@@yourhomeisyourbusiness2221 I still consider myself a newlywed! And I try not to compare my marriages, as it is 2 different men...so I guess I would have to say different! #WIDFAM
No we don’t want to stay in grief but everyone goes thru different stages at different times , I’m a recent widow 3 months now, and I am still trying to work through things and trying to figure out what to do do . I did get up and go back to work to try to get myself back to gather I am a work in progress putting one foot in front of the other . My daughter is trying to struggle through also she is an adult but was a very big daddy’s girl they were very close and it’s been hard on her too and she has been here for me but I don’t want to hinder her in moveing on with her life , she is a very soft hearted empath type person so it’s been hard for her , any help in that will be helpful, thank you for your talks
I need some advice on how to deal with people telling me since i'm still in my 20's i'll meet someone else so i shouldn't be sad. It makes me feel like they think anyone i meet in my future would be a replacement for my husband. I don't think my husband can ever be replaced. If God blesses me with someone else i see it as an addition not a replacement. What do you think?
Is there such thing as or Grief to yourself? I of course haven’t died yet. But I’m been sick for a really long time. I have 4 kids I’ve been getting sicker in the last few months to where I feel like I’m not doing well. I Have a care giver that has to come in to take care of me note Becouse I’ve gone down hill even faster. I’m only 48 almost 49. The doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with me but everything has gotten 100 worse. I’m even crying allot in pain I really try not to show my kids. They are likely they are 23,22,20 and my youngest is 17. My kids I feel have gotten to where they just don’t want to see me suffer anymore. Like you showed in the video about the grieving process that you grieved even though he was still here. So my question is the person that’s sick do they grieve to. Because I feel like I’m grieving too off me and for the pain my kids are going though to see me suffer I feel horrible that my kids have to watch me slowly wither away. I try so hard to not see I’m suffering as bad as I am. But they see darn well moms not able to eat and she’s hurting more ave not as happy as I used to be. I can’t fake it like before. How can I help my kids in this issue? Mom of 4 amazing kids.
My husband died about 71/2 years ago from cancer. Complicated background and social life has left me living alone very isolated. The last time I went to my little post office the young guy that runs it greeted me by name in a very alarmed way and said he was about to call me bc I had a pkg that hadn’t been picked up for a couple of days and he was worried. It shocked me and I thought I would burst into tears bc someone I barely knew actually thought about me and was concerned for me. Later I thought well, that’s sad to be so hard up for someone to care. But I know he probably saw it in my eyes. It wouldn’t be so hard but my husband was very caring and kind to me and I really miss that. Our 39th anniversary would have been May 8 and I’ve made dinner reservations for myself at the place we honeymooned. I need to remember my husband this year and to remember when someone loved me completely.
My mother's birthday is May 8th! I'm so sorry that you feel like you are alone and needing someone to show they care. If you haven't already joined our FB group, just search One Happy Widow and come on over, there are tons of caring folks there! #widfam
My husband passed Jan 5/23. Our Anniversary (31st) would have been May 8/23. I have been thinking ahead on how I will spend the day - no firm plans yet, but I do want it to be a special day.
Being a widow means you have had a collection of unique experiences around losing your life partner. You have kindly decided to help people by sharing them. Being remarried is a different experience that does not mean the "widow" stuff did not happen or is no longer valid. You are still a widow....thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. They have helped me. I lost my husband 4 years ago and I can really identify many of the feelings uou have shared. No one really understands what it is like to lose your spouse except someone else with the same loss.
Thanks for your support, and I agree...no one could truly understand being widowed OR finding love again, until you've actually been through it. It's so tough to explain, because so much of it defies logic!
I lost my husband 4 years ago due to a sudden heart attack. Today is our wedding anniversary. It's one of those hard days. I'm just trying to figure what to do with it.
When you find love it just happens. I met my husband in June 1996 and married him in October 1996. Yes just 4 months after meeting him. We were married for 21 years before cancer took him in February 2018. Now I am a widow that is learning how to deal with the grief. I call myself a work in progress and feel like it will always be that way because some days I am fine and other days I am not. I agree that we all deal with grief differently and if what you do makes you happy then that is all that matters.
Even though your remarried your always widowed. The things that in life that are so tragic cannot be shoved under the carpet because youve been re married. Remember this wasnt a wanted separation or divorce this is the loss of the love of your life your best friend your childrens father.
I am a remarried widow. My new husband is divorced (against his wishes). He totally understands that I am still a widow and that the experience shaped who I am today.
I am a very different person than I was before my husband died. The name for that happens to be widow. "Widow" encompasses every change I've experienced as a result of my husband's death. I could remarry a dozen times and I would still be a widow. That's just part of who I am now. I don't go around talking about it, but it's always there. I would love to remarry someday, but if that doesn't happen, I'm okay with that too. Thank you for this channel. It's so important. Online grief groups were helpful in the beginning, but I'm not in that place anymore. It's been three years for me. At the same time, I appreciate a connection with other widowed people who understand what I'm going through at this stage. People who understand me when I say, "I called the plumber without crying."
You are just SO dam honest! I love it! You are so refreshing! I don’t judge you for remarrying, and if I got lucky, and found another man who is compatible with me, you bet I would remarry! I immediately hit the subscribe button! You ARE helping!
What a nice thing to say! I appreciate your feedback, and I just try to keep it real because I think we all need a little more of that in our lives, right? #WIDFAM
I'm only 4 minutes in to the video and you have hit the nail on the head regarding other groups. I am only 5 months (yesterday) in and was looking for support and would come out of these groups feeling worse than I did before. I was trying to find anything positive and rarely found it and as we said on your fb page how refreshing it is to have this positivity. Well, I'm miserable and crying a lot this weekend but I know it will pass and I'll be better again and you guys just lift me up and help me get there!!!❤
Yes! When I desperately needed to know I was going to be ok, all I found was women completely a mess 9, 13, 18 years later! I was determined I wasn’t going to be like that! I stopped with those groups. Now here I am, 6 years later, thriving!
You guys are my people!!! Now, it's our mission to bring others into the fold, instead of watching them struggle in their misery. The problem is that many don't even think they WANT to feel better, and I am not sure if it's a mental thing or what, but I am determined to figure out ways to break through nd reach some folks who are stuck. I know we can't "save them all" but life is for the living!
@@susanharris1694 yes, that was the thing, it was like telling us 'there is no hope!' You'll be forever in this distressed distraught state. Nope, I need to know it will get better! 🥰❤ thanks to being here I can see there IS hope x
@@OneHappyWidow most definitely and my husband (of only 7½ weeks before he took his life...we think!) Would never want me to be unhappy and would be devastated to know he had caused this much distress. I think on the whole I am doing really well, then I think I'm not grieving enough then it comes again in tsunamis- but it will happen and it will pass and I will try and be as positive as I can. Thank you and just look how popular you have become - people want to be uplifted and know there is hope and it's up to us to do that for ourselves ❤
I had to turn off the notifications for those groups about 2 months in because some people were 4 years out and still grieving hard, zero judgement but hard for me to see so fresh in my grief. I needed to know there was light at the end of the tunnel and if I am still stuck here 4 years from now then I might as well end it! I am also someone who can’t wallow in my pain, especially because I have kids and don’t have that luxury! Thanks for everything you are doing 💕
I'm with you...being miserable is miserable! I can't imagine how anyone would want that! But sometimes it almost seems like people who are stuck don't act like they want to be brought out of it. Like you said, I'm not judging...just having a hard time understanding it. But I have been depressed before, and sometimes when you are that depressed, you don't even care if you even get better...so I suppose it's similar to that, but on a really long term basis. My heart goes out to people who are still struggling THAT much after double digits of years have passed. Not everyone will move forward into a new relationship, but I truly hate to see the death of one person turn out to be essentially the death of two...I would like to find some words, strategies, or ideas to help people in that situation, but finding them in groups on FB, it's impossible to change the direction of an entire river! #WIDFAM
Great site lots of helpful information I too am a widower my wife passed away 20 months ago but I was in the category of pre-death she had CHF and all I can say it’s just as bad as anything else. But what I have to say is that I always believed in prayer but I never realized how answered it could be. Not to make this real long my wife knew in April 2019 that she was going to die shortly she lived another four months but she recognized the fact that she finally got it we’re all here just temporarily. I just discovered that statement reading through her Facebook posts that I had not read because like I wasn’t in the group. During about that same time I prayed with all my heart that God would relieve her of her pain and suffering and not let her suffer. He answered on August 19, 2019 when she had full cardiac arrest When she got up from the chair so we could get dressed and go to the hospital I caught her in my arms and she was gone. So my point is I was grieving her death before she died and to be honest I mourn her loss of the physical body and celebrated her soul that she had received relief! It’s a double edge sword.
I also experienced anticipatory grief, so I understand how that goes. You are relieved they are no longer in pain, but guilty because you feel relieved and also missing them and wanting them back. Feel free to apply to join the FB group. #widfam
Three things. 1-stats show that people who had a happy marriage want to remarry more than people who didn’t’ which means in a way it is an honor to a previous happy marriage. 2-my husband and I met and married in three months, yes, three months, we were married 46 when he died. 3-yes, you are a widow, you will always be a widow, that experience will never leave you. I have found so much peace watching your videos.
I agree. I read a column when I was very young that said the happier a marriage, the more likely a person was to remarry. It stuck with me and I've always believed that.
Not always true for older widows. My husband passed away in July, 2022, we had been married for 61 wonderful years. He was the love of my life, the sweetest man on the planet, my best friend, my everything. I can’t imagine wanting to marry again, so it is different for us older women. A lifetime together….so grateful for every day we were together. I will see him again. ❤
It doesn’t bother me that you are remarried because you have the widowed experience and can offer significant insight. I have been widowed for two years now and find comfort in some of the things you’ve shared. So for me I definitely am still grieving and find it extremely difficult at times and one day I may have past experience to share. I appreciate your videos. Thank you.
I so agree. (9 months out, here.) I think a widow who found love again is FAR more capable of giving advice to widows than someone who has never been widowed. When I see books or video for widows by people who are professional counselors, but have never known widowhood, it frankly pisses me off. I don't care what kind of letters they have after their name, until it happens to you, you will never truly understand.
And yes, you're a widow. All your life with your first husband and the trauma of losing him are a part of who you are now. My take is snippy people might be widows who are jealous.
When you know, you just know. So true! I still feel married after almost 4 years and don’t see myself ever dating, but I am content with my choices. Key words here are My and Choices. Your attitude towards bashers is admirably polite. We don’t have to fit into each other’s shoes to be on this path. Thanks for Q&A
I agree, Charlene. It will be 4 years for me in December. I'm 67 and I don't plan on dating but I told the Lord that if he wants that for me then he will have to bring the man to my doorstep - lol! So far that has not happened!
This is a good place to explore. My husband died 2 weeks ago. My dysfunctionalfamily is estranged from me. We just moved so I don't know anyone. My toxic sister screamed at me that she couldn't take the "gloom and doom" and told me to "pray". One Happy Widow is so right about the "before" and "after" aspect. I can't even look at dates that are before my beloved died.
From someone who's had a lifetime of thyroid issues, I'm glad to hear that yours is being looked after & cared for! Mine was a non-functioning that resulted in two bouts of thyroid cancer, the second was in 1982. Although I've been cancer-free ever since that surgery where they did a total thyroidectomy, I do see my endocrinologist regularly & keep up labs and scans to make sure everything continues to be all good. I wish you all the best & prayers, please keep us updated :)
I'm here for my daughter. I haven't lost my spouse so I don't know how to help her. She is 40 and her husband is 41 and he died recently, 4 weeks ago and has 3 daughters. I said one of the stupid things! I don't want to do that again. He died suddently of Covid. He was in the Navy for 20 years and only got out 2 years ago. They were preparing to start the next chapter of their life. They had bought a 5th wheel to travel. She is so deep in sad she has lost a lot of weight, is having trouble eating, remembering to drink. I am lost. I need you guys. I am sorry for your loss, I really am. It breaks my heart when I her your stories. I am a retired Registered Nurse that became disabled just after I retired. I have seen many deaths, many widows nd widowers and cried with them, visted with them in hospice and prayed with them. I am a Geriartic Nurse. Thank you for you help, bless you all.
Think of what you might tell some of the people you helped at your job. It is difficult to imagine being in our shoes…I do think our FB group might help you, and your daughter! #widfam
I have found that a fellow widow's books and retreats have helped me immensely. Kristine Carlson's husband died suddenly and she "gets" us! I came across her book "From Heartbreak to Wholeness" a few months after I lost my husband and just would listen to it over and over through Audible. I have also gone on two retreats that have helped me face my FEAR. I cannot recommend her enough...
