14 Uncomfortable Truths About Human Psychology - Gurwinder Bhogal
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ค. 2024
- Gurwinder Bhogal is a programmer and a writer.
Gurwinder is one of my favourite Twitter follows. He’s written yet another megathread exploring human nature, cognitive biases, mental models, status games, crowd behaviour and social media. It’s fantastic, and today we go through some of my favourites.
Expect to learn why our mental model of the world assumes people are just like us, why Narcissists tend to inject themselves into every story no matter how unrelated or tenuous, the role of Postjournalism in a world of fake news, why we navigate the world through stories and not statistics or facts, why people specialise in things they are actually bad at and much more…
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00:00 False Consensus Effect
04:47 Freudian’s Paradox
14:35 The Narcissist’s Bedpost
20:34 Enthymeme
30:09 Post-Journalism
41:20 Fiction Lag
51:58 The Golden Mean
1:05:55 Tarswell’s Razor
1:09:32 Package-Deal Ethics
1:17:44 Rothbard’s Law
1:24:22 Champion Bias
1:30:21 Anchored to Your Own History Bias
1:36:29 Common Knowledge Effect
1:43:19 Where to Find Gurwinder
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Hello you savages. Get access to every episode 10 hours before TH-cam by subscribing for free on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw Here's the timestamps:
00:00 False Consensus Effect
04:47 Freudian’s Paradox
14:35 The Narcissist’s Bedpost
20:34 Enthymeme
30:09 Post-Journalism
41:20 Fiction Lag
51:58 The Golden Mean
1:05:55 Tarswell’s Razor
1:09:32 Package-Deal Ethics
1:17:44 Rothbard’s Law
1:24:22 Champion Bias
1:30:21 Anchored to Your Own History Bias
1:36:29 Common Knowledge Effect
1:43:19 Where to Find Gurwinder
A lot of people talk about themselves so that they can share things in common with another person and build a relationship through common interests. If someone is into something and you say that you really like that too, you have a better connection then if you just asked them questions. There are lots of reasons people talk about themselves not just egotism.
Asking people many questions about themselves seems rude to me. I often share something about myself to start a conversation.
I catch myself doing this sometimes, but because i notice this the people that i most often have conversations with know this. Like i told them hey i say these things because i want to acknowledge your experience in said subject through my own so that you also know you’re understood well. Though when this happens to me a lot in a short period it can be interpreted as bragging, thats when i found out i had to watch my mouth sometimes 😂
The funny thing is that right after guest talked about this , Chris started talking about him and his experience 😂
@@Starplatinum2oo4degree matters.
The conservative critique of being pro freedom and anti mass migration was a silly comment as they’re unrelated. Being a conservative also means respecting a sovereign state and its borders ensuing the freedom of the citizenry of that nation. Especially when mass migration goes against the people’s will and forced upon the populace which they didn’t vote for. Somehow he thinks “pro-freedom equals do whatever you want regardless of who it impacts”.
Also, if we aren't educating our own population about the constitution, we sure aren't assimilating millions of immigrants toward the constitution. This country relies upon a free press which relies on a strong middle class, both of which are GONE. Globalists gutted our manufacturing base. The immigrants expect to pay bribes and they expect .violence and they expect thier government to grant and take freedom They don't expect Natural Rights. Neither do our kids because no one taught them that distinction. Our latest Supreme Court Judge would not defend Natural Rights during her confirmation.
True
Well said!!!
🇺🇸
Yep. But he won’t be unlocking his front door to immigrants
There is a portion of conservatives who want less LEGAL migration to protect culture and homogeneity,pro-freedom imigration policies results in diversity and multiculturalism
1:07:04 I have to disagree about the value of anger. You and bro _sort of_ get to it at the end of this segment but I think it's even more important for a number of reasons:
- Anger is important for self-advocacy and boundaries and helps limit others taking advantage of you. It's even more primative for self-protection but even removing this basic function it helps defend against emotional trauma -- you're mistreating me and I'm not going to allow it.
- Saying it's obsolete because we have police is downright silly (
"we have police"
The same police that takes hours to respond to an emergency...
Turning 50 now, and I think with age I just cut ppl more slack in general which seems to be a good starting point. I don't expect much from any interaction, but if it turns out well it is just a great bonus that may make my day better. Anyways, love the cahnnel and have a good day/eve all. Cheers from Sweden.
We don’t hate The New York Times enough.
So glad you got Gurwinder back on the show. His latest article, "Why Everything is Becoming a Game", is honestly one of the best things I've ever read.
