I used to smile a lot trying to please people and that turned me into a "nice guy", but people don't take you seriously when you do that. So I don't smile too often now, and I feel like people respect me more now.
@@blackshadexlmost likely referring to the OP being depressed and “smiling more” would be inauthentic directly conflicting with his first statement of authenticity being a must.
It might sound crazy but I’ve never heard “being authentic” described as acting based on how you are feeling. That makes so much sense and seems so accurate
2:47 that’s true. Instead of saying sorry, hold on for a moment and think about if you’ve done something wrong. As for me, instead of saying “I’m sorry to interrupt,” perhaps “Excuse me, I would like to speak with you for 15mins, will it be possible?” It’s more of a direct way to communicate without being rude.
@@hrithik5274Uh just watching the video shows a bunch of things not to do for the very next conversation you have with a friend? I don't see how it couldn't help?
I'm really impressed with your video and how you present things. I'm old enough to remember when a lot of this was how we did interact with one another before technology took our attention away. There was a time when we weren't afraid to be direct and assertive in the respectful manner you're showing, but we've gotten into this space of feeling like anything we say to anyone will somehow offend them. This is a reminder of how much better we can all be. Thank you!
This video is fantastic! Please continue creating content that provides real value to your audience, like this one. The insights are incredibly helpful and thought-provoking. Your ability to break down complex ideas and make them engaging is truly appreciated. Keep up the amazing work!
Yep, this guy is about to blow-up. Absolutely great content, and really done in a meaningful way, without making it catchy with chop-chop cuts to retain audience attention. Hope YOU stay authentic too as you grow.
I love how every time you bring up examples from yourself, you always are talking about what you did wrong and how "us" the audience can do better. However, when you bring an example of another person, it is always positive, you're not gossiping behind their back like a coward. It takes a lot of maturity and confidence to do that. It's easy to talk about how great you are, and how much others suck. It's a lot harder to admit that you are not perfect and lift others up, but it is what truly confident people do. Because they don't need to prove themselves, they know who they are, and they want others to share that same confidence as them, so they lift others up. I've experienced this in my own life, I used to be super uncofident and I would talk bad and judge other people while defending myself. As I learned to be more confident, I only wanted to see the best in others, because I knew what it was like to be unconfident and I didn't want them to suffer the same way I did, so I lifted them up. It made me feel so great, as I'm helping another brother or sister who had a similar struggle, maybe even worse, to me. I still have a lot to learn, I'm never finished on this journey called life. There is still so many ways I want to be more confident, but I've made some decent progress and you can to! What worked for me is working on myself, sticking to my goals, and going out of my comfort zone. That made me respect myself a lot more, leading to more confidence. I didn't have time to judge others in my head, I was purely focused on being better and the goal, which led to a lot of confidence. If anyone is feeling like they need to improve their confidence, I would suggest trying the things I mentioned, they really do help. I'ma leave a quote here "A confident person will hide their strengths, and turn their weaknesses into strengths." (The Dark Needle)
Such kind words, thanks! I didn’t notice I was doing that! I’m glad you made so much progress. I met of lot of people struggling more than me while I was hosting events. So I really resonated with what you said about wanting to lift them up. I think the process you described is the only way forward-got to get out of one’s comfort zone to really grow.
This is one of the best social skills videos I've ever seen. I can't even pin down one thing that stands out, it's just evenly spread high quality in every aspect. Made my brain feel good.
This is most specific video on topic I found. I really mean it and great part is that it's not presented in style of self-help, just focusing on observations and paterns. Will definitely watch more of your videos as you propably have more points that can be put in just 30 minute video, people are so complex.
@StrongRespect Am I a monster? You have to apologize for crossing my path? "I'm sorry" implies they did something wrong, "excuse me" is being polite when crossing in front of someone's path..I don't see it as weak, it's actually just confusing and I always say "don't be sorry!" "Oh I don't own this store" Or "why are you sorry?" 😂
Michael, you did an incredible job on this one! I watched it twice in a row and will definitely try adopting some of these habits in my social interactions.
Even before you mentioned it I thought: 'I love your style' I was looking at the necklace trying to figure out what it was made of and thought about wether the shirt is a selfmade one or if it can be bought. Really like the design of it.
