@susanoline5823 it's changing my life immensely . It feels great getting rid of everything I don't use. It de-stresses my life, and it's less frustrating to find things, which is a time-saver. I'm living in my parents condo, so it's a lot with both my parents stuff and my stuff. My mom didn't like empty cabinets. When I open a cabinet that's empty, I smile with a sigh of relief.
Maybe before getting rid of the sentimental stuff, take pictures of it, and write a history of the person with these items that tell about their lives.
Over a two year period I helped empty out 4 relatives homes. By house number 4 I felt like I couldn't deal with all the stuff in my own home. I started a major purge. My goal is not to leave my clutter for my children. Last year we and our adult children decided we all had everything we really needed and decided to stop exchanging gifts for Christmas and birthday and what a relief it was. It spurred me on to do the same thing with several friend and they were just as happy about the decisions. We still give to our grandchildren who are all still young. I'm finally feeling like I can breathe and enjoy the holidays.
I think the whole idea of not exchanging gifts is wonderful! It surely reduces the stress of the holidays. If people still feel compelled to give something, money is always a great option. The giver doesn't have to go out and search for the perfect size or color of an item, and the receiver can use the money for what they need / want after Christmas when there are great sales.
I had a beloved Swedish Grandma, who reminded me so much of the author. I have been on this Swedish Death Cleaning journey for a couple of years. I've been purging a lot, but also being intentional about what I keep. Very exhausting and emotional cleaning out my parents' (and sister's ) homes. They were organized but so much stuff. They were children of the Depression, and I tried not to be judgemental knowing they lived through very lean times. One good tip the author stresses-- Do not start with photos, or you won't get very far. This is where I am now. For each adult child, I have made photo albums and copied VHS to digital and DVD. Now they have a lot of their childhood, and I'm still here. After I'm gone, they can have an estate sale company clear it, or have a bonfire. Good luck to all on this journey. It is so worth the time.
I am sorting through all the photos now and it is emotionally draining. I am putting together the photo albums of their childhood for both my adult children. I know it will be worth it but it is exhausting. One day at a time.
Similar to your family's approach - My son suggested we enjoy "experiences" rather than buy presents we don't really need. A Broadway show, a lovely dinner out, and a New Orleans swamp tour later, we are ALL converts! So much less stress and more fun!
Had to sell my parents house a couple years ago. Going through all their stuff was emotionally draining. I have made a commitment never to do that to my daughter.
My thinking is changing. We are about to empty 2 houses from elderly parents and there is so much stuff no one really wants. It really is making me think about my stuff and who will want it.
When I was a new Mom in 1980 I was given Don Asletts book “Is There Life After Housework?” Life Changing! I read ever single one of his books and my favorite was “Clutters Last Stand” which made me a clutter-free person for the last 44 years. The best way to live and enjoy raising 5 kids. Less stuff, less stress, more family time, more me time.
I feel so much more relaxed and peaceful in my home since I decluttered my home. I gifted, sold and donated things I no longer wanted or needed. Now my home is clean, spacious, bright and simplified. 😃
A quote that I have never forgotten: “Look at all that clutter. It used to be money. “ Wow. Also, I love the minimal mom channel because she helps me to understand that everything that is in my home needs to be maintained, and takes physical and/or mental energy. That has helped me to prioritize whether something is really worthy of my head space and closet space. Evaluating that worthiness is a constant process, but very rewarding and liberating once you figure it out!
There was an old Garfield comic where Jon came home with a new silly hat and Garfield thinks, “it’s amazing the things people would rather have than money.” Similar to your quote, it really stuck with me. It was funny, of course, but it was also true.
It's a process...I declutter in phases. I go over areas several times a year and always find a thing or two that I don't use. It's definitely a big mental shift to let go. But the biggest thing is to stop bringing stuff into your house
I don't do Swedish death cleaning specifically. But after I found out about it and thought about others having to deal with my chaos, I finally had the drive to organize everything properly and keep it in order. There's still a lot of stuff, but in labeled boxes. This way my relatives could dispose of them without having to worry that there is still something important in them. Over time, I throw away more and more things when I realize that I don't use them. But thanks to the box system, I didn't have to decide everything directly and didn't have to order a garbage container.
I started a tradition a few years ago with my adult children. I go to Hobby lobby and buy a large hat box each Christmas and fill it with things they need health and beauty products, gift cards, housewares, accessories, etc. That way I’m not buying a ton of things and they don’t have a ton of things they don’t want or need. They really look forward to getting the boxes every year
Did same for the 3 younguns this yr, all kitchen gadgets (good ones, like rly nice towels, cute scrubbers, tongs, magnetic toast tongs, good olive oil, etc. stuff I think no one buys for themselves) Maybe next yr we’ll just do a trip :) Working my way out of random gifts a bit…
Slipped into this conversation I come across your brief, simplistic sentence that carries valuable wisdom. I’ve been a collector for decades. Each decade my collections change. As an example for a decade I collected little made in china dogs. Then there were the years when I collected antique Quilts, fabrics ( I sewed Quilts ), dolls,… I also became a portrait painter, creating at least 100 paintings. When we retired we moved to Florida. I decided to give my collections to my children and grandchildren. I gave them all of the photograph albums as well. Today, one year later, I regret giving all of my collections away. It was a mistake. Shredding two decades of journals was also a mistake. As for making things easier for our children when we die- to be honest I don’t care. My collections could well be like opening a treasure chest.
yes, sometimes we are impulsive. I’ve done that and have regretted a few things I’ve given away. We change through life. My children said they didn’t want anything, then years later I was asked if I had something and I regrettably sold it. This is life. We attach our hearts to some things as a remembrance. I still have things from high school I don’t know how to detach from. We’ll work it out, and if we don’t, it’s ok. ❤️
katherineelizabethco: You can't look at it from the point of view that you got many years of enjoying out of them so now it's time to move on? You must be one of the fortunate ones who lives in a pretty little house with the white picket fence. Sounds like you need to experience some significant losses so you can put priorities in order. It's just *STUFF* for f&$k sake. Count your blessings you've been able to sit down, take inventory of your *stuff*, touch it, look at it, admire it, talk to it. Not everyone has that lap of luxury lifestyle.
Did a little search on Don Aslett, also known as the Sultan of Shine, Don Juan of the John, and the Dean of Clean. Looks like he’s still on this side of the sod and is 88 years old!
Don Aslett changed my life, no lie. I was laughing at the cartoons in clutter's last stand till WHAM one hit me between the eyes. I could no longer deny I was a clutterbug and realized that I wanted to change.
This cleaning It’s about valuing what matters in life, living simple, financial freedom, escaping the rat race, living life on your terms and doing what genuinely makes you happy
I'm trying to build financial freedom, presently educating myself about personal finance and investing. Please point me in a direction of articles and books that are helpful, I've found it difficult to learn online
Don Aslett is still alive and has a cleaning products supply store in Idaho Falls, Idaho. He also has the Museum of Clean in Pocatello, I believe. I also read his books years ago and it changed my thinking towards owning "things."
Hi from Okinawa Japan! We give consumables for new years celebrations (the whole month of January) like a canned ham set, oil&soy sauce set, import cookie/cakes sets etc. and we give Summer Gifts similar and coffee sets. But, i like the Experiences idea! We went to Hokkaido with our adult son visiting from California.
We recently travelled to Japan and gift giving is next level there! I love the idea of specialty food and treats. So thoughtful and lovely. Thanks for watching!
When each of my three children moved out I gave them a home made medicine box because young people don’t think of small emergencies, oh and also a ‘ microwave’.
There is a sociologist by the name of Thorstein Veblen who coined the term: "Conspicuous Consumption (1899)." This means to consume or spend money on luxury commodities/ goods and services, specifically as a display of our personal economic power (the buyer). I've wrestled with this concept as I've purchased and accumulated goods over the years. I fell that as we move toward a greater sense of personal assurance and security we move away from displaying ourselves through our items. This gravitation or maturity moves us away from owning and consuming. I really identify with your journey.... you've got a new follower in me. :)
After spending months decluttering I realize that the "things" that we need are experiences, not more things. For my husband's birthday, my kids and I are taking him to an Escape Room which none of us have ever done before. We'll have the laughs and memories to share for years to come. That, to me, is far more valuable than stuff.
Your channel just popped up into my feed today. I'm currently going through a whole house declutter and have been watching videos to keep me motivated or give me ideas of things to declutter. Yesterday I came across another channel that was decluttering but at the same time promoting through sponsorship purchasing subscription boxes of things the person didn't really want or need. I immediately removed them from my history as that message is contradictory to what I'm doing. Then today I see this video and you've stated you aren't interested in affiliates that promote adding more stuff to your house. Thank you for such a refreshing message! I realize it's difficult for a TH-camr to do this as that is a source of money but I do applaud you for making this decision that more aligns to your message and goals. You've gained a sub from me for this.