Just found you. All I want to say is, You go girl! I'm a widow for 9 days now. I suffered with anticipatory grief for so many years I'm numb. He had many close calls, we got to where we would joke that he had more lifes than the 9 of cats. Thank you for this channel. I am a happy person that's had a lot of sorrow and grief.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I do believe the initial grief is very different, depending on how sudden the persons death was. Over time, it becomes more similar in the phases, but when you begin to grieve before your person is even gone, the initial wave after death can be less severe. Mainly because it has been spread out over a longer time.
Wow I meant my second husband , seven mths after I lost my late husband, and like you said we just new we were meant to be together. It felt right ,we were married 11 months after we meant. We now Been together 18 years. Do I think of myself as a widow , yes I do ,his the father of my children . I remember our wedding anniversary, I remember the day he pass , his birthday. He now Been gone for Twenty years 10/ 03/2001. And I been blessed with this wonderful partner to share our lives together. Thank you so much for your wonderful channel.
Thank you for creating this channel, Leo. I lost my husband to cancer in August 2018. He was my best friend. I want you to know that I appreciate you sharing your experiences. Your videos give me hope that I can learn to move forward. Also, this community helps me to not feel so alone in this grief.
Then I am doing what I set out to do...help one widowed person at a time. to feel not-so-alone, and to have hope that their live can get better in some way, shape, or form. Thanks for your feedback! #WIDFAM
I am a widow of two years and happened upon your channel. It’s always nice to hear how others are coping. Of course my faith has helped me greatly and I went through the GriefShare Program and now am a facilitator in that program. Reaching out to help others is a help. Thank you for your heart for those with broken and grieving hearts.
Hello! I just became a subscriber to your channel. I opened up my TH-cam to watch videos and the video about your late husband popped up. I'm sorry for your loss and I'm glad I crossed paths with your channel. Your really inspiring and so positive and loving. Hope all is well and that you continue to make more content.
You have really helped me. Six months ago I lost my husband. I found you after getting fed up and feeling like other groups were depressing me and offering no guidelines or help. So glad I found you!😍
Definition of a widow/widower is one who has lost their spouse to death. You have done exactly that and what is done cannot be undone. It is a hard earned privilege that no one wants. Yet for those ushered into that status they have no option but to learn how to arrest the tide of their old life and redirect their newfound situation to the best of their ability. How they elect to do that is unique to them. My prayer for anyone who has lost their spouse is that they will be able to find a measure of comfort and healing in their lives, whatever that looks like. You have earned the rite to call yourself a widow, remarried or not, 4 minutes, 4 days, 4 months 4 years or 4 decades into that journey.
That's nice to say...I just showed you the sections I wanted you to see, as for the rest of the house? Ummmm, not so neat and organized lol. Thanks for watching! #widfam
Once a widow always a widow, getting remarried doesn’t change your loss, hurt, grief process. I’m a two time widow, absolutely nothing to be proud of. I will always miss both of them immensely. There is absolutely no time frame for those who wish to remarry. It’s okay, ...it’s what ever gets you through it. I love your fabric back drop, I’m an artist and a hoarder of craft supplies 😂 aka a crafter. My husband was my cheerleader and my biggest fan. I miss that.
I fear being a 2-time widow too someday, but I have to put that in the back of my mind so it doesn't have me living in fear all the time, but it is hard not to think about it, especially because my husband is 7 years older than me. And I totally get the hoarding...ahem CRAFTING obsession lol. Its just as fun to collect the supplies as it is to create with them! And it's sad when you have some fabric that is so pretty and lovely that you don't even want to cut into it...so it just sits on your shelf so you can pet it whenever you want. It's a bit crazy, to be honest. And both of my husbands were supporters of my crafting...it kept me home and happy, so it was a win for them! #WIDFAM
@@OneHappyWidow thank you for your kind words. We never know what our future brings, all I know is I did the best I could with both of them. I pray you both live long healthy lives with much happiness ♥️
You have an awesome spirit. Who doesn't love fabric 😁. I watched your video because my mom lost 2 husbands. Its a subject not many people talk about. It helps to understand what other people are going through. 🌻🌻 ignore the trolls
So glad to have found your channel ! I remember taking to a friend who is a widow who remarried ,and she said the Same thing. Even tho you remarry, you're still a widow, now your'e a remarried widow. I didn't write understand her then, but I do now. My husband has been gone a little over a year and I can still barely say the word widow, and I'm not sure why. Glad i found you.
Sonnie, I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope the videos can help. Feel free to join our FB group of the same name, we have tons of supportive people in there too! #widfam
I am not a widow, but I have lost my husband to dementia. He was diagnosed 8 years ago, and has lived in a Memory Care facility (wonderful care) for the last three years. I love him dearly, but I mourn the loss of my best friend, father of our children, and all around great companion. I believe they call this kind of loss ambiguous grief. The person is still here, but at the same time he is not. I have learned to live with this to an extent but it is always there. The year of Covid has made it difficult to see him. I am sad when I see him and sad when I don't. You might want to address the situation of ambiguous grief. Everyone grieves in her own way. I certainly wouldn't judge you or anyone else for what they do. I know people who remarry and those who didn't. You don't get over a loss, it just becomes more bearable over time. Anyone who helps others is an angel in my eyes.
Even though I'm not a widow, just a grieving daughter trying to learn the best how to support my widowed mom I really appreciate this channel. I think even if my mom gets remarried she'll still consider herself a widow. They were married 42 years, you don't just gloss over that. It means something, it means a lot, yknow? ... Also my dad's cancer process was a similar length (5 Months). How does such a short time frame cut so very deep in the large picture of life?
Yes, Leo is the right spelling! It's the name my close friends and family call me, not my legal name...but I wanted to use it to feel a better connection with the subscribers and viewers. I even have a tattoo that says Leo loves JP on my arm for my hubby. Funny thing is, the only person who NEVER called me that was my late husband lol (he always called me Mama, I guess it's a Southern thing!) And when I think of a 4-5 month period of time being all it took to cut a big, healthy man down...it's scary and sad, and the time passed in the blink of an eye! You are so awesome t be involved with this channel for your mom...she's lucky to have you!
Hello! I was enticed by the “happy” in your channel name. Happy and widow do seem oxymoronic, so I was curious. Mostly I read about how your husband learned of his cancer, tried treatment, didn’t tolerate treatment, did his best making happy memories for the kids, and too quickly succumbed. While none of this explains the happy, the widow part is very clear. You tell your story beautifully. The good parts, the bad parts, the mistakes, and all the rest. I might be wrong, but I wonder if the support you have from your new spouse isn’t what gives you the strength and the “happy” to share your experiences, so others can feel understood and less alone. Thank you for doing this, clearly it is much needed and much appreciated. In my experience grief is never gone, but like an onion, you must go through layer after layer, as circumstances allow. Of course there are other life experiences mixed in! These respites are vital and allow people to breathe again, eat, sleep, to go work, care for kids, buy groceries, do laundry, rebuild a life. Until the next wave of grief, and the cycle continues. (I have lost my parents, never a spouse, so this may be too simplistic, if so, my apologies.) Your current situation in no way invalidates your experiences loosing the life partner you expected to spend your earthly forever with!
You pretty much have it figured out...and the reason for my channel name! My new husband is a wonderful support for me, and I do the same for him as he is also widowed. This month is tough for me, dealing with anniversary, death date, and Father's Day. I'm making it through one day at a time. #widfam
My husband has cancer and is terminal. I am pre-grieving. I don't want to "give up on him" but I don't want to hide from the inevitable. I would like you to speak on your experience with that. He is beating the odds the doctor gave us but each advance takes a bit more from him. Thanks for being delightfully honest and open.
Felcia, I am so sorry you are going through such a complicated time...you are truly in limbo-land right now, and I know how hard that is to navigate with so many emotions. I definitely want to address this topic in at least one video, perhaps even a series of them, since I went through it myself. I'm not expert, but I do know of some things that I wish someone had told me during that time that I can share. Thanks for watching, and you and your husband are in our prayers tonight! #WIDFAM
Thank you, one of your videos popped up last night . Im a widow since 2014 ( twice in one year) jan for my x husband - the father of my 4 children and some one who i considered my very good friend - then in Nov to my husband . He also had cancer so i started grieving April 1st 2014 . needless to say that was a HORRIBLE year. i have watched 2 of your videos and already feel less lonely . so thank you very much . It helps hearing that im not the only one having these feelings.
Vickie, I am truly sorry that you had to go through this complicated mix of grief with both a husband and a former husband! I was married for a few years to the man who is the bio father of my oldest daughter, and he developed cancer at age 41. Then Dewey (father of the other 3) also developed cancer at age 41. The first husband didn't die from it, but it did mess with my head that both of my husbands had developed cancer at the same age...and sadly, the first marriage was not a good one and I did not have a good relationship with him, even after we divorced, so I was angry that they both got cancer, but the "good" one died and the "bad" one survived. I know this simplifies their descriptions, but that is what my mind kept asking...why did it happen that way? And then, of course the guilt for wishing the other husband had died instead...it was just a mind-freak no matter how you spell it. Now, of course I don't actually wish that anyone had died, but the fact that you dealt with both losses, and in the same year...I know that was rough.Thank you for sharing! #WIDFAM
My sister in law married quickly after my brother in law died. She got the same comment like you did. Shes very happy now. Today would have been our 38th wedding anniversary. A good video to explore is what a surviving spouce can do on their wedding anniversary. I still consider that day as an important day. I just dont want to just spend it in tears. It's been 4 years sense his death.
Interesting request…and I would have to get some input from out widfam on that, as I don’t have any great ideas for celebrating anniversaries. Thanks for the suggestion!
You just appeared on my TH-cam on my TV. I have never even done a search on the topic. My husband died in January and I believe I have done fairly well in continuing to live, even though I still have all the feelings at times. I find you to be so real and open. You know you don't have all the answers, but you are happy to share the answers that you do have. I will be continuing to watch and have recommended the channel to a couple of people. Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much! It is amazing how many people keep telling me that the videos are popping up without even being searched for, and they are finding comfort or help from them. I am truly humbled by this, and I appreciate the nice feedback. #WIDFAM
I just found your channel and love what you have to say. I work at a cancer center and am working towards hospice volunteering and death doula and just grief support in general. I don't understand how people don't think you are no longer a widow. I am the ex wife of a military veteran who died when suffering a mental health crisis was shot by our police department. He had remarried briefly and divorced, I was remarried as well but the grief was insane. He is the father of my children, we were together for 22 years. Grief is a crazy emotion and everyone's journey is different. Keep putting out the great info!
I just found your videos, they are excellent. Wish you were around when i was widowed at 34 years old, 17 years of marriage, had a 13 year old child. Your videos are spot on with the grieving process. I was fortunate enough to find love again & remarried 6 years later to a wonderful man. We've been married for 23 years. I do still think about my late husband as I am his "widow". I see myself as a wife & widow. One part of my life does not go away because I remarried. You are helping lots of younger widows navigate the difficult time ahead.
I think you will always be a widow even if you are remarried. Found your channel a month ago. I enjoy listening to you. Today is the 4 yr Anniversary of my husband's death. I have learned to live without him but I miss him so much. We were married 49yrs. I Thank God for my children and Grandchildren they keep me busy.
I am also at 4 years. It has been quite a journey for me too. But I have found a contentment that I never thought I would have again. I thank God everyday for my kids and grandkids who brought me back to life again.
Thank you, it's nice to be reassured by my fellow #WIDFAM. At least it's not just me being stubborn! My husband is getting ready for the 2 year anniversary on April 17...this month has been rough for him!
I love the way you stay so positive, it's because of this positivity that you can be yourself.. I really feel sorry for the ppl who can't ( won't ) move forward in life, it's the partners who passed not you and your life still goes on so learn to start living it again with a happy heart ❤ and happy memories xx
I love your channel! My husband died a year ago after being sick with cancer for 3 years. People judge me for moving on but I want happiness for my teen daughter and I. I want to laugh again and be human. People don’t understand that when my husband was hit with that diagnosis I was already grieving. Our lives were never the same. You can sit in darkness or continue to live. I’ll see my hubby again but not here. So I have other work to do and I want my daughter to see me happy again. She’s been through so much. I met someone quickly and my daughter adores him and it feels right. I don’t care what others think, they stare and comment. But they don’t know the darkness I was in for years. People are afraid of death. But I’m not, especially after watching my husband slip away. I know I have more work to do and one day I’ll see him again. But in the meantime, I’ll keep trying to find happiness and help others to find there’s. Great channel great message love you thank you!!!