You made such a good video. It's my new mantra. There are so many things that were highlighted in this video, that I thought I knew how to do, but you found a way to do it even better. Like, the tips about a compliment, scrumptious. The part when you mentioned, "if you're bored during the conversation, they were too" mindblowing. And how to kill small talk, perfect.
Hey there, Michael. Congrats on having this video watched by lots of people compared to your previous videos! You must be overjoyed! Kudos, you deserve it 👏🏻
1 times out of 10, I come up to people like Heyyy whatsup!🥳🍻 and I get a response like 😒gtfo. I used to feel hurt about it. But you can get better at realizing they might just have had a bad day, or they have issues which make them act like an ahole.
A powerful and helpful video. I have encountered most of these concepts before and appreciate how you were able to run through seamlessly. Now I want to read those books and expand my social skills. Good job!
Mike, you did a great job with this video. Every segment is spot on, the way you explain things and examples you use - I just can't get enough of it. I also love your voice and pace. For a half an hour video I was listening to on the background while cooking I got distracted only once, thats also telling :) I look forward to more
You've earned a new follower, your method is so much more refreshing than what most "grind-bros" tend to focus on. This is a new way to look at social interactions. Cheers mate ATB for ur channel.
10/10 video honestly, one of the best I’ve seen on this topic and I’ve seen many. Please, if we are only just “scratching the surface”, we need much more.
I’m gonna be critical of this part of the video about body language! Body language books really is not helpful for many individuals. The only thing it made me do when I read it, was fear being in public more, since I typically move all over the place and often unaware or over analyze myself and become defeated and ashamed over how much I’m unable to control those small tiny movements which mean nothing! Literally they mean nothing. Just a way for my body to know it’s there still and attached. I unfortunately cannot be “real and authentic” when it comes to being able to do little movements to help me calm down in a public place and most times I’m unaware I’m doing them. And when I become hyper aware, I become rigid and feel sick. Can’t really stop them unless I want to make the experience hell. Those kinds of body language books do not work for many people and I wouldn’t see it as gospel and fact that when someone does or moves or fidgets or does something, it’s not always going to mean what you might have read in the book about it.
Yup I feel you, I also do some very stimmy tapping with my hands! Yes, those books don't necessarily help you control involuntary movements, nor should you try. And it's true that there isn't always a meaning to every movement. I've found these books can point out positive body language that I can try, more than they help me read others. Go figure. Getting out of our head is hard. Something very pleasant happens if you make yourself go out and talk to random people. You can get very present by doing something scary.
This is honestly such amazing advices, thanks Michael! Next video about internal?stuff would be much appreciated; a girl I was interested in said I was too tensed and she could feel it ha-ha...
Just found your channel, love your recommendations and book / video references. I'm now a subscriber. Thanks for your great work. Looking forward to more to come! 😊
it’s like the dunning krueger effect. Dumb people say: “just be yourself” “Smart” people in dating say: “create a frame where you’re the alpha, be careful, you can’t compliment her too much etc etc.” The wise people say: “just be yourself” once you get through a phase of doing game and stuff, you come out and realize most girls aren’t worth your time or money. You become powerful and desirable because you require things and characteristics that girls actually need to work towards.
I would be rolling my eyes at a cheesy line like, "you're coming out with me Friday night" and avoid tthat person b/c they are too cocky. also avoid your friend would makes declarations about things they know little about just to sound confident. that works 1x or 2x
I appreciate you are not a copy cat.. recently all videos, all creators speak the same, edit the same, light the same..i hate.how everyone is so the same.
This is the best social skills video i have seen. Please do more like this - you sound like you will be good at sales - can you do a video on that top..m
Here in Ireland, we say sorry for everything, literally everything! Instead of excuse me we say sorry, if we don't hear something clearly, sorry etc.. No exaggeration, we are addicted to the term.
I don't use the over precise language, I use correct phrasing for my level of certainty. It is good, and it is due to your internal honesty being high enough that your external language matches.
I partially disagree with the listening part. It IS important to listen to people and especially friends, but don’t let yourself become a therapist or shrink for people who don’t care about you.
Hi Michael, this is the best video I've watched in 2024!!! This is my first time watching your video and I love your presentation style and the information you shared. Keep making more videos like this! P/S: almost subscribe to your channel, but looks like this a random personal interest channel Edit: Fuck it, I am going subscribe anyway. Waiting for more content like this!!
