Swedish Death Cleaning Has Changed Me
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 มิ.ย. 2024
- Today I'm sharing the way my months long journey with Swedish Death Cleaning has changed me and it's far more profound than I would ever have thought before I began!
Here's the link to Don Aslett's Website! donaslett.com/
And to buy The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, visit your nearest locally owned bookstore! They could use the business and it's one less sale going to Amazon.
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To watch more about Swedish Death Cleaning and see my whole house declutter, head here! th-cam.com/video/6AMtBmCZv70/w-d-xo.htmlsi=EvKirKgY77NHTeeq
Don Aslett changed my life.
Over a two year period I helped empty out 4 relatives homes. By house number 4 I felt like I couldn't deal with all the stuff in my own home. I started a major purge. My goal is not to leave my clutter for my children. Last year we and our adult children decided we all had everything we really needed and decided to stop exchanging gifts for Christmas and birthday and what a relief it was. It spurred me on to do the same thing with several friend and they were just as happy about the decisions. We still give to our grandchildren who are all still young. I'm finally feeling like I can breathe and enjoy the holidays.
I think the whole idea of not exchanging gifts is wonderful! It surely reduces the stress of the holidays. If people still feel compelled to give something, money is always a great option. The giver doesn't have to go out and search for the perfect size or color of an item, and the receiver can use the money for what they need / want after Christmas when there are great sales.
Yes just eat something good
Similar to your family's approach - My son suggested we enjoy "experiences" rather than buy presents we don't really need. A Broadway show, a lovely dinner out, and a New Orleans swamp tour later, we are ALL converts! So much less stress and more fun!
I LOVE this. All the fun with nothing to store!!
Had to sell my parents house a couple years ago. Going through all their stuff was emotionally draining. I have made a commitment never to do that to my daughter.
Same!
I had a beloved Swedish Grandma, who reminded me so much of the author. I have been on this Swedish Death Cleaning journey for a couple of years. I've been purging a lot, but also being intentional about what I keep. Very exhausting and emotional cleaning out my parents' (and sister's ) homes. They were organized but so much stuff. They were children of the Depression, and I tried not to be judgemental knowing they lived through very lean times. One good tip the author stresses-- Do not start with photos, or you won't get very far. This is where I am now. For each adult child, I have made photo albums and copied VHS to digital and DVD. Now they have a lot of their childhood, and I'm still here. After I'm gone, they can have an estate sale company clear it, or have a bonfire. Good luck to all on this journey. It is so worth the time.
When I was a new Mom in 1980 I was given Don Asletts book “Is There Life After Housework?” Life Changing! I read ever single one of his books and my favorite was “Clutters Last Stand” which made me a clutter-free person for the last 44 years. The best way to live and enjoy raising 5 kids. Less stuff, less stress, more family time, more me time.
I read it also and enjoyed but continued to clutter anyway 😢
I love his books
Oooo Don Aslett books are awesome! Funny and easy to read, his words have inspired decades of mindful choices for me ❤
I loved Don Aslett’s books. I credit him with making me organized
Your home is a museum of who you were when you bought things.
Only if you don't use them regularly. But sounds about right. I like museums, but I wouldn't want to live in one. Great observation.
Slipped into this conversation I come across your brief, simplistic sentence that carries valuable wisdom. I’ve been a collector for decades. Each decade my collections change. As an example for a decade I collected little made in china dogs. Then there were the years when I collected antique Quilts, fabrics ( I sewed Quilts ), dolls,… I also became a portrait painter, creating at least 100 paintings. When we retired we moved to Florida. I decided to give my collections to my children and grandchildren. I gave them all of the photograph albums as well. Today, one year later, I regret giving all of my collections away. It was a mistake. Shredding two decades of journals was also a mistake. As for making things easier for our children when we die- to be honest I don’t care. My collections could well be like opening a treasure chest.
yes, sometimes we are impulsive. I’ve done that and have regretted a few things I’ve given away. We change through life. My children said they didn’t want anything, then years later I was asked if I had something and I regrettably sold it. This is life. We attach our hearts to some things as a remembrance. I still have things from high school I don’t know how to detach from. We’ll work it out, and if we don’t, it’s ok. ❤️
This is a profound statement
So grateful to you
katherineelizabethco:
You can't look at it from the point of view that you got many years of enjoying out of them so now it's time to move on?
You must be one of the fortunate ones who lives in a pretty little house with the white picket fence. Sounds like you need to experience some significant losses so you can put priorities in order. It's just *STUFF* for f&$k sake.