My husband and I have been on a similar journey. In a 10 month period we lost our last 3 remaining parents. My husband's parents had downsized over the years and their last home, a small condo, was much easier to deal with. On the other hand, my parents left behind two homes in two different states stuffed full. It was so emotional going through all their things and it really was hard letting it go...but it was also freeing and became easier. Now, two years later, we have decided to downsize ourselves into a much smaller home. The experience of cleaning out our parents' home has made our downsizing process easier. On your Christmas gift giving...Yes, we too have found that our gifts to our sons (in their 20's) are now becoming more practical too. One of their gifts from us this year was a fireproof lockbox, we found at Costco, to house their tax returns, passports and anything else they need to secure. My sons thought this was a great gift that they never would have thought to ask for. Overall, I agree it has been a journey that is more profound than most people think!
Every January I go room by room. I do a deep clean and declutter in each one. I take as long as needed - some rooms are done in a day and some require multiple days. I am not at Swedish Death Cleaning level quite yet but each year I let more and more go. If I could go back I would have never accumulated as much stuff, that’s for sure. I know my son does not want much, if any, of my stuff and honestly even I don’t want a lot of it anymore either. Each year gets easier because I have been doing this for many years and I am not buying lots of stuff anymore. I have always liked quality over quantity so I don’t have a lot of “crap” but still have things to let go of. Love you and your channel. I am fairly new ( I found you through Adam Hattan on the Mediterranean Cruise you guys did). I love your positivity and kindness. 💜
My sister died unexpectedly last Fall at 51. Going through her stuff on top of losing her was so stressful. She kept all of her high school letters, etc. When I got home I looked around and thought of everyone having to go through my junk drawers and closets and how annoying it would be. I had decluttered the whole house 3 yrs before, but it was already building back up again.
Same. My sister died unexpectedly last year, and she had been living in my parent's home, so I had generations of stuff. Ugh. I simply can't leave this for my kids
Everything you were just talking about is exactly what I have been doing recently! I keep saying that the pandemic gave me organization - some people baked, some people did puzzles - I organized things! After Christmas this year as I was putting my many, many, Christmas decorations away I decided to pare down - to declutter. So I was fairly ruthless and eliminated many things that I either don't use anymore, don't want or have too many of. As a matter of fact I set these things aside and tomorrow my daughter and my adult granddaughter and their families are coming over for a "snack and game day" and they are going to look at all the things I am getting rid of and they can take the things they want and the rest will be donated. It really feels good! Thank you for your videos I thoroughly enjoy them all!!
When my mum died owning a small flat, it was heartbreaking for my two sisters and I to go through it while mourning as well. I have blocked out most of it because it is too painful to think about. My mother kept quite a minimal home with good quality items. I am dreading going through my father-in-laws house when he passes on as it is bordering on hoarding. He knows I find his home overwhelming, but he thinks it is funny to keep buying things to further fill his four bedroom house. He even sends me WhatsApp photos of things he buys with the message 'more stuff'. To save me stress when the time comes, I have decided to phone the Salvation Army charity, open the door, and let them take the lot.
I read a couple of them and enjoyed them. They might still be upstairs! I have a big house and 6 grown children and have been decluttering for the past few years since my husband died. I might (probably) will be moving closer to one of the kids and there's A LOT that I don't need to take with me! It's hard to get rid of so many memories of our 38 years in this house but nice to see the book shelves less full and some of the games gone and some of the bunk beds/dressers/cabinets, etc. gone. I've got more to go but I'm making progress!
I'm 71 and after cleaning up after others passed .. I do not want to do this to anyone ... I've started to declutter , slowly but no have started ... separating emotionally can be difficult , somehow these thing became part of who I was but am no more
Thank you so much for sharing! I have been constantly decluttering over the years and it's so freeing:) I love buying clothes second hand and for Christmas we give our children "only" some money so they can invest it in whatever they want.
Since I have been on the decluttering journey for about 2 years, I have noticed that stuff really stresses me out now, so I can totally relate to what she is saying.
Watching this in my bed with bags full of my parents stuff around me , and a garage full of stuff I don’t need or want but i could not let go yet- after donating several dozens boxes and filling two 13 ft dumpsters :(- how . I wish my mom and dad read that book - it was an emotional rollercoaster for sure - and it’s not over.what’s for sure is that I’ll do differently for my kids
I noticed that after my parents died, as time passed I didn’t have the same feelings about items that I had right after it happened. I’ve been able to let go of more of their items. I really tried to find a use for items and now if I haven’t found a use, I am comfortable with getting rid of them. I do have difficulty with photos though. I wish I had the money to send all the photos to someone to scan. Then I could put together specific framed pictures for all the grandchildren and give them the digital collection.
I just found you tonight and laugh at the topic, as I have been doing this for the last 6-8 years saying just that, "I am purging so our only child doesn't have to deal with all the crap we have". OMG, it feels so good, I am 63, my daughter 23, my husband 74, so things could change quickly now with this family as we are older parents. Funny how an area can be purged, but find a year later, more can be purged as well. I just wish my husband shared my enthusiasm, he has my old horse barn, his shop, the "boys club" outbuilding and garage FILLED with stuff and I keep telling him it would be unfair to leave all this for our daughter to deal with. So, seeing this video tonight has gotten me to try once again to get him to start it as well, because if he doesn't, I will and he won't be happy that I am dumping his stuff. Thank you!
His stuff is causing him more COPD illness, it is junk, we are talking empty oil bottles, dead squirrels in empty boxes filled with feces of rodents. Basement office also filled with dead rodents in his file cabinets with feces/urine. Old checks from 1976, paper files from long deceased customers. It is a health hazard, daughter was always sick when here, at college and now her own place she isn’t having issues, when she visits she gets feeling crappy again. This isn’t healthy “stuff” to have around inside home or in other outbuildings.
I love the "necessities" gifts and as my adult children now live in their own homes i also include a "tea/coffee/laundry detergent/" necessities box for them with a takeaway gift token so that in the long cold month of January, before their next pay-day, they have some basics and some treats.😊
I too have made the decision to make this year my year for Swedish Death Cleaning. I have discovered that it is becoming very easy to shop intentionally. Many things you have said speak to me. My husband is actually decluttering more than I thought possible. He has many more things that still bring him joy…lol
Been feeling the same way of trying to declutter anything that doesn’t have a purpose and paring down just purchasing items because I like it and questioning myself do I really need this or how often will I use this! This Christmas I told my adult kids I will buy one thing you really want/need and then purchased everyday items they use or need for their places. I don’t want my house to become like my parents with too much accumulated. It stresses me out thinking about how will I ever get through all their things left behind. One drawer/cabinet at a time!
We used to sell on eBay mostly musical instruments. Leftovers sold in two or three resale booths 2-3 hrs away. Not only the clutter but the time involved was wearing on us. It wasn’t fun anymore. Got my garage back first time in over 20 years, can park in there now. Hubby and I now concentrate on career and have more time and money
Hi Jen! Hahaha! I read Don Aslet’s book too! I don’t know if it was in that book of his or another book of his, but he wrote extensively about setting up your house to clean itself. Many good ideas about that!
Jen, you're speaking my language. I've been highly organized since childhood. Mom always said she never had to get after me to clean up anything. When my death occurs, all of my household items, EVERYTHING, will be donated to a local, extremely high end thrift store that my friends own. My will states this. My only child, an adult, will come in, choose whatever he wants first. The rest? Bye-bye!
I get it. My MIL was a hoarder. The big joke was the only fight after she passed would be who gets to light the match. We ended up filling 5 roll offs. The ones that take up half a double driveway. The company was kind and gave us a discount. However, it has encouraged my husbands Aunt to get her act together and start cleaning out, so there’s that. I wish you luck on your journey. X
Hi Jen, greetings from Ohio! I'm so happy to have discovered your channel. My husband and I are getting ready to move and your video came at the perfect time. We've moved many times and are ready to seriously pare down. Christmas has become much more meaningful with less stuff.
Swedish Death cleaning is what I’ve been thinking about but didn’t know it had a name! When my mother in law passed there was so much for the family to go through. Five children so many hands made quick work, but it was a lot. This is not what I want for my kids. It’s best for us too so we are not drowning in our stuff. I am fairly new to your channel. I really loved the videos with yourself and Adam Hattan so I subscribed to your channel. I’ve found more than travel on your channel❤️You can tell you are living your best life and I am here for it.