Chris' point about conversation and charisma is analogous to playing tennis with a friend. It's the back and forth that is fun. Seeing how long we can keep it going, as opposed to smashing the ball past each other. It's not really a competition.
13:24 “The less time making decisions, the more you spend making decisions work.
You can use that extra time to make whatever decision you made and make it work.”
The decision planning period should be weighed with its potential value and priority.
Thanks for the insight on Morgan Housel’s books. In my 82 years of life I have learned to refrain from giving financial advice to my grandchildren, even when they ask how grandpa and I could afford to buy a house 😊 is not relevant any more.
Gurwinder! Back for more! Very much enjoying your conversation at the moment. Thank you both. 😊
Many many people now spend an inordinate amount of energy attributing great importance to the trivia in their lives ... it is astonishing !
In ADHD circles, showing how something relates to ones self, is typically a way to build a bridge between the other person and themself. It's similar to saying, "oh look, I can relate to you empathetically" and "look at what we have in common". Another way of seeing it is "I understand you".
Yep, exactly that! I used to do it in the "I can relate to you" way all the time. It was only recently I learnt it could be viewed as a narcissistic thing
@@DMUs-nu6tg Same! Now I try to watch it more but then sometimes I don't know how to relate as well. When I first heard that was sometimes considered self-centered I thought "isn't that just how conversations happen? How else would it go?" Lol
I have ADHD, and I get this! It’s a way of building rapport with another person. Though I can see how some might view it as a sign of narcissism.
i dont have time to watch the entire episode , but this is really important information can you please explain it , if you dont have time pls give the time stamp , thank you
@@Freedom_Prof
My favorite guest... 👍🏾❤️❤️
Putting the notifications on "all" has been a game changer!!! Love the topic of this conversation!!
1:12:19 I don’t think there is a contradiction. They’re pro freedom for the citizens of the country, it doesn’t mean they’re pro open borders.
Really great conversation! Thanks
i think were all insane , once we become adults ,life is so traumatic for most people
Watched this twice, smart insights. Loved it!
I'm with ya'll on nearly everything. But doubting the benefits of diversity because of a few studies seems premature. 'Diversity' is an incredibly nebulous concept and no two types of diversity are the same, let-alone scale or specific circumstances. Take for instance the diversity of cultures around the world and how they were able to adapt and improve on technologies from other cultures. I suspect the strength of diversity changes based on scale. But even that is an incredibly general take. And how did these studies control for any biases or animosity between groups? What, did they use a self-reporting questionnaire??? What aspects of diversity were they actually trying to measure? Age, race, sex? And what was the specific task? Civilization is an emergent property of an emergent property of an emergent property. And diversity is an emergent factor in this emergent system. Doesn't it seem kind of foolish to make ANY kind of general statement about it being 'bad' or 'good'? Is a single sentence with three or four letter words truly appropriate to describe such complex factors? I mean the conversation was pretty sophisticated up to that point. But you really dropped the ball on this one. Virtue is contingent on circumstance. Diversity is no different. But anyway, all in all I'm a big fan of what ya'll do.
I think what he was saying is people dont use diversity in groups how you would think. Like it is an effective tool but people dont use correctly when in the situation for it to be useful
Brilliant! Being takes time. Thanks for this incredible reflections.
Amazing podcast. I learned a lot. Thanks.
Very interesting discussion, thank you both. On the first point made, it reminded me that essentially we all have our own ‘map’ of the world (beliefs etc. based on lived experience), it’s so easy to be judgmental. This is something I’m constantly working on, in terms of catching’ myself. Found the discussion about decision making useful to reflect on.
I love listening to Gurwinder❤It would be great if he had a YT channel but yeah, finish the book first. 😉
Interesting point made about the mechanism or technology used or embedded within language.
The story is the packaging - "Trojan horse"
Language, can be used like computer code. For those that know who to use/create it.
An amazing episode as always ❤❤❤... You really need to speak also to Esther Perel... Her perspective of relationships is "ummmbelievely" amazing, eye opening and relateable.
Has Bryan Johnson ever said he doesn’t enjoy his daily life? How can someone say that another person is not living their life when they are following their true passion. Even the best athletes still have to do boring exercises for hours everyday…
I'm going to learn these truths so I can think gooder.
Amazing
Loving the content Chris, keep up the great work 🎉 can you get chris van tulleken on the podcast!! You two would have a great conversation.
this one is good
Keep doing the thing , that you keep doing.
Because it's interesting, valuable, and inspirational/invoking - to go and venture/adventure from outside our perceptions
Seeing the world more in perspective vision.
Point made about explaining personal success (why many can't) v learning from failures...