Count your blessings you've been able to sit down, take inventory of your *stuff*, touch it, look at it, admire it, talk to it.
Not everyone has that lap of luxury lifestyle.
Did a little search on Don Aslett, also known as the Sultan of Shine, Don Juan of the John, and the Dean of Clean. Looks like he’s still on this side of the sod and is 88 years old!
For Christmas I buy my daughter tickets to a concert also a yearly pass to an amusement park or a yearly pass to the movies. She loves it!
I didn’t get far with the Swedish death cleaning, but Idid shred stuff that I would never want other people to look through/read.
My thinking is changing. We are about to empty 2 houses from elderly parents and there is so much stuff no one really wants. It really is making me think about my stuff and who will want it.
A quote that I have never forgotten: “Look at all that clutter. It used to be money. “ Wow. Also, I love the minimal mom channel because she helps me to understand that everything that is in my home needs to be maintained, and takes physical and/or mental energy. That has helped me to prioritize whether something is really worthy of my head space and closet space. Evaluating that worthiness is a constant process, but very rewarding and liberating once you figure it out!
Such a great point!
It’s much easier for me to downsize. I have absolutely no family left to leave anything to and at 70 I am just keeping what I use.
Don Aslett is still alive and has a cleaning products supply store in Idaho Falls, Idaho. He also has the Museum of Clean in Pocatello, I believe. I also read his books years ago and it changed my thinking towards owning "things."
I started a tradition a few years ago with my adult children. I go to Hobby lobby and buy a large hat box each Christmas and fill it with things they need health and beauty products, gift cards, housewares, accessories, etc. That way I’m not buying a ton of things and they don’t have a ton of things they don’t want or need. They really look forward to getting the boxes every year
This is LOVELY and so kind!!
Did same for the 3 younguns this yr, all kitchen gadgets (good ones, like rly nice towels, cute scrubbers, tongs, magnetic toast tongs, good olive oil, etc. stuff I think no one buys for themselves) Maybe next yr we’ll just do a trip :) Working my way out of random gifts a bit…
Fabulous! I did this too for many years now it's just cash they want : )
Well they are getting way too many hat boxes...
I feel so much more relaxed and peaceful in my home since I decluttered my home. I gifted, sold and donated things I no longer wanted or needed. Now my home is clean, spacious, bright and simplified. 😃
Isn't it amazing? Such a difference in peace of mind!
When each of my three children moved out I gave them a home made medicine box because young people don’t think of small emergencies, oh and also a ‘ microwave’.
Hi from Okinawa Japan! We give consumables for new years celebrations (the whole month of January) like a canned ham set, oil&soy sauce set, import cookie/cakes sets etc. and we give Summer Gifts similar and coffee sets. But, i like the Experiences idea! We went to Hokkaido with our adult son visiting from California.
We recently travelled to Japan and gift giving is next level there! I love the idea of specialty food and treats. So thoughtful and lovely. Thanks for watching!
I have and read all of Don Aslett’s books! They were so helpful in my early years as a new wife. 👍
I read a couple of them and enjoyed them. They might still be upstairs! I have a big house and 6 grown children and have been decluttering for the past few years since my husband died. I might (probably) will be moving closer to one of the kids and there's A LOT that I don't need to take with me! It's hard to get rid of so many memories of our 38 years in this house but nice to see the book shelves less full and some of the games gone and some of the bunk beds/dressers/cabinets, etc. gone. I've got more to go but I'm making progress!
My sister died unexpectedly last Fall at 51. Going through her stuff on top of losing her was so stressful. She kept all of her high school letters, etc.
When I got home I looked around and thought of everyone having to go through my junk drawers and closets and how annoying it would be.
I had decluttered the whole house 3 yrs before, but it was already building back up again.
I’m so sorry for your loss. That is far too young.
Oh my goodness! I have a copy of "Clutter's Last Stand"! Iam pretty sure it is buried in the clutter in my home! Sad but true. 🙄🤭
My son recently told me, "When you die, it's all gonna be up to me to sift through. And I'd sooner set a match to it."
My husband and I have been on a similar journey. In a 10 month period we lost our last 3 remaining parents. My husband's parents had downsized over the years and their last home, a small condo, was much easier to deal with. On the other hand, my parents left behind two homes in two different states stuffed full. It was so emotional going through all their things and it really was hard letting it go...but it was also freeing and became easier. Now, two years later, we have decided to downsize ourselves into a much smaller home. The experience of cleaning out our parents' home has made our downsizing process easier.
