Many, many women would feel a great relief to finally be allowed to voice the same opinion. I don't care what society says, because I'm Muslim, and people already call me "oppressed." They can kick rocks. Male energy is amazing! We teach our children (I've only got sons) that society is trying to get rid of them because it makes it easier to brainwash and control society without their energy. We've been teaching our sons this for nearly two decades. You should see how my boys react to the "girl boss knows everything without struggle, and shows up all men" trope in movies and books. Male energy allows me to lean into my female energy. I work, but my motivation is to build my baby birds and our nest.
Modern society doesn't treat men like people. It treats us like work tools. Everything feminists complain that girls are 'taught' apply equally to boys. I was taught in school to be quiet, obedient, meek, and submissive, to do what I was told (by a female authority mind you) when I was told, without consent or ability to bargain, and to become this in that abusive environment, I had to suppress everything that would later allow me to prosper (my creativity, joy, spontaneity, artistic desires and even individuality) which created anger and pressure within me.
I am an Evangelical pastor and have been for 46 years. It is one of my pet peeves that pastors tend to be oblivious regarding the things Erin is sharing. The irony is that if pastors would become better informed and focus on affirming men and fatherhood they could have a much higher impact. Unfortunately, many pastors are either just ignorant or, worse, intimidated by so-called "Christian Feminists."
@@RandallvanOosten-ln5wf How's your father's day sermon, especially compared to your mother's day sermon? I've not been to a church in years that didn't have a vicious, scolding father's day sermon, and the more the mother's day sermon heaped platitudes on women, the worse the father's day one was. no wonder men would rather golf on that day.
@@RandallvanOosten-ln5wfpeople who have the position of teacher bear a moral obligation to teach truth to their students, even on topics that are uncomfortable or unpopular.
I'm glad you mentioned Peterson. I once saw him say that women put people into one of 3 categories: 1. Infant 2. Caregiver(s) of Infants 3. Threat. This blew my mind because I see it everywhere. The infant doesn't necessarily have to be an actual infant but any person or group of people perceived as weak or at a disadvantage like maybe seniors or minority groups. The latest of which is the LGBTQs. The women that do this stuff have placed themselves in the role of caregiver of infant and this gives them an ego boost, power, and a way to virtue signal. They also use this to control the behaviors of others especially men, who, if they don't go along with the caregiver of infants rules are run off and accused of being a threat. Far too many men cave in to this an end up acting like the white knight when really they have just become a trained dog of the caregiver of infants. And if a man rejects this position the woman quickly turns herself into the infant/victim and calls in higher authorities to act as caregiver of infant and take that man away or run him off. And the really wild part about this is that if you explicitly told and expected these women to be the caregivers of infants, they would rebel and condemn the audacity of trying to "force her" into some "traditional patriarchal gender role". But when you just watch what they do, they appear to desperately want to be the caregivers of infants. And one more tool that a lot of women use is plausible deniability to avoid accountability. But I've said enough. Thanks for this video. It's about time women started speaking out and calling out the toxic behaviors of other women because they are not going to listen to a man discuss any of this. He instantly becomes the threat. They tried this with Jordan Peterson. He survived it but what chance does the average man have at standing up to the woke mob?
Thank you for this comment. You hit the nail on the head. There are so many contradictions in modern feminism, it makes me want to pull my hair out. Women have been told we can have it all, but we can't. We don't have unlimited time and so therefore, sacrifices must be made. Jordan Peterson talks a lot about making the right kind of sacrifices. If women want a lucrative career, they must sacrifice spending time taking care of children, but that urge to nurture becomes sublimated and can turn into abuse towards men and other women. I think it's time for women to wake up and realize that regret is one hell of a deterrent.
Be careful with Jordan Peterson. Even if he says some good advices, a lot of what he says is rooted in a political agenda and have been debunked multiple times. An example of this is the lobster. I advise to double check every person that become millionnaire while pushing the agenda of the rich.
Ok. I finally get it now. Men actually behaving like men as nature intended = to be discouraged. Women behaving like men = greatly encouraged. Makes perfect sense.
@@jeradblazek677 Social engineering. What all these modern trends have in common is they divide people and destroy the potential for strong family building/bonding. A goal of social engineers, not coincidence.
Under socialism all are equal under the overbearing power of the state, comrade! Under capitalism all are equal under the overbearing power of the corporation, consumer! And under Neoliberalism, you finally get to be properly equally crushed under the corporate-state merger, chattel!
this is how you destroy a country. Attack women, destroy the social fabric, import foreigners with aggressive men who then dominate with violence and numbers. The West fifty years ago was a heaven compared to this hellscape we have now with so much mental illness, division, emptiness. Its almost as if ancient civilizations had a reason behind not letting women run their nations... what a shock
@@erinbyrd5377 As a man, one of the parts that speaks loudly to me is how men have not stepped into the traditional feminine roles the same way women have stepped into traditionally masculine roles. This phenomenon is easily observable and not fair to women in general. Many women use this point as a supporting argument as to why men need to "step up". HOWEVER, while it is true men have not taken on more traditionally feminine roles like women have taken up masculine ones, I am glad Erin Byrd did not ignore why this is the case. Men ARE NOT celebrated for filling these feminine roles the same way women are for occupying masculine positions. THIS MATTERS! Another phenomenon we all can observe is how stay-at-home dads, male nurses, and other men who hold historically feminine positions are treated (particularly how they're treated by women). The same women who claim they would love it if men cooked, cleaned, and took on more domestic duties continuously do not choose men who do so. Many women do not see these men as "real" men and we (men) KNOW this. This is a massive reason why domestic division of labor is so skewed. Not the only reason but a major contributor.
Women don't like scabs: anyone from outside or who won't follow the herd lead, or won't go along with the mean girl clique to ostracize the target. These days, that's men at large. They're especially hateful towards women overseas who are feminine and not infected with this destructive, marxist mind virus known as 'feminism'.
@@glutenfrei628 that comment still doesn't apply because of how easily and repeatedly the Bible is taken out of context. A blanket reading of the Bible alone will not align perfectly with the contents of this video
I am missing this kind of very thorough analysis in the dominant media. Great to hear a woman with her two feet on the ground of reality, analyse what is going wrong with our society. I am totally delighted.
Erin, You are such a finely-tuned, sensible and intelligent person. It is refreshing to hear someone speak so clearly and truthfully. You seem beyond your years. I sincerely hope that young and older alike will listen to your message. The level of imbalance, confusion today on all fronts has caused such great unhappiness and violence of mind - young people not understanding the most basic things - what they are, who they are, how they function. Thank you for your efforts.
Omg, THANK YOU! I've been saying this for years now! I feel so vindicated! Thank you so much for making this! I've been arguing about this very stuff and making these very points with a friend of mine! its insane! I'm not crazy! 🙏
This video hit all the marks! Thank you! Having traditional imigrant parents, I had a hard time understanding why my mom implied on teaching me about femininity and gender roles but I'm so glad that's my upbringing. I was able to catch up to the sabotage of feminism and capitalism especially when I experienced the harms of hookup culture and noticed the odd hate for feminine qualities. I found that I enjoyed falling into more traditional gender rolls, wanted a family and to prioritize raising my children well more than a career. I still have a degree and I know that I'm competent in many ways but I have no desire to compete with men.
Wow. I’m now obsessed with your channel. You put into words things I’ve sensed, struggled against and been bitter towards my whole life. Very well thought out, fairly viewed and insightful.
Going to the gym in what's essentially underwear for attention, secretly filming men glancing in their direction, then posting it online, accusing the men of wrongdoing - for more attention.
I think they do it due to the need of attention/validation and need to be desired. They are in a male dominated setting, testosterone pumping They are basically naked and you can see EVERYTHING (shamelessly), in hopes to record men they find attractive checking them out and maybe they come to their aid or ask them out(for validation, sex and desire). Unattractive men are considered creeps but she still secretly loves the attention. It is as if they are in heat and peacocking to attract attractive fit men full of testosterone, but hide under the disguise of doing exercise for social media
Great take, very grounded, humble and wise. Personally, I'm not a fan of the "toxic" label for masculinity or femininity as neither is inherently toxic, but rather can have corrosive antisocial effects when operating from a wounded or otherwise insecure place - which is all too common today. It's important for us as men and women to reclaim the divine nature of our birthrights and move away from zero-sum antagonism. Thank you for sticking up for masculinity and doing such a wonderful job articulating the strengths of femininity
"Toxic masculinity" isn't really a thing. It's simply a label women put on masculine behavior that inconveniences or does not immediately benefit any individual women or the sisterhood in general. Similarly, "toxic femininity" cannot exist separate from the corrupting influence of feminism.
It's just poo flinging and 'othering'. Categorizing men en-masse as 'not people' who interests, needs and opinions aren't worth consideration, or worse, actively undermined at every opportunity.
I would go even further. It not even an indicate of masculine behavior. Just people acting in a way they don't like. The terms are so vague and more impressions of a gender that exist in someone head than real life discernable virtues. Becvause even when people label them, you are really getting the description of an archtype. Which is far more just trying to adhere someone to be like that archtype of a person that leans towards said archtype. Be yourself. Screw everything else. The same is true in inverse for toxicity. Toxicity, entitlement, narcissism are all just pigeon hole impression terms that can be applied to anyone reductively enough with bad faith. It's a internet moral grandstanding gesture that sastifies the crowds need to have the right for social bullying/ judgement, nothing else. Because if they rely on other names or traits they'd have to actually...you know. Say something confirmable or a judgement with anything displayable - such as being a hypocrite or being easy to anger - but it also gives a psuedo-sense of intellectual venure where in the past if you just called someone a slur like in the wild net days, you're passing judgement but openly just going "yeah. I don't like you and I'm not going to pretend there's some ivory prestige to it. You're a X"
Instead of talking about "toxic masculinity" or "toxic femininity", we should be talking about masculine or feminine toxicity. What would these be? These are fairly summed in the "Curse of Adam" and the "Curse of Eve" in the Garden of Eden story: "To the woman also he said: I will multiply thy sorrows, and thy conceptions: in sorrow shalt thou bring forth children, and thou shalt be under thy husband's power, and he shall have dominion over thee. And to Adam he said: Because thou hast hearkened to the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee, that thou shouldst not eat, cursed is the earth in thy work: with labour and toil shalt thou eat thereof all the days of thy life." When we avoid the feminine curse or the masculine curse, we die. Literally: toxicity. Feminine toxicity is avoiding the pains of motherhood and disrespecting the authority of the husband. Masculine toxicity is avoidance of work. If either sex avoids its curse, the humans die; something that causes death is called "toxicity"; each curse is gendered specifically; therefore masculine/feminine toxicity. The femininely toxic is the "feminist". The masculinely toxic is the "couch potato".
Erin, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic. You presented your points thoroughly and clearly in a way that was engaging and easy for me to follow. ❤
I think one of the most difficult things of being a good parent is gradually letting your children be more independent and allow them to develop self reliance. I think some parents struggle with that as it goes against their urge to protect their children
That’s the reason why fathers are necessary. Fathers discipline their wives to let their children experience the world. Single mothers fail in that regard miserably. That is one of the reasons why fathers AND mothers are necessary.
