WEIRD WAYS WIDOWS GRIEVE: Grief triggers and strange things I do since my husband died
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 มี.ค. 2021
- Weird Ways Widows Grieve: Here is a list of grief triggers and stragne things I do since my husband died. Share some of your grief triggers or unusual ways you cope with grief.
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○ FINDING HAPPINESS AFTER MY HUSBAND DIED - • FINDING HAPPINESS AFTE...
○ CHANGE YOURSELF, NOT YOUR SURROUNDINGS - • CHANGE YOURSELF, NOT Y...
○ 12 THINGS I LEARNED WHEN I BECAME A WIDOW - • 12 THINGS I LEARNED WH...
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What weird ways do you grieve?
Before Bill died I asked him to buy me a charm bracelet from Tiffany & Co. took a couple years but he gave it to me on our final Christmas. Knowing I wouldn’t continue to wear my wedding rings I wanted something from him that would be the basis for lots of new memories. Over the years I’ve collected charms for important moments. I find though that I wear them a while and then remove them again. Somehow Bill feels closer when that bracelet holds only the one charm he put on it, a tiny letter Q to remind me that all things are possible all of the time. When people wonder why I haven’t filled the whole bracelet I can’t explain.
@@virginiagill5902 that’s a wow moment for me Virginia. My husband Larry did the same ! He bought me a Pandora. ❤️
On the rare occasions I get together with his lifetime friends, I cherish the memories they share with me. And let's me know that we all miss him.
I would smell his favorite sweatshirt.
I too slept with hubby’s used pillow cases, did change them (unlike my own) until I could no long smell his smell on them. Took more than a few months.
When my wife was healthy, we used to take long walks together while holding hands. She got sick and lost her mobility about four years ago. She could no longer take long walks so I stopped walking as well and stayed home with her. Since she passed, I started taking a long walk every day again. I start each walk by asking Michelle if she wants to go for a walk today. Then I walk with my right hand slightly cupped (as if we were holding hands) and I talk to her during the walk as if she was right there with me.
That’s very sweet, thanks for sharing! #widfam
sounds like what i did, only we took long drives and ate out all the time. when he passed i went for long drives as if he were still with me, and i ate out a lot. i have still talk to him and i drove accross country like he did. i miss him. we did it all together.
@@rebeccanewman7531⁰
This is not weird. This is the way to keep her alive. I shall try to do this to lessen my grief and give me some sort of comfort even if temporarily.
@@SUJAMUKgreat
My husband died in 2015 at the age of 53. I didn’t imagine that all the weird words and phrases we would say and all the 34 years of shared memories would be changed. I have no one else to talk to about those memories, to joke with about those times. It all feels lost. My kids and I are making new memories but I miss that shared experience. Part of you truly dies with them.
This is so true, how much your whole life changes without them! #widfam
My husband died 12 days ago. I was so happy that I have found these videos. The pain is so much at times I can't breath. I am 54 and never thought I would be living this now. I can use all help anymore can offer. Thanks from Dawn
Dawn, you are in the hardest part of your process! We are here if you need us. Feel free to join our FB group at www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow
My husband died August 8th 2021. Its surreal. 93 days. Im also 54. Please keep breathing.
I’m about your age & recently lost my beloved husband of 35 years. I have never known such pain, but I encourage you to feel it. Do not try to numb , medicate, or ignore it or you will not heal. I also encourage to go through a Griefshare program, which is offered at various churches throughout the nation. It is helpful & you will not feel so utterly alone. I pray God comforts you & all of us broken-hearted widows/widowers as only He can.🙏🏼✝️💚
I’m 54 too! My husband died last month, December 21st from Covid. Right now I am a mess. Always crying but my faith, the Lord gets me through. I miss him so bad! 💔
Sending comfort. My husband died 4 weeks ago. I cry every day. I hope knowing there are so many of us here will help you feel less alone. I’ve learned to accept crying in public because I can’t always predict what will trigger me. Take care of yourself. You’ll feel very raw for quite a while.
I still wear his robe after seven years. I laugh at it now but a few months after his passing, I found one of his stray socks. I sat in the middle of the floor, bawling and hugging the eventual soggy sock because we both lost our mates.
Awwww well that sounds accurate. Feel free to join our FB group! Www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow
Pair of cardinals is sitting in my backyard regularly. ❤
My husband passed away 13 yrs. ago after 7 yrs. with colon cancer. I may have complicated grief; I still miss him so much.
IF you still feel stuck in your grief, I would suggest seeing a counselor or a doctor. Or maybe Grief Share? #WIDFAM
My husband passed away a month ago. Struggling to get through the days. I’m not the kind of person who likes being alone. His presence is being missed. There are so many layers of grief. The days are so long.
Yes, so true. Thanks for watching #widfam
I can relate so much with your videos. I still have my husband’s robe hanging in the bathroom. Any time I get rid of anything that was his no matter it’s value I feel like I’m getting rid of a piece of him. Thank you for sharing your grieving process with us.
Thanks for watching! #WIDFAM
Mary, I can so relate to this. Have been slowly going through closets to clear out his clothing and feel I am gradually removing him from the home.
@@OneHappyWidow my husband painted around the round circle opening for his toothbrush so he could easily see it. So now whenever I take my toothbrush in or out of that same painted round slot, I say “thank you Bill.”
Barbara
I have kept my husband robe and a few shirts so comfortable to wear.
By coincidence, I'm wearing my husband's fleece hoodie while I'm watching your videos. He wore this to the hospital for chemo and radiation before he died. I have his shampoo, and toiletries upstairs. I started laughing when you sniffed the deodorant. I've done the same thing with his soap. I also felt the life insurance was blood money when I bought a new house and cried like a baby when I sold our old house. I told myself he is away on a trip and doesn't have cell phone service. He is waiting on me to get there. He died of lymphoma in Oct 2019. My mom died 6 weeks ago. I took care of them both. It's a relief because they are not suffering and hopefully he is showing her around up there. It's lonely though.
Yes, it is a lonely state of being! Thanks for sharing. #WIDFAM
When I saw you smell his deodorant I burst into tears for I do the same thing. My husband, the love of my life for 59 years passed away seven months ago after a lengthy illness. His hats are still hanging by the back door his shoes are still in the shoe cabinet by the back door his room is still like it was the morning he left. I am in such denial, in my mind I think I’ll wake up from this horrible nightmare and he will be here. I know he’s not coming back I just want the pain to go away.
Oh, my heart breaks for you! It sounds like your mind is in acceptance, but you aren't ready for your heart to follow yet. Seven months is still fresh, so you may simply need more time and time with friends to bring you into the light. If that isn't helping, you might consider therapy, a doctor, Grief Share, church activities, etc. Let us know how you progress, and reach out if you ever need to! #WIDFAM
Please talk to someone that knows him also to keep you balanced 😘
The nightmare you want to wake up from. That's how I feel too.
Big hug to you. What you wrote has helped me.xx🙏
I understand completely, I still can't I had so many details to take care of right after my husband death that I didn't have time to thank. Now its hitting home and I keep expecting him to walk through the door. It helps to know we are not alone on this journey.