I love your outlook, and this is me pretty much...although even doing this, I felt guilty early on, as if I wasn't grieving "enough." Then I started learning about anticipatory grief an realized that I began my journey at diagnosis, not at the time of his death. Thanks for sharing, it helps to hear the stories from others that are similar to our own, so we know we are not alone in this! #widfam Also, check out the "12 Things I learned..." video on this channel, I bet you recognize many of them!
My husband passed away in August 2020 at the age of 67. I was his caretaker for 6 years and hadn't been able to do much of what I wanted to. I didn't mind because "for better or worse". I've been judged for getting on with my life - playing pickleball, traveling now that we can, getting together with friends. I know this is what he'd want me to do.
I saw my Dad lose himself when he lost my mom, she was the love of his life, he had no idea how to keep going. He did the best he could. I did lose my ex husband. I went to check on him because he was very sick due to not taking care of his juvinal diabetes. I was remarried at the time and when I got to his place I found his passed away. It's been something that was so different to process. I truly have lost too many people in my life, I just try to focus on the good memories and appreciate the signs they send me to let me know they are still with me💔
Losing an ex-partner is a complicated grief for sure! We have many who have commented on the channel, and in our FB group who have lost ex-spouses. It is difficult for them in other ways besides just the “regular” type of grief, especially when it comes to how other people treat them. #widfam
I just feel so much for you. It is so important to remember the good times. Cherish all the good stuff. Ignore the jerks online and be however you need to be❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
There are trolls who comment about “lumps”in necks. Prepper Princess had one on a live chat. Your neck looks ok to me. Your content is much needed. Thank You!
Really, so that is an actual thing??? OMG people honestly have too much (clap clap) time on their hands... no wonder it keeps coming up. Thanks for clarifying, I honestly thought I was losing my damn mind lol.
@@OneHappyWidow maybe....on a positive note. There was a nurse who spotted a lump on the throat of a HGTV star and her spotting it and he got it checked and it was cancer. It saved his life
Watching your videos are very helpful. I’m not a widow but spent last 2+ expecting to become one. However he is improving now. Now I’m confused, mourning what could have been, guilt, etc etc. Yay for fabric. Patchwork, dressmaking and knitting have kept me sane 🤣 Thanks for what you do even though I don’t fit the demographic
I'm sorry you are in this limbo...but glad your hubby is on the mend for now! If the videos helped you watched, and we don't worry about demographics! #WIDFAM
Sometimes you just get stuck. I’m 60. Boyfriend died hours before my 18th birthday. We were a very committed couple making firm plans. “You know when you know.” Loved what you said about your current husband and his birthday. Never been okay with celebrating my birthday. Nothing dramatic, just not in the right head space after anniversary. Love what you have said about sudden and terminal illness. 18 months after boyfriend suddenly died, my father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Very similar to your story from older child’s point of view. So lost both by the time I was 20. Told if I believed in the teachings in the Bible, move on. I do have a strong faith and had a lot of time to fill. So married and raised a family. Grand babies are coming. So many blessings to be thankful for. But when the marry-go-round of raising children had slowed down, kind-a all came back. Boyfriend is buried 17 hours away. Never have made it back since I was 18. I promised myself (and him) that I would come back. Is it wrong to want so desperately to fill that promise. My family does not fully understand. Husband says it’s fine. I have no one to make the trip with. I have no idea if it is closure or just opening up deep wounds. I think it’s just honoring my promise and saying you are so very important to me and always will be. Am I disrespecting my children by wanting to go? Is it wrong so many years later? Thoughts?
I think you should make that trip! You made the promise, and you need that closure. In addition, I think after so much time, it starts to feel surreal, almost like it was a dream or a distant memory and a visit to the grave will validate your grief. I’m glad your husband is supportive!
Loving the channel my name is heather from Dundee Scotland ……. Your living your life and you can still grieve and the haters or nasties seriously need to get a life ,,,,,,! I lost my sister in December 20 and your video helped me realise we don’t always understand grieving but it’s nice to watch your videos and not to feel alone xxxx and yes you are a widow …….. so stuff the haters….x oh and it comes up my husbands name as it’s his account …xx
Well, I have to say that I’m glad I found your videos! Thank you for your great work, please keep it up. Don’t worry about what others say!!!!! God bless!
Thank you for your support! And I think you can go back and click the 3 dots next to your comments and edit them if you ever have a typo, just for future reference. This one is no big deal, but I posted on a widows FB group once on my phone and it autocorrected some word to "bitch" so it looked like I was calling the person one who I was replying too...thank God for the edit button on there!!! #WIDFAM
Many good points! Thank you for your video, as always. It was interesting to hear the origin story of your TH-cam channel and, as a fellow crafter, to learn where all that fabric came from.
Love your Channel LEO & WidFam....what more can I say except I wish I wasn't a part of it by classification, but since I am, it is truly "the best" channel for me @ this time in my life & I am grateful you are available to my life. Thank you for that~
I was also curious about the fabric wall behind you as being a quilter I have a large fabric stash. I didn't ask about it as I thought it was off topic - but anyhow I am glad you explained it. Your positive attitude is very helpful to many and so disregard to haters.
I think you are amazing. Also since the pandemic and isolation, people jump on the internet to rant about anything, something mostly nothing!! You inspire happiness. Thank you for what you are doing. Thanks for the tour of the beautiful fabric. GOD Bless you!!!
I just came across your wonderful video. Your experience will help many people who suffered this loss of a loved one . Your a happy widow for sure . You deserved to have happiness in your life and I'm glad you found love again with someone who understands grief. Keep making these videos 🧡💚💛 your honesty is very impowering.
I'm not sure how I came across your channel, but I'm glad I did. Last night I watched your two part post about your husband's passing. I could relate to so much of it. My husband passed away in August 2020. He was 67. His health problems began in 2014 when he had to go on dialysis because of renal failure. He had many other issues over the years, which I won't go into now. He had been in and out of the hospital many times over the years. This last one was kind of sudden, however, as he went to the ER on a Friday and was gone on Sunday. I think he knew, though, because as they were wheeling him to the OR he said to me "I think this is the one that does me in." I had never heard the term anticipatory grief, but that is what I experienced. I knew he wasn't going to live a long time - it was just a matter of when. I miss him every day, but I've adjusted relatively quickly because I was grieving his passing even before he died. I appreciate what you're doing to help widows know that it's okay to be happy. It doesn't mean you didn't love your husband.
I hope never to be a widow. I'm 79, married, and I could be one day. I find your channel helpful in the event that I loose my wonderful spouse of 58 years. I don't think anything could prepare you for it but maybe I could remember what others experience and somehow remember it, and it be helpful to me.. It also helps me in dealing with friends who have lost their spouse. Keep up the good work. It wouldn't have mattered to me if you hadn't been married to your first husband.
Thanks for watching and sharing your viewpoint! I know tis information can also help non-widowed people support their widowed friends and family, so I try to address those issues too! #widfam
Thank you for explaining about the goiter. I know it is your business and it probably felt intrusive for people to ask but I am sure that they were just concerned for you. I was too. Glad you have it under control.
Well, I found it humorous that SO many people noticed and commented, especially since my family never even noticed it at all lol. I'm glad people care enough to make sure I'm taking care of it before it turned into something worse! #WIDFAM
You are AWESOME!!!! Thank you I am newly widowed searching for some one who has been through what I am now and I think I found the perfect person! Thank you so much!!!
I love this video😍 sometimes i feel really weird about somethings that i intend to do but when i watch your videos i feel at peace with how i'm living my life. I've been widowed for 4months and i decided that i'm going to have a happy life regardless because i know my husband would want me to be happy. People would always judge and thats their problem not mine. Its my life and im gonna live it.
Thank you for sharing your grief process with us. you are helping me to be okay with my own feelings I'm going through, I just loss my husband in January, I can really identify some of the feelings you have shared. No one really understands what it is like to lose your spouse except someone else with the same loss.
Thank you so much for your channel. I found you just a few weeks after my love died. We were never married but together 24 years. Although the term widow was very obscure to me in the beginning I have started to identify with it. I have lost my life long love and no other word does describe it. Thank you for coming at this topic with some up beat-ness and humour. Although in the beginning other widow groups I was apart of were quite sad and I was right there I knew I needed to pick myself up and needed to find away to be happier, although I still feel I’ll always be a slight bit sadder version of my old self. But that said I am only three months out. That could change. And perhaps I hope it will and can in the future. Cheers. 😉❤️
Melissa, these are very realistic expectations of grief and of yourself. At 3 months out, the fact that you are even seeing a light at the end of the tunnel is amazing and healthy for you! I would say that we are never the same, and you are right, we will always be a slightly sadder version of ourselves, but that doesn't mean we have to waste away pining and crying for the rest of it. We can accept that our lives will be different, and will have moments that give us pause and cause us to cry, but there are s many moments of life in between where we can find joy, feel happy, and enjoy laughter again too! #WIDFAM
I became a widow 30years ago to cancer. Then I met a great man and we got married but I still think about him on his birthday Christmas and what would have been our wedding anniversary and my husband under stands there is always a light over the rainbow 🌈
I believe we can grieve and love at the same time. You'll never forget your love for your late husband...I wonder how strange it will be to me when I am old and remember my young husband lol. When Im 80 (if I make it there), I'll be thinking of my 42 year old husband, who will forever be 42! #widfam
I’m sorry for your husband’s loss. Friends in Grief Spousal Group helped me. We were told to get up, make your bed, shower, eat and get outside. Be kind to yourself. You are in a good spot here. Reach out. 🤗🙏🏼
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and perspectives. In my opinion, once widowed always widowed...even if remarried because you the widowed experience continues. Thank you for uou care and concern.💜💜💜
Thank you so much for this video Leo. You have been a blessing💗. It's been 18 months since my husband passed on, so much pain, so much pain. I am moving forward though, I really have to, really need to. I still cry, grieve, miss my best friend my love so very much. I have more joy and have been laughing a lot more and so thankful for it. Your videos are very very helpful. I tried a couple groups and usually felt worse when I left. One group that has helped me is called grief share support group. Most churches offer it. I am so happy for you and your husband God's many blessings to you! 🦋🕊️🌹
Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback! I have heard many good reviews about Grief Share and I have tried it myself as well. I did a few videos about it, and I do think it is a great resource. Fell free to join our FB group for more support as well: www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow
I’m not sure how I ended up on your channel. I am not a widow. My husband is still living, but he has some health issues. I’m always preparing myself in the back of my head. Maybe that’s why I find your channel very fascinating. You are a blessing to many. I’m wondering if I’m in the anticipatory phase, although his lung illness has not advanced. This is a very interesting phenomenon that you address. Thanks!
I don't know why people choose to be so mean about something so simple and something so touchy yes you're still a widow I technically am not my boyfriend died before we could get married but I will still continue to watch this channel and I thank you for having it and sharing your experiences
Well I’m happy you found love again. That your happy and that you could move forward. It’s not easy especially when you’ve lost your partner. God bless and May you both grow old and happily ever together.
Thank you for all of your honest answers & your replies to all... Thank you for the thyroid answer. I remain a divorced widow. My adult children are still grieving 10 years later. Your support has been very helpful. Kudoes to your courage for remarriage & then explaining it, over & over as new subscribers come on board to your growing & supportive channel. Thank you for taking your time for us & yourself! Yes, I find I am still grieving for the marriage that didn't last... and now I find I am still grieving for my adult children whose father is dead & not able to participate in their lives & his grandchildren's lives....as they wanted.