Parents need to remember that they are not immortal. They won't always be there to ensure that their child makes good choices. Rather than make all the child's choices for them (although the parents will have to make some choices for the child, especially when the child is young), the parents need to teach the child how to make good choices on their own
Erin, I just recently discovered your channel. You are a breath of fresh air... With perfume ❤️ You made a comment about it "not being a buffet" (when picking and choosing the masculine traits in a man) and then said something about it not being Ponderosa. Since I'd never heard of Ponderosa/Bonanza steak houses, I interpreted this to mean the recent TikTok phenomenon of unattractive, delusional women who imagine themselves to be perfect 10's, praising themselves and then dissing the real men they've recently met who either did (or didn't) ask them out ...as disgustingly far beneath them. It's very cringeworthy. So naturally, I pictured an entitled, mean-spirited, toxic woman with an imaginary picture-menu of the **entrees** she "really deserves", attractively presented to Her Royal Highness with professionally photographed headshots of the cast of Bonanza: Lorne Greene Pernell Roberts Dan Blocker Michael Landon Guy Williams David Canary Mitch Vogel Tim Matheson ... Etc 😂 I might point out that most of these guys are dead. But that's not why they wouldn't ask her for a date. 😂
I had a few good decades. I feel sorry for young guys today, now women don’t even think they have to try. Now I invest my energies elsewhere and live alone, it’s nice to see the results pay off and to live without the chaos.
I'm glad that this was in my recommends and I subscribed. Yours is the first treatment of Toxic Femininity that I have seen that did not try to present it as just a byproduct of Toxic Masculinity but rather discussed it as something that is capable of existing on it's own, entirely separate from Toxic Masculinity. Over the years, I have frequently seen women behave horribly to other women, as have nearly all men who are paying attention. These women are typically awful to men as well, but they use an entirely separate 'toolkit' for that. Women's toxic behavior towards other women looks very different from their toxic behavior towards men. Where Feminism comes into the mix, the issue is that we are told that it is for all women yet I have seen women be treated badly within Feminist circles simply because of a difference of opinion on certain issues, as if a woman no longer qualifies as a woman simply for thinking differently. The first time that I saw this was when I was in college. I knew one couple who were devout Christians and were planning to get married right after graduation. One semester, she decided to enroll in a Women's Studies 101 class to fulfill either a Social Sciences or Humanities elective that she needed. She said at the time that she thought that would be an interesting way to fulfill that elective requirement, sitting in a room with other women discussing the history of women and that she was looking forward to it. Fast forward a few months to the end of that semester. He and I are sitting together laughing as she described in graphic detail just how thrilled she was to be finished with that class and how horrible it was! She said that, as a woman who was heterosexual, Christian, politically moderate on most issues and planning to get married after college that she was frequently singled out and treated with hostility by the other students in the class and on a couple of occasions even by the professor! He and I raised our fists in the air and said, "Solidarity sister!" That didn't go over well...
Isn't it funny how feminism is supposed to be good for women when in reality it's the complete opposite? Feminists say they care about women's issues and then turn around and torment women who don't think like they do. In academia, the minds of young women are turned against men and pumped full of lies. I appreciate your comment, and it's disappointing to hear what happened to your friend in that women's studies class. I hope the lies of feminism become exposed and that women will one day wake up.
That's just a shitty learning environment for any1, whether they're conservative traditional housewives or anarcho-feminist protesters with facial piercings and blond dreadlocks (just a cliche i know)
Your intellectual discourse and argumentation is impressive. You must be very well read and knowledgeable in these subjects. I enjoy listening to your videos. Greetings from Denmark, and hope all is well :)
As a man who had the struggle to find a woman who even wants to be a mother someday and at least be quite decent at that - not in America, but in the similar minded Germany - the only reasonable option for me was to give up that hope and just focus on myself. Just thinking of having kids someday seems to be a red flag for most woman these days... When I get asked why I have this mindset, i proudly tell them: I am a strong and independent woman! I really appreciate your insights. Your words are applicable also here and probably in many other places as well. I have much respect for you as a woman and as a content creator. Thank you for caring about men!
Another great analysis. Thank you. Masculinity? Masculinity? How about the three men who protected their girlfriends at the Dark Knight Rises shooting in Aurora Colorado? And died. Literally taking the bullet for their girlfriends. By all accounts, the men did not ponder or deliberate or prevaricate. They acted instinctively. I tear up every time I think about their bravery. I was in a distantly similar situation once while out for a walk with my 12 year old son. A large, vicious dog (large = 80-100 pounds more or less) escaped his pen and lunged at us to attack. I instinctively pushed my son behind me and faced the dog. I unbuttoned my coat and spread the drape to look bigger and I charged that dog. We had a stand-off until the owner came-and I called the police.
I’m thankful for you making these videos. Great information and being able to put words to all the things I perceive as troublesome but had no way to describe them.
Traditional masculine traits made our world. Rebranding it as 'toxic' is just the feminist's way of attacking the traditional roles played by men. There is nothing toxic about it other than the fact that it opposes the doctrines of feminism. As a boy who grew up into a man with clear expectations of what a man is or does, I don't see anything toxic about it. Is it the stress associated with meeting the expectations? I dealt with it naturally. What are the feminists actually concerned with? I have seen attempts by feminists to conflate masculinity with bullying and call bullying toxic masculinity. Bullying has nothing to do with masculinity. There are just as many female bullies as male bullies. Even women who combat femininity often talk about toxic masculinity as the root cause of toxic femininity. This is not true.
Well constructed and good. Though I think there's a missing element when discussing toxic femininity that most people overlook. If "Toxic Masculinity" is "male traits gone too extreme and bad" then the trait I think of most that would be toxic femininity would be over-supportiveness. This is *kind* of like the devouring mother element, but more generalized and it is how women affect other women in a toxic way without being duplicitous or conniving necessarily. Because think of all the women who support other women even though those women are doing unhealthy or negative things. Women supporting others is one of the most feminine traits I can think of, and one of the main reason we as men love women. There's nothing like a woman's support. But a woman who supports someone even when they do something wrong or bad is providing aid and comfort at the wrong time, to the wrong person and thus encourages their negative behavior. The women who support the "healthy at any size" activism despite it causing harm to proponents and those that join them, the mother or wife who supports her criminal son or lover who commits crimes despite the harm the criminal does to the community, the mother who supports their child taking life altering hormones even though it's obviously a fad and in a medical fashion trend and likely regrets will come later . . . all are signs of a natural and healthy feminine trait being taken too far and misused because there's no judiciousness applied to the support. I suppose you could call it something along those lines: Injudicious Support, or Amoral Emotional Support or something along those lines. Again, I suppose this falls into the "Devouring mother" territory because most of the examples I can think of are mothers supporting their children in ways that harm their child or society at large, but I see it often enough with women supporting other women in negative ways where I don't think the women offering support are purposefully sabotaging those other women as rivals. They're just incapable of seeing how their tendency to offer emotional aid and comfort is encouraging a negative behavior.
In regards to toxic masculinity.. there is a difference between suppression emotions and having self control. Self control enables you to behave in a civil society. Caving to every emotion leaves you feral and doing bad things to yourself and others. This is especially important for men because of their physical size and ability. There are many things that were engraved into and pass down from generation to generation that were part of society because it enabled a mostly successful society. Yes, it wasn't perfect, but it generally worked. When the 60s came and everything switched from generational based knowledge to scientific knowledge in the general society, we lost all of that. It has taken 2 generations for science to start to prove that some of what was done in the past was actually good for society. It took thousands of years for society to learn this before. All thrown away only to be rediscovered again.
I'd suggest that the source of "Toxic Masculinity" is the women who chose to raise sons without their father in their life, leaving them with a hatefully drawn caricature to base their view of an adult man on.
Good, well thought out and presented video tackling a problem in a society that has skewed values and a broken moral compass. I like that you avoided the blame game to a degree and kept to the facts where important. The MGTOW movement has come as a response to toxic femininity and we see ourselves in a battle that neither side wanted. The feminist movement has been distorted over time to mean something completely different to that its founders created it for. Equality has become a buzzword for corporations and those wanting to change a society that worked into one that solely focuses on profit and big business. It is no coincidence that corporations have diluted the workforce by creating "opportunities" ( for want of a better word ) that attract women into the workplace to fulfil their subliminal messaging that women need more power than they had before the sexual revolution. Wages have been depressed to a point that most live hand to mouth because there isn't enough workplaces to go around to satisfy the needs of men let alone women. Traditional roles in the workplace can now be filled by any gender and making equality laws has even made it that business can now pick and choose and use the excuse of quotas to get away with it.
If women were to move out of the workforce, would the remaining men make more money? I think it's pretty obvious that women aren't happy today, with the divorce rate being so high. They have to work full time jobs and pay daycare centers to raise their kids. No wonder so many of them are miserable.
@@erinbyrd5377 I want to also avoid the blame game here. Men are walking away from women for different reasons. Throughout history from the dawn of mankind men have provided for and protected women because it is in their DNA. Men are stronger for this reason. It is literally what they were built to do and has been ingrained in them passed from father to son forever. You cannot just reverse that paradigm without consequence. In answer to your question, yes men would be paid more in a society that recognised that each gender were built for a specific purpose. Supply and demand comes into play where it used to be that corporations vied for and begged for qualified men to work for them. This has been reversed by flooding the job market with available labour in the form of women.
@@erinbyrd5377 I wrote a whole lengthy reply to this but pressed a wrong button and lost it all lol. So here goes again. I want to avoid the blame game here as well. By flooding the market with available labour corporations can and do profit from this by keeping wages low whereas it used to be they vied for qualified men to fill these roles and were willing to pay for it. So yes men would be paid more if women stepped away from those roles traditionally held by men. Men were literally built to provide and protect women, it's in their DNA and passed from father to son from the dawn of mankind. They had to be stronger to protect their family from dangerous animals and hunt to provide for their mate and children. You cannot play with that paradigm and hope there to be no consequence. Men are walking away for different reasons but I think the main one is that their is no more necessity to provide and protect yet women still expect it because it is a woman's DNA. And fair enough. She provides a service to him in sex and offspring and making a home ( his legacy if you like ) and he reciprocates the only way he knows how and is expected to do so by his very genetics. It was always a fair deal.
@@andreparadis6076 "you can't play with that paradigm and hope there will be no consequences". You're totally right. I hear what you're saying about avoiding blame, because people can't help but to conform to their societies, but the ball is actually in women's court. Women are the ones who can change all this.
Considering that the founders of NOW were toxic, lesbian marxists (Kate Millett, et al), their point was to change the culture, by destroying men, by destroying the family, via promiscuity, eroticism, homosexualty, abortion and divorce. Equality was just the public facing rationalization for it. The goal was to destroy the family and make women dependent on the state, instead, so they'd vote for marxism. I'd say that they're succeeding in their initial goals quite well.
Another excellent video. You're an asset to the human race and it's brilliant how you can be a stay at home mum but bless the whole world, through TH-cam, with your knowledge and wisdom. I think I'm becoming a massive fan.
THANK YOU FOR PUTTING THOSE TWO WORDS TOGETHER FINALLY!!