God Bless🙏
@@evannegregory5509
No dear you are not alone.
Praying for you.
Thanks for making me feel normal
Thanks for watching! #WIDFAM
I'm so happy to come across your site. I lost my army veteran husband December 27, 2019. He died from cancer and I felt like I was the only one who was happy he was gone. I hated seeing him in extreme pain and it was a relief to know he wasn't suffering any more. But I felt guilty for feeling like this. I am the first of our friends to become a widow. I didn't know if I was a terrible person or if my feelings were normal. Listening to you has helped. Thank you. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Yes, I felt this same thing, followed by guilt! Now I realize it is totally normal! #WIDFAM
Same here ladies. I was relieved that my husband wasn’t suffering anymore. The pain was so horrible...so much pain medicine. I steeled myself, my emotions, to get through it, and to be able to care for him. When it was over I had no emotion. It took 3 months to feel anything. I was relieved he was out of pain, but I felt guilty at the same time. He sure was a trooper though. He never complained but when the pain became unbearable, it would almost take his breath away. He passed away in July 2020. As time goes by, the emotion is coming forward.
I have a 42 year old autistic son that is mentally on the level of a very young child. He is also non verbal. When he comes home (lives in an assisted living home) for a visit he has to have his Dad’s cologne put on after his shower. Shaun gets so excited when I tell him he smells like his dad and I hug him. This is our way of remembering. 💕 BTW my husband passed 4 yrs ago.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is true that smells are the strongest link to memories! I bet your son can feel his dad's presence when he breathes in the cologne. What a special way to bond over him! I also have a son on the spectrum...I pray he is able to live on his own one day. I think he CAN, but it's more or a question of WILL he? I guess time will tell. Thanks for sharing! #WIDFAM
My husband passed 2 months ago and tragic. We cremated him and he's in the closet. I bought an urn, but can't put him in it. I couldn't bury him, just couldn't. It wasn't what he wanted. I am breaking apart, but you are a relief to hear how you and your family copes
We all do what we need to in order to process through the early stages of grief. Thanks for sharing! #widfam
My husband died in august 2022
He also wanted to be cremated. He is in his art room in a large cedar chest . But I feel good that he's near .in ashes only. But we both had a crazy sense of humor. I cry here and there but it will get better. Best wishes to you
I lost Don Jan 5, 2021. Each night before we went to sleep, we would say to each other, "Sweet dreams, and God rest on your pillow". I still touch his pillow each night and say those words. I have never changed his pillow case since he passed, and I still smell it, and can smell his scent on that pillow. I will probably never change that pillow case. I just found you today and have been watching some of your vids, and they do help. Thank you.
Thanks for watching! #WIDFAM
I lost Mark from a stroke in 2015. We were married 12 and a half years. It has been the hardest journey ,but I am healing. Thanks for your insight. So true you works.
Jay p so sorry to hear your story. Lost my husband October 2020. It’s been hell, but reading all these comments and watching videos like these helps me lot. I know many many people had to go thru similar experiences and made it, I know I can make it too!
@@beautyRest1 I wish I had these video to realize it is normal. I think things finally got better when I accepted he was gone and I needed to move forward with my life. Now when I think of him I can smile and laugh. I will see him for eternity in heaven, but while I am here I still have to be happy. He would want that for me. Good luck on you journey.
I so relate to your video. My beautiful husband of 53 years passed 3 weeks ago. I also took his clothes out of the closet soon after he was gone and gave them to a homeless shelter. I miss him every minute of the day . His picture and favorite hats are on his night stand. I’m still in la,la, land with acceptance that he is gone and I’m still waiting to crash. I have a hard time accepting that I never see him again on this earth. My biggest trigger is going into the backyard and looking at all of the things he would normally take care of and seeing his tools.
Thanks so much for sharing your journey,it is helping so many of us especially those of us recently widowed. God is using you to help us.☺️🙏🙏
You are in the initial stage of grief, and I know that can be so overwhelming. Please be kind to yourself, and take one day at a time. People are likely to offer help int he beginning, and then they sort of go off and continue living their lives, so take whatever help is offered in the beginning while you can! Feel free to reach out whenever you need to. #widfam
Ok, so maybe I'm not as weird as I thought. My husband had been working in the garden before he got sick. I found his tools all rusty out there. I brought them inside and cleaned them up...for him. (Vinegar removes rust...who knew!?)
He and I had covid really bad. It took him and left me unable to smell anything. I wish I could smell his deodorant! Believe me, I have tried. I hug his coat.
Yes. Same with me. Please be comforted in the remembrance of your love you had together. You must go through your grief but choose to be happy not miserable. We can't bring them back but they will never leave our hearts.
God bless and comfort you.
I have a drawer that has a few of his dirty shirts that have his scent on them. I go in there to smell them when I need to be close to him. I also wear old athletic socks and they are now getting holes in them. I can throw them away, but I just can’t wear the new ones I bought. One day, I won’t have any more socks left. I completely agree with what you talk about blood money. I’m debit free and I feel so guilty because it is only because he is gone. He stressed so much about money and paying for the kids college. It hurts so much that he had to pass so we could afford it. Thank you for your videos. I feel so alone and different than other people now. You make me feel normal in a way.
We widows are all in the weird club, but we are normal to each other, since we can understand why we do the weird things we do! I'm glad you found the channel, and hopefully you will know that you aren't alone in this journey! #WIDFAM
I slept with my husband's shirt until his smell was gone.
Yep, same with the pillowcase! Eventually, it does fade, unfortunately! #WIDFAM
Me too!!
Me too
Me too
Thank you for shareing I don’t feel so wierd now I do a lot of the things you mentioned . Bless you
I kept my husband's cap on a hook for years after his passing thinking I needed something to remember him by, finally I came to the decision that he wasn't coming back and I didn't need a physical item to remember him my memories were enough
Thanks for sharing! #WIDFAM
My husband passed in 09 and I still talk to him about the 7kids and dozen grandchildren. I still miss him.just had 3years of counseling & going to have a date this weekend and I'm terrified 🤭✌️💖🙏stay strong fellow widow's 💞🌞
Have fun on your date, let us know how it goes! #WIDFAM
My husband was gone for 2 years before i realized i didn’t have to have supper eat at 5 o’clock.,REALLY JAN !!
It is strange to have that sense of freedom, even if it's not something we wanted, we still get it and it's a weird transition!
I did the same thing with my toenail polish. We took a vacation to Savannah, GA in October and he got killed at the first of November. I had painted my toenails for that vacation and I just couldn't take it off. I felt like it was the only thing about me that was the same as when he was still alive. Yeah, that's weird. I smelled his pillow and his cologne and even his hats. Gross? Maybe... but I don't care. I have been struggling with PTSD because he got killed on his motorcycle right in front of me. I am grateful that I was there because I know he didn't suffer, but reliving that accident over and over again is really hard. I am so sorry about your husband. Mine has been gone 4 months now. Have a great day. I truly enjoy your channel.