On your Christmas gift giving...Yes, we too have found that our gifts to our sons (in their 20's) are now becoming more practical too. One of their gifts from us this year was a fireproof lockbox, we found at Costco, to house their tax returns, passports and anything else they need to secure. My sons thought this was a great gift that they never would have thought to ask for.
Overall, I agree it has been a journey that is more profound than most people think!
I did the same thing with my son for Xmas. I bought him food, toiletries and all things he needs that he can’t afford to stock up on
There is a sociologist by the name of Thorstein Veblen who coined the term: "Conspicuous Consumption (1899)." This means to consume or spend money on luxury commodities/ goods and services, specifically as a display of our personal economic power (the buyer). I've wrestled with this concept as I've purchased and accumulated goods over the years. I fell that as we move toward a greater sense of personal assurance and security we move away from displaying ourselves through our items. This gravitation or maturity moves us away from owning and consuming. I really identify with your journey.... you've got a new follower in me. :)
I’d heard the term but didn’t know the source! Thank you and I’m so glad you’re here:).
I don't do Swedish death cleaning specifically. But after I found out about it and thought about others having to deal with my chaos, I finally had the drive to organize everything properly and keep it in order. There's still a lot of stuff, but in labeled boxes. This way my relatives could dispose of them without having to worry that there is still something important in them. Over time, I throw away more and more things when I realize that I don't use them. But thanks to the box system, I didn't have to decide everything directly and didn't have to order a garbage container.
Love this! Very considerate.
Sto facendo la stessa cosa!!!
Your channel just popped up into my feed today. I'm currently going through a whole house declutter and have been watching videos to keep me motivated or give me ideas of things to declutter. Yesterday I came across another channel that was decluttering but at the same time promoting through sponsorship purchasing subscription boxes of things the person didn't really want or need. I immediately removed them from my history as that message is contradictory to what I'm doing. Then today I see this video and you've stated you aren't interested in affiliates that promote adding more stuff to your house. Thank you for such a refreshing message! I realize it's difficult for a TH-camr to do this as that is a source of money but I do applaud you for making this decision that more aligns to your message and goals. You've gained a sub from me for this.
Oh thank you and welcome!
THIS!!!!!! A thousand gazillion times THIS!!!!! We all have TOO.MUCH.STUFF!!!!!
Since I have been on the decluttering journey for about 2 years, I have noticed that stuff really stresses me out now, so I can totally relate to what she is saying.
I just spent a week decluttering my room and clothes. It feels so good!😊
WELL DONE!
Yes it does😊
We used to sell on eBay mostly musical instruments. Leftovers sold in two or three resale booths 2-3 hrs away. Not only the clutter but the time involved was wearing on us. It wasn’t fun anymore. Got my garage back first time in over 20 years, can park in there now. Hubby and I now concentrate on career and have more time and money
Everything you were just talking about is exactly what I have been doing recently! I keep saying that the pandemic gave me organization - some people baked, some people did puzzles - I organized things! After Christmas this year as I was putting my many, many, Christmas decorations away I decided to pare down - to declutter. So I was fairly ruthless and eliminated many things that I either don't use anymore, don't want or have too many of. As a matter of fact I set these things aside and tomorrow my daughter and my adult granddaughter and their families are coming over for a "snack and game day" and they are going to look at all the things I am getting rid of and they can take the things they want and the rest will be donated. It really feels good! Thank you for your videos I thoroughly enjoy them all!!
Every January I go room by room. I do a deep clean and declutter in each one. I take as long as needed - some rooms are done in a day and some require multiple days. I am not at Swedish Death Cleaning level quite yet but each year I let more and more go. If I could go back I would have never accumulated as much stuff, that’s for sure. I know my son does not want much, if any, of my stuff and honestly even I don’t want a lot of it anymore either. Each year gets easier because I have been doing this for many years and I am not buying lots of stuff anymore. I have always liked quality over quantity so I don’t have a lot of “crap” but still have things to let go of. Love you and your channel. I am fairly new ( I found you through Adam Hattan on the Mediterranean Cruise you guys did). I love your positivity and kindness. 💜
Oh my goodness! I read a couple of his books and they really helped. I had completely forgotten about them. I'm glad I found your channel!
I'm 71 and after cleaning up after others passed .. I do not want to do this to anyone ... I've started to declutter , slowly but no have started ... separating emotionally can be difficult , somehow these thing became part of who I was but am no more
Been feeling the same way of trying to declutter anything that doesn’t have a purpose and paring down just purchasing items because I like it and questioning myself do I really need this or how often will I use this! This Christmas I told my adult kids I will buy one thing you really want/need and then purchased everyday items they use or need for their places. I don’t want my house to become like my parents with too much accumulated. It stresses me out thinking about how will I ever get through all their things left behind. One drawer/cabinet at a time!