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Interestingly, "toxic masculinity" as it is defined by feminists can basically be captured via the latent construct of Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) and, to a lesser extent, via Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) (or comorbidity between both psychopathologies). I wish not to comment on the strawman that represents "toxic feminity" since it is not all that clear to me that women ought to be subservient, but there are a few interesting ideas that we can point out. First, while we would expect toxic feminity to be the counter-pendant of toxic masculinity, that is the feminine manifestation cluster B traits, de facto, the feminist's definition of toxic feminity is basically a bourgeois attack on traditional feminity, if I may borrow the idea to Mary Harrington (see notably her interview on Modern Wisdom and Triggernometry). Second, it is also interesting to consider that the ideal of empowered women, colloquially referred to as "boss b****", strangely looks close to the attitude, character, and behavior we would expect in moderately to highly narcissistic men... Finally, it is interesting to note the sleight of hand from the tenors of the feminist movement simultaneously shaming both men and women while internalizing men's worst personality traits in order to feel powerful, which suggests both a propensity for Machiavelism and narcissism as defined in the dark triad. Now, considering that all dark triad traits are significantly, positively, and moderately to strongly correlated with one another (.34 to .58), according to a meta-analysis (Muris et al., 2017, p. 188), it should come as no surprise that such women would bully other women (which could be either a manifestation of psychopathy and/or sadism). In any case, I agree with J. B. Peterson when he calls for more research on female anti-social behaviors (and symptoms of depression in men). References: Crocq, M.-A. et Guelfi, J.-D. (2015). DSM-5: manuel diagnostique et statistique des troubles mentaux (5e éd). Elsevier Masson. Muris, P., Merckelbach, H., Otgaar, H. et Meijer, E. (2017). The Malevolent Side of Human Nature: A Meta-Analysis and Critical Review of the Literature on the Dark Triad (Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy). Perspectives on Psychological Science, 12(2), 183‑204. Paulhus, D. L. et Williams, K. M. (2002). The dark triad of personality: narcissism, machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Journal of Research in Personality, 36(6), 556‑563.
Appreciate your insight and willingness to talk about these current subjects with an open mind and willingness to understand. Id be interested to hear your take on Esther Vilar's book "The Manipulated Man".
I talk a lot about this in dutch on tiktok, but most woman dont want to hear ittttttttttt 😂. I know them very well. I expose every dirty secret and they hate me for it haha.
Feminism should be called Manism! Spot on I think and this video was another great one and it's the second of yours I've watched. So incredible to see even the definition of toxic femininity point a subtle finger back to it actually being about toxic men for condemning women to such passive characteristics. There, once again, we can see the deep extent of gynocentrism that runs through our society which is never spoken about or admitted especially by women. To admit to being the protected species with the intolerable. Thank you and I think you are a great contribution to the space. Thank you so much for your compassion and understanding towards men and for being so brave to speak truthfully about these issues🙏🏼
Growing up as a kid in the 1970s I used to consider feminism a good thing because the world was unbalanced and unfair. Once in the workplace I (working in offices where I was often the only man, or one of 2 men, in communications ) saw at first hand how the women I worked with genuinely felt that women were better than men. In other words, feminism was not about equal, it was about superiority. I disagree with female superiority same why I disagreed with male superiority in the 1970s, simply because I still bel that men and women are equal. Neither is superior and the world needs both in equal measure.
So nice to hear! And from an American, too. Well, of course from an American. In most other countries, these points go without saying. The state of femininity in America is a disaster. I hope they will all hear you; they desperately need to hear you. Lord knows I have tried to promote sound philosophy but I'm just a white man of European heritage, so what do I know....
I think toxic femininity and masculinity are self-centered conduct expressed in different forms. As a tomboy, I have strong natural affinity for certain masculine traits and don't consider them bad in themselves. School was a lonely place for me. The boys left me alone, while one of the girls made me a target. I can agree that such conduct went unaddressed. Thank you for standing up for shame.
Hi! This was a fantastic video, thank you for putting it together. As a small suggestion: it would be interesting - if you're willing to make a video about it or even briefly answer here - to learn more about the life path you've taken or, maybe more specifically, the beliefs or experiences that have led you to hold the views that you do. In a digital world consumed by the gender wars, it's rare to hear anyone speak in a critical, detached, non-partisan way about "their own side." Personally, I'd love to learn more about how you've arrived where you have.
It’s a funny mental image at 28:24 of sweet little Erin shoving old people out of the way at the grocery store. I suspect it’s an exaggeration for storytelling effect. 😂
I seriously love the way she delivers that almost deadpan, I'm imagining a quiet INFP just assuming her place in line..... maybe ahead of a few and pretending not to know there were other humans in the store :D
Again, great work, Erin. If you have not read Joyce F. Benenson's "Warriors and Worriers: The Survival of the Sexes", I highly recommend it. It contains a huge amount of data regarding research done on sexual dimorphism. What she shows is the differences between the sexes is larger than most people realize and developed as separate survival strategies.
I've been trying to figure out why we seem to be suffering from divisive ideologies that make both men and women unhappy, and I'm glad to have found someone able to go dig deeper. If you're a parent looking out for your son or daughter, it's almost a necessity to figure out a proper theory of success that won't backfire for them, and to carefully guide them. This post modern world is not easy to navigate as either man or woman. Here's to hoping we can keep up with the technological impacts and cultural norms that seem to make life harder.
Great video. I would nitpick the part about traditional masculinity but overall great job. I love the straight intellectual approach without the emotional or political baggage that almost always accompanies this topic
You may have already done this but a video about EXACTLY how you woke up to responsibility would be a helpful video topic. I can imagine sharing this hypothetical link any time a woman displays a lack of accountability or ability to admit fault...
Adding "femininity" or "masculinity" to "toxic" is not necessary. People showing toxic behaviour are just that - toxic people. Making it about a category of people is nothing but diversion by design - to shift focus on the differences, instead of the actual problem. Toxic people should be called out for what they do, not for what they are.
it started primarily as a way for shitty women to use their female shaming tactics against men, because in all aspects and ages of life men tend to be physical and women emotional. this is true in the school yard, in the type of jobs people choose (men physical jobs, women caretaker roles) but also for bullying and violence. now, they'll use the same old tropes. your an incel, you live in mums basement, you have a small pp, you didnt satisfy her in bed, etc.
Erin tell us how to be mature as a woman in today's world , it is really not simple since my mother was never around as i was a kid , and now im struggling to identify healthy people and how to be a healthy woman. And also since everyone wants you to have a career and work outside when you don't want to go outside that much.
That was superb. I've been hearing these things in various degrees from the MGTOW community since 2013, but never so cogently and persuasively from a woman. I loved your comments about discounted meat.
GirlWritesWhat used to be extremely famous, especially her early essays. There was another girl (some sort of farmer girl), her essays were amazing, but she was threatened/bullied & left youtube. Well, some identify themselves as MRAs: Errin Pizzey is an amazing woman. She created the "first" women's refuge... Some of her interviews just mindblowing. Of course some academics like Christina Sommers & Janice Fiamengo....
They called mgtow losers 10 years ago. Now they are using the exact mind set of mgtow but just relabeled it as alpha etc etc and post videos of it on tik tok and TH-cam to overwhelming support from men…. Funny that.
Hi and thankyou for your thoughtful words! I really, deeply and with my whole heart appreciate you concentrating on what you say, not filling your videos with gimmicks and whatever bling-bling there might be available. You, and your room, look like what you are saying. And I want to say that you are very beautiful just as you are there. Beautiful and convincing. This is the third of fourth videos of your I have watched. I am happy about your points of view. However, not being very masculine but still a man, I'd like to hear you saying something that softens the difference between stereotypical men and women. I know, these stereotypes are necessary for speaking about sexes or gender. And I don't say that you should somehow soften these differences of sexes in every sentence. It would be tiring and even harming your presentation. But I'd like to hear some notions about sexes being a continuum, not fundamental oppositions, because then there is no place for me! And yes, as far as I can understand, most of us like belonging to sex they belong to. They don't have specific reasons to express not fitting in their gender. Or sex. But I do, and here I see the danger of exaggerating the opposite. Now, feminism, as we know it, is going to fail. It don't work for the reasons you express. It still does not mean that the exact and extreme opposite will work better. Look at Russia, for example... Speaking of sex as currency or something like that: women do have their own sexual needs. It is the manifestation of the need to reproduce of our species. It gives them, as well as us, pleasure and satisfaction. These two things are connected to sexuality. If they have sex with someone during a first date, the reason might be that they want to keep that man, but also, that they want to have sex. I am in my fifties and miserably lost everything a decent man should achieve. So, having lots of time for nothing, I have red about dying people's thoughts (and several other things). Mainly, they are not too interested in their economic or social victories. The things they are happy about are their families and long time friends. I am not saying that a young person, having decades to live, should be like a dying great-grand-mother-or-father. But we should remember, that when the winds of politics, economics or weather systems change, our fortune can disappear in a moment. What we need, and are thankful for then, are the close people. Understanding this is the precise reason for my father seeing his life worth living during the deep depression here in the early nineties. There were lots of wealthy enterpreneurs who died either by suicide or just falling very ill due to the loss of everything material they believed in. So, while not thinking precisely like you, I think you are very realistic and wise. And once again, I like your calm way of speaking. And a funny detail: living in a place where the mercury can drop to -30°C, dogs really need sweaters! Living next to wild wolves, I could think about offering them a safe and warm place for the coldest nights and see if they like it, though not our living room!
15:11 "... the ideology of feminism prevailed which told women and girls that in order to be equal women needed to start having sex like men treating it like any other social interaction. Since that time sexual expectations have changed under the pretense that there are no longer consequences of having sex even though in reality that's not true. In today's society, a lot of young girls and women think their virginity is a burden that they must get rid of because they want to fit in with their peers. The problem is that sex is now cheap and easy to get and the group that suffers from this state of affairs is women." Actually, the bigger loser is the men who never recieved that sex anyway, but decided to "play by the rules". Societal ridicule for them and their situation is off the charts. Sex is not "cheap and easy to get" for all men ... this is a major "red pill" point. 15:54 "... women have lost their only real power in the world." The fact that you quoted it as a "power" speaks to this loss by those men. It's one of the consequences of having that sex that isn't being mentioned.
If a man and a woman go on a first date, and they have sex, and the man never speaks to her again, that's considered a win for the man, but it's a painful loss for the woman.
@erinruhl5377 A lot of modern feminist thinking is to erase the pain of any loss for that woman - basically, to redefine "loss" to "gain". And that's a lot of what your video goes over, when you say her friends are talking her into getting rid of her virginity and/or sleep around. My argument is not about the man in your scenario, it's about another man *following* that scenario - the one who dates her next or who dates her when she decides to "settle down", while he was either struggling to date at all and was being "good" in not pressing for sex. It's about the presumption that men *always* press for sex, and the modern feminist thinking that builds from that assumption. That's the toxicity I'm pointing out, and who else (the next man) is losing there.
@@_sniper2305 Currently, for most young men, as in the 18-35 group, the situation is pretty bad. That "free and easy sex" is had by only the most attractive 20%. Generally, only the top 5% have it frequently with multiple partners. For the other 80% it often nothing at all. Once in a while, one of them gets married to a "settling down" woman hitting 30, and she treats him terribly compared to the guys that she couldn't get to settle down. These husbands are essentially being resented for not being in that top 20%.