Thank you for sharing! I have to assume that new viewers don't know the story, so I want to make sure they know when I say "my husband" that it doesn't take them by surprise lol #WIDFAM
I am still a Grandma; even though my first grandson was murdered the day he was born. My daughter is still a Mom. And I still get something for him EVERY HOLIDAY. This year I will be celebrating his life on his 4th birthday by building a fort for him. I have created a small area for children to play in my yard. Everyone knows it is okay to use, visit, play, and touch anything out there. It is a space for all that I have done for him (these projects would have done with him) because I am, AND ALWAYS WILL BE his Grandma. I was there since the he was conceived (not in the room silly) and continued to be involved everyday of his life; through each day of the pregnancy, delivery, trauma, aftermath, grief, and beginning cycle of recovery. That is how I found this channel. I lost 7 close family members (yes, I have a big family) in 15 months beginning in August 2012 (peak of my dream career and in my prime), 3 more family members passed and 5 teen suicides (my children's close long-term friends--the youngest was 15 years old) in the year 2014, then my ex- mother-in-law and sister-in-law passed in 2015 (separate tragic events for extended family members I still cared for and maintained close relationships with), my youngest child's Dad was diagnosed with HIV and then quickly he had AIDS which required brain surgery; and in 2016 my long-time partner and I went to visit his Mom in the hospital because she had a common procedure done--she passed away while we were there visiting (I am happy I was there for him and his family because they all seemed afraid or scared to touch her or be near her whrn it happened and I said, " no one wants to die alone or with people just staring at them while they go thru this last event if their life ever--they want held and loved and to be precious as the day they were born". I fixed her hair, took pictures of her with her sons, held her hand, introduced a safe place for all to love her every last second of her life). At this time, I was still grieving over the death of my Dad from early 2013. I was stuck. My strange experience of multiple deaths is not worse than any other human's experience. Many people in the world lose all their family and friends in a day (you can fill in the blanks off the many ways these people pass tragically, traumatically, in natural disasters, naturally, by illness, circumstance, terrorists, wars, gangs, bombings, terrorists, etc.). Its just not spoke about or shared. Many think of only other countries besides US that this happens. I am not special, least special, most grieving, or have a desire to be comparative. There is just no such way or purpose of comparing the sadness and pain we humans feel when losing a person. It all hurts the same but losing my Dad was the worst...I thought. Then, Sept. 2017, I saw the worst thing in my life, felt the worst pain I have had to endure, and I was depleted. This time, I felt many types of grief--for my daughter, my self, my other children, my family, my Grandson's family, extended family, etc. All I could do was be there for my children. Before my Dad had passed, I had broke through a ceiling set by statistics and felt pure accomplishmwnt, but with gratitude and humility. I was in a good place and never expected what was to come. Yet, the broken pieces of glass from ceiling laid on the floor beneath me. When I fell to my knees in grief, my knees were cut. When I tried to stand back up, my feet got cut. As I felt like I had suffered the worst by then, I'd fall back to my knees to only hurt and bleed more. Then, with what seemed to be neverending, I used all my might to stand on my cut feet and tried to bear the weight-- with my sliced knees. Then, I got shoved down and sliced my hands...as I lay there bleeding, in pain, losing my self, I thought about everything and all that I had went through in those 5 years. I figured I should be well versed and stronger by now. I knew in that moment I was unable to help myself. So, I focused on helping others and hid my pain. I researched, went to grief counseling, went to counseling, support groups, and did all I could without success for myself BUT I was able to help my family. That is when I realized I was going to be okay. That second, I knew that a wound had healed and then more healed. Soon, I was able to get up onto my knees, then I could stand. Later down the road, I picked up the fricking broken glass pieces (from false glass ceiling) from the floor to prevent further pain and injury. What I realized was: even though I wasnt able to see that I had found a coping mechanism while in the midst of grieving, while I only felt pain and loss, and could barely understand how I was able to continue. I was unaware that I was just in the process of grieving and dealing with grief. I was always prepared before....but no one told me that my survival kit was lacking a "Preparedness Plan for Passing of Loved Ones". Now, I know more about my personal grief process and what it entails for me. Although, I will never be fully prepared for the loss of another; I have an idea of what it looks like, how long it takes me, and this will reassure me that I am on track to recovery. No matter how long it takes for me to grieve, I have to remember that I am just as sacred and keep doing what I have to do each day until I can see that I will be okay. People say it takes time to heal; I say it takes many breaths, feelings, a lot of love & support, and changes to heal (which is life used, not time taken). I need to share or it will eat me alive. My secrets will make me sick if I hold them inside me. I have to move forward and put what I have learned to use. These videos helped me because it took me so long to heal and I felt I was messed up because I believed I wasnt coping in a healthy way. You have helped me to see that coping is coping when it comes to grief; especially, if the end goal is perseverance to heal. 💚💚💚
What wonderful things you did for your long term partners mum, and those who loved her! These things are worth more than gold, and I believe you will be rewarded after this life for those things you did. I, too have seen a lot of deaths, lost a lot of loved ones. I think I come across as unfeeling, maybe even heartless, at times, but it's just, I've on some level become used to it. I was stoically handing out tissues to grown men at funerals by my mid twenties. It's good to share these secrets, they keep us alone otherwise. My dad's death was the one that hit me hardest too. While my cousin slipped away from cancer, I sat and held his hand and sang Sunday school songs I thought would bring him comfort, and read Bible passages over him. I was 18 at the time. I spoke at his funeral too. I'm still my cousin's cousin. I'm still my Daddie's daughter. I'm still the granddad's granddaughter. And I'm still a divorcee and a widow even though I am in a new relationship now. Xxx
Wow, what a read! So many deep thoughts for all of us to take in and think about. I also believe that one of the ways I cope with my grief is to help others with their own grief. We all cope in our own way, and you are right...as long as we are coping, we are ok (as long as it's not some unhealthy ways, of course). Thank you so much for sharing your incredible story and your secret pain with us. It sounds like you are on the path to being "ok" and prepared for whatever comes next. #WIDFAM
@@OneHappyWidow~Ahhh, I didn't expect a personal response from you, I am truly grateful. My heart is warmed. Should I delete it? I only ask because when I wrote it (I knew I am not the only one with such a situation) I thought my vulnerability would help another person. I can be overwhelming but I try to be clear and concise to convey a certain tone of growth.
@@thebestwillow Right now....I am sending a virtual hug. My eyes slightly watered because of the understanding from you. Entirely. Makes me wonder what took me so long to find this community?!?!? Maybe, it is divine timing for my growth and a sign I need press forward with perseverance and keep going in the direction I have been... (from Aug2012- Dec 2019 I lost my drive and interest in my passions). Today, I connected, it feels safe and comfortable and my heart is appreciative for you. 💚💚💚
@@mistystorythyme2452 I'm glad my reply made you feel those things. We all need to feel understood and for some of us, that's harder than for others. I'm in the harder to be understood group, mainly if not exclusively because of my experiences. As for timing, I only found this channel a week ago, and haven't ever really been in the widow community because I didn't really know it was a thing. At this point, I've been widowed for several years and am in a well established new relationship, seems like odd timing for me. And yes, I totally get the lost drive and passion stuff. I think society sees this as a bad thing, and in the context of this earthly life, I think it is, but. All these deaths I've dealt with over the years show me just how fleeting life on earth is, and I believe there is a much longer life after this, so I am more concerned with that. With the stuff you can take with you. Like the wonderful things you did for your. Partner's mom. All my life I have had difficulty establishing a hobby, and that's problematic occasionally when I need something to fill my time, but like...say I got into video games....what good is that at the end of this life? Ya know? *Shrugs* xxx
Thank you so much this Chanel is really helping me because some people just don't understand, you are such an inspiration it makes me realize not to feel guilt when I have happy days which are few it will be a year on 12 th August and I am 74 people want me to move out my house but not ready yet thank you from South Africa❤ I enjoy your videos!!!
Excellent channel. I can so relate to your video content. I lost my darling wife Mandy, to cancer of the womb, June 23rd, 2022. From finding a lump to her passing took 6 weeks. She was my beautiful wife and best friend and I miss her so much. Your videos help me cope and give me a focus. Thank you so much. x
You said it perfectly, I still have grief even though I am remarried. A question I had....I noticed that many of my deceased husband's friends and family only remember the good things about him. I have struggled with this because he had a temper and addiction issues. Part of my grief is coming to terms with who he really was and what our relationship was really like. I miss him but I don't idolize him. Have you ever heard of this happening with other people?
Yep no one wants to say bad things about someone who has passed away. However, death does not change how a person acted in life... just because they may be an angel in Heaven, does not mean they were an angel on Earth
None of us is/was perfect. My husband struggles with this too, because his late wife made some...questionable life choices, let's just leave it at that. It affected their marriage and he had a lot of anger when she first died. He relied many stories that contained bad/sad memories, but I realized it was not helping him grieve, it was only making him hold onto anger. And he also didn't want anyone else talking bad about her after she died, whether it was true or not. I encouraged him to pick out the happy memories and hold onto those...and just let the rest go. They are not alive to ask forgiveness or change their behaviors, so I figure why keep the bad memories alive? But this is just my own perspective. You have to heal your own way. My marriage wasn't perfect either, and I realize my late husband was not a saint, but overall he was a good man, but flawed. I try to remember the good parts about him. The other stuff is over anyway, so I'm letting those bad memories died with him.
Hi, Tracy- I know exactly what you mean. Part (if not all) of my grief in the death of my husband stems from not what I miss, but what could have been and never was. I was grieving before he passed.
I had one of those trolls! Thanks for dealing with him! I am so sorry for your hubby's death. So young and so tragic. Mine was slightly older but died of a preventable blood clot. I am only 7 months in.
Kellerin31 Today I’m 7 months in, also. We dated when we were teenagers in college. We had been married for 43 years. This week I came to the crushing realization that my husband is never going to call me and is never coming back. I am so lost and lonely without him. I have such crushing pain and panic attacks. Someday I might be able to smile and maybe even laugh. Hugs to all !
Good video. Good for you. I'm widowed, but due to this pandemic, we haven't even had a service as yet. Family is spread around the country. Hopefully this summer. Then maybe I'll cry. Still haven't had a good cry. I feel like it's not real yet. My husband died suddenly at work. So I'm half expecting a meltdown in July, he passed last March.
You are probably due for a good cry, and it could come when you least expect it and out of nowhere. When it does happen, just let it come and allow yourself to feel that pain, and process it out of your body. I know it's not fun to feel sad and to cry but if we hold it in, it doesn't go away, just lays in wait for a moment when we don't want it to happen. Thanks for sharing! #widfam
My husband also died while at work, it was a sudden heart attack. I watched an ambulance go flying past our house, they rarely drive that fast so I knew it was serious. We were married 34 1/2 years.
What other questions do you want me to answer in a future video?
Was being a newlywed for the second time easier, difficult, or just different?
@@yourhomeisyourbusiness2221 I still consider myself a newlywed! And I try not to compare my marriages, as it is 2 different men...so I guess I would have to say different! #WIDFAM
No we don’t want to stay in grief but everyone goes thru different stages at different times , I’m a recent widow 3 months now, and I am still trying to work through things and trying to figure out what to do do . I did get up and go back to work to try to get myself back to gather I am a work in progress putting one foot in front of the other . My daughter is trying to struggle through also she is an adult but was a very big daddy’s girl they were very close and it’s been hard on her too and she has been here for me but I don’t want to hinder her in moveing on with her life , she is a very soft hearted empath type person so it’s been hard for her , any help in that will be helpful, thank you for your talks
I need some advice on how to deal with people telling me since i'm still in my 20's i'll meet someone else so i shouldn't be sad. It makes me feel like they think anyone i meet in my future would be a replacement for my husband. I don't think my husband can ever be replaced. If God blesses me with someone else i see it as an addition not a replacement. What do you think?
Is there such thing as or Grief to yourself? I of course haven’t died yet. But I’m been sick for a really long time. I have 4 kids I’ve been getting sicker in the last few months to where I feel like I’m not doing well. I Have a care giver that has to come in to take care of me note Becouse I’ve gone down hill even faster. I’m only 48 almost 49. The doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with me but everything has gotten 100 worse. I’m even crying allot in pain I really try not to show my kids. They are likely they are 23,22,20 and my youngest is 17. My kids I feel have gotten to where they just don’t want to see me suffer anymore. Like you showed in the video about the grieving process that you grieved even though he was still here. So my question is the person that’s sick do they grieve to. Because I feel like I’m grieving too off me and for the pain my kids are going though to see me suffer I feel horrible that my kids have to watch me slowly wither away. I try so hard to not see I’m suffering as bad as I am. But they see darn well moms not able to eat and she’s hurting more ave not as happy as I used to be. I can’t fake it like before. How can I help my kids in this issue? Mom of 4 amazing kids.
My husband died about 71/2 years ago from cancer. Complicated background and social life has left me living alone very isolated. The last time I went to my little post office the young guy that runs it greeted me by name in a very alarmed way and said he was about to call me bc I had a pkg that hadn’t been picked up for a couple of days and he was worried. It shocked me and I thought I would burst into tears bc someone I barely knew actually thought about me and was concerned for me. Later I thought well, that’s sad to be so hard up for someone to care. But I know he probably saw it in my eyes. It wouldn’t be so hard but my husband was very caring and kind to me and I really miss that. Our 39th anniversary would have been May 8 and I’ve made dinner reservations for myself at the place we honeymooned. I need to remember my husband this year and to remember when someone loved me completely.
My mother's birthday is May 8th! I'm so sorry that you feel like you are alone and needing someone to show they care. If you haven't already joined our FB group, just search One Happy Widow and come on over, there are tons of caring folks there! #widfam
My husband passed Jan 5/23. Our Anniversary (31st) would have been May 8/23. I have been thinking ahead on how I will spend the day - no firm plans yet, but I do want it to be a special day.