This a fucking Amazing video, never heard of you before but now you got my attention. I texted this vid out to several friends of mine who I think could get some value from it. Spread the love 🖤
Putting the spotlight on others-- it’s funny, nowadays I put a lot of effort on talking about my conversation partner, trying to find out more about them, that whenever they reciprocate and ask about me, I get very self conscious and try to deflect back to them as fast as I can. Bad habit I guess.
I don’t understand what being real even means anymore. My emotions and thoughts are so inconsistent and chaotic I’m not sure who I am some days or who the person is in the mirror. They look so fake and ugly no matter what mirror I look into. I dissociate a lot and daydream a lot so maybe it has a lot to do with that.
Try to be more honest with yourself and don’t run away even if it might feel scary at first. With time flying by it gets better and not that scary i’ve been there i promise!!
I don't get how I can be authentic and at the same time show certainty/being sure about what I say when there are evidently things that I don't know or that are outside my control that might invalidate everything that I'm saying - I think I would look foolish and people would listen to me less after a bunch of errors of that kind. So, am I missing something in the logic of this?
Yeah it's true that people can get skeptical if it's done to an extreme (this is the case with the friend I mentioned). I wouldn't say it's about faking certainty in an uncertain situation. You can notice when you use uncertain language, and try to rephrase it. For e.g. there are many situations where people say "I think..." when it could be phrased "It is.." or similar.
![BOWKYLION - วิงวอน (ex-change) [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/cLdnZWDaO-w/mqdefault.jpg)
“Be authentic”
“Smile more”
Pick one
real 😂
what you mean?
I used to smile a lot trying to please people and that turned me into a "nice guy", but people don't take you seriously when you do that. So I don't smile too often now, and I feel like people respect me more now.
You can be authentic and smile more depending on how the other person makes you feel.
@@blackshadexlmost likely referring to the OP being depressed and “smiling more” would be inauthentic directly conflicting with his first statement of authenticity being a must.
It might sound crazy but I’ve never heard “being authentic” described as acting based on how you are feeling. That makes so much sense and seems so accurate
2:47 that’s true. Instead of saying sorry, hold on for a moment and think about if you’ve done something wrong. As for me, instead of saying “I’m sorry to interrupt,” perhaps “Excuse me, I would like to speak with you for 15mins, will it be possible?” It’s more of a direct way to communicate without being rude.
I've never seen a video on social skills that has helped and related to me this much! I love it.
Thanks for your kind words! I’m glad it struck a chord with you.
It's been 5 days since he uploaded this and 2 days since you commented, I wanna know how did it help you in such a small period of time.
@@hrithik5274Uh just watching the video shows a bunch of things not to do for the very next conversation you have with a friend? I don't see how it couldn't help?
I did not expect this video to be this good
Your wisdom is a rare treasure, given without asking, yet worth more than words can say.
I'm really impressed with your video and how you present things. I'm old enough to remember when a lot of this was how we did interact with one another before technology took our attention away. There was a time when we weren't afraid to be direct and assertive in the respectful manner you're showing, but we've gotten into this space of feeling like anything we say to anyone will somehow offend them. This is a reminder of how much better we can all be. Thank you!
I’m only half way thru the video, and honestly this is one of the best and realest communication videos I’ve seen. Great work man
Thanks very much, that means a lot! Nice dance moves..
This video is fantastic! Please continue creating content that provides real value to your audience, like this one. The insights are incredibly helpful and thought-provoking. Your ability to break down complex ideas and make them engaging is truly appreciated. Keep up the amazing work!
Yep, this guy is about to blow-up. Absolutely great content, and really done in a meaningful way, without making it catchy with chop-chop cuts to retain audience attention.
Hope YOU stay authentic too as you grow.
Thank you so much for that!! Glad you enjoyed it. I’ll try to keep it up 🙏
I love how every time you bring up examples from yourself, you always are talking about what you did wrong and how "us" the audience can do better. However, when you bring an example of another person, it is always positive, you're not gossiping behind their back like a coward. It takes a lot of maturity and confidence to do that. It's easy to talk about how great you are, and how much others suck. It's a lot harder to admit that you are not perfect and lift others up, but it is what truly confident people do. Because they don't need to prove themselves, they know who they are, and they want others to share that same confidence as them, so they lift others up.