I second that. Sniper2305 is correct. @erinbyrd5377 you're getting a lot of things right but you're still operating from a gynocentric mindset. Which should not come as a surprise seeing as you're a woman. But the reality is you're exploring this topic from the perspective of mitigating *self-inflicted* harm of women (via Feminism). I'm missing the male aspect in all of this. 1.) Most men nowadays *DO NOT* get easy sex in the West. Were that the case, the passport bro phenomenon wouldn't be near as big as it is now. -> A minority of men (top 5-10%) have a de facto sexual monopoly on the vast majority of women who are too foolish to understand that sex from a man doesn't mean the man will give them relationships. 2.) 90% of men are silently suffering the effects of systemic misandry, societal contempt, escalating injustice on every level and crushing (sexual) loneliness. I speak for these men because I care for these men. And it is they that are the true victims of feminism, not women. Women are responsible for this mess and they *will* be held to account for their collective actions.
Your initial reading of the first definition of the traits of 'toxic femininity' was a fairly comprehensive description of qualities which actually epitomize feminine "inner beauty." This was informative to me. I had only understood that the latter definition you discussed was considered "toxic." Women actually selected every single masculine trait that they find desirable by previous generations of women choosing such men, and have been doing so since, either God created us, or whenever we started being human men and women. Men have done the same for women.
Good video but I will also add some other descriptions to toxic femininity. Domineering, controlling, bossy and always wanting to be right. A lot of men put up with this behaviour and I have no idea why. Weak mind, weak heart?
This was a very insightful and organized presentation, my hats off to you! The way I see it Masculinity and femininity are societal ideas I feel have overstayed its welcome. The reality of the matter is men and women are not much different from each other. Should those biological and slight psychological differences be ignored? Of course not but I'm under the believe that convincing the general public the we should/are completely different from eachother will only further divide us. I believe there should be women who are aggressive, strong, and logical. As well as men who are compassionate, sensitive, and emotional. Their are traits that are better then others of course, but I believe the time has come for society to encourage growth as individuals.
This very ideology is a big contributor to the division. You don't think there are any implications to your behavior and psychology whether you have sperm or eggs? Eggs are scarce, pregnancy and lactation require obscene amount of investment. Sperm is abundant and require no investment, just a bit of fun time. So the female obviously has to be the sexual selector. That means there has to be some standards by which to measure men who are worthy to have sex with. She will want to save those scarce eggs ideally for good genes and someone who can provide the necessary resources and protection because she is infinitely more invested in the children. Those traits of compassion, sensitivity and emotional are not really conductive to that, they are either negative or neutral. At best they are good for making the man more willing to commit but they don't change the value of that commitment essentially being zero unless there are also the masculine traits that are actually valuable. Telling people we are the same seems to encourage them to cultivate traits in themselves that they would value in opposite sex, but it doesn't actually change the realities for the other sex and they will become very bitter and disappointed in the other sex. So do those things "you should do" (according to whom and why, why is this ideology even good?) at your own peril.
@@Clinueee I never said there weren't any differences in behavior between men and women, but it is very minimal at best. From the way you write it really makes it sound like you regard man and women as biological machines measuring every each other in every regard to see if they are worthy of mating. We're not talking about attraction here, that's a whole other ballpark. We're talking about the societal differences between masculinity and femininity, and why I think they are harmful for everybody. Masculinity and femininity do not exist in biological behavior for the most part, it is mostly societal standards we made up over 100's of years. Has it been working? Yeah sure at first when we were in the stone age. In recent centuries its only been causing a great divide between us, and even sexual confusion. I think these expectations for men and women need to go away and look more deeply into "who we are" instead of "what we are".
This is a feminine perspective on Toxic Feminity. A male perspective would include confusion over their social roles i.e. should they behave and think like a man or like a woman? Men are always being told they should contribute to the domestic chores, and very frequently I do. But I also have my own work to do keeping the house, garden, garage, and car well maintained and upgraded when things become tired and in need of modernization. There has been an explosion in young men wanting for gender re-assignment surgery to turn themselves into girlsorwomen. Also there are a growing number of women now providing sexual services as domenatrix's for men who are increasingly seeing themselves as sexually submissive. I myself was being sucked into this mindset when I came across your video on Why Matriarchy Will Never Succeed.(or something like that). This video I found very powerful as it released the Alpha Male in me that had become stultified and suppressed, from it's feminism bonds. I think my comment I left you expresses this to some small degree. It is for this reason that I now consider you my Primal Fetish. I hope you don't mind the raw-emotion behind this label? I now feel more like the old me. it feels like your words have set me free - Thank you.🦁🌺
The description of the "devouring mother" reminds me of my own mother. She did all of my essays and papers in junior high school. Then I had to go elsewhere for high school (long story). I had no idea how to write an essay or paper on my own and my grades sank from the As and A+s I got when she did the writing, to Cs and C+s. Eventually, I improved, but there's a lesson there. She wasn't quite as "devouring" has been described but...
I have a question. Who's more misogynistic? Toxic male who seeks to dominate women, or a feminist who says all forms of femininity is bad and weak and masculinity is good and strong?
Great content, somehow I thought I was crazy when I realised that women emotional bullying is unpunished in society because it leaves no physical scars. When they continuously do this, it eventually drives a man to madness and alcoholism. There are so many men abused emotionally and no one talks. Including some other toxic tactics when addressing real issues like deflecting, shaming, guilt tripping and crying to avoid the accountability. It even gets worse with tantrums, posting Whatsapp statuses to indirectly shame the man. Some go as far as beating their man and then scratching themselves claiming he did it. Me too movement is another tactic used by modern women to destroy powerful man especially when she cannot get what she wants. Some keep their kids away from their fathers then go online to claim dadbeat dads.
One thing that often gets overlooked is that while men are physically stronger, women are generally more robust than men; living longer and healthier lives (less prone to illness)
A porcelain teacup will survive longer than a stoneware mug. The teacup is not more robust than the mug. Stoneware is more robust than porcelain. The porcelain teacup outlives the stoneware mug because it's kept in the china cabinet rather than in the cupboard, it's reserved for special occasions rather than for everyday use, and its handled more delicately when it is used.
I don't try to tell women how to be feminine, and I'm damn tired of being told how to be masculine by women and men alike. Here's my take on how to be a man: be virtuous and be true to yourself. Seriously, thats it. Do good things in the world, and don't let others define you.
Most important part at the 25 minute mark. This is exactly why so many things are going wrong. At work I have worked with groups of women who work in policy prediction. The concept behind their work is that if you speak about scenarios, all scenarios can be documented and then the desirable scenario can be picked and policy can be made for it. This concept is entirely feminin in mature. Truth or future is not something that can be determined through communication. You can not petition the future by willing good. There may be a 100 further scenarios that arise from unexpected causes. Also, the likelihood of each individual scenario was completely neglected. It was much the same during the pandemic. Instead of determining the most likely future, the worst case was derived and policy was made for that. In our company, by the very same women.
13:50 Starbucks actually did this, to a degree, with coffee beans. Also, if you don't know The Authentic Observer, here on TH-cam, I think you'd like her channel. You two would be amazing interviewing each other. You're literally like a blend of my two favourite channels on youtube - Chase Joseph and The Authentic Observer!!!
I do like this video a lot. For example my sister was a toxic female and only after becoming a single mother that her demeanor changed into one more in balance and less destructive, she was a bad person before it. Totally different is sad what happen to her, but she deserve it as it was the only she could move out of it herself. In her own way and terms.
3:17 this isnt build a bear. We will get into the bear vs man topic at a later point. He who holds the power determines the rules. He with the power can play build a bear. The reason the ladies choose the bear is because they have been coddled in this matriarchy and have no understanding of real danger, so they see men as the only danger in their lives because they see bears as teddy bears. But its a two prong situation because they want nen who are beasts but also teddy bears for them, thats why they choose the bear. Its really just proves she is a child in an adult's body.
The irony is that the safest place for a woman is at home, with her husband and father of her children, but women do everything they can to destroy that.
@@bellagatto9670 exactly. The safest is next to her man. The one that chose her and gave her his commitment. But women have lost respect for that commitment because they no longer see what responsibilities they put on his shoulders when he chooses her. To protect her, the provide her with love and security. But she just sees him as a walking atm, or bodyguard or even a constant D appointment. But he is the one who chooses her because he controls who sits at his table and has power over if you are the situationship, the gf or the wifey.
Theres nothing wrong with traditional masculinity
There is NOTHING WRONG with masculinity.
Many, many women would feel a great relief to finally be allowed to voice the same opinion. I don't care what society says, because I'm Muslim, and people already call me "oppressed." They can kick rocks. Male energy is amazing! We teach our children (I've only got sons) that society is trying to get rid of them because it makes it easier to brainwash and control society without their energy. We've been teaching our sons this for nearly two decades. You should see how my boys react to the "girl boss knows everything without struggle, and shows up all men" trope in movies and books.
Male energy allows me to lean into my female energy. I work, but my motivation is to build my baby birds and our nest.
As long as it's actually traditional and not the renounced form that has been tailoured to industrial society.
@@niewiesznicwhen it turns into garbage entitlement and war mongering attitude it sure as hell is
Great contribution Josh thank you 🙏. Amazing
when 'men are people' is one of the nice things you've been told for a long time. and its not even directed at you
RIGHT!!!!?????
I felt that too
It hurts that this is the first time I heard this in all my life
Modern society doesn't treat men like people. It treats us like work tools. Everything feminists complain that girls are 'taught' apply equally to boys. I was taught in school to be quiet, obedient, meek, and submissive, to do what I was told (by a female authority mind you) when I was told, without consent or ability to bargain, and to become this in that abusive environment, I had to suppress everything that would later allow me to prosper (my creativity, joy, spontaneity, artistic desires and even individuality) which created anger and pressure within me.
I’m going to send this video to my daughter. There is more here than what most pastors ever talk about on a pulpit.
Thank you so much
I am an Evangelical pastor and have been for 46 years. It is one of my pet peeves that pastors tend to be oblivious regarding the things Erin is sharing. The irony is that if pastors would become better informed and focus on affirming men and fatherhood they could have a much higher impact. Unfortunately, many pastors are either just ignorant or, worse, intimidated by so-called "Christian Feminists."
@@RandallvanOosten-ln5wf How's your father's day sermon, especially compared to your mother's day sermon? I've not been to a church in years that didn't have a vicious, scolding father's day sermon, and the more the mother's day sermon heaped platitudes on women, the worse the father's day one was.
no wonder men would rather golf on that day.
@@RandallvanOosten-ln5wfpeople who have the position of teacher bear a moral obligation to teach truth to their students, even on topics that are uncomfortable or unpopular.
@@erinbyrd5377
Femininity is NEVER toxic. 💄
Feminism is ALWAYS toxic. ☠
I'm glad you mentioned Peterson. I once saw him say that women put people into one of 3 categories: 1. Infant 2. Caregiver(s) of Infants 3. Threat. This blew my mind because I see it everywhere. The infant doesn't necessarily have to be an actual infant but any person or group of people perceived as weak or at a disadvantage like maybe seniors or minority groups. The latest of which is the LGBTQs.