I just found out some of my inherited jewelry that was thought to be valuable by myself and previous owners wasn’t worth much. Just storing stuff no one will want.
Hi! I just discovered and subscribed to your channel. Totally relate to your intro: reading home keeping books from the library as a youth including being an early Martha Stewart fan. Glad to have found your channel. 😊 I am close to retirement and ready to get back to organizing and would like to travel again!
I feel like this hit me last year at the end of summer where i was just so tired of the "stuff" and i did a pretty deep declutter but im back at it again !😅 And the Christmas gift giving it was very eye opening for me especially now in my current situation....my kids have EVERYTHING and going forward its going to be very simple and i would much rather take them away for a weekend. AND pretty much cut out the Disney parks merch/shopping.
I was also a 9ish year old reading Don Aslett books! High five to us! 😆 Thank you for making such a kind and thoughtful video. This can be a sensitive topic and you handled it beautifully and practically. I’m a happy new subscriber!
Grandma tried to gift me some of her beloved items. I said, no grandma, you keep it. I ended up with it after she died anyway. Now I know why she wanted to give it to me. I’m grandma’s age now. Time to let her things live on at someone else’s home.
Your suggestions here really resonate with me. It’s interesting that what you described about how you shopped for Christmas gifts in prior years, is almost identical to what my approach was. And, likewise I changed my gift giving this year similar to what you did! Moving forward I’m going to continue this journey - it just feels right. Thanks for sharing
Im trying to shift my mindset to declutter. It's difficult. I like my stuff. I worked hard for my stuff, but now I've got too much stuff. BUT!!! Because of your videos, I DID go through all the Christmas boxes last week, and before i stored things back in them, anything i had not put out (obviously not meaningful or was broken or just not my style anymore) got put in bags to be donated. I went through the wrapping supplies and recycled a ton of paper, bags and ribbons that weren't useful. I really put thought into how things went back into storage. So, baby steps. I'll feel good next Christmas and try some more purging next year. In the meantime, I'm tackling small spaces and eventually, I'll get to my office and the garage. 🤪🤯 But thank you for always inspiring and gently nudging me toward a less cluttered house and mind. ☺️
Anna this is EXACTLY the way. In times past I would feel like a failure because I couldn’t do it all but this mentality can slowly but surely transform our relationship to our things! Thank you for sharing that it’s very encouraging.🥰
I did a lot of decluttering during shutdowns. It felt great! I do like buying stockings and lots of gifts for my adult children and their spouses. I was spoiled at Christmas and I want to spoil. I should talk to them about an experience instead of gifts. They might be more open to it than I think!
Although I did declutter some of my Christmas decorations a few years ago (one of my daughters wanted them), I like to rotate my Christmas decorations to keep things fresh-looking. I guess you could say that I like to “mix it up” - always something different like in a different room or grouping than the last time I used it several years earlier. I don’t use it all at once; I concentrate on themes. I also rotate my hanging art and tablescape collections.
I love experience gifts like movie tickets, broadways show or local theatre or out to dinner or coffee gift cards. Six years ago I had to clean my sister's home when she died.She was an organized hoarder and it was a nightmare for me. Last year I had two heart attacks;one from long Covid and the second from getting Covid again.I also had a mini stroke from long covid. My home is pretty decluttered, but this made me want to get rid of even more things and be extremely minimal. If I have wind up dying from all of these health issues, I don't want my son and my husband to have to go through my things while they also deal with grief.
I'm definitely in the stage of life where I am starting to think about stuff and how much of it I have. I keep a neat (but not minimalist) house, and my friends think I am pretty organized/clean. However I do have more than I want to have. I have the easiest time getting rid of clothing. Did a huge closet cleanup last year, and I try to get rid of a piece (or more) whenever I bring a new piece in. I also help my college-aged son go through/get rid of worn out/outgrown clothing. Last year, he and I did a huge toy clean out, but even so, we kept more than we should. My biggest area of struggle is with memorabilia: kids' art, certificates, records, trophies/ribbons, greeting cards, special toys and knickknacks, etc. I feel like this is the kind of stuff that facilitates access to special memories. Sure, one could take pictures, but it's not the same experience as touching, reading, looking at the actual items. I am of two minds about this category of stuff: part of me says we should scale back and part of me is an archivist at heart. I see people on Facebook who pull up their old high school and childhood objects and take great joy at having them, sharing them, showing them to their own children. I suppose there is a happy medium--some kind of balance between minimalism and archiving and cataloging, but I haven't found it yet.
Love this concept. Went back and watched your other videos on the topic. I have been on the swedish death cleaning journey for a bit over a year since my eldest moved out. It is very satisfying and an ongoing process ….. thanks for the encouragement.
Yes, our family has changed to mostly food gifts! This had ended the holiday clutter and waste, the stress of how to deal with gifts you did not really like but are concerned about the giver noticing if you get rid of it, and the stress of finding a gift for someone who already has everything. Food is fun and temporary and no one knows what you do with it. Food can be adventurous or gourmet or an old favorite.
Jen, you are exemplary at what you do. There is an undeniable professionalism (and yet relatability) to your presentation and a wealth to your knowledge/experience. I wonder if you have ever considered moving up and out of TH-cam to something like your own home show on HGTV or other like channels. You’d be such a hit! And such a help to many more viewers. Give it some serious consideration. I’d be thrilled for you ❤.
I don’t know that going to a network would bring her more viewers. I, for 1, would be lost to her material. HGTV is, like the other networks, much more concerned with ad revenue and pushing certain narratives, and unconcerned with actually helping viewers. So many come to TH-cam for real content versus narrative content. Just my $.02. 🤷♀️
For me, I'm not crazy about the idea of plants, I feel like somebody's giving me something I don't want to take care of. For Christmas, I have just started giving gift cards or cash. They can go on an adventure or buy something they know they want. We feel that spending Christmas day together is the joy, not the gift that we get.
Jen, I really enjoy following along on your journeys because I’m finding that you are addressing all the things that I am also addressing in my life. So many of your life experiences mirror my own. Keep doing what you’re doing!
So I did the S.D.C. the month before my sister-in-law was arriving from Sweden. I had only two days left to finish, (all just paper products, paperwork etc which I'd sorted and had on all the tabletops to finish) the next day. It ended up with instead, almost being the Canadian Death Cleaning for ME! I went to bed and during the night had a stroke, falling out onto the floor. I was alone, couldn't get up, and most importantly couldn't reach my cell phone. I laid there for 12 hours. Finally I prayed to die, but thought of my mother, and immediately prayed to NOT die, but to live and be saved. I then got some SUPER energy and was able to get to my phone. Getting to hospital 13 hours after a stroke certainly isn't ideal. I wasn't expected to live, but thanks to prayer, I'm here today, and am very well Thank God. This experience nearly killed me. So my advise is, take it slowly, and don't do more than you think you can handle.
Thanks Jen. My husband just told me today that his sister is coming from Sweden to stay with us again!(I had the stroke 2 yrs ago now) I DO love her, but my heart just kinda skipped a bit when he told me! No more super duper clearing up to be done though. He can clean her room though, I ain't chancing it. LOL!
Okay I was a weird clutter averse kid too. In high school my friends would invite me over to deep clean their rooms and literally let me boss them around all day in the name of cleaning and decluttering. As an adult I realized I could have been making some good money off my friends back in the day, 😂
Every year I buy two of my friends a book for Christmas and this year the book I bought is The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. As I've followed along on your videos I've been doing this in a very small and slow fashion but I'm excited to get my copy too just to read and keep myself motivated.
Not a ton of clutter, but 3 years from retirement and consolidation of homes/downsizing, I know the items that I will be passing on, selling and donating - it is hard because I wish I could do it all NOW .
I bought "Clutter's Last Stand" by Don Aslett in 1986. I saw it while browsing the bookshop at the Australian National University in Canberra. The title here was "Freedom from Clutter" (probably because General George Custer doesn't resonate much with the average Aussie.) It began me on my decluttering journey.
Instead of a big party for my Son's birthdays (21st &18th) I said we can have a birthday that everyone else can have a good time or we can go on a holiday- they picked the holiday and we had amazing time and still have to go on our other holiday but we made memories which was so much better, we had a dinner out for our immediate family and that was it, I am going through things and I really have to think about what is sitting in a box and is it of use , I have just gone through one room and oh my , it felt amazing 😊
love this! This Christmas we did very little gift giving/receiving and it was glorious, so much less stress. I've started watching less and less "haul videos" & if I do I try watch I try to think of what I already own that is similar.
It might sound like a silly idea, but how about giving your newlywed children or even if they just move out on their own , a very practical gift is a bag of rags. Which young person has a rag for cleaning that oil spil in the garage or for dirty jobs in the house?