I just found out some of my inherited jewelry that was thought to be valuable by myself and previous owners wasn’t worth much. Just storing stuff no one will want.
Hi Jen! Hahaha! I read Don Aslet’s book too! I don’t know if it was in that book of his or another book of his, but he wrote extensively about setting up your house to clean itself. Many good ideas about that!
Loved that book! Funny and interesting. Nancy hunkered down in a very cold Charleston South Carolina
The book you are talking about is called “Make your house do the housework”. It’s been so helpful.
Hi! I just discovered and subscribed to your channel. Totally relate to your intro: reading home keeping books from the library as a youth including being an early Martha Stewart fan. Glad to have found your channel. 😊 I am close to retirement and ready to get back to organizing and would like to travel again!
I'm so happy you're here! Thank you so much for subscribing!
I too have made the decision to make this year my year for Swedish Death Cleaning. I have discovered that it is becoming very easy to shop intentionally. Many things you have said speak to me. My husband is actually decluttering more than I thought possible. He has many more things that still bring him joy…lol
Thank you so much for sharing! I have been constantly decluttering over the years and it's so freeing:) I love buying clothes second hand and for Christmas we give our children "only" some money so they can invest it in whatever they want.
I feel like this hit me last year at the end of summer where i was just so tired of the "stuff" and i did a pretty deep declutter but im back at it again !😅 And the Christmas gift giving it was very eye opening for me especially now in my current situation....my kids have EVERYTHING and going forward its going to be very simple and i would much rather take them away for a weekend. AND pretty much cut out the Disney parks merch/shopping.
Swedish Death cleaning is what I’ve been thinking about but didn’t know it had a name! When my mother in law passed there was so much for the family to go through. Five children so many hands made quick work, but it was a lot. This is not what I want for my kids. It’s best for us too so we are not drowning in our stuff. I am fairly new to your channel. I really loved the videos with yourself and Adam Hattan so I subscribed to your channel. I’ve found more than travel on your channel❤️You can tell you are living your best life and I am here for it.
I love Dan!!! He was my first cleaning inspiration
Me, too. I still have one of his books.
Watching this in my bed with bags full of my parents stuff around me , and a garage full of stuff I don’t need or want but i could not let go yet- after donating several dozens boxes and filling two 13 ft dumpsters :(- how . I wish my mom and dad read that book - it was an emotional rollercoaster for sure - and it’s not over.what’s for sure is that I’ll do differently for my kids
I am so sorry. Thank you for your comment though. I think a lot of people will be impacted by your words.
Okay I was a weird clutter averse kid too. In high school my friends would invite me over to deep clean their rooms and literally let me boss them around all day in the name of cleaning and decluttering. As an adult I realized I could have been making some good money off my friends back in the day, 😂
It's true . . . maybe send them a bill now? For services rendered. LOL
Im trying to shift my mindset to declutter. It's difficult. I like my stuff. I worked hard for my stuff, but now I've got too much stuff. BUT!!! Because of your videos, I DID go through all the Christmas boxes last week, and before i stored things back in them, anything i had not put out (obviously not meaningful or was broken or just not my style anymore) got put in bags to be donated. I went through the wrapping supplies and recycled a ton of paper, bags and ribbons that weren't useful. I really put thought into how things went back into storage. So, baby steps. I'll feel good next Christmas and try some more purging next year. In the meantime, I'm tackling small spaces and eventually, I'll get to my office and the garage. 🤪🤯 But thank you for always inspiring and gently nudging me toward a less cluttered house and mind. ☺️
Anna this is EXACTLY the way. In times past I would feel like a failure because I couldn’t do it all but this mentality can slowly but surely transform our relationship to our things! Thank you for sharing that it’s very encouraging.🥰
I did a lot of decluttering during shutdowns. It felt great! I do like buying stockings and lots of gifts for my adult children and their spouses. I was spoiled at Christmas and I want to spoil. I should talk to them about an experience instead of gifts. They might be more open to it than I think!
Grandma tried to gift me some of her beloved items. I said, no grandma, you keep it. I ended up with it after she died anyway. Now I know why she wanted to give it to me. I’m grandma’s age now. Time to let her things live on at someone else’s home.
I started watching your travel packing videos, but also love decluttering videos. Both on one site!
It might sound like a silly idea, but how about giving your newlywed children or even if they just move out on their own , a very practical gift is a bag of rags. Which young person has a rag for cleaning that oil spil in the garage or for dirty jobs in the house?