The women that do this stuff have placed themselves in the role of caregiver of infant and this gives them an ego boost, power, and a way to virtue signal. They also use this to control the behaviors of others especially men, who, if they don't go along with the caregiver of infants rules are run off and accused of being a threat. Far too many men cave in to this an end up acting like the white knight when really they have just become a trained dog of the caregiver of infants. And if a man rejects this position the woman quickly turns herself into the infant/victim and calls in higher authorities to act as caregiver of infant and take that man away or run him off.
And the really wild part about this is that if you explicitly told and expected these women to be the caregivers of infants, they would rebel and condemn the audacity of trying to "force her" into some "traditional patriarchal gender role". But when you just watch what they do, they appear to desperately want to be the caregivers of infants.
And one more tool that a lot of women use is plausible deniability to avoid accountability. But I've said enough.
Thanks for this video. It's about time women started speaking out and calling out the toxic behaviors of other women because they are not going to listen to a man discuss any of this. He instantly becomes the threat. They tried this with Jordan Peterson. He survived it but what chance does the average man have at standing up to the woke mob?
Thank you for this comment. You hit the nail on the head. There are so many contradictions in modern feminism, it makes me want to pull my hair out. Women have been told we can have it all, but we can't. We don't have unlimited time and so therefore, sacrifices must be made. Jordan Peterson talks a lot about making the right kind of sacrifices. If women want a lucrative career, they must sacrifice spending time taking care of children, but that urge to nurture becomes sublimated and can turn into abuse towards men and other women. I think it's time for women to wake up and realize that regret is one hell of a deterrent.
extremely insightful
Be careful with Jordan Peterson.
Even if he says some good advices, a lot of what he says is rooted in a political agenda and have been debunked multiple times. An example of this is the lobster.
I advise to double check every person that become millionnaire while pushing the agenda of the rich.
What an epiphany
Can't praise this comment enough.
Ok. I finally get it now.
Men actually behaving like men as nature intended = to be discouraged.
Women behaving like men = greatly encouraged.
Makes perfect sense.
Make it make sense 🙏 please
@@jeradblazek677 Social engineering. What all these modern trends have in common is they divide people and destroy the potential for strong family building/bonding. A goal of social engineers, not coincidence.
Under socialism all are equal under the overbearing power of the state, comrade!
Under capitalism all are equal under the overbearing power of the corporation, consumer!
And under Neoliberalism, you finally get to be properly equally crushed under the corporate-state merger, chattel!
this is how you destroy a country. Attack women, destroy the social fabric, import foreigners with aggressive men who then dominate with violence and numbers. The West fifty years ago was a heaven compared to this hellscape we have now with so much mental illness, division, emptiness. Its almost as if ancient civilizations had a reason behind not letting women run their nations... what a shock
@@ronofthesea5953but who has the motive and what is the motive? Don't worry, you don't need to answer here, just planting the seeds of questioning.
You did a great job. I haven’t seen this talked about much yet so I applaud you
I'd like to see more discourse about it.
@@erinbyrd5377 so would I! Good luck, hopefully this will take off and go viral
@@erinbyrd5377 As a man, one of the parts that speaks loudly to me is how men have not stepped into the traditional feminine roles the same way women have stepped into traditionally masculine roles. This phenomenon is easily observable and not fair to women in general. Many women use this point as a supporting argument as to why men need to "step up". HOWEVER, while it is true men have not taken on more traditionally feminine roles like women have taken up masculine ones, I am glad Erin Byrd did not ignore why this is the case. Men ARE NOT celebrated for filling these feminine roles the same way women are for occupying masculine positions. THIS MATTERS! Another phenomenon we all can observe is how stay-at-home dads, male nurses, and other men who hold historically feminine positions are treated (particularly how they're treated by women). The same women who claim they would love it if men cooked, cleaned, and took on more domestic duties continuously do not choose men who do so. Many women do not see these men as "real" men and we (men) KNOW this. This is a massive reason why domestic division of labor is so skewed. Not the only reason but a major contributor.
You're a great role model. I've tried to say similar things but got identified as a 'pick me' girl.
The person who called you that was probably just mad bc you're smarter than them. 😊
Women don't like scabs: anyone from outside or who won't follow the herd lead, or won't go along with the mean girl clique to ostracize the target. These days, that's men at large. They're especially hateful towards women overseas who are feminine and not infected with this destructive, marxist mind virus known as 'feminism'.
FR girls who sleep around are pickmeshas.
I'd agree with Erin here!
Maybe they didn’t identify you. Maybe they mis-labeled you. ❤
Sometimes people attack someone who offends them.
Years later someone will "discover" this video and wonder aloud why no one listened to it's warnings
Wonder why she didn't know yet that a dream catcher is an occupy device.
This has been known for centuries. Read the bible
@@jackdeniston6150 as someone who reads the Bible, your comment makes no sense in relation to my original comment, thanks
@@ninjetti9898 why? he means there are similar warnings in the bible. sure there are a differences in wording and situations but meaning is the same
@@glutenfrei628 that comment still doesn't apply because of how easily and repeatedly the Bible is taken out of context. A blanket reading of the Bible alone will not align perfectly with the contents of this video
I am missing this kind of very thorough analysis in the dominant media. Great to hear a woman with her two feet on the ground of reality, analyse what is going wrong with our society. I am totally delighted.
I'm convinced the 'fur baby' craze in the younger generations is primarily driven by misplaced maternal instincts. Great video!
Absolutely!
1000%
The same can be said for social justice.
Erin, You are such a finely-tuned, sensible and intelligent person. It is refreshing to hear someone speak so clearly and truthfully. You seem beyond your years. I sincerely hope that young and older alike will listen to your message. The level of imbalance, confusion today on all fronts has caused such great unhappiness and violence of mind - young people not understanding the most basic things - what they are, who they are, how they function. Thank you for your efforts.
Omg, THANK YOU! I've been saying this for years now! I feel so vindicated! Thank you so much for making this! I've been arguing about this very stuff and making these very points with a friend of mine! its insane! I'm not crazy! 🙏
This video hit all the marks! Thank you! Having traditional imigrant parents, I had a hard time understanding why my mom implied on teaching me about femininity and gender roles but I'm so glad that's my upbringing. I was able to catch up to the sabotage of feminism and capitalism especially when I experienced the harms of hookup culture and noticed the odd hate for feminine qualities. I found that I enjoyed falling into more traditional gender rolls, wanted a family and to prioritize raising my children well more than a career. I still have a degree and I know that I'm competent in many ways but I have no desire to compete with men.
Implied = insisted??
Wow. I’m now obsessed with your channel. You put into words things I’ve sensed, struggled against and been bitter towards my whole life.
Very well thought out, fairly viewed and insightful.
Going to the gym in what's essentially underwear for attention, secretly filming men glancing in their direction, then posting it online, accusing the men of wrongdoing - for more attention.
Making herself look like an object of desire, and making the men look like perverts.
@@erinbyrd5377 Only an *asshole* thinks of male sexuality as perverse.
Vanity, one of the characteristics of femininity
@@nerychristian Men can be vain as well. I've met humble women.
I think they do it due to the need of attention/validation and need to be desired. They are in a male dominated setting, testosterone pumping
They are basically naked and you can see EVERYTHING (shamelessly), in hopes to record men they find attractive checking them out and maybe they come to their aid or ask them out(for validation, sex and desire). Unattractive men are considered creeps but she still secretly loves the attention.
It is as if they are in heat and peacocking to attract attractive fit men full of testosterone, but hide under the disguise of doing exercise for social media
Great take, very grounded, humble and wise. Personally, I'm not a fan of the "toxic" label for masculinity or femininity as neither is inherently toxic, but rather can have corrosive antisocial effects when operating from a wounded or otherwise insecure place - which is all too common today. It's important for us as men and women to reclaim the divine nature of our birthrights and move away from zero-sum antagonism. Thank you for sticking up for masculinity and doing such a wonderful job articulating the strengths of femininity
This was an absolute beautiful explanation all the way around thank you
You're very welcome ☺️
Okay, my brain hurts from learning so much in 30 minutes. Really great insights. Thanks.
"Toxic masculinity" isn't really a thing. It's simply a label women put on masculine behavior that inconveniences or does not immediately benefit any individual women or the sisterhood in general. Similarly, "toxic femininity" cannot exist separate from the corrupting influence of feminism.
It's just poo flinging and 'othering'. Categorizing men en-masse as 'not people' who interests, needs and opinions aren't worth consideration, or worse, actively undermined at every opportunity.
I would go even further. It not even an indicate of masculine behavior. Just people acting in a way they don't like. The terms are so vague and more impressions of a gender that exist in someone head than real life discernable virtues. Becvause even when people label them, you are really getting the description of an archtype. Which is far more just trying to adhere someone to be like that archtype of a person that leans towards said archtype.
Be yourself. Screw everything else. The same is true in inverse for toxicity. Toxicity, entitlement, narcissism are all just pigeon hole impression terms that can be applied to anyone reductively enough with bad faith. It's a internet moral grandstanding gesture that sastifies the crowds need to have the right for social bullying/ judgement, nothing else.
Because if they rely on other names or traits they'd have to actually...you know. Say something confirmable or a judgement with anything displayable - such as being a hypocrite or being easy to anger - but it also gives a psuedo-sense of intellectual venure where in the past if you just called someone a slur like in the wild net days, you're passing judgement but openly just going "yeah. I don't like you and I'm not going to pretend there's some ivory prestige to it. You're a X"
Instead of talking about "toxic masculinity" or "toxic femininity", we should be talking about masculine or feminine toxicity. What would these be? These are fairly summed in the "Curse of Adam" and the "Curse of Eve" in the Garden of Eden story:
"To the woman also he said: I will multiply thy sorrows, and thy conceptions: in sorrow shalt thou bring forth children, and thou shalt be under thy husband's power, and he shall have dominion over thee. And to Adam he said: Because thou hast hearkened to the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee, that thou shouldst not eat, cursed is the earth in thy work: with labour and toil shalt thou eat thereof all the days of thy life."
When we avoid the feminine curse or the masculine curse, we die. Literally: toxicity. Feminine toxicity is avoiding the pains of motherhood and disrespecting the authority of the husband. Masculine toxicity is avoidance of work. If either sex avoids its curse, the humans die; something that causes death is called "toxicity"; each curse is gendered specifically; therefore masculine/feminine toxicity.
The femininely toxic is the "feminist". The masculinely toxic is the "couch potato".
"Toxic Masculinity" is just a man trying to meet the expectations of the gender roles that women place on them.
Erin, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic. You presented your points thoroughly and clearly in a way that was engaging and easy for me to follow. ❤
I think one of the most difficult things of being a good parent is gradually letting your children be more independent and allow them to develop self reliance. I think some parents struggle with that as it goes against their urge to protect their children
Absolutely, and it's hard to know the right amount of freedom you should give them.
That’s the reason why fathers are necessary. Fathers discipline their wives to let their children experience the world. Single mothers fail in that regard miserably. That is one of the reasons why fathers AND mothers are necessary.