Talent v skill ?
One is tapping into the principal and draining the account.
Where the other is building the principle and living off the interest
Brilliant that Chris mentioned the Cummings interview. Whether you like or loath Cummings his insights into why government isnt working was fascinating.
Love the Ryan Chapman callout. Big fan of his TH-cam videos!
5:37 things you worry about are not what gets you its the things you never thought off that kill you
The place it’s really obvious is watching people drive. It bothers me when my girlfriend rages at people on the road for very minor mistakes or inconveniences because I don’t have my full license yet and I know that if she was driving behind me she would be freaking out, which really discourages me from wanting to start driving more.
At the same time we see people doing all these mistakes that could potentially lead to crashes if they were just a little bit off on their estimates. I think some of the anger directed at drivers is justified e.g. being mad at someone who drives too fast, doesn't give turn signals, rear-ends etc. So many things that could lead to horrible accodents.
Plus she probably makes those same mistakes anyway
I'm getting off the road...people driving looking at their phones and being worse and worse drivers ....metal death traps driving around 60 mph
Ignore her, to put it shortly. People with road rage are too self righteous. Everybody makes mistakes and beginners have every right to be on the road as everyone else. Do not worry what others think and do your best. Good luck 💪🏻
Just drive with her in the car ...
enthymeme is essentially gaslighting via peer pressure.. and i suppose it takes a certain critical mass of 'peers' to invert the false consensus effect
Moderation in all things... including moderation - James Hilton, Lost Horizon
Ah glad to see Gurwinder back again😊
Oh my God, this channel is such an intellectual roller-coaster. Wooooo! Wooooooooo! Imagine trying to absorb all these deep concepts at once! Woooo! Wooooooo!
The part about the narcissism, ”when you inject yourself into a conversation”, Chris did that just few seconds before! I feel that narcissism has been pathologized in social media. All of us have those traits, we use them every day. To treat somebody as narcissist just because he or she is talking to much about themselves is a bit too much. A true narcissist is toxic, with damaged relationships.
spoken like a true…
Don't try to control your emotions, control if, when, and how you react to internal and external stimuli. Trying to control emotions after they've been activated will end up suppressing them or something similar. If you simply don't react, there is no emotion to control. We always have the option to either react or not and how to react if we de ide to. The thing is, we we have been trained and trained ourselves to react automatically and in certai ways. We can train ourselves differently.
Does anyone know the shirt Gurwinder is wearing?
It's really nice. I want to get one if it's reasonably priced.
False consensus effect is really bad when it comes to relationships and gender differences.
He is doing conflict resolution wrong because he wants to solve the problem first/She is doing conflict resolution wrong because she wants to address feelings first. Both parties feel as though the other is in the wrong, because they are measuring their partner by what works for them. In reality both methods work for each of them.
To conclude diverse teams are insignificantly better is shortsighted. Those studies that I’ve seen use team dynamics that negate the value of dei in teams. To have diverse team also requires operationally considering significantly different perspectives. Many teams naturally screen out diversity to quickly come to a consensus. Rework team dynamics to get a betterment picture
When I was in college, I started doing mental exercises to see the world through the eyes of various people at school. It was quite eye opening and fascinating, and aided greatly in addressing the concensus bias.
The ability to jump into someone's head, to understand their biases and limitations, their goals and interests, and emotions and insecurities gave me such insight into the people's behavioral patterns. It felt like seeing an entire crowd of people, busily ebbing and flowing through their lives, and being able to predict the pattern of movement so I could navigate through without crashing into anyone.
It took a while for me to understand women though. Mostly because I was expecting logic. Once I accepted that logic didn't apply to the pattern, and that whims and emotions were the driving force, it all made sense. Lol.
have you ever burned ants with a magnifying lens?
Two cookies worse than none? And the other option is binge... OMG, Chris its a changed man! ;) Great podcast mate. Thanks!
@chriswillx - these talks with Gurwinder are always brilliant. Simple, logical, rational heuristics that are so obviously beneficial (once you hear them 😂)
Cheers guys ❤
"Diversity is our strength" is one of those slogans that sounds wise but is actually foolish. The immediate question should be,"Diversity of what?" Diversity of eye color is unlikely to have any influence on anything, while diversity on moral virtue is likely to have a devastatingly negative impact.
*Gurwinder episodes are my favourite, lad is such a good thinker*
bong hit anyone?
I'm 59. I've spent a good portion of my life trying to please others by being charismatic, interesting, and selfless. It's exhausting, and people are greedy. I'm doing the exact opposite now. I'm intentionally uninteresting and selfish.