I love experience gifts like movie tickets, broadways show or local theatre or out to dinner or coffee gift cards. Six years ago I had to clean my sister's home when she died.She was an organized hoarder and it was a nightmare for me. Last year I had two heart attacks;one from long Covid and the second from getting Covid again.I also had a mini stroke from long covid. My home is pretty decluttered, but this made me want to get rid of even more things and be extremely minimal. If I have wind up dying from all of these health issues, I don't want my son and my husband to have to go through my things while they also deal with grief.
Jen, you're speaking my language. I've been highly organized since childhood. Mom always said she never had to get after me to clean up anything. When my death occurs, all of my household items, EVERYTHING, will be donated to a local, extremely high end thrift store that my friends own. My will states this. My only child, an adult, will come in, choose whatever he wants first. The rest? Bye-bye!
Love this Donna. A very kind and compassionate estate plan!
@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge Thanks, Jen. Even better, is my son won't have to clean, or dispose of anything. These friends will do it all.
Your suggestions here really resonate with me. It’s interesting that what you described about how you shopped for Christmas gifts in prior years, is almost identical to what my approach was. And, likewise I changed my gift giving this year similar to what you did! Moving forward I’m going to continue this journey - it just feels right. Thanks for sharing
So well said! I completely agree with everything you’ve shared in this thoughtful video. Well done Jen!
Those are wonderful revelations and changes as a result of your decluttering journey!
Hi Jen, greetings from Ohio! I'm so happy to have discovered your channel. My husband and I are getting ready to move and your video came at the perfect time. We've moved many times and are ready to seriously pare down. Christmas has become much more meaningful with less stuff.
Love this concept. Went back and watched your other videos on the topic. I have been on the swedish death cleaning journey for a bit over a year since my eldest moved out. It is very satisfying and an ongoing process ….. thanks for the encouragement.
Yay for you ! You wont regret this new mindset.
Thank you for sharing this! I love the objective review you're giving here. (Also your hair looks great!)
So I did the S.D.C. the month before my sister-in-law was arriving from Sweden. I had only two days left to finish, (all just paper products, paperwork etc which I'd sorted and had on all the tabletops to finish) the next day. It ended up with instead, almost being the Canadian Death Cleaning for ME! I went to bed and during the night had a stroke, falling out onto the floor. I was alone, couldn't get up, and most importantly couldn't reach my cell phone. I laid there for 12 hours. Finally I prayed to die, but thought of my mother, and immediately prayed to NOT die, but to live and be saved. I then got some SUPER energy and was able to get to my phone. Getting to hospital 13 hours after a stroke certainly isn't ideal. I wasn't expected to live, but thanks to prayer, I'm here today, and am very well Thank God. This experience nearly killed me. So my advise is, take it slowly, and don't do more than you think you can handle.
So glad you're OK!
Thanks Jen. My husband just told me today that his sister is coming from Sweden to stay with us again!(I had the stroke 2 yrs ago now) I DO love her, but my heart just kinda skipped a bit when he told me! No more super duper clearing up to be done though. He can clean her room though, I ain't chancing it. LOL!
I enjoyed this Jen! Thank you for sharing all those points. ❤
Jen, I really enjoy following along on your journeys because I’m finding that you are addressing all the things that I am also addressing in my life. So many of your life experiences mirror my own. Keep doing what you’re doing!
What a kind comment, Heather! Thank you! As I evolve and grow, my content will, too, and I'm so glad you're here on the journey with me!
Great job, foster the momentum and keep up the progress!
love this! This Christmas we did very little gift giving/receiving and it was glorious, so much less stress. I've started watching less and less "haul videos" & if I do I try watch I try to think of what I already own that is similar.
Yes I’ve been doing a lot of shopping in my own closet - so many things that I love and sometimes forget I own!
We went on vacation in Florida for Christmas with only one daughters family and parents in law (other 3kids not there) . Dramatically less stressful. Didn’t decorate or shop much .