I've experienced this in my own life, I used to be super uncofident and I would talk bad and judge other people while defending myself. As I learned to be more confident, I only wanted to see the best in others, because I knew what it was like to be unconfident and I didn't want them to suffer the same way I did, so I lifted them up. It made me feel so great, as I'm helping another brother or sister who had a similar struggle, maybe even worse, to me. I still have a lot to learn, I'm never finished on this journey called life. There is still so many ways I want to be more confident, but I've made some decent progress and you can to! What worked for me is working on myself, sticking to my goals, and going out of my comfort zone. That made me respect myself a lot more, leading to more confidence. I didn't have time to judge others in my head, I was purely focused on being better and the goal, which led to a lot of confidence. If anyone is feeling like they need to improve their confidence, I would suggest trying the things I mentioned, they really do help. I'ma leave a quote here
"A confident person will hide their strengths, and turn their weaknesses into strengths." (The Dark Needle)
Such kind words, thanks! I didn’t notice I was doing that! I’m glad you made so much progress. I met of lot of people struggling more than me while I was hosting events. So I really resonated with what you said about wanting to lift them up. I think the process you described is the only way forward-got to get out of one’s comfort zone to really grow.
@@complexobjects exactly man, I think if we all do that, there will be less left out people and people can truly be who they're meant to be
This is one of the best social skills videos I've ever seen. I can't even pin down one thing that stands out, it's just evenly spread high quality in every aspect. Made my brain feel good.
This is most specific video on topic I found. I really mean it and great part is that it's not presented in style of self-help, just focusing on observations and paterns. Will definitely watch more of your videos as you propably have more points that can be put in just 30 minute video, people are so complex.
You are a good teacher Thank you
I LOVE that you went into depth with this. So helpful, thank you!
Hearing people say sorry in public for simply existing or walking past me is one of my biggest pet peeves
It is for me too and I say sorry alot. Like James McAvoy Wanted alot.
Sorry
Don't mix up politeness with weakness
@StrongRespect Am I a monster? You have to apologize for crossing my path? "I'm sorry" implies they did something wrong, "excuse me" is being polite when crossing in front of someone's path..I don't see it as weak, it's actually just confusing and I always say "don't be sorry!" "Oh I don't own this store" Or "why are you sorry?" 😂
Oh I AM SORRY did my existence anger you (LIKE EVERYONE ELSE)
Michael, you did an incredible job on this one! I watched it twice in a row and will definitely try adopting some of these habits in my social interactions.
Even before you mentioned it I thought: 'I love your style'
I was looking at the necklace trying to figure out what it was made of and thought about wether the shirt is a selfmade one or if it can be bought. Really like the design of it.
You made such a good video. It's my new mantra. There are so many things that were highlighted in this video, that I thought I knew how to do, but you found a way to do it even better. Like, the tips about a compliment, scrumptious. The part when you mentioned, "if you're bored during the conversation, they were too" mindblowing. And how to kill small talk, perfect.
That's very kind of you! Glad you got something out of it. Yeah, deciding to make a conversation more deep takes courage sometimes.
I make most of these mistakes but never too late to learn and start over. Thanks so much new subscriber
Very insightful
i can't explain how much i appreciate this video. we need a part 2!!!! :)))
Hey there, Michael. Congrats on having this video watched by lots of people compared to your previous videos! You must be overjoyed! Kudos, you deserve it 👏🏻
Your advice is so clearly explained! Felt myself visibly cringing at some of my mistakes here but that's learning haha
Great advice my man 💪🏻 thank you for helping people with your authenticity. We need more of that.
I’m so gracious for the lessons! Your personality is so warm and comforting ☺️
1 times out of 10, I come up to people like Heyyy whatsup!🥳🍻 and I get a response like 😒gtfo. I used to feel hurt about it. But you can get better at realizing they might just have had a bad day, or they have issues which make them act like an ahole.
A powerful and helpful video. I have encountered most of these concepts before and appreciate how you were able to run through seamlessly. Now I want to read those books and expand my social skills. Good job!
Your information is better than many TED talks! Actually beneficial information!
Mike, you did a great job with this video. Every segment is spot on, the way you explain things and examples you use - I just can't get enough of it. I also love your voice and pace.