@@JudyCurtis818 So sorry for your tragic loss. 💔
Being a widow means you have had a collection of unique experiences around losing your life partner. You have kindly decided to help people by sharing them. Being remarried is a different experience that does not mean the "widow" stuff did not happen or is no longer valid. You are still a widow....thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. They have helped me. I lost my husband 4 years ago and I can really identify many of the feelings uou have shared. No one really understands what it is like to lose your spouse except someone else with the same loss.
Thanks for your support, and I agree...no one could truly understand being widowed OR finding love again, until you've actually been through it. It's so tough to explain, because so much of it defies logic!
Well said. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💜
I lost my husband 4 years ago due to a sudden heart attack. Today is our wedding anniversary. It's one of those hard days. I'm just trying to figure what to do with it.
A really good book that deals with all types of grief is "I Wasn't Ready to Say Good-bye"
I will have to check it out! #widfam
When you find love it just happens. I met my husband in June 1996 and married him in October 1996. Yes just 4 months after meeting him. We were married for 21 years before cancer took him in February 2018. Now I am a widow that is learning how to deal with the grief. I call myself a work in progress and feel like it will always be that way because some days I am fine and other days I am not.
I agree that we all deal with grief differently and if what you do makes you happy then that is all that matters.
When you find that "someone" you just know, right? Thanks so much for your support! #WIDFAM
Even though your remarried your always widowed. The things that in life that are so tragic cannot be shoved under the carpet because youve been re married. Remember this wasnt a wanted separation or divorce this is the loss of the love of your life your best friend your childrens father.
I totally agree, and I'm glad you see my logic! #WIDFAM
I am a remarried widow. My new husband is divorced (against his wishes). He totally understands that I am still a widow and that the experience shaped who I am today.
Thank you
6 years ago when my husband died in a car accident, I'd have given anything to have found a site like this. There is no instruction manual for this.
This is so true! And no one wants to talk about it...so I feel like we have to grieve in secret! No more of that!!! #widfam
I am a very different person than I was before my husband died. The name for that happens to be widow. "Widow" encompasses every change I've experienced as a result of my husband's death. I could remarry a dozen times and I would still be a widow. That's just part of who I am now. I don't go around talking about it, but it's always there.
I would love to remarry someday, but if that doesn't happen, I'm okay with that too.
Thank you for this channel. It's so important. Online grief groups were helpful in the beginning, but I'm not in that place anymore. It's been three years for me. At the same time, I appreciate a connection with other widowed people who understand what I'm going through at this stage. People who understand me when I say, "I called the plumber without crying."
Thanks so much for your support! #WIDFAM
You are just SO dam honest! I love it! You are so refreshing! I don’t judge you for remarrying, and if I got lucky,
and found another man who is compatible with me, you bet I would remarry! I immediately hit the subscribe
button! You ARE helping!
What a nice thing to say! I appreciate your feedback, and I just try to keep it real because I think we all need a little more of that in our lives, right? #WIDFAM
I'm only 4 minutes in to the video and you have hit the nail on the head regarding other groups. I am only 5 months (yesterday) in and was looking for support and would come out of these groups feeling worse than I did before. I was trying to find anything positive and rarely found it and as we said on your fb page how refreshing it is to have this positivity. Well, I'm miserable and crying a lot this weekend but I know it will pass and I'll be better again and you guys just lift me up and help me get there!!!❤
Yes! When I desperately needed to know I was going to be ok, all I found was women completely a mess 9, 13, 18 years later! I was determined I wasn’t going to be like that! I stopped with those groups. Now here I am, 6 years later, thriving!
#WIDFAM!!! Here we are building each other up, I love it!
You guys are my people!!! Now, it's our mission to bring others into the fold, instead of watching them struggle in their misery. The problem is that many don't even think they WANT to feel better, and I am not sure if it's a mental thing or what, but I am determined to figure out ways to break through nd reach some folks who are stuck. I know we can't "save them all" but life is for the living!
@@susanharris1694 yes, that was the thing, it was like telling us 'there is no hope!' You'll be forever in this distressed distraught state. Nope, I need to know it will get better! 🥰❤ thanks to being here I can see there IS hope x
@@OneHappyWidow most definitely and my husband (of only 7½ weeks before he took his life...we think!) Would never want me to be unhappy and would be devastated to know he had caused this much distress. I think on the whole I am doing really well, then I think I'm not grieving enough then it comes again in tsunamis- but it will happen and it will pass and I will try and be as positive as I can. Thank you and just look how popular you have become - people want to be uplifted and know there is hope and it's up to us to do that for ourselves ❤
I had to turn off the notifications for those groups about 2 months in because some people were 4 years out and still grieving hard, zero judgement but hard for me to see so fresh in my grief. I needed to know there was light at the end of the tunnel and if I am still stuck here 4 years from now then I might as well end it! I am also someone who can’t wallow in my pain, especially because I have kids and don’t have that luxury! Thanks for everything you are doing 💕
I'm with you...being miserable is miserable! I can't imagine how anyone would want that! But sometimes it almost seems like people who are stuck don't act like they want to be brought out of it. Like you said, I'm not judging...just having a hard time understanding it. But I have been depressed before, and sometimes when you are that depressed, you don't even care if you even get better...so I suppose it's similar to that, but on a really long term basis. My heart goes out to people who are still struggling THAT much after double digits of years have passed. Not everyone will move forward into a new relationship, but I truly hate to see the death of one person turn out to be essentially the death of two...I would like to find some words, strategies, or ideas to help people in that situation, but finding them in groups on FB, it's impossible to change the direction of an entire river! #WIDFAM
Great site lots of helpful information I too am a widower my wife passed away 20 months ago but I was in the category of pre-death she had CHF and all I can say it’s just as bad as anything else. But what I have to say is that I always believed in prayer but I never realized how answered it could be. Not to make this real long my wife knew in April 2019 that she was going to die shortly she lived another four months but she recognized the fact that she finally got it we’re all here just temporarily. I just discovered that statement reading through her Facebook posts that I had not read because like I wasn’t in the group. During about that same time I prayed with all my heart that God would relieve her of her pain and suffering and not let her suffer. He answered on August 19, 2019 when she had full cardiac arrest When she got up from the chair so we could get dressed and go to the hospital I caught her in my arms and she was gone. So my point is I was grieving her death before she died and to be honest I mourn her loss of the physical body and celebrated her soul that she had received relief! It’s a double edge sword.
I also experienced anticipatory grief, so I understand how that goes. You are relieved they are no longer in pain, but guilty because you feel relieved and also missing them and wanting them back. Feel free to apply to join the FB group. #widfam
Three things. 1-stats show that people who had a happy marriage want to remarry more than people who didn’t’ which means in a way it is an honor to a previous happy marriage. 2-my husband and I met and married in three months, yes, three months, we were married 46 when he died. 3-yes, you are a widow, you will always be a widow, that experience will never leave you. I have found so much peace watching your videos.
Thanks you so much for your support, I love your 3 things! #WIDFAM
I agree. I read a column when I was very young that said the happier a marriage, the more likely a person was to remarry. It stuck with me and I've always believed that.
Thank you. This is an amazing way to perceive it. I agree and love the way you mentioned how "it is an honor...". Beautifully said.
Not always true for older widows. My husband passed away in July, 2022, we had been married for 61 wonderful years. He was the love of my life, the sweetest man on the planet, my best friend, my everything. I can’t imagine wanting to marry again, so it is different for us older women. A lifetime together….so grateful for every day we were together. I will see him again. ❤
It doesn’t bother me that you are remarried because you have the widowed experience and can offer significant insight. I have been widowed for two years now and find comfort in some of the things you’ve shared. So for me I definitely am still grieving and find it extremely difficult at times and one day I may have past experience to share. I appreciate your videos. Thank you.
I so agree. (9 months out, here.) I think a widow who found love again is FAR more capable of giving advice to widows than someone who has never been widowed. When I see books or video for widows by people who are professional counselors, but have never known widowhood, it frankly pisses me off. I don't care what kind of letters they have after their name, until it happens to you, you will never truly understand.
Thanks for your support!
And yes, you're a widow. All your life with your first husband and the trauma of losing him are a part of who you are now. My take is snippy people might be widows who are jealous.
When you know, you just know. So true!
I still feel married after almost 4 years and don’t see myself ever dating, but I am content with my choices. Key words here are My and Choices. Your attitude towards bashers is admirably polite. We don’t have to fit into each other’s shoes to be on this path. Thanks for Q&A
Very true words! Thanks for your support! #WIDFAM
I agree, Charlene. It will be 4 years for me in December. I'm 67 and I don't plan on dating but I told the Lord that if he wants that for me then he will have to bring the man to my doorstep - lol! So far that has not happened!
This is a good place to explore. My husband died 2 weeks ago. My dysfunctionalfamily is estranged from me. We just moved so I don't know anyone. My toxic sister screamed at me that she couldn't take the "gloom and doom" and told me to "pray". One Happy Widow is so right about the "before" and "after" aspect. I can't even look at dates that are before my beloved died.
Be kind to yourself, get rest if/when you can, and ignore your sister...until she walks in your shoes, she doesn't get to tell you how to grieve!
I lost my son 22 days ago & my husband stage 4 cancer . I saw this site & so far I find this simple & real
I'm so sorry for your loss! #widfam
From someone who's had a lifetime of thyroid issues, I'm glad to hear that yours is being looked after & cared for! Mine was a non-functioning that resulted in two bouts of thyroid cancer, the second was in 1982. Although I've been cancer-free ever since that surgery where they did a total thyroidectomy, I do see my endocrinologist regularly & keep up labs and scans to make sure everything continues to be all good. I wish you all the best & prayers, please keep us updated :)
Will do!
I'm here for my daughter. I haven't lost my spouse so I don't know how to help her. She is 40 and her husband is 41 and he died recently, 4 weeks ago and has 3 daughters. I said one of the stupid things! I don't want to do that again. He died suddently of Covid. He was in the Navy for 20 years and only got out 2 years ago. They were preparing to start the next chapter of their life. They had bought a 5th wheel to travel. She is so deep in sad she has lost a lot of weight, is having trouble eating, remembering to drink. I am lost. I need you guys. I am sorry for your loss, I really am. It breaks my heart when I her your stories. I am a retired Registered Nurse that became disabled just after I retired. I have seen many deaths, many widows nd widowers and cried with them, visted with them in hospice and prayed with them. I am a Geriartic Nurse. Thank you for you help, bless you all.
Think of what you might tell some of the people you helped at your job. It is difficult to imagine being in our shoes…I do think our FB group might help you, and your daughter! #widfam
I have found that a fellow widow's books and retreats have helped me immensely. Kristine Carlson's husband died suddenly and she "gets" us! I came across her book "From Heartbreak to Wholeness" a few months after I lost my husband and just would listen to it over and over through Audible. I have also gone on two retreats that have helped me face my FEAR. I cannot recommend her enough...
Thank you I will check these out!
Just found you. All I want to say is, You go girl! I'm a widow for 9 days now. I suffered with anticipatory grief for so many years I'm numb. He had many close calls, we got to where we would joke that he had more lifes than the 9 of cats. Thank you for this channel. I am a happy person that's had a lot of sorrow and grief.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I do believe the initial grief is very different, depending on how sudden the persons death was. Over time, it becomes more similar in the phases, but when you begin to grieve before your person is even gone, the initial wave after death can be less severe. Mainly because it has been spread out over a longer time.
Wow I meant my second husband , seven mths after I lost my late husband, and like you said we just new we were meant to be together.
It felt right ,we were married 11 months after we meant. We now
Been together 18 years. Do I think of myself as a widow , yes I do ,his the father of my children . I remember our wedding anniversary, I remember the day he pass , his birthday. He now Been gone for Twenty years 10/ 03/2001. And
I been blessed with this wonderful partner to share our lives together.
Thank you so much for your wonderful channel.
Thank you for sharing your perspective! #widfam
Thank you for creating this channel, Leo. I lost my husband to cancer in August 2018. He was my best friend. I want you to know that I appreciate you sharing your experiences. Your videos give me hope that I can learn to move forward. Also, this community helps me to not feel so alone in this grief.
Then I am doing what I set out to do...help one widowed person at a time. to feel not-so-alone, and to have hope that their live can get better in some way, shape, or form. Thanks for your feedback! #WIDFAM
I am a widow of two years and happened upon your channel. It’s always nice to hear how others are coping. Of course my faith has helped me greatly and I went through the GriefShare Program and now am a facilitator in that program. Reaching out to help others is a help. Thank you for your heart for those with broken and grieving hearts.
Thank you so much for sharing! #WIDFAM
Hello! I just became a subscriber to your channel. I opened up my TH-cam to watch videos and the video about your late husband popped up. I'm sorry for your loss and I'm glad I crossed paths with your channel. Your really inspiring and so positive and loving. Hope all is well and that you continue to make more content.