Love this! You are so inspiring! Thank you💙
This was so helpful 🎉
I'm definitely in the stage of life where I am starting to think about stuff and how much of it I have. I keep a neat (but not minimalist) house, and my friends think I am pretty organized/clean. However I do have more than I want to have. I have the easiest time getting rid of clothing. Did a huge closet cleanup last year, and I try to get rid of a piece (or more) whenever I bring a new piece in. I also help my college-aged son go through/get rid of worn out/outgrown clothing. Last year, he and I did a huge toy clean out, but even so, we kept more than we should. My biggest area of struggle is with memorabilia: kids' art, certificates, records, trophies/ribbons, greeting cards, special toys and knickknacks, etc. I feel like this is the kind of stuff that facilitates access to special memories. Sure, one could take pictures, but it's not the same experience as touching, reading, looking at the actual items. I am of two minds about this category of stuff: part of me says we should scale back and part of me is an archivist at heart. I see people on Facebook who pull up their old high school and childhood objects and take great joy at having them, sharing them, showing them to their own children. I suppose there is a happy medium--some kind of balance between minimalism and archiving and cataloging, but I haven't found it yet.
I just found you tonight and laugh at the topic, as I have been doing this for the last 6-8 years saying just that, "I am purging so our only child doesn't have to deal with all the crap we have". OMG, it feels so good, I am 63, my daughter 23, my husband 74, so things could change quickly now with this family as we are older parents. Funny how an area can be purged, but find a year later, more can be purged as well. I just wish my husband shared my enthusiasm, he has my old horse barn, his shop, the "boys club" outbuilding and garage FILLED with stuff and I keep telling him it would be unfair to leave all this for our daughter to deal with. So, seeing this video tonight has gotten me to try once again to get him to start it as well, because if he doesn't, I will and he won't be happy that I am dumping his stuff. Thank you!
Just do your own stuff. Stay out of his space.
His stuff is causing him more COPD illness, it is junk, we are talking empty oil bottles, dead squirrels in empty boxes filled with feces of rodents. Basement office also filled with dead rodents in his file cabinets with feces/urine. Old checks from 1976, paper files from long deceased customers. It is a health hazard, daughter was always sick when here, at college and now her own place she isn’t having issues, when she visits she gets feeling crappy again. This isn’t healthy “stuff” to have around inside home or in other outbuildings.
Not a ton of clutter, but 3 years from retirement and consolidation of homes/downsizing, I know the items that I will be passing on, selling and donating - it is hard because I wish I could do it all NOW .
I love gifting experiences - the memories are priceless. Bonus if I get to tag along (gifted my honey a stay at the Polynesian for his birthday last year - I got to go tool! Maybe it's selfish...I call it self-love)
Love this! I'm still in the little kids phase but working on paring down some of the useless things in the attic & basement.
Future Liz will appreciate your efforts!!
This is so inspiring!
I bought a decluttering book in my late 20’s (yep, that is def slightly weird) It was called How to Conquer Clutter. (Found it just now online, 1989!) The amazing thing was every few years I cleaned a small space, & that darn book would just turn up! It was witchery. Followed me through many moves. Haven’t seen it lately though, and that’s clearly been a problem 😉
Have got a large bag of Xmas giveaways from packing up this year. And yes, I thought I cleaned it all out last year! It’s sort of never ending… I do actually enjoy the holiday smallering though. Next year should be even better.
Motivation. Thank you
I haven't done the Swedish Death Cleaning thing technically but I noticed after my Mama died I found myself just not buying things and slowly getting rid of things. I have done the if I buy something I get rid of something for years, even before that. I'm a shoe and purse addict so I made myself always get rid of a pair of shoes or a purse any time I bought one. I also started buying only the "real" things around that time. I'll admit, I own some clothes I've had for over 20 years, I only wear them around the house but I can't make myself get rid of them because they are just perfect for days like today when it's cold and I'm being lazy so that old Amelia Island long sleeve sweatshirt type shirt is just comfortable. We told family years ago not to get us gifts and hubby and I stopped exchanging gifts for any occasion years ago. We are lucky enough to be that couple that if we wanted or needed something we just got it ourselves so gifts were things we just didn't want or need. Do I still have way too much stuff in my house? Yep. This is partially a joke but I'm determined my son should have to go through it all so I linger a bit. Again, partially a joke and partially what I do still have around makes me happy. Do I need the dolls from different countries my Mama started for me when I was 3 and have been added to over the years? No. Are some of them worth a lot of money? Yes. Am I getting rid of them? No.
I think the best part of this process is it is and SHOULD be unique to every individual. No set rules or rigid guidelines just what feels right for YOU. Thank you for this comment - all so true and I think others will find it encouraging!