Parents need to remember that they are not immortal. They won't always be there to ensure that their child makes good choices. Rather than make all the child's choices for them (although the parents will have to make some choices for the child, especially when the child is young), the parents need to teach the child how to make good choices on their own
Good luck to you Erin. Hope you channel grows. I like thoughtful analysis.
Excellent. A woman who understands what being a woman is. Solid.
It's why relationships work. You must have a degree of contrast. You must accept and embrace your strengths individually.
Erin, I just recently discovered your channel. You are a breath of fresh air... With perfume ❤️
You made a comment about it "not being a buffet" (when picking and choosing the masculine traits in a man) and then said something about it not being Ponderosa.
Since I'd never heard of Ponderosa/Bonanza steak houses, I interpreted this to mean the recent TikTok phenomenon of unattractive, delusional women who imagine themselves to be perfect 10's, praising themselves and then dissing the real men they've recently met who either did (or didn't) ask them out ...as disgustingly far beneath them. It's very cringeworthy.
So naturally, I pictured an entitled, mean-spirited, toxic woman with an imaginary picture-menu of the **entrees** she "really deserves", attractively presented to Her Royal Highness with professionally photographed headshots of the cast of Bonanza:
Lorne Greene
Pernell Roberts
Dan Blocker
Michael Landon
Guy Williams
David Canary
Mitch Vogel
Tim Matheson
... Etc
😂
I might point out that most of these guys are dead. But that's not why they wouldn't ask her for a date. 😂
Keep it up Erin... You've got excellent form, and we need people like you to speak up! You'll go far... good luck!
I had a few good decades. I feel sorry for young guys today, now women don’t even think they have to try. Now I invest my energies elsewhere and live alone, it’s nice to see the results pay off and to live without the chaos.
I'm glad that this was in my recommends and I subscribed. Yours is the first treatment of Toxic Femininity that I have seen that did not try to present it as just a byproduct of Toxic Masculinity but rather discussed it as something that is capable of existing on it's own, entirely separate from Toxic Masculinity.
Over the years, I have frequently seen women behave horribly to other women, as have nearly all men who are paying attention. These women are typically awful to men as well, but they use an entirely separate 'toolkit' for that. Women's toxic behavior towards other women looks very different from their toxic behavior towards men.
Where Feminism comes into the mix, the issue is that we are told that it is for all women yet I have seen women be treated badly within Feminist circles simply because of a difference of opinion on certain issues, as if a woman no longer qualifies as a woman simply for thinking differently. The first time that I saw this was when I was in college. I knew one couple who were devout Christians and were planning to get married right after graduation. One semester, she decided to enroll in a Women's Studies 101 class to fulfill either a Social Sciences or Humanities elective that she needed. She said at the time that she thought that would be an interesting way to fulfill that elective requirement, sitting in a room with other women discussing the history of women and that she was looking forward to it.
Fast forward a few months to the end of that semester. He and I are sitting together laughing as she described in graphic detail just how thrilled she was to be finished with that class and how horrible it was! She said that, as a woman who was heterosexual, Christian, politically moderate on most issues and planning to get married after college that she was frequently singled out and treated with hostility by the other students in the class and on a couple of occasions even by the professor! He and I raised our fists in the air and said, "Solidarity sister!" That didn't go over well...
Isn't it funny how feminism is supposed to be good for women when in reality it's the complete opposite? Feminists say they care about women's issues and then turn around and torment women who don't think like they do. In academia, the minds of young women are turned against men and pumped full of lies. I appreciate your comment, and it's disappointing to hear what happened to your friend in that women's studies class. I hope the lies of feminism become exposed and that women will one day wake up.
That's just a shitty learning environment for any1, whether they're conservative traditional housewives or anarcho-feminist protesters with facial piercings and blond dreadlocks (just a cliche i know)
Your intellectual discourse and argumentation is impressive. You must be very well read and knowledgeable in these subjects. I enjoy listening to your videos.
Greetings from Denmark, and hope all is well :)
As a man who had the struggle to find a woman who even wants to be a mother someday and at least be quite decent at that - not in America, but in the similar minded Germany - the only reasonable option for me was to give up that hope and just focus on myself. Just thinking of having kids someday seems to be a red flag for most woman these days... When I get asked why I have this mindset, i proudly tell them: I am a strong and independent woman!
I really appreciate your insights. Your words are applicable also here and probably in many other places as well.
I have much respect for you as a woman and as a content creator. Thank you for caring about men!
Another great analysis. Thank you. Masculinity? Masculinity? How about the three men who protected their girlfriends at the Dark Knight Rises shooting in Aurora Colorado? And died. Literally taking the bullet for their girlfriends. By all accounts, the men did not ponder or deliberate or prevaricate. They acted instinctively. I tear up every time I think about their bravery.
I was in a distantly similar situation once while out for a walk with my 12 year old son. A large, vicious dog (large = 80-100 pounds more or less) escaped his pen and lunged at us to attack. I instinctively pushed my son behind me and faced the dog. I unbuttoned my coat and spread the drape to look bigger and I charged that dog. We had a stand-off until the owner came-and I called the police.
Erin, your videos are absolutely on fire! Very refreshing analysis.
I’m thankful for you making these videos. Great information and being able to put words to all the things I perceive as troublesome but had no way to describe them.
I’m binging on your channel right now. You’re so good!
Traditional masculine traits made our world. Rebranding it as 'toxic' is just the feminist's way of attacking the traditional roles played by men. There is nothing toxic about it other than the fact that it opposes the doctrines of feminism. As a boy who grew up into a man with clear expectations of what a man is or does, I don't see anything toxic about it. Is it the stress associated with meeting the expectations? I dealt with it naturally. What are the feminists actually concerned with? I have seen attempts by feminists to conflate masculinity with bullying and call bullying toxic masculinity. Bullying has nothing to do with masculinity. There are just as many female bullies as male bullies. Even women who combat femininity often talk about toxic masculinity as the root cause of toxic femininity. This is not true.
Well constructed and good. Though I think there's a missing element when discussing toxic femininity that most people overlook.
If "Toxic Masculinity" is "male traits gone too extreme and bad" then the trait I think of most that would be toxic femininity would be over-supportiveness. This is *kind* of like the devouring mother element, but more generalized and it is how women affect other women in a toxic way without being duplicitous or conniving necessarily.
Because think of all the women who support other women even though those women are doing unhealthy or negative things. Women supporting others is one of the most feminine traits I can think of, and one of the main reason we as men love women. There's nothing like a woman's support. But a woman who supports someone even when they do something wrong or bad is providing aid and comfort at the wrong time, to the wrong person and thus encourages their negative behavior.
The women who support the "healthy at any size" activism despite it causing harm to proponents and those that join them, the mother or wife who supports her criminal son or lover who commits crimes despite the harm the criminal does to the community, the mother who supports their child taking life altering hormones even though it's obviously a fad and in a medical fashion trend and likely regrets will come later . . . all are signs of a natural and healthy feminine trait being taken too far and misused because there's no judiciousness applied to the support. I suppose you could call it something along those lines: Injudicious Support, or Amoral Emotional Support or something along those lines.
Again, I suppose this falls into the "Devouring mother" territory because most of the examples I can think of are mothers supporting their children in ways that harm their child or society at large, but I see it often enough with women supporting other women in negative ways where I don't think the women offering support are purposefully sabotaging those other women as rivals. They're just incapable of seeing how their tendency to offer emotional aid and comfort is encouraging a negative behavior.
In regards to toxic masculinity.. there is a difference between suppression emotions and having self control. Self control enables you to behave in a civil society. Caving to every emotion leaves you feral and doing bad things to yourself and others. This is especially important for men because of their physical size and ability.
There are many things that were engraved into and pass down from generation to generation that were part of society because it enabled a mostly successful society. Yes, it wasn't perfect, but it generally worked. When the 60s came and everything switched from generational based knowledge to scientific knowledge in the general society, we lost all of that. It has taken 2 generations for science to start to prove that some of what was done in the past was actually good for society. It took thousands of years for society to learn this before. All thrown away only to be rediscovered again.
I'd suggest that the source of "Toxic Masculinity" is the women who chose to raise sons without their father in their life, leaving them with a hatefully drawn caricature to base their view of an adult man on.
This is one of the best videos (I wanted to say the best but don't want to offend other creators) on the internet 🙌
Good, well thought out and presented video tackling a problem in a society that has skewed values and a broken moral compass. I like that you avoided the blame game to a degree and kept to the facts where important. The MGTOW movement has come as a response to toxic femininity and we see ourselves in a battle that neither side wanted. The feminist movement has been distorted over time to mean something completely different to that its founders created it for. Equality has become a buzzword for corporations and those wanting to change a society that worked into one that solely focuses on profit and big business. It is no coincidence that corporations have diluted the workforce by creating "opportunities" ( for want of a better word ) that attract women into the workplace to fulfil their subliminal messaging that women need more power than they had before the sexual revolution. Wages have been depressed to a point that most live hand to mouth because there isn't enough workplaces to go around to satisfy the needs of men let alone women. Traditional roles in the workplace can now be filled by any gender and making equality laws has even made it that business can now pick and choose and use the excuse of quotas to get away with it.
If women were to move out of the workforce, would the remaining men make more money? I think it's pretty obvious that women aren't happy today, with the divorce rate being so high. They have to work full time jobs and pay daycare centers to raise their kids. No wonder so many of them are miserable.
@@erinbyrd5377 I want to also avoid the blame game here. Men are walking away from women for different reasons. Throughout history from the dawn of mankind men have provided for and protected women because it is in their DNA. Men are stronger for this reason. It is literally what they were built to do and has been ingrained in them passed from father to son forever. You cannot just reverse that paradigm without consequence. In answer to your question, yes men would be paid more in a society that recognised that each gender were built for a specific purpose. Supply and demand comes into play where it used to be that corporations vied for and begged for qualified men to work for them. This has been reversed by flooding the job market with available labour in the form of women.
@@erinbyrd5377 I wrote a whole lengthy reply to this but pressed a wrong button and lost it all lol. So here goes again. I want to avoid the blame game here as well. By flooding the market with available labour corporations can and do profit from this by keeping wages low whereas it used to be they vied for qualified men to fill these roles and were willing to pay for it. So yes men would be paid more if women stepped away from those roles traditionally held by men. Men were literally built to provide and protect women, it's in their DNA and passed from father to son from the dawn of mankind. They had to be stronger to protect their family from dangerous animals and hunt to provide for their mate and children. You cannot play with that paradigm and hope there to be no consequence. Men are walking away for different reasons but I think the main one is that their is no more necessity to provide and protect yet women still expect it because it is a woman's DNA. And fair enough. She provides a service to him in sex and offspring and making a home ( his legacy if you like ) and he reciprocates the only way he knows how and is expected to do so by his very genetics. It was always a fair deal.
@@andreparadis6076 "you can't play with that paradigm and hope there will be no consequences". You're totally right. I hear what you're saying about avoiding blame, because people can't help but to conform to their societies, but the ball is actually in women's court. Women are the ones who can change all this.
Considering that the founders of NOW were toxic, lesbian marxists (Kate Millett, et al), their point was to change the culture, by destroying men, by destroying the family, via promiscuity, eroticism, homosexualty, abortion and divorce. Equality was just the public facing rationalization for it. The goal was to destroy the family and make women dependent on the state, instead, so they'd vote for marxism. I'd say that they're succeeding in their initial goals quite well.