Glad to know I'm not the only one with the toenail polish thing lol. Weird! But like you, I don't care. No one is grading us on our grieving skills, we are just doing what we can. Do you live in GA? We are in Senoia.
Thanks for sharing! #WIDFAM
I live in East Tennessee. Not too far from Georgia. I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend. 😁
I relive the time leading up to my husband's death and question my every decision. He was really critically sick all of 2020. I often wonder if any of my acts of omission or commission contributed in any way. What could I have done or said to help him? It's not easy.
@@OneHappyWidow I can’t believe you live in Senoia! That’s where I live. I’ve been watching your channel and had no idea we live in the same town. My beloved husband of 41 years died unexpectedly on August 10th of this year from complications of undiagnosed Obstructive Sleep Apnea and a vitamin B12 deficiency caused by a medication he was on. When I got in the shower he was watching a movie, when I got out he was barely conscious. The 911 operator assumed he was having a heart attack and told me to lie him on his back and start chest compressions. That was the point when his airway closed and he passed away. In the case of a blocked airway, the patient should always be leaned forward, never backwards. We were HS sweethearts and he was the love of my life. I am a widow at age 59. We were cheated out of our retirement together. It feels like my life is over.
@@pamcornelius9122 oh wow, what a small world! We actually just moved away from Senoia and bought a house in Milner, just outside of Griffin. I still work over there, though, so I’m driving to that area every day still. I teach at Starr’s Mill. We lived in Heritage Pointe subdivision before we moved. We must get together for coffee sometime! #widfam
My husband just passed away from cancer at age 36, he was a firefighter. I know the chemicals that firefighters are exposed to is what caused his. I'm glad you touched on the fumes. Our 4 kids think I'm crazy that I make them shower after an evening bonfire ❤
Oh I am a bit anal about toxins…so I totally get it! #widfam
I am 64 and was widowed at 44, and although my life changed drastically over the last 20 years which included remarriage and personal battle with cancer 2 years after my husband passed suddenly at age 49 from a heart attack, he is very much on my mind now as I am getting ready to retire in a year and those golden years we dreamed of spending together will not happen. But, still consider myself very blessed that I was married to the most caring and loving man on the planet for 15 years, and doubly blessed that my current husband is as equally caring and loving. Bottom line our spouses were our family no different than parents, children, siblings, and dear friends we may have lost and will miss the rest of our lives and that is the sad part of love.
Prayers and hugs to you! And I agree with your statement that loss comes along with having people in our life that we love. #WIDFAM
When my husband first got sick, he had to pull over one evening and sit in a parking lot until he felt stronger. He called and told our son where he was but didn't want me to know he was feeling bad. Our son went against his wishes and told me. I immediately headed out to the parking lot and luckily drove in without him knowing I was there. He was parked right up front near the road. I parked a little ways out behind his truck and kept watch over him until I saw him drive off. I gave him a few minutes to get down the road then pulled out behind him keeping my distance so he wouldn't know I was there. Whenever I pass that parking lot I look over at that spot up by the road and it's like I can still see him sitting there in his truck - the strange or not so strange thing I do is I yell out his name and tell him I love him every time I drive past.
Yes, we can relate! #widfam
Love your channel. Thank you for doing this. Mike died in June 2017 after nearly 30 years together. It was sudden and unexpected. I wore my rings for two years, then I was ready to take them off. I tried wearing his wedding ring on a chain at first but it didn’t feel right. I had our rings made into a pendant, my rings and stone cut into a swirl inside his. Its perfect. I bought a widow’s ring with a spinner inscribed with part of the poem, It is well with my soul. He also stayed home (retired) while I worked. My biggest trigger was/still is walking to the car at the end of the day. I would call to let him know I was leaving and to start dinner. There was hardly a day the first year I wasn’t crying by the time I got to the car. I also texted him for awhile. I just needed to talk to him. The grandkids and my sister did too. I wish I had a recording of his voice. I’d give anything to hear it again.
Hugs to you! #WIDFAM
I managed to save one voice recording of him telling me to come get him from the hospital. I had taken our grandson to buy some jeans as he had outgrown everything.
My husband died Oct 2020. Our marriage was not great, so I’m in shock how bad I am grieving. I feel somewhat guilty for still feeling well, no major health problems. I wake up and try to find joy when I see the blue sky, hear the birds singing and so on. Then I get sad, because I know he can’t enjoy all these things anymore.
It is complicated for sure, especially when your marriage might not have been perfect. But remember that NO marriage is perfect, and some people make their late spouse into a saint because they died. But we know that o one was perfect...but I find it easier to remember the positive things about him and try to forget about the negative things. My marriage was far from perfect, as my husband was disabled even before he got cancer, and he suffered from PTSD leftover from Iraq...so we had some moments! But I know he was a good man who cared about his family, and I focus on that. It's hard to not feel survivor's guilt, but what we CAN do is live life for them, since they can't. Hugs and prayers to you! #WIDFAM
I've experienced loss by way of my parents and brother in a very shor6time, I'm not even 50 yet...grieving sucks 😞... one minute you are ok, next a thought wanders in an your sad.
@@tracipassmore5505 that’s so true. I hope you feel better and find your joy again in life!!
It's hard for me to drive the same roads we traveled. So many memories.
I change the flowers on his grave regularly, and it helps me.
Oh my goodness, you hit the nail on the head. Don't judge my situation, how I've raised my children on my own, or any of
it. Nobody asked how I felt about it, it was the cards that i was dealt. My husband committed suicide, but I say
that he took his life, which reminds me
that it was his decision, and neither me
nor my children had a part in that.
That is how you have to look at it, it was his decision. And it affects so many people...it's easy for others to judge us when they haven't been in our shoes! #widfam
Wow. In 3yrs how your channel has grown.
I have been a widow since 2016. Our children were adults so I know I was fortunate.
3 yrs later our 31 yr old daughter passed, leaving a husband and three children. Thank God for the grandkids!
I’m so sorry to hear of your multiple losses! Thanks for watching and sharing your story with us #widfam
I find visiting the cemetery comforting. It is located in a rural area and last visit, as I left, a bald eagle was soaring overhead. He would have loved it!
I am a recent widow my husband passed away April 7, 2021 of Lung and Bone Cancer at home. I am still so broken it is so hard with out him. We was together 23 years. Your videos have helped me a little.
I'm glad this one helped. Feel free to watch the others! #widfam
I still have his cologne and it is 6 yrs. Very comforting on those difficult times
Thanks for sharing! #WIDFAM
My hubby passes 2 months ago. I find comfort in sleeping with his pacemaker under my pillow. (he was creamated)
That’s one I haven’t heard yet! I can see how you would feel close to something that kept his heart going!
My husband loved and wore a variety of t-shirts. Couldn’t bear to part with them so I made small pillows out of them and gave one to each of my sons as well as all of my husbands siblings (sprayed his favorite cologne on them). Much easier to see the cute little pillow rather than the t-shirt waiting for him to come back and wear it.