Thank you for subscribing! #widfam
You have really helped me. Six months ago I lost my husband.
I found you after getting fed up and feeling like other groups were depressing me and offering no guidelines or help.
So glad I found you!😍
We are so glad to have you! #WIDFAM
Definition of a widow/widower is one who has lost their spouse to death. You have done exactly that and what is done cannot be undone. It is a hard earned privilege that no one wants. Yet for those ushered into that status they have no option but to learn how to arrest the tide of their old life and redirect their newfound situation to the best of their ability. How they elect to do that is unique to them. My prayer for anyone who has lost their spouse is that they will be able to find a measure of comfort and healing in their lives, whatever that looks like. You have earned the rite to call yourself a widow, remarried or not, 4 minutes, 4 days, 4 months 4 years or 4 decades into that journey.
Thank you! #widfam
Your very neat and organized that’s great , it’s great you can be crafty , I am not but wish I was I have no crafty vision ,
That's nice to say...I just showed you the sections I wanted you to see, as for the rest of the house? Ummmm, not so neat and organized lol. Thanks for watching! #widfam
Once a widow always a widow, getting remarried doesn’t change your loss, hurt, grief process. I’m a two time widow, absolutely nothing to be proud of. I will always miss both of them immensely. There is absolutely no time frame for those who wish to remarry. It’s okay, ...it’s what ever gets you through it.
I love your fabric back drop, I’m an artist and a hoarder of craft supplies 😂 aka a crafter. My husband was my cheerleader and my biggest fan. I miss that.
I fear being a 2-time widow too someday, but I have to put that in the back of my mind so it doesn't have me living in fear all the time, but it is hard not to think about it, especially because my husband is 7 years older than me. And I totally get the hoarding...ahem CRAFTING obsession lol. Its just as fun to collect the supplies as it is to create with them! And it's sad when you have some fabric that is so pretty and lovely that you don't even want to cut into it...so it just sits on your shelf so you can pet it whenever you want. It's a bit crazy, to be honest. And both of my husbands were supporters of my crafting...it kept me home and happy, so it was a win for them! #WIDFAM
@@OneHappyWidow thank you for your kind words. We never know what our future brings, all I know is I did the best I could with both of them. I pray you both live long healthy lives with much happiness ♥️
You have an awesome spirit. Who doesn't love fabric 😁. I watched your video because my mom lost 2 husbands. Its a subject not many people talk about. It helps to understand what other people are going through. 🌻🌻 ignore the trolls
Thank you so much...and you're right...who doesn't love a good fabric stash, right??? Your mom is lucky to have you to support her. #WIDFAM!
I'm a quilter, love the fabric! My husband passed unexpectedly in June. I'm very lost without him after 20 years.
So glad to have found your channel ! I remember taking to a friend who is a widow who remarried ,and she said the Same thing. Even tho you remarry, you're still a widow, now your'e a remarried widow. I didn't write understand her then, but I do now. My husband has been gone a little over a year and I can still barely say the word widow, and I'm not sure why. Glad i found you.
Hugs to you, and thanks for sharing! #WIDFAM
I am so glad that I found your TH-cam channel. I have been in this nightmare for one month today.
Sonnie, I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope the videos can help. Feel free to join our FB group of the same name, we have tons of supportive people in there too! #widfam
I am not a widow, but I have lost my husband to dementia. He was diagnosed 8 years ago, and has lived in a Memory Care facility (wonderful care) for the last three years. I love him dearly, but I mourn the loss of my best friend, father of our children, and all around great companion. I believe they call this kind of loss ambiguous grief. The person is still here, but at the same time he is not. I have learned to live with this to an extent but it is always there. The year of Covid has made it difficult to see him. I am sad when I see him and sad when I don't. You might want to address the situation of ambiguous grief.
Everyone grieves in her own way. I certainly wouldn't judge you or anyone else for what they do. I know people who remarry and those who didn't. You don't get over a loss, it just becomes more bearable over time. Anyone who helps others is an angel in my eyes.
Definitely puts you in limbo with your grief. Prayers for you! #WIDFAM
Even though I'm not a widow, just a grieving daughter trying to learn the best how to support my widowed mom I really appreciate this channel. I think even if my mom gets remarried she'll still consider herself a widow. They were married 42 years, you don't just gloss over that. It means something, it means a lot, yknow? ... Also my dad's cancer process was a similar length (5 Months). How does such a short time frame cut so very deep in the large picture of life?
Yes, Leo is the right spelling! It's the name my close friends and family call me, not my legal name...but I wanted to use it to feel a better connection with the subscribers and viewers. I even have a tattoo that says Leo loves JP on my arm for my hubby. Funny thing is, the only person who NEVER called me that was my late husband lol (he always called me Mama, I guess it's a Southern thing!)
And when I think of a 4-5 month period of time being all it took to cut a big, healthy man down...it's scary and sad, and the time passed in the blink of an eye!
You are so awesome t be involved with this channel for your mom...she's lucky to have you!
Hello! I was enticed by the “happy” in your channel name. Happy and widow do seem oxymoronic, so I was curious. Mostly I read about how your husband learned of his cancer, tried treatment, didn’t tolerate treatment, did his best making happy memories for the kids, and too quickly succumbed.
While none of this explains the happy, the widow part is very clear. You tell your story beautifully. The good parts, the bad parts, the mistakes, and all the rest. I might be wrong, but I wonder if the support you have from your new spouse isn’t what gives you the strength and the “happy” to share your experiences, so others can feel understood and less alone. Thank you for doing this, clearly it is much needed and much appreciated.
In my experience grief is never gone, but like an onion, you must go through layer after layer, as circumstances allow. Of course there are other life experiences mixed in! These respites are vital and allow people to breathe again, eat, sleep, to go work, care for kids, buy groceries, do laundry, rebuild a life. Until the next wave of grief, and the cycle continues. (I have lost my parents, never a spouse, so this may be too simplistic, if so, my apologies.)
Your current situation in no way invalidates your experiences loosing the life partner you expected to spend your earthly forever with!
You pretty much have it figured out...and the reason for my channel name! My new husband is a wonderful support for me, and I do the same for him as he is also widowed. This month is tough for me, dealing with anniversary, death date, and Father's Day. I'm making it through one day at a time. #widfam
Probably the most real book for widows I've read so far is "Widowed" by Dr Joyce Brothers, written after she lost her own husband.
I'll add that to the list, thanks! #WIDFAM
My husband has cancer and is terminal. I am pre-grieving. I don't want to "give up on him" but I don't want to hide from the inevitable. I would like you to speak on your experience with that. He is beating the odds the doctor gave us but each advance takes a bit more from him. Thanks for being delightfully honest and open.
Felcia, I am so sorry you are going through such a complicated time...you are truly in limbo-land right now, and I know how hard that is to navigate with so many emotions. I definitely want to address this topic in at least one video, perhaps even a series of them, since I went through it myself. I'm not expert, but I do know of some things that I wish someone had told me during that time that I can share. Thanks for watching, and you and your husband are in our prayers tonight! #WIDFAM
Thank you, one of your videos popped up last night . Im a widow since 2014 ( twice in one year) jan for my x husband - the father of my 4 children and some one who i considered my very good friend - then in Nov to my husband . He also had cancer so i started grieving April 1st 2014 . needless to say that was a HORRIBLE year. i have watched 2 of your videos and already feel less lonely . so thank you very much . It helps hearing that im not the only one having these feelings.
Vickie, I am truly sorry that you had to go through this complicated mix of grief with both a husband and a former husband! I was married for a few years to the man who is the bio father of my oldest daughter, and he developed cancer at age 41. Then Dewey (father of the other 3) also developed cancer at age 41. The first husband didn't die from it, but it did mess with my head that both of my husbands had developed cancer at the same age...and sadly, the first marriage was not a good one and I did not have a good relationship with him, even after we divorced, so I was angry that they both got cancer, but the "good" one died and the "bad" one survived. I know this simplifies their descriptions, but that is what my mind kept asking...why did it happen that way? And then, of course the guilt for wishing the other husband had died instead...it was just a mind-freak no matter how you spell it. Now, of course I don't actually wish that anyone had died, but the fact that you dealt with both losses, and in the same year...I know that was rough.Thank you for sharing! #WIDFAM
I just found this, I am amazed at what you have said. I have been and going through the things you are talking about. Thank you so much
Thanks for watching! Feel free to join our FB group as well at facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow
#widfam
My sister in law married quickly after my brother in law died. She got the same comment like you did. Shes very happy now. Today would have been our 38th wedding anniversary. A good video to explore is what a surviving spouce can do on their wedding anniversary. I still consider that day as an important day. I just dont want to just spend it in tears. It's been 4 years sense his death.
Interesting request…and I would have to get some input from out widfam on that, as I don’t have any great ideas for celebrating anniversaries. Thanks for the suggestion!
THANK YOU! Only 2 1/2 mo Ineed and want the positivity not the pitty party, accepting loss and grief and how to move through. Yes get up get happy!
Love that attitude! #WIDFAM
You just appeared on my TH-cam on my TV. I have never even done a search on the topic.
My husband died in January and I believe I have done fairly well in continuing to live, even though I still have all the feelings at times.
I find you to be so real and open. You know you don't have all the answers, but you are happy to share the answers that you do have. I will be continuing to watch and have recommended the channel to a couple of people.
Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much! It is amazing how many people keep telling me that the videos are popping up without even being searched for, and they are finding comfort or help from them. I am truly humbled by this, and I appreciate the nice feedback. #WIDFAM
I just found your channel and love what you have to say. I work at a cancer center and am working towards hospice volunteering and death doula and just grief support in general. I don't understand how people don't think you are no longer a widow. I am the ex wife of a military veteran who died when suffering a mental health crisis was shot by our police department. He had remarried briefly and divorced, I was remarried as well but the grief was insane. He is the father of my children, we were together for 22 years. Grief is a crazy emotion and everyone's journey is different. Keep putting out the great info!
Thanks for watching, and sharing your feedback #widfam
Oh my gosh, I love all the mterial. I am a quilter and LOVE material.
I had a fabric shop years ago…and this is what I left when I closed up.
I just found your videos, they are excellent. Wish you were around when i was widowed at 34 years old, 17 years of marriage, had a 13 year old child. Your videos are spot on with the grieving process. I was fortunate enough to find love again & remarried 6 years later to a wonderful man. We've been married for 23 years. I do still think about my late husband as I am his "widow". I see myself as a wife & widow. One part of my life does not go away because I remarried. You are helping lots of younger widows navigate the difficult time ahead.
Thanks for watching, and sharing your feedback #widfam
I think you will always be a widow even if you are remarried. Found your channel a month ago. I enjoy listening to you. Today is the 4 yr Anniversary of my husband's death. I have learned to live without him but I miss him so much. We were married 49yrs. I Thank God for my children and Grandchildren they keep me busy.
I am also at 4 years. It has been quite a journey for me too. But I have found a contentment that I never thought I would have again. I thank God everyday for my kids and grandkids who brought me back to life again.
@@janehavens3086 Amen!
Thank you, it's nice to be reassured by my fellow #WIDFAM. At least it's not just me being stubborn! My husband is getting ready for the 2 year anniversary on April 17...this month has been rough for him!
I love your approach to all these topics. ❤️
Thank you so much! #WIDFAM
I love the way you stay so positive, it's because of this positivity that you can be yourself.. I really feel sorry for the ppl who can't ( won't ) move forward in life, it's the partners who passed not you and your life still goes on so learn to start living it again with a happy heart ❤ and happy memories xx
I love your channel! My husband died a year ago after being sick with cancer for 3 years. People judge me for moving on but I want happiness for my teen daughter and I. I want to laugh again and be human. People don’t understand that when my husband was hit with that diagnosis I was already grieving. Our lives were never the same. You can sit in darkness or continue to live. I’ll see my hubby again but not here. So I have other work to do and I want my daughter to see me happy again. She’s been through so much. I met someone quickly and my daughter adores him and it feels right. I don’t care what others think, they stare and comment. But they don’t know the darkness I was in for years. People are afraid of death. But I’m not, especially after watching my husband slip away. I know I have more work to do and one day I’ll see him again. But in the meantime, I’ll keep trying to find happiness and help others to find there’s. Great channel great message love you thank you!!!
I love your outlook, and this is me pretty much...although even doing this, I felt guilty early on, as if I wasn't grieving "enough." Then I started learning about anticipatory grief an realized that I began my journey at diagnosis, not at the time of his death. Thanks for sharing, it helps to hear the stories from others that are similar to our own, so we know we are not alone in this! #widfam
Also, check out the "12 Things I learned..." video on this channel, I bet you recognize many of them!