Why were you trying to please others?
I'm not sure I agree with the narcissist one ( Irony ), but this is some I've done a lot, and after a lot of therapy, it turns out this is less about making about yourself and for some it's a way to try and make a connection (common ground), yet comes across very narcissistic.
48:10 that’s what happened with Game of Thrones. Something very bad happened to the character Sansa, and a lot of women freaked out and reacted as if the bad act happened to the actress Sophie Turner.
I really think people forget that fictional movies and tv shows aren’t real life. I think thats also why so many men are angry about The Acolyte. They forget that there isn’t a galaxy far away where a coven of witches exist.
What's a heuristic?
About Sam Harris. He pays a price for not beloging to a thought tribe but some people also get satisfaction from being a contrarian. So your theory is a tricky one.
The whole cost/benefit comparison to decision making and "saving time" and "paring down" and "eliminating the superfluous" makes me sad. It makes me feel like you view life like it's something to be managed and controlled, that every action has to be to justified, (every thought even!) and if found wanting, it must tossed be tossed in the bin with all the other time-wasters. Listen, you're young, and I'm old. You are male, and I am female. You are successful (by the standards of worldly success anyway), and I am not. I get that we are approaching life differently, and that's fine. But you might find, when you are old and gray, that the messy, unrestrained, unplanned time-wasting moments are the ones that you will remember most. Falling in love, having children, cleaning up kid vomit at 3 AM, watching a ridiculously long stage play of Puss in Boots from your kid's kindergarten class, letting Grandma wax poetic (for hours) about how her slim ankles were all the envy of the other ladies at the sock hop. All consume exorbitant amounts of time (not unlike my comment here), none are controllable, none are predictable, and yet, ironically enough, the best wastes of time to be found anywhere. Just promise me that you'll think about it.
17:25 from a narcissists perspective, wouldn't some of them actually be some of the most interesting and entertaining types of people? The ones most driven to impress?
I'm no fan of unearned arrogance, but I'd love to hear Scott Galloway talk about his life experiences, or Mo Salah describe how he trained that shift-left-and-shoot move. It's awesome being outshon if you're not insecure and genuinely interested in the other person.
The "all the time" is a key factor. Most people in the "me" culture are a brand because most people are struggling to make ends meet and Tony Robbins told them it was the best approach to achieving your potential with the same effort.
On the one hand we coach people to be narcissists, and on the other hand we denigrate them for just brushing the border of narcissism even though they're doing it intentionally by the guidance of the same advisors.
This is what makes self help so irritating. Instead of saying "maybe this" and just thinking about it, they say "it is this" then later say "don't do this because this is really that".
It's not helpful. We should stop giving lists of turths and start conditioning critical thinking when we hear something that immediately sounds true.
They can be fun in small doses at a suitable level of emotional distance. But they are ultimately extremely needy and will manipulate you in order to get their whims fulfilled.
I like how he said that it’s a contradiction for conservatives to be against immigration and pro-freedom. Since when are right wingers full on anarchists who don’t believe in borders? Overall good interview, but that was a complete fail. A desperate attempt at both sides’ing
Conservatives would be more laissez-faire about borders if there weren't so many social services and insane laws like anchor babies for illegal immigrants to take advantage of. The policies of the left make border security necessary.
In the first half of the 20th century, when law and order was respected and the death penalty was utilized heavily, it was commonplace for people to leave their doors unlocked all day.
So I wouldn't say it's inherent in the conservative mindset to be focused on security. We are not fearful people by nature.
The Amish are fairly conservative. Try showing up on the farm and asking for a place to live and free food.
Love these conversations, for everything I want to say, i shall simply say - thank you. Bottom of my fucking heart mate, thank you 😀
Perhaps...
What's interesting about conspiracy language.
It's a short hand /in house language.
That loses its ability to self check.
It's makes in-house references without any need to clarify / define or point back to source of information.
It's usually emotional driven/based.
As a deliberate means to over rule the intellect.
Conspiracy is emotional based storytelling.
In other words. It's not about the information.
It's about the emotion
What FEELS right/good
Isn’t “what were seeing is all subjective” an objective statement?
False consensus effect is more like every bad data analyst or statistician. They make bad papers.
I like how the example he used of propaganda uses the most harmless politician in the US as opposed to the others who have a giant history of making the country miserable for everyone. Almost like a meta take on his point.
Hey, i know that guy from his twitter threads
Zero point energy is real just make sure you release it the right way
The comparisons in this one are precious. Chris, do the summer months bring out the liberalism? 😂
lol well this hits home 2 minutes in already.
