢 I definitely needed it he was still saying babe are you there .
i know we all have trust issues but it wouldnt be triggered if our partner doesnt do something suspicious. is it wrong to ask her, whos calling and why is deleting every text after texting anyone even her family. i dont get triggered if she wasnt being sus, if u know what i mean. what should i do? am i too much or is she really hiding something. idk
I can't say without knowing more. Are you positive she's deleting all of her texts? I would say the best thing to do is talk to her about it. Tell her how this is making you feel. Be prepared to tell her what *would* make you feel safer in this situation, and also be prepared that she may feel like she doesn't need to tell you about all the communication she has. You'll need to find a compromise. ❤️
hi again I know i commented one mouth ago but I remeaber i said my boyfriend has trust issis. he also has anger prombems to 😢 he was yelling and swearing at me on the phone today I feel like i'm losing his trust. its happing on facebook. I don't feel happy anymore on facebook. My boyfriend is being rude and not being nice to me. I thanking about deleting my facebook cuz i'm also being cyber bullied 😢 my boyfriend knows but he handle it the wrong way by yelling and swearing at me. He's not helping me much. His trust issuis are hurting me and making me depressed. He made me cry.
Hey there- I responded to your other comment regarding your boyfriend's behavior specifically, but I think it's perfectly okay for you to delete your Facebook. That sounds like a healthy boundary to set, especially if you're getting bullied. 💕 Social media boundaries are important for us to have!
Why I can’t trust my wife cause she was talking to this man that she had sexual relations with one time that what she told me but I thick it was more than one time so how can I trust her
That's for you to decide- what would make her feel trustworthy again, if anything? What would make you feel safe in the relationship? You may need to set boundaries and tell her how uncomfortable her talking to this man makes you feel, and see how she reacts. Couple's counseling may be helpful, too.
Let me know whether you are too trusting or distrusting in the comments, and why you think that might be the case. Download the guide for your trust blueprint: www.terricole.com/trust-issues-ruining-relationships-guide
Too trusting…been called “gullible.” You “wear your heart on your sleeve,” as if it’s a bad thing(?).
As a woman who dares men, once trust is violated it’s time to move on. I’ve ended multiple relationships over men who lied and couldn’t keep their eyes off pictures of women. Even after multiple conversations. I have learned that people don’t change. All it did was make me a worse person for the right man.
I used to be too trusting..... Then literally everyone in my life gave me reasons to not trust anyone! And now that there is someone I think I may be able to trust.... I am quick to believe that they are either stealing from me or doing something wrong.... Ugh so then I find it easier to be alone....
I see you ❤️ Sometimes it helps if we begin small- see if this person will be true to their word in a very small, low-stakes situation and then go from there. (Of course, don't do that if you have proof they are stealing from you!)
For me. Everyone has my respect and can lose it. But no one gets my trust until they earn it.
"Trust issue can solve trust also.
But choose wisely who can be trusted"
-My friend
Thank you Terri, you have helped me so much with this. I almost ruined a great relationship with a lovely trustworthy man with my trust issues but I am working on myself with this every day so we can build up our trust and have a healthier relationship that is strong and loving and exciting with our love. Terri, you are beautiful inside and out, thank you again.
I'm so glad this is helping you and your relationship ❤️❤️❤️
I'm so glad this is helping you and your relationship ❤️❤️❤️
I learned that people were not trustworthy. My parents never and I mean that, NEVER, did keep their word. They have lied to me and my family multiple times to manipulate us. We found out later. My mom is a narcissisty. Dad has gone from some of the time reining her in tp giving up and giving in altogether. She has always been a naysayer and untrustworthy. I felt most of the time that I don't matter. It was only my husband that helped me to start to see and work on being more kind toward myself.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion 💕
Thanks
Same here, I can’t seem to trust anyone including myself ❤️🩹
To learn how to become discerning really is the key for me. I've been both too trusting and constantly doubting. You're right, Terri, it's exhausting. Thank you for sharing this video and the guide❤🙏
I see you ❤️ And you are so welcome!
Hi Terri, I have also been too trusting to my cost and finally learned not everyone is trustworthy.
I see you 💕
I have trust issues around woman that was adopted from childhood. It brings a lot of relationship anxiety to me that I battle alone because I fear sharing it because I don't want it used against me, so I battle it alone. Makes relationships anxiety ridden, fun, fun..