I love gifting experiences - the memories are priceless. Bonus if I get to tag along (gifted my honey a stay at the Polynesian for his birthday last year - I got to go tool! Maybe it's selfish...I call it self-love)
I haven't done the Swedish Death Cleaning thing technically but I noticed after my Mama died I found myself just not buying things and slowly getting rid of things. I have done the if I buy something I get rid of something for years, even before that. I'm a shoe and purse addict so I made myself always get rid of a pair of shoes or a purse any time I bought one. I also started buying only the "real" things around that time. I'll admit, I own some clothes I've had for over 20 years, I only wear them around the house but I can't make myself get rid of them because they are just perfect for days like today when it's cold and I'm being lazy so that old Amelia Island long sleeve sweatshirt type shirt is just comfortable. We told family years ago not to get us gifts and hubby and I stopped exchanging gifts for any occasion years ago. We are lucky enough to be that couple that if we wanted or needed something we just got it ourselves so gifts were things we just didn't want or need. Do I still have way too much stuff in my house? Yep. This is partially a joke but I'm determined my son should have to go through it all so I linger a bit. Again, partially a joke and partially what I do still have around makes me happy. Do I need the dolls from different countries my Mama started for me when I was 3 and have been added to over the years? No. Are some of them worth a lot of money? Yes. Am I getting rid of them? No.
I think the best part of this process is it is and SHOULD be unique to every individual. No set rules or rigid guidelines just what feels right for YOU. Thank you for this comment - all so true and I think others will find it encouraging!
This is so inspiring! I bought a decluttering book in my late 20’s (yep, that is def slightly weird) It was called How to Conquer Clutter. (Found it just now online, 1989!) The amazing thing was every few years I cleaned a small space, & that darn book would just turn up! It was witchery. Followed me through many moves. Haven’t seen it lately though, and that’s clearly been a problem 😉 Have got a large bag of Xmas giveaways from packing up this year. And yes, I thought I cleaned it all out last year! It’s sort of never ending… I do actually enjoy the holiday smallering though. Next year should be even better.
I used to have a big collection of horse figurines. Well, I have thinned the herd lately. I have one corner shelf in my bedroom and I have a curio cabinet in the living room. All my Nikki neck stuff has been trimmed down to fit in those two places. So I did get rid of quite a few. And I don’t miss them.
We went on vacation in Florida for Christmas with only one daughters family and parents in law (other 3kids not there) . Dramatically less stressful. Didn’t decorate or shop much .
These are some of the things that I parted with over the past couple of years that I will never again have in my house: 1) A box of my old childhood knick knacks. 2) A box of collectible dolls. 3) My HS prom dress and several Brides Maid and formal dance gowns - all worn one time and never again. 4) Cook books that I hadn't looked at in years 5) A couple of boxes of old dishes and bowls that were taking up room in our garage. 6) Bookshelves full books - we still have plenty of books but we got rid of A LOT and will never acquire so many again 7) Old bed linens, blankets, comforters, towels and table cloths that we hadn't used in forever. 8) Boxes of old papers that we no longer needed - shredded and tossed. 9) Artwork that was stuffed away in a closet - this is the biggest home that we will ever live in, if it isn't being displayed now, we don't need it. 10) Old, decrepit dog crates that went straight out for garbage pick up. 11) Numerous lamps. I could go on, but you get the picture. Much of the stuff had been given to us second hand from older relatives "just in case" we could use it but we never did.
I just love this way of living and I actually think it will make for even more interesting content. Not just interesting but even more authentic, calm and relaxing. I have following a few subscribers in the past and their vlogs became all about have, have, have which I think as content has a very short life and just isn’t the type of content I want to spend time watching often. I love all of your content - it makes me feel calm and happy ❤️❤️❤️❤️xxx
Sorry meant to say, this Christmas my husband bought me a couple of things I genuinely needed and an afternoon tea experience which we enjoyed with our daughter yesterday. I value experience over things so much these day. If you are ever in the UK and are visiting Oxford, make sure you enjoy afternoon tea at The Randolf Hotel - just so delicious and a beautiful hotel xxx
I love that you were gifted a lovely afternoon with people you care about! And thank you for the kind words. I’ve always felt the channel can only survive if it grows WITH me so I’m grateful that the content is also resonating with you!!
@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge as someone who is about the turn 50 your content has always resonated with me and I am really grateful for it so thank you 🥰 I love the sense of community about your channel and your genuine honest content so thank you again xxxxx
Speaking of practical Christmas gifts:a few years ago I bought my daughter & son//daughter-in-law a large pkg of toilet paper(their preferred brand), another year,I got them an assortment of general first aid items & another year when I didn't have much money I knitted simple hats & scarves for all of my grandkids.
My friend's parents had a house fire and the remediation company boxed their things. While in extended stay it was determined it was best for her mom to go to an assisted care facility. The dad opened some boxes while he was in the refurbished house, until he too needed more care. Her estimate is there are 400 or more 📦 boxes. I'm overwhelmed just thinking about helping her! She knows she plans to let go of a lot but wants to review it all. Here's hoping it goes smoothly and quickly.
Wow, I'm not the only person who was reading Don Aslett as a child! (My favorite book of his was How Do I Clean the Moose Head?, and little kid me was very disappointed that my family did not, in fact, own a moose head.)
To watch more about Swedish Death Cleaning and see my whole house declutter, head here! th-cam.com/video/6AMtBmCZv70/w-d-xo.htmlsi=EvKirKgY77NHTeeq
Don Aslett changed my life.
@susanoline5823 it's changing my life immensely . It feels great getting rid of everything I don't use. It de-stresses my life, and it's less frustrating to find things, which is a time-saver.
I'm living in my parents condo, so it's a lot with both my parents stuff and my stuff. My mom didn't like empty cabinets. When I open a cabinet that's empty, I smile with a sigh of relief.
Maybe before getting rid of the sentimental stuff, take pictures of it, and write a history of the person with these items that tell about their lives.
Over a two year period I helped empty out 4 relatives homes. By house number 4 I felt like I couldn't deal with all the stuff in my own home. I started a major purge. My goal is not to leave my clutter for my children. Last year we and our adult children decided we all had everything we really needed and decided to stop exchanging gifts for Christmas and birthday and what a relief it was. It spurred me on to do the same thing with several friend and they were just as happy about the decisions. We still give to our grandchildren who are all still young. I'm finally feeling like I can breathe and enjoy the holidays.
I think the whole idea of not exchanging gifts is wonderful! It surely reduces the stress of the holidays. If people still feel compelled to give something, money is always a great option. The giver doesn't have to go out and search for the perfect size or color of an item, and the receiver can use the money for what they need / want after Christmas when there are great sales.
Yes just eat something good
I love that!❤
@joann5157 my friend"s
I had a beloved Swedish Grandma, who reminded me so much of the author. I have been on this Swedish Death Cleaning journey for a couple of years. I've been purging a lot, but also being intentional about what I keep. Very exhausting and emotional cleaning out my parents' (and sister's ) homes. They were organized but so much stuff. They were children of the Depression, and I tried not to be judgemental knowing they lived through very lean times. One good tip the author stresses-- Do not start with photos, or you won't get very far. This is where I am now. For each adult child, I have made photo albums and copied VHS to digital and DVD. Now they have a lot of their childhood, and I'm still here. After I'm gone, they can have an estate sale company clear it, or have a bonfire. Good luck to all on this journey. It is so worth the time.
I am sorting through all the photos now and it is emotionally draining. I am putting together the photo albums of their childhood for both my adult children. I know it will be worth it but it is exhausting. One day at a time.
@carolelancto3483 Yes, you and your loved ones will be so glad for your efforts. A little at a time and you will have done something very precious.
Good luck to you!! You can do it!
Similar to your family's approach - My son suggested we enjoy "experiences" rather than buy presents we don't really need. A Broadway show, a lovely dinner out, and a New Orleans swamp tour later, we are ALL converts! So much less stress and more fun!
I LOVE this. All the fun with nothing to store!!
Had to sell my parents house a couple years ago. Going through all their stuff was emotionally draining. I have made a commitment never to do that to my daughter.
Same!
My thinking is changing. We are about to empty 2 houses from elderly parents and there is so much stuff no one really wants. It really is making me think about my stuff and who will want it.
When I was a new Mom in 1980 I was given Don Asletts book “Is There Life After Housework?” Life Changing! I read ever single one of his books and my favorite was “Clutters Last Stand” which made me a clutter-free person for the last 44 years. The best way to live and enjoy raising 5 kids. Less stuff, less stress, more family time, more me time.