I just love this way of living and I actually think it will make for even more interesting content. Not just interesting but even more authentic, calm and relaxing. I have following a few subscribers in the past and their vlogs became all about have, have, have which I think as content has a very short life and just isn’t the type of content I want to spend time watching often. I love all of your content - it makes me feel calm and happy ❤️❤️❤️❤️xxx
Ps you have totally inspired me to attempt this way of loving - thank you ❤️
Sorry meant to say, this Christmas my husband bought me a couple of things I genuinely needed and an afternoon tea experience which we enjoyed with our daughter yesterday. I value experience over things so much these day. If you are ever in the UK and are visiting Oxford, make sure you enjoy afternoon tea at The Randolf Hotel - just so delicious and a beautiful hotel xxx
I love that you were gifted a lovely afternoon with people you care about! And thank you for the kind words. I’ve always felt the channel can only survive if it grows WITH me so I’m grateful that the content is also resonating with you!!
@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge as someone who is about the turn 50 your content has always resonated with me and I am really grateful for it so thank you 🥰 I love the sense of community about your channel and your genuine honest content so thank you again xxxxx
Love this. 😘❤️
Ooohhh love the idea of when you bring something new in, you take at least one if not more of something out! That’s a great idea and one that I’m going to start implementing. Fortunately for me, I don’t like shopping so I won’t have to do it too often! 😂😂 I love this! Brilliant video, Jen! 👏 👏
Thank you Friend!!!! Yeah the way the stuff just creeps is a lot
Jen, you are exemplary at what you do. There is an undeniable professionalism (and yet relatability) to your presentation and a wealth to your knowledge/experience. I wonder if you have ever considered moving up and out of TH-cam to something like your own home show on HGTV or other like channels. You’d be such a hit! And such a help to many more viewers. Give it some serious consideration. I’d be thrilled for you ❤.
This is truly such a kind and appreciate comment. We will see and I never say never! Thank you for being so encouraging.🥰🥰🥰
I don’t know that going to a network would bring her more viewers. I, for 1, would be lost to her material. HGTV is, like the other networks, much more concerned with ad revenue and pushing certain narratives, and unconcerned with actually helping viewers. So many come to TH-cam for real content versus narrative content. Just my $.02. 🤷♀️
@@mysonsmom9754 sad truth.
We used Giftster this year and it was great because everyone got what they wanted and shopping was easy.
☠️🤣 this is the first I’ve heard of this concept, it’s pretty great! Awesome CK dress find, score!
I loved Clutter’s last stand.
I am just now subbing and … I have no idea what’s going on. I’ll have to watch your other channel to find out but I’m super intrigued
Yes, our family has changed to mostly food gifts! This had ended the holiday clutter and waste, the stress of how to deal with gifts you did not really like but are concerned about the giver noticing if you get rid of it, and the stress of finding a gift for someone who already has everything. Food is fun and temporary and no one knows what you do with it. Food can be adventurous or gourmet or an old favorite.
Food is fun and temporary and no one knows what you do with it! Genius!
Declutter by any name is good.
Well… this was rather inspirational. Cleaning, tidying at 2 AM(!!!).
Glad to hear it! And listen, the inspiration strikes when it DOES so I am all for the 2am tidying!
New subscriber! Thanks for the info.
It’s my pleasure and WELCOME!
Great video! I am at the same stage.
You are a woman after my own heart. My adult boys haven't outgrown their legos either and probably never will.
I am moving and the need to purge is tugging at me. I am reading Swedish Death Cleaning and it makes a lot of sense. One thing I want to suggest is you rethink giving it all to Good Will… there are better places. Their CEO has enough money and there are needier places.
OMG! I heard Don Aslett speak at a conference in the early 1980s! Didn’t agree with him very much but he certainly was entertaining and different.
Don Aslett sells his brand of cleaning products on QCC. Excellent items!
I heard about this many years ago and thought it was a good idea,and adjusted some things, although I don’t have alot of stuff. Recently I heard that for people who love their things, they don’t have to get rid of things they loved because our families might not like having to deal with their stuff. We are all individuals and need to decide what is good for ourselves with thinking ahead to the possibility of what will be left behind and to be considerate. Yes, the holidays are way too stressful, not in my personal lifestyle, but other’s lifestyles. The whole family did change some things the last two years but getting together with everyone’s schedules being insane is stressful. It seems like a vicious cycle no matter how hard you try to change it. And the expense is the most stressful being on a fixed budget. How to disappoint grandchildren. I’m still wanting to find a way to balance. I budget and do all that and it still doesn’t seem to feel peaceful. Thank you for the reminder on this subject.❤️
I am really at the point in my life that I am ready to get rid of the clutter as it’s starting to get to me mentally. My husband however is a hoarder (due to what I believe is ADHD). I have been trying for a few years now to help him see how much the clutter affects him too. Also trying to help him see that we don’t always need to purchase things like useless trinkets everywhere we go or buy something every time we walk into a store.