What a great idea!!! I'm sure every person who received one was happy to have that memento! #WIDFAM
My companion died suddenly at 46 in April. Being a farmer he was getting ready to plant his crops. So that being said holidays are not hard but planting season an harvest are my hardest time. Dark humor we planted him instead of him planting crops 3 years ago.
Oh Ruth, your humor is like ours! Dewey always signed his letters and emails with "Always Forward" and so that's what we have on his headstone. I am to be buried on top of him in the military cemetery and they put my info on the back of the same headstone. My kids said "so, Mom, will yours say Always Backwards? or how about Always Behind? Sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from crying! #WIDFAM
I have a chalkboard in my kitchen. On our 26th anniversary, he wrote “I love you 26 times”....he died unexpectedly a few months later. I’ll never erase those precious words. Thank you for sharing so honestly. I love your dark humor ❤️
Thanks for watching! #WIDFAM
Greetings from South Africa. I am so pleased I came across your videos, most of what you say is how I feel and think. My beloved husband died from cancer 21 Sept 2020. It happened so quickly one month from diagnosis to death and as you said in your previous video if we could have "just one more day". Seeing his clothes each time I opened the cupboard was painful so I decided to cut them up with some of my clothes and made a memory quilt which I love. Thank you for your videos they have been a huge help to me in dealing with emotions, loneliness and all the other weird feelings and thoughts. Reading all the comments also helps. Bless you all.
Thanks so much for watching and responding! I couldn't bear seeing the clothes either, so I got rid of them. In hindsight, I should have kept some to make a quilt or teddy bears out of them, since I do sew...but at the time, the vision triggered extreme sadness when I looked at the closet and saw clothes hanging that would never be worn by him again, and it was just mocking me every minute. I couldn't get rid of them fast enough.
Love your sound tattoo. I have Randy's signature and handwriting saying I Love You on my wrist. And every so often I listen to the last voicemail I have from him. Cry every time. Great job handling the Dentist!! I'm a quilter too. Love your fabric wall! We missed our 30 year anniversary by one month. Randy died November 2018. Thanks for sharing that you've found a new love. I have a wonderful sweetheart helping me build my second life. Even so, I miss Randy every day. Thanks for showing me it's ok to love them both deeply
Thanks for all your feedback! And yes, you can love and grieve at the same time, but no one can even think of how to do that until we just do it. It defies logic, but the heart doesn't care about logic, it just feels love, that's it! #WIDFAM
Thank you for making me feel better about not going to the gravesite. I have been there a few times in the last 7-1/2 years, but mainly so I can say I did. Like you said, he's not there. My 7 kids and I had a good family reunion while they were here for the funeral and there was much laughter and love. We all live in different states and we enjoyed each other's company and we believe Bob is rejoicing in heaven and we'll see him when it's our time to go there. Like your husband, we found out he had cancer 4 months before he died. We were so happy for him when he was released from his wrecked body. We love him and miss him, but life on this broken planet isn't all there is. Thank God! I'm really enjoying your videos. Thanks!
Thanks for watching! #WIDFAM
lisarichards: i think they know our business and send us messages from the beyond. i cant prove it, but too many coincidences have occurred in my life. he knows, and god in heaven knows.
I just want to thank you. I lost my husband to cancer 7 years ago. Not one day goes by the grief and the quilt does not get to me.
Thanks for watching! #widfam
I just found you. My husband passed away in August 2020. I celebrated our 34th anniversary in September 2020. What I just started doing is wearing his cologne Obsession. I saved a couple of his long sleeve tshirts and jogger pants. Because he was pretty much bed ridden and that’s what he wore. I was doing my 30 minute walk and there was a darling couple walking holding hands. We always held hands. It’s hard but all the stuff you talk about I’ve done or felt that same feeling . Thank you!
Thanks for sharing! I know we can all relate to each others' experiences.
Thank you for sharing. You are helping me so much. I lost my husband in 1989 at a young age and never found anyone I could relate to. So running across your channel this morning has been a blessing. This sounds crazy but I wish time could be turned back so I could go threw losing my husband all over so I could handle it better. I know that sounds crazy. But I didn't do well at all. I feel like I failed my kids and everyone around me. I had no one to help me.
Nancy,
I'm so glad you found the #WIDFAM! I also feel like I could have been a better wife to my late husband, but I couldn't see that until he was gone. I try really hard not to make those mistakes with my current husband. I don't stress about the little things as much as I did before. It's amazing how hindsight can change how we view the world. Thanks for sharing!
I lost my GF of 20 years 3 weeks ago. I have accepted that she has died but what I can't seem to accept & get over is the fact that I won't ever be able to talk to her, hold her, or hangout with her ever again! It's really hard as I work from home so we were always together 24/7 Plus I have all kinds of triggers around the house! I have spent roughly $400 in memorabilia dedicated to her & her life so that she will never ever be forgotten by anyone! I can honestly say that I will NEVER ever get over losing her!
I’m so sorry for your fresh loss. Sometimes the mind accepts things before the heart wants to! And we never get over our loved ones- we simply learn to live without them, as we have no choice. The grief never gets easier, we just get better at living with it. Feel free to join our FB group for more support: www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow
I moved to be nearer my kids only 4 months after my husband passed away. I can not drive by our old house or even on the street...the memories of our happiness in that house are too painful.
I have those same situational triggers! #WIDFAM
I have the urge to occasionally smell my husband’s aftershave. It has been a year and I find it difficult to move anything of his or give his clothes to charity. Out of necessity, I’ve had to move a few things (very few) but I can hardly bear the thought of things not being where he left them. I can’t sit in the den where we spent most of our time. With COVID I haven’t been able to go places and do things that we enjoyed together; therefore, there are some emotions that I have not experienced. Some days I simply want to stay in bed, and because I have no responsibilities that require me to be elsewhere, that’s what I do. Staying in the bedroom that we shared and surrounded by his personal things and clothes, bring comfort to me. Don’t be alarmed, the doctor is treating me for depression and anxiety but there are things of the heart that meds cannot mend.
Exactly, the meds cannot cure us, otherwise we would all just take happy pills and be cured of our grief, right? But it can help with our brain chemistry and moods, so I would give it some time and maybe also go to therapy on a regular basis, in hopes that they can help with your thinking process. Thanks for sharing! #WIDFAM
My husband passed just this Saturday and I’m struggling with the emotions that are waving through. Watching these videos today has helped in a big way with all the questions I’ve had.
Today, only 3 days out, for the first time, I felt very numb without feeling and I feel very ashamed, as if I should grieve more. I feel like I’m a broken record and fake when repeating the story over and over again.
I’ve decided that I would celebrate his life over the trauma we both went through just before he passed. These videos really helped to understand that and every individual has a unique grieving process. God bless you all. Life is so fragile and I know the loss will have impact on others that we may never grasp until it is our time.
Thanks for watching, and feel free to join our FB group for more support: facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow
We all grieve in our own way and time. There is no right or wrong. Take your time. I can imagine you are still in shock and nothing seems real right now. It's been a year since I lost my husband and I still haven't fully accepted he is gone from this visible world. He will never be gone in my heart. Take good care of yourself as you will need strength. You are in my thoughts.