I read it also and enjoyed but continued to clutter anyway 😢
I love his books
Oooo Don Aslett books are awesome! Funny and easy to read, his words have inspired decades of mindful choices for me ❤
I loved Don Aslett’s books. I credit him with making me organized
I feel so much more relaxed and peaceful in my home since I decluttered my home. I gifted, sold and donated things I no longer wanted or needed. Now my home is clean, spacious, bright and simplified. 😃
Isn't it amazing? Such a difference in peace of mind!
For Christmas I buy my daughter tickets to a concert also a yearly pass to an amusement park or a yearly pass to the movies. She loves it!
A quote that I have never forgotten: “Look at all that clutter. It used to be money. “ Wow. Also, I love the minimal mom channel because she helps me to understand that everything that is in my home needs to be maintained, and takes physical and/or mental energy. That has helped me to prioritize whether something is really worthy of my head space and closet space. Evaluating that worthiness is a constant process, but very rewarding and liberating once you figure it out!
Such a great point!
There was an old Garfield comic where Jon came home with a new silly hat and Garfield thinks, “it’s amazing the things people would rather have than money.”
Similar to your quote, it really stuck with me. It was funny, of course, but it was also true.
Correct. But the best description is "“It used to be money ( and money = someone life hours“)
Why is it called "Swedish Death"?
It’s much easier for me to downsize. I have absolutely no family left to leave anything to and at 70 I am just keeping what I use.
I didn’t get far with the Swedish death cleaning, but Idid shred stuff that I would never want other people to look through/read.
It's a process...I declutter in phases. I go over areas several times a year and always find a thing or two that I don't use. It's definitely a big mental shift to let go. But the biggest thing is to stop bringing stuff into your house
I don't do Swedish death cleaning specifically. But after I found out about it and thought about others having to deal with my chaos, I finally had the drive to organize everything properly and keep it in order. There's still a lot of stuff, but in labeled boxes. This way my relatives could dispose of them without having to worry that there is still something important in them. Over time, I throw away more and more things when I realize that I don't use them. But thanks to the box system, I didn't have to decide everything directly and didn't have to order a garbage container.
Love this! Very considerate.
Sto facendo la stessa cosa!!!
Brilliant!
I started a tradition a few years ago with my adult children. I go to Hobby lobby and buy a large hat box each Christmas and fill it with things they need health and beauty products, gift cards, housewares, accessories, etc. That way I’m not buying a ton of things and they don’t have a ton of things they don’t want or need. They really look forward to getting the boxes every year
This is LOVELY and so kind!!
Did same for the 3 younguns this yr, all kitchen gadgets (good ones, like rly nice towels, cute scrubbers, tongs, magnetic toast tongs, good olive oil, etc. stuff I think no one buys for themselves) Maybe next yr we’ll just do a trip :) Working my way out of random gifts a bit…
Fabulous! I did this too for many years now it's just cash they want : )
Well they are getting way too many hat boxes...
Your home is a museum of who you were when you bought things.
Only if you don't use them regularly. But sounds about right. I like museums, but I wouldn't want to live in one. Great observation.
Slipped into this conversation I come across your brief, simplistic sentence that carries valuable wisdom. I’ve been a collector for decades. Each decade my collections change. As an example for a decade I collected little made in china dogs. Then there were the years when I collected antique Quilts, fabrics ( I sewed Quilts ), dolls,… I also became a portrait painter, creating at least 100 paintings. When we retired we moved to Florida. I decided to give my collections to my children and grandchildren. I gave them all of the photograph albums as well. Today, one year later, I regret giving all of my collections away. It was a mistake. Shredding two decades of journals was also a mistake. As for making things easier for our children when we die- to be honest I don’t care. My collections could well be like opening a treasure chest.
yes, sometimes we are impulsive. I’ve done that and have regretted a few things I’ve given away. We change through life. My children said they didn’t want anything, then years later I was asked if I had something and I regrettably sold it. This is life. We attach our hearts to some things as a remembrance. I still have things from high school I don’t know how to detach from. We’ll work it out, and if we don’t, it’s ok. ❤️
This is a profound statement
So grateful to you
katherineelizabethco:
You can't look at it from the point of view that you got many years of enjoying out of them so now it's time to move on?
You must be one of the fortunate ones who lives in a pretty little house with the white picket fence. Sounds like you need to experience some significant losses so you can put priorities in order. It's just *STUFF* for f&$k sake.
Count your blessings you've been able to sit down, take inventory of your *stuff*, touch it, look at it, admire it, talk to it.
Not everyone has that lap of luxury lifestyle.
Did a little search on Don Aslett, also known as the Sultan of Shine, Don Juan of the John, and the Dean of Clean. Looks like he’s still on this side of the sod and is 88 years old!
Don Aslett changed my life, no lie. I was laughing at the cartoons in clutter's last stand till WHAM one hit me between the eyes. I could no longer deny I was a clutterbug and realized that I wanted to change.
@@beauteoussounds1156 he used to sell his cleaning supplies on QVC.
This cleaning It’s about valuing what matters in life, living simple, financial freedom, escaping the rat race, living life on your terms and doing what genuinely makes you happy
Love this! Yes!
My mom always did S.D.C it gives a sense of satisfaction and happiness. We need to reflect that into our lives too, Genuine happiness!
I'm trying to build financial freedom, presently educating myself about personal finance and investing. Please point me in a direction of articles and books that are helpful, I've found it difficult to learn online
There are many options to explore like Stocks, ETFs, REITS etc. get a pro to guide you in. that will make it easier
Thanks for replying, can you recommend any articles and Pro to guide me? I'm looking to get started ASAP
Don Aslett is still alive and has a cleaning products supply store in Idaho Falls, Idaho. He also has the Museum of Clean in Pocatello, I believe. I also read his books years ago and it changed my thinking towards owning "things."
He used to have a store here in SLC! I've never been to Pocatello but seeing the Museum of Clean would be worth the trip 😊 Is it an actual museum??
Hi from Okinawa Japan! We give consumables for new years celebrations (the whole month of January) like a canned ham set, oil&soy sauce set, import cookie/cakes sets etc. and we give Summer Gifts similar and coffee sets. But, i like the Experiences idea! We went to Hokkaido with our adult son visiting from California.
We recently travelled to Japan and gift giving is next level there! I love the idea of specialty food and treats. So thoughtful and lovely. Thanks for watching!
When each of my three children moved out I gave them a home made medicine box because young people don’t think of small emergencies, oh and also a ‘ microwave’.
There is a sociologist by the name of Thorstein Veblen who coined the term: "Conspicuous Consumption (1899)." This means to consume or spend money on luxury commodities/ goods and services, specifically as a display of our personal economic power (the buyer). I've wrestled with this concept as I've purchased and accumulated goods over the years. I fell that as we move toward a greater sense of personal assurance and security we move away from displaying ourselves through our items. This gravitation or maturity moves us away from owning and consuming. I really identify with your journey.... you've got a new follower in me. :)
I’d heard the term but didn’t know the source! Thank you and I’m so glad you’re here:).
After spending months decluttering I realize that the "things" that we need are experiences, not more things. For my husband's birthday, my kids and I are taking him to an Escape Room which none of us have ever done before. We'll have the laughs and memories to share for years to come. That, to me, is far more valuable than stuff.
Your channel just popped up into my feed today. I'm currently going through a whole house declutter and have been watching videos to keep me motivated or give me ideas of things to declutter. Yesterday I came across another channel that was decluttering but at the same time promoting through sponsorship purchasing subscription boxes of things the person didn't really want or need. I immediately removed them from my history as that message is contradictory to what I'm doing. Then today I see this video and you've stated you aren't interested in affiliates that promote adding more stuff to your house. Thank you for such a refreshing message! I realize it's difficult for a TH-camr to do this as that is a source of money but I do applaud you for making this decision that more aligns to your message and goals. You've gained a sub from me for this.
Oh thank you and welcome!
My husband and I have been on a similar journey. In a 10 month period we lost our last 3 remaining parents. My husband's parents had downsized over the years and their last home, a small condo, was much easier to deal with. On the other hand, my parents left behind two homes in two different states stuffed full. It was so emotional going through all their things and it really was hard letting it go...but it was also freeing and became easier. Now, two years later, we have decided to downsize ourselves into a much smaller home. The experience of cleaning out our parents' home has made our downsizing process easier.
On your Christmas gift giving...Yes, we too have found that our gifts to our sons (in their 20's) are now becoming more practical too. One of their gifts from us this year was a fireproof lockbox, we found at Costco, to house their tax returns, passports and anything else they need to secure. My sons thought this was a great gift that they never would have thought to ask for.