I am so sorry to hear that and am witnessing you with compassion 💕
There was absolutely no trust in my family from a very young age, too much to put into one comment. Then I was cheated on and abused in my own relationships until now. And my trust issues got in the way of my newest relationship, and I’m afraid I’ve ruined it forever.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️
Thank you for sharing your very valid points that helped me understand my trust and paranoia issues so I can learn to trust and love deeper.
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for this conversation. I checked off the boxes on the majority of these points. The past 10 yrs have had me soul searching and flipping the script.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤
This is a tough topic for me. I could never trust myself to date a decent guy and then to make decisions that were in my best interest once in the dysfunctional relationship? I am learning now to trust and honor my values. I want to try to date again but the fear of making bad decisions stops me. Most of my past relationships were co-dependent and unhealthy.
My Mom was not loving enough towards me -- I am sure this make me feel like I can' trust people I love. I need to learn to love yself and trust myself first.
I wanted my Mom to hold me and hug me and tell me I am pretty when I came home from school crying after kids made funn of my large nose. My last name is Gross and they said yes she is - Mom said don't worry - you will get a nose job when you are 16. ok, I underdstand that but I was crying and in pain and feeling hurt - - hug me - tell me you love me and I am pretty -- did this affect my trust issues with loved ones? I has an expectaion with my Mom and it wasn't met. And with men I dated - never met
This makes sense to me, Linda, and I am witnessing you and your younger self with so much compassion 💕
I have been too trusting in the past or
maybe seeing the "all fine" about others, but not so much now. Difficult
experiences with others can well be
the case or as you have explained not
so ready to self~abandonment and seeing self~regard from different
perspectives. Thank you so much
for this video& conversation Terri
it will be powerful to work on
blue-prints, question inner dialogues
and whys.. 😊❤
I am so glad you think the exercises will be helpful, and thank you for sharing 💕
Thank you Terri for the video. Your thoughtful and nuanced comments provides many opportunities for reflection. I feel like you explored this topic to some very deep places, so thank you.
I am so glad you found it helpful 💕
My husband is naive and unknowingly gives me reasons not to trust him even though he doesn’t mean any harm to me by doing these things. I’ve pointed them out. I’ve been cheated on by every man I’ve been with except him although he doesn’t seem to totally understand that when he talks and jokes and laughs with other women that it hurts me so deep and I know that’s wrong.
My trust blueprint is my father was not trustworthy and he abandoned me at a very young age.
I am witnessing you with compassion 💕 Thank you for sharing.
I ruined a relationship with an amazing person because of my trust issues.. not only did I loose her, but I also feel like a monster
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️
how old are you?
I'm going through the same stuff right now she broke up with me with the condition I work on myself and it's hard asf. I feel myself changing but I fear it's too late even tho she's still living with me and we talk everyday she's going to go drinking with a coworker that's married and she's promised nothing will happen and she even told me she's coming back home and not spending the night there I just worry bc of how non coherent she can get not knowing where she is and I'm stressing about her safety and what if something happens
I need some advice
@@countryman99rhec95im going thru the same thing I’ve done things in the past now im not cheating or anything and I e found messages and all she do is deny things but I feel she doing something in my soul I really do!! And its driving me crazy as hell now
talking perfect sense, as always Terri, thank you
So glad it was helpful! ❤
Thank you for making this video 🙏
You are so welcome ❤
Great and very insightful message indeed and thanks for sharing.
Thanks for watching ❤️
My wife lied about her past (body county etc.). It is not big deal, but still lies are lies. 30 years down the road I still have problems trusting her. Lies destroy relationships.
Her past? ...is just that the past everyone has a past appreciation the person she became for you if you can there is a lot of shitty people out there the grass ain't greener on the other side
@@MzTeriberry There is no places for lies in a marriage period
Wow, Terri thanks. I learned so much, even though I have been looking at relationship issues, with counseling, for a while. Example, positive projecting,. I now realise, it's a big problem of mine.🤓
I feel you on that! ❤️
Great video. Subscribed.
❤️❤️❤️
Hello everyone! I am actively working on my issues for the sake of my relationship.
I am cheering you on, Lisa ❤️
That's the problem I was trusting and then overthrown. I'm disappointed now that it's hard for me to trust men.
I see you ❤️
Great video❤️
1) How do u trear yourself?