My husband passed away in August 2020 at the age of 67. I was his caretaker for 6 years and hadn't been able to do much of what I wanted to. I didn't mind because "for better or worse". I've been judged for getting on with my life - playing pickleball, traveling now that we can, getting together with friends. I know this is what he'd want me to do.
I saw my Dad lose himself when he lost my mom, she was the love of his life, he had no idea how to keep going. He did the best he could. I did lose my ex husband. I went to check on him because he was very sick due to not taking care of his juvinal diabetes. I was remarried at the time and when I got to his place I found his passed away. It's been something that was so different to process. I truly have lost too many people in my life, I just try to focus on the good memories and appreciate the signs they send me to let me know they are still with me💔
Losing an ex-partner is a complicated grief for sure! We have many who have commented on the channel, and in our FB group who have lost ex-spouses. It is difficult for them in other ways besides just the “regular” type of grief, especially when it comes to how other people treat them. #widfam
You still have the widowhood experience, you still have priceless advice.
Thank you, that is so nice to say! #widfam
I just feel so much for you. It is so important to remember the good times. Cherish all the good stuff. Ignore the jerks online and be however you need to be❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I agree!!! Thanks for watching! #widfam
There are trolls who comment about “lumps”in necks. Prepper Princess had one on a live chat. Your neck looks ok to me.
Your content is much needed.
Thank You!
Really, so that is an actual thing??? OMG people honestly have too much (clap clap) time on their hands... no wonder it keeps coming up. Thanks for clarifying, I honestly thought I was losing my damn mind lol.
@@OneHappyWidow maybe....on a positive note. There was a nurse who spotted a lump on the throat of a HGTV star and her spotting it and he got it checked and it was cancer. It saved his life
Have been watching for awhile. Am blessed by you sharing your experience. I am a widow for 7 years now. Still grieve, always will.
Thanks for watching! #WIDFAM
Watching your videos are very helpful. I’m not a widow but spent last 2+ expecting to become one. However he is improving now. Now I’m confused, mourning what could have been, guilt, etc etc.
Yay for fabric. Patchwork, dressmaking and knitting have kept me sane 🤣
Thanks for what you do even though I don’t fit the demographic
I'm sorry you are in this limbo...but glad your hubby is on the mend for now! If the videos helped you watched, and we don't worry about demographics! #WIDFAM
Really enjoy your programmes, have helped me big time xx
Thanks for watching! #widfam
I truly appreciate you and your channel🙏🏾💕
Thank you so much! And one of my favorite people is named Trudy...you're in good company! #WIDFAM
@@OneHappyWidow Trudy... I used to know a Trudy as well... there’s not too many of them out there. Great name!
Sometimes you just get stuck. I’m 60. Boyfriend died hours before my 18th birthday. We were a very committed couple making firm plans. “You know when you know.” Loved what you said about your current husband and his birthday. Never been okay with celebrating my birthday. Nothing dramatic, just not in the right head space after anniversary. Love what you have said about sudden and terminal illness. 18 months after boyfriend suddenly died, my father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Very similar to your story from older child’s point of view. So lost both by the time I was 20. Told if I believed in the teachings in the Bible, move on. I do have a strong faith and had a lot of time to fill. So married and raised a family. Grand babies are coming. So many blessings to be thankful for. But when the marry-go-round of raising children had slowed down, kind-a all came back. Boyfriend is buried 17 hours away. Never have made it back since I was 18. I promised myself (and him) that I would come back. Is it wrong to want so desperately to fill that promise. My family does not fully understand. Husband says it’s fine. I have no one to make the trip with. I have no idea if it is closure or just opening up deep wounds. I think it’s just honoring my promise and saying you are so very important to me and always will be. Am I disrespecting my children by wanting to go? Is it wrong so many years later? Thoughts?
I think you should make that trip! You made the promise, and you need that closure. In addition, I think after so much time, it starts to feel surreal, almost like it was a dream or a distant memory and a visit to the grave will validate your grief. I’m glad your husband is supportive!
Loving the channel my name is heather from Dundee Scotland ……. Your living your life and you can still grieve and the haters or nasties seriously need to get a life ,,,,,,! I lost my sister in December 20 and your video helped me realise we don’t always understand grieving but it’s nice to watch your videos and not to feel alone xxxx and yes you are a widow …….. so stuff the haters….x oh and it comes up my husbands name as it’s his account …xx
Thanks for watching, and for your support Heather! #widfam
You are a gift…thank you. ❤️
Thanks for watching! #widfam
Well, I have to say that I’m glad I found your videos! Thank you for your great work, please keep it up. Don’t worry about what others say!!!!! God bless!
Thank you very much!
Yes. We will always be widows not matter what happens to us the rest of our lives. Great videos!
Boy do I have a big typo there! No not not! 🙄
Thank you for your support! And I think you can go back and click the 3 dots next to your comments and edit them if you ever have a typo, just for future reference. This one is no big deal, but I posted on a widows FB group once on my phone and it autocorrected some word to "bitch" so it looked like I was calling the person one who I was replying too...thank God for the edit button on there!!! #WIDFAM
you and your new husband were meant to meet, I think it's wonderful that you two found each other!
I agree! We both feel this way. #widfam
Many good points! Thank you for your video, as always.
It was interesting to hear the origin story of your TH-cam channel and, as a fellow crafter, to learn where all that fabric came from.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Love your Channel LEO & WidFam....what more can I say except I wish I wasn't a part of it by classification, but since I am, it is truly "the best" channel for me @ this time in my life & I am grateful you are available to my life. Thank you for that~
Ruth, we are so glad to have you in the club that no one wants to join! #WIDFAM
It has been very helpful to hear your experiences, thank you! Been 1 1/2 years since sudden loss of my husband of 38 years.
Thanks for watching! #WIDFAM
I was also curious about the fabric wall behind you as being a quilter I have a large fabric stash. I didn't ask about it as I thought it was off topic - but anyhow I am glad you explained it. Your positive attitude is very helpful to many and so disregard to haters.
Thank you! Glad you got to see (most of) my stash...I have more, but I didn't want to bore the non-crafty folks lol. #WIDFAM
Congratulations to you and JP on your marriage. Love happens when it happens. I’m so glad it happened for y’all. ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for watching!
I think you are amazing. Also since the pandemic and isolation, people jump on the internet to rant about anything, something mostly nothing!! You inspire happiness. Thank you for what you are doing. Thanks for the tour of the beautiful fabric. GOD Bless you!!!
Wow, thank you, that is so sweet of you to say! #WIDFAM
I just came across your wonderful video. Your experience will help many people who suffered this loss of a loved one .
Your a happy widow for sure . You deserved to have happiness in your life and I'm glad you found love again with someone who understands grief. Keep making these videos 🧡💚💛 your honesty is very impowering.
Thank you for watching! #widfam
I'm not sure how I came across your channel, but I'm glad I did. Last night I watched your two part post about your husband's passing. I could relate to so much of it. My husband passed away in August 2020. He was 67. His health problems began in 2014 when he had to go on dialysis because of renal failure. He had many other issues over the years, which I won't go into now. He had been in and out of the hospital many times over the years. This last one was kind of sudden, however, as he went to the ER on a Friday and was gone on Sunday. I think he knew, though, because as they were wheeling him to the OR he said to me "I think this is the one that does me in." I had never heard the term anticipatory grief, but that is what I experienced. I knew he wasn't going to live a long time - it was just a matter of when. I miss him every day, but I've adjusted relatively quickly because I was grieving his passing even before he died. I appreciate what you're doing to help widows know that it's okay to be happy. It doesn't mean you didn't love your husband.
Thank you for sharing! #widfam
I am so thankful for your channel I have been suffering for over a year and are losing my mind. God bless you.
Thanks for watching #widfam
I hope never to be a widow. I'm 79, married, and I could be one day. I find your channel helpful in the event that I loose my wonderful spouse of 58 years. I don't think anything could prepare you for it but maybe I could remember what others experience and somehow remember it, and it be helpful to me.. It also helps me in dealing with friends who have lost their spouse. Keep up the good work. It wouldn't have mattered to me if you hadn't been married to your first husband.
Thanks for watching and sharing your viewpoint! I know tis information can also help non-widowed people support their widowed friends and family, so I try to address those issues too! #widfam
Thank you for explaining about the goiter. I know it is your business and it probably felt intrusive for people to ask but I am sure that they were just concerned for you. I was too. Glad you have it under control.
Well, I found it humorous that SO many people noticed and commented, especially since my family never even noticed it at all lol. I'm glad people care enough to make sure I'm taking care of it before it turned into something worse! #WIDFAM
You are AWESOME!!!! Thank you I am newly widowed searching for some one who has been through what I am now and I think I found the perfect person! Thank you so much!!!
Thanks for watching! #widfam
I love this video😍 sometimes i feel really weird about somethings that i intend to do but when i watch your videos i feel at peace with how i'm living my life. I've been widowed for 4months and i decided that i'm going to have a happy life regardless because i know my husband would want me to be happy. People would always judge and thats their problem not mine. Its my life and im gonna live it.
Love your attitude about life! #widfam
Thank you for sharing your grief process with us. you are helping me to be okay with my own feelings I'm going through, I just loss my husband in January, I can really identify some of the feelings you have shared. No one really understands what it is like to lose your spouse except someone else with the same loss.
Thanks for watching! #WIDFAM
Thank you so much for your channel. I found you just a few weeks after my love died. We were never married but together 24 years. Although the term widow was very obscure to me in the beginning I have started to identify with it. I have lost my life long love and no other word does describe it. Thank you for coming at this topic with some up beat-ness and humour. Although in the beginning other widow groups I was apart of were quite sad and I was right there I knew I needed to pick myself up and needed to find away to be happier, although I still feel I’ll always be a slight bit sadder version of my old self. But that said I am only three months out. That could change. And perhaps I hope it will and can in the future.
Cheers. 😉❤️
Melissa, these are very realistic expectations of grief and of yourself. At 3 months out, the fact that you are even seeing a light at the end of the tunnel is amazing and healthy for you! I would say that we are never the same, and you are right, we will always be a slightly sadder version of ourselves, but that doesn't mean we have to waste away pining and crying for the rest of it. We can accept that our lives will be different, and will have moments that give us pause and cause us to cry, but there are s many moments of life in between where we can find joy, feel happy, and enjoy laughter again too! #WIDFAM
I became a widow 30years ago to cancer. Then I met a great man and we got married but I still think about him on his birthday Christmas and what would have been our wedding anniversary and my husband under stands there is always a light over the rainbow 🌈
I believe we can grieve and love at the same time. You'll never forget your love for your late husband...I wonder how strange it will be to me when I am old and remember my young husband lol. When Im 80 (if I make it there), I'll be thinking of my 42 year old husband, who will forever be 42! #widfam
Been a widow for 2 weeks your channel is very interesting thank you
Prayers to you on this journey. Feel free to reach out if you need to! #WIDFAM
I’m sorry for your husband’s loss. Friends in Grief Spousal Group helped me. We were told to get up, make your bed, shower, eat and get outside. Be kind to yourself. You are in a good spot here. Reach out. 🤗🙏🏼
Thank you for being so open. You are so right. I will also always be a widow since my late husband still matters to me. I’m almost 5 yeats out
@@pamlees7407 Such simple tasks, but I love how effective they can be for our healing process!
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and perspectives. In my opinion, once widowed always widowed...even if remarried because you the widowed experience continues. Thank you for uou care and concern.💜💜💜
Great point! #WIDFAM
Thank you so much for this video Leo. You have been a blessing💗.
It's been 18 months since my husband passed on, so much pain, so much pain. I am moving forward though, I really have to, really need to. I still cry, grieve, miss my best friend my love so very much. I have more joy and have been laughing a lot more and so thankful for it. Your videos are very very helpful. I tried a couple groups and usually felt worse when I left. One group that has helped me is called grief share support group. Most churches offer it. I am so happy for you and your husband God's many blessings to you! 🦋🕊️🌹
Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback! I have heard many good reviews about Grief Share and I have tried it myself as well. I did a few videos about it, and I do think it is a great resource. Fell free to join our FB group for more support as well: www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow
Time to prepare for 5k subs!
So close!
Thank you for all the content you provide in these videos❤️ I really appreciate your honesty and encouragement. Btw, You are still a widow.
I’m not sure how I ended up on your channel. I am not a widow. My husband is still living, but he has some health issues. I’m always preparing myself in the back of my head. Maybe that’s why I find your channel very fascinating. You are a blessing to many. I’m wondering if I’m in the anticipatory phase, although his lung illness has not advanced. This is a very interesting phenomenon that you address. Thanks!