Overall, I agree it has been a journey that is more profound than most people think!
Oh my goodness! I have a copy of "Clutter's Last Stand"! Iam pretty sure it is buried in the clutter in my home! Sad but true. 🙄🤭
Every January I go room by room. I do a deep clean and declutter in each one. I take as long as needed - some rooms are done in a day and some require multiple days. I am not at Swedish Death Cleaning level quite yet but each year I let more and more go. If I could go back I would have never accumulated as much stuff, that’s for sure. I know my son does not want much, if any, of my stuff and honestly even I don’t want a lot of it anymore either. Each year gets easier because I have been doing this for many years and I am not buying lots of stuff anymore. I have always liked quality over quantity so I don’t have a lot of “crap” but still have things to let go of. Love you and your channel. I am fairly new ( I found you through Adam Hattan on the Mediterranean Cruise you guys did). I love your positivity and kindness. 💜
My sister died unexpectedly last Fall at 51. Going through her stuff on top of losing her was so stressful. She kept all of her high school letters, etc.
When I got home I looked around and thought of everyone having to go through my junk drawers and closets and how annoying it would be.
I had decluttered the whole house 3 yrs before, but it was already building back up again.
I’m so sorry for your loss. That is far too young.
Same. My sister died unexpectedly last year, and she had been living in my parent's home, so I had generations of stuff. Ugh. I simply can't leave this for my kids
Everything you were just talking about is exactly what I have been doing recently! I keep saying that the pandemic gave me organization - some people baked, some people did puzzles - I organized things! After Christmas this year as I was putting my many, many, Christmas decorations away I decided to pare down - to declutter. So I was fairly ruthless and eliminated many things that I either don't use anymore, don't want or have too many of. As a matter of fact I set these things aside and tomorrow my daughter and my adult granddaughter and their families are coming over for a "snack and game day" and they are going to look at all the things I am getting rid of and they can take the things they want and the rest will be donated. It really feels good! Thank you for your videos I thoroughly enjoy them all!!
When my mum died owning a small flat, it was heartbreaking for my two sisters and I to go through it while mourning as well. I have blocked out most of it because it is too painful to think about. My mother kept quite a minimal home with good quality items. I am dreading going through my father-in-laws house when he passes on as it is bordering on hoarding. He knows I find his home overwhelming, but he thinks it is funny to keep buying things to further fill his four bedroom house. He even sends me WhatsApp photos of things he buys with the message 'more stuff'. To save me stress when the time comes, I have decided to phone the Salvation Army charity, open the door, and let them take the lot.
That’s a lot. And quite manipulative. Hang in there and I think your plan for his stuff is more than reasonable!
I have and read all of Don Aslett’s books! They were so helpful in my early years as a new wife. 👍
I read a couple of them and enjoyed them. They might still be upstairs! I have a big house and 6 grown children and have been decluttering for the past few years since my husband died. I might (probably) will be moving closer to one of the kids and there's A LOT that I don't need to take with me! It's hard to get rid of so many memories of our 38 years in this house but nice to see the book shelves less full and some of the games gone and some of the bunk beds/dressers/cabinets, etc. gone. I've got more to go but I'm making progress!
Way to go, Nola! Proud OF ya! I'm going to try to follow your example!
THIS!!!!!! A thousand gazillion times THIS!!!!! We all have TOO.MUCH.STUFF!!!!!
I did the same thing with my son for Xmas. I bought him food, toiletries and all things he needs that he can’t afford to stock up on
I'm 71 and after cleaning up after others passed .. I do not want to do this to anyone ... I've started to declutter , slowly but no have started ... separating emotionally can be difficult , somehow these thing became part of who I was but am no more
Thank you so much for sharing! I have been constantly decluttering over the years and it's so freeing:) I love buying clothes second hand and for Christmas we give our children "only" some money so they can invest it in whatever they want.
I just spent a week decluttering my room and clothes. It feels so good!😊
WELL DONE!
Yes it does😊
Since I have been on the decluttering journey for about 2 years, I have noticed that stuff really stresses me out now, so I can totally relate to what she is saying.
Watching this in my bed with bags full of my parents stuff around me , and a garage full of stuff I don’t need or want but i could not let go yet- after donating several dozens boxes and filling two 13 ft dumpsters :(- how . I wish my mom and dad read that book - it was an emotional rollercoaster for sure - and it’s not over.what’s for sure is that I’ll do differently for my kids
I am so sorry. Thank you for your comment though. I think a lot of people will be impacted by your words.
I noticed that after my parents died, as time passed I didn’t have the same feelings about items that I had right after it happened. I’ve been able to let go of more of their items. I really tried to find a use for items and now if I haven’t found a use, I am comfortable with getting rid of them. I do have difficulty with photos though. I wish I had the money to send all the photos to someone to scan. Then I could put together specific framed pictures for all the grandchildren and give them the digital collection.
Same. Ugh
Oh my goodness! I read a couple of his books and they really helped. I had completely forgotten about them. I'm glad I found your channel!
I just found you tonight and laugh at the topic, as I have been doing this for the last 6-8 years saying just that, "I am purging so our only child doesn't have to deal with all the crap we have". OMG, it feels so good, I am 63, my daughter 23, my husband 74, so things could change quickly now with this family as we are older parents. Funny how an area can be purged, but find a year later, more can be purged as well. I just wish my husband shared my enthusiasm, he has my old horse barn, his shop, the "boys club" outbuilding and garage FILLED with stuff and I keep telling him it would be unfair to leave all this for our daughter to deal with. So, seeing this video tonight has gotten me to try once again to get him to start it as well, because if he doesn't, I will and he won't be happy that I am dumping his stuff. Thank you!
Just do your own stuff. Stay out of his space.
His stuff is causing him more COPD illness, it is junk, we are talking empty oil bottles, dead squirrels in empty boxes filled with feces of rodents. Basement office also filled with dead rodents in his file cabinets with feces/urine. Old checks from 1976, paper files from long deceased customers. It is a health hazard, daughter was always sick when here, at college and now her own place she isn’t having issues, when she visits she gets feeling crappy again. This isn’t healthy “stuff” to have around inside home or in other outbuildings.
I love the "necessities" gifts and as my adult children now live in their own homes i also include a "tea/coffee/laundry detergent/" necessities box for them with a takeaway gift token so that in the long cold month of January, before their next pay-day, they have some basics and some treats.😊
I too have made the decision to make this year my year for Swedish Death Cleaning. I have discovered that it is becoming very easy to shop intentionally. Many things you have said speak to me. My husband is actually decluttering more than I thought possible. He has many more things that still bring him joy…lol
Been feeling the same way of trying to declutter anything that doesn’t have a purpose and paring down just purchasing items because I like it and questioning myself do I really need this or how often will I use this! This Christmas I told my adult kids I will buy one thing you really want/need and then purchased everyday items they use or need for their places. I don’t want my house to become like my parents with too much accumulated. It stresses me out thinking about how will I ever get through all their things left behind. One drawer/cabinet at a time!
We used to sell on eBay mostly musical instruments. Leftovers sold in two or three resale booths 2-3 hrs away. Not only the clutter but the time involved was wearing on us. It wasn’t fun anymore. Got my garage back first time in over 20 years, can park in there now. Hubby and I now concentrate on career and have more time and money
Hi Jen! Hahaha! I read Don Aslet’s book too! I don’t know if it was in that book of his or another book of his, but he wrote extensively about setting up your house to clean itself. Many good ideas about that!
Loved that book! Funny and interesting. Nancy hunkered down in a very cold Charleston South Carolina
The book you are talking about is called “Make your house do the housework”. It’s been so helpful.
Jen, you're speaking my language. I've been highly organized since childhood. Mom always said she never had to get after me to clean up anything. When my death occurs, all of my household items, EVERYTHING, will be donated to a local, extremely high end thrift store that my friends own. My will states this. My only child, an adult, will come in, choose whatever he wants first. The rest? Bye-bye!
Love this Donna. A very kind and compassionate estate plan!
@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge Thanks, Jen. Even better, is my son won't have to clean, or dispose of anything. These friends will do it all.
My son recently told me, "When you die, it's all gonna be up to me to sift through. And I'd sooner set a match to it."
I get it. My MIL was a hoarder. The big joke was the only fight after she passed would be who gets to light the match. We ended up filling 5 roll offs. The ones that take up half a double driveway. The company was kind and gave us a discount. However, it has encouraged my husbands Aunt to get her act together and start cleaning out, so there’s that. I wish you luck on your journey. X
Hi Jen, greetings from Ohio! I'm so happy to have discovered your channel. My husband and I are getting ready to move and your video came at the perfect time. We've moved many times and are ready to seriously pare down. Christmas has become much more meaningful with less stuff.