Another excellent video. You're an asset to the human race and it's brilliant how you can be a stay at home mum but bless the whole world, through TH-cam, with your knowledge and wisdom. I think I'm becoming a massive fan.
@@straagzthemc4614 Thank you for the kind words
@@erinbyrd5377 it's the least I can do for the holy gift of knowledge and wisdom.
THANK YOU FOR PUTTING THOSE TWO WORDS TOGETHER FINALLY!!
Interestingly, "toxic masculinity" as it is defined by feminists can basically be captured via the latent construct of Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) and, to a lesser extent, via Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) (or comorbidity between both psychopathologies).
I wish not to comment on the strawman that represents "toxic feminity" since it is not all that clear to me that women ought to be subservient, but there are a few interesting ideas that we can point out.
First, while we would expect toxic feminity to be the counter-pendant of toxic masculinity, that is the feminine manifestation cluster B traits, de facto, the feminist's definition of toxic feminity is basically a bourgeois attack on traditional feminity, if I may borrow the idea to Mary Harrington (see notably her interview on Modern Wisdom and Triggernometry).
Second, it is also interesting to consider that the ideal of empowered women, colloquially referred to as "boss b****", strangely looks close to the attitude, character, and behavior we would expect in moderately to highly narcissistic men...
Finally, it is interesting to note the sleight of hand from the tenors of the feminist movement simultaneously shaming both men and women while internalizing men's worst personality traits in order to feel powerful, which suggests both a propensity for Machiavelism and narcissism as defined in the dark triad.
Now, considering that all dark triad traits are significantly, positively, and moderately to strongly correlated with one another (.34 to .58), according to a meta-analysis (Muris et al., 2017, p. 188), it should come as no surprise that such women would bully other women (which could be either a manifestation of psychopathy and/or sadism).
In any case, I agree with J. B. Peterson when he calls for more research on female anti-social behaviors (and symptoms of depression in men).
References:
Crocq, M.-A. et Guelfi, J.-D. (2015). DSM-5: manuel diagnostique et statistique des troubles mentaux (5e éd). Elsevier Masson.
Muris, P., Merckelbach, H., Otgaar, H. et Meijer, E. (2017). The Malevolent Side of Human Nature: A Meta-Analysis and Critical Review of the Literature on the Dark Triad (Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy). Perspectives on Psychological Science, 12(2), 183‑204.
Paulhus, D. L. et Williams, K. M. (2002). The dark triad of personality: narcissism, machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Journal of Research in Personality, 36(6), 556‑563.
I really enjoy your content as a fellow female infp! P.s love your art work choices 😊
Appreciate your insight and willingness to talk about these current subjects with an open mind and willingness to understand.
Id be interested to hear your take on Esther Vilar's book "The Manipulated Man".
The world needs more Traditional Masculinity. For our children's sake.
I talk a lot about this in dutch on tiktok, but most woman dont want to hear ittttttttttt 😂. I know them very well. I expose every dirty secret and they hate me for it haha.
You have such good logical commentary. We appreciate it. ❤
Feminism should be called Manism!
Spot on I think and this video was another great one and it's the second of yours I've watched.
So incredible to see even the definition of toxic femininity point a subtle finger back to it actually being about toxic men for condemning women to such passive characteristics. There, once again, we can see the deep extent of gynocentrism that runs through our society which is never spoken about or admitted especially by women. To admit to being the protected species with the intolerable.
Thank you and I think you are a great contribution to the space.
Thank you so much for your compassion and understanding towards men and for being so brave to speak truthfully about these issues🙏🏼
Feminism in a nutshell= Women should be given a chance to rule the world
The best word for it is Feminazi. 😉
As a dude who gave up on the regular path, everything you have said is correct
I'm glad I found this page. You just earned a subscriber.
Growing up as a kid in the 1970s I used to consider feminism a good thing because the world was unbalanced and unfair. Once in the workplace I (working in offices where I was often the only man, or one of 2 men, in communications ) saw at first hand how the women I worked with genuinely felt that women were better than men. In other words, feminism was not about equal, it was about superiority.
I disagree with female superiority same why I disagreed with male superiority in the 1970s, simply because I still bel that men and women are equal. Neither is superior and the world needs both in equal measure.
Men and women should be TREATED equally. But they are not equal and we all know and can see that.
So nice to hear! And from an American, too. Well, of course from an American. In most other countries, these points go without saying. The state of femininity in America is a disaster. I hope they will all hear you; they desperately need to hear you. Lord knows I have tried to promote sound philosophy but I'm just a white man of European heritage, so what do I know....
"where are all the victims of cooperation and politeness?" made me spit food out of my mouth.😆
you are very funny in a great way! keep up the great talks. really enjoyed your series!!!
I think toxic femininity and masculinity are self-centered conduct expressed in different forms. As a tomboy, I have strong natural affinity for certain masculine traits and don't consider them bad in themselves.
School was a lonely place for me. The boys left me alone, while one of the girls made me a target. I can agree that such conduct went unaddressed.
Thank you for standing up for shame.
Hi! This was a fantastic video, thank you for putting it together. As a small suggestion: it would be interesting - if you're willing to make a video about it or even briefly answer here - to learn more about the life path you've taken or, maybe more specifically, the beliefs or experiences that have led you to hold the views that you do. In a digital world consumed by the gender wars, it's rare to hear anyone speak in a critical, detached, non-partisan way about "their own side." Personally, I'd love to learn more about how you've arrived where you have.
It’s a funny mental image at 28:24 of sweet little Erin shoving old people out of the way at the grocery store. I suspect it’s an exaggeration for storytelling effect. 😂
I seriously love the way she delivers that almost deadpan, I'm imagining a quiet INFP just assuming her place in line..... maybe ahead of a few and pretending not to know there were other humans in the store :D
Great wisdom and insights. Thank you.
Again, great work, Erin. If you have not read Joyce F. Benenson's "Warriors and Worriers: The Survival of the Sexes", I highly recommend it. It contains a huge amount of data regarding research done on sexual dimorphism. What she shows is the differences between the sexes is larger than most people realize and developed as separate survival strategies.
I've been trying to figure out why we seem to be suffering from divisive ideologies that make both men and women unhappy, and I'm glad to have found someone able to go dig deeper. If you're a parent looking out for your son or daughter, it's almost a necessity to figure out a proper theory of success that won't backfire for them, and to carefully guide them. This post modern world is not easy to navigate as either man or woman. Here's to hoping we can keep up with the technological impacts and cultural norms that seem to make life harder.
Excellent content! 👍🏻 Cristal clear concepts explained with pin point accurasy. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Great video. I would nitpick the part about traditional masculinity but overall great job. I love the straight intellectual approach without the emotional or political baggage that almost always accompanies this topic
You may have already done this but a video about EXACTLY how you woke up to responsibility would be a helpful video topic.
I can imagine sharing this hypothetical link any time a woman displays a lack of accountability or ability to admit fault...
Adding "femininity" or "masculinity" to "toxic" is not necessary. People showing toxic behaviour are just that - toxic people. Making it about a category of people is nothing but diversion by design - to shift focus on the differences, instead of the actual problem. Toxic people should be called out for what they do, not for what they are.
Where youre right but theres huge demographic of particular toxic behaviour prevalant in both the genders
it started primarily as a way for shitty women to use their female shaming tactics against men, because in all aspects and ages of life men tend to be physical and women emotional.
this is true in the school yard, in the type of jobs people choose (men physical jobs, women caretaker roles) but also for bullying and violence.
now, they'll use the same old tropes. your an incel, you live in mums basement, you have a small pp, you didnt satisfy her in bed, etc.
You're a very sweet lady to be saying all this
Wonderful insight !
Erin tell us how to be mature as a woman in today's world , it is really not simple since my mother was never around as i was a kid , and now im struggling to identify healthy people and how to be a healthy woman. And also since everyone wants you to have a career and work outside when you don't want to go outside that much.
That was superb. I've been hearing these things in various degrees from the MGTOW community since 2013, but never so cogently and persuasively from a woman. I loved your comments about discounted meat.
GirlWritesWhat used to be extremely famous, especially her early essays.
There was another girl (some sort of farmer girl), her essays were amazing, but she was threatened/bullied & left youtube.
Well, some identify themselves as MRAs:
Errin Pizzey is an amazing woman. She created the "first" women's refuge... Some of her interviews just mindblowing.
Of course some academics like Christina Sommers & Janice Fiamengo....
They called mgtow losers 10 years ago. Now they are using the exact mind set of mgtow but just relabeled it as alpha etc etc and post videos of it on tik tok and TH-cam to overwhelming support from men….
Funny that.
Hi and thankyou for your thoughtful words! I really, deeply and with my whole heart appreciate you concentrating on what you say, not filling your videos with gimmicks and whatever bling-bling there might be available. You, and your room, look like what you are saying. And I want to say that you are very beautiful just as you are there. Beautiful and convincing.
This is the third of fourth videos of your I have watched. I am happy about your points of view. However, not being very masculine but still a man, I'd like to hear you saying something that softens the difference between stereotypical men and women. I know, these stereotypes are necessary for speaking about sexes or gender. And I don't say that you should somehow soften these differences of sexes in every sentence. It would be tiring and even harming your presentation. But I'd like to hear some notions about sexes being a continuum, not fundamental oppositions, because then there is no place for me! And yes, as far as I can understand, most of us like belonging to sex they belong to. They don't have specific reasons to express not fitting in their gender. Or sex. But I do, and here I see the danger of exaggerating the opposite. Now, feminism, as we know it, is going to fail. It don't work for the reasons you express. It still does not mean that the exact and extreme opposite will work better. Look at Russia, for example...
Speaking of sex as currency or something like that: women do have their own sexual needs. It is the manifestation of the need to reproduce of our species. It gives them, as well as us, pleasure and satisfaction. These two things are connected to sexuality. If they have sex with someone during a first date, the reason might be that they want to keep that man, but also, that they want to have sex.
I am in my fifties and miserably lost everything a decent man should achieve. So, having lots of time for nothing, I have red about dying people's thoughts (and several other things). Mainly, they are not too interested in their economic or social victories. The things they are happy about are their families and long time friends. I am not saying that a young person, having decades to live, should be like a dying great-grand-mother-or-father. But we should remember, that when the winds of politics, economics or weather systems change, our fortune can disappear in a moment. What we need, and are thankful for then, are the close people. Understanding this is the precise reason for my father seeing his life worth living during the deep depression here in the early nineties. There were lots of wealthy enterpreneurs who died either by suicide or just falling very ill due to the loss of everything material they believed in.
So, while not thinking precisely like you, I think you are very realistic and wise. And once again, I like your calm way of speaking. And a funny detail: living in a place where the mercury can drop to -30°C, dogs really need sweaters! Living next to wild wolves, I could think about offering them a safe and warm place for the coldest nights and see if they like it, though not our living room!
15:11 "... the ideology of feminism prevailed which told women and girls that in order to be equal women needed to start having sex like men treating it like any other social interaction. Since that time sexual expectations have changed under the pretense that there are no longer consequences of having sex even though in reality that's not true. In today's society, a lot of young girls and women think their virginity is a burden that they must get rid of because they want to fit in with their peers. The problem is that sex is now cheap and easy to get and the group that suffers from this state of affairs is women."