It is exhausting but I am also trying to have grace.
I can relate to this more than you know. All you can do is hang in there and do your best to at least keep the clutter from growing? It's a daily challenge here as well so I don't have any great answers. Other than to say they are totally worth it!
Grace
Minimalist doesn’t mean no having. We all love simple, beautiful home with what makes it simple 😮
Thanks for watching!
I didn't know what Swedish Death Cleaning was until today. I think it's a very considerate idea. For me, soon 60, have been struggling on and off the verge of hospice for a few years now, when I first realized I could die I felt such an overwhelming urge to purge, not wanting my adult son to be burdened with the confusion, guilt or task of deciding what to do with my things a-mid his mourning. I've always never felt repulsed by death until I saw foul smelling liquid seeping from the wall marker covers of the dead in a mosaleum in the cemetery. This caused me to research the process of death to better understand and accept my pending passing. The more I learned the more I didn't want to leave any of myself behind. It's difficult for me to appreciate Swedish Death Cleaning because without ever hearing about it, I had gone through it in a deeply painful way. At times I'm close to death and that feeling to purge everything is like the complete opposite of when a pregnant woman goes through nest making to prepare for bringing new life into the world. And this too is how I feel when death loses grip on me and I'm so excited to be alive and able for however long to enjoy anything that makes me smile and enthusiastic again (not unhealthy pleasures). I read a medical paper/study on dopamine and self denial that explained,; when a person doesn't experience joy enough to trigger dopamine for often/long enough, for example through self denial or trauma, mental illness, the joy receptor can atrophy, leaving the person unable to feel joy or excitement anymore, or effectively enough. This made a lot of sense to me because after feeling in limbo expecting to die, health worsening for so long but death delaying, when my condition temporarily improved, it felt impossible to feel joy even when I wanted to so desperately. It took a long while, I thought I'd never feel it again. Then when I finally did, death and care management discussing the possible need for hospice again brings back that dreadful feeling of being a burden, each time worse because I'm weaker and have no one to help me and my executive functioning and independent spirit are not as functional as I need them to be to get to the task of any of it. Today, I had to stand by while my son did some things I couldn't do anymore. I already own so little, it all fits in my bedroom, a minimal wardrobe, only my hobby things, some small things I've made, a very few books, a few hand tools in a small room. On one hand I need my life erased so he won't have the burden, but on the other hand I'm in and out of health crisis and need things to feel encouraged and excited about (livelyhood - not the same as materialism), like my sewing machines, my light hand tools... things that give me a hand with what little independence I have left when not in health crisis. Even though some things I can no longer use, haven't been able to use or have the pleasure of using since my health started to seriously decline as well as little things that just trigger happy feelings... I still need them for those reasons... to stir up some dopamine... some drive or will that aver rides the gloom of acceptance. I need what I need and what makes me feel like I'm still alive and living “until I put this one off and put the other on“. I try to keep busy with my faith and serving others by writing letters of encouragement. I try to be balanced because if I feel dread and not joy, I'm a burden to my son before I've ever died. If I'm still alive, then I will focus on that tremendous appreciation until I'm not here anymore to do so. I think I've purged enough. It's only one small room of very little, just enough cushion to be comfortable a little while longer.
I'm sure your son loves you very much. I hope you find some peace and thank you for sharing this with me.
@@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge Thank you 🩷
Where do you like to shop for new clothes Jen? I like the simplicity of one store that I can go to. It used to be Macy’s, but they are struggling and no longer have much inventory for a 60 year old fit, active woman
Check out Vineyard Vibes and Marine Layer. Both great brands with a wide range of really good clothes with good quality and I’m loving both right now.
Kudos to you, for turning down the free stuff. It’s hard I’m sure, but a great eco friendly thing to do. 👍
A bunch of people suggested I just take it and then sell it or give it away but honestly that's just one more step and I didn't feel right about it. THANK YOU!
Our immediate family consists of 6 adults (Mum, dad, 2 daughters, 2 SIL). We use an app to choose 1 person for us to buy for and we spend $100 on that one person. That leaves 2 grandsons to buy nice, fun gifts for. It has taken the stress out of Christmas in that regard. I still buy a small gift for my 4 sisters and a few close friends.
Forget buying for adults & those small gift purchases. They can buy their own junk.
I'd like to go through and do a big declutter of our house. I'm disabled and can't do it myself and my husband loves all of his "collections". I love the idea of having experiences instead of stuff, but he's not into leaving the house for anything other than work.
Such a challenging situation!!! I wish you the best of luck and maybe show him the video?? Take care!