2) In what areas of yoir life are you good at keeping your word to yourself?
3) What were the red flags you ignored about people who later turned out to be untrustworthy?
🔥🔥🔥
Good morning Terri! I’m new here, I just watched my first video and found it to be so helpful! Looking forward to this video and more 😎
Welcome Julie, so glad to have you here! Thanks for watching ❤️
Thank u mam,
Please tell us something about how to be less neurotic in behaviour and reactions,and respond calmly,by self soothing🙏❤️
I have a video on self-soothing here: th-cam.com/video/X8i2uaqyU4Y/w-d-xo.html ❤
I'm working on myself ❤ I'm losing my husband because of me I nag and complain everyday because of my past he's such amazing man now he's lost
Hi Terri, thanks for this video. I implicitly trusted my wife for 20 years but recently found out that she'd hidden her 'friendship' with a male colleague for the last 3 years. They met regularly at work for coffees and chats, and also went out for dinners with other friends but for some reason he was the only one she never mentioned to me. I found out about their friendship from reading her Facebook messages ( with her permission of course) and this has really hurt me and I can't trust her anymore. She says that her relationship is inconsequential so she never mentioned it, but that isn't how it comes across from the messages. She promised to never hide any meetings or interactions with him from me again and I learnt to trust her again. But last week she met him and planned a dinner with him and other friends and lied to me about it. Unfortunately I found out and now I am really unable to trust her at all. This led me to your video. I really don't know what to do anymore. I love her to bits but can't deal with this deception and secrecy which is affecting my ability to love her as much as I am capable of.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion, and so sorry to hear you're going through this. 💕 Have you spoken to her about it, and asked her why she felt the need to lie about it after agreeing to not hide it from you? Have you told her in plain terms how it looks to you? (Like, can she understand how this is a breach of trust, or is she still downplaying it?) Is she willing to go to couple's therapy- is that something you're interested in?
I would have been clear and set boundaries upon seeing the messages, like, "I am deeply uncomfortable with what I'm reading here, especially given that it's been going on for 3 years. I would like to request that you stop having dinner with him. If you do, then..." and I would have suggested a consequence. But since we're past that, if this is a deal breaker for you, I would tell her that and ask for a very honest conversation about why she went behind your back and what thoughts she's having about this entire situation. Like, "You asked me to trust you when you said you wouldn't hide meetings with him and then you did exactly that. Why?" I hope that helps. I'd also suggest getting clear on what kind of outcome you're looking for with this. If there's no path to regaining trust, then you might need to be honest about that with yourself, too. 💕
@@terri_cole thank you for your advice. She said she cared about my feelings and didn't want me to be upset knowing that she'd met him and was planning on going to dinner with him. To be honest, I never asked her not to go out as a group when he was attending as well. I think she was planning on telling me after the dinner that he had turned up as well, although I can't say for definite as the dinner got cancelled after her deception was discovered. I am sure she's not having a physical affair, but I'm worried that at some point she got too emotionally involved with this man and is now trying to hide it. That was when our relationship was going through some issues as well.
I think marriage counselling is the only way forward. I want to trust her but need her to prove to me that she's trustworthy.
I'll set my boundaries clear (learning from your videos) and give her one more chance and if there are any more untruths or deception, it'll mean the end of our relationship I'm afraid.
I think setting boundaries and making them crystal clear along with marriage counselling sounds like a good plan. Wishing you the best ❤️
I could never trust my parents because of abuse and domestic violence. Then went into relationships to young and was cheated on by every man i was with except my current partner. The problem is he lied to me about certain things in the beginning of our relationship to "push me away" because he was scared of getting close at first. He came clean about all those things but i am still riddled with anxiety and paranoia at times to the point where i feel physically ill. If i ask for reassurance he gets very angry and tells me i should be over it by now. We havent even been together a year. He has a lot of good qualities but i feel its impossible to learn to trust especially because he gets angry when i struggle which makes me feel more paranoid. its a horrible cycle and i really care about this relationship. He said hes willing to get counseling. I dont want to waste my time if i wont be able to heal or ever feel safe. Id rather be alone if i am going to feel this way my whole life.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending love 💕 If your partner is getting angry and not giving you the time or space you need, I would say that's a red flag. You both need to create the feeling of emotional safety in the relationship. That takes time, especially if the relationship started out with lies. You have a right to how you feel and it's not as easy as just "being over it." If you care about the relationship deeply and he is willing to get counseling, I would look into that. But if you don't feel safe telling him how you feel because he gets angry, I would really take an honest look at the relationship and what it is giving you. That is not a healthy dynamic. Your partner should care about how you feel and why, especially if it involves their actions. I do believe it's possible to heal, but you need to have a safe container in which to do that. 💕
Some videos you might find helpful:
5 traits of healthy relationships: th-cam.com/video/rxhOqiYvWh0/w-d-xo.html
20 tips for a healthy relationship: th-cam.com/video/jrzowFH2K_k/w-d-xo.html
(Both of these can give you a good idea of what a healthy relationship looks like, which can be important if you never saw it modeled.)