My latest 2 videos address anticipatory grief, but they are triggering, so bring the tissues with you! #widfam
I don't know why people choose to be so mean about something so simple and something so touchy yes you're still a widow I technically am not my boyfriend died before we could get married but I will still continue to watch this channel and I thank you for having it and sharing your experiences
You share the same experiences, loss, and feelings of grief that you would have as a wife, I would consider you a part of the #widfam
Well I’m happy you found love again. That your happy and that you could move forward. It’s not easy especially when you’ve lost your partner. God bless and May you both grow old and happily ever together.
Thank you that is very nice of you to say! #widfam
Thank you for your videos.
Thanks for watching! #widfam
Thank you for all of your honest answers & your replies to all...
Thank you for the thyroid answer.
I remain a divorced widow. My adult children are still grieving 10 years later. Your support has been very helpful.
Kudoes to your courage for remarriage & then explaining it, over & over as new subscribers come on board to your growing & supportive channel.
Thank you for taking your time for us & yourself!
Yes, I find I am still grieving for the marriage that didn't last... and now I find I am still grieving for my adult children whose father is dead & not able to participate in their lives & his grandchildren's lives....as they wanted.
Thank you for sharing! I have to assume that new viewers don't know the story, so I want to make sure they know when I say "my husband" that it doesn't take them by surprise lol #WIDFAM
I am still a Grandma; even though my first grandson was murdered the day he was born. My daughter is still a Mom. And I still get something for him EVERY HOLIDAY. This year I will be celebrating his life on his 4th birthday by building a fort for him. I have created a small area for children to play in my yard. Everyone knows it is okay to use, visit, play, and touch anything out there. It is a space for all that I have done for him (these projects would have done with him) because I am, AND ALWAYS WILL BE his Grandma. I was there since the he was conceived (not in the room silly) and continued to be involved everyday of his life; through each day of the pregnancy, delivery, trauma, aftermath, grief, and beginning cycle of recovery. That is how I found this channel.
I lost 7 close family members (yes, I have a big family) in 15 months beginning in August 2012 (peak of my dream career and in my prime), 3 more family members passed and 5 teen suicides (my children's close long-term friends--the youngest was 15 years old) in the year 2014, then my ex- mother-in-law and sister-in-law passed in 2015 (separate tragic events for extended family members I still cared for and maintained close relationships with), my youngest child's Dad was diagnosed with HIV and then quickly he had AIDS which required brain surgery; and in 2016 my long-time partner and I went to visit his Mom in the hospital because she had a common procedure done--she passed away while we were there visiting (I am happy I was there for him and his family because they all seemed afraid or scared to touch her or be near her whrn it happened and I said, " no one wants to die alone or with people just staring at them while they go thru this last event if their life ever--they want held and loved and to be precious as the day they were born". I fixed her hair, took pictures of her with her sons, held her hand, introduced a safe place for all to love her every last second of her life). At this time, I was still grieving over the death of my Dad from early 2013. I was stuck.
My strange experience of multiple deaths is not worse than any other human's experience. Many people in the world lose all their family and friends in a day (you can fill in the blanks off the many ways these people pass tragically, traumatically, in natural disasters, naturally, by illness, circumstance, terrorists, wars, gangs, bombings, terrorists, etc.). Its just not spoke about or shared. Many think of only other countries besides US that this happens. I am not special, least special, most grieving, or have a desire to be comparative. There is just no such way or purpose of comparing the sadness and pain we humans feel when losing a person. It all hurts the same but losing my Dad was the worst...I thought.
Then, Sept. 2017, I saw the worst thing in my life, felt the worst pain I have had to endure, and I was depleted. This time, I felt many types of grief--for my daughter, my self, my other children, my family, my Grandson's family, extended family, etc. All I could do was be there for my children.
Before my Dad had passed, I had broke through a ceiling set by statistics and felt pure accomplishmwnt, but with gratitude and humility. I was in a good place and never expected what was to come. Yet, the broken pieces of glass from ceiling laid on the floor beneath me. When I fell to my knees in grief, my knees were cut. When I tried to stand back up, my feet got cut. As I felt like I had suffered the worst by then, I'd fall back to my knees to only hurt and bleed more. Then, with what seemed to be neverending, I used all my might to stand on my cut feet and tried to bear the weight-- with my sliced knees. Then, I got shoved down and sliced my hands...as I lay there bleeding, in pain, losing my self, I thought about everything and all that I had went through in those 5 years. I figured I should be well versed and stronger by now. I knew in that moment I was unable to help myself. So, I focused on helping others and hid my pain. I researched, went to grief counseling, went to counseling, support groups, and did all I could without success for myself BUT I was able to help my family.
That is when I realized I was going to be okay. That second, I knew that a wound had healed and then more healed. Soon, I was able to get up onto my knees, then I could stand. Later down the road, I picked up the fricking broken glass pieces (from false glass ceiling) from the floor to prevent further pain and injury. What I realized was: even though I wasnt able to see that I had found a coping mechanism while in the midst of grieving, while I only felt pain and loss, and could barely understand how I was able to continue. I was unaware that I was just in the process of grieving and dealing with grief. I was always prepared before....but no one told me that my survival kit was lacking a "Preparedness Plan for Passing of Loved Ones".
Now, I know more about my personal grief process and what it entails for me. Although, I will never be fully prepared for the loss of another; I have an idea of what it looks like, how long it takes me, and this will reassure me that I am on track to recovery. No matter how long it takes for me to grieve, I have to remember that I am just as sacred and keep doing what I have to do each day until I can see that I will be okay. People say it takes time to heal; I say it takes many breaths, feelings, a lot of love & support, and changes to heal (which is life used, not time taken).
I need to share or it will eat me alive. My secrets will make me sick if I hold them inside me. I have to move forward and put what I have learned to use. These videos helped me because it took me so long to heal and I felt I was messed up because I believed I wasnt coping in a healthy way. You have helped me to see that coping is coping when it comes to grief; especially, if the end goal is perseverance to heal. 💚💚💚
What wonderful things you did for your long term partners mum, and those who loved her! These things are worth more than gold, and I believe you will be rewarded after this life for those things you did.
I, too have seen a lot of deaths, lost a lot of loved ones. I think I come across as unfeeling, maybe even heartless, at times, but it's just, I've on some level become used to it. I was stoically handing out tissues to grown men at funerals by my mid twenties.
It's good to share these secrets, they keep us alone otherwise.
My dad's death was the one that hit me hardest too.
While my cousin slipped away from cancer, I sat and held his hand and sang Sunday school songs I thought would bring him comfort, and read Bible passages over him. I was 18 at the time. I spoke at his funeral too.
I'm still my cousin's cousin. I'm still my Daddie's daughter. I'm still the granddad's granddaughter. And I'm still a divorcee and a widow even though I am in a new relationship now. Xxx
Wow, what a read! So many deep thoughts for all of us to take in and think about. I also believe that one of the ways I cope with my grief is to help others with their own grief. We all cope in our own way, and you are right...as long as we are coping, we are ok (as long as it's not some unhealthy ways, of course). Thank you so much for sharing your incredible story and your secret pain with us. It sounds like you are on the path to being "ok" and prepared for whatever comes next. #WIDFAM
@@OneHappyWidow~Ahhh, I didn't expect a personal response from you, I am truly grateful. My heart is warmed.
Should I delete it? I only ask because when I wrote it (I knew I am not the only one with such a situation) I thought my vulnerability would help another person. I can be overwhelming but I try to be clear and concise to convey a certain tone of growth.
@@thebestwillow Right now....I am sending a virtual hug. My eyes slightly watered because of the understanding from you. Entirely.
Makes me wonder what took me so long to find this community?!?!? Maybe, it is divine timing for my growth and a sign I need press forward with perseverance and keep going in the direction I have been... (from Aug2012- Dec 2019 I lost my drive and interest in my passions).
Today, I connected, it feels safe and comfortable and my heart is appreciative for you. 💚💚💚
@@mistystorythyme2452 I'm glad my reply made you feel those things. We all need to feel understood and for some of us, that's harder than for others. I'm in the harder to be understood group, mainly if not exclusively because of my experiences.
As for timing, I only found this channel a week ago, and haven't ever really been in the widow community because I didn't really know it was a thing.
At this point, I've been widowed for several years and am in a well established new relationship, seems like odd timing for me.
And yes, I totally get the lost drive and passion stuff. I think society sees this as a bad thing, and in the context of this earthly life, I think it is, but. All these deaths I've dealt with over the years show me just how fleeting life on earth is, and I believe there is a much longer life after this, so I am more concerned with that. With the stuff you can take with you. Like the wonderful things you did for your. Partner's mom.
All my life I have had difficulty establishing a hobby, and that's problematic occasionally when I need something to fill my time, but like...say I got into video games....what good is that at the end of this life? Ya know? *Shrugs* xxx
Thanks for today’s video 🇦🇺💕❤️
Thanks for watching!
Thank you so much this Chanel is really helping me because some people just don't understand, you are such an inspiration it makes me realize not to feel guilt when I have happy days which are few it will be a year on 12 th August and I am 74 people want me to move out my house but not ready yet thank you from South Africa❤ I enjoy your videos!!!
Thank you for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam
Excellent channel. I can so relate to your video content. I lost my darling wife Mandy, to cancer of the womb, June 23rd, 2022. From finding a lump to her passing took 6 weeks. She was my beautiful wife and best friend and I miss her so much. Your videos help me cope and give me a focus. Thank you so much. x
Thanks for watching…praying for you on this difficult journey! #widfam
My step dad's mom passed away from bile duct cancer. It was a pretty short time between diagnosis and her passing away.
Apparently it is very aggressive. They fgave Dewey 11.5 months and he only lasted 4! #widfam
You are a precious lady. It has been 3 1/2 years since my darling husband died. I so appreciate you. You are so down to earth. God bless you.
Thank you, that is so nice of you to say! #WIDFAM
Leo, the experience is yours and I'm grateful your sharing. It doesn't matter a bit to me that you're remarried.
Than you for your support! #WIDFAM
I feel great love this channel I've met a group of people who have feelings like I have l love who I am and the person who I'm becoming.
I love your outlook too! Keep an eye out for my next course, you might enjoy it! #widfam
You said it perfectly, I still have grief even though I am remarried. A question I had....I noticed that many of my deceased husband's friends and family only remember the good things about him. I have struggled with this because he had a temper and addiction issues. Part of my grief is coming to terms with who he really was and what our relationship was really like. I miss him but I don't idolize him. Have you ever heard of this happening with other people?
Yep no one wants to say bad things about someone who has passed away. However, death does not change how a person acted in life... just because they may be an angel in Heaven, does not mean they were an angel on Earth
None of us is/was perfect. My husband struggles with this too, because his late wife made some...questionable life choices, let's just leave it at that. It affected their marriage and he had a lot of anger when she first died. He relied many stories that contained bad/sad memories, but I realized it was not helping him grieve, it was only making him hold onto anger. And he also didn't want anyone else talking bad about her after she died, whether it was true or not. I encouraged him to pick out the happy memories and hold onto those...and just let the rest go. They are not alive to ask forgiveness or change their behaviors, so I figure why keep the bad memories alive? But this is just my own perspective. You have to heal your own way. My marriage wasn't perfect either, and I realize my late husband was not a saint, but overall he was a good man, but flawed. I try to remember the good parts about him. The other stuff is over anyway, so I'm letting those bad memories died with him.
Hi, Tracy- I know exactly what you mean. Part (if not all) of my grief in the death of my husband stems from not what I miss, but what could have been and never was. I was grieving before he passed.
I had one of those trolls! Thanks for dealing with him! I am so sorry for your hubby's death. So young and so tragic. Mine was slightly older but died of a preventable blood clot. I am only 7 months in.
Hugs to you! #WIDFAM
Kellerin31 Today I’m 7 months in, also. We dated when we were teenagers in college. We had been married for 43 years. This week I came to the crushing realization that my husband is never going to call me and is never coming back. I am so lost and lonely without him. I have such crushing pain and panic attacks. Someday I might be able to smile and maybe even laugh. Hugs to all !
Good video. Good for you. I'm widowed, but due to this pandemic, we haven't even had a service as yet. Family is spread around the country. Hopefully this summer. Then maybe I'll cry. Still haven't had a good cry. I feel like it's not real yet. My husband died suddenly at work. So I'm half expecting a meltdown in July, he passed last March.
You are probably due for a good cry, and it could come when you least expect it and out of nowhere. When it does happen, just let it come and allow yourself to feel that pain, and process it out of your body. I know it's not fun to feel sad and to cry but if we hold it in, it doesn't go away, just lays in wait for a moment when we don't want it to happen. Thanks for sharing! #widfam
My husband also died while at work, it was a sudden heart attack. I watched an ambulance go flying past our house, they rarely drive that fast so I knew it was serious. We were married 34 1/2 years.