Actually, the bigger loser is the men who never recieved that sex anyway, but decided to "play by the rules". Societal ridicule for them and their situation is off the charts. Sex is not "cheap and easy to get" for all men ... this is a major "red pill" point.
15:54 "... women have lost their only real power in the world."
The fact that you quoted it as a "power" speaks to this loss by those men. It's one of the consequences of having that sex that isn't being mentioned.
If a man and a woman go on a first date, and they have sex, and the man never speaks to her again, that's considered a win for the man, but it's a painful loss for the woman.
@erinruhl5377 A lot of modern feminist thinking is to erase the pain of any loss for that woman - basically, to redefine "loss" to "gain". And that's a lot of what your video goes over, when you say her friends are talking her into getting rid of her virginity and/or sleep around.
My argument is not about the man in your scenario, it's about another man *following* that scenario - the one who dates her next or who dates her when she decides to "settle down", while he was either struggling to date at all and was being "good" in not pressing for sex. It's about the presumption that men *always* press for sex, and the modern feminist thinking that builds from that assumption. That's the toxicity I'm pointing out, and who else (the next man) is losing there.
@@_sniper2305 Currently, for most young men, as in the 18-35 group, the situation is pretty bad. That "free and easy sex" is had by only the most attractive 20%. Generally, only the top 5% have it frequently with multiple partners. For the other 80% it often nothing at all. Once in a while, one of them gets married to a "settling down" woman hitting 30, and she treats him terribly compared to the guys that she couldn't get to settle down. These husbands are essentially being resented for not being in that top 20%.
I second that. Sniper2305 is correct.
@erinbyrd5377 you're getting a lot of things right but you're still operating from a gynocentric mindset. Which should not come as a surprise seeing as you're a woman.
But the reality is you're exploring this topic from the perspective of mitigating *self-inflicted* harm of women (via Feminism). I'm missing the male aspect in all of this.
1.) Most men nowadays *DO NOT* get easy sex in the West. Were that the case, the passport bro phenomenon wouldn't be near as big as it is now.
-> A minority of men (top 5-10%) have a de facto sexual monopoly on the vast majority of women who are too foolish to understand that sex from a man doesn't mean the man will give them relationships.
2.) 90% of men are silently suffering the effects of systemic misandry, societal contempt, escalating injustice on every level and crushing (sexual) loneliness.
I speak for these men because I care for these men. And it is they that are the true victims of feminism, not women. Women are responsible for this mess and they *will* be held to account for their collective actions.
@@_sniper2305 not only does each 'next man' lose, but all of her children do, too, regardless of whom she has them with.
Your initial reading of the first definition of the traits of 'toxic femininity' was a fairly comprehensive description of qualities which actually epitomize feminine "inner beauty." This was informative to me. I had only understood that the latter definition you discussed was considered "toxic." Women actually selected every single masculine trait that they find desirable by previous generations of women choosing such men, and have been doing so since, either God created us, or whenever we started being human men and women. Men have done the same for women.
Thoughtful & interesting
Girl your channel is going to blow up if you keep putting out these based takes 🎉
“This is not a buffet,
This is not ponderosa”😂
Well put, all success to you.
Good video but I will also add some other descriptions to toxic femininity.
Domineering, controlling, bossy and always wanting to be right. A lot of men put up with this behaviour and I have no idea why. Weak mind, weak heart?
Your videos are excellent. I hope you gain many more subscribers.
Love it, hope your platform grows.
This was a very insightful and organized presentation, my hats off to you! The way I see it Masculinity and femininity are societal ideas I feel have overstayed its welcome. The reality of the matter is men and women are not much different from each other. Should those biological and slight psychological differences be ignored? Of course not but I'm under the believe that convincing the general public the we should/are completely different from eachother will only further divide us. I believe there should be women who are aggressive, strong, and logical. As well as men who are compassionate, sensitive, and emotional. Their are traits that are better then others of course, but I believe the time has come for society to encourage growth as individuals.
This very ideology is a big contributor to the division. You don't think there are any implications to your behavior and psychology whether you have sperm or eggs? Eggs are scarce, pregnancy and lactation require obscene amount of investment. Sperm is abundant and require no investment, just a bit of fun time. So the female obviously has to be the sexual selector. That means there has to be some standards by which to measure men who are worthy to have sex with.
She will want to save those scarce eggs ideally for good genes and someone who can provide the necessary resources and protection because she is infinitely more invested in the children. Those traits of compassion, sensitivity and emotional are not really conductive to that, they are either negative or neutral. At best they are good for making the man more willing to commit but they don't change the value of that commitment essentially being zero unless there are also the masculine traits that are actually valuable.
Telling people we are the same seems to encourage them to cultivate traits in themselves that they would value in opposite sex, but it doesn't actually change the realities for the other sex and they will become very bitter and disappointed in the other sex. So do those things "you should do" (according to whom and why, why is this ideology even good?) at your own peril.
@@Clinueee I never said there weren't any differences in behavior between men and women, but it is very minimal at best. From the way you write it really makes it sound like you regard man and women as biological machines measuring every each other in every regard to see if they are worthy of mating. We're not talking about attraction here, that's a whole other ballpark. We're talking about the societal differences between masculinity and femininity, and why I think they are harmful for everybody. Masculinity and femininity do not exist in biological behavior for the most part, it is mostly societal standards we made up over 100's of years. Has it been working? Yeah sure at first when we were in the stone age. In recent centuries its only been causing a great divide between us, and even sexual confusion. I think these expectations for men and women need to go away and look more deeply into "who we are" instead of "what we are".
There is "off the reservation" and there is...this.
@@mrsherwood2599 Care to explain what you mean?
@@mickmack810 I do not.
This is a feminine perspective on Toxic Feminity. A male perspective would include confusion over their social roles i.e. should they behave and think like a man or like a woman? Men are always being told they should contribute to the domestic chores, and very frequently I do. But I also have my own work to do keeping the house, garden, garage, and car well maintained and upgraded when things become tired and in need of modernization.
There has been an explosion in young men wanting for gender re-assignment surgery to turn themselves into girlsorwomen. Also there are a growing number of women now providing sexual services as domenatrix's for men who are increasingly seeing themselves as sexually submissive. I myself was being sucked into this mindset when I came across your video on Why Matriarchy Will Never Succeed.(or something like that). This video I found very powerful as it released the Alpha Male in me that had become stultified and suppressed, from it's feminism bonds.
I think my comment I left you expresses this to some small degree. It is for this reason that I now consider you my Primal Fetish. I hope you don't mind the raw-emotion behind this label? I now feel more like the old me. it feels like your words have set me free - Thank you.🦁🌺
Need this to become a podcast
You are utterly adorable and I love your channel, very glad I discovered it.
The description of the "devouring mother" reminds me of my own mother. She did all of my essays and papers in junior high school. Then I had to go elsewhere for high school (long story). I had no idea how to write an essay or paper on my own and my grades sank from the As and A+s I got when she did the writing, to Cs and C+s. Eventually, I improved, but there's a lesson there. She wasn't quite as "devouring" has been described but...
I have a question.
Who's more misogynistic? Toxic male who seeks to dominate women, or a feminist who says all forms of femininity is bad and weak and masculinity is good and strong?
Great content, somehow I thought I was crazy when I realised that women emotional bullying is unpunished in society because it leaves no physical scars. When they continuously do this, it eventually drives a man to madness and alcoholism. There are so many men abused emotionally and no one talks. Including some other toxic tactics when addressing real issues like deflecting, shaming, guilt tripping and crying to avoid the accountability. It even gets worse with tantrums, posting Whatsapp statuses to indirectly shame the man. Some go as far as beating their man and then scratching themselves claiming he did it. Me too movement is another tactic used by modern women to destroy powerful man especially when she cannot get what she wants. Some keep their kids away from their fathers then go online to claim dadbeat dads.
One thing that often gets overlooked is that while men are physically stronger, women are generally more robust than men; living longer and healthier lives (less prone to illness)
More robust? No. Better parasites at the expense of men? YES.
A porcelain teacup will survive longer than a stoneware mug. The teacup is not more robust than the mug. Stoneware is more robust than porcelain. The porcelain teacup outlives the stoneware mug because it's kept in the china cabinet rather than in the cupboard, it's reserved for special occasions rather than for everyday use, and its handled more delicately when it is used.
Men smoke, drink, and do drugs more than women lol
Fantastic. Subscribed. Thank you.
speaking wisdom, thank you!
I don't try to tell women how to be feminine, and I'm damn tired of being told how to be masculine by women and men alike. Here's my take on how to be a man: be virtuous and be true to yourself. Seriously, thats it. Do good things in the world, and don't let others define you.
Most important part at the 25 minute mark. This is exactly why so many things are going wrong.
At work I have worked with groups of women who work in policy prediction. The concept behind their work is that if you speak about scenarios, all scenarios can be documented and then the desirable scenario can be picked and policy can be made for it.
This concept is entirely feminin in mature. Truth or future is not something that can be determined through communication. You can not petition the future by willing good. There may be a 100 further scenarios that arise from unexpected causes. Also, the likelihood of each individual scenario was completely neglected.
It was much the same during the pandemic. Instead of determining the most likely future, the worst case was derived and policy was made for that. In our company, by the very same women.
13:50 Starbucks actually did this, to a degree, with coffee beans. Also, if you don't know The Authentic Observer, here on TH-cam, I think you'd like her channel. You two would be amazing interviewing each other.
You're literally like a blend of my two favourite channels on youtube - Chase Joseph and The Authentic Observer!!!
There should be a topic discussion on "toxic stupidity".
I would love a video on toxic delusion
Thank you for naming it, the jezebel spirit has not changed since its inception.
What to do with a woman who had adopted the masculine complex completely and i have stepped into both effectively? This modernity stuff is hell
The description of toxic femininity explains the dysfunction immediately. LOL
Thank you, it is interesting.
Based AF take. Instant sub.
Another great video.
I do like this video a lot. For example my sister was a toxic female and only after becoming a single mother that her demeanor changed into one more in balance and less destructive, she was a bad person before it. Totally different is sad what happen to her, but she deserve it as it was the only she could move out of it herself. In her own way and terms.
3:17 this isnt build a bear. We will get into the bear vs man topic at a later point. He who holds the power determines the rules. He with the power can play build a bear. The reason the ladies choose the bear is because they have been coddled in this matriarchy and have no understanding of real danger, so they see men as the only danger in their lives because they see bears as teddy bears. But its a two prong situation because they want nen who are beasts but also teddy bears for them, thats why they choose the bear. Its really just proves she is a child in an adult's body.
The irony is that the safest place for a woman is at home, with her husband and father of her children, but women do everything they can to destroy that.
@@bellagatto9670 exactly. The safest is next to her man. The one that chose her and gave her his commitment. But women have lost respect for that commitment because they no longer see what responsibilities they put on his shoulders when he chooses her. To protect her, the provide her with love and security. But she just sees him as a walking atm, or bodyguard or even a constant D appointment. But he is the one who chooses her because he controls who sits at his table and has power over if you are the situationship, the gf or the wifey.