Thank you @@user-yg1iz6zd6r ❤️
Please keep moving forward luv. Your going to get this through this. Choose to be happy. You must go through your grief but decide to be happy in the remembrance of your dear husband who you will always have in your heart. I know because I just lost my husband of 17 years suddenly.
God bless and comfort you.
3 days out 3 weeks out 3 months out 3years out......the pain doesn't go away. It changes a bit, I'm still waiting for day one when I have no tears. You have to keep pushing yourself dear one.
Thank you! I lost my husband of 19years October 2016. The first time I went grocery shopping I lost myself right there in the store. Had to call a friend to come help me finish getting what I needed and take me home. He had end stage renal failure. (Kidney failure) so strict diet of what he could eat. After 6 years of him being sick we had all come to just eat what he could so he’d stick to the diet. If potatoes were in the house for us, he was tempted to eat them- therefore I stopped buying them. This first trip to the store made me realize I would never cook for him again. I realized I had no clue which flavor of things I preferred cause naturally as a wife I’d just adapted to buying his preferences over the 19 years…. Just things like that all hit me, there in the store and so many things throughout the store triggered me over and over, I remember breaking down, calling someone ( no idea who) and crying the rest of the way trying to shop…. The rest is a blur
Sounds like this was a triggering moment that was transitioning you out of the numb/denial stage. I had that moment in the dentist's office...I feel sorry for the lady across the counter that day! #widfam
Just lost my husband 2 wks ago. Went to the grocery store and it hit me I was only buying for me. I didn’t even know what to buy. I too just ate whatever “ sounded good” to my husband in his cancer journey. I bawled all the way out of the store all the way home and as I put away the single serving frozen dinners.
Hi.
I lost my husband last year and this was exactly what I needed to get a little laugh, and encouragement to move forward.
Thank you
My husband has been gone for almost seven months. I just very recently got to a point to look at widow groups and looking for ways to help my children with their grief, and came upon this page. Thank you for your videos and sharing. They are so helpful!
The week after my husband passed, I slept in one of his shirts, which was huge on me but I didn’t care. Also, around Christmas I bought myself a memorial ring and I wear that in my wedding ring finger. My husband was our technology guy so I kept his phone and Apple Watch. I can’t bear to reset them. They are a connection to him and I check his phone sometimes.
Thanks for watching! Feel free to join our awesome FB group at www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow
@@OneHappyWidow it’s pending! Thank you!!
I needed to hear your story about getting rid of his clothes. That is exactly what I thought, he is not coming back and he will never wear them again! So, after 10 months I decided it was time to give them to a charity so someone else could wear them. The whole thing was emotionally draining. Mainly because people say, don’t get rid of things to fast. And I had a friend that kept wanting to have a blanket of his clothes made for me and my grown son’s. We didn’t want this. Why do people think you will change your mind later? I hate when people put this doubt in my mind, like I am going to regret getting rid of stuff. We were married 28 years and lived in this house for 25 years, we never really got rid of stuff, so we have a house and three storage buildings on the property filled with stuff. Now, I have to go through all this stuff. I know I will have to move one day as the yard is close to 2 acres and Is to much for one person to take care of. If I have to take a lot of time waiting to decide if I’m sure about getting rid of stuff It will never leave and my children will have to take care of it when I pass. I just want to scream, “ who cares about stuff after loosing your husband” Ok, I need to get off this rant and go get rid of more stuff……lol
Reminds me of my 77yr old gf lost hubby 2021 1 wk after my loss. She is ocd about her home cleanliness & constantly "organizing" yet keeps 2 outside storage units!! I say, "donate, sell all that junk!" If not using, it's hoarding! An added burden on others after you die.
My husband and I had a home business together, a small gallery of our art. He was a gemcutter and jewelry artist and some painted art. I am a painter. I am cleaning and re organizing the gallery for reopening. I am having to take price tags off some things we are keeping of his in a memorial space. I can't bear to throw away the tags he handwrote.
One week after my husband died, I gave all his clothes, shoes, and belongings to those who are in need. It helped me a lot knowing that his belongings're still useful and reduced my triggering memories to avoid panic attack. I just kept his last clothes he was wearing in the ambulance. One day we will be reunited, it gives me an ease.
Just watched this video, Leo. I love your honesty. My husband showered with Irish Spring soap, it has been 16 months since he died and that soap is still in his shower. I sent his tuxedo to the funeral home so he could be cremated in style. I told my son I wanted my husband to go out in a blaze of glory. My version of dark humour.
I give myself a year to climb out of all of the little and big things to be gotten taken care of. You have described pretty much my situation of property, household items, and most hard of all is the personal things. It has been three months since my husband died and and I still cryy randomly. 75 yrs, we married young. One of us had to go first and I am glad, for his sake, that it was him. I look forward to joining him sooner than later.
Hi ladies, all those who are going through life, loss, grieving etc., I’m not from USA 🇺🇸 I found you’re channel. Love it, thank you. I lost my love, my best friend. My husband & were very much in love even after 44 years together ♥️ I really loved (love) him & he adored & spoilt me rotten & also told me when I was wrong! I also smell his stuff, rugby tops, aftershave, his vehicle that I gave to my daughter. I miss him, he was the only man I’ve loved. Obviously loved my father & son. I have never felt so lost, I have family & friends but I’ll never ever get over him 🌹♥️
I'm so sorry for your loss of your love! Thanks for watching and for sharing your story with us. #WIDFAM
@@OneHappyWidow really enjoying your videos, my sister~in~law age 43 has just lost her husband to COVID-19. He was 50 & he was my baby brother 🥲 I told her about you, she’ll watch your videos too!
My late husband had this old truck that he drove for years. I got used to seeing it parked next to my car but after he died I gave it to my brother to drive. My brother came over to my house the other week and parked next to my car. I looked out the window and for a brief moment I thought my husband was home and I had to remind myself it was my brother who had come.
I have had moments like this...it really sends your mind into a tizzy, doesn't it? We have to take a few minutes and ground ourselves back to reality. #WIDFAM
I put my husband's cologne on when I want to be near him..
So many of us are doing this...I guess it's not so weird after all lol. #WIDFAM
Thank you for this video my wife passed away September 18, 2021 from Covid-19 It’s been very hard for me
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thanks for watching. #widfam
Thankyou Leo... i am new to your channel today. Ohh... a big believer in the right things presenting to you at the right time. Thankyou for being here at the right time. My life love passed away 10 yrs ago this month on Mothers Day from colon cancer metasticised in his liver at stage 4 on diagnosis. I was also almost 42. We have 2 boys that were 10 and 7 at the time. This is a year of milestones for us... 10 years loss, boys turning 21 and 18 and a new unexpected wave of grief.
Some not so 'weird' stuff...im slowly making some quilts from my husbands clothing, I saved my husbands toiletries too and taught both my boys to shave with their Dads can of shaving cream and (new)' razors vdom the same open pack he had. His voice is still on our answering machine. I felt the blood money thing when i traded our 2 old cars on a brand new SUV. The kids refused to travel in it initially... but the car dealership put 3 big gold helium balloons in the back when they delivered it to us. We wrote thanku messages on them and ssnt them to heaven. This one song that my husband woulx sing to me plays on the radio at the most needed times... so many tears so many comforts..still !