For a half an hour video I was listening to on the background while cooking I got distracted only once, thats also telling :) I look forward to more
I'm so glad you enjoyed that! That's funny, I was getting over a cold but my voice was mostly recovered.
You've earned a new follower, your method is so much more refreshing than what most "grind-bros" tend to focus on. This is a new way to look at social interactions. Cheers mate ATB for ur channel.
Great lesson on social skills, really hope your channel blows up also "How to Talk to Anyone" is such a great book!
thanks for that video, michael! I will definitely use your pieces of advice in the future
Enjoyed the vid. Thanks for providing examples as well.
you did good man
My favorite treat them like an old friend
10/10 video honestly, one of the best I’ve seen on this topic and I’ve seen many. Please, if we are only just “scratching the surface”, we need much more.
Ur videos r so fire. Please keep posting if you like it🙌🏽🙌🏽
Interesting, YT is so topic dependent
I’m gonna be critical of this part of the video about body language!
Body language books really is not helpful for many individuals.
The only thing it made me do when I read it, was fear being in public more, since I typically move all over the place and often unaware or over analyze myself and become defeated and ashamed over how much I’m unable to control those small tiny movements which mean nothing! Literally they mean nothing. Just a way for my body to know it’s there still and attached.
I unfortunately cannot be “real and authentic” when it comes to being able to do little movements to help me calm down in a public place and most times I’m unaware I’m doing them. And when I become hyper aware, I become rigid and feel sick.
Can’t really stop them unless I want to make the experience hell.
Those kinds of body language books do not work for many people and I wouldn’t see it as gospel and fact that when someone does or moves or fidgets or does something, it’s not always going to mean what you might have read in the book about it.
yeah, those books are often made for and by neurotypicals
Yup I feel you, I also do some very stimmy tapping with my hands! Yes, those books don't necessarily help you control involuntary movements, nor should you try. And it's true that there isn't always a meaning to every movement.
I've found these books can point out positive body language that I can try, more than they help me read others. Go figure.
Getting out of our head is hard. Something very pleasant happens if you make yourself go out and talk to random people. You can get very present by doing something scary.
Bro you did an amazing job on this video with actually new information thats is very well put
Thanks a lot! "actually new information," I'm so glad to hear!
Personally i wouldnt get too obsessed with these behaviors. I would rather just think about them time to time. If i obsess to much i become a shell
I would pay to watch these kind of video i absolutely needed it , i will come back after few moths later to share my experience
Thankfully we have TH-cam lol. Yeah a few months seems about right for integrating some of these habits.. Good luck!
This was absolutely fantastic! It was just what I needed today.
Please do more of those. And thank you for your work!
Super interesting and precisely explained. I really enjoyed this.
Those are great advice + your presentation style and clear communication rock! Thank you Michael :)
you should post more you're a damn genius MICHAEL how do you know so much? (genuinely asking)
this video was great
Need more of this.
You’re so cool! Please do more content like this
Awesome video
These kinds of videos are appreciated. I saw your channel and i recommend you make more videos like these.
thank you
awesome video you break down very simply thank you
This is honestly such amazing advices, thanks Michael! Next video about internal?stuff would be much appreciated; a girl I was interested in said I was too tensed and she could feel it ha-ha...
Just found your channel, love your recommendations and book / video references. I'm now a subscriber. Thanks for your great work. Looking forward to more to come! 😊
it’s like the dunning krueger effect.
Dumb people say: “just be yourself”
“Smart” people in dating say: “create a frame where you’re the alpha, be careful, you can’t compliment her too much etc etc.”
The wise people say: “just be yourself”
once you get through a phase of doing game and stuff, you come out and realize most girls aren’t worth your time or money. You become powerful and desirable because you require things and characteristics that girls actually need to work towards.
I would be rolling my eyes at a cheesy line like, "you're coming out with me Friday night" and avoid tthat person b/c they are too cocky. also avoid your friend would makes declarations about things they know little about just to sound confident. that works 1x or 2x
I'm always smiling sometimes even when i talk ! But idk I'm just happy to talk to people and be with them. I might be weird lol
You're a great orator! Engaging stories and useful tips, keep up the good work :)
I appreciate you are not a copy cat.. recently all videos, all creators speak the same, edit the same, light the same..i hate.how everyone is so the same.