How to learn to trust again: th-cam.com/video/G2itCfc8jEw/w-d-xo.html
(More of a step-by-step process than this video)
The Toxic Impact of Childhood Neglect in Adult Relationships: th-cam.com/video/GF_24BNdR2o/w-d-xo.html (since you mentioned your parents were abusive)
I hope this helps a little 💕
Hi, I think I'm having trust issues, I have this wonderful woman in my life, I only realized this morning how emotionally abusive I've been to her, she has been keeping her feelings to herself because she tries to protect our relationship, today she pointed out everything I've been throwing at her it broke me because this was the first time I saw my woman crying, I want to fix this before it damages the both of us, I love this woman and I do not want to lose her, please help me.
I would start by truly listening to her, showing that you understand where she's coming from, asking her what she needs from you, and figuring out a path forward together. I go into how to create emotional safety in a relationship here: th-cam.com/video/f2um7z0Imug/w-d-xo.html
She asked me to give her space to heal from the hurting, I agreed but honestly my insecurities are getting the better of me, what should I do avoid over thinking?
I would recommend getting the help of a therapist or trusted professional to help you work through the overthinking and insecurities, if it's accessible to you. ❤️ I have a video on how to find one here: th-cam.com/video/KanMmTUeUlQ/w-d-xo.html
I also have a video on how to get over your ex and stop blaming yourself, which might be helpful for the overthinking, even if this isn't the exact situation you're in: th-cam.com/video/gig4uJ-O0M8/w-d-xo.html
Thank you, I'll check the videos as of the moment I can't visit a therapist
I'm battling to trust my partner (and everyone else for that matter).
I'm sorry to hear that 💕 I have another video on trust here that may provide some insights: th-cam.com/video/G2itCfc8jEw/w-d-xo.html
I have a suspicion she has trust issues.
Thinking back, i ised to get in trouble for dream me cheating on her vs awake/ real me NOT cheating on her.
Crazy
Thank you
You're welcome!
My girlfriend’s trust issues are destroying our relationship and I don’t know what to do anymore.
So sorry to hear that 💕 Are either of you open to couple's counseling to work through it with a third party? Do you or your girlfriend know what is at the root of her trust issues?
Trying to overcome my issues with trusting in a new relationship I feel I am constantly trying to sabotage things and see things that are not really there I don’t want to be this way anymore I just don’t have anyone to talk or chat with regarding this
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this 💕 These videos may help you dig a little deeper into what might be going on: th-cam.com/video/VIH5O5P-hLw/w-d-xo.html, th-cam.com/video/WsnPXDmiumk/w-d-xo.html, th-cam.com/video/2DBgSGDRS1Y/w-d-xo.html, and th-cam.com/video/Rg7UZO_L_Wk/w-d-xo.html
Hey I'm BELLADONNA NICOLE FERGUSON. You're amazing!!!!
Thank you, I appreciate you being here!
Hello everyone 😊
Hi there Kristen! ❤️
What if my boyfriend doesn’t trust so he cheats bcs he his afraid to trust and suffer? What To do to gain is trust?
A cheater is not worth anything in a relationship they will always cheat
Terr, I have a question about repeating realities. You were talking about trust this time, but what if the problem is emotional unavailablity of both of the parents?