Oh, how neat about the balloons and the song on the radio! I can understand about the kids...we are selling the house that his life insurance paid for, and the kids are pretty sad about that. I love the quilt and shaving ideas too! #widfam
Thank you for sharing..I've been a widow for 8 months and find all your videos so helpfull trying to get through the greif..🙏💕
I'm so glad that you are finding value. in my channel. Thanks for sharing!
The coffee!!! My heart 💔 My husband made my coffee and trying all sorts of combinations, I can't seem to figure out how to make it right like he did it.
I am still trying to teach mine, but he's pretty much got it down. I didn't appreciate coffee like this when I was married before, so this is a relatively new thing for me...it all started with a darn Keurig machine!!!
I had the same problem after he died ,I had to give it up it mad me so mad at my self who cant make coffee come on i felt so stupid .Its been over 10 years now that he is gone and i just started making it again I use a half a scope less then the water ..it’s working now and i am enjoying coffee again thank you Lord it taste so. Good .
Same here! My husband brought me coffee in bed almost every day for 44 years. His coffee was so good, and he would wink and say “ that’s because I stirred it with my little finger”. Going on 18 months with bad coffee.
When my husband was on home hospice, he developed a liking for grilled cheese sandwiches. Now .... I cannot bear to make them as they SO remind me of him and how he would make us a cuo of tea (before his terminal cancer) ...... and just how empty, sad and alone I feel at those times.
Hugs to you Katie! #WIDFAM
I lost my husband almost two years ago after being married for almost 48 years. We had done a lot of traveling together as I was a travel agent. The memorial service was three weeks after he passed. Ten days after that, I flew to Amsterdam to take a cruise home. I have scattered bits of his ashes in marvelous places like the Vatican, Sangrada Familia, Cape Spear Lighthouse and so many other places before the Covid travel ban.
His car was rough. I went to get a car seat out for one of the grans and that hit like a ton of bricks. We had a 1988 Tioga (Rattling Rachel) which had some good memories but I was unable to drive. Instead of trying to sell it, I worked with my daughter in law and we had a contest to give it away. (This kept me busy during August and September when we celebrated our anniversary and his birthday.) We got over 300 essays - some from Canada. Rachel is still with her new family.
I had one "episode" of a panic attack after Tom died. I started with a trainer just after that and have a great fitness studio in our apartment complex. When it was shut during Covid, I started walking the neighborhood A LOT! I now think I have the reputation of the crazy walking lady but I have met some terrific neighbors.
My dating stories are a whole series in themselves....and I really don't have that much experience.
Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh I have some dating stories too! I'd love to hear some of yours lol
I couldn't wear my ring while I was caring for Zeke the last 44 months so a few days after he died i put it on. It made me feel close to him again. Its been less than 6 weeks since he died and I found a ring with his initials on it and wear it on my right hand. We had been married 52 years so it will take a while to realize he's really gone. We used to love telling people how long we'd been married
And adding with a smile we were only 6 when we got married lol
Wow, such a long marriage, congrats on that rarity! #widfam
I put one of my husband's T-shirts and a baseball cap in a baggie. Whenever I'm really missing him, I'll open it up and take a whiff. After two years, it still smells like him.
Smart! Maybe you can keep the smell for a long time if you keep it bagged up! #WIDFAM
Great idea! I wish I’d done this too.
@@pamelap6767 lp
Oh I have the one he passed away in, I thought i maybe had gone too far keeping it in a bag and smelling it and occasionally taking it out to sleep with it. I don’t know anymore if I have depression or if it’s just grief. I have discovered one thing, I’m no longer afraid to die.
My husband died 4 months ago (Jan 2023). I keep his well-worn jacket and veteran's cap on the bathroom door. That's where I cry. I fold myself into it and cry.
I bet it still smells like him.
I wish I had you around in 1980 when my husband of 2 years died suddenly at 25yrs old and left me with an 8 mth old baby. Everything you're saying resonate with me! I had gotten rid of all my husband's clothes after a year except one pair of pajamas that always smelled as fresh air like he did.
Hugs to you! #WIDFAM
Thank you for your videos,I am glad I discovered them a fee days ago.I have lost my husband 3 and half weeks ago,just before my 53th birthday.i am reading also the comments,because I know these people went through,what I am going through.I try to heal...
Thanks for watching…I’m glad this video was helpful. #widfam
It will be 3 years next month of my husband's death. I cant get rid of anything he has wrote on
I find notebooks around with his handwriting, and it always makes me pause.
Me too. I think I'm keeping it all for the kids. And he was also an artist, so all his doodles are precious to me.
My late husband and my on time husband. That made me laugh out loud! I resort to humor even when others say it isn't appropriate. You are my people lol.
My husband died 10 months ago. I could relate to almost everything you did or are doing, especially the text messages. I kept his phone and answer back with it sometimes....just to hear that special sound it made only when a text came from him. Same with the ring tone.
We use humor often too. Glad you can relate! #widfam
I had a necklace made that reads "19825". The number of days I was blessed to be married to Denny. (I have not taken it off but will soon as I now have breast cancer and will have surgery.) Miss him, but happy he will not go through this part of my life journey. I had a wonderful marriage and I celebrate that when sadness claims my thoughts.
Sounds like you have a positive mindset, that’s important! #widfam
Thank you.
Thanks for watching!
Another great video ❤️
Thanks again!
Old spice after shave and deodorant, he always wore both. When I smell it, tears start. 4 years gone. Cancer. Miss him so much.
I can relate- smells are very triggering! #widfam
Love this video. Proud to be part of the widfam
So glad to have you!
My husband died 12 days ago. I walk around the house and sit on different chairs, sofas and stools. Like Goldilocks except none of them is “just right”. I have our wedding song on repeat and made a “shrine” on the kitchen island. I talk to him. I miss him.
I love the Facebook group and Leo’s Saturday Live streams. I decided to binge watch her past videos.
You are certainly in fresh grief and have so much to deal with right now! Do whatever you need to in order to get through each day. Also, email me at onehappywidow@gmail.com and I can send you a couple of links for resources that might help you in these first few weeks/months (checklists, etc). And feel free to share your struggles on the FB group whenever you need to! -#widfam
My husband died on his 65th birthday. He had the most beautiful, kind of curly hair. When my family and I went to the funeral home to write his obituary, I asked the funeral director to cut off a lock of his hair for me. When I got home, I laminated it and carry it in my wallet.
That’s very sweet!
Just last night I was looking through some things I brought to NY from FL. The first thing on the top was his favorite shirt. For some reason it hadn't been washed. I could still smell him.. it went to bed with me last night as it did every night until I left FL. That's why it wasn't washed. It was so comforting to me and. will be now for as I want it to be now.
Smell is such a strong memory trigger!