Great Video!
Pleasant surprise you’ve made here.
Thanks for all the time and passionate effort you put into this.
This is so interesting. I’m definitely taking notes. Thanks, Michael 🙂
You’re very welcome. Glad that was helpful!
How can I get your notes bro
this video is amazing, thank you
I learned a lot, because of you sir!
YAHsome and exciting times in-DEED ❤
Excelente contenido y directo al punto, gracias por tu video 👌🏻
Si❤
This is the best social skills video i have seen. Please do more like this - you sound like you will be good at sales - can you do a video on that top..m
Here in Ireland, we say sorry for everything, literally everything! Instead of excuse me we say sorry, if we don't hear something clearly, sorry etc.. No exaggeration, we are addicted to the term.
This so good I wanted to cry almost at the end😭😭
Amazing Content
I don't use the over precise language, I use correct phrasing for my level of certainty. It is good, and it is due to your internal honesty being high enough that your external language matches.
I partially disagree with the listening part.
It IS important to listen to people and especially friends, but don’t let yourself become a therapist or shrink for people who don’t care about you.
great vid, u earned my sub
Hi Michael, this is the best video I've watched in 2024!!!
This is my first time watching your video and I love your presentation style and the information you shared.
Keep making more videos like this!
P/S: almost subscribe to your channel, but looks like this a random personal interest channel
Edit: Fuck it, I am going subscribe anyway. Waiting for more content like this!!
i really enjoy this vid ❤
"Hello old friend" is genius
This a fucking Amazing video, never heard of you before but now you got my attention. I texted this vid out to several friends of mine who I think could get some value from it. Spread the love 🖤
Thanks for that sir! I know where I’m buying my next house jk
amazing
Why does this only have 2k views??
Cool video bro
Yes
please do more
Putting the spotlight on others-- it’s funny, nowadays I put a lot of effort on talking about my conversation partner, trying to find out more about them, that whenever they reciprocate and ask about me, I get very self conscious and try to deflect back to them as fast as I can. Bad habit I guess.
Can you make a video on books that have helped you with socializing?
I think the most hard part in all of this process is, how to initiate that conversation with that stranger especially is she's a girl.
Can you list out the books you mentioned or used in this video? It would be great to know which books were listed/used on this topic.
Thanks for reminding me. Done!
@@complexobjects cheers!
Cool video keep it up!
You’re so underrated wtf
What if you have social anxiety? Do you have a video addressing this?
You really do have a good style :)
it looked like you had a really cool SS shirt at first 💀
Your jacket looks kind of like the Netflix intro screen 😂
You look great in that shirt.
Good one. I see you lol
i do nearly all of those things you said not to do so ig i got a lot out of this video lol
i feel like you are AI. Even if you're in fact not.
he is
Maybe it’s green screen
@@Drawnbyf8it’s just his background light is harsh
Always go with ur gut
He is ai I can confirm because I made him as a social experiment. Congratulations you found out early!
8:27 we said it at the same time, its true😭
I don’t understand what being real even means anymore. My emotions and thoughts are so inconsistent and chaotic I’m not sure who I am some days or who the person is in the mirror. They look so fake and ugly no matter what mirror I look into.
I dissociate a lot and daydream a lot so maybe it has a lot to do with that.
Try to be more honest with yourself and don’t run away even if it might feel scary at first. With time flying by it gets better and not that scary i’ve been there i promise!!
Great video I would love to work with you sir
Hahahahha that “me too” 😂
You shall rise soon my friend (you lookalike sober markiplier)
Just in time
This is greqt, but a lot of thuis came so naturally to me since i can rememeber. Since becoming a little self aware I sometimes wonder if
Isn't that a good sign🤔?
Have a YAHsome day❤
I don't get how I can be authentic and at the same time show certainty/being sure about what I say when there are evidently things that I don't know or that are outside my control that might invalidate everything that I'm saying - I think I would look foolish and people would listen to me less after a bunch of errors of that kind. So, am I missing something in the logic of this?
Yeah it's true that people can get skeptical if it's done to an extreme (this is the case with the friend I mentioned). I wouldn't say it's about faking certainty in an uncertain situation. You can notice when you use uncertain language, and try to rephrase it. For e.g. there are many situations where people say "I think..." when it could be phrased "It is.." or similar.