18:04 - Charisma vs. Charm
Fascinating. Never really considered just accepting a 'package of beliefs' tho. And he is correct, when you subscribe individually to a belief, so that your ideas do not fit into a tribal ideology, you find yourself outside of all the tribes.
However, his assertion that the Right is 'against immigration but pro-freedom' is faulty. The Right tends to be pro-LEGAL immigration (as opposed to the crimial chaotic sort) while also pro-freedom...so long as the immigration is vetted, overseen by authority, and organized they are very encouraging of immigration. Very important distinction.
Which part is the amnesty seeking children being separated from their parents and stuffed in cages?
Is that the freedom part or the legal immigration part?
enthymeme sounds a lot like the logical fallacy of begging the question.
“Anyone stronger than me is on steroids “
Drinking game: have a shot every time someone says “heuristic”
It's me. Flawed baseline here. And yet, I can't seem to help being annoyed by "other". I think they do it on purpose too. You, out there, just admit, OK? Admit that you are annoying and then I can be happy. Until you annoy me again.
Jordan needed to leave basketball.
Arriving so early feels weird
Routine. I'm going to try that through the week.
1:12:30
Being pro-freedom and also being anti-immigration is not a contradiction lmao. Immigration restricts freedom in the sense that it lessens the impact of individual choice and governmental representation by introducing groups of people with different interests.
first comment😀. chris your podcast helped me a lot. your fan from Ethiopia
Just to make a small critique, conservatives not agreeing with abortion and believing in freedom is not a contradiction. Conservatives (I'm not one by the way) believe abortion is murder, and therefore supersedes the "selfish" reason of killing their unborn child for convenience.
Conservac***s came in 2010! 14 yrs too long.
Love these eps with this guy!
Enjoyed the conversation. Though his comments on freedom vs being pro abortion or immigration were... uneducated.
I.e. Principles of freedom have no bearing on whether or not one can kill a child in the womb (abortion). Those are not contradictions. He is just not educated on conservative philosophy and principles.
Freedom and immigration. Principles of freedom are not in contradiction to protecting one's borders... like at all lol
Massive conflation and an odd one at that.
Chris your an American now, you can take today off. Happy 4th of July 🇺🇲.
To be honest (and this is not criticism to the guest but praise to you) i found myself aligning and more intruiged with what Chris was saying and how he articulated it vs what the guest was, it almost came across as you were more proficient at the subject in hand than even he was
Ideological spit roasting could be essentially sometimes just a bunch of words trapped in the emotional cobweb of multidimensional thought of the stupid human mind. Sometimes knowledge is indeed curse.
However, we need to stand for something not fall for anything
distracting collar
PUTT JATTAN DEEEEE!!! 😂😂
Not sure if you read these mate, but please don’t fall into the trap of talking to rubbish creators like Greg Doucette.
If the money is there, go for it but jeez there is something up with that bloke. He seems lost
Grab whatever yogurt, lmao
Really? Ads every five minutes?! You’re show is literally unwatchable
Is it me or is this guy talking way to fast.
Who’s this guy?
wow, right-wing has stepped up its game..computer science guy talks psychology..neat
If I had some mayonnaise and bread I could make some tuna sandwiches but I'm not going to have tuna sandwiches without mayo, especially if I dont even have vinagar.
Weak guest
I feel like I wasted time listening to this inane conversation. Not worth of this channel
Not good enough
This guy seems not ready to make a good analogy about his own work and ends up stumbling over the examples. Very odd. Not necessarily wrong, just seem unprepared. But this is a pretty big red flag for me.
this guy's face makes me uncomfortable fr
Started out promising but, pretty early on, Mr. Bhogal started reaching to make his analogies work and finally he just used false premises to propagate what(in my opinion) he has be indoctrinated to believe about those who value human freedom as stated in the U.S. Declaration of Independence, Constitution and Bill of Rights. Disappointing that you didn't check him on some of the more obvious ones Chris as you have created a large following with some great content and I feel it is incumbent upon you to do so. How silly to assert that those who value freedoms like the right to keep and bear arms are contradicting themselves or be hypocritical for not wanting ILLEGAL immigration. People breaking ANY law actually infringes on other's freedom. Almost no one has an issue with LEGAL immigration but rather we understand it is good and necessary. Also, millions freedom loving Americans don't think that a woman choosing to kill a baby in the womb is her simply exercising her freedom. Instead we would say that she took away the God-given right of her baby to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Chris I'm sorry but, some of your guest are just brats with a degree and a book they've written. They have a lot to learn.