My pastor said that she has never seen anyone grieve as weirdly as I did and do. It has been 14 years for me but I guess you never finish missing them. I slept with his pillow hugging it to my face for about a year until one of my dogs peed on it so that was the end of that :-) I collected his ashes from the crematorium and threw the box on the bed and told him that I didn’t want to hear any more from him to just be quiet in that box. Of course my faith is strong and I know that he wasn’t in the box just his ashes. I did many weird things but I think people don’t know a lot of the things that we do because we don’t talk about it. I am happy to discuss it but I am careful not to tell other people that my way is the best way. My way is only the best way for me. I sometimes say truthfully that I have replaced him with dogs because they listen better, they’re more obedient and They’re more excited when I get home 😋
Linda, you right, the best way to grieve is whatever way is best for US. I think the most important thing is for us to process the grief and continue to live life, finding purpose, joy, happiness, love, whatever drives us forward. #WIDFAM
I am a Buddhist. I have a walk in my backyard where some of my husbands ashes are in the meditation garden. I walk there and talk to him. My neighbor thinks I am nuts probably.
Meh, let them think what they want, lol. My neighbors thinks I'm something...but who knows what. I'm sure they all hate me because of all the chaos and drama that surrounds our house in a weekly basis. Eventually, we would like to move farther out into the country so the neighbors won't be close enough to even see what we are doing.
If talking to your husband brings you peace, healing, or a feeling of connection to him, then you do what feels right for you. Thanks for sharing! #WIDFAM
nina johnson: i dont think people think you are nuts. they are probably compassionate
After he passed I went to his email, he made sure I had access to his computer when alive. I sent email to everyone he talked about about him being gone. I got a lot of wonderful responses. Lots of people came to the Funeral home because of it. I enjoyed that a lot. Made some new friends of mine. I also signed on Twitter to find him witch I didn’t yet. I see his Facebook, Instagram, and TH-cam videos. Still feels he’s with me. I’m admiring him still.
Hugs! #WIDFAM
My husband wore old spice cologne and I’ll take a whiff then I feel like he’s near. ❤️
It does bring back memories, doesn't it? #WIDFAM
Nice chat...I had my wedding ring and my husbands ring melted down and a new ring made from both of them ....I some how couldn't bare to stop wearing his ring....I have his cologne and still after 20 years enjoy "his" smell.....it brings me joy...and great memories....
What a nice way to memorialize, with a new piece of jewelry out of the original rings! #WIDFAM
This is somewhat of a long comment, but I hope that it may bring comfort & hope to the many widows who watch your channel.......
About 2 months after losing my husband in a horrific motorcycle accident, my very first outing, since his funeral was to a local bookstore with my 12 year old niece. I had been trying to escape my feelings of depression & shock thur reading & had ventured out to find some new books.
I was brought up in a somewhat religious family with both my grandfather & uncle being Ministers, I had attended church every Sunday & was involved with my church all thur my childhood & teen years, but at that particular stage in my life, I was only attending church for holidays, weddings, funerals, etc.
To be honest, I was feeling angry at God & questioning why he took my husband at such a young age & leaving me as a widow at 29 years old, so I had no idea why I felt an urgent, uncontrollable need to visit the religious section of the bookstore as soon as we walked in. The very 1st book that I picked up once we got to that part of the bookstore, was a bible & as I was standing there with my niece, with the bible in my hand, a woman that seemed to come from nowhere & who was a complete & total stranger to us said to me "your guardian angel is standing right next to you"! Of course my first thought was that this woman was dealing with some sort of a mental illness & as I smiled at her without saying anything, I quickly put the bible back on the shelf & took my niece's hand & started moving nonchalantly away from the woman. But as I walked away the woman said only 1 word, that was a word that had a very personal & significant meaning between only my husband & I. I was in shock & before I could say anything, the woman continued to tell me what my guardian angel looked like & described my husband to a tee! She said that she had a message from this guardian angel & asked me if I would like to hear it. Still in shock, I couldn't get the word "yes" out of my mouth fast enough, the woman proceeded with the message, which was only a few words & when she finished what she had to say, she hugged me & turned to walk away. In the time it took me to look down at my niece & to look back up, this woman was gone!
I immediately pulled my niece & ran thur the store looking everywhere for her, I had so many questions that I needed to ask her, but it actually seem like she just walked away from us & disappeared! My niece & I must of walked every inch of that store 4 times looking for her, asking everyone that was in the store if they saw her, but unfortunately we never saw her again.
I know that this sounds unbelievable & honestly if I hadn't had my niece with me to verify the whole incident, I still to this day would never believe that it happened. I whole heartily, honestly, believe that what I & my niece experienced that day, was an actual meeting with an angel! I just have no other explanation for it & really believe that my husband was standing next to me that day, just like I believe that he is right next to me now & every day watching over me.
I believe that when my husband was killed, I was so angry with God that I actually started to lose faith in him & I believe that, that whole incident in the bookstore that day, was God's way of telling me not to lose faith in him & proving to me that even tho my husband was no longer with me physicality, he was with me spiritually & watching over me.
My heart & prayers go out to everyone that has lost a loved one, especially a spouse & I hope that by me sharing my experience, that it helps to bring some peace & comfort to anyone that is going thur what is probably 1 of the most heartbreaking experiences anyone could image.
What an amazing story! I believe you are right about seeing an angel. God knew you needed a little encouragement to bring you back to Him! Thank you so much for sharing with us! #WIDFAM
I live in a tourist hotspot (Hawai’i). I can barely drive down the street without wanting to scream….all these retired folks living their best lives - my husband died 2 years after retirement. We were so cheated and some days I hate every tourist for having what I never will again.
That is tough to see all around you #widfam
The olfactory sense is the most closely tied to memory💕
Yes, I have heard that before! #WIDFAM
Thank you so much for your channel.You are very positive upbeat and honest.My husband died of Covid in April of this year, we had been together for ,53 years since I was 19 years old.It was a very traumatic ordeal as we weren't allowed to be with him and hold his hand etc.I won't go into all of the details but with insistence by my eldest daughter We were each allowed to spend half an hour each with him before he died a couple of hours later.I have all of his clothes in the wardrobe and go and smell them.I have his ashes in the urn inside a special bag with his aftershave sprayed on it.I have had many copies of photos of him where he is laughing or smiling and put them around the house.I know in my heart that he is at Peace and happy in heaven.He lived to be 79 years old and I am so grateful that he was able to have lived that long.We don't move on from grief but move forward with it .Each day is a Blessing of Life.Thankyou .God Bless You all .From Theresa Braganza Jones , living in Spain.
Very wise words, thank you for sharing! #widfam
My husband died of covid too. I wasn't allowed to be with him, plus I was nearly as sick as he was. When they life flighted him my daughters took me in a wheelchair to see him from the parking lot. They said I could come to say goodbye as he was dying but he was hours away from me. I keep thinking I let him down. I wasn't there for him.
OHW you are awesome! You made me laugh, cry all in one. Thanks!
Well, then I did what I set out to do! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I have many more planned, so be sure to keep an eye out! #WIDFAM
It's funny to hear you call the life insurance check blood money because that's exactly what I called it! I didn't want any part of it because I'd rather have him than the money .