In my case, because of that I supose, I am emotional unavailable in a way(not 100% bc I am trying not to be like my parents, and sometimes I disconect from the present moment), but I am attracting friends and guys who are often em. unavailable. I mean, how to stop that circle with attracting and how to be more em. available for others? Hope you understood🤗
You might want to check out my conversation with Vienna Pharaon - th-cam.com/video/iYaS_SBA7Rs/w-d-xo.html She goes into detail on sort of the 'reverse' repeating reality that may help to shed some light on your situation ❤️
As for being more emotionally available for others, I did a video recently on creating emotional safety in relationships which may be a good starting point: th-cam.com/video/f2um7z0Imug/w-d-xo.html
Thank you 💓💞I will definitely check that
my boyfriend has trust issus and he's acussed me of cheating when i didn't. he ask where i am makes feel like he don't trust me. I wish my boyfriend can watch this. I have trust issus to but i never once accused him. I hate living my life like this. My boyfriend don't trust anyone or anything. I'm having hard time enjoying my life.
I'm sorry to hear that, Kristen 💕 Have you spoken to your boyfriend about how this makes you feel?
@@terri_cole told him makes me feel like a bad girlfriend i feel that i feel guty.thats how i found out he has trust issuis
Trust issues can be difficult to navigate, especially if the other person isn't willing to work on them. If you want to stay with your boyfriend I would ask what specifically would help him feel like he could trust you again. But if there's zero reason for him to accuse you of cheating, I'd also be careful that he's not trying to be controlling or manipulative. I talk about that here: th-cam.com/video/8sBKq8cRs78/w-d-xo.html
@@terri_cole I hope its not my falute for people having trust issus. I'm always telling the truth to him at least. but somtime his trust issuis hurts me
@@terri_coleI think he knows. I feel I believe. I had another argument yesterday. 😢 He sees I'm getting bullied but he handled the hard way he was yelling and shouting at me me on the phone and swearing 😢 he didn't handle it very well 😔 and he doesn't like seeing multiple Facebook accounts . Apparently my Facebook account is affecting his trust I feel like I'm losing his trust 😢 his trust issues are hurting me 😢 he was making me cry 💔😢 so I didn't want to talk to him after all this fight I wanted space 😭😢 I definitely needed it he was still saying babe are you there .
Me and my girlfriend we got into an argument she believes that I have trust issues
I'm sorry to hear that, Marc ❤️ Do you feel that way about yourself?
Hi , I’m Tina
I have trust issues
I see you, Tina 💕
i know we all have trust issues but it wouldnt be triggered if our partner doesnt do something suspicious. is it wrong to ask her, whos calling and why is deleting every text after texting anyone even her family. i dont get triggered if she wasnt being sus, if u know what i mean. what should i do? am i too much or is she really hiding something. idk
I can't say without knowing more. Are you positive she's deleting all of her texts? I would say the best thing to do is talk to her about it. Tell her how this is making you feel. Be prepared to tell her what *would* make you feel safer in this situation, and also be prepared that she may feel like she doesn't need to tell you about all the communication she has. You'll need to find a compromise. ❤️
I learned that my father didn't value me at all, that women are unfaithful, and that people are violent and scary. Doesn't make a good life.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️
hi again I know i commented one mouth ago but I remeaber i said my boyfriend has trust issis. he also has anger prombems to 😢 he was yelling and swearing at me on the phone today I feel like i'm losing his trust. its happing on facebook. I don't feel happy anymore on facebook. My boyfriend is being rude and not being nice to me. I thanking about deleting my facebook cuz i'm also being cyber bullied 😢 my boyfriend knows but he handle it the wrong way by yelling and swearing at me. He's not helping me much. His trust issuis are hurting me and making me depressed. He made me cry.
Hey there- I responded to your other comment regarding your boyfriend's behavior specifically, but I think it's perfectly okay for you to delete your Facebook. That sounds like a healthy boundary to set, especially if you're getting bullied. 💕 Social media boundaries are important for us to have!
Marc herring
i dont get the pdf file/mail to my hotmail :(
Please reach out to my team and let them know: support @ terricole.com (without the spaces) ❤️
Why I can’t trust my wife cause she was talking to this man that she had sexual relations with one time that what she told me but I thick it was more than one time so how can I trust her
That's for you to decide- what would make her feel trustworthy again, if anything? What would make you feel safe in the relationship? You may need to set boundaries and tell her how uncomfortable her talking to this man makes you feel, and see how she reacts. Couple's counseling may be helpful, too.
Mam which country u from😊😊
Do not trust.
I am harshita Shrivastava well that name is given by my parents
Welcome, glad to have you here!