Swedish Death cleaning is what I’ve been thinking about but didn’t know it had a name! When my mother in law passed there was so much for the family to go through. Five children so many hands made quick work, but it was a lot. This is not what I want for my kids. It’s best for us too so we are not drowning in our stuff. I am fairly new to your channel. I really loved the videos with yourself and Adam Hattan so I subscribed to your channel. I’ve found more than travel on your channel❤️You can tell you are living your best life and I am here for it.
I just found out some of my inherited jewelry that was thought to be valuable by myself and previous owners wasn’t worth much. Just storing stuff no one will want.
Hi! I just discovered and subscribed to your channel. Totally relate to your intro: reading home keeping books from the library as a youth including being an early Martha Stewart fan. Glad to have found your channel. 😊 I am close to retirement and ready to get back to organizing and would like to travel again!
I'm so happy you're here! Thank you so much for subscribing!
I feel like this hit me last year at the end of summer where i was just so tired of the "stuff" and i did a pretty deep declutter but im back at it again !😅 And the Christmas gift giving it was very eye opening for me especially now in my current situation....my kids have EVERYTHING and going forward its going to be very simple and i would much rather take them away for a weekend. AND pretty much cut out the Disney parks merch/shopping.
I started watching your travel packing videos, but also love decluttering videos. Both on one site!
I was also a 9ish year old reading Don Aslett books! High five to us! 😆 Thank you for making such a kind and thoughtful video. This can be a sensitive topic and you handled it beautifully and practically. I’m a happy new subscriber!
Grandma tried to gift me some of her beloved items. I said, no grandma, you keep it. I ended up with it after she died anyway. Now I know why she wanted to give it to me. I’m grandma’s age now. Time to let her things live on at someone else’s home.
Your suggestions here really resonate with me. It’s interesting that what you described about how you shopped for Christmas gifts in prior years, is almost identical to what my approach was. And, likewise I changed my gift giving this year similar to what you did! Moving forward I’m going to continue this journey - it just feels right. Thanks for sharing
Im trying to shift my mindset to declutter. It's difficult. I like my stuff. I worked hard for my stuff, but now I've got too much stuff. BUT!!! Because of your videos, I DID go through all the Christmas boxes last week, and before i stored things back in them, anything i had not put out (obviously not meaningful or was broken or just not my style anymore) got put in bags to be donated. I went through the wrapping supplies and recycled a ton of paper, bags and ribbons that weren't useful. I really put thought into how things went back into storage. So, baby steps. I'll feel good next Christmas and try some more purging next year. In the meantime, I'm tackling small spaces and eventually, I'll get to my office and the garage. 🤪🤯 But thank you for always inspiring and gently nudging me toward a less cluttered house and mind. ☺️
Anna this is EXACTLY the way. In times past I would feel like a failure because I couldn’t do it all but this mentality can slowly but surely transform our relationship to our things! Thank you for sharing that it’s very encouraging.🥰
I did a lot of decluttering during shutdowns. It felt great! I do like buying stockings and lots of gifts for my adult children and their spouses. I was spoiled at Christmas and I want to spoil. I should talk to them about an experience instead of gifts. They might be more open to it than I think!
Although I did declutter some of my Christmas decorations a few years ago (one of my daughters wanted them), I like to rotate my Christmas decorations to keep things fresh-looking. I guess you could say that I like to “mix it up” - always something different like in a different room or grouping than the last time I used it several years earlier. I don’t use it all at once; I concentrate on themes. I also rotate my hanging art and tablescape collections.
I love experience gifts like movie tickets, broadways show or local theatre or out to dinner or coffee gift cards. Six years ago I had to clean my sister's home when she died.She was an organized hoarder and it was a nightmare for me. Last year I had two heart attacks;one from long Covid and the second from getting Covid again.I also had a mini stroke from long covid. My home is pretty decluttered, but this made me want to get rid of even more things and be extremely minimal. If I have wind up dying from all of these health issues, I don't want my son and my husband to have to go through my things while they also deal with grief.
Those are wonderful revelations and changes as a result of your decluttering journey!
I'm definitely in the stage of life where I am starting to think about stuff and how much of it I have. I keep a neat (but not minimalist) house, and my friends think I am pretty organized/clean. However I do have more than I want to have. I have the easiest time getting rid of clothing. Did a huge closet cleanup last year, and I try to get rid of a piece (or more) whenever I bring a new piece in. I also help my college-aged son go through/get rid of worn out/outgrown clothing. Last year, he and I did a huge toy clean out, but even so, we kept more than we should. My biggest area of struggle is with memorabilia: kids' art, certificates, records, trophies/ribbons, greeting cards, special toys and knickknacks, etc. I feel like this is the kind of stuff that facilitates access to special memories. Sure, one could take pictures, but it's not the same experience as touching, reading, looking at the actual items. I am of two minds about this category of stuff: part of me says we should scale back and part of me is an archivist at heart. I see people on Facebook who pull up their old high school and childhood objects and take great joy at having them, sharing them, showing them to their own children. I suppose there is a happy medium--some kind of balance between minimalism and archiving and cataloging, but I haven't found it yet.
So well said! I completely agree with everything you’ve shared in this thoughtful video. Well done Jen!
Yay for you ! You wont regret this new mindset.
Love this concept. Went back and watched your other videos on the topic. I have been on the swedish death cleaning journey for a bit over a year since my eldest moved out. It is very satisfying and an ongoing process ….. thanks for the encouragement.
Yes, our family has changed to mostly food gifts! This had ended the holiday clutter and waste, the stress of how to deal with gifts you did not really like but are concerned about the giver noticing if you get rid of it, and the stress of finding a gift for someone who already has everything. Food is fun and temporary and no one knows what you do with it. Food can be adventurous or gourmet or an old favorite.
Food is fun and temporary and no one knows what you do with it! Genius!
I grew up reading Don Aslett, too! Apparently he just died last week (August 21, 2024), at age 89.
Jen, you are exemplary at what you do. There is an undeniable professionalism (and yet relatability) to your presentation and a wealth to your knowledge/experience. I wonder if you have ever considered moving up and out of TH-cam to something like your own home show on HGTV or other like channels. You’d be such a hit! And such a help to many more viewers. Give it some serious consideration. I’d be thrilled for you ❤.
This is truly such a kind and appreciate comment. We will see and I never say never! Thank you for being so encouraging.🥰🥰🥰
I don’t know that going to a network would bring her more viewers. I, for 1, would be lost to her material. HGTV is, like the other networks, much more concerned with ad revenue and pushing certain narratives, and unconcerned with actually helping viewers. So many come to TH-cam for real content versus narrative content. Just my $.02. 🤷♀️
@@mysonsmom9754 sad truth.
For me, I'm not crazy about the idea of plants, I feel like somebody's giving me something I don't want to take care of. For Christmas, I have just started giving gift cards or cash. They can go on an adventure or buy something they know they want. We feel that spending Christmas day together is the joy, not the gift that we get.
This. I hear you on the plants. I've started just saying "no" if somebody tries to give me a plant. I have no interest in keeping them alive.
Thanks so much for this! I’ve started doing this cleaning and already feeling lighter
I loved Clutter's Last Stand when I was a kid, too! I loved to declutter before it was cool.
Thank you for sharing this! I love the objective review you're giving here. (Also your hair looks great!)
I've read all Don Hazlett's books over the years, loved them. I remember him saying to "Be prepared."
Gifts- We do "want, need, wear, and read"- plus EXPERIENCES we can remember as a family.
Jen, I really enjoy following along on your journeys because I’m finding that you are addressing all the things that I am also addressing in my life. So many of your life experiences mirror my own. Keep doing what you’re doing!
What a kind comment, Heather! Thank you! As I evolve and grow, my content will, too, and I'm so glad you're here on the journey with me!
So I did the S.D.C. the month before my sister-in-law was arriving from Sweden. I had only two days left to finish, (all just paper products, paperwork etc which I'd sorted and had on all the tabletops to finish) the next day. It ended up with instead, almost being the Canadian Death Cleaning for ME! I went to bed and during the night had a stroke, falling out onto the floor. I was alone, couldn't get up, and most importantly couldn't reach my cell phone. I laid there for 12 hours. Finally I prayed to die, but thought of my mother, and immediately prayed to NOT die, but to live and be saved. I then got some SUPER energy and was able to get to my phone. Getting to hospital 13 hours after a stroke certainly isn't ideal. I wasn't expected to live, but thanks to prayer, I'm here today, and am very well Thank God. This experience nearly killed me. So my advise is, take it slowly, and don't do more than you think you can handle.