Exactly! I had to tell myself this was his way of taking care of his family, even after his death. He would have wanted me to have it and use it to take care of our family. #WIDAM
I said the same! But my new bf said “no, that’s his way of taking care of you and the kids”
"Blood money" was a phrase my Steve used. All the "firsts" are really, really hard. I hope this gets easier for me, not meaning to sound selfish. He died 3/12, 5 weeks ago, from COVID.
Wanting to feel better is NOT selfish! Most of us on here have experienced the same level of loss, so we understand this type of pain. You are still early in your grieving journey. I wouldn’t really say it gets easier...we just get stronger and better able to manage our lives without them. Like weightlifting, the weight might be just as heavy, but over time it is easier for us to lift that weight. You’ll have a year of “firsts” and even milestones you don’t normally think about could trigger you and that’s normal and ok! Let the emotions ride through you, allow yourself to feel them, and then focus on self-care. Accept help when it is offered, but unfortunately the offers slow down or stop coming in after a few weeks/months. That’s when you can lean on your #widfam community to help lift your spirits. We have so many caring, positive, funny, supportive folks in this community and on our FB group. Feel free to reach out when you need to!
@@OneHappyWidow Thanks for your reply. The "friends" don't call as much, and no one comes by. COVID being around keeps the isolation going. I was told just yesterday that a friend always seems to call when I'm crying. Well, first of all thank God you're not in my shoes and it's not easy dealing with all the paperwork and yeah that makes me very emotional. Like you said about the life insurance check. It's in black and white that they are gone forever. That forever really gets to me. How do I live life without him?? Our son wants to start going for Sunday day trips around our state. Says it'll be good for the both of us. He lives close by and comes over to keep me company every night. Every little thing I do alone now feels like a milestone. Heck, I'm 62 and never thought I'd be in this position at so young an age. I use to tell Steve I didn't know where I'd be without him and he'd say you don't even have to think that. I'm not going anywhere. Well, now that is my reality to live. No one or nothing will bring me the joy and happiness that he did. What do I have to look forward to? Our son said last night that good and even great times are ahead for me. Every place "we" went rips me apart and if I am going to go to place we didn't get to go to, that will as well. I feel overwhelmed mentally. I initially felt like I had 10,000 tabs open, like a computer, in my mind. I've got it down to about 100 but am starting to go to the what if this breaks, what if that happens, etc. I appreciate the support if anyone wants to reply. Therapist said this is a unique type of situation and PTSD can happen because it was a COVID death. He was healthy and happy and loving life. I know he's in a better place, etc. but now what about me? Thank you!
I would try going to new places, instead of those you've been before so they don't trigger you. Also, if you've gone from 10,000 tabs open to 100, then you are making progress! We never get "finished" grieving, but we do get better at handling it day to day. As for the what-ifs, I have them too...and I just have to train my brain, or tell myself to put that aside...and deal with the real situations going on now. The "what-ifs" will cause more stress than the actual things happening in front of you! Take one stresser at a time and del with it, then on to the next. Hang in there, and know that you are not alone! #widfam
Weird is that your video is so positive but it made me cry....I took of my wedding ring right away. When his ring is not on his hand I didn't want mine either. But I can't throw away his toothbrush and his clothes and think I would never be ready for that.
Moving forward is full of ups and downs, and it taints everything in life with a little bit of sadness. #widfam
Thank you for sharing
Loving the dark humour. . Thank you for not letting me feel weird in my grieving
I feel more empowered in my grief journey..
That’s my goal, thanks for watching! #widfam
One weird thing about me is that I've had to remember that I'm younger than I think, lol. My husband was 14 years older than me and he died at age 71. I was 57 when he went to heaven, but I thought of myself as being his age. That's what happens after 33 years of marriage! I'm not sure I'm succeeding, but I try to keep reminding myself that I'm ONLY 64 now. So young, lol.
Yes, young widow for sure! #WIDFAM
Thank you
Thanks for watching
When I saw you sniff that deodorant I knew exactly what you were doing. I sniff my husband's clothing and pillow.
So glad I’m not the only one! #widfam
I CANT THANK U ENOUGH.. This video is making me feel like what im going through is normal .. its been a year and half since he passed and this is the first time ive felt that way .. Thank you 💙
Thanks for watching and for sharing your feedback #widfam
my husband of 32 years died 20 days ago...and thank you for making me smile. becky
Thanks for watching #widfam
I melted my wedding ring to make a cross n wear it around my neck
Great idea!
Love seeing your stash in the background...after 15 months finally starting to feel like I can concentrate on quilting again. Thanks for being here!!
BTW, I lost my only son 9 months after my husband....double whammie!
Oh, my!!! You were definitely hit with a double-whammy. Prayers going out to you, my friend! As for the stash, it's way too much for me to get through myself, but you know how easy it is to hoard fabric! I don't even quilt (tried it, did not like it), but I do sew other things, and I love it! #WIDFAM
I m also a widow and am remarried now .
I still have alot of triggers mainly
Dates every time a Anniversary or birthday or the date he was killed comes up I have such grief before the date the date and it's better after till the date comes up again 💔
Still feel broken even after 7 years and being remarried
I'm happily married now but still grieve.
I thought it would get less but it hasn't in some ways
I do have his rings and his favorite cologne and his coat from the military ❤
I'm happy I found your channel because you show grieving is ok even when remarried
I still struggle with dates too, probably always will. Today would have been our 22nd wedding anniversary. Next week is the 5 year anniversary of his death, and then Sunday is Father’s Day. June is a tough month for me, but my current husband is so supportive! #widfam
@@OneHappyWidow
June 11th was our Anniversary would be our 33rd today 💔
When he was killed on 5/15 /2015 it was 26 years would have been 27 years the next month.
Hope you come to feel peace during the hard dates 🕊
That's what I want is too be at peace with it all .
The pedicure video made me smile and cry. So sweet ❤
Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam
I wear my husbands wedding band on a chain around my neck. When I go to sleep at night I hold on to the ring. It makes me feel close to him...
Hugs! #WIDFAM
I get triggered by a lot of things, but especially when I see videos about someone getting a dog. My husband was looking forward to getting his first dog as an adult and that never got to happen. I try not to think of what he is missing, like our granddaughter growing up without him, because that tears me up, too. It doesn't take much to touch my heart. I also had to get rid of his clothes right away, but kept a few things in the coat closet. It was too hard to see them in our closet every day. I know it will get better, but he died only 6 weeks ago so I've got a long road ahead. We were married 52 years.
Yes, you are in the early stages of your grieving process, so be kind to yourself and let yourself feel whatever you need to feel. Rest if you can, and take whatever help is offered, while it is still being offered. Prayers to you! #WIDFAM
Just found you and so grateful for your videos. Dad left us in early December 2020. As the closest living child, it was up to me to "nurse" him the last month. I was honored to march with Dad down that last road. The hardest part was dealing with Mom through all of it. I'm hoping watching your videos helps me to understand why she behaved (and still does) the way she did.
Your mom is lucky to have you! #WIDFAM