How To Deal With An Emotionally Immature Partner & When To Leave the Relationship
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 มิ.ย. 2024
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Being in a relationship with an emotionally immature partner can be confusing, frustrating and hurtful. You may want to negotiate and work through issues in the relationship, or have honest conversations about your thoughts and feelings, but they either wont or they can't. So is the relationship a lost cause? Is there nothing you can do to build a deeper sense of openness, honesty and trust in the relationship? The answer is yes. There are ways you can approach your partner that increase the likelihood that they will learn to address and acknowledge their thoughts, feelings and emotions in a more mature and respectful way - and in this talk, I teach you 5. I also talk about when it might be time to end a relationship with an emotionally immature partner.
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ABOUT JULIA:
Julia Kristina, MA, is a speaker, teacher, master therapist and mental wealth coach who helps smart, highly sensitive, heart centred humans get past anxiety, stress, and self-doubt so they can have better: Better relationships, a better life and feel better about themselves.
Through her membership program, The Shift Society, she helps people identify their deep rooted thoughts and beliefs that are keeping them stuck and struggling, and then teaches them how to take charge of their minds and emotions so they can thrive in all areas of their lives.
Julia’s expertise has been featured in Inc magazine, Psych Central, Mind Body Green and numerous other publications, podcasts and television outlets. She has also given talks in front of audiences of hundreds on stages across North America. Videos on her TH-cam channel have been watched more than 15 million times and she has built a community of over 375,000 people across social media platforms. When she’s not helping her clients and students increase their emotional intelligence and mental strength, she’s out on some kind of adventure with her three children in Vancouver, Canada.
An emotionally immature avoidant partner is a nightmare, absolutely nothing can get resolved. Anything you say and do can and will be used against you!
In my experience it is completely futile to try to communicate with an emotionally immature person. They just don't see the world the way others do and they have no idea that their behavior can be inappropriate.
You are right except for the part when you say they don't have any idea that their behavior's inappropriate: oh Yes they (do) have (every) idea that their behavior's (inappropriate) - for sure!!!!
It’s like trying to kick water up the stairs
I think that's the point, that it's pointless and you have to set boundaries in order to proceed in your life.
Agree!
@@Clevelandsteamer324 So true!
I had to let the person go, it became overwhelming. Especially when the person isn’t putting in the work.
In my situation my partner shuts down. It’s like he’s in his own little world. When I attempt to talk to something serious or my feelings he will either not respond or he’ll respond by talking about something totally unrelated. I remember once telling him about something traumatic from my childhood and he responded by changing the subject and talking about how much he likes chik-fil-A. So now I’ll politely repeat myself but he will simply not respond and claim he didn’t hear me. When I lose my cool and explode on him he just sits there with a weird confused look on his face. Then he will respond to what I’m saying but with a very short sighted response. I’m so over it
Life is too short. All this is way too much suffering. Learn how to be happy with yourself and continue to be with others that already know how to operate on a higher standard. Geez! I felt so exhausted just listening to all of this. It's like trying to talk to a 3rd grader.
The last few words of what you said are my reality. And I haven’t been able to cut the cord. It’s very unhealthy for me.
HAD to let go (after literal years of relationship) but the part of addressing the issue not the person works on anyone, that really resonates xo
This is the mistake I made in my relationship many years ago.
She was an emotionally immature person, but I was immature and stubborn as well, even if I never had emotional issues.
I don't have a partner but I do have parents, especially my dad, who are emotionally immature. I think this applies to all close relationships. Communicating, setting boundaries and accepting different ideas is crucial to having a good relationship. Sometimes, when I tried addressing issues with my dad, he doesn't have the emotional maturity to properly address it, shuttting down the conversation. However, by knowing he doesn't have the emotional maturity, I can understand why and not blame him for being a selfish or terrible person.
You leave. No one is going to change. Get out right away
Set a timeline. Otherwise you're gonna get stuck being their mommy.
or Daddy
Great video❤
I think I'm the immature one really
Self realisation is the first step towards the healing proces❤ Namaste
This is great.
Thank you.
How do you respond when you use "I" statements about how you feel and your partner says, "your feelings aren't reality"
How to Deal with an Emotionally Immature Partner & When to Leave the relationship.
Julia, thanks for bringing up this topic in today’s TH-cam video.
I am not in a romantic relationship; however, I think these things still relate to family members and friends.
Here are my notes:
* A relationship with an immature partner can leave you feeling lonely, isolating, not meeting your needs, not sure how to meet their needs.
* We can't change anyone else, but we can have a managed mind to help change any situation.
What to do:
* What types of things are they immature about?
* Don't be afraid of addressing the person's behavior.
* Don't lose your "steady". Their immature response does not create yours.
* Communicate what is okay with you, and what is not okay with you. (Clear, clean, and classy)
* Open up conversations using language like: "There is an issue here. Let's Talk about it."
* Reframe the problem as "The two of us against the issue."
* Accept some differences.
Notable Quotes:
* "Resentment in a relationship is poison, and once enough resentment has been built it is almost impossible to recover from it." - Dr. John Gottman
* "60 % of all conflict in relationships is unresolvable." - Dr. John Gottman
Thank you Julia, this was really helpful.
What I found useful is changing the perspective to we have an issue rather than you do this.
Everything!!!!!………. Absolutely everything……………oh dear God………I think it is called covert narcissism
Hi,Julia! I have not a Partner for a very long Time and looking not for one ! I AM NOT INTERESTING ON IT!
With one condition:
That immature partner shouldn't be a narcissist. If he or she is a narcissist, you are in big trouble.
It really doesn't matter though. If they're immature and show no willingness to learn or change, labeling them a narcissist or not doesn't really matter. All that matters is getting away from them with your sanity intact
@@Nick-kf3io
You are right, Nick, 100%
i tried to comminicate about her emotional neglect, i dont say she does it, but she doesnt respond to my bid for affections, when i bring it up, she gets upset and says i always start things, thats the way she is, but she wasnt this way before.
That is the problem. It’s alike masking that avoidants and autistic people are capable of doing during courtship. Fair to say that I neglected some red flags too. However I could never have thought in my wildest dream in what situationship I find myself now.
Shiva, I recognise you
Way too much hand movement... Making me dizzy!
Great video❤