So glad you're OK!
Thanks Jen. My husband just told me today that his sister is coming from Sweden to stay with us again!(I had the stroke 2 yrs ago now) I DO love her, but my heart just kinda skipped a bit when he told me! No more super duper clearing up to be done though. He can clean her room though, I ain't chancing it. LOL!
I love Dan!!! He was my first cleaning inspiration
Me, too. I still have one of his books.
Really great content! I am in this stage as well and also enjoy advising others when they ask.
Okay I was a weird clutter averse kid too. In high school my friends would invite me over to deep clean their rooms and literally let me boss them around all day in the name of cleaning and decluttering. As an adult I realized I could have been making some good money off my friends back in the day, 😂
It's true . . . maybe send them a bill now? For services rendered. LOL
Every year I buy two of my friends a book for Christmas and this year the book I bought is The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. As I've followed along on your videos I've been doing this in a very small and slow fashion but I'm excited to get my copy too just to read and keep myself motivated.
I love this idea!
Not a ton of clutter, but 3 years from retirement and consolidation of homes/downsizing, I know the items that I will be passing on, selling and donating - it is hard because I wish I could do it all NOW .
I bought "Clutter's Last Stand" by Don Aslett in 1986. I saw it while browsing the bookshop at the Australian National University in Canberra. The title here was "Freedom from Clutter" (probably because General George Custer doesn't resonate much with the average Aussie.) It began me on my decluttering journey.
Instead of a big party for my Son's birthdays (21st &18th) I said we can have a birthday that everyone else can have a good time or we can go on a holiday- they picked the holiday and we had amazing time and still have to go on our other holiday but we made memories which was so much better, we had a dinner out for our immediate family and that was it, I am going through things and I really have to think about what is sitting in a box and is it of use , I have just gone through one room and oh my , it felt amazing 😊
love this! This Christmas we did very little gift giving/receiving and it was glorious, so much less stress. I've started watching less and less "haul videos" & if I do I try watch I try to think of what I already own that is similar.
Yes I’ve been doing a lot of shopping in my own closet - so many things that I love and sometimes forget I own!
It might sound like a silly idea, but how about giving your newlywed children or even if they just move out on their own , a very practical gift is a bag of rags. Which young person has a rag for cleaning that oil spil in the garage or for dirty jobs in the house?
Love this! I'm still in the little kids phase but working on paring down some of the useless things in the attic & basement.
Future Liz will appreciate your efforts!!
I love gifting experiences - the memories are priceless. Bonus if I get to tag along (gifted my honey a stay at the Polynesian for his birthday last year - I got to go tool! Maybe it's selfish...I call it self-love)
I haven't done the Swedish Death Cleaning thing technically but I noticed after my Mama died I found myself just not buying things and slowly getting rid of things. I have done the if I buy something I get rid of something for years, even before that. I'm a shoe and purse addict so I made myself always get rid of a pair of shoes or a purse any time I bought one. I also started buying only the "real" things around that time. I'll admit, I own some clothes I've had for over 20 years, I only wear them around the house but I can't make myself get rid of them because they are just perfect for days like today when it's cold and I'm being lazy so that old Amelia Island long sleeve sweatshirt type shirt is just comfortable. We told family years ago not to get us gifts and hubby and I stopped exchanging gifts for any occasion years ago. We are lucky enough to be that couple that if we wanted or needed something we just got it ourselves so gifts were things we just didn't want or need. Do I still have way too much stuff in my house? Yep. This is partially a joke but I'm determined my son should have to go through it all so I linger a bit. Again, partially a joke and partially what I do still have around makes me happy. Do I need the dolls from different countries my Mama started for me when I was 3 and have been added to over the years? No. Are some of them worth a lot of money? Yes. Am I getting rid of them? No.
I think the best part of this process is it is and SHOULD be unique to every individual. No set rules or rigid guidelines just what feels right for YOU. Thank you for this comment - all so true and I think others will find it encouraging!
Well… this was rather inspirational. Cleaning, tidying at 2 AM(!!!).
Glad to hear it! And listen, the inspiration strikes when it DOES so I am all for the 2am tidying!
This is so inspiring!
I bought a decluttering book in my late 20’s (yep, that is def slightly weird) It was called How to Conquer Clutter. (Found it just now online, 1989!) The amazing thing was every few years I cleaned a small space, & that darn book would just turn up! It was witchery. Followed me through many moves. Haven’t seen it lately though, and that’s clearly been a problem 😉
Have got a large bag of Xmas giveaways from packing up this year. And yes, I thought I cleaned it all out last year! It’s sort of never ending… I do actually enjoy the holiday smallering though. Next year should be even better.
I used to have a big collection of horse figurines. Well, I have thinned the herd lately. I have one corner shelf in my bedroom and I have a curio cabinet in the living room. All my Nikki neck stuff has been trimmed down to fit in those two places. So I did get rid of quite a few. And I don’t miss them.
Great job, foster the momentum and keep up the progress!
We went on vacation in Florida for Christmas with only one daughters family and parents in law (other 3kids not there) . Dramatically less stressful. Didn’t decorate or shop much .
☠️🤣 this is the first I’ve heard of this concept, it’s pretty great! Awesome CK dress find, score!
These are some of the things that I parted with over the past couple of years that I will never again have in my house: 1) A box of my old childhood knick knacks. 2) A box of collectible dolls. 3) My HS prom dress and several Brides Maid and formal dance gowns - all worn one time and never again. 4) Cook books that I hadn't looked at in years 5) A couple of boxes of old dishes and bowls that were taking up room in our garage. 6) Bookshelves full books - we still have plenty of books but we got rid of A LOT and will never acquire so many again 7) Old bed linens, blankets, comforters, towels and table cloths that we hadn't used in forever. 8) Boxes of old papers that we no longer needed - shredded and tossed. 9) Artwork that was stuffed away in a closet - this is the biggest home that we will ever live in, if it isn't being displayed now, we don't need it. 10) Old, decrepit dog crates that went straight out for garbage pick up. 11) Numerous lamps. I could go on, but you get the picture. Much of the stuff had been given to us second hand from older relatives "just in case" we could use it but we never did.
I like to rotate my hanging art and tablescape collections.
I am just now subbing and … I have no idea what’s going on. I’ll have to watch your other channel to find out but I’m super intrigued
I appreciate your good advice. I'm starting here.
Hi, I just downloaded this book on my library card app (Libby), and here your video is talking about this concept and the book. So glad I saw it!
Oh I hope you love the book!! It’s been such a perspective shift for me
I just love this way of living and I actually think it will make for even more interesting content. Not just interesting but even more authentic, calm and relaxing. I have following a few subscribers in the past and their vlogs became all about have, have, have which I think as content has a very short life and just isn’t the type of content I want to spend time watching often. I love all of your content - it makes me feel calm and happy ❤️❤️❤️❤️xxx
Ps you have totally inspired me to attempt this way of loving - thank you ❤️
Sorry meant to say, this Christmas my husband bought me a couple of things I genuinely needed and an afternoon tea experience which we enjoyed with our daughter yesterday. I value experience over things so much these day. If you are ever in the UK and are visiting Oxford, make sure you enjoy afternoon tea at The Randolf Hotel - just so delicious and a beautiful hotel xxx
I love that you were gifted a lovely afternoon with people you care about! And thank you for the kind words. I’ve always felt the channel can only survive if it grows WITH me so I’m grateful that the content is also resonating with you!!
@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge as someone who is about the turn 50 your content has always resonated with me and I am really grateful for it so thank you 🥰 I love the sense of community about your channel and your genuine honest content so thank you again xxxxx
Speaking of practical Christmas gifts:a few years ago I bought my daughter & son//daughter-in-law a large pkg of toilet paper(their preferred brand), another year,I got them an assortment of general first aid items & another year when I didn't have much money I knitted simple hats & scarves for all of my grandkids.
My friend's parents had a house fire and the remediation company boxed their things. While in extended stay it was determined it was best for her mom to go to an assisted care facility. The dad opened some boxes while he was in the refurbished house, until he too needed more care. Her estimate is there are 400 or more 📦 boxes. I'm overwhelmed just thinking about helping her! She knows she plans to let go of a lot but wants to review it all. Here's hoping it goes smoothly and quickly.
My friend's family all agreed to shop each other's closets for Christmas. They wrapped up the stuff and unwrapped while the kids did their thing
Wow, I'm not the only person who was reading Don Aslett as a child! (My favorite book of his was How Do I Clean the Moose Head?, and little kid me was very disappointed that my family did not, in fact, own a moose head.)